#gringo loco's daughter

[kud-lucas]

[theflowerofthecommonwealth]

Jasmine: (Walks into Acadia on her own after a long day. She still hasn’t uttered at word out loud to anyone other than Nick, Kasumi, or Jules)

DiMA: (Stands from his chair to greet the teen) “Hello there, Jasmine! I hear you and Nick have had quite an adventure here on the Island.”

Jasmine: (Stops and slowly blinks at her new uncle, still very wary of him because of what he’s done to Jules who was her only friend at Acadia)

DiMA: (Smiles warmly and approaches) “Is there anything you want to know about the Island and its inhabitants? I have had my own fair share of adventures, I could recount a few to you if that’s something you’d like.”

Jasmine: (Blinks some more, then rubs her eyes) “Desculpe me.” (Yawns sleepily as she stretches out) “Estoy muy cansada porque anoche yo no dormí.”

DiMA: (Rubs his chin) “Hrm, that’s a foreign language that I am not familiar with. Though, so far there hadn't been much need for any other language other than English.”

Jasmine: (Straightens up then shakes her head) “No entiendo, señor.” (Makes a motion with her hand) “Más despacio, por favor.”

DiMA: “I think I have a better idea.” (Stares off for a few seconds) “………” (Starts sizzling like an old overworked computer as he installs Google Translate)

Jasmine: (Under her breath) “Oh fuck….”

Faraday: (Comes running in) “NOOOOOO! He can’t run a translator anymore! He’s too old and fragile!”

Chase: (Also comes flying in) “Get him to stop!”

Faraday: (Rushes over to a terminal) “I’m trying!”

Jasmine: (Steps back and tilts her head at the two) “No entiendo qué es lo que quieres.”

Chase: (Sternly) “Stop that! Stop talking!”

Jasmine: (Folds her hands and smiles innocently and politely) “Perdón señorita, no hablo inglés.”

Faraday: (Swears and grumbles like he’s a crazy person on drugs)

DiMA: (Sizzling and steaming to the point you could cook an egg on him)

Jasmine: (Motions to DiMA) “¿Está bien?”

Faraday: (Desperately mashing buttons) “VALENTINE! PLEASE COME GET BABY VALENTINE BEFORE SHE BLOWS UP THE WHOLE DAMN OBSERVATORY!!” (Screams at the terminal as it crashes and reboots)

Jasmine: (Crosses her arms) “Usted es un hombre muy estresado. ¿Usted está bien? ¡Necesita ayudar para los locos!”

Faraday: (Smacks the terminal multiple times as he yells over his shoulder) “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU ARE SAYING!!!”

Jasmine: (Mumbling to herself) “El gringo es un hombre loco y estúpido.” (Thinks it obvious she was joking from the start, they are all just too dense to notice)

Chase: “WE TOLD YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!”

Jasmine: “Ustedes cállense la boca!!!” (Throws up her hands) “¡No estoy haciendo nada!” (Jabs a finger at DiMA) “¡Es su culpa!” (She didn’t tell the synth to download a translator, just to talk more slowly)

Nick: (Appears from the stairway) “Alright missy, that’s enough outta you for one day.” (Snatches his daughter’s hand and starts dragging her away)

Faraday: (Squawking like a distressed and disturbed parrot as he shakes and bangs the terminal)

Jasmine: (Follows along without any complaints) “Papá, tú familia está MUY loca. ¿Por qué es eso?”

Nick: (Tired Dad sigh) “Let’s just get you to bed before ya blow your uncles fuse too….”

[mybunnyparadenme]

So I wrote this a while ago and only my friend Ashleigh’s read it so I figured I might as well let the rest of tumblr see it lol It’s something silly I wrote between chapters of a bigger project that WILL see the light of day soon I swear to godddd... 

