#good news is she's curbing the bad mental vibes just as I thought she would. I love my little crumbus my silly baby cat.

[critterpick]

sorry Ive fallen behind on drabblecember already gang, the odd sleep patterns from adjusting to having crumb home has finally taken its toll on me...Im so eepy 😭

[yniswaifu]

The bet - 1

You look at the crowd in front of you, eyeing each person for a split second before turning to other. They were talking, they were smiling, they looked happy. Everyone around you and your group were in similar situation – talking, smiling, being happy. But how do we know it was genuine?

Someone tapped your shoulder. You snap back to reality and look at Osamu, the gray head who was also your boyfriend. He had a questioning look on his face, but kept quiet and just smiled at you. You too, smiled back and finished the rest of your food on the lunch tray. Ten more minutes till the end of lunch break.

While you and Osamu weren't the type to be openly affectionate, with the maximum being a kiss on the forehead, the same couldn't be said about the blonde guy sitting across you. He had his girl on his lap, and his head tucked in the crook of her neck. To you, that looked uncomfortable as heck.

"dude, we're in school. Please curb your love." Osamu chimes in, a distasteful expression on his face. His hand was on top of yours, and the other held the special pork bread you get every Friday.

Your eyes turn to the girl, who was blushing at the comment made by your boyfriend. She was pretty, and popular. But she was also nice. So nice that she will might as well take her heart out for you. Her kindness irked you as well, because in today's world kindness was rare, and you weren't sure how genuine that kindness was. You observed her some more. Her hands were intertwined with the blonde's, and she looked happy. Her happy face made something in you hurt when you looked at the 'genuine' love in her eyes, and the 'genuine' love in Atsumu's eyes. Something in you hurt so bad, it made you angry.

You look down and clenched your fist. Conflict was raging in you, making you feel worse with the seconds. You had to decide, and you had to do it now.

The bell rang, and you got up from your seat. Osamu offered to take your tray along with his, and Atsumu followed his brother - trying to be the gentleman he never was. Suna and Ginjima, the other two classmates and friends you had, they too went to keep their trays at the counter. You and f/n were the only people left.

You weren't very close to her. The relationship was confined till "the other twin's girlfriend" category. And since you and her hung out in the same group, you were friendly with each other. A blanket of awkward silence covered the both of you, and while f/n may look uncomfortable, you were scared. Scared of being fake.

"the boys are taking their time." f/n said, and smiled at you. Your eyes widened at her smile, and then turned to her frown. This is wrong. This is so wrong.

"yeah, it seems so. We'll be late for class." you reply, trying your best to smile.

"I know right. Should I go call them?" she asks, pointing towards where four tall dudes stood, talking about something.

You nod your head, and f/n walks over to them to call them. Shutting your eyes tightly, you pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. That's it, you have to tell her the truth. You can't continue like this.

When f/n returns with the rest of the gang, you stare at them blankly, void of any emotion as you feel drained. Osamu eyes you for a second, and quietly asks, "are you okay?"

His arms wraps around your shoulders and he pulls you closer as you all walked back to class. You were in a different section from others, as your grades were better than theirs. But that didn't affect anyone.

"yeah I'm fine. Just feeling a little tired that's all."

Osamu nods, clearly not accepting your answer, but he let it go for the time being. In the two years of relationship you two had, communication was never an issue. So he knew you will tell him sooner or later anyway.

The boys enter their class, bidding you and f/n goodbye. Atsumu places a kiss on her lips, while Osamu just squeezes your hand a little. You cringe at Atsumu and he sticks out his tongue at you before leaving. Again, it's just y/n and f/n.

"f/n..." you start.

She turns to you and smiles, tilting her head. "yes?"

"when the boys leave for their volleyball practice, would you like to walk home with me?"

You wanted to be direct, but you decided to do it nice and slow.

F/n couldn't believe her ears. The girl she admired was asking her to walk home with her. She wanted to jump in excitement but kept her calm. "sure." she smiles.

You give her a small smile as well, and enter your class. You were going to make it right, even if it hinders your relations.

***

You kick the pebbles on your path, waiting for f/n. Nervousness had a grip on you, but you knew that this was the right thing to do. Best or not, you weren't up for discussing that. You were also aware how this was going to affect the people around you, specially a specific pair of twins – one of who was someone you held dear to your heart.

Speaking of Osamu, your mind drifted to him, and his pretty poker face, and his subtle way of caring. He wasn't the most expressive in the block, but you knew, how much he cherished you. Not like you were any different. Maybe that's why you two vibed well, seeing both of you were introverts.

"let's go."

You see f/n approaching, a smile etched on her face. You force a smile yourself, mentally preparing for the upcoming storm.

It was awkward to say the least. You have never done anything like this before, and now that you have decided to be genuine and honest, all sorts of doubts enveloped you. None of you spoke a word, and you wondered what was going on in her head.

Meanwhile f/n is way too nervous to be walking with you. Being in a class below, hanging out with people like Atsumu and others was overwhelming. She may be popular for her looks or personality, but it wasn't like she asked for it. But when she had seen you for the first time, she was fascinated. She liked how well you kept yourself together, how you were honest with your words, and how cool you were in general. You didn't need someone's validation to make yourself better, and f/n really appreciated that. Sometimes she felt as if her way of living was inside of a bubble, and she wasn't exactly being herself.

For f/n, you were someone she looked up to, and Atsumu was someone she looked down at. His extravagant way of portraying himself for being one of the best volleyball player in Japan, and his superiority complex, got on her nerves. She wanted to avoid him as much as possible, and she did succeed. But not for long, because Atsumu's charms surpassed his cons and she soon found herself falling for him. It was pathetic on her side, seeing how deep she was in this ordeal, and developed a form of self hatred for lowering her morals. Or so she thought. That's why seeing and being with y/n made herself feel a little better, or worse, and she felt she could correct herself through the 'cool' senior who walked beside her in silence.

Soon the silence was broken by you, and you stopped under the streetlight, calling out for f/n. F/n turned to see a pitiful expression. It was almost like...you felt bad for her.

"is everything okay?" she asks, concerned.

Sighing, you meet her eyes and say, "no. It's not."

"huh? What happened?" she asks, confused.

Gulping the lump at the base of your throat, you continue. "Atsumu started dating you because of a dare."

There it was. The bomb. You dropped it without a warning, and the blast is going to injure a lot of people.

F/n stared at you for a good minute before speaking. "why...?"

Her blurred eyes signal the start of waterworks, but you chose to ignore it and continue. "entertainment." you shrug. "you weren't really into Atsumu, so everyone made a bet that he will make you fall for him in a month. And...he succeeded. The bet has been going on for four months now."

Your eyes were cold, f/n noticed. She wasn't sure why you decided to bestow her with this news, and why now. After four months of bliss and in love. Why her, of all the people in the world.

SLAP!

A hand flew across your cheek, the painful sting making it's way on your face. You didn't expect that, but you also knew somewhere deep down you deserved that. You couldn't bring up to look at the now crying girl in front of you, so you kept looking down.

"screw you all." were the last words you heard before the footsteps faded away.

Ah, I went and did it. You think, as your own tears streamed down your face while thinking of the aftermath.

Chapter 1 is up! Wow I'm nervous. Anyway, I hope you like it. The second chapter may be posted sometime within this week, so stay tuned.

Have a beautiful day. ✌️

[boogiewrites]

Reports and Repertoire Pt. 2

Characters: Eddie Brock x Candace Miller (OFC)

Word Count:  7800+

Summary: Eddie and Candace meet face to face. Agreeing to work together, they find themselves falling into an easy back and forth with each other given their similarities in morals and interests. This chapter follows the beginning stages of their relationship, figuring each other out and working together. A clear chemistry builds between them, and neither put very much thought into where it will go. Not yet anyway.

Warnings/Tags: Language.Fluffy, getting to know you.

Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes, asks and comments feed me to write more! Let me know if you’d like tagged in my work.

My Masterlist.

It's only a few minutes until her office hours are over. Candace is in the ladies bathroom with the best lighting, touching up her hair and makeup before catching an uber to a part of town she's familiar with. She volunteered at a homeless shelter in the area, a particular cause she'd felt drawn to once she moved to San Francisco. She'd taken people to eat on more than a few occasions, some frequenters of the shelter becoming friends, some acting as extra eyes and ears for her in the city.

What she'd been working on, and what she would be sharing with Eddie in about an hour was about these people. She straightens her white v-neck t-shirt over her fitted jeans. Boots to guard against the off and on all day rain are now resting under rolled-up hems of her pants, the slightly heeled black faux-suede looking a bit more put together this way. Digging through her purse she finds some lipstick and a necklace that she adds to the outfit. Her medium brown hair is in loose waves, luckily it was cooperating with the weather today and not frizzing completely. Her hip length, lightweight army green jacket with its many pockets and hood rests on the dark speckled bathroom sink counter as she tries to spruce herself up a bit. She didn't look fancy, but this didn't call for that. She looked...yeah she looked normal she concluded with an approving nod, letting her arms fall heavy to her sides as she rolls her eyes with getting caught up on how she looks. 'But you know he'll look good.' her inner voice says as she raises her eyebrows to herself in the mirror as to scold the thought. She looked good, she looked like she was grabbing some casual meal with a friend, and except for the friend part, which she hoped would change eventually, she was hitting the mark for what was needed.

She adjusts the grey faux leather crossbody bag on her shoulder as she stands fifteen minutes early in front of the pizza place. Her finger picks at the large press button on the front flap on her bag before she pulls her phone out of her pocket. She watches the mixed bag of locals, being too far inland for tourists in this part of town. There was a breeze as usual, the rain had cleared for now, the cracked concrete still damp.

"I'm here. I don't think he'll try to murder me so...just letting you know." she sends to Steph.

"If you go missing I'll know who to blame. Have fun. ;) " Candace smirks rolls her eyes, putting her phone back into her pocket. After growing tired of standing in the constant flow of people on the street, she decides to go in and get a table outside before the rush comes. If she waited too long, they'd be stuck inside where it was too hot and loud, she could watch for him from the covered patio.

Getting a small two-seater table on the edge of the awning she scrolls through her phone to recall details of what she'd been working on. The white noise of the city is disrupted by the rumbling of a motorcycle coming to a stop down the street. Her fingers that had been absentmindedly tapping her chin pause as she watches the man remove his helmet, revealing a handsome, familiar face. She figures if she's going to oogle, now would be the time to as she takes in the tightness in the thighs of his dark jeans, the neutral colored sneakers that complimented a dark t-shirt underneath a black leather moto jacket.

He ruffled the longer hair at the top of his head as he puts the helmet in the saddle bag of the bike. He adjusts the collar of the jacket, giving it a fluff before thumbing his nose and with a distinctly masculine, shoulder swaying saunter, he crosses the street. As he gets closer she puts her phone face down on the glass table top, instead of its usual place of the pocket of her coat that hung over the back of the chair, as it would be needed it to show him photos and give him names and addresses. He looks a little tired, a little shabby, but it still works with the whole vibe after coming in on a motorcycle. He looked more like a bad boy with a devil may care attitude than the journalist she'd watched that passionately defended the rights of others. As soon as his feet hit the curb her body reacts and stands and he looks around, it only takes him a moment to recognize her from her pictures and he's thankful she seems just as personable and dare he think even prettier in person. He gives a head tilt and a questions glance of 'that you?' much like a puppy, a pointed finger accompanying the expression.

Her appearance puts him at ease, he'd worried about a t-shirt and jeans coming off as this not being important to him but when he saw the same combination on her, although wearing it in a much more flattering, feminine way, he hides his exhale of relief as he approaches. With his hands still in his pockets, he nods and mutters 'excuse me' to people on the street as he's beckoned by her wave to him. His manners do not go unnoticed by Candace's watchful eye.

So she stands, two feet away from Eddie Brock. Inside her, a part of her was squealing with delight. He was just as attractive as he looked on the screen, well, actually more so once he opened his mouth. Instead of the more articulate and annunciated, projected masculine tone, she was used to hearing from him, his voice was quiet and raspy, a twitch of his lip and a slight stutter shows his uncertainty as he says her name.

"Hey, uh-Candace. Hi." he says with a nod of his head.

Her hand extends to meet his, a slight squeeze to test the waters between the two of them, she notices he wears rings, notes the typical finger an engagement ring would be on to be bare and she wonders how she never noticed the jewelry before on camera.

"Hey Eddie," she says in a sweet, smooth voice. Her voice was softer in person, a small hint of a smile stayed on her face as their hands shook before she motions to the chair across the table from her. "Thanks for meeting me on such short notice."

"Nah, don't mention it. Thank you for meeting me. You're the one helpin' me out." he says with a half smile and a much heavier New York accent.

"You've exposed serial killers and I write pieces on local bakeries trying to make the world's biggest cookie I think I'm the one indebted to you." she says with a full smile, a chuckle that shakes her shoulders slightly, the long silver necklace with a tiny looking glass pendant shakes and shifts over her chest.

"Ehh." he says dismissively in a dragging way. Before he can compliment her work, both trying to feel each other out. the waiter brings the menus. "Oh, thank you." he says in a genuine way, making eye contact and nodding in acknowledgment to the woman. He'd passed the first test, being nice to the staff. Look's like Eddie Brock acting like a dick wouldn't be a problem she'd have to navigate.

"You wanna split a pizza?" she asks casually, eyes on the menu.

"Yeah, sure." he shrugs, his head nodding in a show of cooperation.

"The Margherita is good. Classic. Can't really go wrong with it." her finger taps the menu and she purses her lips.

"Sounds good." he says, looking back up at her, watching her face.

"But the real question I suppose is where do you stand on pineapple on pizza?" she subdues a smile as he realizes she's making comedic banter to clear the air.

"Oh, I don't care either way. Pineapple's good, pizza's good, who cares?" he says with a purse of his lips.

"A lot of people. Surprisingly." she shuts the menu and he sees her shoulders relax. "Perhaps we should do a report on the oppression of fruit on pizza. Get to the bottom of that conspiracy." her brows are high and her face is warm and friendly and it eases any jitters that were left.

"Gotta be careful. Who knows which fruit is behind the takedown of pineapple. Don't wanna end up messin' with "big cherry" or somethin', they're nasty people." he grins and they both share a laugh.

With the tension broken they both fall into an easy back and forth. After ordering they cover the basics, talk about beer, about the city and each other. As the steaming pizza is placed on the pedestal in the middle of the table, he decides to start to talk shop after as they mumble with mouthfuls about how they made a good decision.

"So I've noticed you have a lot of pieces about the homeless population in the city." he says as she finishes taking an indulgent bite of gooey cheese.

A muffled "Mmm Hmm." before she swallows and nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, I volunteer at a shelter a few blocks down." she motions behind her with her thumb out. "When I first moved here I had nothing, and I mean, here it's just a few bad decisions and you'll find yourself homeless at any given time," she says with a slight frown. "But I know you've done lots of coverage too. So you're familiar with how the causes of being out on the street. From simple bad decisions, things totally out of their control, to more complex problems like mental health or the young LGBT community, veterans with PTSD that our system has failed." she pauses for a moment and sighs. "I mean I've met every sort of person working at that shelter. And none of them bad." she shows a sad smile that says a lot on it's own. He gives a small upturning of one side of his mouth in support of the notion. Her face is more serious now, she meets his eyes and he sees that spark that caught his attention in the first place. "I know I can't fix everything. But people are all people have." she bites her lip for a moment, looking down. "So I figured I would try to focus my efforts and I was drawn to this one specifically." her voice is quieter, he leans forward to hear her better in the bustle of the restaurant and street. "I figure starting with trying to give people the basic things they need to survive is a good start. Shelter, food, clothing, care. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. Especially to someone who isn't used to receiving it."

"Yeah it's...it's very important to know where your passion lies. And y'know, I can tell you're passionate about this, it's a big reason I wanted to work with you." he admits.

"Thanks," she says with a sincere huff of breath. "What's your passion then? What've you been working on?" she asks innocently enough.

Oh shit, here we go, he thinks. Here's where he tells her the truth and she leaves and he's back to square one. "Uh well, nothing as of late." he admits his nose wrinkles slightly as she tilts her head, showing the confusion on her face.

"I noticed you hadn't been uploading anything but, I thought you might've been working on something big." her brow is heavier, wanting to know more without being rude.

He lets out a sigh and licks his lips, leaning forward on the table on his elbows. "I'll be honest with you Candace." he begins, finding holding her gaze easier than he expected. "I made an enemy out of a very powerful man by asking the wrong things in an interview trying to get to the truth." his voice is more steady, a little deeper and self-assured than it had been earlier in the night. "I went for it and he blacklisted me a few months back." he says with a slow nod, lips tucked into his mouth.

"Oh." she says with wide batting eyes. So THAT'S why he'd reached out to her. It was starting to make sense now. “Can I ask who?” she adds softly. 

It was a perfectly logical follow-up question. "Carlton Drake." he says with a frown.

"Oh shit," she whispers, her chin pushing into her chest. "That's...yeah I bet that guy has a lot of secrets." she says looking away, he could see the wheels turning in her head.

"I get it if you don't wanna work with me now, Candace I do-" he begins with slumped shoulders.

"No!" she insists, her brow heavy and a shake of her head. Her hand reaches out unexpectedly and rests on top of his. The sudden touch makes his face turns towards their hands a little too quickly to go unnoticed. "No that's...that's not fair," she says quietly. "What kind of asshole would I be if I'm preaching kindness one breath and then turning you away the next?" with one brow raised she retreats her hand. "I mean that's...that's heavy man. Not going to lie. But, I get it." her voice is slow and low, thoughtful and far nicer than he ever expected. "It's hard to know where to draw the line when trying to expose something that doesn't want to be exposed. Especially when it's covered by a man with a far reach and deep pockets like Drake." she shrugs, giving a closed mouth, sympathetic smile.

"Yeah. It was." he says with a slight snarl of his lip and a flash of sadness in his eyes.

"Even if we can get what we'd need to make an expose' and get a station to buy it, it's not gonna be the sort of money you're used to. I'm afraid I don't have anything that would bring that much attention."

"Those sorts of stories are really rare, I wasn't expectin' nothin' like that." he shakes his head. "I just miss the work. Y'know?" his nose wrinkles slightly in earnest.

"Yeah, I'd feel lost if I suddenly couldn't work anymore. But then again my eyes and ears are mostly homeless people so...not a high chance of that happening. Guess that's smart looking out on my behalf." she gives him a supportive smile.

"Not the most credible witnesses in some people eye's but, you're right about that. You seem to utilize your resources that you have really well."

"Having you help me will make it more credible I think, blacklisted or not. You can't have sources, video evidence, and eyewitnesses and be ignored by everyone forever."

"You already have those things?" his voice inflects upwards, sounding impressed.

"No." she frowns for a moment. "But I do know how we can get them." her smiles turns sly and it's infectious. "Here," she says, picking up her phone, scooting her chair closer to him and he meets her halfway. They sit arm to arm as she flips through her phone. "I've got a bunch of notes I can send you. Some audio recordings from witnesses and victims too. I'll send you these address and names..." she continues her thumb moving fast. "Apparently the police have been targeting certain homeless camps. They'll go in, push people around and make them fight to not get taken to jail over bullshit charges."

He nods as his eyes move over her picture of a map with doodled on circles and notes of locations and dates. "These are instances?"

"Yeah. I have all the names of the people I've talked to, of course, all but a few come to the shelter, so most aren't hard to find and they're more than willing to talk to someone who will listen. The problem is getting it on video. I need structured, on-camera interviews. I need written and signed witness statements and those people preferably need to be able to appear in court or at least appear reliable in some way if this does go to a legal level. I need to get it on video, pictures too of course but nothing is going to sell this like video will. And being in the right place on the right night is really tricky as I've found no real pattern between where they go and when."

"You've been working on this awhile haven't you?" he says with an impressed tone, seeing the dates go back for months.

"Yeah. Those that can remember, I have the dates of arrest and the charges they were filed with...have their mug shots saved from the booking website to document injuries, which there certainly are." she moves her face to look to his not even a foot away. "My personal problem is it's not safe for me to go to these camps alone at night. I've wanted to go deeper on this for a while now but I have to be smart about it. I won't be of use to anyone if I'm in jail or in a hospital." she explains with a pouty frown.

"You're definitely right about that." he nods, wishing he had her sense of patience and self-preservation.

"That's where I thought you might come in." she smiles sheepishly. "I thought maybe if we both went...maybe we would be okay."

"Man...it's been so long since I've done work like this." he almost whispers, face showing his consideration.

"I mean, I get it if you don't want to, it's dangerous so I'd understand if you didn't want to do it."

"Oh, no Candance, I definitely want to. Didn't mean to come off like I was gonna say no."

"Oh thank God." she exhales with a laugh. "I don't have anyone else to help me with this. We can go to the shelter and I can introduce you so they'll know who you are. That way there won't be any confusion. We'll take all the precautions we can. But getting video of a cop not only isolating them but threatening them AND making them fight then taking them in..." she shakes her head with a tired look on her face. "That's gonna take a lot of nights out there, and it'll just get more dangerous each time if the cops get wind of what we're doing."

