#goshhh I'm rambling

[cut-aare]

I'm exploring acrylics better for the first time! (The very first one was a flop lolz)

[savannahsdeath]

heyy! this is my first time asking a request but can you do more mafia ellie? i love her sm omg 🤭

MAFIA!ELLIE X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! mentions of ellie not having time for reader;(( finger sucking? cum eating just smut and ellie ending up shoving her fingers in your mouth because .

writers note: inspired by @seattlesellie 's fic though hers about abby 🤭(read it here) .. i found it days ago and just couldnt get this out of my head goshhh and finding it again was so hard !!

: ̗̀➛ "yeah, good fuckin' job." ellie mumbled in a raspy whisper.

you could see her arm muscles tense as her grip on her phone tightened. you bit your lip and threw your head back, leaning it on her shoulder.

it wasn't supposed to be like that. not at all.

: ̗̀➛ she told you she has a day off - well, she's her own boss, so she could have one any day, but her job is hard to take a break of. there's always some problems or complications. or unexpected calls, like this one. of course, she apologised a hundred times before picking it off (not really, she just murmured a half-assed 'sorry, babe'), but it didn't make it any less annoying.

: ̗̀➛ so you ended up pressed against her chest with legs spread wide open, making room for her right hand, which, much to your surprise, didn't slid out of you.

"ellie—" you let out a desperate mewl, feeling her fingers slow down as her focus shifted to the person on the phone.

she shushed you, planting a loving kiss on your neck, which only added fuel to your neediness.

"i know." she whispered, curling her fingers inside of you to prove her point. she straightened up as if whoever she was talking with could see her previous posture. "uhh, yeah... could you repeat?"

her every move would force a sound out of the back of your throat, every touch of her lips on your neck whenever she wasn't the one speaking left dark marks on your skin. you held onto her hand, digging your nails into her forearm what didn't bother her at all. being silent wasn't easy, it took lots of self-control which disappeared in ellie's presence.

: ̗̀➛ it was even harder when the "good fuckin' job" turned out to be something more like "fucked job". that's when you finally earned her focus. her fingers found the perfect way to calm her down, take some anger out and let her listen to your beautiful moans. you really tried to be quiet, but all you could do is purse your lips, what only muffled all the little whimpers.

"look, if you don't figure it out till tomorrow, you're fucking dead." she hissed, her frustration spreading through her whole body - from head to toes.

you felt the electricity cumulating in her fingers, you felt how mad she was. oh, yes, you felt that.

"i—" you whined, tugging on her arm to get even more of the attention.

"hushh..." she clicked her tongue, turning back to her phone. "i'm not kidding. your wife's gonna get your head as a christmas gift, if i'll feel generous."

every single word that escaped her mouth caused another gasp from you, because you didn't really listen to how harsh her statement was, you just enjoyed her raspy voice which was perfectly sychronised with her fingers. when she spoke slowly, her movement would also slow down, and, oh, how much you wanted to beg her to hang up.

"i don't care— no, shush, shut up." she hissed, but you felt better at the thought of you not being the only one who has to stay quiet now. "i have no idea how you'll do it, but you will, or i swear to god i—" her slim digits digged into you as she kissed your cheek, mumbling a tired; "fuckin' idiots" close to your ear while pulling away.

the man on the phone must start to get nervous, as his pathetic voice was now audible even for you. he kept apologizing and rambling nonsense, though ellie wasn't really interested in his excuses. plus, she had other things to do.

she used the little break as much as she could, pumping her fingers in and out of you and even slightly withdrawing her phone from her ear so she could listen to the sticky, dirty noises. nuzzling her face in your neck, she let out a long hum, either satisfied at the sound or to make the poor man think she cares. maybe both.

eventually, she continued her conversation. not forgetting about a disappointed, dramatic sigh first, of course. "any last wish?" she asked with an obvious smirk.

his voice raised even more, now not only apologizing but begging her for forgiveness. ellie never hurt any of her 'workers', unless they were traitors, so the fact that he took her seriously seemed unusual and, at some point, hilarious.