Anyway, a brief summary! Mantequilla/El Pollo Loco angst, kind of an AU to the movie, but mostly just indulgent drama :3c If anybody wants the lore behind this ficlet let me know! Also I used google translate for the spanish bits because even though I’m literally mexican and speak it every day I’m just. Awful at it XD

The sun was setting over the horizon, taking the heat of the day with it, but still Mantequilla felt a line of sweat trickling down the side of his face. He was going to be late to the meeting, all because he had stayed with David and his family for longer than he should have... But it had been so nice to share a moment of peace with his friend, so he'd let himself get distracted by little Juanita and her dreamy stories of becoming a famous dancer when she was older and the war was over.

He and David had smiled and nodded along to the little girl's words and performances, but when their eyes met across the table, the look they shared was one of grim reality. The war had been raging since they were children, and showed no signs of stopping in the near future. Most days, Mantequilla didn't think there would ever be an end to it, the violence and the tyranny that came from up north. The States were hellbent on getting through their borders, and it was only through the endless efforts from resistance leaders like them that kept the worst of the fighting at bay.

Mantequilla sighed and let himself rest against the wall of a nearby bodega. He'd be busy organizing his people for the next few days, today's dinner his last reprieve for the forseeable future. It was hard, the long days and sleepless nights, sometimes so much that he questioned whether or not it was even worth all the work. But then he thought about David's daughter with all her optimistic hopes and dreams... things that depended on him and his resistance network to keep going. A brighter future for her and kids like her had to be worth it, right?

"It's rare not to see you running, conejito." A deep voice whispered in his ear.

Mantequilla nearly leapt out of his skin as he whirled around, his hand going into his pocket to pull out his trusty knife. HIs grip relaxed when his eyes landed on the face the voice belonged to, his relief too big to keep from flooding his tone, "D-Diosito Loco, I nearly killed you!"

"You didn't even come close, Mantequilla." El Pollo Loco said, reaching up to run his thumb over the flat part of the blade. "Don't tell me you're getting soft on me?"

"There's no room for softness in our line of work." Mantequilla murmured, his fingers itching to reach out and touch Loco's face. He was unmasked at the moment, a rare treat that he didn't get to see often. His golden hair stood out like a sore thumb, same as his, but Loco held himself so casually that no one would think to look twice at him. Mantequilla dropped his gaze for a moment, pushing down the fluttery feeling underneath his ribs. Loco was her on business. "H-Have you gotten the information I asked you for?"

"Yeah, I did." Loco glanced around the area with keen eyes, looking for spies listening in on their conversations as always. In their line of work you could never be too sure of who to trust. "I'll send the official transcripts to General Desorden, but the long and short of it is that they're planning on sending in more soldiers, but not like the ones we've been fighting lately. These are bad people, Mantequilla."

"We'll be ready for them." Mantequilla said, a familiar buzz of anxiety spasming through his hands. He pressed his knuckles together and rubbed them against each other, the friction keeping him grounded. "I won't have any more of my people taken from us."

"There's always casualties in war." Loco said, a sad look entering his eyes. No doubt he was thinking of his brother, fighting over on the State's side. Patriotism was a hell of a drug, one that Mantequilla was well aware went both ways. How many attempts had been made on his life by people who called him 'el gringo sin lealtad,' despite the fact that he'd chosen Mexico years ago? He'd been loyal to it's people, his people, and yet because he'd been born on the other side of the border, his loyalty would always be cast in doubt.

He would still fight for those people though. Because they deserved to see peace too.

"Some day it'll be over." Mantequilla said, dropping his gaze to the ground as he said it. He really wanted to believe it. He wanted Loco to be able to see his brother without fear that he'd end up with a bullet to the head for treason. He wanted to see Juanita dance on a stage in a country that wasn't ravaged by war. He wanted... The last rays of sunlight reflected off a window and illuminated Loco's hair, and Mantequilla felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted a future where he could casually run his fingers through that hair and be free to express his feelings instead of dismissing them as a terrible distraction.