"You're not wrong there." the same supportive nod. "But the reward would be worth the risk." he says with a gravelly tone and shrug. "I mean, this is a direct, unprovoked attack on at-risk people. Doesn't get much lower than that."

"It's been bothering me, honestly. I try to compartmentalize this sort of work but it's hard when you get to know these people."

"Yeah." his voice soft and higher pitched. "I understand that too well."

"I was really hoping you would." he notices how breathy her voice sounds so close. She sounded so genuinely relieved that he would help her, when she's the one helping him in his opinion. He gets caught up in that fire in her eyes again, seeing now the yellow flecks that exist in the pools of brown.

The waitress interrupts with the check and they both snap upright.

"What's your email? I'll send you all this and the rest tonight." she says, thumbs already moving.

"Oh, it's easy just eddiebrock at Gmail." he shakes his head dismissively.

"Keep it simple. I like it." she smiles and nods, noting it anyway. She moves and reaches for her wallet as he's already reached for his. "Nope. Put it away Eddie, I invited you out, I got it." she insists.

"You not even gonna let me pay for my own?" he asks with a high pitched boyish laugh.

"Nope. We could've met somewhere without food and I brought you out here and I'm not gonna have you spend money just because I was hungry." she says with a shake of her head, standing and placing the small booklet back on the table.

"Well maybe I was hungry too." he says playfully.

"Either way, I'm really grateful for the help so stop fighting me. You won't win." she grins and an almost goofy smile comes across his face.

"Whatever you say." he says with a firm nod and a charming smile.

They both stand at the curb, the sun having set, the neon lights from building signs now playing across the still wet splotches on the asphalt and making the oil rainbows shine across the road.

"Hey," he says to get her attention, one hand in his pocket, the other motioning towards his bike. "If you won't let me buy my own dinner, how about I save you the cost of a ride and I can take you home?" his voice was chivalrous and not suggestive.

He sees her considering it, thumb hovering over the lit up screen, lip twitching as she looked over to the bike. "I don't want you to have to go too far out of your way or anything." she says with a shake of her head.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's the least I can do. Where do you live?"

"In the mission district." she says softly, noticing the scruff of his face as his hand rubbed his chin.

"That's in the middle of everything, what're you talkin' about out the way?" he says with a charming laugh that moves his chest. He notices the smile grow from a twitch at the corner of her mouth to a full smile up to her eyes. "Unless you know..." he smirks, "You're afraid of the bike or somethin'." he says hunching his shoulders towards her, the mischievousness in his eyes to tease her make her scoff at him, her head tilting to the side and her mouth open as if she were offended.

She blinks slowly a few times, he can't tell what she's thinking as her eyes narrow, but with a tilt of her head she answers, "Did you really just call me a chicken?" she asks with laughter in her voice "That's some grade school bullshit Brock." she says, no actual anger in her face. She makes a point to show her defiantly putting her phone in her pocket, she zips her jacket up dramatically. "And if you think I'm gonna fall for that..." she says with attitude, her head moving back and forth. "You'd be right." she says with a straight face before a smile that reaches her eyes comes across her face. "You got an extra helmet?" she asks with a quirked brow.

"Just so happens I do." he grins proudly at the fact his mischief paid off. His cheeks high and making his eyes smaller in his first showing of genuine excitement in months. "So that's a yes?" he leans in and tilts his head playfully.

"Yes, that's a yes you big bully." she rolls her eyes and laughs.

"C'mon ya bad ass." he says with a gritty laugh, walking across the street with her. "Let's get ya home Candace." he says with a sharp jerk of his head in the direction of the motorcycle.

She likes how he says he her name, like his accent makes it sound more fun or something. She glances over his face, noting how good he looks in the low light of the street lamps as he puts the helmet on her and straps it under her chin.

"There now, that isn't gonna go nowhere." he says, patting the top of the helmet. She then gets the treat of watching him throw his leg over the bike, jeans strained in all the right places as she holds back a gulp. She follows his lead before he has to ask, she knew how this worked. She just wasn't sure how she was going to handle being pressed up against him with her arms around him for the entire ride. She wasn't scared, he hadn't flown in on the bike like a bat out of hell or anything, but she'd be lying if she hadn't thought this was some girlish fantasy come to fruition for her.

He looks at his phone to remember the address before he starts the bike, she notices he saves it into her contact information. She supposes he would have to come to her place eventually, she wonders if she'll ever get to go to his.

"Alright. Grab tight, we're all friends here." she can feel his laugh as she wraps her arms around his waist, feeling small against the broad expanse of his shoulders. He shields her completely from the biting wind except for her hands, but the warmth from his skin coming from under his shirt was distracting enough to make her not notice.

So she closes out the night with her arms around Eddie Brock and a promise to see each other again. And not just once, but many times, for many hours at a time. It was the most eventful Friday she'd had in what was probably years. But then again, she wasn't much one for things like clubs and going out all night. Her best Fridays were spent with someone she liked, food and a good movie, a video game or a book. She'd had everything but the latter, and she expects she'll be curling up with one after she gets home. She tries to remember everything she can, because when she tells Steph that she rode bitch on Eddie Brock's bike with him taking her home she was going to be the one demanding details for once. ------------------- The next time Eddie and Candace see each other is four days later. But the next time they talk was that same night. Staying up late, her emailing all her work to him, and him eager and having nothing better to do with his time on a Friday, he sat up a workstation of sorts on his coffee table and got to reading.

He was impressed with how thorough she'd been. She had a storyboard of how she wanted the final video to look, she had the name, date and time down for every little note. He'd had people that had worked with him at the network that didn't have their shit together to this degree. He knew she'd be good, he'd seen her work, seen her editing and her delivery but getting into her notes was like getting to see how her mind worked and he found he liked what he found there.

It had been easy to feel less than enthusiastic at times when working for a network. It wasn't as heartfelt or passionate, there was less danger to it and it certainly hadn't made him as genuinely excited about doing something like this was. At the network, he'd been wrangled, censored and directed. But this time he was totally free. Of course, he would work within the frame that Candace wanted to, it was her baby after all, her idea in the first place. He hadn't thought he'd find himself so...what was that feeling he'd almost forgotten? Oh yeah, happy. He'd never been one to play second fiddle to anyone, in his work life he wanted to be aggressive and self-assured, but those traits didn't follow him in pretty much any other aspect of his life. It was nice to feel those things again after feeling like he'd been on an endless losing streak.

They stay up with each other on speaker for almost two hours, organizing, making plans, discussing options and open hours. Even though it was work it didn't feel like it. She seemed genuinely excited about working with him, and in turn that made him even more excited about working with her. When was the last time someone had been happy to see him? He stopped to think about as they ended their phone call. He recalls it had been about four months since Anne left him, and when it did end she certainly hadn't been happy to see him.

The biggest laughs they both experiences in the next few days come from their interactions with each other. She put down acronyms in her notes. They hung there unexplained and eventually Eddie snaps pictures of them sending her the photo with "???" in question. She explained her shorthand, and every now and then he would guess one right, her sending him a gif that would congratulate him. But most of the time he was clueless, and when he found himself stuck, he'd snap another pic and send it with some nonsensical words. Once they were comfortable, telling jokes to each other after feeling out each others sense of humor, the suggestions got more ridiculous and risque. They were the highlight of Candace's work hours. "BTA-RG" Bring The Atlas Right Gear, meaning the GPS didn't work well in that part of town and she needed to bring her gear bag for that bit of work. But when Eddie sent "Big Titties Are Really Great?" out of nowhere she snorted loudly and everyone in the office turned to look at her. She blushed just slightly, hunkering back down and explaining herself. She was more than happy to learn what a total dork he was turning out to be. ------ He sits at the counter at a small hole in the wall diner. He's halfway through a greasy burger when the slam of a heavy bag on the counter breaks his enjoyment. Luckily for him, the sight before him was something that he was enjoying even more than the burger.

It was Tuesday, and since her shift at the shelter on Saturday had been spent talking to people once again, she had more notes to discuss.

"Sorry I'm late." she sighs out, unbuttoning the top clasp of her dress shirt because she was feeling particularly stuffy in the suit she was wearing.

"Oh. Wow." he says with a funny little smile.

"What?" she says freezing, asking him with the move of her brow and her hesitant smile.

"You uh-" 'You look really nice.' is what came to mind but, he takes a detour at the last minute, chickening out. "You have a meeting or somethin'?" he asks, wiping his mouth with a thin napkin from the beaten up metal dispenser that matched the rest of the interior of the greasy spoon location.

"Ugh yeah," she says with a frown. "Had the owners of the paper come in today." she explains.

She turns to look at the pegboard menu on the wall for a moment and he takes in the sight before him. Her navy suit is well fitted, a white button up under it, a pair of heels peek out from the slightly flared bottoms of her pants. He did love it when an attractive person wore a suit well. He liked it even better when he was close to that person, who also happened to be very nice and smart, so that he could get a good look. He hears her order of a double stack burger, onion rings, and a milkshake. He liked that she'd never been light about eating around him, made him feel comfortable like if she wasn't hiding anything, he might not have to either. She had yet to make him feel like anything other than a friend.

"I ran copies of my notes, hope you don't mind going old school." she says with a pleasant smile, reaching into her bag.

"Nah." he says wiping his hands on his jeans and taking the stack from her. "Been a long time since I've got to sit back and have a nice, long threesome with a pen, a highlighter, and some notes." he smirks.

She laughs, something he's pleased to hear instead of reading 'lol' or 'haha' on a screen. "I'm like that with books. I know my tablet can hold a library's worth but there's just something about having that physically in your hands." she says with pouted lips in understanding. She takes a long drink from her milkshake. "Ah, I needed that." she slumps and takes another long drink. "Those meetings are such a pain in the ass. I feel like I deserve a good dirty meal as a reward." she sighs. "I wouldn't mind them if my boss didn't get so worked up over them. Like, just let me do my thing, I got my shit handled like I do every time. Just unclench your butthole and breathe." she rolls her eyes and he lets out a little chuckle.

"I would agree that you have your shit together." he nods supportively.

"Thank you. I do." she says in agreement, but not in an overly cocky way. "So much so it seems I will be taking over the online division for local events as well."

"Oh! Congrats on that." he says with a friendly smack to her arm.

"Thanks. But that also means I'll have less time to work on this. Unfortunately." her face shows genuine disappointment. "But I still wanna do it with you, we're still doing this. You're not gonna get out of it that easy." she leans in in a teasing way, raising her brows at him.

"I don't want out, don't gotta threaten a man, geez." he says playfully.

"Good." she says with a strong nod. "I might need you to do some interviews that I had planned on doing myself though. Would that be okay with you?" she asks before taking a huge bite of her burger, both hands around it, her cheeks puffed like a chipmunk and he found it incredibly endearing.

"No, no problem." he says, half smile still growing as he mirrors her and takes another bite of his.

"I'm down for Saturday again at the shelter. I let the ones I talked to," she points at the stack of papers on the counter. "...the ones in there, know about you and that you'd be working with me. Could you come Saturday afternoon and I'll introduce you, show you around?" she suggests before taking another bite.

"Consider me all yours on Saturday, Candace. I'm ready to get my hands dirty on this with you. Whatever you need help with, just let me know and I'll earn my share alright?" His warm tone and charming smile catch her off guard. She hadn't expected him to be so nice, so willing to roll up his sleeves with her, but she couldn't have been happier about it.

"Great." she says with a relaxing of her posture, elbows moving to the countertop. "We'll go check out some campsites, get a feel for them and the people there. I'll know quite a few, and the more that know both of us the better chance we'll have at them looking out for us when the time comes." she takes a noisy sip of her milkshake. "We can go around the surrounding areas, know the routes in case we have to make a run for it." she let's out a little huff of a laugh but she's serious.

"Sounds good. Been too long since I've had a good stakeout." he nods and grins. "How much area we talkin'?"

"In all Tenderloin's about fifty blocks. We won't be covering all of it but, if we wanna be thorough. And you know I do." she says with a big smile that he returns. "We're talkin' about twenty-five blocks I'm guessing." she nods thoughtfully. "So wear comfortable shoes." she chuckles.

"Well, uh...what about my bike? I can get us around a lot faster that way. I mean we'll have to do the perimeters on foot but it'd really cut down on the time in between."

"I don't have a car so that sounds good to me," she says with a shrug. Her response was casual but the thought of being snuggled up to him on that bike again made her feel like her light reaction was a lie. "We'll be walking a lot so you wanna plan on grabbing something afterward together? We seem to have similar tastes." she smiles, giving a nod to the burger in the red plastic basket in front of him.

The suggestion catches him off guard. It wasn't work, but it didn't feel like anything beyond that either. "Yeah, I'm sure I'll be starving after all that anyway." he purses his full lips and slowly nods.

"Maybe this time you can pick the place? I've picked twice now, it's your turn."

"I don't...know nothin' in the area really." he says slowly like he was thinking while we was still speaking.

"Well, it doesn't have to be in Tenderloin. Where do you live? We can go somewhere you like instead." she says as if that was obvious.

He didn't know that he could take her somewhere farther away, he wasn't sure of the rules of hanging out after work together when all the usual lines of working with someone weren't there. There wasn't a hierarchy from working in an office, no handbook for relationships for two people out trying to enact their own forms of justice. "I live in Fillmore," he says looking out the window behind her. "Honestly Candace, I have a bar I go to and the rest is take out. Unless you want something from the Chen's corner store." she sees his smile seems to be covering something. Like he's embarrassed maybe, which she didn't understand exactly but she wasn't about to let him feel that way.

"Well does the bar have food?" she says in an interesting way.

He lowers his head and does his high pitched short laugh. "Nothing worth eating." he shakes his head.

"We have until Saturday to figure it out. No rush." she shrugs. "Although takeout might really hit the spot after all that work." she side-eyes him, eating her food but keeping an eye out for his reaction. He seems comforted by her words, he didn't need to be sheepish about these sorts of things with her she hoped he'd come to realize. "We could always get some beers, some Chinese or Thai or something and look over the footage we got. Carbo-load after all that walking." her face is forward, now chewing away at an onion ring.

"Yeah you're probably right about that." he wanted to ask where she intended on eating that take out exactly. But 'my place or yours' didn't exactly feel right. He needed an excuse to clean his apartment anyway, and if on Saturday she meant her place, at least he wouldn't be coming home to a depressing bachelor pad. --------------------- Saturday comes and it goes swimmingly. He was personable and gentle with the people she introduced him to. It seemed he was aware he could come off as a little intimidating physically. She couldn't help but notice the way he would get on the other person's level, his voice a soft and considerate and he didn't even laugh loudly so he didn't come off as abrasive. He did most of the talking after the initial introductions. She could tell he'd been researching and paying attention and she was impressed and grateful for the time and consideration he was putting into the work. He made eye contact and touched to connect with people when appropriate, he was good at communicating and she could see how he could get information out of someone if he wanted. A good looking guy like him with emotional intelligence and cleverness to back it up? She really couldn't have found a better partner to work with.

He seemed really knowledgeable about legal matters, able to explain things about prosecution and evidence and trials when people would ask what we wanted out of this work, or what to expect if we did end up being successful. He always stated first he expected us to be successful, and that we were doing it because we wanted to help first and foremost, not to exploit anyone or for the money. She comes to find that she was correct about him dating a successful lawyer, or rather he was engaged to one. Apparently, when he'd gone rogue on Drake, she was also fired from her job and left him. She could hear and see the sadness in his voice and eyes when he would talk about Anne. Candace felt bad for him, but she didn't pity him. If anything she was a bit jealous that he could find anyone at all in this city worth marrying.

She'd deleted tinder ages ago after reaching her limit on immature people who wanted too much from her. After so many failed dates, getting ghosted and even catfished once she'd just given up on actively seeking out someone. She wanted a partner, not someone who depended on her or got intimidated by her own ambitions. But as she liked to remind herself when she started to feel lonely, her career wouldn't wake up one morning and tell her it didn't love her anymore. So she went about her life and stayed sane with the occasional hookup, letting the cards fall where they may.

As they sat on a bench, watching and timing the police patrols of the areas, he got more inquisitive about her with his questions. He learned she came from Kansas, which would explain the strange middle of the road accent she now had. He tells her he's from New York and she does a dramatic expression of faux surprise at the news, which makes him laugh, realizing the obviousness after the fact. His instincts have him pry a little further as she seems willing to answer anything he's sought after so far. He finds out that she left Kansas after dealing with her own blacklisting of sorts. She'd exposed the mayor to pocketing all the vending machine money in all of the government buildings in the city. In her inexperience, she expected some big show of support for her efforts, a dramatic kicking out of the man in question and a public shunning afterward. But she soon learned that life isn't like the movies. The good guys don't always win and get to ride off into the sunset. Sometimes the bad guy gets reelected after a city-wide audit and the good guy gets blacklisted from working in the town. This had pushed her to move away, knowing she still wanted to find the truth and expose it and found she wanted to do that for people who couldn't do it for themselves. That how she found herself doing what she did now. He admired her work ethic and ambitiousness that apparently were deeply ingrained her. She was clearly someone who spoke with both actions and words, never shying from hard work and willing to face failure in the name of the greater good.

Once the sun starts setting they take everything they've gotten and stroll through a lovely, green park to get back to his bike. Eddie actually makes a suggestion of a Chinese place they can get food from. They stop and grab a six-pack before picking up the food and heading back her place. A locked front door and an elevator show the security of the place and he's thankful she found such a good spot since she lived alone. As soon as he walks in the studio apartment he can see her in the decor. It wasn't loud or overdone, pieces she'd written, landscapes and artistic typography hang on the light colored walls. She tells him to make himself comfortable as she grabs some clothes out a chest of drawers.

"I'll be right back, gotta peel off this outer layer I put on for the public." she jokes, already brushing her hair up with her fingers before she shuts the bathroom door behind her.

Eddie takes it upon himself to get the food out onto the small bar with stools in the kitchen. He grabs a box and sits on the soft grey couch placing a beer on a diy tiled mosaic coaster that rest on the coffee table in front of him. He looks around and finds the similarities between their places; a bed blocked off by a bookcase, although hers was much more organized and full of books, kitschy knick-knacks, and collectible toys. A blue desk with a fuzzy white chair in front and stacked boxes with scribbled names and places all full of papers. She had tall stacks of colorful books, titles telling him her wide range of interests from autobiographies to fashion and space. It looked lived in, comfortable but calm and he felt like he could move about the space without disrupting it too much. It felt warm and welcoming and a touch offbeat just like she did.

She comes out of the bathroom with a fresh face, pajama pants with a feminine floral pattern on them under a plain white shirt, her hair pulled up into a pile on top of her head. The act of her letting him see her like this seems like a statement in itself he thinks. She sits next to him, switching on the tv and plugging in the camera to her laptop before putting on a pair of black framed glasses. They clink their beers as they dig in with chopsticks and watch the news as the footage uploads to her computer.

He tells her about which newscasters are dicks in person, sharing a few stories of rubbing elbows at network parties that make her laugh. For the next few hours, they sit side by side, hunched over and watching what they'd gotten over the span of the day. She makes notes and marks time stamps for editing later, something he didn't have as much hands-on experience with as her and was taken back by how fast her brain and fingers would work in tandem to create something coherent out of him simply talking to another person. He compliments her skills, and she compliments his interpersonal skills for making it so easy to capture the right sound bites. This back and forth of praise becomes the norm for them while when work together, and it's something they both needed to hear from someone else whether they knew it or not.

Neither of them said it, but they both felt a sort of ease with each other. This was more rare for Eddie than Candace. She seemed confident no matter where she was. A trait she'd had to learn early, being a young woman in the city. Eddie, on the other hand, was outwardly charismatic but inside feeling totally comfortable was rarer. He'd tried to ignore his worries of things getting awkward with such long spans of time being spent with a stranger and an attractive one at that. The awkward silences never came and the stall in conversations were never long or spent with an inner panic trying to figure out how to get it going again. She never made him feel anything but welcome and appreciated and he'd been going home feeling better about himself every day they'd spent together.

Candace kept being pleasantly surprised by how he was just so nice. He had an animated face that spoke expressive words that never came off condescending, but always charming and usually funny. They'd grown quite fond of each other, and the chains of texts sent back and forth about things that weren't the case between the times when they'd see each other were proof of that.

