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scaralvr · 2 years ago

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young girl a scaramouche x gn!vocaloid!reader (modern au, project sekai/colorful stage au, family issues mainly focused on grades, insecurities, fluff, character death, angst) tag(s): @etherisy

important: i showed myself through this (y/n) and i got carried away. feel free to stop reading if it gets too much. and please don't vent, it makes me overwhelmed.

twelve-year-old scaramouche hates his mother and he's sure of it. in his eyes, she's always nagging at him to study and stay at the top of the leaderboard at all times like her son should be. but that one day in middle school was the day his hope of earning her praises had been distinguished.

it was also the day that you, his rival and ex best friend, conquered him in the exam.

this can't be right, scaramouche could only think as he stared at the list of students' names on the wall in horror. he'd been beaten by a single question.

you were standing next to him, though a bit further to remain distance. you looked at your name with a blank expression. scaramouche clenched his fist and he gritted his teeth in raw anger. in an instant, he turned to face you and grabbed you by the collar, shaking you like a ragdoll with every word he shouted.

students began to gasp and murmur as their interest piqued. some even laughed. "don't you understand how this will impact me!?" scaramouche yelled at you but you didn't utter a single word nor did you show any change in your complexion.

"i hate you! i hate you!" he repeated. one would even say that tears were peeking at the corners of his eyes as his glare was filled with pure loathe and hate. slowly raising his arm, he slapped you across the face, capturing everyone's attention.

you fell to the floor and the moment you looked up, he was already running the other way, his trail of unshed tears following him.

"you slapped them, kunikuzushi!?" ei yelled at her son, her voice becoming strained from the pressure on her throat. scaramouche didn't respond and his eyes were trained on his hands tightly clutching at the hem of his shirt as he sat on the couch in shame.

although his back was beginning to hurt from the slouching position, she continued. "i didn't raise you to be like this; why did you do it!? and even worse, you let them beat you in the monthly exam by dismissing the bonus question! this is unbelievable!" ei added fuel to the fire, his tears uncontrollably cascading down his cheeks.

"i don't know why i did it." scaramouche mumbled through quiet snivels. ei menacingly narrowed her eyes and crumpled up the paper with his score of one hundred. "that is no excuse, kunikuzushi," she said, voice lowering to a normal tone. "i'm disappointed upon the failure of a son i've raised."

the cherry on top was ei throwing the ball of paper to the side and slamming the front door to leave for some fresh air. scaramouche could hardly contain his emotions any longer, for he buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with his loud sobs.

the next day, ei forced him to come along with her to say a formal apology to your parents. "you've messed up enough already, don't continue." she firmly said with her eyes looking elsewhere. scaramouche grinded his jaw.

i know you don't want to look at me. he silently thought to himself and his heart twinged with a pain of knowing his mother hated her only son. and that only son just had to be a disappointment.

ei rang the doorbell and as soon as she pressed it with her fingertip, scaramouche's eyes darted to her nails. well manicured and polished with a thin layer of violet. he fought back a scoff from slipping up. of course she'd want to look formal in front of your parents.

your mother answered the door just a few moments later. "hello... do you have any business here?" she queried with a small voice. scaramouche nearly cringed at her appearance. her eyes were red and puffy, most likely from crying, with gray bags beneath it, from staying up, he would guess.

ei blinked a few times before sighing with a smile. "i'm ei, kunikuzushi's mother. i'm sure you're aware that he... slapped your child yesterday. i-he made it his responsiblity to come apologize in person." she said, kindly offering her hand.

a puzzled expression appeared upon your mother's face. "you mean (y/n)? oh, they..." your mother's bottom lip quivered. "we haven't seen them since dinner last night. the police say that children at this age run away from home for short periods of time but my (y/n) isn't like that." she solemnly said and tears started to fill her eyes.