: ̗̀➛ you were so close, finally, after minutes of this torture - of your satisfaction disappearing for a few seconds just to come back... just to leave again, making your neediness take over. you bit your lip and looked at ellie, plopping your head on the crook of her neck. she felt how fastly and roughly you exhaled against her collarbone, grinning in amusement. you shifted, pressing your back even harder to her chest so you could feel it raising and falling as she breathes. your eyelids fell, making you get lost in a dark maze of every possible sense but sight.

"ellielliellie!" you whined, her name rang out in the dense, cold air.

your voice could be definitely heard on the other side of the phone, though the man didn't even stop his panicked rambling, what probably meant he was too busy to notice it.

she tsked as your throbbing walls clenched around her, her soaked fingers dripping on her palm. the ache which was persistently located somewhere deep in your body, maybe in the core of your bones, and didn't want to let go of you finally subsided. your hands almost unconsciously rested against your sides and as you opened your eyes you could see little moon shapes left on her forearm, where your nails digged into her.

it took you by complete surprise, not giving you time to react - though you wouldn't do anything anyway - before your pornographic moan got cut off with her digits sliding inside of your mouth. your saliva pooled down as your teeth grazed her flesh; salty and,, callous. her palm rested against your chin, forcing you to keep it raised.

"el—luhh" you tried to mumble but it came out as nothing like your girlfriend's name. it was slobbery, unclear and— disgusting.

she turned back to her phone, making you only able to guess what her expression was but she was, without a doubt, smirking. your tongue flopped flat beneath / against her fingers, earning a hum from ellie. as your pouty lips closed around her, her digits moved in deeper, causing you to gag for a second.

"c'mon, you'll live." she rolled her eyes, and you weren't sure which one of you is she talking to now - you, or the man who thinks he fights for his life, when in reality his 'threat' doesn't even listen to him?

your view range was violated by her grip, but you could see how unbothered she was through the corner of your eye. you could feel it - feel that her thighs don't tremble and clench, or that her breath is steady and deep, unlike yours.

as she shoved her fingers almost knuckles deep in your mouth, she spread them as if to gesture scissors and you swore you can read her mind, so you twirled your tongue around them, cleaning them up. your own juices got replaced with just as messy saliva, which small droplets cumulated in the corner of your lips. you couldn't help but suck on her digits, and the action itself made your eyes watery.

"you'll stay silent now, 'kay?" she spoke up in a mocking tone, and you couldn't tell who is she talking to again - no matter which one of you it was, you knew she wasn't asking and you hoped that the man realizes it too.

still, you nodded, making her whole hand follow your movements, what almost felt like she's the one controlling your body's reaction.

"of course you will." she cooed in a serious voice, though there was a different undertone - laced with taunting sweetnes.

✧˖°

[squerlly]

MEEE I WANNA BE FIRST PICK ME!!!! PLEASE PLEASE ALASTOR X WIFE READER AS SHE WASHING ALASTOR HAIR AND BODY FOR HIM SINCE HE GOT INJURED DURING THE FIGHT BETWEEN HIM AND ADAM AND SHE USING HER ABILITIES TO HEAL ALASTOR BUT WHILE SHE DOING THAT IT'S BREAKING HER TO SEE SHE ALMOST LOST HIM (I HOPE THAT MADE SENSE SORRY)

oh my goshhh I would love to do this request *cough* *cough* not because I'm a simp for alastors or whatever... but I do love some good alastor angst so enjoy!!!!

-SFW- -ANGST- Alastor x (f!wife reader) TW: slight spoilers to the show!!!

Alastor, y/n

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the battle with Adam and the exorcists, and rebuilding the hotel you head up you and your husbands new room, helping him to the bathroom to set up a bath for Alastor to get cleaned and tend to the wounds on his body. helping him get settled in the warm water you begin to squirt strawberry scented shampoo, washing his hair to help him relax and get clean. using your magic to help him heal you think back on the fight hearing Alastor wince in pain "you should have been more carful!!!" "I know dear, I just- argg!" "sorry love, its gonna sting a little just stay still....". hearing your husband in pain hurts you more than anything in the world, you don't know what you could do without him...tears form in your eyes threatening to fall, what if...what if he couldn't get away what if he died. feeling hot tears fall down your cheeks there quickly wiped away. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you..." "don't be sorry my dear it wasn't your fault, it was my recklessness", he says as he wiped away your tears "I never want to loose you ever-" "and you never will, ill always be here..." it hurt alastor more to see you cry rather than him getting hurt, to him nothing mattered more than your happiness and whoever try's to lay a hand on his wife will never see that hand again. "don't cry mon amour, after all your never fully dresses without a smile" giggling as he pinches your cheeks making you smile setting a wave of pride to wash over him. "thank you love, I feel much better now...BUT don't you ever scare me like that again!!!" "I wont I promise" he says as he gives you a gentle kiss "I love you mon amour" "I love you to alastor"

