#greatest introduction u could ever give

[battymommastuff]

The Greatest Show

Batmom x Batman, Batmom x Batfamily

Prompt: While digging through the attic, Dick Grayson and Jason Todd uncover a secret about their adoptive mother. A secret that reveals the true, and dark story of the most loved couple in Gotham City

Part 1 Masterlist

(P/N): Performer Name

!!DISCLAIMER!! - This likely won't be comic accurate (Obviously), but I did draw inspiration from the comics. If you are looking for something accurate, then this fanfic isn't for you.

The rumbling from the red and white tent could be felt from outside. The cheers of the crowd as Haly's circus put on what they felt would be their best show yet. Everything from the elephants standing on their back legs to the clowns hitting each other with bowling pins. You were peeking from the little opening that led backstage. Many of your fellow performers were either stretching in preparation for their performance, or were relaxing after theirs. You were currently waiting alongside your two closest friends, John and Mary Grayson. The acrobatic duo who recently combined their act with yours. The stakes were higher, but it left the crowd in complete awe. You were one of the fire eaters. You were a younger member of the circus, but had quickly become a fan favorite. 

You were beautiful, and highly skilled at your art. Swallowing fire like water, and twirling torches around without burning you or anyone else. The skill you possessed was outstanding, and Haly never let you forget that. He took you in when you needed help the most, and he made you a star. You would forever be in debt to him. 

"Are you ready, (Y/N)?" Mary asked, resting a hand on your shoulder. You jumped then turned towards her. She and John had just finished their stretches and decided to check on you. From the moment you arrived, they took you under their wing. Teaching you the do's and don'ts of the circus as well as giving you a place to sleep so you didn't have to bunk with the others in their crowded space. Though you quickly earned a little tent of your own after your spike in popularity. 

"Yes, I'm alright..." You said, with a small smile, "But what about you? Should you be performing in your condition?" You asked while looking down at Mary's stomach. She was currently one month pregnant, and the entire circus doted over her. Everyone was so excited to have a new member of their family. Whoever this kid was going to be, you just knew you would love them unconditionally. Mary reassured you for the millionth time that she would be alright before she and John were ushered up a small ladder that led to the top of the tent. You, on the other hand, were standing by the curtain, waiting for Haly to announce you. 

"And now...our next performance needs no introduction...you know them...you love them! The Flying Graysons! Featuring our star Fire eater (P/N)!" 

As soon as you heard your name, you ran out. Instantly lighting your torch and twirling it around while taking a sip of alcohol. You spat the liquid at the flame causing it to poof into the air as soon as Mary did a flip in the air and caught John's arms. 

Nothing could ever satisfy that rush in your heart. The thrill of the crowd's reaction to your tricks. The high it gave you was better than any drug. Here you were, twirling two flaming torches in your hand as you watched above you. John and Mary Grayson were flying through the air. No one knew who to watch first. The couple who seemed to defy gravity, or the woman who could eat fire. Even with them in the air and you on the ground, everyone could see the chemistry you had. It's why your combined act never failed. With a big smile, you leaned back while lowering one of the torches towards your mouth. The crowd watched in awe as the fire went into your mouth. You popped your head back up with the extinguished torch in your hand. Tossing it to one of the helpers, you lifted your now free arm in the air while twirling the other torch in your hand. 

John, swooping down picked you up and you were now in the air. An act practiced hundred of times. His legs holding onto the trapeze as you both circled around the tent, the torch never falling from your hand. 

Your act was truly amazing, and it seemed to catch the eye of a certain crowd member. Bruce Wayne. Growing up, he loved to visit the circus with his parents. After their death, he avoided anything to do with it. Now he was back, but under different circumstances. For a while he'd been investigating the circus. He recently found old notes left by his father. The Court of Owls. A secret society of the Gotham elite. Their goal is to rid the city of crime, by any means. He wasn't surprised to know that his father had come in contact with them, but was surprised to see the theory that Haly's circus was a front. The members were training to be potential Talon members. The Court's lethal assassins. The circus always seemed to favor Gotham. Their stop here would last weeks while other stops would last days. Most of their members were young, and always seemed to vanish from the show after a while. He was here to find out the truth, and put a stop to it. At least he hoped he could. It was difficult to fight a conspiracy that his father barely had proof on. 

Despite his goal, he couldn't bring himself to move from his spot. You were gorgeous. He had a genuine smile on his face while watching your act. He's seen fire eaters before, but something about felt different. You didn't seem corrupt or up to no good. You looked as if you truly loved what you were doing. Maybe he could recruit you? Having inside knowledge would be beneficial. 

Your act went on, and you left the circle with loud cheers. Your heart was racing so fast, it felt like you were going to have a heart attack. John and Mary arrived shortly after with large smiles of their own, "You did amazing!" You squealed while hugging them both. You were new to the acrobatic world, but had the best teachers in the world. 

After the show ended and everyone turned in for the night, you were sitting outside of your tent. Your throat is slightly irritated from the alcohol, but nothing too bad. Luckily tomorrow was an off day for the circus. You could rest a little before practice. It was a peaceful night, and you were happy to relax in it. At least until a deep and intimidating voice nearly scared the skin off of you. 

"(Y/N) (L/N)? We need to talk."

><><><><><><><><><><><><><

TAGLIST

@maxinehufflepuffprincess @tayswhp @rainycloud858 @luna-zendra-star @starlets-things @simpfourmarvel @kawaistrawberry21 @js-favnanadoongi @kodzukenmaaa

[lesbianrobin]

hello em i have a request. can u please rate mr harrington's looks/outfits i just feel like u have the best takes and i'd LOVE to know how you'd rank his choices 👀

this is the single greatest ask i’ve ever received. i will be ranking the outfits, not steve’s moral alignment or actions in each scene. in order of appearance:

The Introduction

4/10

hair is tragic

steve copied this entire fit from a mannequin in the ralph lauren polo outlet store

would honestly be a 0/10 except for the obvious valiant effort being put forth by his lower half to resist the sexless curse of khaki pants. the devil (st costuming department) works hard but by god steve harrington (joe keery’s body) works harder

nice brown watch that certainly came from a department store

also gains points for being next to nancy’s anemic librarian fit, thus looking better by comparison

The Rich Bitch

8/10

thank god he ditched the khakis

hair looks much less demonic

it’s a simple look but the sweatshirt rides up when he shotguns the beer

he also gets wet

solid 8 for sluttiness alone

The Whore

10/10

wet

please note that his chest is waxed. keep this in mind.

The Heterosexual

2/10

hair looks like he dipped his head in glue

bold choice with the grey pants. unfortunately that choice was wrong

matching outfits with your comphet girlfriend isn’t as cute as you think it is stevie

you only get points because despite that ungodly pastel stripe pattern the polo’s decently fitted and makes your arm look kinda nice

The Dickhead

3/10

glue head pt. 2

at least the stripes aren’t pastel this time

The Cuck

6/10

hair slightly less glue-y

yet another striped polo is peeking out unfortunately

but! it’s green and green looks good on him

finally wearing jeans like a normal fucking human instead of weird slacks

pivotal moment in steve’s fashion evolution from preppy male model to sexy morally upright king

his morals are stored in the denim

The Final Girl

9/10

an outfit with a character arc to rival steve’s own

pretty fucking good hair if i do say so myself!!

it’s fluffy!

that shit looks like if you touched it it’d be soft... no glue here!

finally not copying from the goddamn l.l. bean catalog

iconic green slut sweatshirt? check! jacket and nikes? check! fucked-up gorgeous face and baseball bat full of rusty nails? check, baby!

looks good on its own OR with some blood on top

overall a very solid look

The Darling Little Drummer Boy

7/10

babe no... please don’t go back to the khakis... they won’t treat you like jeans do...

not quite glue head but not his best

apparently steve owns a single green sweatshirt, a thousand striped polos, and one very precious christmas sweater

almost makes up for prep-related khaki crimes by being really fucking cute

The Simp

8/10

glue head is DEAD

further evidence that steve harrington’s entire closet is just striped polos

this is his fifth unique striped polo

most of these points are for the sunglasses and the hair

actually all of these points are for the sunglasses and the hair

he’s finally let go of the fucking pastels thank jesus

and you can’t see it but he did wear jeans with this fit i just forgot to make sure they were pictured and it’s 4:15 am so i don’t feel like going back to remake this collage

cannot tell if this is a lighter blue version of the jacket he wore three times in s1 or if it IS the jacket he wore three times in s1 and the color grading is just that different

either way he loves jackets and i think that’s very sexy of him

The Intellectual

9/10

i’ve been waiting for this one... turn it up!

literally invented vests

excellent hair

loses a point for unfortunately introducing steve’s SIXTH unique striped fucking polo

i can’t see the collar but i know it’s there i know you’re wearing another fucking polo steve you can’t hide from me

can’t decide if he looks gay or just really preppy but either way he’s got some repression going on

still a very solid look

The Oh No Oh God It Hurts I’m Looking Away I Can’t Watch This

10/10

yes that middle picture is absolutely to show off the texture of his blazer and not at all me making sure that if i have to see his heartbroken little face then you all do too

anyways i Know that blazer cost at least $100 like i Know that shit’s expensive

excellent gorgeous soft-looking hair that someone ought to run their hands through but only people who haven’t dated him for a year while pining after someone else

emotional devastation... but make it unbelievably fucking sexy

stevie baby i know you’re a colorful guy but please wear more black

The Meathead Jock

9/10

aw christ whatever happened to standards?

introduction of the blue nikes <3

god his hair looked fucking good here

could have gained that final point by using tube socks with blue and GREEN stripes to tie together the shoes and the gym uniform :/

shorts could be shorter but are an altogether appropriate and enjoyable length

fun sweatstain to customize the look <3

The (is there a word for victim of bullying?) Serious Athlete

8/10

the yellow stripe was more fun

still cute though

The Sudsy Boy

11/10

wet

suds indicate that he’s washing his hair, presumably with faberge organics. is this why he’s being bullied?

steve brings his faberge organics shampoo and conditioner and his farrah fawcett spray to school with him whenever he has basketball practice

steve either has shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray in his backpack at all times, or he has a separate gym bag that’s mostly haircare products

just need to make sure we all know that

excellent freckle showcase

his chest is still waxed. please, i beg, keep this in mind

one of his strongest looks

The Babysitter

10/10

his most versatile look to date

a different jacket than the one(s) he’s worn before but it still has the same kind of collar. steve found a jacket he liked and bought it in at least three colors

the whole thing fits So fucking nicely! shirt, jacket, jeans... baby boy is TAILORED

return of the white nikes with the red check indicate that they are his fashion nikes, while the blue nikes with the white check are his sport nikes. interesting.

this fit lasts like 48 hours and steve simply looks sexier as time goes on which is a testament to its quality as well as his inherent power

every new accessory elevates his appearance. roses, nail bat, rubber gloves, blood, sweat, band-aids, bandana, goggles... each element complements the look in its own way!

an overall win

The Chauffeur

8/10

we can’t really see the whole fit but he’s not wearing a striped polo so i’m calling it a win regardless of what’s on his bottom half

cannot give him a 10/10 though because he might be wearing khakis

red is such a nice color on him when it’s not just from his blood

i lied when i said he should wear more black he should wear more colors

that plain sweater absolutely cost $85 or more

hair looks very nice and soft

excellent look!

The Sailor Man

9/10

very precious

absolutely the best hair i’ve ever seen

baby boy got highlights for his hot girl summer!

bright colors make his very red lips pop

shorts could be shorter

love the little accents! especially the white pockets and belt

excellent color coordination on steve’s part with the blue sneakers (notably different than his s2 blue basketball nikes) and the red bruising/blood

i hope you remembered that steve’s chest was waxed. as you can see his chest is now unwaxed. some change between s2 and s3 drove this decision, presumably either his breakup with nancy or the fact that he no longer showers in front of other guys at school. up to your interpretation

shock blanket at the very end is a nice touch so we don’t forget he’s traumatized

The Drowned Rat/The Man Overboard

10/10

wet

shorts could be shorter

the decision to purchase and wear a hoodless raincoat is absolutely ridiculous and stupid

however it is also very steve harrington and i value self-expression

The Chick Magnet/The Flaming Homosexual

100/10

what can i even say about this fit?

the absolute best pants he’s worn thus far. amazing fit, excellent classic wash. i say this as a former american eagle outfitters associate and the winner of my freshman year dorm’s “best at folding jeans” award

manages to make blue jeans with a half-blue denim vest work effortlessly

bold primary colors make him stand out without being too gaudy

excellent pairing of t-shirt with simple stripes and vest with simple color blocking to create a complex yet cohesive and flattering look

simple brown belt gives the look a put-together yet down-to-earth vibe

hair has only gotten better

still wearing that same brown watch that he’s had since the introduction

this man looks like he waxes his chest

this is steve in his final form

thank you for your time

[melisa-may-taylor72]

ROGER TAYLOR: THE QUEEN'S SOLOIST- PELO MAGAZINE-  JULY, 1981

As a group, QUEEN has accomplished almost everything that a rock band can dream: big international tours always crowned by success, exploration and conquest of new territories, several albums number one in sales, double live album, conceptual album, soundtrack of a film. And now they will complete one of the few missing achievements:  A solo album. The first to set foot in these waters was Roger Taylor, the drummer.

Although Roger Taylor began his musical career as a teenager, when he wanted to become the best drummer in the world, he soon realized that it was going to be difficult for him to reach those heights, and changed his goal for that of knowing success through Queen. However, the years passed, there were fewer challenges to accept, and then now the thoughtful and coherent Taylor decided to make "Fun In Space", his first solo album (which promises to be a blast), revolving around the subject of science fiction, which has always fascinated him. Two years ago he started working on this project, in Queen's studios in Montreux, Switzerland, gathering all the material and all the ideas that did not fit within the musical spectrum of the band, but obviously, were going to serve him in this work outside the band.

FUN IN SPACE

When he began to think about this project, Taylor had doubts about whether or not his bandmates would accept his need to make a solo album, and whether or not they would like the result. Today, after the album's initial success, everyone seems to be happy with Taylor and his work; even he himself, plans to start with another solo album as soon as the recording of Queen's next work, in this month, is finished.

Taylor composed, played and arranged his entire disco-galactic experience. "Fun In Space" reflects, from beginning to end, all of Taylor's fascination with the cosmic and the ethereal, which he skillfully mixes with rock. Technically, it's an impressive achievement, but overall the album gives the impression of being, seen as a whole, a toy of a rich man who has nothing else to do 😠😠😠😠😠. It lacks a little feeling, is lyrically lazy, androids abound. On the inside of the cover, Taylor says: "I like it. If you don't like it, I'm sorry." 😛There are really nice parts, like the acoustic introduction to "My Country" or the riffs to "Let's Get Crazy", but, again, something is missing. There's no doubt about Taylor's talent, which is perfectly appreciated within Queen, and there's no doubt that most of the band's fans will like this album either. But,... But maybe Taylor's opinions are better than the critics. (They sure are!!!)😏😏😏😏

INFINITE HORIZONS

-Is there a particular reason why you chose this subject as the core of your first solo album?

Yes, I've always liked the spatial, the cosmic, I've always been attracted to it, ever since I was a kid. I have tons of books on the subject at home. Graphically and imaginatively, it's a very strong subject, with infinite horizons. In this field there is everything to invent, to say, to create, and we have to take advantage of it while we are on time. Another reason why I chose a spatial topic is that I wanted to start from something totally distant and different from Queen, to make the thing varied.

-What did the others say about the finished album?

Well, when I announced them that I was going to do a solo album, Freddie was the first to react, and he said: "From now on I tell you that if it's a piece of crap I'll tell you without any consideration". But finally everyone liked it, I even think they like it a lot more than I expected. I don't think they have any reason to be upset that I want to diversify a bit, because they have to know that just because I make a solo album doesn't mean that I want to separate myself from Queen or that I'm not happy with the work with the band. Sometimes you just want to do something different.

Did you ever think of doing a solo tour playing your album live?

No, not at all, it wouldn't make the slightest sense. This album was, for me, a bit like an exercise, a way to show people that drummers can do other things besides drumming.

Do you think this album could be a consequence of feeling frustrated for not being the main figure of the band?

I don't know, I haven't thought about it... Yeah, I guess there must be some of that, to some extent. But I feel good and satisfied with my role within the band. My professional life is totally dedicated to Queen. This album I made it, more than anything, to give it a bit of free rein to my personality, to liberate me a little in an non-group aspect. There seems to be a kind of tendency for drummers to make solo albums nowadays: Phill Collins has just made one, Nick Mason, from Pink Floyd, is bringing out his...