ei was taken aback, equally so as scaramouche. "th-they did?" she asked, eyes widened in shock. your mother stammered, "i-if they did run away, it's likely because of what i said about them constantly being in second place. i was overjoyed to hear that they finally got first but they suddenly vanish the next morning. i just don't understand..."

ei's grip slightly tightened on scaramouche's shoulder. scaramouche gulped. was he going to get a scolding? was he going to be blamed for your disappearance? pushing those thoughts aside for now, ei frowned. "i'm so sorry to hear that, mrs. (l/n). i hope they return to you soon."

the drive home had an unsettling silence, sometimes replaced with ei's index fingernail slowly tapping against the wheel. scaramouche was sitting in the passenger's seat as he looked out the window, waiting for his mother to speak up. but she never did... until they reached home.

when she pulled into the driveway, scaramouche's immediate instinct was to pull the handle and leave the car, however, ei hadn't unlocked it. he slowly looked over to her and settled back into his seat.

she turned off the engine and exhaled. "you do understand why i tell you to study, hm?" ei asked. scaramouche warily nodded. "because you want me to have a good future." he muttered. ei pursed her lips that were a tainted pink from her previous lipstick.

"after witnessing that poor woman lose her child because of the stress from studying, it suddenly seems like my 'problems' aren't compared to the pain she feels." ei explained. "they'll never compare to the heartbreak she's experiencing." she added with a soft voice.

scaramouche was taken by surprise when ei cupped his face and finally looked into his eyes. tears instantly dripped down his cheeks, "mom..." ei meekly smiled, "will you forgive me, kuniku-" she yelped when he hugged her, crying loudly into her torso.

ei placed a hand on his head, "there, there. i'm sorry, dear." she tutted, all the while stroking his hair. scaramouche hiccuped, "i miss hugging you like this." she laughed, but the tears that fell down her face were a strange mix to her feelings.

"i haven't hugged you in a long time, have i?" ei questioned as she pulled away to wipe his tears. scaramouche rubbed at his eye and he shook his head. ei sadly smiled, "my poor son..." she suggested, "would you like to sleep in my room tonight?"

scaramouche nodded and she planted a kiss on his forehead, "alright. let's go inside now, we'll have your favourite for dinner." that night, in his mother's arms, scaramouche did a lot of thinking.

his mother loves him again... because he slapped you. no, but because you ran away. why did you do what you did? scaramouche wanted to thank you, maybe even become your friend again yet he deemed that as something foolish, becoming your friend once more because he benefited from your disappearance.

even though... it was the least he could do. consider it an indirect way of thanking you for giving him back his mother figure. so he waited. he waited days for your return. days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months.

suddenly, he finds himself in a high school classroom, still awaiting your arrival. your disappearance made its showcase on the news a few weeks after you first went missing and it's your anniversary today. today is the day you vanished when the both of you were twelve.

"yoho!~ scara, do you think you'll be able to come with us to the cafe this time?" his friend, childe, asked with a huge grin. columbina collected her items as she gave the ginger a deadpan expression, "are you serious, childe? he's probably going to go shopping with his mom again."

childe mocked a high-pitch voice that was supposed to be a female's. "ooh, shopping with the girls! can i come, bae?" he made kissy noises and scaramouche smacked him in the back of the head, "you wish." sandrone raised a brow, "so are you coming with us?"

scaramouche shrugged, "i don't see why not. plus, i have no plans today." rosalyne clasped her hands, "perfect! there's some desserts there i'd like to critique." pantalone grumbled and rolled his eyes, "again?" rosalyne snapped, "if you hate it so much, don't come!"

arlecchino pointed out, "he's obviously there for the free food. it's all on your budget, anyways." rosalyne huffed, "right, so stop complaining about it." the bell rang, gaining their attention.

scaramouche slung his bag over his shoulder and childe cheered, "yay, let's go!" arlecchino yelled, "someone put the child on a leash!" pantalone grabbed childe by the ear, "i got him." the six made their way out the classroom and began their venture to the cafe across the street.