WOOO 2 requests in one night!!!, I hope you guys enjoyed this I tried to make it longer without rambling on but please enjoy and now I'm going to sleeeepppp

-squerlly

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

I give many rounds of applause for your take on Agatha! This may be an unpopular opinion, but when I was seeing a lot of posts saying Agatha was submissive to Rio, I just…it didn’t sit right. Dynamics in relationships can always change, of course, but..it just didn’t feel right with me. Agatha is so strong, so powerful, and there are so many layers to her. Of course she can have any relationships she wants, but she’s so much more than that.

ANYWAY. - steps off soapbox -

Also, please enjoy this (because I sure did!):

https://youtu.be/m1hhAQYBXTU

- 🌸

Oh my goshhh thank you <3 I'll admit, after what I was seeing on twitter and by certain people on here I was kind of terrified to post that. I think everyone is entitled to their opinions, but certain people in this fandom are just so full of hate and seem to want to make others as miserable as they feel and it's sad to me :/

With that being said, I agree!! I think there are a few reasons why people feel that way about Agatha/Rio, but I personally just don't reallyyyy agree with them. I think with Agatha, the most important thing to her is her power; her magic. That's something she has always been able rely on, which is most likely why being without it is so terrifying to her. That scene with Billy at the end of episode 6 really demonstrated that to me. The way she talked to Billy was the most tender I have actually ever seen her interact with another person so far (Señor Scratchy excluded), and I think a part of that has to do with her seeing part of herself in Billy. Healing generational trauma, anyone?

Now, Agatha like you said is soooo layered, and I haven't given too much thought on what her relationship with Rio was like, but based off what I've read in interviews before and during the show, it feels like they enjoy pushing the boundaries of what the other can handle. The games, the fighting, all of that. Not exactly the healthiest but I mean...Agatha doesn't exactly scream "cottage core sapphic romance" to me, hahaha. Was she able to let her guard down with Rio? Absolutely, and I think that's why the original betrayal hurt her as much as it did. Sorry this was a bit of a ramble, but alas yes I do agree with you!

ALSO ahhhhh!!! Kathryn Hahn singing Shallow. What a gold mine of a video, I'm actually friends with the person who recorded that, and she is an angel ahhh. This made my afternoon thank you so much for sharing, I hope you're well!! <3

[reapkusho]

Lil ramble because I wanna talk about it >:))

Sooo the guy who hit my face with a volleyball about two weeks prior now talks to me :3 and honestly? He's pretty nice. He's nerdy and he likes history and he likes lost media (and media history by proxy ig). Goshhh I thought that was pretty cute. I've never met some guy like him they're all loud and annoying idk

And you know what else??? He said he only talked to people he considered "normal" and I was like me? Normal?? Girl I have a tumblr account (/hj) anyway I mentioned that I probably have some kind of mental disorder and he was like yeah I thought so. I was like huh??? And he said he's actually in the process of getting diagnosed for autism. He says he's getting pretty tired of masking :( and that he doesn't feel the need to when he's talking with me!!

And I'm like AWWW WHAT THATS SO CUTE WTFFF IVE NEVER BEEN CONSIDERED SAFE BEFORE

Ahem anywayyy, I wanna keep talking to him ^^ should I add him on Facebook? (Poll because I want to know)

[shortkingshapeshiftr]

Little Ramble

Now that I'm almost done watching Brother Bear, I can't help but resonate strongly with the salmon run segment. Accompanied with the song "Welcome," I love the "vibes" this part gives me.

Kenai, as a bear, trying to adapt to bear-like activities, and becoming one of them reminds me of myself as a transmasc person. I too want a sense of family, a sense of belonging among other men and masculine people without being cast out. Tug, even though he's unsure about Kenai's past, accepts him into their bear family happily.

