#god. god. i love to live. wish it didn't involve being alive sometimes

[hinderr]

.

[nympippi]

warning for unnecessarily long ask ahead but 100% yes on the "robin trying to find dignity in dying" thing he does not want to accept that his death was that far out of his control. we wants to believe that he had some influence in the matter, like that he could have survived but just made some kind of stupid preventable misstep somewhere

i've also always entertained the idea that maybe later down the line, after the events of the movie, he might try to find some false reassurance in his fate by being like "well, i had to be down there to give finn the nudge he needed. if i hadn't been taken in the first place, he'd be dead, and the grabber would keep killing. it just had to end that way. it had to." <- desperately trying to deny that it could've gone any other way because if so then he suffered for no reason and had no agency or choice and nothing can be done to fix it and he'll never get to grow up and make his dad proud and-

nope. he can't let himself think about that. it's... too much.

my friend tommy and i were once talking abt robin and they said "he wanted to be more than just a tragedy but now that's all he'll ever get the chance to be" and i immediately wanted to strangle them that line has STUCK with me it's so accurate and it makes me so sad

but i can imagine having been given a chance to actually live, that mindset wouldn't stick quite as hard, since now that he's alive and can feel more willing to entertain certain scenarios, he'd think about how finn was able to kill the grabber and he'd think Fuck... Why couldn't that have been me. Why couldn't i have done that instead. If he could do it why shouldn't i have been able to. WHICH leads him into hardcore blaming himself for his own death and finney being kidnapped in the first place

he doesn't want to delve too far into self pity and just... dwell on that, because he's alive! he's fucking alive! he needs to get his shit together and move on, right? he can't waste this second chance. not now that he has it, when he thought he'd never have a shot at it!

but... god. he just can't help it sometimes. just zoning out and imagining alternate scenarios where he gets the upper hand and bludgeons the grabber's head with that fucking phone so hard that his face doesn't even look like a face anymore. he gets wrapped up in the violence of it a lot. wishing a million times worse his own fate on the man who's already received his comeuppance. although, to robin, it really didn't seem harsh enough.

he wishes they could've gotten knives involved. kill the fucker with his own axe, actually. no- chainsaws. How could he have possibly accessed a chainsaw in those circumstances? it doesn't fucking matter because imagining that monster under the whirring blade is cathartic as hell and robin loves it. if you asked him, (and he'd be lying,) that's the only "coping mechanism" he'll ever need.

...i didn't actually mean to go off on that tangent about the grabber dying brutally and sometimes whenever i do that i feel like i got possessed by the spirit of robin for a second but like yeah do ya get me

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, I want to pick apart your brain because your Robin takes and headcannons are so frickin good!!!

Like yes, I get it. Robin would have those moments of fantasies of what if he was the one to never die, what if he was the one to kill the grabber and not Finn. He would get swept up in the violence of it all because that’s his own fucking abuser, a man who canonically sexually assaulted him why wouldn’t he want to turn his face into a puddle of brains and blood. He will never get that chance of revenge both dying and coming back, and I think sometimes those thoughts scare him because of how violent they actually are.

Just this. I’m taking this and shaking it by the neck like a goose my god.

Also how dare your friend say that, expect my therapy bill by the end of next month, how dare, how dare!!

[cursedwanderer]

Creatures in swedish folklore as a whole are sometimes known as "de underjordiska" - the people from underground or "det dolda folket" - the hidden people So why is that a thing? Well. Most o the time they are hidden or invisible to humans and choose when they want to be seen. But there is also a story involving Adam and Eve as well as God himself. The story goes that Adam and Eve had a lot of children running around behaving like children do. One evening God came for a visit and was met with open arms buy Adam and Eve. Their children ran up to God in delight while smelling of soap. Each child had wet but clean hair. God met them all with joy and smiled brightly. Though it didn't take long until he frowned and looked around before facing Eve. "Is this really all the children?" "No, there are no more children to show you." She responded. It was not all true as she had more children hidden away since they were dirty. This lie flew out of her mouth since she was scared that God would think of her as a bad mother for not washing all of her children. Truthfully God arrived before Eve had bathed them all. There was also a sense of shame that he would see her precious children being dirty. Instead she hid them away in the shed.

However, it was impossible to keep anything from God's view as he saw and knew it all. Truly he only wished for her honesty. "That which are hidden from God the almighty will from now on be hidden from humanity." As the words came were spoken each child who had been hidden could no longer be seen by ordinary eyes. Each child found homes in deep mountains, hills or under rocks. With time they had children of their own which became elves, trolls, goblins and other folks who live underground. Humans are relatives to those children who was bathed and met God that fateful day in the beginning of time when Adam and Eve was alive. This is why humans cannot see hidden people unless they want to be seen.

