#god this is actually beautiful when you think about it

[hanniebaeee]

Under the Northern Lights

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MDNI

Genre: established relationship, fluff, smut

Summary: You and Hyunjin witness the Northern Lights for the first time ever, and the magical moment turns into a rather heated one!

a/n: It's my dream to explore Iceland and to witness the northern lights! Till I get there, let's just do it with Jinnie here 🤭

It was warm, so warm. Hyunjin's arm was wrapped around your waist and his leg thrown over yours as he slept. His soft snores filled the quiet room, his breath fanning the back of your neck.

You two have had a busy day exploring a beautiful snowy village in Iceland. Hyunjin could barely move when you two got back - he'd had about enough of being on his feet for the day, and fell asleep almost immediately.

You’d been just as exhausted as him, but you'd woken up late at night after he managed to kick off the blankets as usual.

Your eyes cracked open, heavy-lidded and annoyed as you reached for the blanket. But then something else caught your attention. Outside the window.

"Ohh -" You sat upright, and Hyunjin jerked in his sleep grumbling something incoherent and burying his face in the pillow.

"Hyunjin! Get up!" You shook his shoulder, disturbing his slumber.

"Babe, I swear if this isn’t an emergency -”

"Just look!"

He groaned, peeling his eyes open (dramatically). The second he caught sight of the faint green glow outside, he shot upright, his mouth falling open.

"Is that...?"

"The northern lights!"

You were already hopping out of bed and fumbling for your coat. But Hyunjin was still blinking sleepily as you threw his jacket at him.

"Babe, it's soooo cold outside," he whined, dragging himself out of bed. "And I was having a really good dream…you were there, and chocolate, actually you in chocolate-"

"Oh my God Jinnie!! We made this trip to see exactly this, and you're stuck on your horny dreams!!"

"Horny dreams!?" He sounded offended, but his expression softened as he glanced at the lights swirling in the sky. "Okay, yeah, alright. Pants, pants... where are my pants?"

He got his pants to his face, of course.

After what felt like an eternity of fumbling, and a few swats to his butt ("Wear the pants, Jinnie!"), the two of you stumbled out into the cold night, boots crunching on the snow as the aurora borealis painted the skies above.

Hyunjin pulled you close as you both stared up, your breaths mingling in the chilly air.

"Wow," he murmured, his voice shaking with the cold.

"It's beautiful," you whispered, your heart swelling with happiness as you tilted your head back to take it all in.

"Okay, you were right to wake me up. But also, you’re totally making up for it later."

"Making up for what? Giving you the most magical moment of your life?"

"No, for interrupting my sleep. And my chocolate dream." He grinned down at you. "And not to be cheesy or anything, but the most magical moment of my life was the day you said yes. So yeah."

"Stop it." You laughed, and he pulled you closer, his nose brushing against yours.

“I love you, baby. I love it that we're doing this together,” He said, and before you could say anything, he kissed you - both your lips cold and a little numb.

And the way he sneaked his tongue into your mouth made your stomach flip. The lights danced above, but all you could feel was him - his warmth and the way he held you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

And then he pulled his phone out, because obviously you needed to record this moment. And a frozen photo shoot later, you both trudged back inside, in a hurry to get away from the chill.

Hyunjin was already peeling off his layers the second the door closed behind you. He chucked his coat with a dramatic groan, running his hands through his short blond buzz cut.

He went on to take a look at the fireplace (an electric one unfortunately), and then got on the bed, holding his hand out.

"Alright, babe," he drawled. "Since you ruined my dream, I think it’s only fair we finish what I started in my head."

He grinned as he pulled you onto his lap.

You rolled your eyes, but you really loved it when he was this horny and lovesick. With a smile you cupped his cheeks in your hands and kissed him. His hands slid beneath your sweater, palms warm against your ribs as he kissed you like he’d been starving for days.

His hands moved up, cupping your breasts over your bra, and his thumbs ran over your hard nipples, perked up.

"Fuck baby," he murmured against your lips, his breath hot as his hands squeezed your breasts. "You cold?"

"More like really hot" you gasped, your hands sliding over the blond fuzz on his head and your nails scraping his scalp.

"Mhm," he managed, his lips trailing down your jaw, his teeth grazing your skin all the way to your collarbone. "You looked so hot all bundled up, and now…”

His nibbled on your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. He pulled back enough to pull your sweater over your head and tossed it aside, before finding the waistband of your leggings, tugging them down as his lips were on yours again.

"Jinnie," you whispered, your voice trembling as his hands worked on getting rid of the rest of your clothes.

You watched him undress as the northern lights danced outside, casting a faint glow through the window. You couldn’t help but think how beautiful he looked as he leaned in and his lips grazed the side of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

Hyunjin’s kisses were hot and demanding, his lips urging you to respond with the same intensity. And you could feel his hardness press against you, and it made your heart race even faster.

He kissed his way down, his lips hovering over chest, eyes locked with yours before his tongue peeked out, placing a tiny lick on your nipple.

That was enough for your core to clench and with a little smirk he closed his lips on the little bud and sucked relentlessly, making you moan. Your hands gripped his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as he gave your other nipple the same attention.

And you glanced down to see them glistening with his spit.

“Hyunjin,” you gasped, your voice shaky as you pulled him closer. “Please.”

He grinned against your skin, the mischievous glint in his eyes never fading.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he muttered before lifting your hips slightly, and without any warning put his mouth directly on your wet folds.

Your body jerked with shock, and it didn't stop him from running his tongue over your dripping heat. You were falling apart under him, your body shaking as he licked and sucked on your puffy clit.

The sensation of his tongue inside you, and his soft hair against your inner thighs has your body quaking with need. And he kept going at it until finally with a quick flick of his tongue, you came undone, gushing into his mouth as he held you close.

He was painfully hard now, and the faint layer of sweat on his chest and forehead looked so damn enticing in the pale light. The look he gave you was raw and desperate, and you wasted no time pulling him close and kissing him.

Tasting yourself on his lips was seriously the most intimate, most satisfying thing ever. He moaned as you kissed his neck and bit down on the spot right below his jaw, making him grind down on you.

"Please baby," He whispered and shifted, positioning himself between your legs and you could feel his length prodding at your entrance.

Your eyes met again and you gave him a soft nod. He entered you slowly, pulling a soft moan from your lips as you both adjusted to the sensation, the feeling of being stretched open settling over you.

His movements were rhythmic, pushing you both to the edge and he kissed you, his hands gripping your hips as he drove deeper into you.

“Hyunjin…” you breathed, gasping for air as he made you feel every inch of him. He moved faster, harder, and you met each thrust with equal need, your body trembling.

“Fuck, I need you,” he groaned, his voice strained as he held you close, his eyes twinkling with love and lust.

You felt your release building, your breath hitching as you tipped over the edge and clenched around him tight. His movements were sloppier as he chased his own release, and he came with a groan, burying his face into your neck as he spilled inside you.

Breathing heavily, hand gently stroked your hair, his lips brushing your forehead as you both recovered.

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice soft.

“I love you too,” you replied, pressing a soft kiss on his chest.

As the morning light seeped through the small window of your room, you knew that you two had overslept. The warmth of Hyunjin's body beside you was comforting, and you watched him with love before pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.

His eyes were still closed, but he smiled. A sweet sleepy one. And he looked so adorable (and a little too hot for his own good).

Your hand, almost of its own accord, slid down to where he was already hard and straining against his shorts. A spark of heat shot through you, as your palm cupped his length, putting on a little pressure.

You couldn’t resist teasing him, and Hyunjin opened his eyes slowly, his smile widening.

“What are you doing baby?” He mumbled and you didn't answer him, just moved down, pulling his shorts off him.

He was wide awake now, propped up on his elbows watching you as you stroked him gently.

“What did I do to deserve this?” He asked, his voice husky.

“You're you,” you whispered, and he groaned as your lips closed around his pink tip.

And yeah…you two didn't make it to the sight seeing tour you'd booked.

Divider by @saradika-graphics

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun

[ubeb0nes]

Things Sevika says as your lover…

❧ ❧ ❧

Let me do it. / I'll handle it. / Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

She wants to take care of you so, so bad. Whether that's opening every door and pulling out every chair for you, or wiping someone off the face of the earth in your name.

She's in her element when she's of service. Deep down, she thinks that as long as she proves useful then your continued affection is almost guaranteed.