Pt. 3

@raceylacy​ @emerald-bijou​ @negansdirtygirl22​ @brianaisasongbird​ @vale0413 @izzy-the-ginger

[fordarkisthesuede]

At the Brink of Midnight - Chapter 9

*Arrives two days late with Starbucks* ‘Sup, guys! σ( ▼∀▼)σ These past 96 hours have somehow filled me with a weird chaotic energy, and I pumped out the longest roller-coaster of a chapter I’ve ever done in such a short amount of time!!! Thank you, whoever sent all the writing vibes my way!!!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ I’m sending out strong vibes to everybody in return! *May you get hit by the writing bug and have the opportunity and energy to completely translate your ideas to printed words!*

Buuut a big note before we get to the good stuff:  I realized too late that the original events of S2 take place in Spring. Like…April. I was writing all of this with the thought that S2 took place in fall; I mean, the characters can wear a leather jacket or a couple of layers comfortably, so I thought “yeah that sounds like early autumn”. Nope! So that means that for this story’s timeline, everything gets shifted into where it should be. On the downside, that means I had to go through and edit all the bits where it said “it was totally spring, you guys”. On the upside… IT’S NOW OCTOBER!!!!! THE SPOOKY SEASON THAT COMPLETELY FITS WITH WHAT’S GOING ON!!! And coincidentally, it’s my favorite time of the year, so I love writing about it even more! I get to add in a thing here and there about the spookiest time of the year, so I’ll have a nice list of what those little changes are uploaded here soon if you don’t feel like re-reading the whole thing. A re-read isn't necessary though, just keep in mind that the humid air of rainy spring in the city is replaced with chilling fronts and even more cloud cover than usual. Why am I bothering with this? Because I’m a stickler for keeping with canon as much as possible and I feel like an absolute fool for not remembering what goddamn time of year it was to begin with. (I mean, I went so far as to download all of TeamFourStar’s play-through because I watched it so often, you think I'd remember to go back and watch the very beginning once in a while…)

Anywho, thank you all again for your continuously loving support!!! 

♡~(ɔ ˘3˘)˘⌣˘ c)

Important Spoiler Tags: drugs (mentioned), swearing, canon-typical violence, electric shocks (mentioned), torture of flowers, flirting, almost an excessive use of emoji, crying, romantic dirty thoughts

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Chapter 9:  Grapevines

Bruce Wayne couldn’t remember the last time he’d conducted a meeting from his home office. It wasn’t as if he didn’t use it – the desk surface had hardly any dust settled on it and two empty coffee mugs he’d forgotten about on two different occasions just happened to be stacked behind the monitor – but it felt strange, like a lot of things did lately.

He knew part of the reason for that was watching houses down in the Batcave right now. Knowing he wasn’t alone in the house was comforting, but knowing there were two cops outside the Manor’s front door just waiting for a chance to grab his best friend-cum-houseguest was not, and knowing that they were both close to being thrown in hot water was even less so.

He figured the other reason he felt strange was because he was slipping back into his old habit as if it had never been shelved in the first place. He had time to kill before the video meeting started, so he’d been scouring for information on “Pam”, Jonathan Crane’s ‘old friend’.

There were a few Pamela’s in Gotham, but only one fit within Crane’s age-range and attended Gotham University at about the same time:  Pamela Isley, a forty-four-year-old former botanist with a record that ran the length of his arm. Theft, assault, threats, and attempted poisonings all done in the name of extreme environmentalism and social activism were sprinkled in her history before and after her days as a researcher, and according to GCPD records, she was now suspected of running her own drug-ring under the moniker of ‘Poison Ivy’. (Bruce found several recorded instances of people claiming to be Poison Ivy, most of whom were already arrested.)

Bruce would’ve wondered why on Earth she hadn’t been thrown in prison when she made a bomb-threat at a wealthy businessman several states away nearly a decade ago if he hadn’t seen her mug-shot from back then. At thirty-five, she looked every bit as beautiful as a top-billed Hollywood star, with natural orange-red curls cascading over her pale shoulders and ample bust in chemically-tamed waves, flashing the camera a come-hither stare that made it look like she was trying for a part in a high-budget porn flick rather than standing in front of a height chart for her criminal record. Pamela’s charges were mysteriously swept under the rug.

The latest photo he found of her reminded him a bit of those ‘cougar’ dating ads he’d seen – the older Pamela was blowing a kiss to the camera with a mocking look in her dark green eyes. Bruce glared at it. There was little doubt she was using people to cover for her constantly, and when she was in trouble, she managed to wriggle out of it with her looks.

Not this time. She was friends with Dr. Jonathan Crane, and that meant she wasn’t going to get out of this unharmed. The second his virtual meeting was over, Bruce was heading towards Toxic Acres, and hopefully the wounded Crane would still be there to see Batman’s fist hit his –

Bruce snapped out of his thoughts at the buzz of his phone. A message from the BatComputer…?

I’m bored :/

Bruce blinked down at the screen. John had found the emergency messaging system. Of course he had. He was just grateful that the encryption software on his phone was still up to date. Just what else did John poke his nose into down there…? (There was the chance that John would see files he shouldn’t, but Bruce kept those under a thumbprint encryption. He shouldn’t even entertain the thought.)

Stake-outs are usually pretty boring.

It wouldn’t be so bad if you were down here tho! :)

Bruce hovered his thumb over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. The feeling was kind of mutual, if he was being honest; having another person around on a stakeout would at least keep his mind wandering into the worsts of what-ifs and double-checking every last security issue…

No movement on either houses btw. Been reading Crane’s docs in the meantime but it’s DREADFUL!!! I feel like I’m reading a sleeping pill… =_=

You finish your WE stuff yet?

Meeting’s not for another 20 minutes. Been looking up stuff on Crane’s “friend”.

Oh??? :o Do tell!!!!

Bruce couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm.

Pamela Isley, former botanist w/ criminal rec., mostly extreme protest kind of stuff. Good chance she’s the head of a drug-ring that moved here a couple months ago; their leader goes by “Poison Ivy”.

They went to college together, but Pamela moved back here recently.

hMmMmm…. That means no burning the place down if we’re stuck! Bad fumes everywhere xP

Bruce focused on the word “we’re”. He hadn’t been planning on bringing John along. He wanted him safe, at home, where no one had a chance of seeing him and he wasn’t put in harm’s way…

Oh!!! You’ve got a bunch of sticky electro-shockers around - do you mind if I tinker with them? :3c pleeeeaaasssee?

What are you thinking of doing with them?

Making one BIIIIIG shock-bomb, of course! ;D I can wire them together so the shock spreads evenly in the space while it’s discharging.

Bruce reconsidered bringing John. He was still learning to curb his impulses, so being outside in a fighting environment would be a serious gamble, but... Maybe that could be their advantage, too. Bruce made a mental note to go dig out the spare bullet-proof vest from his closet’s secret panel.

You can do that?

I played around with making something like it before, but……well, you know.

Time + supplies for that project were low att. I figured I could always go back to it later anyway.

Bruce felt like his heart had deflated and swelled in such a short time that it hurt.

I mean I’m fine with throwing knives around too but I figured that would be less discrete ¯\_(ツ )_/¯

He’d been thinking of different methods of entering the “house”. Most of them featured a silent slip-in and as little combat as possible, but he knew that there would likely be some muscle around to stop any would-be intruders, and getting a quieter jump on them would certainly be helpful. He would certainly be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed that John had thought that far ahead even back then.

If you think you can get it done within 1.5 hours, then yes.

Ha ha ha with these supplies I can get it done in like 40 mins! >:3 just you watch!!!

Btw have you seen the news?

Not yet. Why?

I was on the morning edition! At least they used a good pic ;D

But also saw a guy getting fished out of the harbor. Your handy-dandy invasion software said he’s a registered Ryde driver.

I told you not to fiddle with that.

Sorry, but I only used it the once! Promise!!!

Bruce sighed through his nostrils.

Besides I thought you’d want to know. Think Crane stole his ride and dumped him by the docks? :v

Probably. I can get the plate from up here to verify. DO NOT TOUCH THAT PROGRAM AGAIN.

Yes sir ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bruce wasn’t sure if that message was supposed to be flirtatious or mocking.

The incoming call from Iman Avesta stopped him from responding. He figured it had to do with John’s escape and the extra security added at Wayne Tower this morning, but why was she calling him now, rather than several hours ago?

“Iman?”

“Hey, Bruce. Hold on a sec – there we go, now we can both -”

“Bruce, what the fuck?” Tiffany asked over the line. “Are you at home right now?”

Bruce almost sighed at the attitude. “Yes, Tiffany, I’m at home, in my office.”

“Uh-huh. I keep getting alerts that your basement’s messaging system is being used. Care to explain that?”

Oh. Of course. He’d forgotten Tiffany had linked her phone to that, too. It’d just…been too long, he supposed. (She couldn’t read them, though, could she? He was fairly sure it didn’t give out mass-texts unless prompted.) “…where are you right now?”

Iman responded instead. “We’re in your second office.”

“…the line’s secure?”

“Of course.” Iman paused, and Bruce knew his new CSO was choosing her words carefully. “I’m guessing you have John Doe in the Batcave?”

“Yes.”

“Bruce, did you fucking break him out?” Tiffany asked with no shortness of impatience.

“I rescued him,” Bruce said firmly. “I know what you’re thinking, and I have a pretty good idea of what you’re going to say, but listen:  I had no choice but to take him with me. One of the doctors working at Arkham has gone rogue – he’d been doing experiments on patients, and I have a feeling he’s going to continue them on civilians. I need to find him before then, and John has been helping me.”

“Helping…? You’re not bringing him in the field with you?” Tiffany said disbelievingly. “After that psychopath almost killed us?”

Bruce could still see Joker running at Tiffany, knife in hand, his psychotic breakdown in full force. He could still see him being smacked against the railing, sheer madness played over his long, bloody face as he desperately fought to stab what was his hero.

But John and Joker were as much the same as Bruce and Batman were, and they were constantly changing.

The Joker in the Batcave wasn’t the same one from Ace Chemicals.  

“I know what John did,” he answered, trying to breathe even as something wanted to hitch in his throat, “and I know how far he’s come since then. I know you both regret-”

“No, I’m not listening to this right now,” Tiffany scowled, her voice fading in the middle her sentence like she was leaving the room. “Talk some sense into him.”

Bruce heard Iman’s voice call after her, and then nothing for a beat.

Iman sighed. “I’ll talk to her. But Bruce,” she started seriously, “Tiffany isn’t the only one worrying about you. Six months can’t possibly cure everything wrong with a man whose spent his life in an asylum.” He could practically hear her chew over her phrasing. “I need to know… If John goes too far – if he shows signs of regressing…or just becoming more volatile – I need to know you’re going to put your foot down.”

“I’m more than capable of handling him, Iman.”

“Please, Bruce, I’d rather not have to pull you off another broken pipe lodged in your kidney.” She paused, and Bruce let her continue, feeling the scar in his side twinge at the painful memory. “I know you care a lot about him,” she resumed in a softer tone, “and I know you trust him. But if you doubt him at any time, you need you to step back and re-evaluate your choices. I don’t want him to regress back into the Joker.”

That was a different Joker, Bruce wanted to say. He knew that wouldn’t sound the way it should. “I promise I won’t let that happen.”

“Good to know,” Iman replied, sounding somewhat relieved. “This doctor you’re hunting – is there anything we can do to help?”

Bruce shot a look at the clock in the corner of his monitor. He didn’t have as much time left as he would’ve liked before his virtual meeting started. “Tiffany can fill you in a bit, I had her help searching Arkham’s records before. Can you run a plate for me? I think Dr. Crane is running with a stolen car; I’ll send you the details in a bit.”

“Sure. We can check traffic cams for it, too, if you’d like.”

“If you would. And the second I have anything concrete on Dr. Crane, I’m sending Tiffany the details – I need her pull as Oracle to get the word out to the GCPD before anything happens. They’ll listen to their number-one informant more than a vigilante coming out of retirement.”

“…you’re…?”

He could almost see the shock in her face. They’d had a short discussion about his alter-ego when he decided to quit the first time; she’d been incredibly understanding about the whole thing. It was almost as if she’d seen it coming.

“Are you sure?”

He was as sure. She didn’t know about the instincts broiling underneath his surface every day. She didn’t know he never really stopped being half of himself. She wouldn’t know or really understand that he just shoved it all down and aside like he did so much else just to get through things. “I don’t have any other options at this point.”

“…you know you can count on us if you need the help.”

“Of course I do.”

“Right. Well, in the meantime we’ll keep the fort over here running as smoothly as possible.”

“Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good luck.”

The line went silent, and Bruce pulled his phone away, catching a glimpse of three unread messages.

Sorry, buddy, I was just kidding around, you know? Ha ha

Bruce???

Hello???????

Sorry, had a phone call and couldn’t reply. It’s fine.

Seconds ticked by, and Bruce began changing out of his black t-shirt and into his button-down. It wouldn’t do to appear as a CEO in anything less than a proper suit. He could leave the jeans on, at least.

“Oh! Uh…sorry, Bruce…”

He felt his heart stop for a second. That was definitely John’s voice, even though it crackled slightly from the speakers. The monitor didn’t show anything out of the ordinary. John must have been using the spy-camera feature on the Batcomputer; it was linked to most the devices in the house, and Bruce’s webcam was no exception. He’d almost forgotten it had a loudspeaker function, too.

“I didn’t realize you were…um, changing.”

Bruce glared at the webcam’s lens. “John, what did I tell you about fiddling with the Batcomputer?”

“…sorry. I was worried when you didn’t answer me.”

He sounded genuine, at least. Bruce could easily picture him running upstairs to find him, if there wasn’t a chance he would’ve been seen. “I answered you a minute ago. I was on a call with Iman,” he stated plainly, fixing the buttons on his sleeves.

“…oh, ha ha, there it is! Uh, I guess I’ll just…go, then…”

Bruce almost questioned why John was sounding nervous and distracted, but it wasn’t until he saw the webcam light wink off again that he realized his shirt was wide open, the scars littering his torso half on display from the waist up.

Thankfully, no one was around to see Bruce bury his face in the palm of his hand for a moment, feeling like his face was on fire from first and second-hand embarrassment.

It didn’t last long. Bruce took a few deep breaths as he fixed himself up, and dialed into the meeting with a fixed expression of calm, firmly ignoring the heat that had settled in his stomach that threatened to go lower at the thought that John was bound not to forget any of that.

Driving the Batmobile in full gear again was certainly something else. Bruce felt the weight of the Kevlar body armor press against his limbs as he sped down Gotham’s twisting alley streets, no one any the wiser that the Wayne’s red sports car was hiding Batman behind it. The city’s CCTV signal was scrambled with the flick of a switch as he came into driving distance of the alley’s camera, making him almost untraceable.

He’d given the Honda Accord a head-start; it couldn’t go nearly as fast as the Batmobile, and Bruce had to find a spot to safely change before going to go pick John up from his drop-off point, and the post-working-hours traffic had already gotten its usual early start. It was a slower drive than he’d like it to be, even with Bruce’s shortcuts.

The setting sun was completely obscured by a dark overcast. It made the orange streetlamps glowing over the decorations sitting here and there in windows and doors even more energetic, like every corner of Gotham was slowly growing with the energy of Halloween.

Bruce clicked the communicator in his cowl. “John, are you there yet?”

Silence for a few seconds, and then a rustling noise. “Sorry, I had to take this off for a bit. What?”

“Are you there yet?”

John giggled slightly. “Oh, yeah, I’m here. Just waiting on you, pal.”

He was already at the meeting point? How did he get there so fast? “You put everything back where it was supposed to be?”

“No, I stripped the seats and threw everything into the garbage,” John grumbled with dripping sarcasm. “Of course I did, it’d be rude not to put Jerry’s stuff back. What do you take me for?”

“…I’m just making sure you didn’t forget anything.”

“I didn’t.” There was a loud slurping noise, like the last of a liquid being sucked from a straw.

“John, where are you right now?”

“In the alley, waiting for you.”

“Did you make a stop?”

John giggled, a little louder, but not at all nervous. He was enjoying himself. “What can I say? Going out on the town with you like this makes me thirsty,” he said with a strange purr. “Besides, no one bats an eye at me when I look like this anyway.” He paused. “Well, no, I’ve gotten some eyes on me, but, uh, I think they’re more the appreciative type. I guess ZZ Top was kinda right about the sharp-dresser thing.”

Bruce felt his brows knit together. “You’ve always looked sharp,” he said truthfully, turning down a narrow alley.

“Yeah, but not thousand-dollar-suit sharp. There’s a difference! Plus I think this bullet-proof vest makes me look a little bulkier than I actually am.”

Bruce spotted him leaning against the graffiti-covered wall, a Burger Lord cup in one hand and a plastic orange bag in another. Just how much time did Bruce lose while he was changing?

John tossed the drink in the dumpster and practically jumped into the car, shoving the orange bag behind the driver seat and slamming the door shut as Bruce switched off the communicator. He took one look at Bruce’s questioning glower and gave a nervous sort of grin. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, there’s something in there for you, too.”

Bruce almost asked what, but decided that a lecture on keeping a low profile and not taking money from his house’s various hiding spots would have to wait. (Though he supposed whatever John got wasn’t expensive. He was quite frugal, and it wasn’t as if Bruce couldn’t afford to buy John whatever he wanted anyway.) He concentrated instead on heading down the twisting path towards Toxic Acres. At least the traffic over there was a hell of a lot lighter.

“Hey, when you drove me to the Batcave, did you go in fourth gear, or third?”

He wasn’t sure why he asked, but he honestly couldn’t remember. He just recalled putting his foot to the floor and keeping his eyes on the road, occasionally reaching over to check John’s pulse. “I wasn’t really paying attention to that; I concentrating more on driving as fast as possible.”

“Oh – so you didn’t know you could punch the shift down into third whenever you wanted? It was so fun! I can say I literally punched it out of the Batcave!” He laughed. “I’m guessing you can’t do that in this car?”

“…I’ve got paddle shifters.” They were starting to travel into the more deserted road leading into Toxic Acres. Bruce took a sharp turn onto the hill with the broken Do Not Enter sign, and checking that no one was behind him, flipped the switch to shift the car into armored plates and pressed the wheel-paddle for a lower gear.

They flew down the road with a whirring whine of the engine, John’s notorious excited laugh mixing with it, and Bruce allowed himself to smile a little at it, knowing his own little joyful thrill wouldn’t last very long.

John was soon tapping his fingers together in some kind of rhythm as they passed by more empty houses, Bruce moving a little slower to keep his eyes out for trouble. Sitting close to the river on the outskirts of the city, they were originally meant to be a long neighborhood for the middle and upper class to build their lives, but as the unemployment and crime rates rose, the place became abandoned. It didn’t help that the piping structure to carry water there had been faulty, making either lead poisoning or unfiltered dirty water a prominent problem and giving the section of Gotham its nickname.

“How do we know which place is the botanist’s?” John asked, his green eyes scouring the houses in front of them.

“I sent out another drone earlier for some aerial shots. There’s a place with camouflaged green-houses in the back on Aster Place.”

“Wow, you did that before I left? That was fast…”

“It was a quick job. I’m not picking up the other drone until later.”

They turned the corner onto Aster Place; the road would dead-end in a while, but Bruce knew the house wouldn’t be situated at the end.

“Oh, there’s the spot Jackie got shot at!” John pointed ahead. “I wonder if there’s a bloodstain left…!”

Bruce tightened his grip on the wheel. “We’re close.”

It was oddly quiet out there. There was no other sign of life in what was a hot-spot of criminal hide-outs. Bruce turned on the thermal vision in his cowl; a lot of the houses were actually empty for once.

Except for one. 1801 Aster Place. There were a group of people scattered around on the bottom floor and what appeared to be a lot of heat-lamps running on the top floor. If one of the people in the group wasn’t Pamela Isley, then she might have been holding up in the basement…

They left the Batmobile out of sight down the road, and Bruce and John moved swiftly behind the backs of the houses in the chilly night air, the taser bomb safely in John’s coat pocket; John was surprisingly quiet, only humming a familiar tune here and there. (Wasn’t it the theme from that old spy-thriller…?) Bruce managed to quiet him with a look, and John mimed locking his mouth shut and throwing the key away.

Two unknown people were standing in what used to be a kitchen; three more people were up in the front room of the house. There were no security cameras to be seen.  

“Stick close to me,” Bruce whispered, the modifier in his cowl deepening his voice. “We go in through the back window, take out the two in the kitchen quietly and throw the bomb up front so we can cuff the lot. If none of them are Ms. Isley, we find the basement.”

John gave him a thumbs up, pulling out the riot baton he had hidden away. (Bruce had still not remembered when he or Alfred bought that, but vaguely remembered stashing it in the towel cupboard with some other emergency gear. He wasn’t surprised John found it.)

The bathroom window’s locks weren’t difficult to break. They looked like they had been broken several times already. Bruce slid the insect screen up and slipped in through the thin opening feet-first, twisting his limbs just right to softly land on the floor. He had to help pull John through the rest of the way after he smacked his head on the bottom of the window; thankfully he hadn’t made any noise, but he did give Bruce a strange look as brushed himself off where Bruce had gripped his sides.

Bruce didn’t have time to think about it.

The two people in the kitchen stood in semi-darkness, watching through the patio windows with rifles leaning against the wall. There wasn’t so much a bare bulb to give off light. Bruce figured their eyes might have adjusted to the dark, and signaled John to follow as he crept up behind the two goons.