What do you think of yourself as a drummer?

When I started playing I wanted to be the best drummer in the world, but when I heard John Bonham and Buddy Rich, I realized that this aspiration didn't make the slightest sense on my part. I don't think I can expect so much from my technical skills. Besides, I don't like drum solos anymore; I think the era of the drummer's shining in rock is over and over a long time ago.

But then what is your professional goal? To be a well-known drummer and nothing else?

No. What happens is that the story of pretending to be an excellent drummer no longer attracts me. I'm part of a band; no more, no less. That's it, and that's enough for me. For me, the most important thing is not to get the first place in the world as a drummer, but to reach to people. That's what I'm most interested in right now, and that's what I'm trying to achieve.

THE FUTURE SOLOIST

Do you think being a great drummer and reaching out to people are opposites?

Not opposite, but different. I don't criticize those who are great drummers, they are exceptional musicians. There are very few drummers who reached a truly excellent level, and they did it because they gave the drumming a new and extraordinary dimension. John Bonham was the greatest rock drummer of all time. And, of course, so was Keith Moon.

Do you think the success of your album is or will be due to, basic and mainly, the fact that you are a member of Queen, or do you think your own name will also sell too?

It's very likely that there going to be a certain number of albums sold because I did it, Roger Taylor, Queen member, or not. I think the name weighs in either case. But you have to remember that the individual parts of a band are not equal to the unit, to the total result. However, I think there will be a lot of people who will buy the album itself, because they like it, regardless of my name and the band I belong to. In general, people don't just buy records; they buy what they want.

Do you plan to continue making solo albums in the future?

It's very likely that if I have more ideas, things that interest me and I like, I'll make another solo album. But it's not certain at the moment. Anyway, I want it to be very clear that for me Queen will always occupy the first place.

@natromanxoff, @mephisto92, @moviestorian, @x5vale, @39-brian, @onegoldenglance, @crosmopolitan, @an-abyss-called-life, @his-majesty-king-mercury, @i-live-for-queen, @brian-39-may, @toomuchlove-willkillyou, @brimaymay, @sail-away-sweet-sister, @drummerqueenrmt, @old-fashioned-roger-boy, @briianmaay, @l-over-bo-y, @inui-mycroft, @deacytits, @iminlovewithrogscar, @drowseoftaylor, @brianmayislongaway, @balticlover, @astrophysicist-guitar-god, @miez-lakatz, @brianmayoucease, @jesus-in-a-life-boat, @aslongasthereismusic, @roger-taylors-car, @silapril, @sherrifanciesfriskyfreddie, @tenderbri, @brianmydear, @thosequeenboys, @millionairewaltz-carpediem, @painandpleasure86, @bribrifrenchfry, @xlucylennonx, @a-night-at-the-abbey-road, @inthedayswhenlandswerefew, @madformeddowstaylor, @queenrogertaylorfan, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @queen-for-life, @rethought, @darlinginnuendo, @mymakeupmaybeflaking, @old-but-still-a-child, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @warriorteam1924, @funnydressesweirdhairanddance, @painkiller80, @thefanhuman13, @yourtieddownmother, @hgmercury39, @brimi-stardust, @thefairyfellermercury, @retroromantics, @sailawaysweetbrimi, @sophiaintheskywithdiamonds, @candelataylor, @holybrianmaywritingbear, @lydiannode, @39-yellow-daffodils, @ure-gonna-loveme-when-u-seeme, @kaykaybeachgirl, @sensitivedna921, @rhysjoejoshtomfarisblog @redspecialandclogsandcurls, @briansrainbowsocks, @delilahmay39, @ohmybribri, @bless-the-queen, @infunitehearbeat​

(Original Material)

[butterbeeryuta]

johnny as your boyfriend; radio!au

a/n: thIS was requested a looooooong time ago, and i am so sorry that i only wrote this now. My mocks are finally done, and they actually went pretty well, so i hope my results will match whatever i am claiming skdjkjd. This headcanon was really fun to write, and it was overall just adorable oof alright, imma head to over to my next oneshot now. Hope all of you have a great day.

Okay so ya’ll are in uniVersity (as expected because I am writing this)

You met johnny 2 years ago when you were freshman looking for a job on campus cause um,,, college is a bitch

And you saw this uni radio show ‘Night Night’ which went live every wednesday at 9 in the evening

You honestly had no idea what they talked about since you’ve never listened to one

Despite the fact that your roommate Sicheng always talks about it and claims how great it is

BUT ANYWAY

You always enjoyed radio shows in general, and saw that they were hiring for another radio show personality

HMMmmMmmmM i wonDEr wheRe tHIS Is gOInG

You were one intellect my dear; you were studying political science at Konkuk University, meaning, you were one opinionated ass individual

But, you also had your crack side acCording to ur roommate

You fucking chased Sicheng around with those incense sticks cause you couldn’t find your go-to rolling pin to scare the shit out of him for eating your pack of strawberries

I swear the two of you are great friends ya’ll just show love to each other in quite a unique way

ANYWAYS

YeAH so you went to ask for the job cause you need money to buy a safe for your precious strawberries

You brought whatever requirements they asked for, and nyyOoooOOooooOOOOnged your way over there

It was a pretty old building, or radio station per se. not that it was bad or anything but, it isn’t exactly a place you would like to step into

Going up the stairs, you just saw a really TALL and attractive guy clearing out a few things in the booth. Your guess was that he was also probably new to this and whoever lent him the place didn’t exactly clean up the place.

With whatever courage you had in yourself

Or i guess how much sugar you consumed this morning cause you casually just walked it without contacting the guy

‘Uh... hello?’

HE JUMPED, whatever shit he was holding? Yeah it dropped

Which caused you to jump too, not expecting the huge ass pretty guy to have that big of a reaction

he looked over to you, surprised to see a person in the radio station because um,,, nobody ever goes there except for him

‘Hello to you too??? uhhh, not meaning to be rude or anything but, why are you here? Are you lost?’ He asks, looking extremely concerned

You just shook your head and deadass told him that there was a job offer for another radio show personality, and he looked eveN more concerned

Sorta like a ‘are u fucking serious’ face

‘Oh! Right. That job has been open for about a year now so I didn’t expect anyone to come at all...’

OHHhhHhh????????

Well,,,, i guess you have a better chance of getting the job?

‘Well.... do i get a higher chance of being accepted then for being the first to show up? You ask, unsure if whatever you said made sense, or was even socially acceptable

Imagine going to a job interview being like: ‘so i saw ur job offer, and since i actually showed up, I’m accepted right?’

Babe i dont think it works like that, but let’s continue

Johnny honestly had nothing to say against you though. You were right in a sense that you had no competition since you were the only one that actually came to apply. At the same time, he wanted the quality of the show to still be good even if there was a limited audience

‘Higher chance is indeed right. But tell me, uhh, what’s your name again?’

‘I actually never introduced myself, but it’s _______’

‘I’m Johnny by the way. So _______, why do you want to be a radio show host for Konkuk University?’

you had two ways to answer this question: (1) be blatantly honest that you really need the money, and talking to earn cash seems pretty great in your opinion or (2) repeat whatever the fuck sicheng has told you about the show

And of course, you were going with the first option

‘i honestly need the money because college is a bitch. And also talking and having discussions is a pretty fun and interesting method to get some cash in. Also because my roommate loves your show and why not ruin it for him by including me in it’

Babe

BABE SKDJKSDJKDSJKSDJSKDJKSDJ

Johnny actually wanted to accept you immediately. I mean for starters, he found you pretty adorable marching up to the radio station determined to get the job. And not only that, you were quite the talker, which is something that could spike up the show since it was just always johnny speaking

And also because he was feeling quite lonely but he would never admit that

‘Alright _____, meet me this friday to talk about next week’s segment’

OOFT

And let me tell you, tall boi’s assumptions were right. During your first show together, the two of you decided to talk about the book ‘1984’ by george orwell and although it may sound boring on a superficial level, yOU made it sound pretty interesting and johnny was actually just laughing the entire time

You and johnny just clicked in an instant, and your way of describing things made ‘Night Night’ known by the students

Nobody could ever forget your infamous line about the book: ‘george orwell’s sexual frustration is honestly so transparent in the book; all he needed was to get his dick wet then maybe he wouldn’t have let julia and winston be caught by the thoughtpolice.’

And things like this happened every wednesday. The pattern of your radio show just included you being you, and johnny trying to make shit be on track

The two of you were doing it for a very long time now, and back to toDAY where ya’ll have been doing it for two years, well... it would be a lie to say you hadn’t developed feelings for johnny

of course the man was beautiful and well-built. But his personality and laugh? Yeah sicheng should’ve warned you about that.

He is probably one of the most open-minded person in the world, and he knows a bit about everything, making him so well-rounded. And and and he’s to kind???

If you tell him that you can’t make it to the radio show, he says it’s okay and even gives you snacks the moment you come back and he just makes you so soft in general i—

Meanwhile for johnny, damn is he in love with you

Over the past 2 years, you definitely helped him open up more. With the way you speak along with your galaxy brain, he couldn’t help but fall for you? You were intelligent, you had your own mind, and being friendly and funny in general is something johnny really liked about you

The time when he realised he loves you was when you curled yourself up against the seat while you were discussing about what to talk about next week, and you just fell asleep. He noticed how soft and peaceful you looked, and that he would want to see you like this on a daily basis

Shit this is getting me all soft i wasnt planning on this nsndnsndnd

So yeaHHHHH this week’s segment, you guys were talking about the spanish conquest of mexico and peru woohoooo

AND you were very excited for this because this was one of your (my) favourite topics you learnt during your time in high school

‘OKAY, good evening everyone I am ______D,’

‘And I am JohnD, and welcome to’

‘Night Night. Oof, we’re getting better at our introductions aren’t we JohnD?’

‘Nope, you just learned how to say it without cringing’

‘Touché’ and ya’ll began your discussion. And things actually got pretty interesting.

‘So _____ you’re telling me that it was Cortes’ leadership that allowed the Spanish to successfully take over Mexico?’ He asks you in disbelief.

‘No you tall dumbfuck, it’s one of the attributes that led them to succeed. Both Cortes and Pizarro had disease on their side and better weapons, so of course they’d win. I just wanted to include leadership as i don’t know, to see the defeat of the aztecs from a new lens?’ You respond, deadass looking at johnny in the eye

‘Well, i don’t think i can argue with that, mainly because i am too scared too. That is it for today, but before we end this, i would like to add one more thing.’ Johnny says, which took you by surprise

huHhh?

You looked confused, in fact, you were confused.

What the fuck was going on?

‘This academic year is ending, and this so happens to be my last year here at Konkuk University...’

Oh shit

Your eyes softened at his words, just realising now that johnny was two years older than you, and yeah, he’s graduating this year

‘... this year has honestly been one of the greatest years here at Konkuk, but for me, I think of my my most memorable memories here was when ______D entered the station and giving me a huge fright’

You laughed a little, remembering how much you scared the man

‘Taking this opportunity, ______D, I want to ask you something’

Shit

Shit

Shit

BRUHHHHHHHHH

‘I just want to congratulate you and thank you for joining “Night Night.” You made the show livelier and massively increased the viewer rate with that big brain of yours—‘

‘I prefer the term galaxy brain’

‘—yes, galaxy brain. I hope that you can continue this radio show, and maybe recruit someone else while i’m out in the world of disgusting adults. So yes, thank you ______. And because we won’t be colleagues in a bit, will you be my girl/boyfriend?’

You were initially teary eyed, buT yEET those tears out biTCH what????

You wanted to say yes, bUt how?????

Do you just nod at him and go ‘ye,’ or do you like, confess?

You felt weird in the stomach. Not that you can exactly do 459343948 cartwheels in one go, but that’s exactly what your stomach was doing. If you were to speak, you could have vomited.

Idk what happened to you, but you took off your headphones, and went to the tall boy and just hugged the shit out of him cause umm,,,, SAME????

And johnny wasn’t sure what that exactly meant so he just hugged you back, bringing you to his lap and holding you tight against him cause honestly, when will he be able to do this to a person he genuinely loves

There was a moment of silence of you two just holding each other, until you realised you were still live with lord knows how many people were listening.

‘U-um, yeah Johnny, I w-will gladly be yours—‘

‘_____ I love you’

OKAY RETRIEVE THOSE TEARS BISH YOU CRYING NOW TF

You sorta just placed your head on the crook of his neck, quietly whispering to him

‘I can’t believe I love your tall ass too...’

‘SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME TOO!’

[wolfram-kun]

Hi! I am currently trying to convince my friends why Shiho and Shinichi should end up together and I find it hard because I feel like it's just natural for two people who understand each other so well to end up together but my friends don't see what I mean. This makes me curious about others' perspective too, what is your reason for shipping them? Thanks!

I’m very sorry it took so long to answer this! Hm, let’s see…why I ship these two…

The short version is, much like you, I guess, I enjoy their interactions, and the way the anime (I’ve never read the manga entirely, just bits and pieces) shows the progression of their relationship and the nature of that relationship e.g. their complicity when solving cases, their instant synchronicity.

End of short version...

Okay, hopefully this will be the only time I have to make the tedious ShinRan vs. ShinShi/CoAi argument, I mean most people find trashing on one ship the main justification for shipping the other, well that’s not going to be me because for a good chunk of two decades I’d shipped ShinRan, and probably I still sort of do, It’s just not what I “prefer” right now.

For a good part of the first half of the series, the anime did a good job at getting me invested on that couple all on its own but as of late, even after Ep928, it feels like the main reason why those two are now an official couple is because of the ‘childhood friends-to-lovers’ trope and nothing more. I’m only speaking for myself here, but my perspective on the characters’ relationships have been changing with the years and it’s just that the inevitability of ShinRan happening despite anything and everything kind of makes it boring and takes some of my investment from it, whereas Shinichi and Shiho – the only other female character I see him getting an interest on, non-canonically speaking – have the potential to be a more interesting/challenging pair due to the unpredictable shift in their relationship’s nature, because ShinShi happening is something no one would see coming…yet upon Haibara’s introduction, the anime gives (or at least used to, anyway) little moments that could give room to "possibility".

That aside, there is a shallow reason I would like Haibara to end up with Shinichi and that’s the fact of her character being voiced by Megumi-freaking-Hayashibara! I have a tendency to like certain characters because of their voices and I’m extremely weak for Megumi’s, especially the kind of voice she provides for characters such as Haibara (another example would be Anna from the Shaman King anime, but I digress^^u). So, I’d naturally want for her whatever she may want for herself and once upon a time that used to be to get Shinichi’s attention, so to speak. I could say she wanted to get together with him but she never pondered on that specifically. It always struck me as her just wanting her feelings to be acknowledged regardless of being returned or not.

That’s my view mainly from the Haibara-angle, as for Shinichi? I really think the guy needs someone like her, that can understand him in every level. Throughout the series Haibara’s done fairly good work trying to keep him grounded, always resorting to reason when making him see the recklessness of his actions. Yet, she goes against her better judgment to aid him on situations that are beneficial only to him, despite it could have dangerous consequences for everyone else involved if he messes up.

It goes to show that although she’s apprehensive to him going briefly back to his real body, she doesn’t dismiss that which is most important to him.

On the other hand Conan has a similar effect on her when pushing her to certain actions that would result in her overcoming a certain fear.

Also, ever since the Bus Hijacking Case, Conan’s righteousness (which she  admires, btw) has gradually been rubbing off on her and become the main  force for her wanting to take control of her fate and stop running from her demons. And it is through him – and subsequently the Detective Boys – that she gets a  second chance at a normal childhood, which turns her life for the better.

On another note, their banter is always fun to watch and whenever they tease one another it brings out their mutual understanding of each other. I think what I’m trying to say, what attracts me the most about them is the level of rapport they share and how it comes effortlessly, their gazes meeting (sometimes that’s not even the case, and still they know what the other’s thinking!), or their   matching smiles.

There are also specific actions they take for the other’s sake that simply pull me in. In Shinichi’s case, I just mentioned the Bus Hijacking episode: we know the crazy lengths he’s willing to go to protect those he cares about, but none of those occasions had such an impact on me as Conan grabbing Haibara and jumping through the glass seconds before the bomb goes off...