"Tienes demasiada esperanza, conejito." You have too much hope. Loco reached out to touch his cheek, a soft brush of his knuckles that only lasted a moment. The only sign that he had the same feelings and fears that Mantequilla had.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and gave him a wistful smile. "Es todo lo que tenemos, mi pollito loco." It's all we have.

They didn't say anything else, and after a moment Loco walked away without looking back. His job was done now, and he'd only come back when Mantequilla needed his skills again. It was the only way to keep the feelings at bay, the distance both a blessing and a curse. The longing never left, aching just underneath Mantequilla's skin, but he knew how to practice out of sight, out of mind better than most people. He repeated it over and over like a mantra as he walked away from the bodega.

With Loco gone, he could focus on the path ahead. He had a meeting to get to, and a war to win.

[bluboothalassophile]

Hello, it’s my birthday! How do you think dad Constantine and canon Constantine react to meeting each other? Have a nice day😊

Hello,

Happy Be Lated Birthday! I am so sorry this is late, it took a little time, and I’ve been a bit busy to write lately. But I do hope you enjoy the story! =) And Best Wishes for Your New Year In Life! May it be great and fun and a hell of an adventure!

You Have How Many Daughters?

Why did this shit always happen to him?

It would’ve been one thing if it was someone else; but why was it always him? Was there no one else the universe loved to fuck over? Was there some flashing neon red sign screaming ‘Please Fuck Me!’? Constantine wondered this as he crept through his house, not entirely certain as to what had happened, but knowing it was a spell gone wrong; bloody amateurs they had fucked with the wrong ingredients and he didn’t know what had happened but it had happened, and now he was here.

In a weird alternate version of his house!

And it was really crazy!

What the hell was this!? A brothel!?

“Don’t mess with that Traci, we don’t need you going to New York!” a sharp voice stated.

“But!”

“No pequeño!” she stated rounding the corner in a flurry of curls and frustration, he blinked rapidly. “John!? I thought you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow!” Zed smiled, he blinked. “We’ll talk in a bit, I was just taking Amy out with Ace, Raven is on her date with Jason, they went to see 1917, Zatanna is going to be late, she had a Broadway audition, Lilith is in Atlantis, and Traci, Ace, and Alice are all here for now, I’ve locked them out of the rooms they don’t be long in, and Zach’s out with Klarion.”

“Zed?” he whispered, shocked to see her standing there before him.

“Hm?” she hummed as she picked up her purse.

“You’re… you’re alive?” he whispered.

“We gotta go!” a small blonde teen shouted.

“I’ll be right there princesa,” Zed called out over her shoulder. “Are you alright John, you don’t look too good,” she said reaching out to touch his brow.

“I… you’re alive,” he whispered.

“Yes…” she drawled out.

“The cancer…”

“Raven healed that, John, you know this,” Zed said.

“Raven?”

“Raven, you know, our daughter,” Zed said. “The favorite child, stands about this tall, black hair, violet eyes, kicks ass with magic and shadows, demi demon; who you adopted.”

“I… Raven Roth?” he sputtered remembering the young witch on the Titan’s team.

“I don’t know a Raven Roth.”

“We gotta go!” the blonde shouted again.

“I’m going to go lay your father down sweetie, loco gringo is falling apart,” she muttered as she looped her arm with Constantine’s. He was so shocked that she was here, she was alive he couldn’t wrap his head around that. He had watched Zed die, in a hospital three weeks ago, held her hand as she had gone too. He had wept for Death to leave her and take him instead, but that hadn’t happened. Now she was here, it was too much.

“Dad,” a small voice croaked out and large dark eyes peered at him.

“You father isn’t feeling well Ace, I’m taking him to bed,” Zed said.

“That’s what she said!” came a loud laugh.

“Not the time Alice!” Zed shouted.

“Yes mom.”