“I dunno, with all the hype surrounding episode four, you just know those guys are going to mess up somewhere. Remember when they decided to let Celestyne drop to his death back in season one?” The one with dreadlocks asked.

“Oh, come on, that was just to test the game’s limits. Besides, Celestyne couldn’t die; I don’t think Jane can, either,” the second person responded in a higher voice with a casual shrug.

“Dude, you know the game’s gonna make her a villain in the end, though, right? She might die…”

Bruce was ready. John was gripping the baton with a widening grin…

“Are you kidding me? They have her affection meter up so high I’m surprised the game doesn’t have a dating opt-”

Bruce slammed dreadlocked goon’s head into the wall just as the baton crashed down on the other goon’s skull, little smears of blood marking the plaster and paint with a satisfying crack.

John clutched the collar of the goon he’d struck, gripping the slightly bloody baton a little harder in his other hand. He seemed to be thinking.

Bruce took a zip-tie out and cuffed the goon’s hands behind their back, and wondered just what John was staring at until he’d turned the person around and caught a glimpse of them in the light of the window.

They were both women with little tattoos of vines creeping along the back of their necks.

If Bruce guessed right, those were ivy leaves on the vine. Poison Ivy had a loyal gang.

John zip-tied the wrists of the woman he’d struck and patted the part of her head that wasn’t wounded. “Sorry,” he whispered as if she would hear it. “Lauren’s ex,” John mumbled, gesturing to the woman on the floor as if he knew Bruce had raised his eyebrow at him.

Bruce simply swept onward, spying the door for the basement. There was a light on in the front room, and three women who looked like they could be professional boxers of different weight categories were sitting in different areas. One was sharpening a knife at the table, and another was cleaning a semi-automatic rifle as the third kept watch over a monitor showing security camera footage; three looked to be by the greenhouses (Bruce recognized the Foxglove variety growing in one under an opening in the glass, sitting next to something that looked primeval), and two were watching over the plants upstairs (marijuana, by the looks of it) and in the basement.

There was a figure in the last screen, working over a row of potted plants with low lamps. A zoom-in with Bruce’s lenses showed long red hair.

Bruce felt a hand on his shoulder, and John crept ahead him, the taser-bomb in hand: it looked like a mass of the sticky-bombs grouped together, colorful wiring connecting them all like some kind of net, and before Bruce could do or say anything, John threw it into the living room, where it tumbled into the middle of the floor.

The group began to shoot out of their seats in a second, and in the next the ball seemed to expand like a geometric toy, the wired tasers being thrown in the air with a flash before smacking people and surfaces alike as they discharged. All three people fell to the floor in trembling heaps, and John dashed out and started to cuff them, Bruce close behind.

The electric bombs were safe to touch now that they had fully discharged, so Bruce had no qualm about stomping on the lightly-burning sections of carpet underneath some of them to prevent any spread of fire as he pushed them aside. The bulkiest goon wasn’t quite down for the count; she was still conscious.

She yanked John off her fallen comrade by his shoulder and threw him into the table’s edge. Bruce threw a Batarang at her arm just as she was about to punch, and John gave a swift knee to her stomach as she flinched.

She fell to the floor with a louder crash and a grunt, pulling the Batarang out from her arm and letting it drop to the floor. “You fucker…” She said, glaring up at John before looking over at Bruce, her eyes widening as he approached with more Batarangs at the ready. “B-Batman…?”

“Yup! He’s real,” John said playfully before smacking the side of her head with the baton. “And so am I,” he added with a growl. He decided to tie her wrists behind the nearest table leg. “I hate not being able to call myself Joker like this… Really sells it better.”

Bruce felt his heart twitch at the name. “You can call yourself that, if it helps,” Bruce said gently, tying the monitoring-station woman’s wrists together, “Just not to people’s faces.”

“Kinda defeats the point,” John grumbled.

Bruce shot a look at the security monitor – Pamela Isley didn’t seem to have heard anything. Still, precaution should be used. “Let’s go,” he said plainly, sweeping out of the room with a swish of his cape.

John tucked a hand into his pocket and followed.

The basement stairs were carpeted and quiet, but Bruce was careful to walk on the outsides rather than the middle. Spiders had clearly made themselves right at home in the damp corners of the walls, and he had to duck to avoid getting the tips of his cowl’s ears stuck in one of their webs. A soft sort of click was heard behind his back, and Bruce figured John had gotten out his grappling gun.

Pamela Isley was bent over a row of exotic-looking orchids posed under heat lamps, dabbing something into the center of a blue orchid’s petals. Bruce saw several troughs full of hallucinogenic mushrooms sitting on the other side of the wall.

“There you go, my darling,” she cooed in a honeyed voice, acting like she was carefully painting the center of the flower, “You’ll soon be the belle of the ball…”

Bruce eyed the electrical box on the other side of the room. It wouldn’t do to drown the place in darkness; he’d be able to see, but John wouldn’t. The best bet was to tackle and restrain her.

Or…

Bruce took out his own grappling gun, and aimed it at Isley’s collar. One click, and it snagged her shirt with practiced ease.

“What the-?!”

Pamela Isley was suddenly dragged yelping through the air at an angle, smacking hard into one of the tables and spilling several unusual potted flowers to the floor.

Bruce grabbed her and threw her to the concrete floor, standing over her with several Batarangs in his hand as John cackled beside him.

“Jonathan Crane,” Bruce growled out, “Where is he?”

Pamela Isley sat up, shock written all over her face as she processed exactly what happened – it quickly morphed to a steely stare. “Batman,” she said slowly in a sweet voice, “I thought you were an urban legend,” she continued, wiping the corner of her mouth where a dribble of blood leaked out. “Do you always treat a lady this way?”

Bruce dragged her up by her collar and threw her against the wall, keeping her at arm’s length. “I know he bought plants from you today. Tell me where he is.”

“Or what?” She taunted, smirking widely at him. “You think I haven’t been knocked around by men before? I’ve been in whole worlds of hurt, honey.”

There was the distinct sound of the grappling wire rushing through the air, and then an enormous crash – John had taken out one of the mushroom tables, the fungi now breaking and bouncing against the floor it the scattered in the dirt.

“Whoopsie,” John hummed, a wide unnerving grin on his face, “butter-fingers.”

Isley looked rather taken aback, but the expression quickly warped into a mocking glare. “You think destroying my inventory is going to intimidate me?”

John shrugged, leaning back against a table and knocking over a several small tropical plants with a slide of his hand, shattering the clay pots and sending the plants scattering to the hard floor.

That definitely got her attention; her face paled slightly and there was tremble in her. “Stop that!”

Bruce glared at her, mentally thanking John for his quick thinking. “Tell me where Crane is and I’ll consider stopping him from tearing this place apart.”

Her dark green eyes glared at him with a slow-boiling dislike. “Let me go first.”

Bruce did a very quick once-over; she didn’t seem to have a gun holster on her, and she was definitely a lighter build than the rest of her gang. Knives were still a possibility. He decided to let go, keeping a Batarang between his fingers just in case as he stepped just out of her reach.

Pamela dusted off her green turtleneck. “I don’t know where he is, and I don’t care. He bought a few of my flowers and left,” she said, crossing her arms.

John laughed, fingering the leaves of the blue orchid she’d been attending. “With a hole in his shoulder? You didn’t even offer a band-aid for that?”

Pamela was closely eyeing the plant in John’s hand. “What if I did?”

“I know he’s a friend of yours, Isley,” Bruce growled. “You’re the only one who could know what he’s planning.”

“I told you, I don’t know,” she stated, “and I don’t care. I’m not his mother.”

“I can see why you were paying such close attention to this one,” John hummed, fingering the petals with a gloved hand. “It’s so pretty. You put a lot of effort into keeping all these, huh?” He grinned at her, almost looking like his usual self. “It’s not just some financial scheme for you, is it?”

“Of course it is,” Pamela stared at him, trying to keep her voice level; Bruce noticed her eyes kept flicking slightly downward, like she was watching the plant. “I breed and sell rare plants to collectors on the side.”

“Oh good! So this won’t bother you!”

In a swift move, John cut the blossom off the stem with the bowie knife one of the group upstairs had been sharpening.

The blossom fell to the table, and Pamela Isley looked as if she’d seen a ghost.

John picked up the blossom. “Let’s see – she’s honest,” he said playfully, plucking a petal from the stem, “she’s not!” He pulled another.

“STOP IT!” Pamela shrieked, making to rush at him – Bruce pulled her back and pointed the tip of the Batarang at her face. She glanced at it fearfully, but then looked back at the flower being torn apart in John’s hand, and it looked like she was watching a child die before her eyes.

“Stop that,” Bruce instructed; John hummed and held it still. “Talk, or my partner and I crush every plant in this place.”

Isley stared at the flower in John’s hand. “I… I don’t know what he’s planning,” she said quietly, her voice cracking slightly. John only touched the tip of a petal before she spoke again – “But-! But I know… He’s building something. He didn’t say what, but he asked for some muscle - I hooked him up with some of Maroni’s old boys.” She shut her eyes and took a breath before glaring at John like he was a complete monster. “I hope the lot of them tears you limb from limb.”

Bruce forced Isley’s hands behind her back and zip-tied them. “Down on the ground,” he growled, pushing down on the top of her head. John pointed the grappling gun in her face with a smirk; a good insurance if she decided to try and elbow Bruce in the face.

Pamela shot them both a hateful glare as she knelt down, and it didn’t waver as her ankles were tied, too. “I won’t forget this,” she spat.

Bruce sent off a message to Tiffany regarding the coordinates of “Poison Ivy”’s headquarters from his gauntlet. He knew she’d get the word out before he could even get back in the car. “Tell it to the judge,” he taunted, leading the way out of the basement, not missing the sparkle in John’s eyes as he followed, the severed, torn orchid blossom having been carelessly thrown at Pamela Isley’s feet.

John gathered up the sticky bomb device before they hustled back to the Batmobile, and it wasn’t until the doors closed that he spoke, and when he did it was in a tone Bruce would almost call revered.

“So, what do we do now, partner?” He asked, a definite glow on his face.

“We go look at some of the Maroni gang’s old haunts and see if we can find anyone recently hired,” Bruce said, the voice modifier in his cowl now disabled. He glanced at his recent text messages:  one from Tiffany giving the ok on Poison Ivy, and another from Iman with the last known location of the stolen Ryde car. “After we look into the motels in the red-light district. Crane might’ve stayed there.”

John laughed to himself, but for once he didn’t share the joke; instead, he pulled out a packet of jerky from the plastic bag he’d brought along. “I knew this would be a long night,” he said cheerfully, as if he was really looking forward to the whole thing.

It was well past one in the morning when Bruce arrived back home through the front gate, the Batsuit stowed away and the plates flipped back to red. The two patrol officers were only somewhat surprised to see him arrive back. Naturally, they reported nothing new, since John had been dropped off in the Batcave first.

Sore muscles were nothing new to Bruce. The old strained climb back up to his bed was just as annoying as ever. He honestly didn’t feel like he wanted to sleep, but after following several empty leads over the city and bruising a few heads alongside John, he did admit that he was physically exhausted. He knew lying down was better than nothing, and he still had to go to work in several hours like he didn’t have a double life. At least he wasn't starving, thanks to John thinking ahead and buying him protein-and-carb-filled snacks.

He forced himself to go through his usual nightly routine, despite the temptation to just flop into bed and lay there. He looked at the bruises on his back and ribs from where John had struggled against him under the influence of Crane’s drug, and decided not to bother putting the bruise-away cream on them, nor on the new ones forming on his shoulder from where one of the former mobsters had hit him.

When he did finally collapse onto the master bed in nothing but his boxer-briefs, his brain still decided to chat away at him.

There were no leads as to who exactly Isley had hired for Crane. Bruce cursed himself for not trying to work the specifics out of her. At least he knew she was arrested for drug possession and manufacturing, as well as smuggling illegal fauna.

There was no word on the whereabouts of Jackie Lant. Her car was missing, and she’d called into work sick. Her apartment hadn’t been visited in the entire time Bruce had his drone’s eye on it, and neither Tiffany nor Iman had seen anything when they looked into Jackie’s friends’ places, either. All Bruce knew was that she hadn’t called an ambulance to fetch her from Toxic Acres, that she hadn’t been admitted to a hospital, and that there was no sign of her body either in the Acres or in the Gotham River.

She was alive, somewhere, and Bruce didn’t know what she was going to do next. He hoped she was just going to lie low until he caught Crane.

Jonathan Crane was nowhere to be found. His house was still empty. He didn’t seem to be staying at any of the motels – or hotels – around the red-light district or its surrounding streets, and nothing had come of a quick credit-card check. The Ryde driver the GCPD fished out of the River that morning had been shot in the head, and his car was so common that if Crane could’ve switched the license plate with anything and been completely invisible. They’d done a quick search of the warehouse district and found no sign of him there, either.

Bruce had the nagging feeling that he wasn’t going to find Crane until the doctor reared his head.

The billionaire rolled onto his stomach, shoving the anxious thought away as he pressed his cheek further into the plush black jersey pillowcase. There were a couple more places he could check tomorrow…

The bedroom door creaked, and Bruce’s eyes shot open, a second away from grabbing the billy-club under his pillow – he could see John’s messy hair in his dark silhouette.

“Bruce? You awake?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“…can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Bruce noticed he closed the door behind him. Like he was planning to stay there.

That definitely put a new light onto the situation. A tense thrill was building in his shoulders as John deigned to sit on the edge of the mattress, his back to Bruce.

John was only wearing his Arkham-regulated pants, and the pale white of his bare skin almost shone in the light streaming in from the window. Bruce saw several bruises forming, one of which was from where he’d gotten grabbed by the shoulder by a Poison Ivy goon, and several more where he’d gotten knocked into.

“…I don’t think I can sleep in that guest room,” John sighed. “I mean, I tried my usual methods of sleep induction, but… It’s too big…and empty. I’m really not used to that.” His voice came out quieter and more contemplative. “I know it’s weird, but do you mind if I sleep in here?” He asked, turning halfway to look right at Bruce.

He felt trapped. If he said no, at the worst John would sulk, and at the best John wouldn’t get any sleep, and that was definitely worse for his mental health. John had mentioned before about how regular sleep cycles were supposed to help with that.

If he said yes, though, he’d know he was sleeping next to John, and there was the tiny worry in the back of his head that John might…try something. Or at least roll over too much.

“I promise I’ll stay over on my side,” John muttered, not tearing his eyes away.

“Alright.”

A sweet smile stretched on his face. “Thanks, Bruce. You won’t regret this.”

“If you keep talking, I might.”

John giggled as he slid beneath the covers on the far side of the bed, flopping one of the extra pillows down between them. “There – a no-roll barrier,” he said as if he had to explain the concept to Bruce.

It did not escape Bruce’s attention that John had decided to lie facing him and rest his arm on top of the pillow. John had pulled the covers up to just underneath his armpits; Bruce could see John's sharp collarbone and the lean wiry muscle of his chest. (Bruce made sure not to look for more than a moment's curiosity would allow.)

God, John’s face was actually his for the first time that whole night. Bruce had gotten used to seeing it in the natural makeup, but it was almost a relief to see it in its normal borderline-luminescent white. He looked like the man Bruce knew.

Acid-green eyes stared at him, flicking slightly and growing soft. “I…did want to talk to you about something, though. If it’s okay.”

“I suppose I’m still awake,” Bruce said in an attempt to lighten the tension in his arms. “Sure.”

“Do you ever…look back on something, and think about the worst thing that could’ve happened in that situation?”

He didn’t like to admit it, but he had. Usually in his worst moods, he’d think about how everything could’ve gone wrong. He’d usually think about everything he could’ve done better, too. “I try not to, but…sometimes, yeah.”

“I’ve been thinking about our fight a lot, lately,” John confessed, “At Ace. I used to think about it a lot when I got recommitted, but… You started visiting me,” he said softly, a light smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You remember when I told you I thought I’d messed things up for us?”

“Yeah.” It was Bruce’s first visit to John. He never forgot the sheer hopeful joy on John’s face upon seeing him. It was practically engraved in his memory.

“Ever since I started sessions with Crane, I kept going back to that night. He always tried to weasel my worst secrets out of me,” he said with a low scowl, “but when he started using that…toxin on me… I kept…thinking about what could have happened back there. I… I know I almost killed you.”

The sheer pain reading in John’s eyes was enough to make Bruce want to wrap his arms around him. It was beautiful and raw and honest, and Bruce found himself holding stock still, almost captivated by the expression.

“I kept seeing it. Over and over – it was like I could see myself throwing you over the railing or-or stabbing you, or...” Bruce saw tears welling up as John clenched the pillow between them. “I don’t want to come close to that again, Bruce,” he managed to say, his voice starting to hitch. “I don’t… I don’t want to kill you.”

Bruce threw his pride away and grabbed John’s hand in his. “You won’t.”

“You…you don’t know that,” John said with a light sob. “If…if I…go back to how I was… If I mess up...”

Bruce squeezed his hand, feeling the soft skin twitch under his fingertips. “I won’t pretend you’re perfect,” he said, honesty seeping through every word, “but I know you, John. I know you’re not going after Crane out of revenge, like you did with Waller. You reached out to me for help – but you were already trying to find a way to stop him without resorting to just stabbing him with the nearest shiv.”

John sniffed, a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth like he was almost smiling. “Yeah…”

“So you’re not the same person you were then, are you?” He soothed with a supportive smile. “Even if you feel you are going backward, I know it won’t be to that same point.”

“Maybe…” he said with another sniff, looking more serious. “But Bruce, you know there are things I can’t ever really stop, right? The auditory psychosis is pretty much going to stay with me the rest of my life,” he started, clutching Bruce’s hand back, “and I’m not going to lie here and pretend my pulse wasn’t pounding a mile a minute when we were fighting those mobsters out there.” He sported a small knowing grin at him. “You know what that’s like, though, don’t you…”

(Yes, he did.)

“…you know what’s funny? I used to think one bad day could turn a person completely upside down.” John managed to stroke his thumb against Bruce’s knuckle, sending a little shiver over the skin, and Bruce wondered if John knew how incredibly intimate that gesture felt as he stared softly at him from the pillow. “Especially after Waller came to town… But…I never really thought things could go back up after it. I guess it just…takes a while.”

Bruce knew there was something right in John’s line of thinking. It only took one day to turn his life on its head, and he felt he knew, despite John having no memory of his life before Arkham, that something similar had happened to him. “Well…they say time heals all wounds.”

“How much passed before yours started to heal?”

He almost didn’t want to answer. The truth was that he wasn’t sure at all if he was ever going to fully heal, despite knowing what his parent’s really were. Maybe it was because he knew the terrible truth about them that they wouldn’t ever heal right. Maybe he’d always have that miserable note in the background of his life.

“…I’m still healing.”

“I didn’t say you stopped, buddy,” John chuckled with a knowing look. “Still…got good days and bad days, huh?”

“Feels like it, yeah.” Today…was definitely more of a mixed day. Looking at John across from him, though, all honest and open, and thinking back to how it felt to fight alongside him again, and investigate with him, with that warmth and instant familiar comfort between that never faded away, he almost felt like he wanted to call it a good day. “Today might have tilted things right-side up.”

John laughed, a genuine, humored one that was almost infectious. “Now I know I’m rubbing off on you; that sounds like something I’d say!”

John slipped his hand away and turned to lie on his back, still chuckling to himself. The warmth still burned in Bruce’s palm, and he found himself reluctant to pull his hand away at all.

John turned to him once more, an all-too-familiar affection shimmering brightly in the green depths. It pulled Bruce in and made him feel like he should inch close enough to feel the warmth and security it promised. “’Night, Bruce.”

“Goodnight, John.”

John turned over, leaving Bruce to stare at the bruises forming on his shoulders. There was the terrible temptation in his hands to shove the pillow between them aside and wrap his arm around the man’s middle so he could lean into that pale, battered back and bury his face in a head of soft, green hair.

There was a worse urge, one so vivid it almost made Bruce’s head spin – he could just reach out and touch the bruises, feather-light, and trail his fingertips down the curve of spine until it arched with a pleased shudder, and Bruce could follow that trail with his mouth as far as John would let him.

Bruce turned his head away, the memory of John’s lips on his coming to the front of his mind, and he shut out the mental image of repeating that kiss right then and there, telling himself that he really shouldn’t feel that way towards someone who desperately needed support, nor to his best friend who he’d left scarred in more ways than one, and certainly not someone who was both.

It had been a long time since Bruce shared a bed with someone, and far, far longer when he shared one with someone he didn’t have sex with.