...moreover, he rubs his own blood on to her just so she can get away as fast as possible from whom,  at the time, they didn’t know was Vermouth and ensure she was safe. I  mean, covering someone with your blood just to ensure their safety? That is HARDCORE!

The defining moment on Haibara’s part for me, would be close to the end of the 2.5 hours Special “Head-to-Head Match with the Black Organization”: Haibara’s real confrontation with Vermouth…in one of the most intricate cases yet, Vermouth is finally revealed as been posing as Dr. Araide. I still remember the first time I saw that episode and I spent the next hour taking it all in. Lots of faces were unmasked on that one, literally and metaphorically, but if there’s a moment that stops my breathing whenever I see it is Haibara getting out of the cab, freezing in terror at the sight Vermouth. She’s visibly shaking but steels herself when she sees Conan and she just runs towards him.

You could say she’s taking a reckless risk (something not unheard of for Conan), but I see it as her finally facing her greatest fear (not counting Gin here) and taking charge in doing so – not in small part due to his influence either, mind you.

Sure, her showing up foils Shinichi's efforts to capture Vermouth in the end but that wouldn’t have been the case had they previously discussed the situation. It’s her fault as much as ‘their’ fault. I’m being realistic, they may understand each other all the time, but they don’t trust each other all the time. Their relationship is not perfect and I get that, I think it gives room to growth, something for them to work on, which they would manage together if given the chance.

Still, although they may keep things from each other, I have no doubt that when push comes to shove there’s no one they would rely on more.

Most examples like these are from the movies, which may not be canon to some, but neither is CoAi/ShinShi so, my point still stands XD

My attachment to this ship is the same as an on-and-off relationship, I like them one year, I might not the next, but to me they make sense, and I just enjoy them together.

Come to think of it, as impossible as them becoming a couple is, there’s always a “something” that pulls me back in and that’s amusing to me. Considering how dull things can get sometimes in life, I simply don’t take it for granted :)

Whoah, that took a while to put together lol A while back, you thanked me for taking your question seriously, well, since you took the interest and time to even ask in the first place, I couldn’t have responded in any other way^^

[coolabed-films]

who are your favorite Community character(s)? ships? episodes? feel free to use this as an excuse to talk about anything Community-related that you want to talk about!

thank you so much for this ask but you don't know what you've done,,, the community brainrot I have is truly unmatched I could ramble about it for hours hdkfkg

My favourite characters have got to be the golden trio of Troy/Annie/Abed (with Troy being my favourite if I had to choose) and I really do think a huge reason for that is the sense of family and comfort they all have with each other. Like obviously I LOVE Jeff and Britta (I am a proud member of the Britta Perry Deserves Better Society) but their age and experience makes them very selfish and nihilistic in comparison to the really sweet optimism trobedison all have. And god TROY!! like what if I was a socially isolated neurodiverse college student who uses film/TV to understand and cope with reality and you joined a Spanish study group with me where we became best friends and you gave me all the love and affection I could ever dream of 😳😳 ahaha jk... unless?? I love Abed and Annie because of the Projection but Troy is like the best friend I wish I had!! I am willfully ignoring geothermal escapism rn please and thank u 😌

Also I always have to s/o to Shirley because I am also a proud member of the Shirley Barnes Deserves Better Society and if I don't give her the respect she deserves who will! Narratively she absolutely got fucked over (Repilot what's ur address I just wanna talk) but she still manages to be a great character despite that. Yvette is so good in the role comedically and emotionally and it makes her a really fun character to watch despite the fact that she's bogged down by the fact that she's conventionally quite boring (a conservative Christian housewife). The fact that we actually get some Shirley development is one of the best parts of season 5 imo (again not including Repilot H*rm*n pick up the phone).

With shipping I'm pretty chill with most pairings because the show really does make it so almost any relationship could happen and it would fit- like I will die on the lesbiannie hill but abedison and even troy/annie (do they have a ship name?) are very cute and I'd have been chill if they got together on the show. Also one-sided Annie/Frankie and Brittannie >>>

I mean I even have a soft spot for Deanjeff which is def not something I'd have said the first time I watched lol. The only ships I'm not a fan of are j/a and pierce/anyone for very obvious reasons.

The pairings I actively ship though are (to the surprise of no one!) jeffbritta and trobed. It has all been said before but Troy and Abed literally complete each other and they are the greatest and most tragic lovestory of all time!! God! Honestly I feel similarly about Jeffbritta- they make each other better, you know? They truly understand each other on a level the other members of the group cannot and the penultimate episode of season five showcases it so well. It's such a small scene but when they agree to get married it's really one of my favourites because it's so small but so perfectly them. They're also bi solidarity so 💆‍♀️

There's a great fic called Introduction to Federal Investigation by Scioscribe and dare I say it,,,, Britta/ATF guy rights.

For everyone's sake I will not be going into detailed explanations of why I love them but some (definitely not all lol) of my favourite episodes are:

Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas (the medium switch! the use of genre to explore a character in the way only community can! the christmas pterodactyl!)

Intermediate Documentary Filmaking/Documentary Filmmaking: Redux (some of the funniest episodes- LeVar Burton, Jeff Winger's Dumb Gay Dad, the "to meet different people" bit, Jeff as the dean, all simply *chef's kiss*)

Studies in Modern Movement (trobedison. kiss from a rose. jesus loves marijuana. yes ❤️)

Queer Studies and Advanced Waxing (Community exploring the dean's sexuality shouldn't make me as feral as it does. and yet!! Gay dean is great, I love the karate kid b plot, and they actually Made Points about the way hets treat gay rep. I adore this episode)

I'm sorry this was so long lmfao 😭 I would do a readmore option but I'm on mobile and have absolutely no clue how. Thank you for the ask!! <3

[elaphaemourra]

🖊 + Any of them ~

Hooooo this is a fckn, You Have Given Me Too Much Power. I have So Many Words.

Gonna be real tho, this is gonna be a Big Thing about Mita bc I have a fckn AU where he's the Outlander and I have some FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. Bc he's part of my main continuity as an adjacent player to the IA and BH storylines, sharing agent crew/other random shit with Phaeyla for the IA stuff (he got Vector and Scorpio, Phae got the rest) and serving as Another sidequest generator for Jeni in the BH line (I give Jeni so many nerds to keep track of whoops).

(THIS IS ALREADY LONG, AND I'M ABOUT 8 PARAGRAPHS IN, SO IT'S GETTING A READ MORE WHILE I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT)

Uh, TL;DR, Mita is handling being Commander about This Well:

OK SO in NORMAL canon he goes with Lana and Koth to go fetch the Outlander (who I decided is actually one of Zal's apprentices, a Voss named Thera-nal, until Zal fckn goes 'no fuck this. I have ghost experience. Gimme the emperor u don't have to deal with this urself' and steals Valk from her bc Good Inquisidad Takes On The Oof Ghost For His Kid) and then gets fckn Ditched on Zakuul. Like straight up that whole 'get the outlander on the ship, Vaylin is 3 meters away FUCK FUCK FUCK' thing, he pushes Thera-nal on and then the ship takes off. Without him. And he does a dive off the platform bc he's like 'nah' @ Vaylin and knows he can survive a Really Long Fall. It's all very dramatic, very ciffhangery. I'm still writing the next chapter beyond that in Left Behind.

He ends up fckn, roughing it on Zakuul, gets himself a sort-of job posing as an assassination droid in a gladiator ring (bc i'm a NERD for gladiator shit), grows up, gains some confidence. Knife baby gets a grow up and a glow up. It's awesome.

BUT. BUT I HAVE AN AU WHERE HE'S THE OUTLANDER. AND IT'S AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF WHY HE SHOULD NEVER BE IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING EVER.

He and Lana don't like each other. It's a Thing. They can put their differences aside for the sake of Professionalism or when they give each other the 'r u seeing this shit' Look when someone else is being Stupid in both their opinions, but they don't like each other (this is true in the normal canon as well, they're very antagonistic to each other, it's a little silly how petty it is but it's Fun). Despite this, and their tendencies to piss each other off on purpose, Mita thinks she's the most tolerable of the initial Pile of People. The Conflict between Koth and Senya was A Lot for him to handle, and he doesn't do Leadership Positions very well. About an hour after they picked Senya up, he was already out of patience.

The constant arguing got to him SO FAST, it ran him out of patience and Fucks so quickly, he started getting real snippy. By the time they got to asylum he was throwing around threats to people who couldn't keep their Shit to themselves. He TRIED to do good things, to pull together enough patience and good will to be Benevolent in his actions, but as his patience fell apart, so did basically everything else good. Mita getting Tora was a whole Thing where he did the Nice Thing by making her apologize to Vik and when she talked back he turned around and drew a knife on her, told her to keep her mouth shut if she was going to complain because he WOULD kill her, and he DIDN'T need an engineer/mechanic THAT much. That he'd use her corpse as payment for the next batch of cargo, which, MITA. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.

He started falling into MUCH older patterns of thinking, refusing to take any action that was Any risk to himself. It's a thought process he had before he got shoved full of implants, before he realized that he could be a Better Person and started being a rebellious little shit in Intelligence and taking risks that helped Other People instead of just being single-mindedly focused on his own self-preservation.

He's falling back into it, which is BRUTAL because he's making more and more devastating choices, and where he saved people by shutting down that reactor on the First blip of Zakuul, before he ran out of Patience and Fear, and he did Good Lightsided Things to Help People, he just went off with Kaliyo to blow the absolute shit out of that whole thing, and where he used to be like 'shit, we need to make things Better', now he's started talking about Vengeance. Which uh. Does me a Concern about Knife Baby.

Basically none of the advisors actually LIKE him. At best, Senya and him have a solid enough mutual understanding of Work Vs Free Time between them, but she's also Pissed that he keeps taking the Big Death Options and fucking over her citizens. Theron's basically constantly giving him the Pensive Side-Eye because of how consistently Freaky Mita has become. Their first interaction was Prickly at best, and Mita hasn't gained any more patience.

Ofc, Mita and Lana just Don't get along, but they at least vibe on the level of 'i am So Done with everyone here' and she's pulled him aside more than once to get him to cool off a little. Though mostly she pawned him off on HK, when the droid was still aroujd, so she's at least Done Something for his mental state, and he liked that droid enough for talking with him being Relaxing. Kind of.

He's a volatile Commander who Can and Will pull people who irritate him aside to threaten them with mortal or bodily harm, or yeet a datapad at the wall for that Big Sound, or just punch a wall while he's got gauntlets on, to get everyone to Shut Up and Pay Attention so he can yell at them for not keeping their Interpersonal Shit out of the war room and out of his presence. He's basically single-handedly driving the Alliance into the ground, driving it forwards through pure force of will and by making people scared enough to work together without Complaining, hoping that Arcann will give before he or the Alliance do.

He's refused every offer by Valkorion for Everything, and right now that's his saving grace.

Koth bounced, furious with Mita and Kaliyo's 'let's blow this bitch up' thing, and Mita's little circle of people he Actually Likes has uh, maybe Not the greatest influences among them. His inner circle is Kaliyo, Scorpio, Tora (which surprised me, but they are Remarkably chill with each other for people whose introduction was Humiliation and Death Threats, like, a 'they'd vibe and drink in a dark corner together' sort of deal), and Even More Surprising, Aric Jorgan.

Completely separate from the Alliance Advisory Squad, Jorgan seems to be REALLY good for Mita. He's just kinda, it's Working Out. Mita's doing Nicer Shit when Jorgan's around. I'm not sure if it's just, the lack of Shit-Stirrers, the comfort and familiarity of military company, Jorgan's 'ur not the boss of me' thing back in the swamps on Zakuul, or what. But Mita's doing Good Shit when that rad cat man's around. Hell, it might be that he just doesn't want to disappoint his new friend. But like, they're actually a STELLAR team friendship-wise. Mita's actually Relaxed enough to get shit done efficiently, do LIGHTSIDED SHIT, and he basically ONLY brings Jorgan when he goes raiding star fortresses. Kaliyo and Scorpio are higher up on Mita's 'would send out alone' list, but only because he worked with Kaliyo when he and Phaeyla got assigned to each other, and Scorpio was HIS team member.

Even with that though, Mita's reputation among Alliance personnel isn't a Kind one. He's terrifying, volatile and quick to snap at anyone and everyone who gets on his nerves. People avoid him in the halls unless they Absolutely Need Him, and there's ABSOLUTELY a network of people you can ask as a 'where's the Commander now' if you really need to spend the day Avoiding Him.

He's also leaned Heavily into the aesthetic of Big Scary. Dressed like a Sith all in black and white and grey (and a Republic insignia on his belt just for the added cognitive dissonance that gives him), with a Delightfully Menacing Helmet that makes him nigh unreadable. The voice modulation is something he Knows how to use to make himself more intimidating, and he knows how to hold himself to make Pointed Silence into something that can cause fear. He really leaned into that 'scaring people into working for you' thing, which isn't sustainable, and he KNOWS it isn't, but he's hoping to get shit done fast enough that it won't MATTER how unsustainable that type of leadership is.

He's Stressed and Tired and Angry, and he's going down a deep dark hole. He needs to be fckn, sat down and Confronted about where he's going because he MADE that choice to be better, on BALMORRA. It cost him his free will, his autonomy, and his identity. He was PHYSICALLY unable to say his own name without his upper body motor function locking up, for a long time, because it was part of the programming of his implants. He gave Everything up to be Better, and it took so much to get those things back, and now he's squandering it all by falling back into who he used to be.

He needs some Time to Chill The Fuck Out, an Intervention for what he's doing with himself, and a goddam nap.

Knife Baby is Stressed Out. He's the Team Medic. He was never designed to be In Charge, and it took its toll Very Quickly, and it's devolved into something Brutal and Unsustainable. Which is why this is an AU, and why my Canon Commander for the timeline is Zal.

Zal's a good leader, good under pressure, patient and fair almost to a fault, and a good person.

Mita can't handle the strain, and he KNOWS it. But he's doing it anyways, and will drag the people around him down with him if it means he'll win in the end. And in the mean time, he's frustrated, volatile, and Not Very Fun To Be Around.

[youdonknowaboutme]

First, There’s Sierra. Then, There’s Bash.

Roller Derby has been my dream since I was fifteen years old. I saw “Whip It” in 2009 and fell in love. I always said that if there’s one thing I regret, it’s not starting sooner. I thought about that for a moment and realized that things fell into place exactly when they were supposed to. Every derby player I know will tell you that it came into their lives when they needed it the most. I believe in this theory wholeheartedly. This beautiful, all-inclusive sport saved my soul.

It took a broken person,

Turned her into a beast,

And slapped her with the name “Bash.”

My given name is Sierra. My name was almost Savannah until parents heard the name Sierra being thrown around in a Burger King. My derby name is Khloe KarBash-u-in, but my teammates call me “Bash.” My derby name is more than just a name on the back of my jersey. 

I knew I was meant for this when going through old photo albums at my parents house. I came across a photo of me in a sassy pose, wearing Barbie skates in my grandma’s kitchen. Even though it was 1997, my dad says that he still catches me with the same look on my face. Some things never change. The only difference between now and then is that I ditched the fanny pack. 

My parents were very surprised when I told them I started playing Roller Derby. I do admit, it was pretty out of the blue - over lunch at KFC. I thought it was a little strange that they never expressed any worry about me getting hurt. Maybe they thought it was just another phase? Honestly, I think they were more skeptical than anything because I sucked at every sport I ever played growing up. I was never really the “aggressive” type. When they saw me play for the first time, I don’t think they were too impressed because I was still new. I admit that I was never a Bambi when I first drafted, I was always pretty stable on my skates...just a little lost.

I started training with the Treasure Valley Rollergirls in January 2017. I remember my first practice so vividly because it was held in a barn that was so cold, I could see my breath while skating. Our coach said, “You should all be proud of yourselves for showing up. There are a lot of people who want to do this but don’t have the courage yet.” I have carried this with me since day 1. So I don’t just play this sport for me, but I also play for the ones who aren’t quite ready to lace up a pair of skates. 

I will forever be grateful to the Treasure Valley Rollergirls for giving me my introduction to derby. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite what they were looking for. They were looking for someone who was secure with themselves and what they were capable of. I didn’t possess that kind of confidence. I skated my last practice with TVR on a Wednesday and 24 hours later, I rolled into my very first practice with the Beet City Bombers. By this time, it was March 2018. 

Treasure Valley taught me how to skate.

Beet City taught me how to derby. 