Can't do that anymore, my woman/partner said so. / Wrap this up. I gotta get home to them.

She is yours, no ifs or buts about it. And she makes sure everyone knows how fiercely loyal she is, she will not be doing anything to disrespect your boundaries or your relationship.

Obviously her work and her abrasive nature will put a natural strain on some parts of your relationship, but she's never intentionally causing you distress. Loyalty's her most important personal value, and you have the most of hers.

No, get behind me! / I said stay here. / I need you safe, understand?

You're a culmination of everything she's fighting for. All the beauty of Zaun, her reason for sticking her heart in this city, you are all of that personified. So you can't die. You can't get hurt.

If she has to lock you in the house to keep you from following her into a death mission, she will. You'll understand. She's always taken a beating for the ones she loves, the role thrust upon her that she now clings to like a hardy mask.

Stand down. / Down, baby. / I don't care if you don't like it, follow orders.

If you follow her into combat, good luck with getting bossed around like crazy. She always keeps you in her line of sight, preferably also within three feet of you so she can jump in front of you to sacrifice another limb if need be.

She's also absolutely zero nonense while working. She isn't flirting with you or showing vulnerability in front of her crew, but she is relishing in getting to tell you what to do (and she expects you to heed immediately).

'S all for you, doll… / Mm-mm, you're not getting up… / Pretty thing… so warm… love you so much…

She only ever talks like this when she's sleepy, or just waking up. She doesn't say I love you much (outside of when she's leaving for work), as to her, it takes away from the weight of it (WRONG imo, but in character i think lol).

The sweetest sweetheart ever when she's all wrapped up in your arms. Her voice is even lower in the mornings, with a distinct gravel to her tone. She uses it to her advantage, whispering such sweet things in your ear as she "subtly" traps you in her arms to keep you in bed.

She keeps repeating the same things over and over again, praising you and professing her love like there's no tomorrow. Her favorite love language switches to words of affirmation while she's drowsy lol.

So good to me, god you keep me sane. / I'm gonna fuckin' give you everything… / You smell so good, I could eat you (she then does actually try to bite you and you scream and push her off the bed)

Nsfw under the cuttt~

Uh uh, don't run from me. / Stop moving. / You're gonna take it either way, don't whine.

One of your favorite games is to see how long you can hold out being a brat (i.e., closing your legs every time she spreads them, shifting your hips away, etc.) before you make her snap and she just manhandles you.

Her displays of strength are usually subtle, like lifting you steadily off the floor and laying you down slowly on the bed without struggle. But when you do finally get her to snap, she's flipping you over on the bed like a pancake, and holding you up against the wall with just her human arm as she fucks you. She barely breaks a sweat holding you down on the bed, no matter how strong or how determined your bratty ass may be.

I'm never fuckin' sharing you, baby. / Look at me. Don't look away, those are *my* pretty eyes, I wanna see them. / Is that good, doll? Whose making you feel good? Mhm, and don't forget it…

Chances are that you end up being the jealous one in your relationship rather than her. But she is extremely possessive. When she gets especially in a mood, she's intent upon fucking you until your brain melts and you're nothing but putty in her hands, obsessed with her.

She reminds you how good she makes you feel, and how she's the only one that can fuck you that way. You're always extra cuddly and touchy in the days following, and she loves it because she knows it means she's stuck on your mind.

[celuere]

i bet zani knows just the right places in town to sneak off with you undisturbed since her work as part-bodyguard probably requires her to often get her clients to safety in case of dangerous situations. the zani brainrot is starting to take over. the devil works fast. but i work faster.

cw: fem!reader, semi-public, vaginal fingering this is kinda rushed and i’m tired alrnnwnrnsndnyisk

it happened to be a sunny day. actually- a sunny work day.

but the weather barely contributed anything to a relaxed work environment. an action getting called off, another client being ignorant of rinacitas rules- it was draining for poor zani. work is rarely draining for her.

so spotting you amidst the crowd that gathered around one of the various street performances after she- rather unkindly- bid farewell to her client (may he get stroke down during the next thunder storm), you might as well handed her the lottery on a silver platter.

originally you just wanted to take advantage of the great weather and get some errands done for the coming weekend but you always had a hard time walking by the street performance echoes or the various food stalls that you got a total of… one. singular errand done. a bit pitiful, isn’t it?

to be honest, the only reason you even stepped food outside the house today is that you felt the need to do something nice for your wife. with the carnival nearing, her hands are packed with all kinds of responsibilities, managing actions, guarding guests of the montelli family- the woman was barely home anymore. only coming home when you’ve long ago fallen into the land of dreams and leaving again at the first signs of the sun starting to rise. my god you missed her.

you barely winced when you suddenly felt a hand from behind brushing your hair out of your face „enjoying the show, mia caro?“, whisking a kiss right behind your ear, zani took a moment in to bathe in your scent. at least one thing that could lighten her mood.

it wasn’t rare to run into her during her work but you often refrained from directly approaching her when it did happen, „zani… you can say that… i didn’t know you were in the area today…“, your wife wasn’t often a fan of public affection. she thinks it‘s better reserved behind closed doors, but she placed that kiss onto the back of your hand nonetheless. wrapping an arm around your waist to slowly guide you away from the crowd.

„i was. but… complications with a new client rather forced me to cut my task here short… what about you? wanted to enjoy the weather?“, you ignored how she streets got quieter and quieter the more you ventured into the city.

„ah, yes… kind off. i decided to get some groceries done for the weekend while i‘m at it.“, with a soft smile, you lifted up the rather poorly stuffed bag in your hand. your spouse only raised an eyebrow as you came to a stop in an empty corner of the harbor. a beautiful view right on the glimmering ocean.

„groceries? didn’t we get those just this monday? amore, it‘s wednesday…“, she gave your cheek a slight squeeze, „at least take my wallet…“, not hesitating for one second, zani fished her portmonee from her pants and opened it, „how much do you need?“.

„nono-! h-honey, it’s not like that, please put the money away-!“.

she looked at like you were crazy.

„it‘s uh… sigh i actually wanted to buy some things to set up a nice dinner at home this weekend…“, you couldn’t help but feel a faint blush creeping up your cheeks at the forced confession, lying to her was no use anyways. she read you like the morning papers.

„a nice dinner, hm…?“, slowly she stuffed the wallet back into her pants, „tell me more…“, her teeth got a hold of the fingertip of her glove before pulling it straight off her hand. something tightened in your abdomen.

„i-i thought about maybe baking a- h-hold on what are you doing-?!“, your head almost frantically wiped around as your wife pushed a knee between your legs to part them and swiftly sneaked her hand underneath your sundress.

„oh, don’t mind me. keep on explaining.“, wetting her lips as she was already met with your arousal when she slipped her fingers into your slip, zani was barely moved by the possibility of you two getting caught with her fingers knuckles deep inside you. she might have a certain distaste for showing it publicly, but sneaking off to an almost abandoned street was something else. her logic not often made sense to you.

„h-hah…. I… I-I thought about maybe baking something together… l-like a… ngh… p-pizza…?“, her fingers circling your clit in slow, steady motions made it unnecessarily difficult for you to form a coherent sentence.

„baking together, hm…?“, as she deemed you slick enough, she sneaked her fingers inside of your already aching pussy, „amore, non smetti mai di sorprendermi…“

„love, you certainly never fail to surprise me…“

„o-oh-! w-well… hah… w-what can i say…? i miss my w-wife…“, you were probably getting fingers right now against the poor window of an elderly lady but that was long forgotten with the first curl of her fingers.

„the feeling is mutual, bellissima… but really, you don’t have to go all out for me like this…“, zani‘s shit day was already reduced to small afterthought in her brain. the way you clenched around her fingers with how you slammed your hand over your mouth to muffle your moans- you were lucky you aren’t home right now because the scenario of somebody catching her buried with her face between your legs out in the open was… not so appealing now that she thought about it.

„can‘t talk…? a pity…“, her fingertips rubbed against your most sensitive spot like it’s all they’ve ever done, watching you jolt with each curl of her fingers as your slickness coated your inner thighs. it was almost torture that she couldn’t lick you clean afterwards.