--- This story I made a summary of is written by Line Therkelsen and Sissel Sommer Steneby. The story is a part from a christmas anthology series about nordic folklore, traditions, fairytales and so much more. Some stories are dark and brutal while others are bisarre. Then there are some wholesome stories as well. I love the illustrations and storytelling.

[homelander-rp-blog]

She's taller than him when she's perched up on the counter, John's eyes unintentionally is drawn to her long, beautiful legs before she makes a grasp at his jaw, tilting his head up, his adam apple bobbing when he swallows, doesn't move a muscle, her touch sends a shiver down his spine, making him arch his back subtly Jesus just don't hump her now! and that's when he notices he's hard as a nail in his pants, awkwardly moves his legs to cover it. "well.. my daddy didn't raise a rude maniac.. he did raise a maniac but with manners" flashes a fond smile "if ain't a woman then what are you, kitten? Satan's spawn?" and throwing random sarcasms is what he's excellent at whenever he feels nervous or in danger, his tongue darts out to wet his lips, try not to play it as a salacious act "I'm afraid there's not a story in there, sweetheart. just me being an idiot for my entire life.. but girls like a marred man, no?" shit, he isn't sure if he's flirting right now or just babbling, it's been ages and he feels he's getting dry down there-

Finally, she lets go of him to eat, thank God, John tries to reel his thought to somewhere which doesn't involve her but can't help it, idly thinking if she was wearing a mini skirt, from his place he could take a peak- bites his tongue not to blurt a 'bet you got other interesting things under the belt, too' but stops himself a moment before ruining this peace "ah, such a pity.. wish I could give you my enemy's soul instead but guess I'm the first idiot handing over his own soul to you, eh?" he's only joking, no one likes to live in this world for so long "it does.. I just gonna hope mine won't be thrown to the deep level of hell, but, if hell is full of hot chicks, I wouldn't mind being thrown around" he gives a meaningful wink, raises his beer bottle for her "to my lil' demon's health then!" and goes up only to choke on the drink, coughs it out with a breathless laugh "who?! you?! you wanna.." placing the glass back on the counter, he pushes his empty plate away to prop up his foot on the counter, chair tilting back so he can look right at her face when they talk "you wanna run a ranch? didn't know it was between the options too. didn't peg you as a country girl" but then John notices the obvious change in her feature, how she talks about her family and gripping the counter too hard that her knuckles turn white, the blonde man is quick to shoot out of his chair, both hands wrapping gently around Eris' bony wrists "hey now.. hey" and tries to make her focus on him instead, a cloud of darkness covering over her always so bright eyes, John cups the side of her face, an act of instinct "yeah.. family can be bad sometimes.. God knows my own daddy used to beat me, and I wished for his death sometimes.." he grimaces, blue eyes looking sad "but not all of them are.. I uh.. my mom, she's a lovely woman. I think she'll like you if you two meet." chewing inside his cheek, his mind jumps to different branches to change the mood "look, we ever make it out alive, I'm gonna take you to my family's ranch, good? we got all types of animals in there.. uh.. goats, sheep! I'll even get you a cat, an orange one"

Their peaceful moment won't take long when a knock at the door interrupts them, John frown at the closed door "I don't expect anyone at this hour.." sure, Kevin is gonna visit him today but it's not the time "I swear if it's that kid from the upper floor.." looking around, he picks one of kitchen's knives and cautiously approaches the main entrance, his heart beating so loud in his ears "who's this?"

But no answer.

John opens the door, only a small gap to take a look at the visitor and gets hit in the face when whoever was behind, kicks it down. "it's from the Don, asshole!" two buff man rushing inside, and the first one kicks him right in his face, sending the knife in his hand flying across the floor "my fucking nose!" and there are blood everywhere. John tries to shield his head when they beat him. I should have known it, that pig sent his men for me! which will end up with him in the hospital, bad ending. John just hopes Eris gets her soul at the end, he wasn't someone to make a promise and break it.

"maybe the cat would like me for that very reason. A ginger one would be cute, or even a black cat, spook all the kids in the area." she smirked in amusement over the idea. "virgin demon, you're so funny." but she did laugh, that was a small achievement, she could probably have got him a gold medal for that one. either way those little berries popped into her mouth so easily, she loved the crunch of them fresh from the fridge. grapes were something she'd once dreamed of tasting. "when i say last time i was around it just means that it's been some time... but time works differently down there."