“Call Raven, ask if she can come home early and take Amy to the store, your father appears a bit ill,” Zed shouted.

“Yes mom,” came the sigh.

“And Call Luci!” she shouted.

“Luci?” he muttered.

“Luci will help with whatever spell you did wrong now,” she sighed.

“Zed, love I’ve done it!” came a voice too similar to his own; he knew that madness, even if he didn’t see the bastard. The smug bastard rounded the corner with a mad grin and his hair a disheveled mess. “Who the Bloody Hell Are You And Why Are You Touching My Wife!” the man shouted.

“John!?” Zed sputtered dropping his arm and stepping away in utter confusion as the other Constantine grabbed Zed and pulled her close. Constantine fell back; he couldn’t take it anymore!

~~~*~*~*~~~

John watched the other Constantine fall back in a dead faint, felt his wife slap his shoulder.

“We should move him,” Zed said after she was done checking to make sure they hadn’t killed the other him.

“Fine!” he groaned. “You get his legs and I’ll get his nose,” he muttered, between the two of them they managed to get the other John in his room and they dropped him on the bed.

“Raven will be here soon, perhaps she can tell us what the hell is going on!” Zed huffed as she lifted the other hims’ leg onto the bed.

“I’m here,” Raven said walking out of the shadows. “What’s the emergency… oh.” She blinked as the other Constantine was finally coming around.

“Where the bloody hell am I? Weirdest bender I’ve been on,” the other muttered.

“Well, not weird enough, and keep your hands to yourself, bastard!” John spat out as the other Constantine came around. The other Constantine looked between him and Zed then Raven, then back to Zed.

“I… you…” he started.

“Very alive,” Zed huffed out. Folding her arms she looked at him, John wanted to kiss Zed then; though their marriage was new and tentative their partnership was old and reliable.

“I…” Constantine looked around.

“Give us a minute,” Constantine ordered Zed and Raven, both the women were quick to nod and leave.

“This isn’t possible,” Constantine murmured sitting up.

“What? Us, slightly happy and sane?” John asked pulling a smoke and handing it to the other Constantine.

“Yes.”

“I would have agreed, about a decade ago,” he said as he light his cigarette.

“What happened?”

“Got a demi-demon for a daughter and had to stop feeling sorry for myself,” Constantine shrugged. “Found Raven when I was going to go free Astra,” he admitted.

“So…”

“So stop feeling sorry for yourself, pull your head out of your ass, and whatever you’re doing on your Earth, fix it to what you want!” Constantine ordered.

“No sympathy for a bloke when he’s down?”

“No. I have too many daughters and a Devil wandering in an out of my life to have sympathy for anyone other than the girls,” Constantine said.

“She’s alive here.”

“Rae would never let her die,” John shrugged.

[chengchengfans]

Cani!Idol Producer

hi guys this is our first post, you might not understand a lot of it bUT worry not, you have the cani dictionary at the end of the post then it’ll make more sense. REMEMBER before reading any of our posts and being able to take it too seriously (this is just pure meme + joking ok) read our disclaimer

Zhu Zhengting — Dalas Azahar Martínes

>has a youtube channel >only lets his fans call him dalasito >he has dated many gringas >you get hate when he introduces you in his channel as his gf >makes a 40 minute video asking fans to not send more hate to you

Bu Fan — Pedro Javier Domínguez del Monte García

>he looks tough but he loves flowers >works part-time at his aunt’s floristería (and buys flowers for his má'h everytime he gets his pay) >hands on your waist all the time >worries about your wellbeing during parties >“ci te encuentra'h mu’ hesha por'vo me pega'un gritaco de'ezoh’ mujé'h” >calls u mami cuz he’s a mamma’s boy