„stay quiet for me, darling… mhm… just like that… my, look at those hips riding my hand…“.

she had way too much fun. that smile deserved to be wiped off her face for good.

seeing you melt over her fingers was just the cure she needed for her mood. how you whimpered her name into her hand, gripping tightly into her shirt with the other. her own pants were getting annoying.

„there, there… good girl…“, pulling out her coated fingers, she made no drama about it and licked them clean with her tongue before putting the glove back on and handing your poor panting self a napkin to clean you up.

„mr. alberto urgently requested my presence in a few minutes, i‘ll accompany you back to the square and depart from there.“, you saw how she had to hide her chuckle as you glared up at her.

how convenient for her.

on your way back you didn’t dare mutter a single word, too embarrassed by how easily you folded for her just now, she didn’t tease you about it either.

placing a way too fast kiss on your forehead when you reached the townsquare, zani leaned in to your ear.

„i would like to see you already naked when i‘m coming home later.“

much to your disdain, she also left a heavy sum in your bag which you only noticed when she was out of sight. unbelievable.

[linddzz]

Oohh I LOVE this it's so well laid out (I see the tech brain at work lmaooo) and it has REALLY helped me get a better grasp on my own readings of how the arcane works.

I've had this vague nebulous idea that I felt pretty solid on but did not have the words for re: The Arcane but this really helps. Because the big thing that's stood out to me about the Arcane is that it functions within feedback loops that can build up out of control if left unbalanced, then stabilize if closed.

And the smoke thing and pointing out how Viktor/The Mage keeps the "exhaust" swirled in and fed back in was like the final puzzle piece!! Every moment of magic stabilized enough to use, has required an energy matching it's output fed back into it to close the loop. When it isn't balanced out, it just keeps building on itself in small direct ways (gems exploding) and larger less direct ones depending on the potential within the arcane vector (Viktor spiralling into becoming a world ending god.)

The gem puts out a bonkers amount of destructive power, so to stabilize it they need to increase the energy the machine puts into it to match what it puts out, aka. crank it. A stabilized gem is a perfectly balanced sphere, it could be argued that it automatically bounces the force put on it back into itself smoothly, thus not starting the build up. Ekko makes the Z-drive by creating an inverse of the acceleration rune, creating a contained and stabilized loop.

But the issue comes from expanding that self contained energy cycle beyond itself. There are LAYERS and if you push the arcane out of the little stabilized cycle you have achieved, the result exponentially builds up on itself. Hextech explodes if overloaded, and the explosions can build on themselves. If Ekko pushes his Z-drive out of the established balance he's made, it creates a friggin time smashing dimension bomb. Jayce and Viktor figured out a nicely stabilized little warp spell, and then they plugged a hundred more gems into it and kept slamming the go button to launch ships across the world without accounting for anything beyond keeping it from blowing up. They figured out a controlled burst of kinetic energy (used to either launch/charge projectiles or to create an energy beam) and then started using that in whatever cool shit they could think of.

So this is where I start getting more generalized/conceptual with it;

The snowball avalanche nature of an unbalanced arcane can expand into the rest of the world if left unchecked. Jayce and Viktor keep hitting that button and pissing it off (whether literally if you read the arcane as conscious or figuratively, either works). They keep building into what's happening. And more than that, they have woven themselves into all these layers of causes and effects.

There's the joke that they have so many self perpetuating feedback cycles, so many parallels within their relationships and individual arcs, and I think beyond a neat narrative device it's an actual result of them being what starts to wake the arcane. They're both avatars of the Arcane, both capturing different parts of the analytical and the instinctive nature, the lawful and the chaotic. As you put it, Jayce is the more lawful precise side and Viktor the more chaotic/theoretical side, but also Jayce is impulsive and brash while Viktor is focused and analytical.

Viktor can actually sense this function of the arcane when he's melded with the hexcore. He describes what he feels as a recursive impulse. He succeeds so insanely as a mage because his analytical approach means he recognizes the creation/destruction balance and he fixates on the beauty of that balance. He's fascinated by the anomaly as a contained force of pure chaotic feedback, his evolved forms are all mixes of clean sterility with the aesthetics of organic rot. He so wants Jayce to understand the sublime balance of order and chaos that he sees.

But while he's able to perfectly tap in to his own understanding of this, Viktor functions as a unit with Jayce. They started it together, they need to finish it together in order to balance the living anomaly that is a Viktor power boosted and unbalanced.

For a fun extra gay level; I love thinking that this is a deeper drive for why Viktor is so insanely determined to get Jayce in on his glorious evolution and to be fully united with him. Viktor has an almost instinctive sense for the arcane now, and even if he may not know why, he knows he needs Jayce. But he keeps trying to force it. He's trying not to meld with Jayce as equals, but to absorb him, and that's why the moment Jayce is absorbed is the official tipping point of it being too late to stop what's happening, because now Viktor is just going to keep spiralling until he reaches the point of mage Viktor, who seems to have only stabilized after there's nothing left but himself, a singularity who is always self replicating (by going back and starting his "loop" with Jayce on purpose) and self annihilating (actively working to keep himself from existing), a living anomaly that appears to exist somewhat outside the bounds of universes and time, like the other anomalies do.

Anyway Im gonna have to make a separate post on how I think Jayce and Viktor's big recursive loop and all the little sub-loops in it play out. But the tldr of that is I think this is why the nebulous metaphysics of what Viktor and Jayce actually did to fix everything never bothered me much. Their loop got started by Jayce being saved with magic and being given the runestone, it ends/stabilizes when he gives the runestone back with the full knowledge of what it is to them, and even that only works if they go out clinging to each other with equal strength.

Okay so I recently got low-key obsessed with Jayvik and I’ve been liking your posts about them (top tier analysis btw). Anyway I’m curious about your opinions on a couple of things:

If Jayce’s love language is physical touch, what do you think Viktor’s love language is?

What do you think the Anomaly actually is? My headcanon is that it’s caused by all the paradoxes/timelines that Mad Wizard Viktor keeps making, but idk why it would only be under the Hexgates.

Hmm, when taking into account that the love languages thing is basically horoscopes for real people, but they may have informed how the characters were written, I'd say:

1 ) I completely agree that Jayce's love language is physical touch. That much is obvious.

Viktor's love language is Quality Time - that would explain why he starts getting irritated and hurt with Jayce near the end of S1 and why he's so moved and touched by them solving equations and spending time together pre-time skip. Actually, so much of Viktor's attitude towards Jayce is explained by him seeing Quality Time as a love language it's actually making me a bit dizzy, I need to think about this a lot more because I think this might have cracked something for me...

2 ) Hoooo boy, I actually have an answer for what the Anomaly is in my mind, but it's a lot less character driven and a more metaphysics driven because I was feral about Arcane S1 before I had anyone else to talk to about it online and I've spent a lot of time thinking about Hextech and Shimmer. OK, here goes:

Hextech is an axiomatic (lawful) channeling of forces of nature, namely magic. However, magic to stay pure and reliable requires an anarchic (chaotic) AND the axiomatic (lawful) balancing act for each use of its power if it's to stay "pure" and reliable. Otherwise, you invite chaos in. Namely, the Anomaly.

In addition, every use of magic/the Arcane puts off a certain amount of "car exhaust" for every use, this allows it from a Doylist perspective to be a climate change metaphor but it does go deeper than that and follows its own magical rules. If you look closely, overuse of Hextech always puts off smoke. Early uses don't do so as much, though. In my opinion, each puff of that "smoke" adds to a potential Anomaly.

Now if you're good at magic, and skilled with it, say if you're good mage, as seen with The Mage / Viktor in 1.02, you make a point of scooping up up all the exhaust from any use of rune magic and pouring it back into the spell.

Look at how the mage scoops up all the exhaust coming out of the spell here and weaves it back into the spell!

Hextech doesn't bother to do that! Because Jayce doesn't fundamentally understand that advanced level of magic! He just keeps calling on its energy without dealing with the output of smoke/chaos/Anomaly fumes so it's just hanging in the air.

By the way, all the smoke in Arcane is hand animated so to my eyes, all smoke actually matters. I'm actually a little bummed that S2 didn't go deeper into explaining the smoke that comes off of some uses of the Arcane but not others but I'm assuming they'll delve more into in future shows because The Arcane Is Awake Now, thanks to my brilliant science boy dipshits.