Goshhh I wanna write more about this movie!!

[xstarkillerx]

hi ! i got so excited seeing you in my inbox . i’m a rly big fan of yours it made me do a little dance when i read that u like my content !! once i get my tags in order im gonna be able to reblog some of my fave works of yours :)

- anakincentric

Oh my goshhh hi blade :D! I can't believe you like my stuff that makes me so happy!!! Yeah, I'm a huge fan. If you'll allow me to like.... ramble about it, Daddy content is something I'm really really particular about, it's not the easiest to get right imo, especially when it's for anakin, but you do it so wonderfully every time. There's such a palpable tenderness to the way you write him without losing the essence of the character, it's like... anakin doesn't baby you because he thinks you're sweet and innocent and can do no wrong, he doesn't believe anyone is like that, but rather he sees you worthy of being treated that way, even when you're taking things to extremes like threatening suicicde or asking him to be a father figure. He's the ultimate enabler because he's decided he's in love with you. Like, that's the subtext I get from everything you write, it's so fascinating and sweet, I love it! Keep doing what you're doing, seriously

[ey-there-little-guy]

I think that maybe having size shifter Tubbo as being able to change others before he can change himself is sort of symbolic of his character? Maybe it’s emotional/how he sees the person too so one day Tubbo and Technoblade brush hands and the techno shoots up to like 200 ft and Tubbo almost gets crushed or he goes to hold micheal and the little piglin becomes utterly miniscule. And Tubbo tries to stop touching people but that just makes it worse whenever he DOES

OOH, that's an interesting idea!! :D Sorry I don't understand what you mean by it being symbolic, that's probably my bad if you want to elaborate (which you don't have to, just if you do!). But, the idea Tubbo spontaneously learns he can shift others sizes before he relearns how to sizeshift himself or something like that sounds like shenanigans waiting to happen. <3

cTubbo is a pretty logical person, he doesn't tend to let his full thoughts or feelings of someone be known to them, so when his sizeshifting abilities start making other people shrink and grow upon physical contact? If that person understands sizeshifting and Tubbo enough to take a guess at what their new (temporary) size says about the way Tubbo views them?? And if they don't understand at all and are freaking out over the change? Both are good. Oooh, depending on who, he's gonna have to acknowledge some feelings I think. But he doesn't want to so he tries to stop any 'situations' by pulling away from touch, but he can't avoid that forever and that's peak angst material.

That idea for Techno is fucking epic angst too, idk it reminds me of a scene from a tubbo animatic (Under the surface, one of the best ctubbo animatics ever imo) where Techno is shown to seem giant for a second and klsdjflkjdfkg dang, you're so right about that.

Oh gosh if Michael was getting smaller and smaller and smaller like that, I can see Tubbo feeling a bit freaked out, that's his son!! And he's not even able to shrink and join Michael! What if that worry makes Michael shrink even more and Tubbo isn't sure how to handle it, but he'll do everything to keep Michael safe and happy until he's goes back to normal size.

On the flip side there's also the possibility Michael could grow out of love, emotions are complicated and I like mixing up how they're expressed :] imagine a mini-giant sized 'little guy' who wants to play swords with you or hold his chicken. Just, Tubbo loving him so much it makes his heart feel so full and it manifests as Michael getting big enough to reach the top shelves he shouldn't touch stuff on, lol.

Same with Tommy, tbh, could grow from love or shrink from it, if Tubbo has been particularly worried for him lately. I don't think Tommy would like being very small ("no it's not just cause I'm shorter than you Tubbo, although that does feel fucking unnatural") but if he's somewhere safe with Tubbo I bet they could have loads of fun!! It's Tommy's turn for hand cuddles.

Hmm, Quackity and Ranboo would grow but for different complicated reasons, Ranboo might even grow more than Quackity did.

And the fact Tubbo doesn't want people to be shrinking and growing because of him, trying to bottle it up and making it so even little brushes of contact have disastrous effects... Oh my goshhh <3 he's gonna have a much harder time than he already does.

I went on a bit of a ramble but this was interesting to think about. ^-^ these ideas for sizeshifter!tubbo are so fun, thank you for the ask!! :D

[gixxie]

Sooo happy to get to this! Yes nile LOVE THE ENERGY. No one knows who you're masturbating except you and maybe your dead loved ones. Also help the mental imagine I just had of nile jacking off in the shower? Hitting my inhaler.