There was a pause, a way that she stared at him, her head slowly tilting, like she was learning every small fact in what he said, judging his soul and not his being but that wicked little smirk was everything and more. that smirk was what some people would sin for, even the holiest of men. "i think you'd look fantastic strapped to a chair, John." she remarked firstly with all the amusement trapped in the curl of her lips. "Oh, so you find me gorgeous?" Eris quipped onto that quickly. "Also, what's to say that I don't enjoy old you? I like the way you... view things, and I like the way you cook." with another swift motion she'd put another grape to her lips and crunched into it's skin, a soft hum of appreciation. "Meow." she played into the joke, but she was the luckiest black cat you could wish for.

"I've seen them, I like them.." she spoke a little softer, and without warning reached across, some of that smoke she moved in followed her and the surprisingly gentle way she reached her hand to run across the skin of his arm but it was her eyes that traced where she knew his scars to be. "They remind me of my own." she admitted. Glamour was a fantastic thing, it meant she could appear however she liked and most demons picked to look like someone they'd known or idolized in their life, Eris chose to be exactly as she was. Exactly as she'd been as a human, but her scars.... they reminded her so brutally of her death. "No need to apologies, I'm not much of a lady." Oh but she was, better than most. She flitted again, that is what she called the motion where she'd disperse, flitting. This time she was perched before him on the counter surface, one leg crossed over the other and bobbing up and down. Eris reached to take his chin, like he'd made him look at her days prior, she did the same to him. "I do like your scars John, they give you character, they tell me stories and I like the stories." Perhaps that was the nicest extension of humanity she could offer him on that.

"Bon patie!" she copied, this humming delight took her, it was the most content the demon looked when she was eating. " I've got a lot of souls under my belt..." she was truthful with that, but her eyes glued to him, trying to decipher his reaction and sometimes it was like Eris was studying his soul for response. "Souls give me power... that is how we rise up. I think humans believe we eat souls? That isn't it, it's sort of like... the more that belong to us, the more power we're granted, that type of thing. Some demons the lower level kind, they don't have the resolve to do what is required. Let's say you're summoned and someone wishes someone dead, you can take their soul in exchange for the chore you'd do for them, that's how it starts on the low levels and some can't do it. They are the weak, incapable. They are the ones I'd send to the pits, the hot coals, does that make... some sort of sense?"

She seemed happy in those moments but she had appreciation for food, especially when he'd cooked and it was still hot. "Why don't I run the ranch? I like animals, more than people. People are.." she pulled a face but it didn't last long before her eyes filled with utter darkness. If it was John's turn to study her, he'd find bitterness and hatred, a lack of mercy to their existence. "If my line continued I wish them plague and hunger, I would beg my highest for their damnation and revel in the glory of watching it. and I, do not beg for anything." there was no pause, no hesitation. She didn't know that she was digging her fingernails so firmly into the way that it was chipping beneath her grip, the tips of her fingers turning white from the pressure. "I hope they live in fear of my name."

[rosesnink]

Interview to Hayley Parker and Ernest Sinclaire (Modern!AU) [D&DAW]

Hello my fellow friends!

Today is the last day of D&DAU and it's sad but don't be blue,babies! Because I have one final plate prepared for y'all!

I had the chance to collaborate with the fellow host @mrsbriarmarlcaster aka Ana, who made an interview to my characters from my D&DAU fanfic The Detective and The Buissnessman,Hayley Parker and Ernest Sinclaire! I know the saga is barely begining because of my slow updates,but to make it less stressing for every 7 years I update a chapter,we brought you an interview with these married lovebirds!

Let this interview commence with out interviewer... Ana!

[Ana enters the room greeting with a grin the guests as the couple awaits her and they greet her as they take a seat]

Ana: What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?

Ernest: Of other couples? More like what habits. I'd say when they treat their partners poorly,like mere dogs. ‘Control your girlfriend’ or ‘don't wear that skirt /suit’ ‘you're looking like a slut like that’ that's not a way to treat your partner. A relationship should be based in support,trust and respect. Telling them how to behave,dress or talk is not good,you're treating your partner like an animal or a trophy to presume and we're talking about people,humans. If you treat your partner like that,are you really in love with that person? Or you just want to own him or her?

Hayley: *mumbles* you're so sexy when you talk like that,jesus. Ahem. It annoys me when they are controlling over the other. I mean,what the fuck? Giving your partner all your passwords? Telling them constantly where are you and with who? Are you dating a person or your dad? It's disgusting. I would never do that with Ernest. He's an adult and deserving of privacy as I am.

Ernest: Of course,my dear. I know that you can most certainly defend yourself from the other people *peck her in the lips*

Ana: If you could ask each other anything and they HAVE to answer truthfully, what would it be?