I received the best of both worlds (insert Hannah Montana singing). 

On June 14, I became a drafted player for BCB. Aside from my high school and college graduations, draft night will go down in my personal history as being one of my greatest achievements. It was a very liberating experience for me because it was the most confident I ever felt in my life. When you spend a year in a half working your ass off for something you’ve wanted since you were a teenager, you would probably feel the same way. 

I’m not going to say I never had any opportunities to start derby sooner. When I was in high school, TVR’s very own Demolition Barbie used to work at my local library. TVR’s Draculatte was a barista on the NNU campus. The Rollerdrome gave me the contact information for BCB in 2013. 

I waited and that’s okay. 

I may have been confident on draft night but that was just a moment in memory lane. As a new skater, I wanted to see where I belonged on the track by trying everything. I probably tried every position on the track before I formed a tight bond with the outside line. 2020 is going to be a little different, as our team is smaller now and I have morphed into a backwards facing blocker. This last practice, my teammates and coach encouraged me to start jamming. Apparently, I’ve had secret jamming skills this whole time but never realized it. My derby is ever-changing.

My lack of confidence has played a huge part in my derby story. I’m an emotional person who struggles with depression and anxiety. My fear of failure is no secret to my teammates. I’ve had emotional breakdowns at games that were almost impossible to get through. When our team won, I would feel like they won without me. I say this from experience: tears and glitter don’t mix. 

Last summer, I took almost 2 weeks off to go on vacation with my family. It gave me time to get away and make a game plan for my comeback. I had an epiphany and discovered that derby wasn’t my first love, skating was. I started going to practice an hour early, three days a week just to skate. 

Some call it crazy,

I call it therapy. 

I can’t describe the feeling I get when I skate, but I can tell you that there’s nothing I would rather be doing in that moment. Skating gives me wings and brings me peace. 

The most difficult thing for me as a derby player so far is coming to the realization that I’m not going to be the best of the best overnight. In fact, I learned that this whole outlook is completely skewed. Roller Derby is about being my best and whatever that may entail, which is emulated by the choices I make to be the player I want to be.

This is my blog and I can speak my truth:

You can be a great derby player and a poor skater.

You can also be a great skater and a poor derby player.

My choice is to be an equal combination of both, which is entirely possible if you put the work in.

I separated skating skating and derby. Skating is mine and no one can take that away from me. I’m in complete control with no obstacles getting in my way, just the polish concrete in front of me. Someone suggested to me once that I treat my skating as a form of worship. I didn’t quite understand what she meant at the time. When I skate, it’s like the building I’m in is my church and I’m worshipping God through my skating. The feeling I get is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, I’m so in love with it. Skating will always be my greatest passion and derby is a close second. 

Derby on the other hand, isn’t about me at all, it’s about us. 

Skating is me,

Derby is we. 

We are more than just a group of women hitting each other on quad skates, vying for the crowd’s reaction (although that is lovely feeling). By making this clear distinction between skating and derby, my entire perspective has changed. I’ve become a better player and a better teammate because of it. 

I often think how different my life would be without derby. If it wasn’t for derby, I would have never fallen in love with with skating. Without the connections of our community, my living and work situation would be entirely different. I would have never met my best friend. I would have never gained a second family. I wouldn’t have the memories and I wouldn’t have the support.

Roller Derby may be one of the only sports in the world where you can hit someone at full force and hug it out afterwards. It’s the fastest growing sport in the world for a reason. 

Thanks for tuning in! It’s great to have a platform where I get to share my thoughts with the world. It’s even better to know that people are reading them.

All my derby love,

Sierra/Bash 

[lanaisnotwool]

410 Investing in Real Estate From Scratch - Interview with Ola Dantis

http://moneyripples.com/2020/07/30/410-investing-in-real-estate-from-scratch-interview-with-ola-dantis/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results. Listen to our Podcast:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/06/20/410--investing-in-real-estate-from-scratch-with-ola-dantis

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris Miles (00:09): Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Welcome you out for another wonderful show. A show that's for you and about you. Those of you that work so hard for your money and you want your money to start working harder for you now! You want that freedom. That prosperity. That cash flow. Today! So you work because you want to, not because you have to, because you want to live that life of freedom, that life of joy, and not just a life of luxury necessarily, right? But you want to have comfort for yourself, but more importantly, you want to create a ripple effect as a Rippler for the lives of those around you. Through your family, creating a legacy that lasts well beyond you, not a legacy of scarcity and lack. The legacy of abundance and prosperity, and it leaks out to your community and the country across the world.

Chris Miles (00:53): And how amazing would it be if all of us would prosper this way? So I'm excited to have you guys on here today, because again, this show has done amazing things. Thanks to you guys. You guys have been bingeing on this show. You've been sharing it. You've been applying the things we talk about, which I appreciate so much. So again, thank you so much for following us and being a part of this movement.

Chris Miles (01:12): Here's a reminder, check out our website, MoneyRipples.com. You know, you're going to get the ebook Beyond Rice & Beans. You can download there to find more resource, more cash. And also too, you know, if you've got questions for me, shoot me an email through there. So anyways, check it out guys.

Chris Miles (01:25): All right today. So I've got a special guest here, Ola Dantis. Now I actually first met Ola because I was on his show. He's actually got the Dwellynn Show that he's got going on as well. That's really cool. And we'll talk about that a little bit too. But the thing is like, this guy is so impressive, right? Because you know, some of us have been born and raised in the United States for our whole lives, you know. And I meet a lot of people that feel like they don't have opportunity or they hope and pray that something will come along that'll work. And I'll tell you like, Ola, gets rid of all of those excuses. Right? And so that's why I'm excited to bring him on. Now a little bit about Ola here. Like, as I mentioned, like he has the show, of course, but he's also the founder CEO of Dwellynn.com. He's a multifamily investment syndication firm. Should I say that 10 times fast? Right? He's successfully sourced deals of over $40 million by working with closely with sellers and with other apartment syndicators cross country.

Chris Miles (02:18): Now, although he's only lived in the U S for about six or seven years, he has successfully completed rehab projects in excess of $1 million. Now not only has he exceeded his investors returns, right? But he also has this great success in the multifamily space. In fact, he just closed on a 160 unit apartment deal in Houston, Texas, and another 104 unit deal in another place in Texas as well. And again, he does huge value adds across the country, mostly in strong Metro areas across the U S. Now he loves working with new investors, both here and abroad, even those that are international. Which is kind of where Ola's background comes from as well. Now, one cool thing too, is that his firm also aims to give back. So they have, what's a one house pledge where by every Christmas they donate a house to a family for Christmas. So starting in Baltimore, for example. So in fact, he just did a recent trip to the Philippines and Bali. And he's visited the slums and now working on a local initiative to help people in need. So huge guy like big heart, welcome to our show, Ola, how are you doing?

Ola Dantis (03:17): Doing fantastic, Chris. I really wish I had just put that on full blast. Called my wife i here so she can hear the introduction. Thank you so much!

Chris Miles (03:24): I totally get it. People introduce me way better than my wife will. You know, it's awesome. That's how you keep it real. So tell us, like, you know, where'd you come from and why did you come to the U.S.?

Ola Dantis (03:34): Yeah. I, you know, obviously you got to have a fantastic podcast. Thanks for having me. Really appreciate you for bringing me on. I'm going to be, I'm going to try to be as stutter free as I can be. So I was born in a place called Nigeria. Many people probably know that country for several interesting reasons, but we're not going to go into that. But I actually grew up in London. That's probably where my interest in also, I call it hybrid accent comes from. And it's still coming from that I live in the US so obviously grew up in the UK where, you know, got my degree and my master's degree there shortly after that went back home to Nigeria. I've set up firm doing pretty okay. But my wife, who is Filipino. She's born in the Philippines, but also American, but she was born in a military base in America because dad stuff in the military.

Ola Dantis (04:22): So she's like, she was working in the US even though we both went to school in the UK, it's like, Hey, you should come check Disney out. Cause she was interning at Disney. This was years ago now. And so I, you know, I jumped on the plane, you know, I was about to touch down in Florida. I was just looking at I'm a, windows seat guy. So I was looking out and looking at Florida and it's just beautiful. The aerial view. I mean, you can see all these, you know, the suburbia America, you know, the code is acts on, you know, it was just, I was like, this place is gorgeous! You know, why didn't anybody tell me about this place? You know, obviously go to Florida, you know, go to Disneyland. It was happy place. Amazing! Fantastic! Anyway, fast forward, my wife and I moved to the US I think two, three years later, after that very first trip, you know, to try the American gym.

Ola Dantis (05:09): And here we are the American gym. We're loving it. We had a nice fancy apartment. We didn't move to Florida. You'd assume we did. We actually chose Baltimore, Maryland. Well it was actually Columbia, Maryland. We started in, you know, in Maryland, we had great jobs. We had a fancy apartment. You know at the time, I didn't know anything about real estate. And then a friend of mine called me and said, Hey Ola, do you want to, you know, fly and meet me in Dubai? I need you to help me with my business. So come to Dubai! I was like, Oh, okay. So I did well, you know, smart man does a wise man. I prayed a body, obviously and then ask my wife, like, Hey, you know, my friend whose got this real estate business wants me to come and help him with his business. But he wants me to meet him in Dubai. She's like, well, have you guys heard of, I mean, this was years ago, this is all pre COVID. Just what to put that out it was years ago.

Ola Dantis (05:59): So it's just like, have you guys ever heard of Zoom? You know, Skype or whatever? I was like, well, maybe if I go on this trip, maybe I'll learn something, you know, really good or cool. I mean, I can use it. We can use it. The reason I'm, you know, having these anecdote accounts is people really get a context, right? It's not like this guy just fell out of the sky. What does he think he is? He think that America is the greatest place on the planet. I really do think that. And I'll come back to that later. Anyway, the reason I'm telling this story is, success never comes to you as a golden box with a ribbon on it. It could come as a phone call. So be opened, right? Be receptive to things that might maybe might seem outlandish or out of the box, but that could be the beginning of your success.

Ola Dantis (06:44): So that's why I'm bringing up this story. Anyway, I was on my way to Dubai. Met with my friend, you know, just standard hotel. I were way like in the desert court biking, none of that, it was just three days, you know, with my friend and his business, which was real estate. Back home in the UK. So I was like, Oh my goodness! If he's doing this in the UK, certainly I can do this in the US! By the way, you know, I didn't mention this. I was living the American dream. Go to work. Come home. Go to work. Traffic. Come home. Go to work. It was just like, Oh my God, is this it? I'm just going to do this and die? So I was kind of having that...

Chris Miles (07:19): The dream we all have, right? We all hope we get stuck in traffic and work all day!

Ola Dantis (07:24): You know, I was like, this, there's gotta be something else. I mean, this is great. You know, we had great jobs, but it was just. So anyway, so I was like, I think this is what I've been looking for. Right? Great entrepreneurial excitement, go back to the US really just went hard on, I didn't know anything about real estate. So I just asked my best friend, you know, Google. And I started learning, you know, a website kept coming up Bigger Pockets. So watched that website, that podcast. This book kept coming up, Rich Dad Poor Dad. So I'm talking about pattern recognition yet, right? So every guest was saying, you know, read this book. So I read the book and literally what happened to me was an uppercut in my brain like, Oh my goodness! Whoever this guy is, stole my idea. Whatever this guy is saying is what I've been trying to say to myself.

Ola Dantis (08:14): You know, it's just that Eureka moment. Right? And anyway, fast forward. Put our first building, our first piece of real estate, and by the way, we were just in the US probably by then maybe two or three years also. But our first building, it was a duplex in Baltimore, Maryland, in the class A area of Baltimore. Because when folks hear Baltimore, you know, anyway, whatever, and you know, we did that, right. This was three, four months probably after my trip back. And my wife and I were having our home one night, you know, kind of doing what lovers do. Cooking! We're having a conversation. And I was like, Hey, like my account just keeps growing, growing and growing and growing. And she's like, me too actually! So we think about like, Hey, what did we do different? We bought real estate. And we had tenants in the top floor paying for most of our mortgage. So now we have the new problem, which is just money accumulating.

Chris Miles (09:14): Now what?

Ola Dantis (09:14): Now what. Right. And I say this because there might be folks out there thinking, well, I don't know what to do. I go to work. All my money is gone. I don't know where it goes. I kind of come for it, but you could house hack. Right. Which is what we did. You could buy a piece of property. It doesn't matter where you are in the United States. You know, it could be two doors or three or four. So a duplex or triplex or fourplex. You live in one and you rent the others. Right. So if you're thinking I don't have money, I don't know where to start. You could start there. Now.

Chris Miles (09:48): True.

Ola Dantis (09:48): Just to throw that in there. If you have kids and you have your wives, I mean, you know, it might be a little bit tricky because my wife and I did this when it was just me and her. We could live in a one bedroom. We didn't care about parking. You know, even though you've never find parking in city. That's the things that we sacrificed in the beginning. Right. So that's how I got into the game. And I realized we were making all this money. I was like, Whoa, maybe we can do this. If we did this 10 times more, we wouldn't have to go to any Ruby board. We wouldn't have to go to a job. Right. So that's what started. That was the impetus for Dwellynn, our company. Dwellynn.com. And I found a mentor, were kind of, you know, he was buying apartments and I was like, Oh, that's really what I want to do. I mean, I'd have to buy 10 of these things. I could just buy a building and maybe I'll retire. Right. That's how it works. Anyway, I got a mentor and then we started Dwellynn. And, you know, as they say, the rest is still history in the making, I guess.

Chris Miles (10:48): Yeah. The rest is history, right? That's awesome! Kind of take us back again. Like what, cause I know with a lot of listeners on this show, like sometimes they have a fear. I mean, one, they have a fear right now what's going on in the world. Right. So they're kind of, someone we're kind of scared of getting real estate anyways. But even before this, there were still people like, yeah, but isn't it risky? What if I do it wrong? What would you say to them?

Ola Dantis (11:12): So a couple of things, right? It, you know, is it risky? I don't think so. But living in the house every single day is risky. Stepping out of your door is risky. Living life is risky. Right? So that's, let's have that. The back of our mind, as I continue, I don't think it's risky because that's my opinion. I'm just one out of 7 billion people on this planet. But another way to mitigate risk is knowledge. Right? So try to go learn, you know, it's like if I talked to a friend of mine who maybe is a developer, right. I mean like programmer right in I.T. He's not going to learn about real estate cause he doesn't have the knowledge. Right. So if you'll speak into people who don't know about real estate, the natural thing. They're not bad people. They just said, Oh, he's in a risky. It's just a, I don't know. And he's, you know, risky. It's not a, you know, they're not technical people. So, so for you to be able to mitigate those risks is you need to understand and educate yourself about the subject matter. It doesn't matter if it's real estate or if you want to start buying stocks or whatever. So I think that's what I did. I may have skipped that in my story. But when I got back, I divulge and just binged podcasts, I read a lot of books and I had a big library of books and I continue to be, and that's why I said, Google is my best friend. Right. So, cause that's what I do. So Hey, when you do that, that would help you to mitigate that risk.

Chris Miles (12:40): What was one book that you really enjoyed? Like what really helped you a lot?

Ola Dantis (12:43): So at that time, it was definitely, definitely Rich Dad Poor Dad, that got me started. It's not much of a real estate book as such. You would think it is. Yeah. Yeah. And it's more life philosophy. But another book that really helped me was this book. Right? So this is like free, just free knowledge, Investing in Duplexes, Triplexes & Quads by a guy called Larry Loftis. Well you still see, it's like, arms length to me, right. I've always got a book around that. I got another book I'm reading right here. The reason I'm doing this is people will say stuff like, is it risky? Or can I do this? There are things that you can do to get successful.

Chris Miles (13:25): Yes.

Ola Dantis (13:26): One thing is this, you have to be a reader. And I'm going to throw something COVID-19 related. You know, Bill Gates knew that we could have a pandemic that we're having today. Now people might say, how did this guy know? Cause he's a reader, right? Of course there's crazy conspiracy theories out there. But just put that aside. The way Bill Gates could predict this is cause he read. He just reads. So if you're out there, you can hear the sound of my voice and you want to be exceptional and excellent in anything you do. Be a reader! But more importantly, be a divergent reader. Don't just read one topic. Be broad as much as you can.