The cleanest, clearest use of Hextech we ever see is the first time the science boys use it to float:

I draw a few conclusions from this:

1 ) The first hit is always free - first time you use magic, magic is happy to help you out! It will do the thing you ask! No consequences!

2 ) Magic gets more and more angry the more times you use it. Actually, by the time we get to Vi using the Atlas Gauntlets repeatedly in S2, there's a little puff of smoke every. time. she uses. them.

3 ) Magic requires some balance. Breaking a window before it let the boys float? Cool, that's balance. But if you just have it doing the same constructive motion over and over, like sending out airships, but you don't let it break some things too? It gets annoyed.

4 ) If it doesn't get applied in a balanced way, magic/the Arcane gets mad. Ekko compared the Arcane's frustration to a sigh. That smoke? Is the sigh. Again, first time you use Hextech, magic which is at least semi-sentient, is MORE than happy to help! The more you keep demanding repeated axiomatic actions, the more it sighs in anger.

Then we get to the crux of your question: what is the Anomaly?

The Anomaly built up at the base of a tower stuffed full with polished, axiomatic, reinforced Hexgems that do one constructive task over and over and over again all day, every day: safely send ships from one place to another.

The Anomaly builds up from the frustration of not allowing magic to be free. Jayce is an axiomatic thinker, he sees magic as a tool, not as a force of nature, so he's been channeling it super precisely and not scooping up all that extra exhaust and channeling it back into the magic and that means it builds up this... pearl of an Anomaly which is all this wild magic with tons of chaotic potential that can do basically anything, including time and dimensional travel but it's gonna be super weird about it.

Soooo... thanks for giving me the chance to yell about Hextech, hope that was sort of what you had in mind!

[welcometololaland]

10 things - 2024/2025 edition

happy new year, everyone! 2024 has been a year of change for me in so many different ways, and i've posted very little fic this year, mostly due to writers' block and time constraints. so, instead of doing the writing round up i thought i'd list 10 things i'm grateful for in 2024 (fandom edition) and 10 things i want to do in 2025 (also, fandom edition). please feel free to make your own if you wish! consider this an open tag 🏷️

2024 - things i'm grateful for (in fandom, in no particular order)

1. my ride or die friends who deal with my self doubt and breakdowns and (being 100% real) paranoia about situations that simply don't exist - @rmd-writes @celeritas2997 , the popcorn squad and others. wouldn't be writing without your support!

2. the writers who have trusted me to beta for them - @heartstringsduet @basilsunrise @rmd-writes i think i'm forgetting some (so sorry if so). michelle, being with you through first aid was such an amazing experience, and i feel so lucky to have seen you develop as a writer!

3. the people who have read my fics and encouraged me including the wip wednesday and seven sentence sunday tags! - i literally would not be anywhere without you. you actually give me life.

4. the friendships i've made on discord with people who just wanna know me for me and share little snippets of their lives - @reyesstrand and @heartstringsduet the little squirrel photos y'all send me are soul soothers for real! @st-elle-ar and @clottedcreamfudge and @lightningboltreader and @birdclowns for the cat pics! @howtosingit for your commentary and spoiler services 💜

5. the grace given to me by @carlos-in-glasses and @actual-sleeping-beauty - you two are so kind and encouraging and tell me all about your knitting projects even when i go missing for weeks on end. thank you for being my friends <3 and i don't even think you guys know you are both my yarn obsessed friends but you ARE.

6. everyone who has trusted me enough to collab with them on projects - the legends on never the same twice, @rmd-writes @strandnreyes. i loved working with you and i hope you had a positive experience! looking forward to more collabs in 2025.

7. the document gremlins, betas and sensitivity readers i've collected this year - @rmd-writes @strandnreyes @lightningboltreader @celeritas2997 @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut ty ty ty ty some of those fics were in danger of being lost forever but we revived them!

8. @she-walked-away for making me laugh with your hilarious posts and olympia2997 who apparently doesn't exist on tumblr but leaves the most unhinged comments of all time on my fics.

9. everyone who has translated my fics or made art or gifs this year! inspired by you and in awe of you! @donghaian @whatsintheboxmh @heartstringsduet @guardian-angle22 i know there are more i'm so sorry if i've not listed you here!!!

10. everyone in the various fandoms i'm in who have created brilliant works in 2024! i am inspired by your work more than you know <3

2025 - things i want to do (in fandom, in no particular order)

1. read more, and read more broadly. expand my horizons a bit. read things that are a touch outside my go-to zones just to test the waters. read stuff by new authors!

2. spend time co-writing because that's actually my favourite thing to do. i have some things in the pipeline with a couple of people which i hope work out!

3. finish. the. damn. fic. (eurotrip). IT'S SO FREAKING CLOSE.

4. spend more time with my 2019-2021 beloveds - alex and henry. write more rwrb fic. engage in the fandom a bit more.

5. finish the ring-in 2.0 within 1 month of the LS finale (weep).

6. take one hand off the wheel with fandom relationships - my therapist tells me i need to stop trying to control how everyone feels about me and instead let people show me the kind of friendship they're interested in maintaining. scary because i think i may lose some people along the way but OH WELL WE BALL.

7. worry less about the engagement! god! i need to stop looking so much! *shakes fist at self*

8. write a little more regularly with less word count expectations.

9. learn how to be okay with smaller comments (from myself). sometimes i feel terrible if i don't write a damn essay but sometimes it stops me from reading which is horrible!

10. be a better fandom contributor than i was in 2024 - i think continuous growth is important and i'm always open to feedback (as long as it's constructive and genuine)! my mission is to always make a positive contribution and to make people feel good about themselves, and if i can even do that for one person in 2025, i think i will achieve this goal.

ty for the 2024 wrapped tags @hippolotamus @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @emsprovisions @nancys-braids @carlos-in-glasses @lemonlyman-dotcom @alrightbuckaroo @strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @whatsintheboxmh @heartstringsduet @firenati0n @cha-melodius. you are real ones! consider this a tag back if you would like to do a 2024/2025 10 things edition.

[newkatzkafe2023]

How about y/n as like Aphrodite or athena?( if you chose athena she's like the goddess of war, pretty much the strategy and if you chose Aphrodite, she's like the goddess of beauty and the most beautiful woman, no matter her appearence?, chubby, skinny or any!, but you chose)

Ok then

(Lmk Wukong)(Monkey Athena Y/n) You guys have been together for centuries, I mean were do you think he got his war plans from. You have met when you fought in a mini war against some heaven Soldiers, and he's been interested in you ever since. You quickly became his lover in arms, as you would fight together on the battlefield. In battle is where you also shared your first kiss as well.

(HIB Wukong)(Aphorodite Monkey Y/n) MY My Myyyyyyy his face and whole body would be red when he meets you. You would flirt, cuddle and snuggle with him as you purred into his muscular chest. Wukong head would be spinning as he's never had pretty monkey woman be so affectionate with him. God forbid if you dare to call him something hot like beefcake or stud muffin, he would be on his back at the end of it all.

(NR Wukong)(Aphorodite Monkey Y/N) God you were so hot when he first met you, you were an tall adorable monkey with a.....very curvy thick body. Wukong purr and drool over you as he flirts with you, while you would giggle at his antics. You to would flirt and scratch his chin making his brain melt out his ears, as you would even smother him with kisses. Wukong's never felt so lucky in his immortal life.

(MKR Wukong)(Monkey Athena Y/n) He trust you with everything he's got, especially during combat. You were highly intelligent and strategic as you had no problem thinking on your feet. Wukong also loved how Violent you sometimes get especially when the Opponent had crossed you horribly, and you would give in to your vengeful side. Wukong had a boner of fear and arousal as it was so sexy covered in blood.

(Netflix Wukong)(Athena Monkey Y/n) Oh my god a match made in heaven especially on the battlefield, Wukong was wrapped around your finger from the start. You were rubbing his chest Praising him so sweetly, giving him all your attention. Wukong would melt in your hands especially with the chin Scratches making him purr and chirp, Wukong had never felt so turned on in his life. Wukong would for once try to control himself but it's not working out.

(BMW Wukong)(Aphorodite/Athena Monkey Y/n) You were a so beautiful and powerful and ever so deadly, you were everything he wants in a woman. Wukong would purr and chirp when you had threatened his life, having a blush on his face. Wukong would do everything he could come up with, just to woe you over wanting badly for you to be your mate. He would do anything for you even KILL along with you.