Cai Xukun — Rodrigo Luis Vázques

>he’s the papi of all the nenas (but blushes when they call him that) >asks u to meet at the closest plazoleta to go for a walk around the barrio >dances sevillana with you at your fiesta de los 18 >90% of his pictures on ig are him in front a mirror taking the pic with his phone covering half of his face

Fan Chengcheng — Miguel de la Rosa

>His mother calls him “chochón” >wanna-be-swaggy-rapper >his idols are lai guanlin and jbalvin >his favorite song for perreo is ginza

Wang Ziyi — Juan Sancho Suárez

>has a closet full of tracksuits in different colors >has a new girlfriend every week and each one is the best thing to have ever happened in his life >he’s been dating the current one for one day and 54 minutes and he’s known her for two days (a record on the longest time he’s known her before dating) >calls them “gorda” >has one of those really small motorbikes that his uncle gave him for his bday (he can’t drive it yet but he shows it off)

Justin — Jaime Cortez

>He likes to use swear words and use the middle finger to look cooler (and then the rest of the gang give him a tapaboca bc he’s too young to be that vulgar) >only hangs out with an older gang (aka the rest of his gente from his tuto) >he looks up to taeyong (his favorite phrase is estoy loco mi dulce coco) >his favorite food is his mom’s puchero but he tells everyone it’s actually kebap

Ling Chao — Xavier Salazar

>his real name is javier but he says it’s xavier (call him xavi) >he had over 800+ friends on tuenti (his name was xavi pakemaz tkgorda) >calls his gf princesa and even tho he doesn’t say it, expects her to call him príncipe too >makes those lame ass graffitis with a heart and the number of the day the started dating inside and below it, it says “un ∞ a tu lado princesa”

click on the ‘read more’ for the cani dictionary

•'dalasito’ - dalas azahar is a spanish youtuber that for some reason that idc about is always involved if different controversies and when we first saw zhengting on pd101 we thought he looked like him

•gringas - a (latinamerican) way of calling white people (gringos is for males)

•floristería - flower shop

•má’h - mom in a rlly stupid way LMAO

•“ci te encuentra'h mu’ hesha por'vo me pega'un gritaco de'ezoh’ mujé'h” - ‘if you feel really exhausted, call me out, woman’ in a really cani way

•papi - daddy

•nenas - babies

•plazoleta - square (in a city)

•barrio - neighbourhood

•sevillana - typical spanish dance (flamenco)

•fiesta de los 18 - 18th birthday party

•chochón - affectionate nicknames from mothers to their children (normally daughters → chochete/chocho). comes from the word ‘chocho’ which means p**sy but in a childish not vulgar but colloquial way

•jbalvin - makes reggaeton music, just for fun here you have a video of noh taehyun from hotshot (and jbj) imitating him

•perreo - twerking (+grinding)

•gorda - means fat, but some canis (and chonis aka female canis call them gordo) call their partners that in an affectionate way

•tapaboca - when a child says bad words it’s common for parents to softly slap their mouth repeatedly. literally means 'mouthcovering’

•gente - people

•tuto - instituto (high school)

•estoy loco mi dulce coco - taeyong’s phrase from baby don’t stop. means “i’m crazy, my sweet coconut”. apparently people from the caribean say “estoy loco como (like) coco”?

•puchero - typical spanish food (especially for winter bc you eat it warm)

•tuenti - a social network that tried to be the same as fb but stayed as the hanging spot of all the canis

•pakemaz tkgorda - pakemaz → ¿Para qué más) aka why more and tkgorda → te quiero gorda aka i love you gorda. typical name canis used as their surnames in tuenti

•princesa - princess

•príncipe - prince

•un ∞ a tu lado princesa - an ∞ by your side, princess