sandrone happily chirped, "i heard there's some matcha cakes there now." scaramouche mocked a gagging noise of disgust, "i hate matcha." sandrone furrowed her brows, "oh, shut it, scara! you always eat desserts, i'm honestly surprised you say you hate it without even trying it yet."

pantalone hummed, "what she said. scara's a picky eater anyways, there's no helping it." he teased and scaramouche grumbled, "be quiet!" his phone started vibrating in his pocket and he fished it out.

they all peered at the user displayed on the screen. "your mom, huh? is she going to ask you to get home and help her cook again?" arlecchino joked and scaramouche answered the phone, murmuring a quiet, "not this time, hopefully."

he waved his hand and gestured for them to go ahead. childe put a thumbs up with a happy-go-lucky expression and columbina hissed, "c'mon, you big himbo, we'll wait for him in the cafe."

scaramouche rounded a corner and entered an empty alleyway. "hey, mom." he said with a pleasant smile gracing his features. "what time will you be getting home? i'm cooking dinner right now." ei replied on the other side of the line, holding her phone in between her jawline and shoulder while stirring the food.

"maybe a little after five. me and the rest are going to check out the new desserts the cafe down the street has." scaramouche began to walk deeper into the alley. ei nodded, "alright, stay safe, okay? i'll be waiting for you. oh, shit, it's overboiling-" she muttered, leaning over to look into the pot.

scaramouche sputtered out a chuckle, "you should get to that." ei nodded, "yup. i'll call again later, okay? have fun." and with that, she quickly hung up. scaramouche pulled the phone away from his ear only to find an untitled song file on the screen.

he raised a brow, "what?..." and because his curiosity got the best of him, he played it, but only heard silence. scaramouche tsked as he examined the player, "does this damn thing even work?" suddenly, a white flash engulfed his gaze and he ended up in what seemed like a whole new world.

scaramouche blinked a few times as he regained his vision. he was in the hallway of the middle school he attended with you; the same hallway with the list of students' scores on the wall. he sneered, "is this some type of sick joke?" he ripped the paper down and inspected it.

seeing your name made his stomach twist, the memories flooding back to him. scaramouche crumpled it up and looked left and right. "why the hell am i here of all places?" he sweatdropped.

"it's nice to see you again, scaramouche."

that voice, it couldn't be.

there was a halt to his movements and he slowly turned. you're... "alive!" scaramouche instantly yelled, taking you by surprise as you backed away. he shook his head, "sorry about that but, um, you're alive!" he repeated.

scaramouche marveled at you. you seemed different, but he couldn't tell in what way. sure, the both of you have grown so you looked more mature now with minor changes in your facial features yet there was something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.

you laughed, "of course i'm alive. hm, why wouldn't i be?" you asked as if it were the most sensible question in the world as you tilted your head. scaramouche stammered, "w-wait, are you even alright? you went missing, like, six years ago! and why are we here, what?" he turned around once, twice, to completely take in his surroundings.

you gasped, "ahh, we're in your sekai. it's lovely, isn't it? i'm glad the other vocaloids assigned me to show you around." scaramouche's eye twitched, "wh-what?" he widened his eyes, pupils dilating.

he sees it now. the way you slightly fade with some sort of code, your voice that's still the same but sounds like it's synthesized... scaramouche lifted a finger, "you're... what are you!? you can't be (y/n)! can you actually start explaining now!?" he demanded, gritting his teeth.

you frowned, "and i thought i'd have a warmer welcome, from you, of all people. well, i am that (y/n), believe it or not. i simply locked myself away in my sekai to hide from the reality that awaits me outside, specifically, my parents."

scaramouche could hardly comprehend anything you were saying. "okay, hold on. take it from the start. what is a sekai?" he asked with a tone that meant he was clearly irritated by the lack of answers. you added, "a sekai is a world people create from their feelings. these people are people having trouble with understanding themselves. for example, me and you."