(Destined one)(Aphorodite/Athena Monkey Y/n) The destined one had your attention for a long time, and it's you who come over to him and woe him. You cooed over him giving him your undivided attention on him, the destined one face was priceless. You couldn't keep your claws to yourself especially with how strong you actually are. The Destined one fell hard for you especially with the combined Head and chin Scratches, His brain activity is non Existent at the moment.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[tarnishedsilverjewelry]

Hey! Hope you’re doing well! I’ve had this idea of reader being in love with Bi Han but she thinks he loves Sektor and is bummed out about it but it is revealed Bi Han actually loves reader? I need angst 😔

A misunderstanding

A/N: Ugh this is such a good prompt *MWUAH* I hope you like this, I’m still new to this writing format to excuse me if the required angst isn’t up to par🤍

Warning: Angst(?), ooc Bi han

You sighed softly, gaze lingering on Bi Han and Sektor they had been sparring but now they lingered on the edge of the training grounds, his near constant praise for her echoing into your ears

You knew that you weren’t someone he even had to look at, just one of the kitchen staff who prepared meals for him. But..he’d sought you out out before

He knew your name, and spoke to you. He, the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, sought you out and had said he valued your opinion! And when he watched you clean the kitchen before walking to your quarters had praised you for you attention to detail. He called the kitchens your domain, the one place he couldn’t beat you

It made your heart flutter, but perhaps you read too much into it. Now seeing the gentle smile he saved seemingly for Sektor, and the hand resting upon her shoulder. You were seeking out a friend who was last seen around the sparring grounds, but now you suddenly felt ill

Your heart wrenched at the sight, you knew the look Sektor was giving him. Like your grandmother would say ‘The eyes cannot lie. They will always tell’ turning on your heel you returned to the kitchen. You’d made apple and apricot glazed tarts for your friend, but now nothing sounded particularly appealing

You left the tarts out for kitchen staff to pick at, and tried to ignore the tears burning in your eyes and the tightness of your throat. A few shuddering deep breaths later and you were able to bury your feelings deeper for now

“[Reader], what are these?” By the Elder gods. Could he not let you miserable with the kitchen staff? Did he have to come and speak to you? “Apple tarts with an apricot glaze. I made them earlier. They are not up to my standards.” But your words did not make him falter, he picked up the last tart and took a bite

Your Grandmaster hummed slightly “I cannot see the faults you see in them, but perhaps that is only a mark of your expertise.” His voice lightened, and your heart sank further in your gut. “Thank you, Grandmaster.” You said tensely

“Excuse me, I’m rather tired today.” And just like that you were gone, leaving him alone in the kitchen. The walk back to your quarters were unbearable. Your thoughts raced and made your head pound, and with every step you took away from him you could feel your heart being ripped apart more and more

You respected Sektor, and she would undeniably be a good pairing for your grandmaster. She was as skilled in battle as he was, she moved with such grace and agility despite her cyberized armour. She did not need to depend on the weapons that came with her suit, as she packed quite the punch.

And you…understood. You were not what the grandmaster wanted in a partner, soft and unable to defend themselves. You came from a family of cooks and bakers, not fighters. You were only able to hide and hope any potential attacks didn’t find you, you could not take a stand like Sektor could. And on top of that, Sektor was exceptionally beautiful and you were painfully average in face and body.

Finally reaching our room, which you thankfully didn’t have to share with anyone (thanks to your head of kitchen staff title) you shut the door behind you and quickly changed into your fathers old clothes to sleep in.

Once you were snugly under the covers, you cried. You cried into your pillow for hours over a silly crush with a man who wouldn’t even look at you as more than his staff. When the moon was high, sleep finally took mercy on you and you slept free of dreams of a certain grandmaster

The next few weeks flew by, and you saw little of your grandmaster when he was alone. Lord Liu Kang was visiting, and often ate his meals with your Grandmaster and his brothers.

Tomas and Kuai Liang, like their brother easily picked up on your sour mood. They looked at you in concern and confusion—they hadn’t seen as more than bubbly and friendly. Lord Liu Kang noticed their confusion too, but thankfully said nothing.

He only passed to you a gentle and knowing smile.

When you could finally scurry out the room, and sit down until they called for more tea you felt like crying. Your face had been puffy from your near constant crying, and your eyes red. Thank goodness for cold compresses and early mornings.

When lunch was finally over, and the meat marinating for dinner already you had some free time. You slid through narrow and dimly populated hallways to the flower garden

The smell of flowers brought you peace, the light breeze. Your outer peace did not seep through to the ache in your heart, but thankfully—

“[Reader].”

Well there goes any alone time you may have enjoyed

“Lord Liu Kang, how may I be of service to you?” The God and protector of Earthrealm smiled “I just thought you may enjoy to know something.” Curiously, you patted the spot beside you “No need, m-[Reader]. I shall leave you alone after this.” Liu Kang thought for a moment before speaking again

“In every other life, you have faced this fear. And in every life this fear was for naught.” You stared at him, his knowing eyes crinkling with fondness. “Truly?” “Truly, K—your friends in past lives were the ones to push you to face it. I thought it best to tell you now before it festers deeper in your soul.” He smiled at you gently, eyes flickering with emotions you couldn’t quite place, and left.

Lord Liu Kang was not your only visitor, in fact Sektor herself found you among the flowers.

Would these people give you no peace????

“You seem at peace here.” She noticed. “Oh yes, when I was girl my aunt tended to the gardens. I was often allowed to go with her. You know I’m quite sure I planted these roses?” You mused, fingers dancing along the edge of the red petals

The red armored warrior chuckled. “Your family has served the Lin Kuei for many reader then?” You nodded. “Yes, my mother was the head baker and my father head cook. I grew up between the gardens and kitchens. My father and mother had two sister each, who worked in the gardens. When I was too young to help in the kitchens I was here.” Sektor nodded, half listening. She was mostly just assessing you

“Forgive my disrespect..but what do you want?” Sektor was so startled by your words she snorted. Quickly she took a seat beside you and leaned in to whisper in your ear “The Grandmaster is…exceptionally fond of you. But he is incapable of expressing them normally. He sent me to find out why you’ve been acting odd with him.” She admitted, watching you flush.

Keeping your voice low you looked at your hands “Really? I never thought he would reciprocate my feelings. Honestly, I thought…that you and him..” Sektor in response nearly doubled over in laughter. “Oh goodness no! Never that!” She continued to laugh unashamedly at the notion for multiple minutes. You laughter too, only a little embarrassed.

When her laughter sobered, she looked at you and said “You know I’ll have to explain this to him, right? And I won’t be the one to stop him from finding you.” She warned you lightly. “He knows where you sleep.” She added jokingly. “Well ask him to wait until after dinner, Lord Liu Kangs champions like to eat. I’ll be very busy.” Sektor nodded sagely, “I for one, am excited for your creations tonight too. I’ll make sure he waits.”

Dinner that night was a loud and boisterous event, and you quietly managed to convince Sektor to give you a few minutes head start before she told the Grandmaster.

The Grandmaster was visibly annoyed by Sektors insistence that her news could wait until dinner and dessert were cleaned up. “We should not spoil our meal!” She would insist.

The grandmaster stared you down anytime you came to take plates or refreshed drinks. You kept your gaze downward, focused on making this meal perfect for the visitors sake.

When you finally could pass duties onto the clean up crew, you slipped through dimly lit hallways past your bedrooms to the flower gardens again. You knew he’d find you, but for a few moments of peace before you had to face him? You’d do anything.

You didn’t bother to hide yourself, instead choosing to sit on the bench under the cherry blossom tree in the middle of the courtyard. It was only ten minutes of silence before you could hear the pounding footsteps of Bi han.

His eyes zeroed in on you, and he surged forward. “You have been avoiding me.” He growled. “Yes grandmaster, I’m sorry. Please sit and let’s talk.” The blue clad ninja sat beside you, body turned towards you. “Why Sektor? She is..a warrior. Fierce and worthy of pride for her word in defending earthrealm. Why would you have all people worry?”

Flushing red, you shrugged. “Exactly that. She is a fierce fighter, and everything I am not. I am astoundingly plain, a cook. I thought you would prefer someone more…worthy.” Bi han stared, in disbelief

“I have watched you since we were young. You are not a fighter, but you are exceptional. Your food is unmatched in all aspects and…plain is not how I would describe you. I have so much I dreamed of saying to you, but now in this moment….it is lost on me.”