He hoped that was all it was. Just the bed’s memory getting to him, and nothing else…

Notes:  Super-sexy-plant-person-in-her-late-twenties Ivy is OUT. Cougar-aged-mobster-botanist Ivy is IN! >:) 

I really wanted a different Ivy. I’m tired of the young, uber-sexy walking plant-human-hybrid that’s immune to all toxins and diseases; plants get diseases, too, and she’s so plant-like she should have some kind of physical humanizing weakness! It’s much more interesting to have a human who’s just built up an immunity and uses her babies for weapons and business; I kept her serious environmentalist trait, though, because while I dislike the anti-hero thing she’s got going on lately and would love to see her as a straight-up villain again, we do have to relate to her somehow, and her love of nature is always going to be a good part of her. Since Harley’s older, too, I figured it would be alright if they had a ten-year gap between them, so when Pam eventually goes to Black Gate one day, they’ll be pals. ;)

And Bruce you complete fool!!!! You should’ve kissed him!!!  Why do you do this to yourseellllfff? D:

I'm sorry it took so long, but as you can tell, I had a lot to work on, and I’m doing my best to write the next chapter as quickly as I can while this nutty energy in my brain is still fresh. I’m trying to keep with my weekly schedule, but I hope you guys are okay with having a gap day, as appears to be the habit now. ( ._. ) I mean, no one yells at me or anything for being late, but I aim to please with my work, and part of that is being consistent. 

I shall continue to try my hardest! (*｀へ´*) 彡3 See you next weekend!!!

[munsonthings86]

Bad News- (Ethan x Reader)

Request: can u please do an e dolan imagine where ur best friends with them but e has feelings for u but ur dating this guy (who both the twins don’t like) and ur not an emotional person and one day u call e crying bc u found out he cheated and the boys are really worried bc ur hysterical and driving ????? if this is waaaaay to descriptive i’m so sorry xx

Warnings: Cursing, cheating? This is way longer than I thought it would be but I hope you love it, anon!!

A/N: I know that this isn’t part three of Lust & Hatred, but it’s taking me longer than I anticipated but, it’s coming this week so keep your eyes peeled! Love you guys!

I lay my head on Ethan’s shoulders, and rested my elbow on Grayson’s, staring blankly at the screen that sat in front of the three of us, displaying the “emotional” movie “The Notebook”. I honestly don’t know how people really watch movies like these, and start bawling their eyes out. 

“Why are we even watching this again? I don’t understand how people dub this movie to be so emotional yet my face is literally turning into a desert. If this movie was sooo sad, then I’d start crying, and you guys know I don’t cry,” I said to the boys, raising my eyebrows to them.

The guys knew that I wasn’t an emotional person, yet they always did these “tests” to see if I was more of an emotional person than what I had let on; this movie being one of those tests.

“Y/N, we both know you want to cry, it’s okay. Let it out,” Grayson said, softly rubbing my back, knowing damn well that he was teasing me. Another thing that I don’t understand is why the guys continue to tease me, regardless of knowing better than to do so.

I shot Grayson a dirty look and he immediately jerked his hand away, in defense. I let out a quiet giggle and looked down at my phone to check the time, deciding it was time to head out.

“Okay, I think it’s time for me to head out now,” I said to my best friends, trying my hardest to get out of their tight grips. I was hanging out at their place for the afternoon, like we always used to, that is, before I started dating my boyfriend Noah.

Noah never liked it whenever I hung out with the twins because he got easily jealous and that would always spark an argument between the two of us. After dozens of arguments aimed towards me and twins, I decided that I would just hang out with the twins not as often, just to keep Noah happy, and to keep my relationship.

“Nooo, why? Where are you going?,” Ethan said holding onto my hand as I stood up from the couch, fixing my clothes to head outside. “Because, I promised Noah I’d come over,” I answered, waiting for their irritated response, knowing how much they despised Noah.

Ever since I introduced Noah to Ethan and Grayson, they never liked him. they always spoke about how he “gave off bad vibes” or “wasn’t worth my time”. But I really liked Noah, and I wasn’t going to let anyone, not even the twins, negatively influence our relationship.

“Ugh, that dude again? I’m so tired of hearing his name,” Grayson sighed, rolling his eyes at the thought of him. “I thought you guys broke up,” Ethan said, looking up at me, confused.

Wait, we never broke up. We never even talked about it. What was Ethan talking about?

“Wait, what do you mean? We never broke up before,” I said, looking back down at him. I thought that maybe it was just Ethan trying to put ideas into my head, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Oh, you didn’t? Then that was a really good dream last night then,” he said smirking. I rolled my eyes at his response, and made my way over towards the door, to my car. I looked back at the twins, waving them goodbye. Before I was able to close the door all the way, I heard Ethan say, “He’s bad news, Y/N,”

Ethan’s POV

“Dude, when are you going to tell her you like her?,” Grayson said from, beside me, after we both heard Y/N’s car pull out of the driveway. I’ve liked Y/N for the longest time now, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Not only did the thought of telling her how I felt make me want to throw up, but she had a boyfriend and I can’t do anything but respect that.

“Grayson, you know I want to tell her, but I can’t just walk up to her and be like, ‘oh hey, Y/N, I’ve been in love with you for the past couple months, hope you feel the same way, have a nice day, now,’” I say, with sarcasm laced in my voice. “No, Grayson, I can’t.”

“Okay, let me tell you something, if their relationship gets to the point where they’re getting married, then your gonna live with that regret and the thought of, ‘that could’ve been me, getting married to her,’” he said, tucking his lips together and raising his eyebrows.

I knew that he was right, but Y/N and I have been best friends for the longest. If I tell her how I feel and she doesn’t feel he same way, it could ruin everything. And I care way too much about her to do that.

Y/N’s POV

I pulled into my boyfriend Noah’s driveway, and decided to text him, letting him know that I was outside. I waited about five minutes in my car, waiting for his reply. It was strange to me because not only was he always around his phone, but he also knew that I was coming. When another two minutes or so went by, I decided to just try and see if his front door was unlocked.

I only slightly cracked the door open, when I heard what sounded like a girl moaning. A girl that definitely wasn’t me. For the love of god, he better be watching porn, or else this won’t end on a very pretty note.

I crept up the stairs, where his bedroom was, the moaning, only getting louder. “That’s definitely not coming from his phone,” I thought to myself. I pressed my ear against his door, listening closer to the whispering. “Does your girlfriend know about this?,” the girl breathed out, like she was out of breath.

All I could hear was a grunt from Noah and a response following,“ Hell, no. She’d kill me. But who cares about her right now?” I heard her giggle as if something was funny, which there wasn’t. I came o the conclusion that I was done listening, and that it was time to start throwing punches.

I threw the door open, seeing Noah laying on top of some blonde leggy girl, with a panicked look on his face. “Yeah, who cares about me right now, right?,” I said, folding my arms over my chest, approaching the two, who seemed to be glued together, since they were still in the same position. “So this it, huh Noah?,” I said squinting my eyes at him. “Y/N, listen-,” he said, finally climbing off of the girl.

“No, you listen. This,” I said wiggling my finger between the two of us,“is done. You’re fucking disgusting,”  I said turning around to leave his house.

Leaving his house felt weird. I felt like I wanted to cry, and I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I opened the door to my car and sat, and that’s where it all came out. I couldn’t control myself. I started the car and called the one person I knew who could calm me down.

Ethan’s POV

The classic IPhone ringtone rang throughout the apartment. I looked down at my phone and saw it was Y/N, which confused me a little, since she did say that she was heading over to that douchebag’s house.

I answered her call and instantly heard crying, which definitely alerted. “Ethan,” she cried out. “Y/N, what’s wrong?,” hearing her cry broke my heart, and it had to be none other than that guy’s fault, because Y/N does not cry. “Ethan, he cheated on me,” her voice broke. Jesus fucking Christ. Of course he would have to do some dumb shit like that. At least my dream came true.

I heard a lot of noise in the background, and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. “Where are you?,” I asked worriedly. “I’m driving back to you guys,” she sniffled out. Immediately, I start panicking. She’s way too emotional to drive right now. If she got into accident, it wouldn’t be only her getting hurt.

“Get off the road right now. Grayson just took the car, so where ever you are right now, just park at the curb and get an Uber,” I say speaking as calmly as I could, so that she could understand me better. “Okay,” she choked out. I heard the engine to her car turn off, and I mentally let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll see you when I get there,” she hung up the phone.

It may be the worst time ever to tell Y/N how I feel, but I can’t wait any longer. If this is some sort of sign for me to tell her my true feelings, then I need to tell her now.

[mochimim]

My sunshine boy

Genre: Fluff and a bit of angst

Word count: 1.5k

Pairing: Hoseok x ?? member

Warnings: N/A

A/N: hihi guysssssss i just found this old draft i did about a year ago???? idk but it was there and i found the storyline pretty interesting so i tidied it up a little bit and bOOM now it’s here enjoyyyyy ALSO PS i didn’t set a fixed member in this bc i want the reader to choose their own character, if that makes sense!! anyway enough of my ramblings, ENJOYYYYY

Where I live, sunflowers symbolise loss and death. But not for us.

For us, it symbolises hope.

We met in a sunflower field when we were eleven. I was at my worst, and he picked me up instead of kicking me to the curb like all my other eleven year old friends.

“Excuse me, why are you crying?” I heard a voice that reminded me of bells and I immediately faced the owner of the voice. He was the most beautiful boy my younger self had ever seen. Even now, I still think that he’s still the most beautiful boy I have ever seen.

“Stay out of it,” I snapped, and a single cinematic tear slipped down my cheek as I remembered the big, fat, red B on my test paper.

“Bad grades, huh?” He sat down next to me and my mouth hung open. Could he read my mind?

“I sit behind you in school,” he bashfully admitted and I took the time to study his face. He didn’t look familiar at all, but I didn’t mention anything.

“Hey,” he slung an arm around me as fresh tears fell from my eyes. “I’m sure it’s not that bad. You’re the best student in class. Here.” He picked a swiss army knife out of one of his pockets and cut through a nearby sunflower’s stem. I was very worried about the mental health of this boy. Why was he was carrying a knife around? He must be slightly crazy, I thought to myself.

“Have a sunflower.” he grinned at me as he placed the sunflower into my lap, and all my doubts towards him just melted away.

“My mother said sunflowers represent death and sadness , but I think they’re really pretty, like you.”

Frankly, I’ve never blushed as hard as I did then.

“Wait!” I shouted as he turned to walk away. “What’s your name?”

“Jung Hoseok.” I nodded, knowing that I would remember his name till the day I died.

“See you around, my sunflower.”

And he sprinted away.

I felt my face burning up, but I didn’t really mind. I looked down at the sunflower and inspected it carefully. No bites, no insects, no flaws. Just perfect.

Maybe getting a B wasn’t so bad after all.

I didn’t know whether to say hi to him the next day, or to just ignore him completely. I did the latter because I was too shy to walk up to him, let alone talk to him.

But, of course, I was forced to talk to him.

We were partnered up for a small project, and we decided that he would go over to my house after school. Well, he insisted and I just kept quiet.

When we arrived at my very small apartment, he immediately spotted the thing that I deliberately tried to hide and pointed to it.

“Hey, that’s the sunflower I gave you yesterday!” He did a small dance of excitement and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“It’s only been two days since I really met you, but I think our friendship will last for a long, long time.”

He was right. We were friends all the way until we were twenty. We went through everything together, especially all awkward phases.  He stuck with me when I thought electric blue eyeshadow was a good idea,  and I definitely stuck with him through his braces phase.

When we felt angry or sad, we would naturally gravitate towards each other. He had a few boyfriends and girlfriends while we were still in school, and I had one boyfriend. Whenever he broke up with one of them, he came to me to rant. And I would always say the same thing to reassure him: “There's someone out there for you. Just be patient.”

And when I broke up with my boyfriend, he would mock my reassuring words lovingly, and it made me laugh. He knew exactly how to make me happy, and I knew how to make him smile, not that it was common not to see him grinning.

And he would pick me a sunflower almost every fortnight.

“You’ll empty the entire field in no time.” I once told him when he gave me yet another flower.

“But, it’s for you. It’s fine, I’ll take that risk.”

The sunflower giving was taken pretty platonically, until I realised that I loved him on his twentieth birthday. Then, I started to perceive things differently. The flowers seemed brighter, and so was the sun, both Hoseok and the one in the sky. And I never could keep my feelings to myself, so I confessed to him that week. And luckily, he felt the same way too.

And that’s how we got together.

Our time spent as a couple was nothing short of amazing. Every date seemed like a casual hangout. Neither of us liked going out and spending too much money, so our dates were usually spent at either of our houses, eating pizza and watching a terrible scary movie. We were like best friends with a different label, and it was good.

Until it wasn’t.

When he broke the news that he would be going to America to go and study dance, I was devastated. I hated the concept of long distance relationships, especially since most of them didn’t work out. But, he was persistent, so I reluctantly agreed and kissed him on the cheek for good luck.

He said he would call me every day, and he did, at least for the first month. Then, he started getting busier and busier, and stopped calling as often. I wanted to take the initiative to rekindle the relationship that was burning out and I tried calling him, but he would either tell me that he was busy or would talk to me for 5 minutes at most. I was upset, but I understood.

When he totally stopped calling, I wasn’t worried like I thought I would be, but I kind of missed him. I missed his smile, his laugh, everything about him. But, I forced myself to get over him. Even though we hadn’t formally broken up, he was obviously over me, due to the millions of pictures he posted of him with other people who were much better looking than me. There was one girl in particular, not extremely pretty, not extremely famous, but I got a very sweet vibe from her. He posted the most photos with her, and so I assumed that she was his girlfriend.

It’s okay, I’m okay.

It was not until my 25th birthday that I saw him again. For four years, I forced myself to forget Hoseok and everything associated with him. I met a new guy, Kim Namjoon, and I fell deeply in love with him. He was kind, caring and had a great smile that could brighten up anyone’s day. But, every time I saw a sunflower, I would cringe, so he made sure that I would never see another sunflower ever again.

We were just hanging out at home, casually celebrating my birthday, when there was a knock at my door. I reluctantly got off the couch, opened the door and saw a strangely familiar man.

He had brown hair and wore a bright smile on his face, and was holding a sunflower in his hands.

“Hoseok?” I gasped, and he nodded. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m back, like I promised.” He smiled at me, and my heart stopped for a moment.

“Please Hoseok, please go.” I pleaded him when Namjoon looked in my direction.

“Jagiya, is everything alright?” Namjoon asked from the living room when he sensed my nervousness. And that’s when Hoseok’s smile started to fade.

“Jagiya?”

“Look, I can explain,” I rushed out, and I told Namjoon that I was fine. I half expected him to get angry, to throw the sunflower to the ground and walk away. But he just stood there, waiting for me to say something.

“Hoseok, you left me for four years without any contact. You just left the year with me back here when you went to America. You can’t just expect me to drop everything I have right now just to be with you.” I sighed, and he visibly shrank.

“Look, I’m so sorry. I was so busy at school that I totally neglected you. But, I’m done now. I can be with you forever. Please, take me back.”

“Hoseok, I can’t. I’m in a relationship that’s still going strong. I love him. I have my own career to worry about, and so do you. And don’t you have a girlfriend as well?”

“Sohye? She isn’t my girlfriend, she’s just a friend, trust me.” He took my hands and I didn’t feel the will to pull my hands away. “Please.”

“I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t bear to look at him.

I heard some shifting, and he placed the sunflower into my hands. I turned back to him and saw his tear-stained face staring back. He gave me a weak smile, took in a deep breath and turned away.

And there my sunshine boy went.

[24hourchampagnediet-blog1]

Is Intermittent Fasting Bad For You? Pros And Cons To Consider

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/is-intermittent-fasting-bad-for-you-pros-and-cons-to-consider/

Is Intermittent Fasting Bad For You? Pros And Cons To Consider

Let’s be honest: The word “fasting” doesn’t exactly bring up delicious thoughts and positive vibes. For plenty of people, it probably conjures up images of starvation and deprivation and makes their stomach start growling.

Yet, intermittent fasting has so many folks going wild right now, raving about how the strict-and-scheduled eating plans helped them lose weight and improve their health. So there must be *some* good in the health and weight-loss fad, right?

Charlie Seltzer, MD, weight-loss physician and certified personal trainer, points out that what most people are doing nowadays isn’t “true” fasting (in other words, eating only one meal per day or nothing at all in a day’s period). Instead, they’re intermittent fasting (duh), meaning they’re taking an approach to eating that involves restricting calorie consumption to a certain window of time each day, like only from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. (so you fast for 16 hours, a.k.a. a 16:8 diet).

The logic behind periodic fasting as a weight-loss approach: “Since you need to have a calorie deficit to lose weight, eating within a window makes it easier to eat less and hit your designated calories,” Dr. Seltzer explains.

Intermittent fasting has some pros beyond weight loss, too, says Dr. Seltzer. It works with a lot of people’s lifestyles, allowing them to skip meals during the day when they’re busy or not super hungry and might otherwise just eat out of obligation. What’s more, following a 5:2 fasting schedule may even improve your heart health; fasting can lower blood pressure and bad cholesterol, according to Cleveland HeartLab.

“True fasting has a large variety of health benefits beyond those that occur with calorie restriction,” Dr. Seltzer adds. “It can cause something called cellular autophagy, where our cells eat themselves [to destroy damaged cells and make way for new, healthy ones].”

That said, intermittent fasting shouldn’t be attempted without some thought as to whether it’s really a good idea for your personality and lifestyle—and not just because it could be challenging to stick to, but because it could be downright bad for some groups of people.

Registered dietitian Barbie Boules of Barbie Boules Longevity Nutrition says the people who should not consider intermittent fasting are:

Folks with diabetes or other metabolic disorders

People taking medications that require food

Anyone with a history of disordered eating

Women who are pregnant or trying to conceive

Children and teenagers

But honestly, anyone who requires a consistent, healthy input of calories throughout the day to be healthy (physically *and* emotionally!) isn’t the ideal candidate to try intermittent fasting. If you’re unsure where you stand, it’s always wise to speak with a medical professional first.

Here are eight potential disadvantages, side effects, and straight-up warnings about intermittent fasting to keep in mind if you’re a healthy adult and thinking about trying it yourself.

1. You might feel way hungrier.

Surprise, surprise: Not eating for 16 hours a day could make you ravenously hungry, at least while you’re in an adjustment period.

In theory, says Dr. Seltzer, intense hunger shouldn’t happen while intermittent fasting using a plan such as the 16:8 method; if you’re fasting correctly by filling up on protein at the end of the day, you shouldn’t be hungry first thing in the morning. (Your appetite wouldn’t kick in until later on the following day.)

In reality, though, this might take some getting used to. “The main worry is setting off binge-eating behavior, because you are so hungry you’re eating 5,000 calories [and going way over your daily amount],” Dr. Seltzer explains.

In other words, only eating within a short window is not a free pass to set up camp at the all-you-can-eat buffet for eight hours, which would defeat the purpose of fasting. And this can be a huge challenge for many people who are used to eating much more regularly and who may not be totally in tune with their body’s hunger cues.

2. It might make you feel sick or fatigued in the morning, especially if you work out first thing.

Committed to your 6 a.m. workout? Intermittent fasting might not be a great choice. “I think it’s a terrible idea to exercise on an empty stomach,” says Boules. “We benefit from a little glucose before and some protein after.”

If you’re interested in experimenting with fasting periods and workout a ton, consider talking to a sports nutritionist or MD to assess your workout schedule and level of rigor. You might be okay fasting for a specific amount of time on days you don’t exercise, for instance. But if you’re, say, training for an endurance event, fueling your body around the clock and getting substantial calories is going to be much more important than trying to force fasting into your routine when your body is already being taxed by your training.

And even if you’re not a morning exerciser, not eating until, say, noon when you’re used to waking up and having breakfast at 8 a.m. may leave your stomach churning. In turn, you may feel off, a little lightheaded, or nauseous as you get used to the new schedule.

3. Fasting diets are rigid and rule-based.

Both Dr. Seltzer and Boules describe intermittent fasting as very individualized, meaning it could work well for some people and turn into a total disaster for others depending on a number of lifestyle factors.

Boules says that people who “like rules” might respond to the diet’s restrictive calorie window. But for others—like people who travel five days a week, changing time zones or schedules frequently—the diet will bring more stress than weight loss or other potential health perks. If the idea of watching the clock for permission to eat sounds unappealing to you, sit this one out.

4. It doesn’t always play nice with other diets.

Boules says intermittent fasting is often combined with other restrictive diets, like keto, which can cause double-trouble if either of those approaches—or heaven forbid both—aren’t right for you.

Adopting a diet plan that means you can only eat lean protein and vegetables between the hours of 1 and 9 p.m. every day doesn’t exactly set you up for winning any popularity contests with your friends and family (not to mention the mental fatigue that comes with jumping through meal-planning hoops on the regular), Boules points out.

But hey, your diet choices are your own, and if you are up for the challenge of navigating an intense and strict food routine and your personal life, that’s entirely your decision.

5. You may deal with low blood sugar.

This is why people with diabetes should steer clear of fasting. Low blood sugar, or hypoglycemia is a side effect of diabetes and insulin medication, but it can happen to non-diabetics, too (if you have thyroid disease, for example).