you extended your hand to him, "this is your sekai, scaramouche." hesitant, he gulped and held onto your hand. you led him down the hall with a calm expression and continued to explain. "you built this world because you feel that way, no? otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

scaramouche interrupted you, "now, wait just a second. who the fuck said i was having trouble understanding myself? i'm completely fine." he rolled his eyes and you sighed. "see, that, is why you're here. you don't even realize it yet, so i'm here to help you."

he huffed, "why don't you just leave your sekai?... your parents miss-" scaramouche quickly shut up when you gave him a menacing glare. "don't talk about them." you returned to your sweet demeanor just as quick. "i'd appreciate it very much. i've spent many years re-building my walls and i won't allow them to tear it down again."

you hummed a strange tune while leading him down the stairs, "right now, we're going to my sekai, so i can show you how things work before you hang around your own." scaramouche stuttered, "b-but, won't you come back?"

you stopped in your tracks and turned to face him. "no, i won't," you plainly commented, holding up a finger with the hand that wasn't holding his. "the vocaloids, despite them being synthesizers with human-like forms, are what i deem my family and friends now."

"they make me feel like i belong." you said, looking at him with a soft gaze. scaramouche pursed his lips. "why didn't you just stay for a little longer? weren't you happy to have finally beaten me, to make your parents proud?" he asked, clutching at his chest.

you narrowed your eyes, "i wasn't. if anything, i was sad. sad because they'd only love me if i abided by their strict guidelines, sad because they'd only accept me if i studied, sad because..." your form glitched. "i knew some robots would be the only ones there for me."

you let go of his hand and your eyes filled with tears. "what do you know, scaramouche? i recieved my sekai when i was only twelve and i kept it a secret because i used it to escape that wretched household."

"don't ever tell me i should've stayed a little while longer, you know why? because if i did, nothing would've change. i'd continue getting good grades for my parents' acceptance and not for my own happiness. does that seem right to you? and if anything, i most probably would have fallen back to second place and they'd continue nagging at me, telling me i've failed them." you sniveled, your tears sliding down your face.

scaramouche frowned, "you're wrong, (y/n). because i do know. i know how it feels like to be abandoned because of my grades, i know how it feels like to have that gut-churning feeling when i bring my report card home, i know, (y/n). trust me, i know." he said, now holding your face in his lithe hands so he made sure you looked at him.

scaramouche slyly smiled. "i'll tell you what. if i come here everyday to try and understand myself, will you come back?" your lips thinned out into a line, "sounds easy enough. but i'm only giving you one month. if you haven't understood yourself by then, it's farewell to the chances of me returning, okay?"

scaramouche smirked, "alright. well, i'm positive i'll win this little challenge of ours, (n/n)." you scoffed, "(n/n)? you haven't called me that since we were in elementary." he shrugged, "people change."

you smiled, "we can visit my sekai tomorrow. you should be getting back now, no?" scaramouche let go of you and innocently grinned. "that's right. but how exactly do i do that?"

you giggled, "i'll see you soon." a white flash covered his vision again, capturing you along with it as you vanished. scaramouche blinked and he was back in the alleyway. he patted his hands from his head down to his torso, making sure his whole body was intact.

he pinched his temples, "holy shit, that felt like some weird fever dream. wait, how do i know it wasn't?" scaramouche questioned but his thoughts were disrupted by pantalone's yelling. "get your ass over here, scaramouche! we've been waiting for five minutes now!"

scaramouche furrowed his brows together, "five minutes, only?" he wondered aloud. he opened his phone to find out when he ended the call with ei. just now? scaramouche squinted in curiosity but followed pantalone back to the cafe.