Instead of continuing, Bi Hans hands slid up to cup your face. His face was hard and stern, but his eyes danced with emotions. Slowly, he leaned in not daring to tear his eyes away from yours. When you nodded softly, he pressed his lips against yours.

His lips were cold, where yours were warm but the mix was not unwelcomed. Your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands slid down to your hips. He pulled your body against his, leaving no gap between the two of you.

The kiss was slow, there was no rush now. Neither of you were in any rush now, Bi han had you in his arms after years of dreaming about it, and you could feel your heart mending itself with each passing moment.

When you pulled away, your head rested on his chest and he could feel the smile pulling at your face. “Come now, it’s cold out tonight. I’ll escort you back to tour quarters.” Bi Han said, reluctantly pulling away from you.

[lambergeier]

2024 book post

this was simply not much of a reading year! middling start, uneven from month to month, slight revival during mine and emma's scotland trip in august, and then a HARD stop after which i gave up even trying and comics took over in full. the comics will be a separate post lol. recs in bold! except if they're from my vonnegut streak at the start of the year, in which case it would be ridiculous to attempt to recommend or not-recommend individual vonnegut books. it's vonnegut. you know what's up.

JANUARY

Sirens of Titan - Vonnegut (i loved pieces of this book in high school and didn't understand the rest of it and picked it up again to see if maybe a second attempt would assist. really funny bc as it turns out the pieces i didn't understand were like 80% of the book. catie age 15 knew this book was good but didn't know ANYTHING else that was going on. really good and funny and sad--shocking, it's vonnegut. inspired me to start reading the rest of his stuff in publication order)

The Book of all Books - Roberto Calasso (book length of cultural criticism on the subject of the bible, almost wholly the old testament, by a man I had not previously heard of but was apparently a monumental figure in european literary criticism prior to his recent death. as a cultural christian who was raised with truly 0 contact with christian faith at any point, this was a fascinating way to learn about some of the actual events of the old testament--as described by an incredibly impassioned old italian man, and with a whole chapter dedicated, suddenly, to freud. i skipped the freud chapter, but the rest of the book was intensely interesting and, huge credit to both calasso and his translator, beautiful. check that opening paragraph. also made for some engrossing conversations with my beautiful jewish wife who did have some religious education growing up and was extremely helpful in laying out what was more mainstream thought on david and solomon and what was mr. calasso getting On some Shit.)

Player Piano - Vonnegut (vonnegut's first book. good, even great at times, but lightly overwritten by normal standards and incredibly overwritten by what would become his own standards. the leap from this to sirens, his second book, is astonishing. NEVER stop writing, at ANY time you could go from writing perfectly interesting spec fic to producing some of the greatest american fiction of the century. also very interesting to read as a book about automation now, in the time of Newer automation. i think possibly nothing ever changes!)

Mother Night - Vonnegut (i really should have taken more notes at the time lmao. emma says i thought this one fucked. that feels correct. discussion of ww2 and the holocaust and the consequences of both are so eminently more valuable when written by people who lived through them, shocker. and, again, when those people were some of the most observant writers of their generation lmao. the israeli contempt for holocaust survivors that became obvious to me, christian american lady, only within the last year or two, is front in center in the mother night frame story. kinda want to read this again right now. what can individual guilt and responsibility even mean in the fact of all that death?)

Cat's Cradle - Vonnegut (REALLY should have taken more notes!! emma says i didn't vibe with this one. i believe her, but would love to remember why. i read cat's cradle in high school as well, but apparently it didn't click this time. who knows!!! not me, the dummy who doesn't write things down!!!)

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater - Vonnegut (this one washed over me a bit. vivid memories of senator rosewater decrying deodorant as a liberal feminine luxury propagated by those fairies on madison ave, which was sooooooooo fucking interesting to me. bro sometimes the past just LEAPS out at you when you least expect it. this was probably also a masterpiece, i should read it again.)

Slaughterhouse-Five - Vonnegut (exactly as good as it always is. i should also read this again. idk i really should have taken more notes because i think i would have had more things to say, but once again all i really remember is the emotion, which is: man! the children's crusade!)

The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity - David Graeber and David Wengrow (OKAY GREAT NOT TALKING ABOUT VONNEGUT ANYMORE SO I CAN GET REAL. I LOOOOOOOOVED THIS BOOK. I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK FOOOOOOOR REAL. this is graeber and wengrow over and over again taking the wildest most cherry-picked possible interpretation of the archaeological evidence and being like okay so this is what this pre-history civilization could have been like. and you're like okay well hold up guys. and then they prove that the traditional, mainstream conception of these civilizations is EQUALLY wild and cherry-picked, so why the fuck shouldn't we consider their thing! if we're doing cherry picking! and it fully just opened my third eye re: other/non-western/non-modern-western modes of society building and i love it. i was already uninterested in books that conceive of Society and Nature as deeply opposed forces that can never mix without one or the other being destroyed, and this book really put the nail in the coffin. there are so many other ways to live. people did them. people still do them. it's time to incorporate SEASONALITY into our PARADIGMS!!! anyways please read this book.)

FEBRUARY

American Midnight - Adam Hochschild (emma talks about this one as well, she recommended it to me, but just a fantastic history of american democracy under wilson/during and after ww1. spoiler: it was weak, threatened, and overall bad. fuck wilson and fuck teddy roosevelt fr! i listened on audiobook, but still what i would call a very readable style by a very smart guy.)

MARCH

We Both Laughed in Pleasure - Lou Sullivan (a birthday gift from @brella that i really loved but that i think was still a bit too repetitive in the middle for me to recommend to all comers lol. the collected and abridged diaries of lou sullivan, a trans man originally from the midwest and living in san francisco in the 80s and early 90s (he was killed by AIDS in '91), who was a trailblazing community organizer mostly, by his own admission, because he was a guy who was willing to organize zines and meetings and etc for other trans men before anyone else thought to. the repetitiveness is the fault of the diaries' curators imho--they focused primarily on pulling the passages that focused on sullivan's trans and gay identity and his experience with his own sexuality which was, don't get me wrong, hugely fascinating, but also this guy had a lot of sex and wrote a LOT about it, so eventually it was like. well i think i've read about this particular sexual partner of yours for a few pages now, maybe we could get something else going on? still really loved it. the opening passages, from when sullivan was like 13, focus on his intense, intensely fannish love for the beatles. the paul mccartney do-be problem: it never goes out of style!!)

APRIL

The Traitor Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - still dickinson, yeah (traitor i read in college, monster i read when it came out, tyrant i BOUGHT when it came out but never read, and so when we went out of town in april for passover i was like fuck it. i'm finally reading tyrant. ALAS: it's not that good. traitor is good on a functional level if not the most compelling: gets through its story with limited uneven-ness, characters are barebones but interesting, story itself is interesting, etc. monster is my favorite: nuts, deeply compelling, but not necessarily good. the plot's a bit of a mess but every character leaps off the page--not just baru, but ever side character introduced as little more than a name in traitor is suddenly vivid, breathing, sexy, homosexual, and deranged. srivakir you will ALWAYS be famous. tyrant, unfortunately, is deranged but so so too long. plot throughline is muddled, action is jumpy and erratic, characters are still great but just can't overcome the lumpen nature of the story. i'll still read the last book, but i'm not surprised tyrant took dickinson so long, nor that the fourth book has been so long in coming. svirakir and your lover and your non-sexual throuple and your child and your lightning madness fr call me when you are free tho.) (WAIT ALSO EVERYONE WHO ACCUSED TRAITOR OF HOMOPHOBIA FOR BEING KILL-YOUR-GAYS WAS FOR SURE A HATER THO. EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT THAT CRITICISM WAS WRONG HAVE BEEN PROVED VALID AS HELL. TOXIC YURI STAY WINNING!!!)

The Spear Cuts Through Water - Simon Jimenez (refreshing in that it believed very badly that prose should be beautiful, but i do not think the prose was actually beautiful. huge huge points for trying. pacing in the first half actively bored me, second half picked up, and the metanarrative twist at the end got me good. i don't recommend it recommend it, but i do recommend it on the basis that jimenez should for sure get credit for trying)

Solitaire - Kelly Erskine (read this bc my wife mentioned it and it was like, really funny. good, but then not good? intensely interesting, but then went somewhere else entirely that was like super normie and boring? sci fi written by queer women who really fully believe in the uplifting power of corporatism and MBTI specifically. three short stories mashed together than only vaguely have any relationship to each other. still had a good time.)