Gosh no I can't imagine your hot dilf boss finding you in a strip club. I would disappear on sight. He would never hear from me again. Now you see me, now you don't. 1st ticket to Narnia pLEASEE.

Please I love miche and Erwin acting like concerned parents and friends all wrapped in one. Nile honey sweet baby, time to get your dick soaked. We won't let you wallow in fantasies any longer.

We stan the kids warming up to another adult figure in life. I know it's gotta be hard with divorce. Side note very random but did Liv and Maddy come from anything by chance? 👀 Maybe I'm wrong from assuming that skhsjskss.

Omg babysitter reader working hella hard, salute.

STOP I LOVE HANGE HAHAHA. yes no blackmailing here. Nothing to see 😏😌

Help did the boys know we worked at the club and they're playing matchmaker? Am I giving them too much credit?

My heart 😭😭 the fact we don't wanna cut time with Nile children. Like I feel like most would be like "gotta blast these tuitions gotta pay itself."

Wow we're becoming a sugar baby in 0.3 seconds I love this for us.🥴🥴🥴

Okay nvm miche doesn't deserve credit. The sexy MF just got lucky.

Okay I'm loving the guilt and disgust this man feels. Yes wallow in that, then wallow in the fact you're still harder than a rock. Yes fight the pervert in you. Just makes it hotter when you fall prey to your desires 🥰🥰 gonna put a lid over him and let him marinate in the guilt some more.

My heart aches for him. That awkwardness with Marie, knowing you had history together and a bond at one point in time, loving each other for 13 years to being strangers now, to reliving the pain of when everything changes. Gosh you're good at conveying the emotions Nile feels of a failed relationship. I just wanna love him like he deserves😭😭

Gosh this is feeding that age-gap feeling. I love our gaze is all on Nile. Like you think I want the sleazy young men when there's this FIONE dilf in front of me?! Nonono. Come here daddy.

Also I'm so giddy!! I'm loving this fic is from Nile pov. Watching him pine after reader, finding love again. PLEASE. the subtle vulnerability and him being self conscious cause he's not as young as he used to be. And the fact he's divorced. Goshhh I'm eating this up.

Him daring to hope we might feel to same towards but also telling himself he's overthinking, looking too deep. It's like that when you have a crush yeah? Liking someone but scared of rejection, to get your hopes up. But the feelings grow. AHH sorry for the ramble I'm enjoying this sm.

Nile trying to distract himself RELATABLE. But also my heart. It's easy to run away. To ignore the problems. 😭😭 Get it together bby. Let me help you grow some balls.

AHHH WE GET SHORT INTIMACY. YES AND THEN WE'RE COCKBLOCKED. ERWIN I LOVE YOU SM BUT WHYY. HELP. NOT MICHE COMING IN, RECOGNIZING US AND AVA EAR HUSTLING. I'm howling. Please I would have skedaddled. Begged the ground to open and swallow me. OSHEKEND

STOP I LOVE MICHE SM HE'S A MENACE. NO HELP AT ALL HAHA.

wow my heart, PLEASE Nile thinking he can't be love or desired. I love Erwin and Miche are so supportive of him btw. The homies trying to uplift and remind him of his worth.

Screaming crying throwing up, we're having a chat. And this man confessing. HELLO???? SLAMMING MY HAND ON MY THIGH. yes pls take care of me. And let me take care of you.

Okay I'm dying cause more confessions and we want to take care of him. HNNNG it's fine. I'm salivating. Nile BEGGING?! hello I'm breathless. The moan, I have horny tears in my eyes.

Sweet Polly on a cracker we're making the dilf beg and whine. I'm a mess. Gosh I'm obsessed, he's down bad and the praises we receive once we're seated on his cock? HELLP.

The sensual sex and then we're getting flustered after. I love the ending. There's sm that needed to happen, discussions etc. But for now Nile is appreciating the happiness and I fucking love that for him. You deserve to be in love and happy bby. Fuck me single dad for the WIN.

This was a pleasure to read!!!