Chris Miles (14:12): Interesting. I love that. I love what you're saying about risks too. Cause there's lots of different types of risks, right? There's market risk. Like a lot of people worry about, but you mentioned about like education is key, right? Because you want a lower risk. The best thing you can do is try to figure out how you can get risk within your control. How can you manage the risk? How can you reduce it yourself? And education is a key piece of that, right? Like you mentioned a little bit of these different books and things like that and podcasts, you know, not saying that we're we got two podcasts you might want to listen to, to help with that. You know, between Ola's show and mine. Right. But self serving of course, but it's true. That education is critical. Like without it, you're right. You know, cause that's where, I remember people would ask me all the time like, well isn't that risky? I said for you, it probably would be. For me, not so much because I've got the education and training behind it. And that's why a lot of people will end up coming to me because they're like, okay, how do we get trained and educated to know what to do or how to do it? You know, or that sort of thing or what to know, like what questions to ask even. Right. And I'll tell you if you think real estate is risky. I mean, if you've been investing in a 401k, an IRA or any kind of mutual fund where you have zero control of any markets and it gets you mediocre returns with lots of high risk and volatility, trust me, you're already taking more risks than any risk that Ola or I are taking right now.

Chris Miles (15:34): You know, if you're putting money in every single month, you are essentially losing money every month, putting money into something that you won't be able to get back out without asking for permission and sometimes waiting weeks to get that money. You know, like that's what happens when you put money in mutual funds or especially IRAs and 401ks, right. You know, real estate. It's like, Hey, you know, if you apply the same thing, you said, well, this is how it reduce risks with my mutual funds. I just hold onto it forever. Right? Like it's okay. Because in the long haul it goes up, well guess what happens to the real estate in the long haul? It always goes up, you know, like it's no different. The only difference is that you don't have to keep putting money into it all the time.

Ola Dantis (16:09): Right. And then with mutual funds and kind of some of this intangible assets, one they not had, you can't touch and feel them. But to the beauty that a lot of people don't really get with real estate is leverage. If you want to buy a mutual fund for a thousand dollars, you have to actually exchange a thousand dollars in cash.

Chris Miles (16:33): So true.

Ola Dantis (16:35): For that value of that mutual fund or stocks or whatever. But for real estate, if you were to buy a piece of real estate for $1,000, you only have to put down 200 bucks, 20%, like it's genius, it's gold. So that the power, the leverage piece is a lot of people don't really get that. They don't really understand that.

Chris Miles (16:53): Yeah. When I was, securities licensed back in the mid 2000s, right. I remember, you know, we'd have to have people sign waivers saying, I am not borrowing money to put in the stock market. Right. Like I am not borrowing money. This is not coming from a bank. You know, why they having to sign that because banks won't put their own money in, why would they want you to put their money in? Right. So, you know, with the real estate probably different. Real estate banks were like, Oh, you want some money? Here. Here you go. I'll pay for most of it. You know, you put your little down payment, I'll pay the rest. You know, like if obviously banks thinks it's less risky, why you keep putting money in the place where banks won't put money? Right. It's a good point. So let's, let's talk about like your syndication. Cause you have a syndication that you have as well where you, you buy into multifamily stuff. First. Like, do you still see deals out there or are you being very cautious and holding back saying, Hey, I know the deals are coming, but I'm not jumping right now. What's your viewpoint on it currently?

Ola Dantis (17:46): Yeah. So, definitely. Transactional value has gone down and I don't want to get overly technical, but essentially what syndication means is, you know, pulling together a group of investors to buy an asset that you cannot buy by yourself.So, If I were to go out on the streets and buy home. Yeah. I probably could double myself. Why you want to buy a 200 unit, 150. You'd definitely need a couple of partners, at least a ton of investors. Anyway. So that's what syndication is. So in terms of, do you feel definitely a lot of us in the syndication space are kind of taking a wait and see approach of the fascinating thing is what we're doing at Dwellynn is we're not waiting, you know, for the whole country. I mean, as we know, as you know, we record this in May. Early May.

Ola Dantis (18:34): Now some parts of the country I opened for business or at least partially opened and it's been phased out, but we don't want to wait for a time when the flood gates open and it's too late to get to. So we've taken the present approach and kind of looking at the daily numbers of new cases, not only in the United States, but we checked in Italy, Spain, the United Kingdom. So just to make sure that we're going into the market at the right time, a little folks that talking about that wants to see, you know, kind of to quotas of, you know, positive GDP growth. I think that's too late because you know, then confidence goes up and you just backed away. You were pre COVID. So what exactly. So we really try to time the market. And to be honest with you, now more than ever is when multifamily, which apartment buildings, the space we're in is doing pretty well. You know, not so much from an economic perspective, but really from an asset class perspective. People have to stay in place. They have to, you know, shelter in place. You have to stay in a place. So yeah.

Chris Miles (19:37): Very, very true. So if people wanted to like follow you more right. Or learn more about the deals that you have going on and stay up to speed on that. Because obviously like things are changing at the speed of a tweet and nowadays, you know, like Trump tweets something and all of a sudden people go crazy. You know? So health organization says something or CDC, or heck anybody the fed say something, the world keeps constantly changing. So if people want to follow you Ola, and they want to be able to follow your deals or even your show, what would it be the best way for them to do so.

Ola Dantis (20:08): Yeah, sure. Thanks for that, Chris. So best way is InvestWithOla. So that's InvestWithOla.com and that would kind of take you to our website. And then also if you want to check out the Dwellynn show, feel free to do that. You know, on iTunes where pretty much everywhere. So for those folks out there, Instagram, you know, folks I'm on Instagram, I'm ubiquitous. You wouldn't be able to miss me. So just go on Instagram, @OlaDantis or just Google OlaDantis all over the place. Linkedin, if you're into LinkedIn too, I'm right there.

Chris Miles (20:40): Awesome! I love it. Well, cool. Happy to have you on today, man. Cause this is such good information. It's so good to hear a perspective of someone who won. I mean, you really kind of kill a lot of the excuses we have, right? I mean, you come to a brand new country, you know, you work nine to nine grind almost, you know, if include traffic, right. Or, you know, seven to seven, you know, and you've done all this stuff. And then you built from the bottom up. I mean, you start with individual houses all the way to buying a hundred, 200 type unit apartment buildings. I mean, that's incredible. I mean, that really is. So I really appreciate you sharing experience and we'll put your information in the show notes that people can have see, InvestWithOla.com as well as your show there. So again, thank you so much for your time, Ola.

Ola Dantis (21:21): Thank you Chris. I really appreciate.

Chris Miles (21:23): Hey everybody else, like thanks for joining us today. Again, check out Ola's stuff, you know, and remember like everything, almost everything starts with your brain first. Educate yourself, empower yourself, reduce the risk and do something that actually will create great wealth now because now is as good of opportunity as any trade amazing wealth. And so, and Ola is a perfect example of that. So everybody, I appreciate you guys coming on, have a wonderful and prosperous week. We'll see you later.

[hqkennedy-blog]

*  breathes  ..  i  wish  me  and  introductions  could  be  the  best  of  friends  but  ,  it  seems  like  they  hate  my  guts  and  in  return  i  hate  theirs  asdfj  .  hi  hello  you  pretty  people  ,  im  gi  and  well  ??  i’ve  had  my  eye  on  this  group  for  a  minute  ..  so  my  excitement  level  ?  through  the  roof  .   kennedy  is  a  revamped  ?   ish  ??  muse  who  i  cannot  wait  to  dig  deeper  into  and  develop  .  on  that  note  ?  if  you  want  to  know  a  little  more  about  her  ,  just  keep  on  swimming  ,,,  i  mean  reading  .  and  afterwards  i  demand  you  love  her  and  plot  with  me  ( pretty  please  )  

ʻ   /   let  me  introduce  you  to  a  prized  member  of  our   co-ed  dance  team   ,   kennedy   leavitt .  this   cis  female  scorpio   has  been  a  student  at  our  institution for   six  years  and  is  currently  a  twenty  year  old   sophomore .   through  the  halls ,   she  has  always  reminded  me  of   madison  beer   ,   but  there  is  always  more  than  meets  the  eye ,   like  the  fact  that  she  covered  for  her  best  friend  by  announcing  to  the  cops  that  the  drugs  they  found  in  their  car  did  not  belong  to  them  but  to  her  instead            knowing  her  father  would  be  able  to  make  any  and  all  consequences  disappear  which  he  did  but  followed  by  him  forbidding  her  from  seeing  them  anymore  .  coral  cape  has  made  their  future  just  as  bright  as  their  smile ,   i  assure  you .  ʼ    

   *   p  r  o  s  o  p  o  g  r  a  p  h  y  

trigger  warning  !!!  mention  of  cancer  !!  

stranded  at  the  age  of   six  ,  a  stuffed  elephant  in  hand  and  confusion  lingering  on  skin  .  small  glimpses  of  a  angelic  features  to  ease  the  never  ending  tears  that  swam  in  honeyed  hues  .  too  young  to  understand  the  concept  that  she  had  not  been  stranded  due  to  lack  of  love  nor  a  lack  of  want  but  because  of  the  inability  to  care  for  the  small  child  .  a  clock  that  was  running  out  ,  and  a  vengeful  cancer  that  did  not  care  for  the  butterfly  kisses  or  midnight  snacks  as  they  watched  the  stars  .  a  child  needing  their  mother  meant  nothing  to  such  a  disease  .  

was  put  ,  or  more  so  forced  ,  in  the  care  of  her  father  .  the  man  who  looked  down  at  her  with  guilt  dancing  in  his  hues  and  cold  features  that  made  her  want  to  flinch  .  the  reality  was  ,  olly  leavitt  originally  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  the  life  he  helped  create  .  fell  into  the  cliche  category  of  the  rich  man  sleeping  with  his  twenty  something  assistant            getting  her  pregnant  only  to  try  to  pay  her  to  get  rid  out  of  the  fetus  and  when  that  failed  ?  he  paid  her  to  never  spill  that  it  was  his  .   and   louise  did  ,   she  raised  the  ebullient  baby  for  six  years  until  she  realized  six  years  was  all  she  would  be  able  to  spend  with  her  .  and  then  she  fell  at  the  feet  of   a  selfish  man  she  once  loved  and  begged  him  to  take  their  baby  under  his  care  ,  to  give  her  everything  she  could  not  do  . 

a  public  figure  ,  drenched  in  sovereignty  and  affluence  .   was  in  no  position  to  deny  a  child  of  his  ,  especially  when  that  child  had  a  dead  mother  .  used  it  and  kenny  in  his  advantage  ,  concealing  his  own  guilt  and  projecting  disgust  .  magazine  covers  and  interviews  about  the  tragic  sob  story  ,   kissed  her  cheek  in  front  of  the  cameras  and  spoke  with  such  empathy  when  ears  were  tuned  in  ...  but  in  private  ?  created  distance  and  threw  money  at  her  as  though  there  was  a  number  he  could  hit  to  fill  the  void  she  had  .    

has  ‘  it  all  ‘  ,  so  outsiders  say  .  bat  their  eyes  and  make  comments  about  how  she’s  destined  to  do  great  things  .  lives  in  that  beautiful  and  just  so  expensive  house  ,   and  she  drives  the  2020  lamborghini  ,   and  have  you  seen  her  feed  ?  captivating  smiles  as  she  poses  with  her  best  friends  ,  and  i  heard  she  just  took  a  family  vacation  to   monaco   .    got  that  dress  made  personally  for  her  by  versace  ,  and  doesn’t  she  got  to  that  prestigious  school  ?   the  privilege  of  being  privilege  ,   she  should  shut  up  and  just  be  happy  she  is  where  she  is  .   broken  hearts  heal  ...  and  if  it  doesn’t  ?  eventually  that  cold  feeling  becomes  a  friend  .  

*  r  u  m  i  n  a  t  i  o  n  

laughter  falls  from  her  mouth  like  its  her  own  language  .  ebullience  ,  the  chatter  bug  that  has  the  ability  to   ramble  until  she’s  threatened  (  by  an  older  brother  of  course  )  .  affectionate  ,  has  digits  that  are  constantly  reaching  for  another  hand  to  hold  .  a  habit  of  letting  fingertips  dance  across  bare  skin  ,  or  a  head  that  constantly  needs  a  shoulder  to  lean  on  .  warmth  ,  makes  her  feel  not  so  lonely  .   is  in  her  head  too  much  ,  the  type  of  girl  that  stares  at  the  night  sky  and  wonders  why  the  stars  make  her  feel  so  small  .   inherited  her  fathers  impulsive  ways  and  her  mother’s  trait  to  love  even  when  it  hurts  .  triggers  that  silence  in  her  that  desperately  holds  on  to  people  to  make  her  feel  something  ,  and  when  that’s  not  enough  her  careless  and  adrenaline  seeking  nature  kicks  in  to  cause  chaos              make  her  feel  alive  .   fears  people  leaving  her  just  like  she  see’s  her  father  in  every  flaw  she  has  .  toxic  in  the  way  she  has  the  urge  to  pull  back  every  time  she  gets  too  close  .  uses  gregariousness  to  hide  her  greatest  heart  ache  of  feeling  disposable  .  selfish  in  wanting  to  leave  a  mark  on  everyone  .  dramatic  like  she  should  of  dropped  out  of  college  and  ran  to  broadway  instead  .   loyal  like  she’s  trying  to  make  up  for  every  betrayal  you  have  ever  had  ..  emotional  enough  to  crawl  into  your  lap  (  intoxicated  )  and  cry  about  all  of  her  worries  .  silly  to  the  point  you  can’t  help  but  laugh  before  letting  ,  ‘  what’s  wrong  with  you  ‘  fall  from  your  lips  .   so  captivating  you  want  to  drown  in  her  no  matter  the  consequences  that  follow  .

*  h  e  a  d  c  a  n  o  n  s  -  i  s  h  

has  a  obsession  with  nails  ,  long  acrylic’s  so  pretty  you  could  cry  .  

always  has  her  toes  painted  ,  her  go  to  color  being  white              swears  it  makes  her  feel  more  elegant  . 

did  cheer leading  and  only  settled  on  dance  because  it  felt  most  familiar  to  her  though  she  did  play  soccer  for  three  years  . 

could  eat  waffle  fries  for  the  rest  of  her  life  and  never  complain  .  

has  three  cars  ,  and  a  bit  of  a  obsession  with  them  in  general  .  

eats  pineapple  like  it’s  her  life  support  . 

is  musically  talented  ,  not  just  vocally  but  plays  the  piano  too  .  her  mother  taught  her  . 

has  three  half  siblings  ,  and  she  would  take  a  bullet  for  any  of  them . 

is  close  to  her  step  mom  ,  and  without  her ?  would  of  tried  to  get  removed  from  her  fathers  custody  the  minute  she  was  old  enough  to  do  so  .

has  a  aunt  on  her  mother  side  that  lives  close  by  ,  she  often  spends  time  at  her  place  ..  

*  w  a  n  t  e  d    c  o  n  n  e  c  t  i  o  n  s 

ex  best  friend  ,  the  person  who  her  secret  is  related  to  .  i  assumed  she  would  have  just  cut  them  off  instead  of  telling  them  what’s  really  going  on  ,  but  of  course  we  can  work  that  all  out  .

current  best  friend  ,  the  cristina  to  her  meredith  .  one  of  the  few  who  really  knows  kenny  .  platonic  soulmates  . 

partner  in  crime  ,  they  enable  one  another  ..  there’s  no  way  around  it  but  despite  their  bad  habits  they  have  a  solid  friendship  .  if  one  of  them  needed  bail  money  the  other  would  be  there  (  sometimes  right  beside  them  )

the  friend  group  ,  who  doesn’t  love  a  little  squad  goal  moment  .  they’re  just  cute  and  close  friends  who  are  always  with  each  other . 

childhood  /  family  friend  .

tutor(s)  . 

first  love  . 

on  and  off  friendship  .

toxic  relationship  . 

teammates  . 

friends  with  benefits  (  who  sweaaaar  they  dont  have  feelings  for  each  other  )

ex  friends  with  benefits  . 

close  friends  .

friends  who  are  drifting  apart  .

will  they  wont  they .

unlikely  friends  .

confidant  . 

people  who  she  doesnt  like  and  people  who  dont  like  her .

anything  forbidden  (  friendship  or  relationship  )

honestly  ??  anything  and  everything  please  . 