MAY

The Saint of Bright Doors - Vajra Chandrasekera (loved this loved this loved this. there IS good debut genre fiction out there. we just have to believe!!!)

JUNE - nope

JULY

Out for Good: The Struggle to Build a Gay Rights Movement in America - Adam Nagourney and Dudley Clendinen (political history of the american gay rights movement pre-AIDS. had some fascinating insights into the history of lesbian separatism/animosity towards the mainstream gay rights movement (turns out, in the 60s and 70s, between the male-dominated gay rights movement and the mostly-straight feminist movement, one of those things was offering more personhood to lesbians than the other!), and how the gay rights movement failed to respond to AIDS when the first warning signs started to appear. that was crazy. having moved in gay political circles myself, one can really see why everyone did what they did, and it sucks, because it resulted in a lot of death. recommend if political history is an existing area of interest, it wasn't a standout (like last year's Coming Out Under Fire) otherwise.)

Night Theater - Vikram Paralkar (really good, honestly not as depressing as i thought it would be. but only because emma tricked me thinking it would be even worse!)

AUGUST

Meet Me by the Fountain: An Inside History of the Mall - Alexandra Lange (cultural history of american malls. interesting, but towards couldn't decide whether it was history or cultural criticism or architectural criticism or what. happens all the time. made me think more kindly towards malls as community spaces at least, and the short history of pre-mall shopping and the social forces that led to the creation of urban malls/department stores in 1800s france (including, among other things, paved streets!) was really interesting.)

The Future - Naomi Alderman (wanted to be a cure for tech-poisoned futures, but was itself still too tech-poisoned in its understandings of power/individualism. oh well!)

The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Books 1-3 - Jonathan Stroud (posted about these more extensively at the time--adored them in middle school, read them again for the first time as an adult. still so good. of middling quality all the way up until the end, at which point you are struck dead by god. emma can confirm. got struck dead by god on the train between glasgow and edinburgh. i was there.)

Call for the Dead - John Le Carre

Murder of Quality - John Le Carre

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold - John Le Carre (first three books in what was intended to be a much longer le carre read, and which i should really get back to. call for the dead is a debut, murder of quality is a rightly abandoned attempt to go the classic murder-mystery route, and then spy who came from the cold in is, much like described above, a sudden psychic assault by god. brutal fucking spy fiction, and the only kind of spy fiction worth reading, as in so cynical as to be basically suicidal. spies have never solved a problem they didn't create themselves and perpetuate by means of, at minimum, five innocent lives. NEED to read our game. love and kisses to mr le carre!!)

Martyr! - Kaveh Akbar (love is REAL and so is POETRY and is so fucking your GAY ROOMMATE! very very lovely.)

SEPTEMBER - also nope

OCTOBER

Long Live Evil - Sarah Rees Brennan (svsss retelling meets fe3h character dynamics, fumbles the best elements of both, creates a great premise (brennan grappling very publicly with her own near-death to cancer is the best part of the book and makes for a great framework for an isekai protagonist) but the execution can't keep up with the ideas. alas! not the best book to finish out the year on, but what can you do. at least i read something!)

and that's the end of books for the year!!! 29 total (one not listed here), so a low since 2021, when i only started reading again in like august of that year following a cool post-depressive episode no-reading-spell that lasted several times longer than the actual depressive episode did lol. i have not recently been depressed so i think the dry periods this year were simply dry periods. and, especially the comics started happening, it's not like i've been lacking things to spend brain power on. now those things are just american superhero comics! which is a whoopsie! even a whoopsie-doodle! but i've got a tbr pile as tall as my hip so hopefully i circle back to real books at some point next year. and if i don't, i don't!

[deathnguts]

Coming out of the closet with such a rare ship that you all will think me crazy and delusional but Antonin dolohov is the only man who possesses enough gaudy power and sadism to properly sugar daddy for regulus black think about it

Like, Antonin is SO neat: he’s canonically a bigger sadist than most death eaters, he’s one of if not the only pureblood heir in Russia, he has truly unreachable levels of like gold chain and real furs and mansions with multiple large living spaces all with the most big and beautiful fireplaces because he lives in teh snowy russian country side and hunts the beasts in his backyard when he gets antsy type of wealth. He’s a bitch, he’s insane, he’s horrific, and oh my god he’s PERFECT.

Regulus likes to be used and desired just as much as he likes to be utterly in control and domineering, it’s a hard line to balance and usually he can’t. He has to pick a side and walk that one, longingly staring for the other no matter which one he’s on. BUT, Dolohov is so crazy and weird guaranteed he loves the chase and scuffle of catching and keeping a lover with fire in their blood just as much as he loves being bossed around by something beautiful. He’s paying thousands dollars for like three hours to get stepped on but then flip you over and choke you out, he’s wild and unpredictable and lives only for his own pleasure and never let’s go of getting what he wants and he wants the pretty black heir with the delicate blue eyes that never show him a glimmer of respect but a so bow low he surely knows where he’s dipping.

This creepy motherfucker kept track of regulus’ birthdays after he ‘bloomed to look so delectable’ and sent him lavish presents each year but never spoke to him until the literal moment he turned seventeen because he knows what he’s here for and he wants soemthing with fire not a cushy and ‘sweet’ (by pureblood courting terms) grooming and then immediate stale marriage. And you think regulus wouldn’t love that shit?? Dude, these two are made to feed only the worst parts of each other. Like I brought up the sugar daddy dynamic because even if there’s no actual money involved, that what they have. They are not dating, they are not married, god forbid they both shiver at that thought, they literally just meet up like every other weekend to do ungodly deeds to each other for 24 straight hours and then like have fancy dinners or attend pretentious parties together when Antonin feels he wants to flaunt and regulus feels he wants to be flaunted.

Regulus pulling hidden knives from silk pillowcases mid fuck to actually stab Antonin and Antonin is fucking laughing through his orgasm. Antonin only smokes cigars and regulus plucks them from his teeth whenever he wishes for a turn and Antonin grins. Antonin buys regulus sleek and expensive clothes that leave little to the imagination and then insisting he wear them when they go out so everyone can see what Antonin has like regulus is a new head of a new kill for over one of his many fireplaces. Regulus has stitches from the work Antonin does when he’s excited and he’s never without a purpled bruise again after they meet and he craves it. They both do.

They’re the couple you can’t really call toxic because they’re both using each other and both very ok with that. They’re the couple you want to judge because regulus was 17 and Antonin was 32 when they started talking but also it’s a free country and it’s legal and consensual and also they’re both on a completely even playing field money and power wise so what’s actually the harm? Antonin thinks the taboo of it all is funny and he enjoys making people uncomfortable, regulus thinks it’s annoying that everyone seems to think he’s always the victim all the time. ‘He’s bad reg he just wants your body!’ ‘What do you think I want him for, his bubbly personality?’

