#good day fellow spookers

[obsidiancreates]

Hyello, can I request some good vt fic content with pie showing up to raid area 51?

“Johnny, did you remember the salsa?”

“I��ve got it in my bag, sir.”

“Wait, why are we bringing the salsa? Aren’t we trying to free the aliens?” Colon unzipped Toast’s bag and pulled out the jar. “Whoa, is this homemade?”

“I made it!” Spooker grinned proudly. “It’s really good! The secret ingredient is a dollop of nuclear warm mayonnaise! Dad always said it makes everything better!”

Colon nearly dropped the salsa. “Isn’t your dad a malevolent ghost?” he asked as he carefully put the salsa back into Toast’s bag.

“Malevolent? Wh-what’s that mean?”

“Yes, he’s a jerk,” Ghost said, rolling his eyes. “He wouldn’t stop calling me a hooligan just because of my hoodie!”

“Well, I believe that was also during my sewer climbing escape days, sir.” Toast shivered, from the memories of both the clothing and the fangirl from whom he had to escape.

“I forgot about that. That was a weird phase, Johnny! Anyways,” he put another grenade in his bag, “We better get going if we want to make it before anyone else!”

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Ghost stumbled out of the car, one hand on his head while the other was held out for balance. Colon hopped out after him, perfectly fine. Toast just opened his door and fell out, limp as a pile of noodles.

“Who decided to let Spooker drive?!” Ghost demanded, still trying to regain his balance.

“You did, sir,” Toast said, unmoving from his pile-of-noodles state.

Spooker got out, and Colon slapped him on the back while grinning. “You did really good that time, man!”

“Thanks!” Spooker beamed at the praise. “I’ve been practicing! The other day I only hit three people!”

“How long did you practice for?”

“An hour!”

“That’s great!”

Ghost tried to help Toast up. “Get! Up!”

“I think my bones melted, sir.”

“That’s happened before, Johnny! Okay, look, I have some horseradish right here-”

“Why, sir?”

“In case of bone liquification! Obviously.” Ghost scoffed, and smeared some horseradish on Toast’s face. “Can you get up yet?”

“... I think so, sir.” Toast struggled a bit, but got to his feet.

“Good! Alright, let’s get over there!”

They ran up to the gates, or at least, they tried to.

A large party was in their way.

“What is this? Are we at the right place?” Ghost peered at some of the signs people were holding up. “What does that mean? Clap alien-”

“AHHHHH! REAL ALIEN!” Spooker jumped away from someone who had walked past him. He pulled out a mini jar of salsa and prepared to throw it.

“Spooks, wait! That’s just a guy in a mask!” Colon grabbed Spooker’s arm before he could throw the likely lethal salsa.

“And that’s not what the salsa is for! It’s for containing the aliens if they’re evil!” Ghost took the mini jar and put it in his bag. He looked around. “There’s a lot of alien cosplayers here.”

“No birds though, sir.”

“Yeah, why is that?”

“Maybe because they’re all free already,” Spooker said, secretly pulling yet another mini jar from his pocket.

“Oh, that makes sense,” Ghost said. “Wait, is that-”

“AYYYY, it’s the P.I.E folks!” Officer Maloney staggered over, a gravy boat in hand.

“Oh no, he’s gravy-drunk,” Ghost groaned.

“Hey! It’s nice t’ see ya guys here! I thought you were only after th’ ghosts, though?” He took a long drink of the gravy.

“We deal with more than just ghosts, you know that.”

Maloney ignored, or maybe didn’t hear, Ghost’s response. “This is a real fun party, huh?”

“Not really. We were expecting an actual raid.”

Maloney nodded. “Me too! I came t’ free my fellow aliens!” He took another swig of gravy. “But it turned out to just be this!” He threw his arms out, spilling some of the (turkey?) gravy on the desert ground. “So I went and found some gravy and joined in th’ fun!”

“Okay...” Ghost stepped away from the swaying alien officer. “You-you keep doing what you’re doing. Well just be... over there...” He motioned for the other P.I.E members to follow him to a spot away from the crowd. “We’re actually going to try and break in.”

“Obviously,” Toast said, nodding.

“”I brought RPGs!” Colon chimed in.

“Spooker, can your demon cat get us in without the guards noticing us?” Ghost sill didn’t trust the demonic plushie, but it seemed to like Spooker enough not to mess with any of them too badly.

Spooker took the cat toy out of his jacket pocket. “He says he can!”

“Great. Let’s go free some aliens!”

“Or keep them contained.”

“Goes without saying, Johnny!”