Hayley: *looks at Ernest thoughtfully* Good question indeed.

Ana: Oh God, now I'm scared *laughs nervously*

Ernest: I'd ask her if she ever regretted do something with me before we started dating

Ana: oof... *looks at Hayley expectantly*

Hayley: *bites her lip* well... I did and then I did not. It's complicated. I felt so alive when I kissed you for the first time, but I also knew I was betraying my vow to never get too attached and always leave. When I realized I loved you, I decided to go for it,to let you break my heart if necessary. As for what I'd ask Ernest is if he misses his old life truly

Ernest: I mean... I had an stable girlfriend,a state to take care and a court where I was kind of wanted, but that life felt to simple and empty... But then I met you and even if things fell apart,I never felt so alive or whole. I love the perfect mess we have,how I can also learn from the bad things. Now I am a brave, new and more confident man who haves the life that I always desired with true goals. Even if it hurts to live this new life, I still want it. I'd leave the simple behind to live this life all over again, because at the end of the day you're by my side.

Ana: You two are literally the cutest! *grins softly*

Ana: Do you remember the first thing you said to one another?

Ernest: Humm,as a sentence,I told her that I was hoping to meet her personally because I heard a lot about her and her lifestyle in Madrid and I was eager to hear about the endeavours of the famous Spanish city.

Hayley: I told him he was pretty hot.

Ana: *laughs* Oh God,why I'm not surprised?

Ernest: *chuckles* that's subjective but I guess you're also quite––

Hayley: Ernest,just say that you also find me hot *rolls eyes with a smirk*

Ana: You two are real dorks

Ernest: Ahem,moving to the next question,please

4. Ernest, how do you feel about the dangers and risks involved in Hayley’s job? Hayley, is there something you dislike about Ernest’s job?

Ernest: I know Hayley is perfectly capable and trained for this and I trust her gut,but I do feel anxious and frightened that she will never come back home one day,that's why every time she haves a day free I make the most of the day with her *squeezes Hayley's hand*

Ana: You're such a brave and devoted husband *sobs*

Hayley: *smiles fondly at him and kisses his cheek* You're so corny. And about the job,I have 0 complains. I mean,he works by helping the ones who cannot help themselves and fights against human trafficking and poverty as he can,alas our jobs sometimes cross paths. He knows when a woman or a teenager is in trouble and I like it because we understand each other's job better

Ana: I stan two powerful people

Ernest: I wouldn't call myself powerful... More like influential. I'm doing what other people would've

Ana: What is the best “relationship advice” someone has ever given you? Would you ever pass that advice on to your friends / children?

Ernest: My mother told me once that when you deal with an illness of your partner,you shall never focus on cure them,but give them love,support and respect their times.

Hayley: A good advice indeed. His support helped me to get through the losses at my job and when my mother died. As for an advice my father told me,it was that before loving someone else,you should at least respect yourself. And that self love have helped me to build this relationship and marriage with Ernest, so yeah,i'd pass it through everyone I can *they both take the other's hands and gaze on each other*

Ana: *mutters* I'm so lonely...

Ana: You’re both each other’s lover but are you also each other’s best friend?

Hayley: Absolutely! We talk about everything! And if we have a secret,we don't pressure on each other. Our trust is 100%

Ernest: I did told you on our wedding that you're my best friend besides Bart. I can tell her that I killed the Queen and she'll help me to hide the body.

Ana: You're so goals and powerful...

Ernest: You're too kind

Hayley: *pushes him lightly* and you are too humble! Let her flatter you as you deserve!

Ana: What are your biggest fears about your relationship?

Ernest: *gazes down the floor and bites his lip* Not being a match for her and she'll find another better than me

Ana: Oh no! Don't say that!

Hayley: Ernest... *hugs him tight* no one will ever match you. You're the man of my dreams. I will never leave you. I rather die first. And as for my fear,I *swallows hard* i'm scared for not being the wife you need. I'm always hunting down criminals and following them everywhere and–– i'm scared that you'll get tired of me *rests her head on the crook of his neck*

Ernest: Hayley,you're the best wife I ever seen. You're perfectly imperfect. I like everything of you. I love you as you are. Even if that means hiding behind the sofa when your chocolate dissapears and you have a knife in hand *he teases*

Ana: someone bring me tissues,I think I'm going to cry...

Hayley: *chuckles and punches him teasingly on the shoulder* idiot

Ana: The words that best summarise the goals of your relationship are...

Ernest: Trust,passion and unconditional support

Hayley: Partnership,complicity and trust

Ana: Do you have any nicknames for each other?