Pairing: Nile Dok x F!Reader (Modern AU) Word Count: 8.1K Warnings: taboo relationship (father x babysitter), lingerie, masturbation, swearing, strip club, alcohol, nudity, divorce and discussion of joint custody, age gap (reader is 22 and Nile is 40), sugar daddy arrangement, feelings of guilt and shame, subby and dom Nile, striptease, lap dance, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), mild cum play, daddy kink, vaginal sex, creampie, showering together A/N: I can’t stop thinking about Nile, so here we are. Enjoy! 😜 IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT INTERACT!

Nile Dok had no intention of ever seeing his daughters’ babysitter in lingerie.

In real life, at least. What he thinks about while jerking off in the shower is his own business. He’s certainly not proud of it. And it’s not like he’s ever planned on making those fantasies a reality.

But here he is, sitting on a plush velvet seat in a private room at a goddamn strip club, tipsy on cheap shots and beer, his crotch covered in bright pink body glitter.

And there you are, standing in front of him in a flimsy G-string and a sheer, sequined bra, your eyes wide and unblinking.

“M-Mr. Dok?”

And Nile says the only word he can think of at this exact moment.

“Fuck.”

Keep reading

[rollercoasterwords]

hey lovely, i just got around to reading the chapter rn and let me just say i am in so much awe. the way that you portrayed what dorcas and marlene are dealing with rn and love tangled into all of that made me absolutely crazy. it’s so so so soooo interesting and honestly so real and raw.

i’m going particularly crazy about the situation dorcas is in bc essentially by trying to keep marlene safe she’s pushing her away and in multiple ways too. there’s the fact that she just isn’t telling her all that’s going on with voldemort, which obviously we saw doesn’t feel good on marlene’s end and just breeds more mistrust, but there’s also the fact that she sort of took matters into her own hand and did that deal with dumbledore about keeping marlene out of danger, which listen i get but it doesn’t end well for either dorcas OR marlene and they both just end up more hurt and honestly knowing how this all ends is just very fucking heartbreaking bc we as readers know that it doesn’t matter in the end. there were multiple lines that literally had me like absolutely stunned just bc of how well they portrayed the situation and the emotion and just in general the toll that it’s having on both of them.

“She thinks it is killing the part of her that knew how to love, maybe. Her kisses all feel like wounds these days.” this mf line. i had to put my phone down for a bit i swear. fuck i love love looooove characters with depth and dorcas in this fic>>> she loves marlene so much that she’s doing all these things to protect her that are chipping away little parts of her that know how to give that love.

“You’re acting fucking insane,” she hisses, because she knows it will hurt Marlene—and that’s love, isn’t it? Dorcas wants to crack open her ribcage and crawl inside, she wants to chew the meat of her heart like a bloody steak, tender and soft and melting off the bone. Isn’t that love.” this is another fucking one. u deserve jail for this one. no no. it plays with my emotions and it makes me FEEL things. ur not understanding the brainrot i’m having rn. i finished and chapter and immediately reread bc that’s how much i loved it. idk but genuinely i think this has been my favorite chapter so far. i usually get so frustrated seeing situations like these, esp bc of the whole miscommunication aspect of it bc like we know the whole picture so it’s easier for us to understand where the characters and coming from and why they do certain things, so it’s frustrating that the characters in the story can’t but like no u just did it in a whole other way.

all the metaphors that u used to express love in this chapter. all the fighting and like anger and emotions and LOVE.

i’m obsessed with ur portrayal of it.

another quote:

“It is impossible to imagine what she feels for Dorcas could ever be anything but destructive; loving her is like trying to keep warm with a forest fire, like trying to quench thirst by swallowing an ocean.” no bc this quote. i FUCKING LOOOOVE the way you described love here especially considering marlene’s circumstances and didkwkdkd fuck i j wanna ramble and ramble but it’s lowkey super late here and i need sleep and idek if this made ANY sense and i SO MUCH MORE to say but first i’m horrible at articulating my thoughts i hate it and second like i said i need sleep so like sry sry if this was a waste of time ajd made no sense but yk. yeah just know i love ur brain and ur writing and u. just in lcoe ekth this fic. 10000/10 goshhh u are amazing. i’ll shut up now. maybe in the morning i’ll try to coherently word my thoughts but who knows.