Not eating enough and skipping meals are common triggers for hypoglycemia. So, “people prone to hypoglycemia might feel dizzy or have nausea or shaking,” warns Dr. Seltzer.

Other symptoms of mild to moderate hypoglycemia include headache, blurred vision, sweating, fatigue, and paleness, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.

6. The research is minimal.

Look, we all know the internet is full of so-called health claims made by “experts” about the best diets. And while the field of research on intermittent fasting isn’t empty, Boules is hesitant to jump on the bandwagon based on what she’s seen so far.

“Despite a deluge of articles citing studies, solid evidence in support of intermittent fasting as a superior approach to eating just isn’t there yet,” she says.

What studies is Boules referring to? Well, most of the more compelling ones were actually performed on rodents. Human studies have not shown the same scope of evidence.

A few examples: A 2018 study published in Nutrition and Healthy Aging showed weight-loss results after 12 weeks of 16:8 intermittent fasting—but the sample size was only 23 people. A 2017 study in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that a fasting group of 100 participants lost more weight over a 12-month period than a non-dieting group, but not more than a group that cut calories overall.

There also remains debate about whether the actual fasting is responsible for the health benefits, or if it’s simply the reduction in calories.

This isn’t to say that better, more conclusive research won’t ever become available, but as Boules said, we’ve got a ways to go before we understand everything about intermittent fasting.

7. It doesn’t help you create mindful eating habits.

While Boules admits that intermittent fasting can be a great strategy for curbing mindless late-night snacking, it can totally work against mindful eating, too. Rather than thinking about whether or not you’re truly hungry, you’re simply eating by the clock.

“I encourage my clients to [evaluate their hunger] on a daily basis and act accordingly,” she says. “Every day is different for sleep, exercise, stress, hormones, and schedule, which all affects appetite. It’s one of many reasons I don’t believe it’s healthy to apply ‘rules’ to your food philosophy.”

8. You can take it too far.

Even in dieting, moderation is key; no diet is sustainable if you’re unable to adapt it to your lifestyle as needed. For example, Dr. Seltzer reiterates that many athletes need a morning meal and see better results when they eat before training. Sticking to a strict intermittent fasting schedule in that example precludes that.

Boules agrees: “I [have seen] people not consuming anything but water prior to a challenging morning workout and for several hours after—this is simply not a good idea.”

Ultimately, if you’re just not sure how to feel about intermittent fasting, don’t hesitate to hash it out with a pro, like an RD or doc you trust.

At the end of the day, if you’re a healthy adult, intermittent fasting probably won’t do damage (even if it turns out to not be a good fit for you personally). Dr. Seltzer and Boules both acknowledge the control it teaches, though they remain on the fence about whether the potential side effects outweigh the benefits.

“Please understand this will not work for everyone and is not required for good health,” Boules says. “While I’m watching the research and will own it if I’m proven wrong, I think it’s yet another example of a fad approach to wellness.”

Sarah Bradley Sarah Bradley is a freelancer writer from Connecticut, where she lives with her husband and three sons.

Source link Keto Diet and Exercise

[fuckyeahtattoogirls-blog1]

Is Intermittent Fasting Bad For You? Pros And Cons To Consider

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/is-intermittent-fasting-bad-for-you-pros-and-cons-to-consider/

Is Intermittent Fasting Bad For You? Pros And Cons To Consider

Let’s be honest: The word “fasting” doesn’t exactly bring up delicious thoughts and positive vibes. For plenty of people, it probably conjures up images of starvation and deprivation and makes their stomach start growling.

Yet, intermittent fasting has so many folks going wild right now, raving about how the strict-and-scheduled eating plans helped them lose weight and improve their health. So there must be *some* good in the health and weight-loss fad, right?

Charlie Seltzer, MD, weight-loss physician and certified personal trainer, points out that what most people are doing nowadays isn’t “true” fasting (in other words, eating only one meal per day or nothing at all in a day’s period). Instead, they’re intermittent fasting (duh), meaning they’re taking an approach to eating that involves restricting calorie consumption to a certain window of time each day, like only from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. (so you fast for 16 hours, a.k.a. a 16:8 diet).

The logic behind periodic fasting as a weight-loss approach: “Since you need to have a calorie deficit to lose weight, eating within a window makes it easier to eat less and hit your designated calories,” Dr. Seltzer explains.

Intermittent fasting has some pros beyond weight loss, too, says Dr. Seltzer. It works with a lot of people’s lifestyles, allowing them to skip meals during the day when they’re busy or not super hungry and might otherwise just eat out of obligation. What’s more, following a 5:2 fasting schedule may even improve your heart health; fasting can lower blood pressure and bad cholesterol, according to Cleveland HeartLab.

“True fasting has a large variety of health benefits beyond those that occur with calorie restriction,” Dr. Seltzer adds. “It can cause something called cellular autophagy, where our cells eat themselves [to destroy damaged cells and make way for new, healthy ones].”

That said, intermittent fasting shouldn’t be attempted without some thought as to whether it’s really a good idea for your personality and lifestyle—and not just because it could be challenging to stick to, but because it could be downright bad for some groups of people.

Registered dietitian Barbie Boules of Barbie Boules Longevity Nutrition says the people who should not consider intermittent fasting are:

Folks with diabetes or other metabolic disorders

People taking medications that require food

Anyone with a history of disordered eating

Women who are pregnant or trying to conceive

Children and teenagers

But honestly, anyone who requires a consistent, healthy input of calories throughout the day to be healthy (physically *and* emotionally!) isn’t the ideal candidate to try intermittent fasting. If you’re unsure where you stand, it’s always wise to speak with a medical professional first.

Here are eight potential disadvantages, side effects, and straight-up warnings about intermittent fasting to keep in mind if you’re a healthy adult and thinking about trying it yourself.

1. You might feel way hungrier.

Surprise, surprise: Not eating for 16 hours a day could make you ravenously hungry, at least while you’re in an adjustment period.

In theory, says Dr. Seltzer, intense hunger shouldn’t happen while intermittent fasting using a plan such as the 16:8 method; if you’re fasting correctly by filling up on protein at the end of the day, you shouldn’t be hungry first thing in the morning. (Your appetite wouldn’t kick in until later on the following day.)

In reality, though, this might take some getting used to. “The main worry is setting off binge-eating behavior, because you are so hungry you’re eating 5,000 calories [and going way over your daily amount],” Dr. Seltzer explains.

In other words, only eating within a short window is not a free pass to set up camp at the all-you-can-eat buffet for eight hours, which would defeat the purpose of fasting. And this can be a huge challenge for many people who are used to eating much more regularly and who may not be totally in tune with their body’s hunger cues.

2. It might make you feel sick or fatigued in the morning, especially if you work out first thing.

Committed to your 6 a.m. workout? Intermittent fasting might not be a great choice. “I think it’s a terrible idea to exercise on an empty stomach,” says Boules. “We benefit from a little glucose before and some protein after.”

If you’re interested in experimenting with fasting periods and workout a ton, consider talking to a sports nutritionist or MD to assess your workout schedule and level of rigor. You might be okay fasting for a specific amount of time on days you don’t exercise, for instance. But if you’re, say, training for an endurance event, fueling your body around the clock and getting substantial calories is going to be much more important than trying to force fasting into your routine when your body is already being taxed by your training.

And even if you’re not a morning exerciser, not eating until, say, noon when you’re used to waking up and having breakfast at 8 a.m. may leave your stomach churning. In turn, you may feel off, a little lightheaded, or nauseous as you get used to the new schedule.

3. Fasting diets are rigid and rule-based.

Both Dr. Seltzer and Boules describe intermittent fasting as very individualized, meaning it could work well for some people and turn into a total disaster for others depending on a number of lifestyle factors.

Boules says that people who “like rules” might respond to the diet’s restrictive calorie window. But for others—like people who travel five days a week, changing time zones or schedules frequently—the diet will bring more stress than weight loss or other potential health perks. If the idea of watching the clock for permission to eat sounds unappealing to you, sit this one out.

4. It doesn’t always play nice with other diets.

Boules says intermittent fasting is often combined with other restrictive diets, like keto, which can cause double-trouble if either of those approaches—or heaven forbid both—aren’t right for you.

Adopting a diet plan that means you can only eat lean protein and vegetables between the hours of 1 and 9 p.m. every day doesn’t exactly set you up for winning any popularity contests with your friends and family (not to mention the mental fatigue that comes with jumping through meal-planning hoops on the regular), Boules points out.

But hey, your diet choices are your own, and if you are up for the challenge of navigating an intense and strict food routine and your personal life, that’s entirely your decision.

5. You may deal with low blood sugar.

This is why people with diabetes should steer clear of fasting. Low blood sugar, or hypoglycemia is a side effect of diabetes and insulin medication, but it can happen to non-diabetics, too (if you have thyroid disease, for example).

Not eating enough and skipping meals are common triggers for hypoglycemia. So, “people prone to hypoglycemia might feel dizzy or have nausea or shaking,” warns Dr. Seltzer.

Other symptoms of mild to moderate hypoglycemia include headache, blurred vision, sweating, fatigue, and paleness, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.

6. The research is minimal.

Look, we all know the internet is full of so-called health claims made by “experts” about the best diets. And while the field of research on intermittent fasting isn’t empty, Boules is hesitant to jump on the bandwagon based on what she’s seen so far.

“Despite a deluge of articles citing studies, solid evidence in support of intermittent fasting as a superior approach to eating just isn’t there yet,” she says.

What studies is Boules referring to? Well, most of the more compelling ones were actually performed on rodents. Human studies have not shown the same scope of evidence.

A few examples: A 2018 study published in Nutrition and Healthy Aging showed weight-loss results after 12 weeks of 16:8 intermittent fasting—but the sample size was only 23 people. A 2017 study in JAMA Internal Medicine showed that a fasting group of 100 participants lost more weight over a 12-month period than a non-dieting group, but not more than a group that cut calories overall.

There also remains debate about whether the actual fasting is responsible for the health benefits, or if it’s simply the reduction in calories.

This isn’t to say that better, more conclusive research won’t ever become available, but as Boules said, we’ve got a ways to go before we understand everything about intermittent fasting.

7. It doesn’t help you create mindful eating habits.

While Boules admits that intermittent fasting can be a great strategy for curbing mindless late-night snacking, it can totally work against mindful eating, too. Rather than thinking about whether or not you’re truly hungry, you’re simply eating by the clock.

“I encourage my clients to [evaluate their hunger] on a daily basis and act accordingly,” she says. “Every day is different for sleep, exercise, stress, hormones, and schedule, which all affects appetite. It’s one of many reasons I don’t believe it’s healthy to apply ‘rules’ to your food philosophy.”

8. You can take it too far.

Even in dieting, moderation is key; no diet is sustainable if you’re unable to adapt it to your lifestyle as needed. For example, Dr. Seltzer reiterates that many athletes need a morning meal and see better results when they eat before training. Sticking to a strict intermittent fasting schedule in that example precludes that.

Boules agrees: “I [have seen] people not consuming anything but water prior to a challenging morning workout and for several hours after—this is simply not a good idea.”

Ultimately, if you’re just not sure how to feel about intermittent fasting, don’t hesitate to hash it out with a pro, like an RD or doc you trust.

At the end of the day, if you’re a healthy adult, intermittent fasting probably won’t do damage (even if it turns out to not be a good fit for you personally). Dr. Seltzer and Boules both acknowledge the control it teaches, though they remain on the fence about whether the potential side effects outweigh the benefits.

“Please understand this will not work for everyone and is not required for good health,” Boules says. “While I’m watching the research and will own it if I’m proven wrong, I think it’s yet another example of a fad approach to wellness.”

Sarah Bradley Sarah Bradley is a freelancer writer from Connecticut, where she lives with her husband and three sons.

Source link Keto Diet and Exercise

[travelguy4444]

Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears

Posted: 2/7/2019 | Febuary 7th, 2019

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how other solo female travelers get over their fears!

Over the years, a lot of women have admitted to me that they made travel plans — only to cancel the trip before they went.

Fear and anxiety got in the way.

There’s a little something about solo traveling that almost nobody talks about.

It’s more common than you think – especially for first time female travelers.

After all, there’s a lot we have to worry about when we go out.

For a lot of us, these worries can be crippling.

When the usual worries about loneliness, safety, and boredom creep in, I remind myself that getting to have this experience abroad will be worth it. I visualize success by picturing myself on the beach, laughing with new friends, and having a fantastic trip. Those good vibes are often enough to make it all come true.

Then I wondered, how do other women kick fear to the curb and live out their solo travel dreams?

So I posed the question to the women in my Facebook group. This is what they said:

“Realize that time with yourself is a luxury” – Alex, 29, Florida

I started traveling solo when I was about 20 years old. I booked my first solo trip because I became tired of waiting around for friends to join me. At the time, I was going to grad school in Barcelona, and I wanted to take the opportunity to travel as much as possible while I lived in Europe. I realized that if I didn’t go by myself, I wouldn’t get to go at all, and I’d miss a huge opportunity to see this part of the world simply out of fear. I weighed all the possible bad things that could happen and decided to face my fear and book my tickets.

I set off on a three-week trip to Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. It ended up being such an incredible trip, and I met so many people that ever since, I’ve become a solo traveler almost exclusively.

I’ve learned how to really enjoy time with myself and not be afraid of being alone. I have the freedom to meet new people and hang with them, but also the freedom to take time to myself when I need it. Through solo travel, I’ve become more confident and more aware of all the great qualities that I have. I’ve learned that I’m not as afraid as I thought and that I can be incredibly resourceful.

The more you research, the better prepared you’ll feel (Yana, 32, Boston, Massachusetts, of Beard and Curly)

I always wanted to travel but found it really hard to get others to commit to go with me. After a friend bailed on me last-minute, I realized that I shouldn’t depend on anyone to go experience the world. At first, it was scary to be on my own. My most debilitating fear was being lonely. Was I always going to be alone? Would it be weird to eat at a restaurant on my own? Also, would I be able to depend on myself for everything, from getting to my hostel safely to navigating a city?

To conquer my fears, I did a lot of research to familiarize myself with the places I was visiting. I also asked other travelers on forums and social media platforms about their experience. Their words encouraged me. Taking the time to research and plan made me feel more comfortable about traveling alone. I have now visited over 120 countries, mostly on my own.

If I can survive at home, why should it be different elsewhere? (Sarah, 52, from the UK, living in Italy)

I started solo traveling only after I was widowed. I realized that it was a case of go alone or stay at home, and never going anywhere was a lot scarier than going by myself!

I built my confidence by starting slowly, adding on days in new places to trips to see family and friends. The first time, it was a stopover in Sydney on my way home from Christchurch. The next time, I did a few days in Auckland before catching up with family in Australia. My next trip will be two weeks completely solo in Thailand next month.

I research my destinations thoroughly so that I know what to expect and what I want to see and do. I book hotels and transport in advance, and sometimes tours too, which are a good way of meeting other people on the road. I use the street-view function on Google Maps to check the location of hotels or hostels and have a virtual “walk” around the area. This allows me to avoid booking anywhere too isolated, at the end of dark alleys, or just in neighborhoods I wouldn’t feel safe in alone. My sense of direction is terrible, so getting an idea of where everything is in advance makes me feel a lot more confident. I also always try to make sure that my flights arrive during daytime and find out how to get from the airport to my accommodation in advance, so that I know exactly where I’m going upon arrival, when I’m likely to be tired.

I realized that people are mostly good (Isabella, 25, from Chicago, Illinois)

I think I got over that initial fear of traveling alone by realizing how exciting that level of independence was — I had some money and some time, and I could do absolutely anything that I wanted with it. Plus, my fears are always assuaged by the fact that everywhere I’ve been, there have been kind people there who are willing to help and teach me.

In Japan, a local offered help when I was lost, and instead of just directing me to my train stop/transfer, he came with me and walked me the whole way. In Myanmar, a group of locals rushed over to help me when I fell off my scooter; they didn’t speak a word of English but their action made me realize that kindness itself is a universal language. This helped me overcome my fears and become braver.

Do one small thing everyday (Michelle, 45, from Alaska, of Pursuing Seven)

I’m currently a couple months into a three-continent mission to complete my goal of visiting all seven continents. At the time of writing this, I am sitting in Christchurch, New Zealand, waiting for weather to clear in Antarctica so my flight can get there, where I will be working for four months. I wasn’t always this fearless and adventurous, but I am definitely proud of who I have become.

Setting realistic expectations — which probably means lowering them — helped me overcome my fear of solo traveling. It sounds counterintuitive at first, but being realistic truly ends up being a gift to myself (and my mental sanity). Not every day is going to be epic, and as a solo traveler you’ll be the making all the decisions and solving all the travel problems you encounter, which takes a lot of energy some days. Especially at the beginning, while you’re finding your solo-travel groove, cut yourself some slack; do one small thing every day that makes you happy, and when you have an epic day, soak it all in!

Utilize tours and apps to gain confidence (Peggy, 45, from San Francisco, California)

My first solo trip was the typical post-college European trip, and my friend had to leave early. It was only one week of solo travel, but I learned and gained self-confidence that I could do this and survive. 🙂 Decades later, I decided to follow my passion of seeing the world. I’ve been traveling for over two years, the majority of it solo.

I typically start a new city with a free or nominally priced walking tour. They provide a great overview of the place and its history and culture, plus local tips. I have met people on these walking tours that range from going to sightseeing together the rest of the day to friends that I still stay in touch with to this day.

I also check the Couchsurfing and Meetup apps for local events. Through these, I have great memories of going to the Notte Bianca festival in Malta, hiking to small towns outside of Frankfurt, and attending a weekly coffee meetup in Brno and social events in Budapest, Istanbul, and Bishkek. When traveling solo, I’m not in a bubble with my friends. I become more aware of my surroundings and find myself more open to local interaction, which has led to countless examples of people being incredibly kind and helpful.

Start from your own city (Kathleen, 33, from Boston, of Lonesome Roads)

Once I realized I wanted to try traveling solo, I decided I needed to practice first. I started in my home city of Boston: going to a museum on my own, then a movie solo. After that, lunch alone at a nice place, and then dinner out by myself (I think eating alone can be the biggest thing to get used to!). Finally, I spent two days all by myself in Portland, where I had lived for a year, so it was familiar enough to be comfortable, but I was fully on my own. And I had a wonderful time! I chatted with people in bars, I had a romantic dinner alone while doing some top-notch people-watching, and walked everywhere.

I then fully set off: solo trips to Miami and LA, then a stopover in Iceland for two days by myself when coming back from a trip with a friend, and then six days alone in Copenhagen. I loved it so much that right now, I’m two months into a yearlong solo trip in Europe and Southeast Asia!

I’ve learned that politeness and a few words of the local language will get you everywhere. That people are overwhelmingly kind and generous. And that traveling solo gives my curiosity free rein in a way that’s incredibly freeing, whether it’s exploring operas in Paris or befriending an Icelandic girl in line for a bar bathroom. If I’m brave enough, you’re brave enough too. You just might need a little practice.

Take the risk (Caitlyn, 27 from Brisbane, Australia, of Girl Seeking Purpose)

Before departing on my six-month solo adventure through South America, I was plagued with doubt and fear about all of the possible outcomes of traveling alone. I was concerned about whether it was safe as a solo female to travel in developing countries and if I would be able to reach all of my intended destinations without confirmed travel partners ahead of time. Most of all, I was concerned that I might not meet anyone on the road to travel and share my experiences with. I was absolutely terrified by the idea of being alone.

After reading countless blog posts and forums, I began to realize that all of the fears I had about solo travel were the same fears we all have before we take that leap into anything new and unknown. It then became clear that if I lived my entire life afraid of all of the possible things that could go wrong in any given situation, then I would never leave my comfort zone, let alone my house or my country. That just didn’t sound like the life I wanted for myself.

Realizing this, I made the decision to face all of these fears head on by acknowledging their existence. I decided that I was going to push on to make my dreams a reality with or without them in the back of my mind. Identifying that it was normal to have these concerns and to realize it was possible to overcome them gave me the strength and confidence I needed to get on the plane.

During the final days before my flight, I reassured myself that once I arrived it would all just fall into place and work itself out. And that is exactly what happened. It was one of the most incredible, life-changing, and defining moments of my life, and I am so glad I didn’t let the fears stop me from taking that leap.

Start small and familiar (Shae, 41, from Melbourne, Australia, of The Bright Eyed Explorer)

I’d always traveled with other people, but at age 36, I just couldn’t rely on the comfort and security that traveling with friends brings if I wanted to fulfill my dreams of traveling the world. I am a relatively shy and somewhat introverted person, especially around strangers, so the thought of being in an unfamiliar country and having to talk to people I didn’t know and perhaps not understand made my stomach churn!

For me, starting my solo travels small scale and in a place that I was very familiar with helped ease those fears I had of traveling alone. I’d been to Bali five times prior to my first solo trip, so I was confident and comfortable with my surroundings, the people, and the lifestyle. This comfort then enabled me to push myself a little further — talking to strangers, asking for help when I needed it — but also learn to appreciate the time I had to myself in restaurants and bars.