[sireneia-a]

overdue but an analysis on legendary leif’s lines. fe4 and fe5 spoilers alike under the cut because i went for way longer than i expected oops:

there’s no specific time i can discern where he comes from. my best idea is that it has to be after genealogy chapter eight considering he’s asking finn permission to be able to protect thracia with all he is, which would be him remembering that finn got mad at him for saying he would die so long as it meant he killed king bloom too. he has yet to finish his journey though; i don’t have any specific line to make me think this, but he in general seems to be still in the midst of conflict talking of wishing to protect and fight for things. additionally, leif says he is still doing horseback training which implies he has yet to feel comfortable in his new promoted class, making it very difficult for me to believe this is postgame.

he also still holds a distance between himself and seliph which makes me think it’s still mid-fe4 BUT to be fair, seliph at the end of thracia asks to be friends with leif to which leif agrees, but he clearly doesn’t think they’re actually friends because at the ending of genealogy, leif is the one to propose that they become friends like their fathers before them. i’ll say since it was seliph initiating it in fe5 though, leif having lines where he belittles himself against seliph and maintains that distance continues the trend that leif says things he doesn’t believe in to placate people. he’s no better than the prince who strung along miranda yet proposed to nanna the next minute. 

this was fairly obvious that he was taken post-fe5 considering his class is master knight, but it’s notable that the most common level-up line you’ll get from him is “this is no time to panic. i must simply take one step at a time...” which probably echoes his regret over dorias dying for him. leif still has his hot-blooded nature to him, but he knows he should exercise caution or else people will die for him. the fact it’s the most common level-up line implies it’s a mantra that he has to repeat over and over to himself, to reel himself in. he is on the verge of letting himself be emotionally impulsive which is his greatest vice in his opinion.

his inferiority complex is still Very Real. he not only compares himself to seliph saying he has a lot of growing up to do [to catch up to him], but he refuses the title of legendary hero saying he’s very far from it (he has another line which states his being a hero is an idea as far as the horizon — unreachable even) and he also states in his orthodox introduction that he hopes to become a ruler worthy of his own title, implying he doesn’t think he’s capable of becoming king anytime soon. beyond that, he strives to meet expectations aka the bottom line, and he is quick to state that he will be unable to help anyone at the rate he’s going (with 1-stat level ups) yet so unwilling to give himself any compliments or acknowledgements of progress. even when he’s improving well, he states his goal of becoming a beacon of hope yet he feels the need to ask for his father’s guidance. even at his highest point, he is uncertain.

speaking of needing guidance, he mentions people he looks towards a lot! seliph as the ideal, august as his mentor for whom he derives wisdom from, finn for consent on doing what he thinks is right, and quan gets two lines — one about asking for him to watch over him and another where leif aspires to fulfill quan’s role as the leader of the leonster lanceritter. this supports the idea that leif is lost and lacks confidence but also highlights how important his relationships are. leif is never an independent figure. he is ultimately sculpted by how he perceives others and considering his guilt about the dorias situation, it makes sense that he is constantly thinking about what others would do before he jumps into the fray. it is very well the very thing that can mark his death or his living.

leif wishing to lead the lanceritter continues the trend of him chasing after his father, a man he didn’t really know, and how almost every goal in his life revolves around becoming the second coming of his father. leif doesn’t voice any inclination towards the lance, and one could argue that’s further proven by the fact he’s not even wielding one in this alt. yet he still attaches himself to the ghost of his father’s memory.

on more light-hearted stuff, he’s into reading! very... practical reading which makes me question if it’s really a hobby as much as yet another thing he feels like he needs to do in order to become a better leader... but he does voice what seems to be genuine excitement at the size of the order of heroes’ library! he’s specifically into studying nation-building, once again feeding into the idea that all of his actions ( e.g. studying all weapons to compensate for his lack of major holy blood ) feed into him wanting to get rid of his perceived weaknesses as opposed to seeking out pleasure.

leif at some point drinks a lot of tea as a way to counteract drowsiness but realized it doesn’t really do anything. i wish to believe his concern over the stamina of the summoner ties into him seeing firsthand the limits of his army’s stamina in thracia 776. he’s trying to be more attentive nowadays after being scolded for trying to push people past their limits

despite the fact all of his lines point to him still suffering his inferiority complex and related issues, his lvl40 convo implies character growth occurs during his time at askr: he doesn’t mind the fact that he doesn’t wield a holy weapon as much anymore, though he acknowledges this fact still as it is inescapable, as he now realizes his desire to change history is more important than brute strength. this fits in with his ending where he travels all across jugdral to end oppression, and it likely also is him remembering how he learned southern thracia suffers food shortages unfairly while the manster region has a surplus of crops. he understands it’s the politics of jugdral that creates grief though that makes me go :thinking: at if he ever changes his mind about arvis at all. 

leif mentions not only wishing to please njörun, his house’s patron crusader, but also dáinn of thracia, fully driving home the point that he wishes for the unification of both halves of thracia and does not look down upon those from southern thracia. congratulations leif on surpassing ur dad even if u think he wasn’t prejudiced against them

[prceteritus-a]

@hopegained asked:  ship: THEM bc i am Curious and i wanna bother u

Ship Meme || Not accepting!!

Under read more due to size!

- How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals? Most times they end up falling asleep with each other and waking up with Rayquelle in Eron’s hold due to the nightmares she has she seeks the comfort and warmth! DAILY RITUALS UH YEAH they try to go out at least once a day and have a ‘date’ and stargaze. It’s a way for them to relax, be in each others presence but not have to worry about others.

- How’s their team work? Do they share well? Ray is a very independent woman but since joining the resistance she has had to partake inmore team activities. Eron understands her Hesitance and works with it or around it so they can get their task done without making her uncomfortable. 

- Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection? Ok so this is a big thing. In the beginning stages of their relationship no one knows hell not even they really do. Eron needs alot of trust because of the walls around him and the second layer around his heart and Ray respects that. He tore hers down before she go into his so thats something she has to accept. They don’t really come out about their relationship I think ever it just kind of becomes natural and people start to see the looks in their eyes when they look at each other. Public display of affection follows the same rules and I actually think Eron is the first to break that (I answered an ask like this) Where he would have to make the conscious decision to partake in PDA.

- First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight? NO IT WAS NOT! So when they first met they payed no mind to each other however, they don’t really count it because it wasn’t anything big it was her introduction to the resistance when she was found. The real start for them was when he found her stargazing in a spot he thought no one knew about. Eron was probably unfazed at her but Ray was curious. He looked scary, not gonna lie maybe mean? But biggest of all. he looked almost... like he’d seen so much and it hurt him and she wanted to alleviate that because she too had that for herself.

- Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes? Ray for Eron: Love,Babe, Baby, Eldin, Honey, Dear, and her favorite My Stars Eron for Ray: Love, Babe, Baby,  (I’m sure more but YOU WONT GIVE ME MORE ALKDJ:LK)

- Any tasks that are always left to one person? Cooking is Ray’s thing she will fight for that!

- What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could? N O T H I N G! Both Ray and Eron treasure the other faults and all the only changes they want are to themselves. ( Ray also hates sometimes how he’s so tall she has to ask him to bend down for kisses sometimes)

- What do the like best about their partner? WOW uhm Ray loves everything but his heart is the best. He has been through so much seen so much yet still trusts her like he does and loves her like he does and that warms her to the core of her being. She wouldn’t trade it for the world.Now for Eron I don’t know if it’s what he likes best but i feel like it’s along the lines of a similar thing. She’s been a child of abuse and was flat out kidnapped yet still gives him so much even on her worst days. She always shows him hes loved and cared for and makes it known she treasures him above all else.

- Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death? Yes they do. They’ve discussed marriage and children especially. They both would like them and also don’t want them.

- Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public? Drives; either Cooks; Ray Handiwork; either but usually Eron Clean; Both Pays the bills; Both handles the public; either

- Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries? RAY IS A FIRM BELIEVER IN HOLIDAYS YOU BET YOUR ASS ERON GETS SPOILED ON BIRTHDAYS WITH BOTH SEX AND FOOD AND PRESENS AND ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY OMG SHE GOES MAD WITH IT. She believes everyday you should celebrate your partner on days like those shes got the right to be everywhere with it

- Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon? S o weddings. Ray wants to marry Eron thats a fact. Will the get married? Thats a hard question because i feel like in the canon verse they never feel really a NEED too. They dont need a ring to tell them that they love each other. But in any AU with them as a ship or in a verse where they do get married. They don’’t want anything big only those important to them  their marriage is for them not their friends and family. Its about them giving themselves to each other. The proposal would be cute and heartfelt and could be as simple as Eron kissing her neck and just “I want to marry you...” or her after a night of him grounding her form a nightmare she just “I want you and me forever... let’s get married Eron”  The honeymoon? They dont need fancy yet again just each other. Take it as an excuse to give it all into each other with no interruptions

- What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up? THey both stargaze, Love shooting blaster, she loves just domestic cuddling , and they always when able eat together

- Anything they both dread? Becoming those they hate and losing those they love honestly those are the biggest. Ray’s TRUEST fear is Embrent will return and kill eron and force her back under his thumb

- How adventurous are they? Eron more so than Rayquelle haha I could see him guiding her around her hand in his as they explore things though

- Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat? Rayquelles poker face is absolute shit. 

- What would make them break up? Would it be permanent? UHM HONESTLY THE FEARS BECOMING TOO MUCH AND EVEN THEN THEY’RE BOTH LOYAL AF SO IDK IFIT WOULD RESULT IN A BREAK UP

- What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other? The dates they have are usually very mellow and no stress consisting of mainly stargazing or holovids and cuddling.

- What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up? Arguments are almost none existent minor little battles of wit do happen but for the most part full arguments don’t! BUT on the occasion they do they get alittle emotional. Make up consists of lots of just quality time. maybe some sex who knows.

- What does their home look like? Their room? Their home thanks to Ray is clean and tidy with a set spot for everything! The same applies for their room.Their things are in no set sides of room for the most part its where ever it works

- Do they share any interests or hobbies? GUNS, KNIVES, STARGAZING, BEING PARENTS TO JAEDEN AND EVELLYN HAHA

- Does their work ever interfere with the relationship? Not in a serious method. It does spark some fear in both parties and there are nights where they get genuinely upset the other isn't there and have a horrible time sleeping. Unable to get a lick.

- How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort? listen they just soft bbs

- Any doubts about the relationship? Both have doubts because of their history but never about each other. The doubts stem of “They will leave me like everyone else” in Eron’s head and Ray is scared she will lose him like she lost her parents. The minute comfort finds her Embrent returns and kills Eron in front of her. But in Eron himself? She knows he loves her undoubtedly and that he will always. Now she can only hope he knows she feels the same. 

- How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

- How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families? Leia and Luke I imagine love that they’re so good for each other. Family on Ray’s front wel uhm.... like i said leia approves haha. Everyone in the base loves it because it softened Eron and brought Ray out more and shes more sociable.

- Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up? Well N love we both are kill happy for them in TROS SOOOOOO but i do want to write them being parents be it au or whatever UPDATE THEY HAVE A SON AND A DAUGHTER JAEDEN AND EVELLYN

- What are their vacations like? Together literally thats the thing. A vacation for them could be their bedroom. As long as they’re together

- How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness? RAY INSTANT PANIC ON EMERGENCIES! They are both nurses when the other is sick haha

- Could they manage a long distance relationship? IT WOULD WRECK THEM they probs could but like alot of them is physical interaction and with her nightmares it would wreck eron watching that with nothing he could do to help. Ray loves to hug and cuddle him to tell him she LOVES him and not doing that and watching him have a rough patch? nope wrecked

- Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something? They know when the other is hiding something eron especially but ray has gotten good at noticing for him. Another thing is with finishing sentences. Eron could probably but he doesnt engage in it much but shell do it whenever she can!

- Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous? They dont get into trouble really

- What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions? Ray gives presents when she feel like it tbh. They range from hobby based to food and anything in between. If she thinks of eron when she sees it its gift material.

- Do they have any pets? Eron best get his woman her own BB unit

- Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw? he brings out in ray allowing her to open up and she the best in him because they are actually

- What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness? The weakness is how much they self doubt themselves. they rely so heavily on each other that it may be SEVERELY detrimental if one dies

- How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross? they would kill and die for another

- What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do? They both have a think for oral so there’s a fair bit of it haha. Ray has an immense thing for praise in the bedroom so often when they have sex its very personal and intimate full of declarations of love and eron calling her a good girl ;) they can get kinky but like thats a whole other think im sure

- Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love? Uhm ray accidently confessed so she started it, Eron probably kissed her first one of the they just stared at lips until someone took that plunge

- Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to? Ray wants to take him to what she was told was her home so she can find out more about her childhood. Other than that none that i can think of in terms of places. OH! Their stargazing spot!!! Special memories though their first time kissing, with each other intimately, ALSO A memory eron will never forget is walking in on his lady cooing to their daughter promissing her so much in life.

- Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often? They aren’t big party goers but they still enjoy a good drink with friends. Ray is HYPERSEXUAL when drunk and kind of a hyperactive person

- Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them? HAHAHAHnope they will not hesitate to call shit out

- Do they talk often? yes!

- Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for? They trust each other with their life and most things are open but there may be nights where they need the privacy on emotions and just need to be in their mind for a bit. the other always respects it.

- Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets? heartbreaks and regrets are still up in the air with them they still have time to grow but dreams? well ray wants to have a family. which they later get.

[wonderlustlucas]

eggs - lee taeyong

⇢ prompt Breakfast does not go to the stomach, it goes to the heart. ⇢ pairing taeyong x female reader ⇢ word count 3.1k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none unless fluff gives u whiplash :D ⇢ summary “Taeyong fluff. basically like they aren’t a couple yet but they know they both like each other so they’re all cutesy and shit :) plot doesn’t really matter tbh as long as it’s some cute ass fluff”—request ⇢ a/n take this fluffy shit and shove it up ur ass for optimum benefit

“Noona, will you please make us breakfast?” You are one hundred percent going to kill him.

“Ten, call me that again and the only thing I will cook is your arms and legs. I just bought cereal and milk, so leave me alone,” you groan like a branch under the weight of snow, rolling away from the brightness of the sun filtering through the window and swinging a leg out from beneath the covers to dangle off the bed. “No, you finished the cereal Thursday and never told me to pick up more, plus there’s no milk left,” Ten retorts, voice muffled behind the white door and at the sound of his—your—friends laughing, you feel like screaming. “Then go out and buy some more!”

“___, there’s like fifty eggs in the fridge, plus it’s past twelve and loverboy is starving, don’t you want to cook for T—“

“Okay, shut up!” You shout, accepting defeat rather than embarrassment and whipping the blankets away with an annoyed sigh. Picking a crumpled tee shirt from the floor, you pull it over your head with a certain irritation and make way for the door, swinging it open and glaring coldly at the grinning boy despite the heat growing on your cheeks like sunburn. “I hope you rot in Hell,” you hiss, jabbing a finger into his chest and stomping past him.

In a weak attempt to move past your guests as quietly as possible, you direct your attention to the floor and scurry through the living room quiet as a mouse, embarrassingly aware of loverboy’s—as Ten called him—presence. “Morning, ___.”

Caught. “Good morning,” you sigh, finally averting your gaze to look at the trio and offering a feeble wave. Maybe if you just pretend that he isn’t here, you can survive the day. However, as soon as your eyes land on Lee Taeyong and all his glory, hot rosiness is already burning its way up your neck quicker than before and settling on the apples of your cheeks. Curse you, you want to say, mouth sour and stare fixated on the brunette for a heartbeat too long until he smiles and you embarrassingly hurry on to the kitchen.

If it’s not for the incessant growling of your stomach, you truly contemplate opening the refrigerator door just to slam it back on your head; however, even though you would never admit it, cooking breakfast for Taeyong remains to be your first and foremost priority on this lovely afternoon. And so, no matter how much you don’t want to, you smack a cast-iron pan loudly on the stove and twist on the gas, pausing to count with your fingers how many eggs you’ll need before eventually just grabbing the whole carton.

You see, developing a crush on one of Ten’s friends was never part of the plan. To be entirely honest, you had laid in bed the night Ten first moved in, tucked delightfully in your duvets wondering how in the name of God you were going to survive just a week without falling for him. However, as time went on, Ten’s fiery attitude and the fact that it seemed as if his friend Johnny was the one who in fact moved in based on the amount of time he spent in your shared apartment made it quite painless to get over the brief obsession in your newest flatmate.

And while Ten does have a mentality spicier than sriracha, you could not find it in yourself to complain when he brought not one but three friends over two months into moving in. By that time, you were fairly close to Johnny, considering he was knocking on the door almost every day (at this point, you had already settled on the idea that the two were one hundred and fifty percent dating, although you would never ask), but had zero ideas that Ten even had other friends, let alone met them.