Hayley: Ernest sometimes in bed calls me Hayls *grins mischievously*

Ana: Uuh,I like it

Ernest: *blushes* Well,she calls me mon amour or honey

Ana: Aww,so cute! I knew you were a softie!

Hayley: *chuckles* only my best side for my best man *pecks his cheek with her index and middle finger*

Ana: Think of one other person that you love, could be a friend or another family member, how is your significant other different from them?

Ernest: The other person I love is Bart. He's like a brother and ally to me. He's been there since childhood and gave me the love and support when I felt like drowning. I cannot live without that walking mess. Alas,he's my right-hand on my job.

Hayley: Briar is my sister,my best friend,my fiercest ally and my biggest support after Ernest. She saved me and I saved her. We're bound by love,support and we're on the other's debt. Without her,I'd be dead. Or worse. I cannot live either without her. I couldn't face a life without her.

Ana: It is true that she did saved your ass and Bart helped you through your feelings for Hayley. Aaah,what a gem of people

Ernest: They're indeed. Even if both had threatened me to kill me if I didn't made at least one move

Hayley: Now you're talking about my Briar *grins proudly*

Ana: When did you realise you had romantic feelings for one another?

Ernest: *puts a hand on his chin thoughtfully* hmm,that's a good one. I think it was when I attended a concert of Katy Perry,dancing with her. I had her in my arms and I looked at her and I just knew it.

Hayley: *smiles happily* It was when I kissed him on the cheek for the first time. It was a year after meeting and I was feeling angry and sad because my boyfriend in those times cheated on me and I was still hurt. He told me an experience of his own and told me that he wished that he were half the strong I am in my weakest times. I smiled and next thing I remember,I was kissing his cheek. He asked me ‘for what was that for?’ an I answered ‘for being you’ I started falling for him like you fall for a book. At first it attracts you and then,you look at it and you know your souls cannot be parted.

Ana: You two are the cutest,stop!

Ernest: *blushes and kisses her cheek,embracing her* I love it when your soft side comes out.

Ana: What would you consider a perfect life together?

Hayley: Our life is already perfect! Catching the bad people,being badass,having the best husband and not depending on anyone's judgement and being my own woman with a man who loves me like that and he's his own man. I love it just as it is. With the good and bad things.

Ernest: I agree with you,my dear. I have my own job,a job I like,a wife that I love and she loves me,great friends and enough sources to live happily. What more I could ask for?

Ana: Literally the best life! Moving on...

Ana:Do you get jealous?

Ernest: Jealousy represents a toxic behaviour. It represents insecurity and controlling behaviour and a disrespect towards your partner's life and you violence their privacy. So,no,I trust 100% my Hayley despite my fears because I know her.

Hayley: 100% agree. Yeah,i get it,ny husband is influential and hot,alas he's very sweet and rich, but I trust him and I know he's loyal to me and I would never forbid him to live. We both have the right to have male and female friends, dance with another and have our own life outside our marriage. Afterall, he's my husband,not my owner. I am ny owner, I own myself and no one else.

Ernest: That's my wife *says with pride, kissing her lips softly*

Ana: Who said ‘I love you’ first?

Hayley: *laughs nervously* that was me. It was seconds before our first time together. It was in his house. It was raining and I was so nervous and angry because I got attached. I spitted him the words and then,next thing was that we were kissing urgently and––

Ernest: *blushes nervously and covers gently her mouth* ahem,that's not relevant. I said it the morning after,when I woke up next to her. I felt and I still feeling like the luckiest man alive.

Ana: My god,Hayley,you're such a scandal *laughs*

Hayley: *giggles* or maybe I am the luckiest woman alive.

Ana: Shit now I'm soft. *looks at her paper* oh no! This is the last question! *pouts*

Ernest: There's always another time

Ana: What was your first impression of one another?

Ernest: When I finally met her,I was really curious about her. Some said she was ruthless, sassy and cold,others said she was a whore. When I met her,she was stunning,cunning and wise,but also hurt and with lack of love and care. I thought then that she was out of my league.

Hayley: When I met him I thought he was smart,sexy and resolutive,and an incredible man.

Ernest: truly?

Hayley: yup *winks at him*

Ernest: *blushes* wow... That's a lot coming from you...

Ana: And now we have to say goodbye! It's so sad but I'm glad we had this chance to get to know you two better as person and couple! And you *points at the reader* if you're not reading The Detective and The Buissnessman,did you really lived? Check out on noeschoices's profile now! Here's the link! And for more Desire and Decorum Appreciation Week check out my profile and my lovely partners's profiles: @choicesregencygeek and @hellospunkiebrewster and see you on another post or in my profile @mrsbriarmarlcaster !

Links to the fanfic