ahhhh jumping up and down and clapping my hands thank u for taking the time to send such a long message!! i'm so glad you liked the chapter it was definitely more of an intense one lol

and YES the situation with dorcas exactly like it is just. i talked about why exactly she's not being honest with marlene in this post but yeah essentially it's just one of those situations where everything is coming from a place of love and a desire to protect marlene and keep her safe but that's not what marlene wants but dorcas doesn't care because she'd rather love marlene wrong than risk losing her and i just!!!!!! look i know i wrote it but i wrote it bc that dynamic specifically makes me go insane so i'm right there with u lol

ahhh the kisses feel like wounds YES i'm so glad u liked that line the whole question of like how far do we go for love what horrible things are we willing to do for love what pieces of ourselves are we willing to carve up for love....yes yes yes

and the love paragraph ahh that's another one of my favorites i am literally thrilled to hear that it gave u brainrot i am planting mold spores in ur brain and watching them grow >:) and yes the frustration of knowing why characters can't communicate and seeing those walls between them and wishing they could see them too...again i know i wrote it but it gets me every time!!! like they don't want to hurt each other they each just want to leave a mark on the other that no one can take away and they're living in an environment where the only marks left on anyone that can't be erased are from violence and just....yeah. yeah <3

and love as destruction!!! love as a forest fire!!! love as an ocean!!! i am simply obsessed with portrayals of love that contradict the idea that love is a happy ending or something that fixes everything like i love examining love as something dark and violent and dangerous THANK U for rambling to me abt the ch i loved the rambling!!! please feel free to ramble in my inbox anytime i know i'm responding to this a little late so i hope u got some good sleep lol <3

[pannacottawarrior]

Me wanting to show off my new coloring and shading skills to my parents: hEY MOM LOOKIT THISSSS I DREW THII-- *sUDDEN REALIZATION THAT I'M GONNA SHOW THEM A GAY ASS DRAWING* UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Mom: ???????????????????????????

[k0kichiimagines]

Omfg board games with the RFA IM CRYING AJDBWJDH-

ALSO PLEASEEE I COULD RAMBLE FOR SO SO LONG ABOUT EVERYTHING IN THIS GAME MUAHAHAHAHABAH

One of my favorite headcanons is the Choi twins playing video games together. Remember how in the hospital Saeran threw the gaming console at someone? ;-; but that moment with Saeyoung saying that games are fun and leaving it beside him so he could play as well I'm- omg the feels ajdbabdbwbs

ALSO

THE WHOLE RFA PLAYING THOSE VIDEO GAMES WHERE EVERYONE CAN PLAY- Y'KNOW THOSE PARTY ONES- MARIO PARTY WAS IT? 😭😭😭

I can imagine Yoosung being kinda decent, Zen and Jumin are always arguing but it's low-key funny, Jaehee is tired but she has fun playing with everyone, Saeyoung is OVERDRAMATIC AND IT'S F U N N Y AS FUCK- and Saeran just goes with everything, thinking that you and Jaehee are probably the most normal ones here lmfao

CAN YOU IMAGINE VANDERWOOD JOINING TOO?? He would be so done with everything but still crack some sarcastic jokes I'M-

I like to think that he visits often or even lives with the Choi twins and you akdhahdhsh I like to imagine him one day joining the RFA as well.

IMAGINE HIM AND SAEYOUNG IN THE CHATROOMS LMFAO AJDBAJDHSHSB HE IS SO DONE BAHAHAHAHAHA

Vanderwood actually gets along with you so he might usually talk to you or even Saeran the most lmao, IMAGINE THEM GETTING REVENGE ON SAEYOUNG FOR THE PRANKS HE DID BAHAHAHAHA

Also I agree with the after ending. It kinda made me sad that the RFA didn't really talk much and everyone went their separate ways but they are all okay and you basically live with the Choi twins somewhere away. I personally like the Secret Endings more because the RFA is still together and does more parties in the future tho V ;-;

Goshhh don't even get me started on V in the Secret Endings, I was low-key so sad. Y'know that image where he tries to see but became blind? Y'know where he is on his knees and looks in front of him- THAT SHIT HURT LIKE A BITCHHHHH

Then I play the other stuff where he is still there and man, playing his route made me kinda sad, especially this image here

HIS VERY SMALL SMILE-

He can be so so cute sometimes AND THE WAY PEOPLE DRAW HIM GAHHHHHHHHHHHH AHDBAHDHAHDHAHDHAHS /POS

While I'm extremely satisfied with the Secret Ending, I do wish V was still there :< but at least it also had a happy ending. Saeran is trying to heal and the RFA continues forward!