I have since traveled solo extensively through Europe and Australia (which is home), but there are still times that I still get a little nervous and anxious about my upcoming trip. Generally, if this happens, I give myself a bit of a pep talk and remind myself that I am strong and brave. This will generally give me a little confidence boost, which gets then builds up my excitement levels and then I am so ready to travel.

***

I hope these stories help to show that there is no special gene, life experience, background, or age that makes someone a good solo traveler. It doesn’t even require bravery to travel alone — lots of us built that up along the way instead.

So please don’t let all of the things that could go wrong hold you back from your dreams. Most of what we worry about — not just related to travel but to life in general — never comes to pass anyway. Focus on the adventures, the good times, the sunsets with new friends, and the learning experiences. The biggest step is just to make the decision and stick with it. After that, the rest falls into place.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewher eother than a hotel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

The post Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

source https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/getting-over-travel-fears/

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Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears

Posted: 2/7/2019 | Febuary 7th, 2019

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how other solo female travelers get over their fears!

Over the years, a lot of women have admitted to me that they made travel plans — only to cancel the trip before they went.

Fear and anxiety got in the way.

There’s a little something about solo traveling that almost nobody talks about.

It’s more common than you think – especially for first time female travelers.

After all, there’s a lot we have to worry about when we go out.

For a lot of us, these worries can be crippling.

When the usual worries about loneliness, safety, and boredom creep in, I remind myself that getting to have this experience abroad will be worth it. I visualize success by picturing myself on the beach, laughing with new friends, and having a fantastic trip. Those good vibes are often enough to make it all come true.

Then I wondered, how do other women kick fear to the curb and live out their solo travel dreams?

So I posed the question to the women in my Facebook group. This is what they said:

“Realize that time with yourself is a luxury” – Alex, 29, Florida

I started traveling solo when I was about 20 years old. I booked my first solo trip because I became tired of waiting around for friends to join me. At the time, I was going to grad school in Barcelona, and I wanted to take the opportunity to travel as much as possible while I lived in Europe. I realized that if I didn’t go by myself, I wouldn’t get to go at all, and I’d miss a huge opportunity to see this part of the world simply out of fear. I weighed all the possible bad things that could happen and decided to face my fear and book my tickets.

I set off on a three-week trip to Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. It ended up being such an incredible trip, and I met so many people that ever since, I’ve become a solo traveler almost exclusively.

I’ve learned how to really enjoy time with myself and not be afraid of being alone. I have the freedom to meet new people and hang with them, but also the freedom to take time to myself when I need it. Through solo travel, I’ve become more confident and more aware of all the great qualities that I have. I’ve learned that I’m not as afraid as I thought and that I can be incredibly resourceful.

The more you research, the better prepared you’ll feel (Yana, 32, Boston, Massachusetts, of Beard and Curly)

I always wanted to travel but found it really hard to get others to commit to go with me. After a friend bailed on me last-minute, I realized that I shouldn’t depend on anyone to go experience the world. At first, it was scary to be on my own. My most debilitating fear was being lonely. Was I always going to be alone? Would it be weird to eat at a restaurant on my own? Also, would I be able to depend on myself for everything, from getting to my hostel safely to navigating a city?

To conquer my fears, I did a lot of research to familiarize myself with the places I was visiting. I also asked other travelers on forums and social media platforms about their experience. Their words encouraged me. Taking the time to research and plan made me feel more comfortable about traveling alone. I have now visited over 120 countries, mostly on my own.

If I can survive at home, why should it be different elsewhere? (Sarah, 52, from the UK, living in Italy)

I started solo traveling only after I was widowed. I realized that it was a case of go alone or stay at home, and never going anywhere was a lot scarier than going by myself!

I built my confidence by starting slowly, adding on days in new places to trips to see family and friends. The first time, it was a stopover in Sydney on my way home from Christchurch. The next time, I did a few days in Auckland before catching up with family in Australia. My next trip will be two weeks completely solo in Thailand next month.

I research my destinations thoroughly so that I know what to expect and what I want to see and do. I book hotels and transport in advance, and sometimes tours too, which are a good way of meeting other people on the road. I use the street-view function on Google Maps to check the location of hotels or hostels and have a virtual “walk” around the area. This allows me to avoid booking anywhere too isolated, at the end of dark alleys, or just in neighborhoods I wouldn’t feel safe in alone. My sense of direction is terrible, so getting an idea of where everything is in advance makes me feel a lot more confident. I also always try to make sure that my flights arrive during daytime and find out how to get from the airport to my accommodation in advance, so that I know exactly where I’m going upon arrival, when I’m likely to be tired.

I realized that people are mostly good (Isabella, 25, from Chicago, Illinois)

I think I got over that initial fear of traveling alone by realizing how exciting that level of independence was — I had some money and some time, and I could do absolutely anything that I wanted with it. Plus, my fears are always assuaged by the fact that everywhere I’ve been, there have been kind people there who are willing to help and teach me.

In Japan, a local offered help when I was lost, and instead of just directing me to my train stop/transfer, he came with me and walked me the whole way. In Myanmar, a group of locals rushed over to help me when I fell off my scooter; they didn’t speak a word of English but their action made me realize that kindness itself is a universal language. This helped me overcome my fears and become braver.

Do one small thing everyday (Michelle, 45, from Alaska, of Pursuing Seven)

I’m currently a couple months into a three-continent mission to complete my goal of visiting all seven continents. At the time of writing this, I am sitting in Christchurch, New Zealand, waiting for weather to clear in Antarctica so my flight can get there, where I will be working for four months. I wasn’t always this fearless and adventurous, but I am definitely proud of who I have become.

Setting realistic expectations — which probably means lowering them — helped me overcome my fear of solo traveling. It sounds counterintuitive at first, but being realistic truly ends up being a gift to myself (and my mental sanity). Not every day is going to be epic, and as a solo traveler you’ll be the making all the decisions and solving all the travel problems you encounter, which takes a lot of energy some days. Especially at the beginning, while you’re finding your solo-travel groove, cut yourself some slack; do one small thing every day that makes you happy, and when you have an epic day, soak it all in!

Utilize tours and apps to gain confidence (Peggy, 45, from San Francisco, California)

My first solo trip was the typical post-college European trip, and my friend had to leave early. It was only one week of solo travel, but I learned and gained self-confidence that I could do this and survive. 🙂 Decades later, I decided to follow my passion of seeing the world. I’ve been traveling for over two years, the majority of it solo.

I typically start a new city with a free or nominally priced walking tour. They provide a great overview of the place and its history and culture, plus local tips. I have met people on these walking tours that range from going to sightseeing together the rest of the day to friends that I still stay in touch with to this day.

I also check the Couchsurfing and Meetup apps for local events. Through these, I have great memories of going to the Notte Bianca festival in Malta, hiking to small towns outside of Frankfurt, and attending a weekly coffee meetup in Brno and social events in Budapest, Istanbul, and Bishkek. When traveling solo, I’m not in a bubble with my friends. I become more aware of my surroundings and find myself more open to local interaction, which has led to countless examples of people being incredibly kind and helpful.

Start from your own city (Kathleen, 33, from Boston, of Lonesome Roads)

Once I realized I wanted to try traveling solo, I decided I needed to practice first. I started in my home city of Boston: going to a museum on my own, then a movie solo. After that, lunch alone at a nice place, and then dinner out by myself (I think eating alone can be the biggest thing to get used to!). Finally, I spent two days all by myself in Portland, where I had lived for a year, so it was familiar enough to be comfortable, but I was fully on my own. And I had a wonderful time! I chatted with people in bars, I had a romantic dinner alone while doing some top-notch people-watching, and walked everywhere.

I then fully set off: solo trips to Miami and LA, then a stopover in Iceland for two days by myself when coming back from a trip with a friend, and then six days alone in Copenhagen. I loved it so much that right now, I’m two months into a yearlong solo trip in Europe and Southeast Asia!

I’ve learned that politeness and a few words of the local language will get you everywhere. That people are overwhelmingly kind and generous. And that traveling solo gives my curiosity free rein in a way that’s incredibly freeing, whether it’s exploring operas in Paris or befriending an Icelandic girl in line for a bar bathroom. If I’m brave enough, you’re brave enough too. You just might need a little practice.

Take the risk (Caitlyn, 27 from Brisbane, Australia, of Girl Seeking Purpose)

Before departing on my six-month solo adventure through South America, I was plagued with doubt and fear about all of the possible outcomes of traveling alone. I was concerned about whether it was safe as a solo female to travel in developing countries and if I would be able to reach all of my intended destinations without confirmed travel partners ahead of time. Most of all, I was concerned that I might not meet anyone on the road to travel and share my experiences with. I was absolutely terrified by the idea of being alone.

After reading countless blog posts and forums, I began to realize that all of the fears I had about solo travel were the same fears we all have before we take that leap into anything new and unknown. It then became clear that if I lived my entire life afraid of all of the possible things that could go wrong in any given situation, then I would never leave my comfort zone, let alone my house or my country. That just didn’t sound like the life I wanted for myself.

Realizing this, I made the decision to face all of these fears head on by acknowledging their existence. I decided that I was going to push on to make my dreams a reality with or without them in the back of my mind. Identifying that it was normal to have these concerns and to realize it was possible to overcome them gave me the strength and confidence I needed to get on the plane.

During the final days before my flight, I reassured myself that once I arrived it would all just fall into place and work itself out. And that is exactly what happened. It was one of the most incredible, life-changing, and defining moments of my life, and I am so glad I didn’t let the fears stop me from taking that leap.

Start small and familiar (Shae, 41, from Melbourne, Australia, of The Bright Eyed Explorer)

I’d always traveled with other people, but at age 36, I just couldn’t rely on the comfort and security that traveling with friends brings if I wanted to fulfill my dreams of traveling the world. I am a relatively shy and somewhat introverted person, especially around strangers, so the thought of being in an unfamiliar country and having to talk to people I didn’t know and perhaps not understand made my stomach churn!

For me, starting my solo travels small scale and in a place that I was very familiar with helped ease those fears I had of traveling alone. I’d been to Bali five times prior to my first solo trip, so I was confident and comfortable with my surroundings, the people, and the lifestyle. This comfort then enabled me to push myself a little further — talking to strangers, asking for help when I needed it — but also learn to appreciate the time I had to myself in restaurants and bars.

I have since traveled solo extensively through Europe and Australia (which is home), but there are still times that I still get a little nervous and anxious about my upcoming trip. Generally, if this happens, I give myself a bit of a pep talk and remind myself that I am strong and brave. This will generally give me a little confidence boost, which gets then builds up my excitement levels and then I am so ready to travel.

***

I hope these stories help to show that there is no special gene, life experience, background, or age that makes someone a good solo traveler. It doesn’t even require bravery to travel alone — lots of us built that up along the way instead.

So please don’t let all of the things that could go wrong hold you back from your dreams. Most of what we worry about — not just related to travel but to life in general — never comes to pass anyway. Focus on the adventures, the good times, the sunsets with new friends, and the learning experiences. The biggest step is just to make the decision and stick with it. After that, the rest falls into place.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewher eother than a hotel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

The post Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/getting-over-travel-fears/

[vidovicart]

Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears

Posted: 2/7/2019 | Febuary 7th, 2019

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how other solo female travelers get over their fears!

Over the years, a lot of women have admitted to me that they made travel plans — only to cancel the trip before they went.

Fear and anxiety got in the way.

There’s a little something about solo traveling that almost nobody talks about.

It’s more common than you think – especially for first time female travelers.

After all, there’s a lot we have to worry about when we go out.

For a lot of us, these worries can be crippling.

When the usual worries about loneliness, safety, and boredom creep in, I remind myself that getting to have this experience abroad will be worth it. I visualize success by picturing myself on the beach, laughing with new friends, and having a fantastic trip. Those good vibes are often enough to make it all come true.

Then I wondered, how do other women kick fear to the curb and live out their solo travel dreams?

So I posed the question to the women in my Facebook group. This is what they said:

“Realize that time with yourself is a luxury” – Alex, 29, Florida

I started traveling solo when I was about 20 years old. I booked my first solo trip because I became tired of waiting around for friends to join me. At the time, I was going to grad school in Barcelona, and I wanted to take the opportunity to travel as much as possible while I lived in Europe. I realized that if I didn’t go by myself, I wouldn’t get to go at all, and I’d miss a huge opportunity to see this part of the world simply out of fear. I weighed all the possible bad things that could happen and decided to face my fear and book my tickets.

I set off on a three-week trip to Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. It ended up being such an incredible trip, and I met so many people that ever since, I’ve become a solo traveler almost exclusively.

I’ve learned how to really enjoy time with myself and not be afraid of being alone. I have the freedom to meet new people and hang with them, but also the freedom to take time to myself when I need it. Through solo travel, I’ve become more confident and more aware of all the great qualities that I have. I’ve learned that I’m not as afraid as I thought and that I can be incredibly resourceful.

The more you research, the better prepared you’ll feel (Yana, 32, Boston, Massachusetts, of Beard and Curly)

I always wanted to travel but found it really hard to get others to commit to go with me. After a friend bailed on me last-minute, I realized that I shouldn’t depend on anyone to go experience the world. At first, it was scary to be on my own. My most debilitating fear was being lonely. Was I always going to be alone? Would it be weird to eat at a restaurant on my own? Also, would I be able to depend on myself for everything, from getting to my hostel safely to navigating a city?

To conquer my fears, I did a lot of research to familiarize myself with the places I was visiting. I also asked other travelers on forums and social media platforms about their experience. Their words encouraged me. Taking the time to research and plan made me feel more comfortable about traveling alone. I have now visited over 120 countries, mostly on my own.

If I can survive at home, why should it be different elsewhere? (Sarah, 52, from the UK, living in Italy)

I started solo traveling only after I was widowed. I realized that it was a case of go alone or stay at home, and never going anywhere was a lot scarier than going by myself!

I built my confidence by starting slowly, adding on days in new places to trips to see family and friends. The first time, it was a stopover in Sydney on my way home from Christchurch. The next time, I did a few days in Auckland before catching up with family in Australia. My next trip will be two weeks completely solo in Thailand next month.

I research my destinations thoroughly so that I know what to expect and what I want to see and do. I book hotels and transport in advance, and sometimes tours too, which are a good way of meeting other people on the road. I use the street-view function on Google Maps to check the location of hotels or hostels and have a virtual “walk” around the area. This allows me to avoid booking anywhere too isolated, at the end of dark alleys, or just in neighborhoods I wouldn’t feel safe in alone. My sense of direction is terrible, so getting an idea of where everything is in advance makes me feel a lot more confident. I also always try to make sure that my flights arrive during daytime and find out how to get from the airport to my accommodation in advance, so that I know exactly where I’m going upon arrival, when I’m likely to be tired.

I realized that people are mostly good (Isabella, 25, from Chicago, Illinois)

I think I got over that initial fear of traveling alone by realizing how exciting that level of independence was — I had some money and some time, and I could do absolutely anything that I wanted with it. Plus, my fears are always assuaged by the fact that everywhere I’ve been, there have been kind people there who are willing to help and teach me.

In Japan, a local offered help when I was lost, and instead of just directing me to my train stop/transfer, he came with me and walked me the whole way. In Myanmar, a group of locals rushed over to help me when I fell off my scooter; they didn’t speak a word of English but their action made me realize that kindness itself is a universal language. This helped me overcome my fears and become braver.

Do one small thing everyday (Michelle, 45, from Alaska, of Pursuing Seven)

I’m currently a couple months into a three-continent mission to complete my goal of visiting all seven continents. At the time of writing this, I am sitting in Christchurch, New Zealand, waiting for weather to clear in Antarctica so my flight can get there, where I will be working for four months. I wasn’t always this fearless and adventurous, but I am definitely proud of who I have become.

Setting realistic expectations — which probably means lowering them — helped me overcome my fear of solo traveling. It sounds counterintuitive at first, but being realistic truly ends up being a gift to myself (and my mental sanity). Not every day is going to be epic, and as a solo traveler you’ll be the making all the decisions and solving all the travel problems you encounter, which takes a lot of energy some days. Especially at the beginning, while you’re finding your solo-travel groove, cut yourself some slack; do one small thing every day that makes you happy, and when you have an epic day, soak it all in!

Utilize tours and apps to gain confidence (Peggy, 45, from San Francisco, California)

My first solo trip was the typical post-college European trip, and my friend had to leave early. It was only one week of solo travel, but I learned and gained self-confidence that I could do this and survive. 🙂 Decades later, I decided to follow my passion of seeing the world. I’ve been traveling for over two years, the majority of it solo.

I typically start a new city with a free or nominally priced walking tour. They provide a great overview of the place and its history and culture, plus local tips. I have met people on these walking tours that range from going to sightseeing together the rest of the day to friends that I still stay in touch with to this day.

I also check the Couchsurfing and Meetup apps for local events. Through these, I have great memories of going to the Notte Bianca festival in Malta, hiking to small towns outside of Frankfurt, and attending a weekly coffee meetup in Brno and social events in Budapest, Istanbul, and Bishkek. When traveling solo, I’m not in a bubble with my friends. I become more aware of my surroundings and find myself more open to local interaction, which has led to countless examples of people being incredibly kind and helpful.

Start from your own city (Kathleen, 33, from Boston, of Lonesome Roads)

Once I realized I wanted to try traveling solo, I decided I needed to practice first. I started in my home city of Boston: going to a museum on my own, then a movie solo. After that, lunch alone at a nice place, and then dinner out by myself (I think eating alone can be the biggest thing to get used to!). Finally, I spent two days all by myself in Portland, where I had lived for a year, so it was familiar enough to be comfortable, but I was fully on my own. And I had a wonderful time! I chatted with people in bars, I had a romantic dinner alone while doing some top-notch people-watching, and walked everywhere.

I then fully set off: solo trips to Miami and LA, then a stopover in Iceland for two days by myself when coming back from a trip with a friend, and then six days alone in Copenhagen. I loved it so much that right now, I’m two months into a yearlong solo trip in Europe and Southeast Asia!

I’ve learned that politeness and a few words of the local language will get you everywhere. That people are overwhelmingly kind and generous. And that traveling solo gives my curiosity free rein in a way that’s incredibly freeing, whether it’s exploring operas in Paris or befriending an Icelandic girl in line for a bar bathroom. If I’m brave enough, you’re brave enough too. You just might need a little practice.

Take the risk (Caitlyn, 27 from Brisbane, Australia, of Girl Seeking Purpose)

Before departing on my six-month solo adventure through South America, I was plagued with doubt and fear about all of the possible outcomes of traveling alone. I was concerned about whether it was safe as a solo female to travel in developing countries and if I would be able to reach all of my intended destinations without confirmed travel partners ahead of time. Most of all, I was concerned that I might not meet anyone on the road to travel and share my experiences with. I was absolutely terrified by the idea of being alone.

After reading countless blog posts and forums, I began to realize that all of the fears I had about solo travel were the same fears we all have before we take that leap into anything new and unknown. It then became clear that if I lived my entire life afraid of all of the possible things that could go wrong in any given situation, then I would never leave my comfort zone, let alone my house or my country. That just didn’t sound like the life I wanted for myself.

Realizing this, I made the decision to face all of these fears head on by acknowledging their existence. I decided that I was going to push on to make my dreams a reality with or without them in the back of my mind. Identifying that it was normal to have these concerns and to realize it was possible to overcome them gave me the strength and confidence I needed to get on the plane.

During the final days before my flight, I reassured myself that once I arrived it would all just fall into place and work itself out. And that is exactly what happened. It was one of the most incredible, life-changing, and defining moments of my life, and I am so glad I didn’t let the fears stop me from taking that leap.

Start small and familiar (Shae, 41, from Melbourne, Australia, of The Bright Eyed Explorer)

I’d always traveled with other people, but at age 36, I just couldn’t rely on the comfort and security that traveling with friends brings if I wanted to fulfill my dreams of traveling the world. I am a relatively shy and somewhat introverted person, especially around strangers, so the thought of being in an unfamiliar country and having to talk to people I didn’t know and perhaps not understand made my stomach churn!

For me, starting my solo travels small scale and in a place that I was very familiar with helped ease those fears I had of traveling alone. I’d been to Bali five times prior to my first solo trip, so I was confident and comfortable with my surroundings, the people, and the lifestyle. This comfort then enabled me to push myself a little further — talking to strangers, asking for help when I needed it — but also learn to appreciate the time I had to myself in restaurants and bars.

I have since traveled solo extensively through Europe and Australia (which is home), but there are still times that I still get a little nervous and anxious about my upcoming trip. Generally, if this happens, I give myself a bit of a pep talk and remind myself that I am strong and brave. This will generally give me a little confidence boost, which gets then builds up my excitement levels and then I am so ready to travel.

***

I hope these stories help to show that there is no special gene, life experience, background, or age that makes someone a good solo traveler. It doesn’t even require bravery to travel alone — lots of us built that up along the way instead.