[jfastereft]

"A SHORT STORY ABOUT THE WHITE MAN WITH THE TAN."  a poem, Saturday,

October 19, 2019

 Irish Jim has got him a tan; it is BROWN  and CLEAN,

A tanThat makesHimLookMoreLikEaHispanicManThanAnyHispanicManI'veEverSeen,

So, when Jim was approached by "Pablo at The Bar,"

WhoWhispered "I hate white men," Jim said, "But surely white men are,

JUST LIKE US, neither all good   nor all bad."

 "But white men KEEP US DOWN and that makes me (blue or) sad,

That we can't cross THE TRACKS, the railroad tracks after 9:00,

Or that we are 'looked down upon.'  Wouldn't it be fine,

IF ALL WHITE MEN TURNED THEIR PALE SKIN TO BROWN?"

 At this, good, brown Jim, he began to frown,

And replied: "But isn't 'DIVERSITY THE SPIC(e) OF LIFE,'

And couldn't a kindly, white man take a Senorita as his wife?"

 Pablo, who had a BEAUTIFUL, dark skinned, radiant daughter with ample measurements named Chiquiquita* that "caught Jim's eye," said: "NO, (because) white men and women are cruel and conceited,

And PREJUDICED, and we certainly should have 'WEEDED,

OUT' all white men from HERE  long ago,"

 And, with that, Jim reCANTed?  "You're RIGHT, Paul, I shall NEVER again mow,

No white man's prejudiced, overly green lawn;

You're right (by golly); WE MUST STOP BEING 'PUT UPON.' "

 " . . . and both that morning equally lay, in leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day but knowing how way leads on to way, I DOUBTED IF I SHOULD EVER COME BACK."**

 So, Mexican Jim, he left that day with a different point of view,

A view of sortaHatingWhiteMen, going   ToBrownFromBlue,

For, this is what weKNOW (that) Good Jim   (what he) finally?  knew?

WasThat IT'S BEST TO BLEND IN,

For, in Alpine,*** it's best to do what Alpinians do.

 fin  <3

*A limerick, entitled: 

"For Love Of Chiquiquita."  or  "Did I Get Too Much Sun Or Something?"

I once had me some brackish, Irish sentiment,

Which meant IheldTo"Creme de MentheCondiment,"

But then I went "brown,"

ForWithA Senorita I laid down,

Now, "The Worm's" in "The TequiL Ianni**** Firmament!"  

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S68Sc_SoelY

 ** - from Walt Whitman's "The Road Not Taken."  Walt Whitman, a white man:  [W] hite, [W] alt,  [W] hitman, [W] ow.

*** - Alpine, Texas, U. S. A., Home of the famous CANTina OldGringo Coffee & Cocktails, nestled in The Heart of The Beautiful Davis Mountains, about 180 miles away from Midland, Texas, and about 210 miles away from El Paso.  Come visit, so we can buy you a nice cup of coffee or a Topo Chico Aqua Mineral, bottled in Monterrey, Mexico, since 1895.  Come pronto, for this offer expires sometime in the near future.

**** - Yanni, a hindi term referencing the female private part, elsewhere simply called: "The Y."   or  "The Why."  (At this point, we can clearly hear chuckling Hispanic men and woman saying: "Gringo Loco; Gringo Loco.")

 White people, Brown people, Blue People, GREEN,

This is the strangest party    I    EVER have seen.

"What is happening down there?" said Jesus to His Dad;

"Son, I am not sure, but I think it's something BAD,

That seems to   EM ANATING  from The Mystic Poet's pen."

"Dad, I better go back there; I better go back again,

To clean up this mess; this guy's verses are blowing our cover."

"With my blessings, Son; just don't tell your mother."

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svTVR3DcTvY

[edwardleethompson]

Anthony learns the basics of drifting. Practicing burnouts and donuts in a bone stock 1998 Ford Mustang GT with steering rack limiters and all! Gringo Loco does a few donuts and drift passes too! 02:15 Burnout 03:04 Standing Burnout 04:19 Donut Basics 06:07 First Full Donut 07:11 Tony's First Passenger 08:38 Gringo Loco Donuts 09:26 Gringo Loco Drift Runs 11:04 Gringo Loco Gives 6-Year-Old Daughter a Drift Ride