I'm fighting the urge to throw scenarios I have-

FINE IM GONNA THROW ONE IN-

Can you imagine the whole RFA going to the beach together?? Like that one image:

But Saeran and pretty much Vanderwood joins as well? :O

I feel like Saeran with Vanderwood might just watch from the side as everyone else plays in the water and even volleyball haha

Also the Summer Seasonal Chats are so fucking funny, I was in tears from laughing so hard 😭✋

I WANNA JOIN THEM SO BADLY REEEEEEE

BUT BUT BUT IMAGINE SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN EATING ICE CREAM WHILE SITTING TOGETHER ON THE WARM SUN AND WATCHING THE CLOUDS, KNOWING THEY BOTH ARE FREE AND EVEN TALKING GAHHHHHHHHHHHH

ANNA CALM DOWN-

N O-

LMAOO MARIO KART / PARTY W THE RFA THAT WOUKD GET SP CHAOTIC

I hc yoosung is good at video games, but terrible at some board games JSHDND

vanderwood have to be ' forced ' into playing,, i hc him as having the kind of relationship of begrudging older brother to saeyoung, he definitely visits sometimes!! hes closed off, but slowly speaks more

Vs story is so sad :( sometimes when i think about the reset theory i had anothet theory of rika being the original mc but perhaps just in a platonic sense for some and then romantic for jumin and v (jumin just because there was a potential implication of feelings),, and therefore rika is the one who is kind of altering the game?? a bit like monika,, it reminded me of when someone said the game almost wants you to think v is the villian, when hes the victim,, a this probably makes no sense lol

anyways! i do think v is such an interesting tragic hero,, i like to think you, saeran and saeyoung just take a year, maybe two, just travelling and doing whatever, then come back to the RFA,, and then maybe a year or two after that a very healed V returns. it would be awkward, and im not sure if the twins or jumin, or even yoosung, would accept him back. maybe they would, it might take a strained relationship for a few years,, hes also v pretty ur right

the twins are only 20, they have hopefully years ahead of them both <3

WHAT ALSO MAKES ME SAD IS THAT SAEYOUNG AND V NEVER GOT TO TALK IN HIS ROUTE??? v died before saeyoung got to know everything, and he was passed out anyway,,, pain

YES I LOVE TJE IDEA OF THEM AT THE BEACH saeyoung and mc / you are going to have to teach saeran how to swim, he's never done it before

saeyoung pushes yoosung into the pool, he probably tries it to Vanderwood LMAODJFJ

YES THATS SO SWEET,, THEY GET TO ENJOY THEIR FREEDOM NOW, AND THERES NO RUSH EITHER,,

when saeran learns how to swim i can see him enjoying splashing people sometimes, he splashes saeyoung

but yes vanderwood is just observing, it would take convincing to get him to join,, but jumin oftens seems to like to sit back, so he keeps him company

maybe vanderwood would go if jumin gave him ideas of cat projects </3 poor jumin no one (but saeyoung) wants to listen to his cat projects

[pannacottawarrior]

dsfegrhdtjykulyifv tHANK GOD I FINALLY GOT XSPLIT TO WORK >:OO OH MY GOD THAT TOOK AGES

[pannacottawarrior]

Me around a year ago: i finished updating my blog!! :V new theme and everything!!! will replace the 'Test' page as an 'My OCs' page soon!!!!!!! Me around a year later: wow i need an OC page Also me: bITCH YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING UPDATING THAT TEST PAGE EVER SINCE JUST FUCKING DO I-- Me: wow i am sudden feel tired. can't do. must slep. Also me: wHYYYYYYYY

[pannacottawarrior]

mY HEAD HURTS JESUS CHRIST I HATE GOING TO CENTRAL LONDON;;;

u gh;;;;;;;;; anyway interview went okay i guess;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i just;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; need to lie down;;;;;;;;;;; jfc;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[cut-aare]

I'm exploring acrylics better for the first time! (The very first one was a flop lolz)