So please don’t let all of the things that could go wrong hold you back from your dreams. Most of what we worry about — not just related to travel but to life in general — never comes to pass anyway. Focus on the adventures, the good times, the sunsets with new friends, and the learning experiences. The biggest step is just to make the decision and stick with it. After that, the rest falls into place.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewher eother than a hotel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

The post Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

[tamboradventure]

Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears

Posted: 2/7/2019 | Febuary 7th, 2019

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how other solo female travelers get over their fears!

Over the years, a lot of women have admitted to me that they made travel plans — only to cancel the trip before they went.

Fear and anxiety got in the way.

There’s a little something about solo traveling that almost nobody talks about.

It’s more common than you think – especially for first time female travelers.

After all, there’s a lot we have to worry about when we go out.

For a lot of us, these worries can be crippling.

When the usual worries about loneliness, safety, and boredom creep in, I remind myself that getting to have this experience abroad will be worth it. I visualize success by picturing myself on the beach, laughing with new friends, and having a fantastic trip. Those good vibes are often enough to make it all come true.

Then I wondered, how do other women kick fear to the curb and live out their solo travel dreams?

So I posed the question to the women in my Facebook group. This is what they said:

“Realize that time with yourself is a luxury” – Alex, 29, Florida

I started traveling solo when I was about 20 years old. I booked my first solo trip because I became tired of waiting around for friends to join me. At the time, I was going to grad school in Barcelona, and I wanted to take the opportunity to travel as much as possible while I lived in Europe. I realized that if I didn’t go by myself, I wouldn’t get to go at all, and I’d miss a huge opportunity to see this part of the world simply out of fear. I weighed all the possible bad things that could happen and decided to face my fear and book my tickets.

I set off on a three-week trip to Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. It ended up being such an incredible trip, and I met so many people that ever since, I’ve become a solo traveler almost exclusively.

I’ve learned how to really enjoy time with myself and not be afraid of being alone. I have the freedom to meet new people and hang with them, but also the freedom to take time to myself when I need it. Through solo travel, I’ve become more confident and more aware of all the great qualities that I have. I’ve learned that I’m not as afraid as I thought and that I can be incredibly resourceful.

The more you research, the better prepared you’ll feel (Yana, 32, Boston, Massachusetts, of Beard and Curly)

I always wanted to travel but found it really hard to get others to commit to go with me. After a friend bailed on me last-minute, I realized that I shouldn’t depend on anyone to go experience the world. At first, it was scary to be on my own. My most debilitating fear was being lonely. Was I always going to be alone? Would it be weird to eat at a restaurant on my own? Also, would I be able to depend on myself for everything, from getting to my hostel safely to navigating a city?

To conquer my fears, I did a lot of research to familiarize myself with the places I was visiting. I also asked other travelers on forums and social media platforms about their experience. Their words encouraged me. Taking the time to research and plan made me feel more comfortable about traveling alone. I have now visited over 120 countries, mostly on my own.

If I can survive at home, why should it be different elsewhere? (Sarah, 52, from the UK, living in Italy)

I started solo traveling only after I was widowed. I realized that it was a case of go alone or stay at home, and never going anywhere was a lot scarier than going by myself!

I built my confidence by starting slowly, adding on days in new places to trips to see family and friends. The first time, it was a stopover in Sydney on my way home from Christchurch. The next time, I did a few days in Auckland before catching up with family in Australia. My next trip will be two weeks completely solo in Thailand next month.

I research my destinations thoroughly so that I know what to expect and what I want to see and do. I book hotels and transport in advance, and sometimes tours too, which are a good way of meeting other people on the road. I use the street-view function on Google Maps to check the location of hotels or hostels and have a virtual “walk” around the area. This allows me to avoid booking anywhere too isolated, at the end of dark alleys, or just in neighborhoods I wouldn’t feel safe in alone. My sense of direction is terrible, so getting an idea of where everything is in advance makes me feel a lot more confident. I also always try to make sure that my flights arrive during daytime and find out how to get from the airport to my accommodation in advance, so that I know exactly where I’m going upon arrival, when I’m likely to be tired.

I realized that people are mostly good (Isabella, 25, from Chicago, Illinois)

I think I got over that initial fear of traveling alone by realizing how exciting that level of independence was — I had some money and some time, and I could do absolutely anything that I wanted with it. Plus, my fears are always assuaged by the fact that everywhere I’ve been, there have been kind people there who are willing to help and teach me.

In Japan, a local offered help when I was lost, and instead of just directing me to my train stop/transfer, he came with me and walked me the whole way. In Myanmar, a group of locals rushed over to help me when I fell off my scooter; they didn’t speak a word of English but their action made me realize that kindness itself is a universal language. This helped me overcome my fears and become braver.

Do one small thing everyday (Michelle, 45, from Alaska, of Pursuing Seven)

I’m currently a couple months into a three-continent mission to complete my goal of visiting all seven continents. At the time of writing this, I am sitting in Christchurch, New Zealand, waiting for weather to clear in Antarctica so my flight can get there, where I will be working for four months. I wasn’t always this fearless and adventurous, but I am definitely proud of who I have become.

Setting realistic expectations — which probably means lowering them — helped me overcome my fear of solo traveling. It sounds counterintuitive at first, but being realistic truly ends up being a gift to myself (and my mental sanity). Not every day is going to be epic, and as a solo traveler you’ll be the making all the decisions and solving all the travel problems you encounter, which takes a lot of energy some days. Especially at the beginning, while you’re finding your solo-travel groove, cut yourself some slack; do one small thing every day that makes you happy, and when you have an epic day, soak it all in!

Utilize tours and apps to gain confidence (Peggy, 45, from San Francisco, California)

My first solo trip was the typical post-college European trip, and my friend had to leave early. It was only one week of solo travel, but I learned and gained self-confidence that I could do this and survive. 🙂 Decades later, I decided to follow my passion of seeing the world. I’ve been traveling for over two years, the majority of it solo.

I typically start a new city with a free or nominally priced walking tour. They provide a great overview of the place and its history and culture, plus local tips. I have met people on these walking tours that range from going to sightseeing together the rest of the day to friends that I still stay in touch with to this day.

I also check the Couchsurfing and Meetup apps for local events. Through these, I have great memories of going to the Notte Bianca festival in Malta, hiking to small towns outside of Frankfurt, and attending a weekly coffee meetup in Brno and social events in Budapest, Istanbul, and Bishkek. When traveling solo, I’m not in a bubble with my friends. I become more aware of my surroundings and find myself more open to local interaction, which has led to countless examples of people being incredibly kind and helpful.

Start from your own city (Kathleen, 33, from Boston, of Lonesome Roads)

Once I realized I wanted to try traveling solo, I decided I needed to practice first. I started in my home city of Boston: going to a museum on my own, then a movie solo. After that, lunch alone at a nice place, and then dinner out by myself (I think eating alone can be the biggest thing to get used to!). Finally, I spent two days all by myself in Portland, where I had lived for a year, so it was familiar enough to be comfortable, but I was fully on my own. And I had a wonderful time! I chatted with people in bars, I had a romantic dinner alone while doing some top-notch people-watching, and walked everywhere.

I then fully set off: solo trips to Miami and LA, then a stopover in Iceland for two days by myself when coming back from a trip with a friend, and then six days alone in Copenhagen. I loved it so much that right now, I’m two months into a yearlong solo trip in Europe and Southeast Asia!

I’ve learned that politeness and a few words of the local language will get you everywhere. That people are overwhelmingly kind and generous. And that traveling solo gives my curiosity free rein in a way that’s incredibly freeing, whether it’s exploring operas in Paris or befriending an Icelandic girl in line for a bar bathroom. If I’m brave enough, you’re brave enough too. You just might need a little practice.

Take the risk (Caitlyn, 27 from Brisbane, Australia, of Girl Seeking Purpose)

Before departing on my six-month solo adventure through South America, I was plagued with doubt and fear about all of the possible outcomes of traveling alone. I was concerned about whether it was safe as a solo female to travel in developing countries and if I would be able to reach all of my intended destinations without confirmed travel partners ahead of time. Most of all, I was concerned that I might not meet anyone on the road to travel and share my experiences with. I was absolutely terrified by the idea of being alone.

After reading countless blog posts and forums, I began to realize that all of the fears I had about solo travel were the same fears we all have before we take that leap into anything new and unknown. It then became clear that if I lived my entire life afraid of all of the possible things that could go wrong in any given situation, then I would never leave my comfort zone, let alone my house or my country. That just didn’t sound like the life I wanted for myself.

Realizing this, I made the decision to face all of these fears head on by acknowledging their existence. I decided that I was going to push on to make my dreams a reality with or without them in the back of my mind. Identifying that it was normal to have these concerns and to realize it was possible to overcome them gave me the strength and confidence I needed to get on the plane.

During the final days before my flight, I reassured myself that once I arrived it would all just fall into place and work itself out. And that is exactly what happened. It was one of the most incredible, life-changing, and defining moments of my life, and I am so glad I didn’t let the fears stop me from taking that leap.

Start small and familiar (Shae, 41, from Melbourne, Australia, of The Bright Eyed Explorer)

I’d always traveled with other people, but at age 36, I just couldn’t rely on the comfort and security that traveling with friends brings if I wanted to fulfill my dreams of traveling the world. I am a relatively shy and somewhat introverted person, especially around strangers, so the thought of being in an unfamiliar country and having to talk to people I didn’t know and perhaps not understand made my stomach churn!

For me, starting my solo travels small scale and in a place that I was very familiar with helped ease those fears I had of traveling alone. I’d been to Bali five times prior to my first solo trip, so I was confident and comfortable with my surroundings, the people, and the lifestyle. This comfort then enabled me to push myself a little further — talking to strangers, asking for help when I needed it — but also learn to appreciate the time I had to myself in restaurants and bars.

I have since traveled solo extensively through Europe and Australia (which is home), but there are still times that I still get a little nervous and anxious about my upcoming trip. Generally, if this happens, I give myself a bit of a pep talk and remind myself that I am strong and brave. This will generally give me a little confidence boost, which gets then builds up my excitement levels and then I am so ready to travel.

***

I hope these stories help to show that there is no special gene, life experience, background, or age that makes someone a good solo traveler. It doesn’t even require bravery to travel alone — lots of us built that up along the way instead.

So please don’t let all of the things that could go wrong hold you back from your dreams. Most of what we worry about — not just related to travel but to life in general — never comes to pass anyway. Focus on the adventures, the good times, the sunsets with new friends, and the learning experiences. The biggest step is just to make the decision and stick with it. After that, the rest falls into place.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewher eother than a hotel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

The post Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Nomadic Matt's Travel Site http://bit.ly/2GfU7wj via IFTTT

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Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears

Posted: 2/7/2019 | Febuary 7th, 2019

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! In this month’s article, she shows us how other solo female travelers get over their fears!

Over the years, a lot of women have admitted to me that they made travel plans — only to cancel the trip before they went.

Fear and anxiety got in the way.

There’s a little something about solo traveling that almost nobody talks about.

It’s more common than you think – especially for first time female travelers.

After all, there’s a lot we have to worry about when we go out.

For a lot of us, these worries can be crippling.

When the usual worries about loneliness, safety, and boredom creep in, I remind myself that getting to have this experience abroad will be worth it. I visualize success by picturing myself on the beach, laughing with new friends, and having a fantastic trip. Those good vibes are often enough to make it all come true.

Then I wondered, how do other women kick fear to the curb and live out their solo travel dreams?

So I posed the question to the women in my Facebook group. This is what they said:

“Realize that time with yourself is a luxury” – Alex, 29, Florida

I started traveling solo when I was about 20 years old. I booked my first solo trip because I became tired of waiting around for friends to join me. At the time, I was going to grad school in Barcelona, and I wanted to take the opportunity to travel as much as possible while I lived in Europe. I realized that if I didn’t go by myself, I wouldn’t get to go at all, and I’d miss a huge opportunity to see this part of the world simply out of fear. I weighed all the possible bad things that could happen and decided to face my fear and book my tickets.

I set off on a three-week trip to Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. It ended up being such an incredible trip, and I met so many people that ever since, I’ve become a solo traveler almost exclusively.

I’ve learned how to really enjoy time with myself and not be afraid of being alone. I have the freedom to meet new people and hang with them, but also the freedom to take time to myself when I need it. Through solo travel, I’ve become more confident and more aware of all the great qualities that I have. I’ve learned that I’m not as afraid as I thought and that I can be incredibly resourceful.

The more you research, the better prepared you’ll feel (Yana, 32, Boston, Massachusetts, of Beard and Curly)

I always wanted to travel but found it really hard to get others to commit to go with me. After a friend bailed on me last-minute, I realized that I shouldn’t depend on anyone to go experience the world. At first, it was scary to be on my own. My most debilitating fear was being lonely. Was I always going to be alone? Would it be weird to eat at a restaurant on my own? Also, would I be able to depend on myself for everything, from getting to my hostel safely to navigating a city?

To conquer my fears, I did a lot of research to familiarize myself with the places I was visiting. I also asked other travelers on forums and social media platforms about their experience. Their words encouraged me. Taking the time to research and plan made me feel more comfortable about traveling alone. I have now visited over 120 countries, mostly on my own.

If I can survive at home, why should it be different elsewhere? (Sarah, 52, from the UK, living in Italy)

I started solo traveling only after I was widowed. I realized that it was a case of go alone or stay at home, and never going anywhere was a lot scarier than going by myself!

I built my confidence by starting slowly, adding on days in new places to trips to see family and friends. The first time, it was a stopover in Sydney on my way home from Christchurch. The next time, I did a few days in Auckland before catching up with family in Australia. My next trip will be two weeks completely solo in Thailand next month.

I research my destinations thoroughly so that I know what to expect and what I want to see and do. I book hotels and transport in advance, and sometimes tours too, which are a good way of meeting other people on the road. I use the street-view function on Google Maps to check the location of hotels or hostels and have a virtual “walk” around the area. This allows me to avoid booking anywhere too isolated, at the end of dark alleys, or just in neighborhoods I wouldn’t feel safe in alone. My sense of direction is terrible, so getting an idea of where everything is in advance makes me feel a lot more confident. I also always try to make sure that my flights arrive during daytime and find out how to get from the airport to my accommodation in advance, so that I know exactly where I’m going upon arrival, when I’m likely to be tired.

I realized that people are mostly good (Isabella, 25, from Chicago, Illinois)

I think I got over that initial fear of traveling alone by realizing how exciting that level of independence was — I had some money and some time, and I could do absolutely anything that I wanted with it. Plus, my fears are always assuaged by the fact that everywhere I’ve been, there have been kind people there who are willing to help and teach me.

In Japan, a local offered help when I was lost, and instead of just directing me to my train stop/transfer, he came with me and walked me the whole way. In Myanmar, a group of locals rushed over to help me when I fell off my scooter; they didn’t speak a word of English but their action made me realize that kindness itself is a universal language. This helped me overcome my fears and become braver.

Do one small thing everyday (Michelle, 45, from Alaska, of Pursuing Seven)

I’m currently a couple months into a three-continent mission to complete my goal of visiting all seven continents. At the time of writing this, I am sitting in Christchurch, New Zealand, waiting for weather to clear in Antarctica so my flight can get there, where I will be working for four months. I wasn’t always this fearless and adventurous, but I am definitely proud of who I have become.

Setting realistic expectations — which probably means lowering them — helped me overcome my fear of solo traveling. It sounds counterintuitive at first, but being realistic truly ends up being a gift to myself (and my mental sanity). Not every day is going to be epic, and as a solo traveler you’ll be the making all the decisions and solving all the travel problems you encounter, which takes a lot of energy some days. Especially at the beginning, while you’re finding your solo-travel groove, cut yourself some slack; do one small thing every day that makes you happy, and when you have an epic day, soak it all in!

Utilize tours and apps to gain confidence (Peggy, 45, from San Francisco, California)

My first solo trip was the typical post-college European trip, and my friend had to leave early. It was only one week of solo travel, but I learned and gained self-confidence that I could do this and survive. 🙂 Decades later, I decided to follow my passion of seeing the world. I’ve been traveling for over two years, the majority of it solo.

I typically start a new city with a free or nominally priced walking tour. They provide a great overview of the place and its history and culture, plus local tips. I have met people on these walking tours that range from going to sightseeing together the rest of the day to friends that I still stay in touch with to this day.

I also check the Couchsurfing and Meetup apps for local events. Through these, I have great memories of going to the Notte Bianca festival in Malta, hiking to small towns outside of Frankfurt, and attending a weekly coffee meetup in Brno and social events in Budapest, Istanbul, and Bishkek. When traveling solo, I’m not in a bubble with my friends. I become more aware of my surroundings and find myself more open to local interaction, which has led to countless examples of people being incredibly kind and helpful.

Start from your own city (Kathleen, 33, from Boston, of Lonesome Roads)

Once I realized I wanted to try traveling solo, I decided I needed to practice first. I started in my home city of Boston: going to a museum on my own, then a movie solo. After that, lunch alone at a nice place, and then dinner out by myself (I think eating alone can be the biggest thing to get used to!). Finally, I spent two days all by myself in Portland, where I had lived for a year, so it was familiar enough to be comfortable, but I was fully on my own. And I had a wonderful time! I chatted with people in bars, I had a romantic dinner alone while doing some top-notch people-watching, and walked everywhere.

I then fully set off: solo trips to Miami and LA, then a stopover in Iceland for two days by myself when coming back from a trip with a friend, and then six days alone in Copenhagen. I loved it so much that right now, I’m two months into a yearlong solo trip in Europe and Southeast Asia!

I’ve learned that politeness and a few words of the local language will get you everywhere. That people are overwhelmingly kind and generous. And that traveling solo gives my curiosity free rein in a way that’s incredibly freeing, whether it’s exploring operas in Paris or befriending an Icelandic girl in line for a bar bathroom. If I’m brave enough, you’re brave enough too. You just might need a little practice.

Take the risk (Caitlyn, 27 from Brisbane, Australia, of Girl Seeking Purpose)

Before departing on my six-month solo adventure through South America, I was plagued with doubt and fear about all of the possible outcomes of traveling alone. I was concerned about whether it was safe as a solo female to travel in developing countries and if I would be able to reach all of my intended destinations without confirmed travel partners ahead of time. Most of all, I was concerned that I might not meet anyone on the road to travel and share my experiences with. I was absolutely terrified by the idea of being alone.

After reading countless blog posts and forums, I began to realize that all of the fears I had about solo travel were the same fears we all have before we take that leap into anything new and unknown. It then became clear that if I lived my entire life afraid of all of the possible things that could go wrong in any given situation, then I would never leave my comfort zone, let alone my house or my country. That just didn’t sound like the life I wanted for myself.

Realizing this, I made the decision to face all of these fears head on by acknowledging their existence. I decided that I was going to push on to make my dreams a reality with or without them in the back of my mind. Identifying that it was normal to have these concerns and to realize it was possible to overcome them gave me the strength and confidence I needed to get on the plane.

During the final days before my flight, I reassured myself that once I arrived it would all just fall into place and work itself out. And that is exactly what happened. It was one of the most incredible, life-changing, and defining moments of my life, and I am so glad I didn’t let the fears stop me from taking that leap.

Start small and familiar (Shae, 41, from Melbourne, Australia, of The Bright Eyed Explorer)

I’d always traveled with other people, but at age 36, I just couldn’t rely on the comfort and security that traveling with friends brings if I wanted to fulfill my dreams of traveling the world. I am a relatively shy and somewhat introverted person, especially around strangers, so the thought of being in an unfamiliar country and having to talk to people I didn’t know and perhaps not understand made my stomach churn!

For me, starting my solo travels small scale and in a place that I was very familiar with helped ease those fears I had of traveling alone. I’d been to Bali five times prior to my first solo trip, so I was confident and comfortable with my surroundings, the people, and the lifestyle. This comfort then enabled me to push myself a little further — talking to strangers, asking for help when I needed it — but also learn to appreciate the time I had to myself in restaurants and bars.

I have since traveled solo extensively through Europe and Australia (which is home), but there are still times that I still get a little nervous and anxious about my upcoming trip. Generally, if this happens, I give myself a bit of a pep talk and remind myself that I am strong and brave. This will generally give me a little confidence boost, which gets then builds up my excitement levels and then I am so ready to travel.

***

I hope these stories help to show that there is no special gene, life experience, background, or age that makes someone a good solo traveler. It doesn’t even require bravery to travel alone — lots of us built that up along the way instead.

So please don’t let all of the things that could go wrong hold you back from your dreams. Most of what we worry about — not just related to travel but to life in general — never comes to pass anyway. Focus on the adventures, the good times, the sunsets with new friends, and the learning experiences. The biggest step is just to make the decision and stick with it. After that, the rest falls into place.

Conquering Mountains: The Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). There’s almost nothing she won’t try and almost nowhere she won’t explore. You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewher eother than a hotel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel – and I think will help you too!

The post Solo Female Travel: How to Get Over Your Fears appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/getting-over-travel-fears/