"i'm home." scaramouche announced as he kicked his shoes off. he entered the kitchen where he found ei baking dessert. ei turned with a bowl of batter in her arms, "welcome back, kuni. how was school? did you finish your lunch? oh, how's that cafe you went to?" she bombarded him with all sorts of questions.

scaramouche smiled as she pecked him on the forehead. "school was mundane. i ate most of my lunch and it was very nice. you should cook my food more often." a lie. he fed those dreadful, burnt dumplings to childe and sandrone. "the cafe was alright, i guess. the desserts itself are good." he finished, putting his bag aside.

ei nodded with a big smile, "i'd be delighted to cook more for you, kunikuzushi! and i was wondering if you wanted to go with me to get groceries tomorrow after my work, it is a saturday." she said, pouring the batter into a pan. scaramouche only hummed for confirmation.

tomorrow's going to be a saturday, he thought to himself as he prepared the cutlery and bowls on the table. when mom leaves maybe i can... scaramouche's gaze flitted to her.

"thank you for the food."

he picked up the chopsticks and the bowl, putting it closer to his face so he wouldn't get the noodles and broth everywhere. as he ate, he noticed something a little off about ei this particular evening. "is something on your mind?" scaramouche piped up, hoping for an answer.

ei clasped her hands together with a sad smile. "as you know, it's (y/n)'s anniversary today, that poor child. the funeral they held last year had been the worst for their parents, the casket remaining empty." she muttered, gaze moving downwards. scaramouche looked elsewhere.

"the authorities came to a conclusion some days ago that (y/n) really did run away, considering the fact that there's quite literally no trace of them anywhere. i was just notified of this by their mother and i'd also like to stop by their house after we get groceries tomorrow, if that's fine with you?" ei queried and scaramouche nodded. "sure."

the beeping of scaramouche's alarm clock woke him up. beams of sunlight peered through the blinds of his window. still tired, he sat upwards and opened the blinds, squinting from the brightness. suddenly, he was filled with energy.

"(y/n)'s sekai; they wanted to show it to me today!" scaramouche realized, running downstairs to get his phone from his jacket. he looked himself down and noticed. "shit, i'm still in pajamas." after a proper change of clothing, he found the untitled song file on the screen, just like yesterday.

miku exclaimed, "checkmate!" as she knocked over kaito's chess piece. kaito laughed, "miku, that's the third time you've been doing it wrong." miku whined, "eeh? but it's so complicated." luka giggled, "come, let me show you the way again- oh?"

scaramouche idly stood with a nervous face. are these the vocaloids they were talking about? he thought to himself, examining them. one of them was a man, dark blue hair and eyes, wearing a long white jacket with a blue scarf and yellow accents.

the other one seemed a little closer to his and (y/n)'s age; teal hair in pigtails and eyes of the same color, along with a white shirt and tie that paired up with a black skirt. and lastly, was a lady with long pink hair and dark purple eyes that wore a black outfit with hints of golden.

miku jumped up, "ooh, that must be (y/n)'s friend! they said he was going to come visit today, remember?" kaito perked up in realization, "ah, you're right." luka grinned, "it's great to finally meet you properly, scaramouche. we've heard so much about you from (y/n)."

"you should've told me he was here!" you complained as you shook miku by her shoulders. "it's not fair you're always doing things for me!" you added. miku stammered, "d-dizzy..." rin giggled, "slow down, (y/n). she might puke."

scaramouche glanced at your sekai in awe. he remembers this, your bedroom. he used to have so many playdates here. however, it was broken up into large fragments, and the floor was replaced with an ocean of water that you could walk on. behind the fragments, he could see bubbles that held past memories.

len ran through the water, letting droplets of it land on rin as he laughed. rin shouted, "hey, watch it!" she jumped off of your bed and went to chase him. meiko placed a hand on her hip, "well, there they go."

scaramouche glanced at a very specific bubble. the day he casted you aside and claimed he didn't want to be your friend any longer because you would distract him from studying. he frowned upon watching the tears fill the eyes of nine-year-old you.