And to be quite frank, you did not expect another two attractive men to enter your life. Jung Jaehyun, quite possibly the most angelic human you have ever met and Lee Taeyong, the greatest threat to your existence.

Perhaps you would not have fallen so quickly if it was not for the fact Ten was adamant on having the three over every fucking day. The first time you met was a terrifying case of embarrassment; you had been sleeping in when you woke to quite possibly the loudest noise to ever enter your eardrums. And so, with speed faster than light, you fled from bed with nothing but measly undergarments to see what sort of Satanic ritual Ten was pulling, only to find two strangers grimacing at an enormous box now flat on the floor.

It was painfully awkward, from the moment they noticed your ghastly presence in the doorway, to the realization they just dropped the new television Ten just bought, and finally to the fact you were practically naked in front of them. Without even a glance to their faces and with a noise akin to a frightened mouse caught in a trap you spun back behind the door, slammed it closed, and dove back into bed, shivering under the covers and planning your plan of survival that included never leaving the one hundred and twenty-seven square feet of your bedroom.

However, five hours later your stomach had a mind of its own.

6:07 PM - To Ten: i will literally do absolutely anything u want ever in ur life if u bring me cereal

6:07 PM - From Ten: No shot

6:07 PM - To Ten: oh my god ten please

6:08 PM - From Ten: I think my friends need an apology for seeing ur titties this morning🤧

6:08 PM - To Ten: please dont do this to me im so hungry i will literally do anything

6:08 PM - From Ten: Bj?

6:08 PM - To Ten: yes an infinite everyday

6:08 PM - From Ten: hmmmm

6:09 PM - From Ten: nah

6:09 PM - From Ten: come get food urself

With an infuriated, muffled scream into the downy pillow, you hurl your phone to the mattress before leaning up and mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of teasing from your sinister flatmate. Sighing obnoxiously as you exit your bedroom for the first time in almost twenty-four hours, absolutely nothing in the entire fucking universe could have prepared you enough for the unquestionably perfectly crafted specimen of Lee Taeyong.

Upon first glance, you barely noticed his figure hidden in the corner of the room, simply a monochrome silhouette concealed in the darkness. It was not until the hues flashing from the television lit up the dark space with brightly colored shades from a commercial did he come into view, seated on the farthest side of the sofa. He was like a single brilliant star on a sky of perfect midnight velvet, a star whose gravity stole the air from your lungs and left you breathless in the doorway upon first glance.

He was by far the most alluring human you have ever seen.

“Hey ___!” Ten suddenly shouted, cutting your train—or lack thereof—of thought into shreds and replacing it with your previous hatred. “Die,” was all you said, earning a chuckle from someone, although you could not seem to care to find out who and instead continued for the kitchen.

“How’s your day been?” He continued, yelling from the other room and you contemplated whacking the side of his head with a cast-iron pan. “Don’t talk to me,” you shouted back while rummaging through the refrigerator, only to pull out a container of half empty white rice left over two days prior and a gallon of Breyers Extra Creamy Vanilla from the freezer.

“Are you grumpy because of what happened this morning?” He singsongs, followed by just leave her alone from an unknown voice as you grab two spoons and slam the drawer close. He was truly pushing your buttons. Ice cream, rice, and spoons in hand you made way for the living room, paused midway, and mercilessly pegged one of the metal spoons at Ten.

It unexpectedly hit him square in the forehead, creating a chorus of oohs from the others and you beamed. “Don’t forget who owns this apartment, Chittaphon,” you sneered, gracing his friends with a beaming smile before spinning on your heels and marching back into your bedroom.

Needless to say, Ten found it in himself to never tread that deep into your patience again and even apologized the next morning. However, the image stuck in your brain of whoever sat in the corner of the living room could not go without questioning.

“Hey, who was over last night, by the way?” You asked as Ten took a seat on the couch beside you, flicking between different television channels. “Taeyong and Jaehyun.”

“Which one had the pink hair?”

Ten huffed, throwing in the towel when it came to choosing an adequate channel, “Taeyong, why?”

You shrugged, “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not dumb, c’mon. You think he’s cute?” More than cute.

“I only saw him for like, a millisecond,” you sniffed, waving him off and returning to your assignment. “Good news. They’re coming over again tonight!”

You groaned, throwing your head back onto the plush cushion and kneading your eyes with your knuckles. “I didn’t pick up enough groceries to feed a whole soccer team,” you sighed, lolling your head over to blink at him. “We have eggs?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Tae will help you.”

And only after a proper introduction when Johnny, Jaehyun, and Taeyong arrived an hour later, you found yourself in the talons of a trap designed to drag you down into the depths of drool-worthy dreams and endless nights of “being in your bag.”

When it came time to cook a meal for the new clan you found ravaging your apartment, it took no less than half a minute for the cotton candy haired art-major (something you found out about him during some unacceptably adorable small talk) to jump up from his spot on the loveseat to aid you in any way possible.

“You like cooking?” He asked as you passed him another egg to be whisked, and you laughed heartily. “No, I just have to so I don’t blow all my money on takeout,” you explained, shrugged, and then followed with, “well, I don’t know. If I had time to cook out of enjoyment rather than survival, I would probably like it.”

“You should, it can be really relaxing,” he said, voice luxurious velvet as he poured the whisked eggs into the hot pan. “I don’t really know any recipes,” you shrugged, watching with quiet admiration as he went through what minimal spices you had while simultaneously folding the eggs into what would eventually be an omelet.

“Oh! I’ll have to show some you one day, then,” Taeyong grinned, and no matter how hard you tried you could not fight the rosy blush warming your features.

It was at this moment you realized you were royally fucked. There was absolutely no way of getting out of this one, you told yourself, and it was a constant reminder nearly every day when him, Johnny, and Jaehyun made their entrance. It was especially obvious on days he came over after class, the top few buttons of his shirt undone and revealing an inch too much skin that made your insides crawl, or the alone time you shared when he would help you in the kitchen, when one day over the course of three months you realized it had gone from two strangers forced to feed a group of helpless college kids to a pair naturally creating meals together, including a handful too many hip bumps, tickles, and any other type of physical touching to be categorized as just friends.

“No way,” you blew Ten off one morning when he asked if you thought you would ever date Taeyong, “he doesn’t like me like that.”

When all he did was roll his eyes, some part of you truly did drop with disappointment. For if he had said, “You should hear how he talks about you,” or, “You really are a dumb bitch,” then maybe you would have had some hope. But his lack of response confirmed your thoughts: Taeyong was an unattainable love.

Four months later, you and your now crimson haired friend dragged an absolutely wasted beyond repair Ten into his bedroom, flung him onto his mattress, removed his shoes, and patted him a good night.

“Sorry you had to deal with him,” you frowned, making way for the tiny kitchen and offering him a water in which he graciously took. Lord knows, if you had known he was coming, you would have been more prepared. And yet there you were, in nothing but an oversized tee shirt in front of the man who held all the stars in his irises and the very being of you in his hands.

“Don’t worry about it,” Taeyong smiled, clicked his tongue after taking a sip of water, “either way, I got to see my gi—you.”

Realizing his miniscule slip-up, Taeyong’s eyes grew the size of saucers, as did yours. My girl? Was that what he was going to say? You gulped, windpipe suddenly dryer than any desert on Earth, heart bumping frantically in your chest because holy shit, were you to blow it off or act on it?

Taeyong cleared his throat, and you did the same, an awkward tension suddenly filling the room thick like syrup and you were suffocating. “Anyway, I’m gonna head home. G’night, ___,” said Taeyong, offering a weak pat to your cheek. You watched him in silence as he left, and as soon as the door shut behind him the world came crashing down, the walls suddenly seemed to shrink and you hopped off the barstool in order to save yourself and sped to your bedroom in a rush of excitement and undeniable shock.

Only two days later you saw him again, a mini celebration in your apartment for the end of the semester with a bit too much soju involved. You found yourself curled into his side as the antics settled down further into the night, however alcohol still had your nerves on fire and you were hyperaware of Taeyong’s hand on what was exposed of your waist where your shirt had ridden up, long fingers drawing random patterns onto the bare skin and you could not breathe.

“___,” he said, you turned from the loud Raymour & Flanigan commercial blaring from the television to look at him, eyes wide and honest and his heart lurched. He suddenly could not find it in himself anymore to ask if he could stay the night and instead languidly studied your pretty features, face hovering closely above your own so you could feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks and he did not know what to do.

“Taeyong!”

Ten shouted and the two of you jerked back, the serene moment suddenly popped like a bubble and you wanted to scream at him for ruining the possibilities.

The exchange between Taeyong and Ten turned to nothing but marbles in your ears, the idea of kissing him much too loud and growing from a small mustard seed hidden within your brain to an enormous tree. Except now it was in bold font and flashing every color known to man because there was no way he was actually going to kiss you, right?

Fast forward nearly a month later and here you were, found in yet another treacherous predicament as the man of your dreams sat only feet away. The past twenty-seven days were the worst of your life, you tell yourself; for every time you close your eyes, all you can picture is all the diminutive moments shared with Taeyong since your almost-kiss, every insignificant touch, every drawn-out ogling, every unnecessary compliment that only increasing became worse because Ten told him that you liked him. And instead of bringing it up, too fearful to do so even though you are convinced he must like you back, you push it away, avoiding any possible interaction that will lead to your potential collapse.

And so, when a, “Hey, do you want any help?” erupts from just around the wall, you nearly drop an egg when every muscle in your body freezes because yes he’s here but no get away. “Um,” you sniff, glancing down at the dozen eggs and then back to the boy sporting hair the shade of oozy caramel, “sure.”

You go on in silence, continuously passing Taeyong an egg to be cracked and then throwing out the shells, and you are telling yourself oh, this isn’t too bad until he decides to break the relative silence, “I like you.” You blink, squint at the wall before moving around him to wash yoke from your hands, hearing the words from those damn kissable lips makes your legs burn and heart thump at a rate that definitely is not healthy. “I know,” you finally answer, voice clogged in the back of your throat so you continue, “I like you too.”

“I know,” says Taeyong once you look up at him and he bestows upon you a toothy grin.

“I’m glad that’s settled, then,” you laugh breathlessly, leaning into his side as he scrambles the eggs, cheek pressed against his bicep, “you’re bulking up, I like it.” Taeyong drops his head to look down and you glance up with a smile that cannot seem to leave your face. “Jaehyun said the same thing,” he grins, pulling his arm away so that you must pull away but, just as your lips start to pout, he pulls your body close and wraps his arms around your waist.

In a sudden surge of courage, you raise your hand to trail a finger down the razor-sharp edge of his jawline, something you have dreamed of doing for months and now that you are finally able to, you do not know whether you will ever be able to stop. “Wow,” you almost say, breathlessly infatuated by his presence, however, the sudden pressure of his lips upon yours steals your breath furthermore and suddenly everything is all him and you pull yourself closer, air hitching in your lungs, nerves fizzing with sparks, melding your mouth against his own as the anticipation of kissing him over the past months has reached its boiling point.

“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” Taeyong asks once you have pulled away, lips swollen red. “That’s the general plan, yes,” you laugh softly, planting a milder peck on the side of his mouth.

.

.

.

“Does anyone smell burning eggs?”

[beerzandbarz]

Kanye West, Intersectionality, and what?

Whether it be from various music releases involving himself and others, or the political landscape within America, conversations and feelings regarding Kanye West are just about as enigmatic as his interviews. However, it wouldn’t be fair to start this writing with Kanye West as we know him from 2016 until now. In order to understand the wide scope of thoughts and opinions, we first must go back to a young music producer from Chicago, with an unparalleled ego and drive. Jay-Z’s “The Dynasty – Roc La Familia” album was released in October of 2000. I was a Jay-Z fan like most young black teenagers in America. I would buy the Roc-A-Wear gear, wear the silver chains as if they were platinum, and purchase albums from arguably the greatest rapper ever. The stand out single from the aforementioned project was “I Just Wanna Love U (Give it to Me)”, produced by the hottest track makers of the time; The Neptunes. The joint was flat out funky, from the drum loop and synth guitar, to the sexually suggestive hook performed by Pharrell and Omillio Sparks. As the 1st verse began, you had Jay-Z paying homage to the late/great Biggie Smalls rapping, “When the Remy’s in the system, ain’t no telling will I f*ck or will I diss em”, you probably know the rest. The premise of the album was a collaboration of Roc-A-Fella’s current artists, with Beanie Siegel, Memphis Bleek, and Jay-Z carrying most of the load.

For me though, it wasn’t the single that l fell in love with. As with most hip-hop albums, you typically find yourself playing the “album cuts” more than the singles. These are the songs that end up being more relatable, as the artist delves into deeper and more introspective topics. “This Can’t Be Life” was a song that featured Jay-Z, Beanie Siegel, and southern rap pioneer; Scarface. Each of them shared stories regarding their personal pain and suffering, exploring the harsh landscapes of their very existence. Each verse was heart felt, really playing to the title of the song and how rough life can be. What made the verses even more poignant was the musical background provided by Mr. West. A sped-up sample of Harold Melvin’s “I Miss You”, laid on top of a drum loop similar to Dr Dre’s “Xplosive”, provided the perfect marriage of beats and rhymes. It was soulful, gritty, simple, and refreshing. The portion of the song sampled, displaying the pain in the singer’s voice, was a perfect compliment to the pain demonstrated within the verses. This was my introduction to Kanye. From there, I followed along as he transformed from producer, to one of the most brilliant creators within Hip Hop. He was a champion. Someone that everyone loved as the underdog. A person that transcended the culture, and rose to prominence within Hip Hop simply because he believed in himself, and wouldn’t let anyone tell him what he couldn’t do.

Kanye was also very vocal. He said/did things at times when most wouldn’t dare. Everybody remembers the famous “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” statement during hurricane Katrina in 2005.  From a black perspective, it felt as if he was speaking for us, at a time when most felt as if the government’s response to hurricane Katrina was poor to say the least. Fast forward 13 years later, and the sentiments of the masses regarding Kanye are at the other end of the spectrum.

After the 2016 election, Kanye West came out publicly while on tour, saying that had he voted, he would have voted for President Trump. This year in an interview with TMZ, Kanye said the following regarding slavery: “400 years? That sounds like a choice”. Actions like these, amongst others, have kept Kanye in the public eye, and in countless conversations across the social media stratosphere. The once beloved Chicago artist seemed to be moving further and further away from the hearts of fans within the Hip Hop community. How could someone who once made the comment about George Bush, now publicly endorse a president who might be viewed in a much darker way, especially amongst the black community? However, many loyal fans continued to support the artist, citing that even though sometimes his message isn’t centered or easy to follow, there is usually something substantive to glean from his many controversial rants. My personal feelings regarding Kanye are very wide-ranging. I dared not to speak on Mr. West publicly, in fear of looking hypocritical by changing my stance based on some newly released interview of him down the road. However, I began to question if that fear was a bi-product of the politicized and polarized climate that we live in. This is a time where things such as civil discourse, nuance, and intersectionality are very rare. If you are conservative, you have to speak as a conservative at all times. If you are a liberal, you have to be liberal at all times. Right and left, black and white, gay and straight, male and female, are all things that sit at opposite ends of each other, with no middle ground in sight.  Someone stepping outside of their identity group, and speaking a different language, regardless of any intent may come as a detriment.  This is why the idea of someone wearing a MAGA hat, while sporting a Colin Kaepernick sweater can seem like the most insane thing ever. This is why going to sit in front a villainous president, being apart of a culture that is supposed to represent the disenfranchised, is completely off limits.