"scara, what do you think of it?" you asked with a smile, coming out of nowhere from behind him. one of the bubbles landed in the palm of his hand and he chuckled, "it really is something, huh?" you held up a finger, "while we're here, i'll start explaining a little more about all of this."

scaramouche followed you to a specific part of your room. you showed him your phone, "see this?" he looked at the screen. "ah, that's the same thing i have on my phone too!" scaramouche said, pointing to the untitled song file.

you held your device to your chest, "once an actual song links to it, you'll know that you finally understand your true feelings." scaramouche blinked a few times, "so that means... it's been like that for you for six years now?"

you nodded as a response to his question. "have you left your sekai since?" he asked. you shook your head, "i haven't. but recently, i've met more people around our age that also own sekais. they're a very lively group, so you won't have to worry about me feeling isolated." you smiled and scaramouche's frown deepened.

"still, don't you miss the outside world?" he murmured, attempting to keep his voice quiet. you gave him a solemn grin, "i appreciate you trying but it just won't work, scara. i mean, why should i leave this wonderful haven for that?" you turned to face the entirety of your sekai and giggled every now and then from seeing the twins argue.

scaramouche hummed, "i guess so..."

moving forward, he stayed true to his promise. he visited his sekai daily to attempt at understanding himself, even though he couldn't exactly put his finger on what he was trying to understand. you and the other vocaloids were there to help him, of course.

scaramouche got to make new friends out of it; who knew they would be synthesizers? although right now, his top priority is getting you back at all costs.

"hey, scara, want to go spray paint the alleyway with us?" childe asked, almost jumping up and down with excitement. scaramouche, however, seemed to be in a rush. "sorry, i'm busy today." he said with an uncharacteristic smile as he packed up his things.

sandrone raised a brow, "again? there's literally no way." pantalone spun his pencil in between his fingers with a sigh, "don't tell us that. just say you don't want to come." rosalyne nudged him, "but scaramouche isn't like that. if he didn't want to come he would just straight up say so."

scaramouche smirked, "besides, this is going to be over soon. starting tomorrow, i'll join in on our hangouts again." columbina hummed, "tomorrow? so it actually looks like someone's been a busy boy." arlecchino sarcastically laughed, "you don't possibly think he's seeing someone... right?"

scaramouche jokingly added, "you never know." and with that, he left the classroom.

the end of the month finally made its arrival. he was happy to have met your friends and you again, but in all that time executing a plan, it was disrupted when he realized what his true feelings were, and yours.

scaramouche arrived in his sekai, just like always, and searched for you in every single classroom. when he got to his old homeroom, he entered. you were sitting atop the teacher's desk at the front with a book in your hands.

you looked up upon his entrance with a peaceful smile. "good afternoon, scara. today's the day, hm?" you said as you put aside your book and got off the table. "(y/n), i've realized my true feelings." scaramouche instantly declared with a determined gaze.

your brows raised. "is that so?" you queried, your tone appearing more disappointed than it should have. scaramouche narrowed his eyes, "and i also know that,"

"you lied to me."

your pupils dilated. "how so, scaramouche?" you asked as you brushed your fingers across the surface of the desk, approaching him. scaramouche backed away at first but knew better than to run from you.

"you found out a long time ago, didn't you? your feelings." he said. your gaze shifted elsewhere and he couldn't find a single speck of emotion nor regret in your eyes. "that's true, yes." you replied with no remorse for what you did.

scaramouche clenched his fist. "the untitled song file you showed me was a fake. the song you created from realizing your feelings is young girl a. why did you hide it?" his voice was strained as he fought back from breaking down.

"you always handled things alone and you never asked for help. it's not that you don't want to come back. you can't." scaramouche said and tears finally slipped from his eyes. "because you, (y/n) (l/n), are dead."

scaramouche continued, "you always have been dead, ever since you ran away from home when the both of us were twelve, haven't you? you were never given a sekai from your feelings. you made it on your own command."

you looked at him. "so what if i am dead? what should it matter to you? you don't matter to me, and you never have. it's just like you said when we were kids, right? i'm always following you around and asking you for help, so why shouldn't i do everything myself?"