Some of today’s foremost public intellectuals are wary that the current political climate, may very well leave us ripe for even tougher times ahead; societally changing times. These are the thoughts of those that believe in free-speech, conversation and debate around complex ideas, and belief that truth and honesty are paramount. They might also say that these things are fading. So how does Kanye West play into this you might ask? Well, at that level…. I am not sure if he does. However, I find the entire Kanye ordeal to be compelling and perplexing, as it brings about a wide variety of topics around issues such as: politics, race, fame, celebrity, mental health, change, free-speech, and much more. These are all topics that you can find heavily discussed in the news, and many other media platforms available in this age.  Unfortunately for Kanye (and all of us frankly speaking), we cannot escape our past. His life in the public as a star, who we saw him to be, and his evolution to today has left us with a polarizing question: is Kanye West making some sort of peculiar, misunderstood attempt at intersectionality and peace, or is Kanye West a crazy, selfish entertainer, using this moment to elevate himself for his own personal brand?  The two proposed questions reflect most of the posts, comments, and conversations I have heard regarding Kanye within the past year. Personally, I believe that he is on some weird journey of peace, trying his hand at intersectionality. However, there is also that skeptical voice of reason that tends to fire back, doubting his intentions. Either way, the uncertainty is fine with me, as the idea of not being dualistic may leave room for further conversation.  At a larger level than Kanye, that very idea may prove useful to us in society in general. But…I just drink beer and talk about rap (Kanye shrug).  As always, let us continue to keep our pints full, while being forever ready to scream at each other in the name of hip hop.

 OT The GoldN’ Child

[necryptoss]

CHALLENGE||4

<<Previous

“Shishigooouuu!”

Kairi bolted awake. The knocks persisted at the door.  Glasses fell off his nose, pens clattered and danced over the floor. He blinked several times, trying to regain his bearings. Seated at a wide table, glass,metal, and old classic bone fixtures stirred, bubbled, moved with experiments. Organs in jars  dotted  the space with layers of sticky notes. Necromancy had been always been a dark and horrid type of magecraft, even in the light of this cozy office space.  Papers under his hand bore  scribbled notes of the layers of curses to keep blood oxygenated outside the circulatory system, how to keep the heart pumping  on its own, or instructions to reanimate the nervous system.  

“Shishigou!”

“C-Come in! Come in!”

Shishigou shuffled the papers, separating them. Within the mix were his own thoughts-- wonderings about how he got here, or what he remembered that didn’t match up with the life he had now. A war, a city... He was renowned, celebrated for his achievements, yet had to catch up on his own progresses and advancements.  He worked with projects and what was given to him,  saw his daughter, then spent restless nights up working more on his circumstance. He was a deadman wearing his own skin, trying to adjust to a life he didn’t know he had.

An mustached older man entered the room in company with a younger gentleman, hair slicked back.  Even after working with them, Shishigou could not recall their names, but it did not matter much; mages were never one to remember those they stepped on. “ Sleeping again, eh?” Mr. Mustache barked with a laugh. “ You’re going to work yourself to death, boy. Not even your father worked this much in his day. A real night’s rest might be good for you.” Guilty as charged, it seemed. “ Eh,  there’s just too much to do. I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” the necromancer replied,  letting it come naturally and honest. He hugged his personal papers.

Both of the men laughed aloud, hard.  He didn’t understand what so funny about self- deprecation, but smiled nonetheless. “Yeah, I doubt you would. You’d be back doing work.” Mr. Hair-Gel snorted. He stepped forward and waved his hands in an excited motion. “Anyway, anyway!!  Yo, were you excited for the Clock Tower visit?  They’re looking forward to seeing your work. There was even rumors of setting you up to be a Grand one day. “ “A Grand…?”  Even Shishigou quieted in awe. The highest rank granted by the Clock Tower, above the best and reserved for the few who really excelled.  He must have only been in his early 20’s now, right?  The idea of prestige quickly dug its claws into insecurity. This wasn’t his success to continue-- he wasn’t  even sure what he had achieved. He had no choice but to accept. “Yeah! A Grand…” Mr. Hair-gel sighed .Stars danced in his eyes . “Man, think about it. I’d be working and learning under a Grand Magus.”

Shishigou  took a deep breath and held it within his chest. Tight, too tight. “  That’s a lotta pressure. When.. are they coming again?”

“Hmmm. Next week.” Mr. Mustache scratched his nose.  “They’re looking forward to seeing your work. Pretty remarkable, I’d say. ” “Everything’s going well, then?” Mr. Hair-Gel  gave him a thumbs up, which somewhat eased Kairi’s concern. “ Been following your instructions all this time. Everything’s perfect.”

“Oh, good.” Shishigou exhaled. He had time. He turned toward the desk, grabbing other papers and handing it over. Just like last time, just like times before.  “ Ah, here, before I forget,  I figured out the issue with blood coagulation in those samples you gave me.. That should fix the issue...” “Excellent. We’ll see to it.”

----

Mr. Rabbit needed a friend, they had decided.  This Saturday was spent at the mall, between brightly colored walls full of miniature clothes and small children darting from wall to wall to dress their new stuffed animals.  Kairi, like many of the parents there, thought it was best to find a designated spot and let their kids come to them when they were all done.  He found the whole idea charming. Something he never got to do. At Leila’s age, he was already working with corpses--but, the metal rod rammed into the ‘skin’ of the stuffed animals  before and as they were stuffed was pretty macabre as it could get.

“Kairi, Kairi!” Leila trotted up to him.. “What do you think? Doesn’t he look cool?”

She had picked a lion-- The ‘Shishi-”  in Shishigou.  That was an easy way to be welcomed into the family. The toy’s mane was tufted in different angles. Fabric sunglasses stretched around its head. To match, it was dressed in a pleather jacket, pants and boots. “ It kinda.. looks like me.” Kairi answered absently, then realized how strange that must have sounded when Leila made a face between a laugh and skepticism. He touched the lion’s nose. “---IF I had long hair, that is”

“ I think you’d look weird with long hair.” “Not cool?”

Leila snorted and shook her head. She adjusted the jacket on the toy. “ Nah. You don’t have the cool jacket anyway. That’s what being a cool lion is all about.”

Kairi hummed from his throat, feeling out of place. He placed a hand on her head. “Alrighty, you, let’s go pay.”

----

A beautiful day to go sailing, just as Kairi  promised. The weather cleared like the pulling of curtains to blue skies.  They set out in the morning. A small boat just for the both of them, and something that he could manage on his own for the afternoon with minimal damage to himself or anyone else.  Not a cloud in the sky, the winds and harbor were calm.  While their boat was no means impressive, he made sure  to rent the one with a colored sail.

Leila delighted all the same, waving to everyone they passed. She even got Kairi to wave with her, no matter the distance. They were closer now, he figured. Out on the water

They waved back again and again.

Kairi’s hand steadied back on the rudder. His other was wrapped in rope to adjust the sail.  His smile was tired, but content. Leila pushed her bangs out of her face as she settled back to sit next to him. Her nose was sniffly, and the lifevest was a size too big. “ Having fun?”

“ Yeah!” the girl beamed. “More  than I thought I could. I wonder when we can do it again.” Leila’s eyes suddenly looked dreamy. It was that same hope he remembered before he had given her the family crest. That hope that killed her long ago, he remembered. His heart ached. “ Anytime. Just don’t tell them I brought you out here instead of giving you lessons. I’m sure they wouldn’t like that very much. ” Shishigou sat back.  Distant voices reminded him to strengthen the family crest despite her health. She was Kairi’s next in line, expected to go beyond his own skills. He was still proud of her nonetheless.

“ I promise.” she held up her pinkie to prove her point. Kairi responded in kind, hooking his with hers as she spoke again, just as gentle as the flowers she ushered life back into.  “ But.. your birthday coming up? We always do what I wanna do. What do you want to do?”

“U-uh… I ?” Kairi hesitated. The voices that nagged him at work vanished. He was left with the silence of sorrow, a gravestone in the back of his mind. He hadn’t celebrated his birthday in years. Each year that passed since her death was another he wasted living. His daughter had died before he could ever celebrate with her the greatest gift he could possibly receive: her.  

“ I don’t know…. I gotta think about it.”

He did his best to hide the struggle in his voice. Every year he stood before that gave.

-----

People congratulated him left and right as he passed by, thanking him for the invitation and the chance to see his work up close. Having a drink in his hand proved a smart and effective way to cut down on the handshakes and introductions.  They asked him about his published papers, or general questions about necromancy-- like bringing things back to life.  What a good joke. Still,  most of it felt a buzz. Not that he didn’t believe their enthusiasm-- he was never good at parties. He answered things automatically, as he only hoped the Shishigou they knew would. The longer he stayed here, this place, the more he wondered where he was supposed to be. The talks, clinks of glasses and laughter…  What a different world than he was used to. Necromancy was often ridiculed. Majority of Necromancers fell to ruin chasing impossible dreams. It took the exceptional few to sway opinions. To think,  that was him.

It was surreal. His thoughts drifted as he did around the party floor. Shishigou took a sip of his alcohol.   The city he was in before this one… It touched several times and universes. Infinite possibilities. Was it possible that he was placed.. In a wrong one?  Or perhaps… because he died in an old war, he had no other place..? But.. what of the Shishigou who built up this reputation..? Were they back in the city in his stead?   Did he.. take away his dream too?

Depressed at the thought, Kairi pat at his pocket for his cigarettes, only to sigh heavily. That’s right. He didn’t smoke here…

“ There you are, Shishigou. We were wondering where you went off to. You’re keeping them waiting, yanno.” Behind him, Mr. Mustache's voice, wiggling that mustache under his scrunched nose.   “Oh.  My bad. There’s just so many people.” Shishigou’s gaze drifted around as he rubbed the back of his neck. His collar felt too tight around his neck. “ I thought I was supposed to meet them out here? I figured eventually, I’d run into them. ” “You won’t do that wandering around like a zombie for them,” His colleague puffed in a half laugh. “ Easier in the offices. Quieter too. All your stuff is there anyway. Come on.”

With a nod, Shishigou followed and left the party behind to the familiar halls he had grown used to working in.  He was quiet the entire way. He made it this far. He twirled the stem of his glass.

“---The poison was meticulously scrapped from the subject postmortem before being integrated with the--  Ah,  Shishigou.  Perfect timing. We were just about to leave. Hope you didn’t mind me going ahead.”

Famous magi waited in his office. All from the far reaches of the Association were present, each the eyes of a vulture waiting to pluck his carcass clean. His theories proved to be a waste of their time, the Shishigou family would die with their ruined reputation.  Mr. Hair-Gel had properly entertained them with explanation. “No, not at all.” Shishigou raised a hand. “ Thank you for helping me all this time.  It is every bit of my success as it is yours. After you.” Mr. Hair Gel  nodded affirmatively, and ushered the group back out into the hall.

One of the magi, sharp nose to match her sharp eyes,  smiled at his modesty and handed back a photo back to Shishigou’s assistant as they walked out.  From the glance, he saw a body depicted, and frowned.  “Very ambitious, Mr. Shishigou,” Ms. Eagle whispered. Her nails drummed on her arm like waiting talons. ”No one in the history of modern Necromancy has managed that level of clarity with the deceased, let alone retain memory or emotion on that level.”

“It could all be hogwash,”  another grunted, dark and oily hair.  Mr. Raven continued gruffly under the talk of Mr. Hair-Gel.“ How do we know to believe you. We have to see it to believe it. Could just be faking it this entire time. Bringing people back to life, bah. Perform the rite for us, will you?  Kill me where I stand then bring me back.” Kairi grew only perturbed. He must have stopped breathing. Impossible. It was impossible. How deep were they willing-- “Now, now.  That would ruin the curses at work and undo everything Shishigou has done. ” Mr. Osprey,  black hair streaked with white and tied back, cautioned. “If it has persisted for this long, let them keep at it to see how long it lasts. Using the cause of death to help facilitate the growth and potential of a crest is groundbreaking, not to mention the intricate and delicate process to replicate life! Ah, or perhaps truly bring it back. Imagine what you can do.  It’s been, what, a year now since you started the project, is that right. Shishigou?”

Mr. Osprey turned to look at him but the necromancer was silent. They stopped in front of a familiar door.  Windows in the wall opened to a simple hospital-like room.  The lighter were dim, but it was unmistakable.

Leila waved at him, smiling as she normally did when she greeted him.

Slowly, he waved in return--

“Yeah…”

He brought her back. His stomach twisted in a knot, disgusted. He knew. He knew himself too well. No excuse covered this atrocity born from grief and desperation. It was out of love. Love. Stupid, stupid love.

Just as the Shishigou family dealt with devils, he had dipped too far to become one himself, crossing borders  where magecraft should never go.  All his work made sense now, the problems he was given to solve weren’t independent but for the continued upkeep of Leila’s body. All the samples, hers and compatible pieces. She was nearly perfect.  While he toiled privately, his assistants saw them resolved, instructions followed.. He contributed to it, he contributed to this madness. fine-tuned it. This was dangerous, but worse, this was what he was to be known for: the Necromancer who brought  his dead daughter back to life.

His entire body stiffened.

He wanted to vomit the feelings of grief and apology that came with this existence, this other…. Shishigou’s. They did not belong in a body that stood resolute in anger. How could he do this?

Mr. Hair-Gel spoke but Shishigou barely listened.

------------------ NEXT >>

[studypet]

Studyblr Q&A/Introductions

Hi! I'm new to the studyblr community, so when I spotted @studyessie Q&A I thought I'll adapt it a little, and use it as an introduction 😊

What’s your name and how old are you?

My pseudonym is Pet and I'll be turning 18 soon!

When’s your birthday?

My birthday is on the last day of school in May!

How long have you had this blog for?

Only a couple of days 😂 but I've been on tumblr for five years now.

Favorite flower?

Tulips or sunflowers 🌻

Favorite movie?

Umm it has to be a tie between God Help the Girl/Juno/Interstellar/The Grand Budapest Hotel and a bunch of others I can't remember!

Favorite color?

Blue!

Do you play any instruments?

I can play (very badly) the tin whistle and the ukulele 🎶

What is your most favorite thing in the world?

Ooh...this is tough. Probably my cat (sadly he passed away), my family and my godson.

What is your guilty pleasure?

Probably writing very bad poetry and recording myself reading said poetry and other poetry 😂

What are your goals for this blog?

I joined because I wanted to find others who are studying subjects I'm thinking of doing in uni and also for holding myself accountable for my own studies!

Favorite tv show?

Recently, I really loved Derry Girls, End of the F*cking World and Stranger Things.

Favorite food?

Again, very difficult question! I love ice cream 🍦, sushi 🍣, fish 🐟, pasta 🍝, I could go on!

What job are you striving for?

I'm really unsure right now, hence my struggle w finding a college course. It will probably be something in the business/technology stream. I would also like to be somehow involved with the medical device industry.

What is your favorite subject in school?

I love history and English (however the course doesn't cover my favourite parts of English so it's not my favourite class at the moment)

Country you want to visit?

I've travelled a lot, but I'd love to maybe see Japan or more of the Netherlands.

Any advice? (This one can be more personal :)

My greatest flaw is putting too much effort into friendships. Sounds wonderful, but I neglect my own wellbeing and often end up getting used by manipulative people. Always put yourself first.

An item you would splurge all of your money on

I'm quite frugal, so I don't really ever 'splurge'. If I was to, it would probably be makeup or books? I spend most of my money on coffee ☕️

Do you have a job?

Nope :( I don't have enough time to hold down a job as well.

How much time do u spend on hw every night?

Probably about 5-7 hours.

How do you take/edit pictures for your studyblr?

I haven't experimented with photos yet so I can't answer this, sorry 😐

Favorite conspiracy theory?

Hahahah I don't really believe in any of them or know any 😂

Something that scares you?

I'm very bad with heights. I don't like the dark or scary films either!

Do you like rain and/or thunderstorms?

Both! Where I live it rains all the time so I'm don't mind it at all ⛈

What is your go-to order every time you eat out?

I don't eat out but if I do, it's usually Chinese, so a peanut satay. In cafes I'd usually get a salad. Mostly I get coffee when I go out so..

How did you start bullet journaling?

I used to bullet journal, but it took up more time than it was actually useful for so I stopped. My school uses these books called homework journals and while no where near as pretty, they're a good organiser.

How did you find out about the studyblr community?

It was a couple of years ago but I think I came across it on instagram first and then tumblr when I looked up 'study motivation'.

What do you love the most about the community?

I love how so many people take the time to write out lengthy posts with tips, ideas and advice. It's incredibly useful and they're doing it for free. It is a real kindness ☺️

How has the community been beneficial to you?

I've found a lot of good tips on productivity and study, and the support people give each other is brilliant, especially when you feel like you're drowning under your schoolwork.

What do you wish would change about the studyblr community?

I don't know if I've been *involved* long enough to really answer this!

Any advice for those who want to join the community? (Again, can be more personal)

Well, I'm only starting too but I suggest following everyone you see and then go back and unfollow those whose content doesn't suit you.

What did you expect to get out of joining this community?

I expect find some supportive people, increase my productivity and hopefully do well in my end of year exams!