"you're just like my parents. be more like this, (y/n). be more like them, (y/n). you're embarrassing, (y/n). you're a disappointment, (y/n). i don't think you realized, scaramouche, that i chose this path and i can't turn back now. yes, i want to return to the real world. i want to see my parents no matter how much i loathe them. because even though they'll resent me for my grades, they're the only parental figures i ever had."

you smiled, not even aware of the tears spilling down your face. "it's nice to think that they used to be carefree when i was only five. they didn't care about how i was doing in school back then until i reached the first grade."

scaramouche's shoulders raised up and down with every heave of breath he took. he suddenly took your hands, pulling you towards him as he shouted, "so i'll stay here, (y/n)! i'll stay here with you, i'll leave the world if it means i get to be with you again!"

you mumbled, "oh, scara..." you gingerly wrapped your arms around him as he cried into your shoulder. he gripped at your sleeve, "why didn't you ask for help? you were only twelve. you must have been so scared, all alone in the night without warmth."

even now, he could feel how cold you were.

you laughed, "it's passed now. i'll be fine without you. you'll be fine without me." scaramouche's eyes widened. you whispered in his ear, "goodbye, scaramouche." you crushed his phone in your hand. no song file, no way to the sekai.

the white flash covered the whole of his vision and he shook his head, reaching for your figure and he yelled your name. the world felt like it was spinning around scaramouche as he looked left and right for you, but he was back in his bedroom.

he muttered, "no, no, no," grabbing his phone, the screen was completely cracked and seemed impossible to repair. a few weeks after, scaramouche recieved a new phone in hopes of finding the song file. it wasn't there, and it never would be.

(1) new text from cool kids😵😵😹

childe i wonder how scara's doing:(

sandrone he seemed so off lately, i understand why ei let him take a break from school for awhile.

pantalone do you think it has anything to do with why he was so busy lately?

rosalyne i mean, probably. it's impossible he was seeing someone though, he never gets that beat up about exes.

arlecchino true... do you think we should visit him?

columbina no, i think it's best he gets some rest for now.

arlecchino alright. i'll see you guys in class.

closed

scaramouche felt so burnt out. he laid on his bed with a face void of any emotion as he listened to your song through his earpods; young girl a. the meaning of the song didn't help with how he was dealing with things at the moment.

the police never found your body but came to the conclusion that you died from hypothermia or hunger. to think, a twelve-year-old, all alone as they ran from their home. tears pooled his eyes and they fell down the sides of his face. "i'm sorry, (y/n). i'm sorry you think everyone failed you, including me."

"a new vocaloid made their debut?" he heard a young teenage girl ask her friend as scaramouche waited for the walking sign at the scramble crossing. her friend excitedly replied, "yeah! they look so cool, right? their name's (y/n)!" the girl furrowed her brows, "isn't that the name of the child who went missing years ago?" she mumbled.

scaramouche's shoulders tensed up. "speaking about that, rumors have been going around that this vocaloid is like their ghost 'cause it looks just like them too. creepy, right? it's so cool!" her friend giggled. the girl nervously smiled, "right..."

scaramouche looked downwards and he thought to himself for a few moments. you debuted, huh? i guess the only way i can see you is through your music videos now, scaramouche meant to put it off as a joke yet it made his gut churn even more.

your parents finally moved to a new city, not being able to bare living in the same house their child used to run around freely. scaramouche got back into school three months ago after a good month's rest, and his friends were overjoyed to see he was doing better.

he could only wonder what your life was like now as a mere illusion, shown to everyone for entertainment while they don't know the thoughts that remain in your mind. scaramouche knows what his true feelings are and what the song was that was associated with it.

he truly loved you. goodbye, my danish sweetheart - mitski.

"farewell, (y/n). though our time together was short, i enjoyed every single bittersweet second of it. i'll love you, dead or not, a simple synthesizer or not, human or not, i'll always love you."

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