God I can’t even please tell me you see the vision they’ve been the ringworm in my skin for months now and I can’t be quiet anymore 😞

[halowishes]

my fav fics of 2024!!

i wanted to share my other recs that i read before i started my lists and ones that just deserve MORE recognition/ changed me/ inspire me to live my life.

fandoms: mostly haikyuu & some demon slayer

(skts if the ship is unspecified)

red dahlia

e. 103k+. ongoing. handmaiden au.

guys. this was probably the fic that made me fall in love with sakuatsu. fairycake always does impeccable world building and splendid writing. this fic has such flair and style— it’s in both povs so you can feel all the nuance. and the PLOT. the DIALOGUE. the IMAGERY. god this is really such a wonderful fic and i’m dying to find out what happens next!!

play among the stars

e. 105k. sci-fi/ rom-com/ drama?

ok so there’s a jail on the moon. kiyoomi is a guard and atsumu is a prisoner! i had so much fun reading this. i’ve never read anything like it. it was intense but well-paced, dramatic yet comedic, serious and silly! kiyoomi had some really beautiful development, and atsumu’s character was a treasure. every chapter was gorgeous but i ESPECIALLY love the last few.

in transit — kageyama x hinata

t. 4.7k. canon universe.

one of the first hq fics i read. so sweet and felt very loyal to the anime. i also just thought the image of kageyama playing basketball was so funny. this fic introduced me to the world of hq fanfic so i’ll always be thankful for it.

in another life — bokuto x akashi

t. 23k. mcd/ hospital au.

honestly? heartbreaking. soul crushing. i’ll randomly remember parts of it and just sit in silence for a bit. this fic is probably why i actually haven’t really sought out any other bokuaka… i just end up thinking about this😭 AND ITS SO WELL WRITTEN. the storyline is so precise and clean, but it packs a punch (that ends in tears). i wondered how the hell it had so many hits but i get it. i really do. and i’m a changed person because of it.

three sheets to the wind

m. 117k. pirate au.

i am actually very obsessed with atsumu teaching kiyoomi how to let loose and feel the sun on your skin and be honest and real. also such a fan of atsumu’s casual poetry because when you’re obsessed with someone, words can just roll off the tongue. very big believer of love inspiring courage and bravery.

insert coin to play

e. 178k. cyberpunk au.

we all know how much i love this but what does it for me is how it understands kiyoomi’s characteristics: he’s blunt, strong, determined, and a bit irrational. i love loud and proud fighter atsumu, but kiyoomi is no less weaker just because he’s quiet. and i will always always always remember that scene in the club where they talked about a world if they were ordinary. anyways i can always talk about this fic.

heirs

e. 237k. corporate & soulmate au.

this was the slow burn of the year. yes the fic was about love and choice and agency, but also duty, piety, and power. it was provoking and thoughtful and dramatic (in a good way). i actually felt the anger, betrayal, and shame of those characters because the plot is just that intense.

again, like this

e. 55k. mid time skip.

this really is my comfort fic. i’ve read it so often i can probably tell you verbatim every plot point. but i can’t help it because they are so tender. so innocent and raw and real. they make each other better and it’s such a pleasure to read. and (you got me) the smut was really really good ok?😭😭

the tide will turn

e. 80.8k. titanic au.

there’s not much i can say because of spoilers but GOD. this fic is so luxurious and unreal. i was obsessed with the characters and finding out what came next. it was a thrilling and emotional read (definitely cried). the fic was so immersive and the last few chapters stuck with me.

afflictions for below-average asian-americans

t. 7.5k. american suburbia au.

genuine, embarrassing, overwhelming, inexplicable. the character development is so special and subtle, yet inspiring. although the premise comes off as niche, i think anyone can relate to feelings of envy and insecurity. this seriously made me appreciate 17 year-old halo more <3.

do i dare disturb the universe?

t. 14.9k. parallel timeline.

*screams*. i need more second chance fics. (vulnerable lore moment) i have a deep rooted aversion to failure and making mistakes so stories like these help me unlearn that. generally, there’s no right or wrong in how to live your life so why aren’t we just doing what we can to be fulfilled and loved? very important fic in the “listen to your heart!!” folder.

it drives you crazy getting old

m. 45.9k. 13 going on 30-ish au.

there is something so comforting about reading a young skts in their 32 year old selves. the fic is about learning how to be patient, to be vulnerable, to love. growing up can be so scary but this fic is a gentle reminder that everything will work itself out and you never have to do it alone. you may not end up where you thought, and that’s okay.

bound

e. 68.1k. actors au.

what i admire about this fic is how generous it is. the characters make mistakes, they say and do things they don’t mean, they can be unhealthy and miscommunicate. but at the end of the day, they’re so patient and loving that the stars align for them because they deserved that happy ending. (and that speech at the end was just too good not to include. it makes me cry every time.)

rain on your wedding day

g. 4.6k. skts wedding.

the joys of celebrating love. the joys of having a community who supports you and will do anything to see you happy. the joys of spending the rest of your life with Your Person. i don’t care if it’s a fanfic, it’s canon TO ME.

how to NOT fall in love with your flatmate’s twin

m. 46.7k. mid-time skip.

while atsumu and kiyoomi’s budding relationship is delightful and the twins’ characters are superb, i will always remember this fic for the side plot of kiyoomi learning to reconnect with his mother. it’s simple yet so powerful. this fic makes me appreciate my parents, siblings, and everything university gave me :’).

burden of blame

e. 91.2k. yakuza au.

if there’s anything to know about me it is that i LOVE a thriller. the plot of this fic is so buzzing with life and mystery. also i’m a SUCKER for bossy ass kiyoomi x nonstop yapper atsumu. it just amplifies the banter and tension by a mile. and selfless, impulsive atsumu will always have a place in my heart <3.

constellations we called home

e. 53.5k. end of the world au.

i read this fic over a month ago but i still can’t be normal about it. it’s extravagant, emotional, and honestly punched a hole through my heart that i might never recover from (like all apocalypse aus). this fic reminds me of the “would you rather have a good thing and or never have it at all” debate. i love love.

sketches of a firefly

e. 88.7k. magic realism/ returning to a small town au.

recently featured in my monthly recs but i don’t care! this fic made me want to be a kid again. it’s literally and figuratively magical. the storytelling amazed me and the tension was soooo vivid. this is a very worthy read but READ THE TAGS.

stockholm syndrome isn’t real

e. 50.2k. heist au.

also mentioned in my dec recs! i just love how this fic read like an action comedy movie. the punchy humor and the well paced scenes made it go by like my dream sakuatsu film. i’m still wrapping my head around how intricate the dynamics and plot of this fic are!

terminal curiosity

e. 9 works, each 10k+. canon universe.

we all read it, we all know it’s good. there’s nothing new i can say about it but i do go back and read it every couple months.

demon slayer

blue — giyuu x sabito

t. 17.2k. canon divergence.

giyuu wakes up in an au where sabito lives. the fic was so gentle and loving and careful. giyuu’s disbelief and the absurdity of it all— you feel all of that with this fic. the story was just so wholesome and made me love giyuu.

uh huh, honey — giyuu x sanemi

e. 151k. pornstar au😭😭

ok i realize the premise is bonkers but the plot is actually pretty deep😭 this fic was prime “opposites attract” in that the characters complement each other perfectly. really beautiful imagery, hilarious dialogue, and such a silly premise but full of admiration and thought.

and that’s my year of fanfic! i almost called this my top 24 fics of 2024 but then i thought “there’s no way i have 24 favs” and here i am… only two short.

but yeah! i’m glad to be back in fandom culture because it really is what got me through tough times. i hope you give these fics a chance or (most likely) if you’ve already read them, let me know what you thought about them!! (if you want more recs check my halo reads tag).

i’m not sure how long these monthly recs will last as i move onto a new part of my life, but i do hope you all find some community in these posts <3

lots of love ALWAYS,

halo <3

[docholligay]

I have a whole video coming about this, about confidence and being a unique dresser, but as I've been trying to do it (editing for myself for the first time!! Applaud me!) I realize it's going to take me awhile, so I promise I will have it for you by the end of the month, but for now, let's talk about boiling the frog of your own personal anxieties in post form.

I am a unique dresser. I dress in a way that draws attention. I have been doing this for a long, long time.

There are a million things I will tell you about dressing this way in public, and they're 96% good, honestly, mostly you have to deal with people telling you how nice you look. But that's for the video, and I'm working really hard on it, so I'm not going to give the milk away for free here. You gotta watch my painstakingly hand-edited artisanal woman-centered garbage!

But what I will say, is how you get used to the idea.

When I get ready to wear something that is out of my comfort zone*, I wear it a few times just for myself. I look in the mirror, not looking for flaws, really, but just observing how I look in it. What about it do I like? What do I like less? Is it bad, or am i just not used to it?

Then I wear it around the house for a whole day. I make sure to catch a look at myself whenever I pass a mirror or a window or something. I need to be able to see myself in the item because it needs to become a part of the way that I think about myself. Because that's what a lot of this kind of anxiety is. It's that, it's not a way that you think about yourself. When you see an outfit or a style and you want to imitate it, and you think, "I wish i could wear that" a lot of what is stopping you, generally, is this idea that you're not the kind of person who wears that. That it would be odd for you to. We have to fight that, and the best way to fight that, is to utterly disprove it. You ARE the sort of person who wears that, and the more you see yourself in it, the more it becomes true.

Vacations are a great time to wear something that feels new to you, especially if it feels scary. You don't know these bitches! No one will ever see you again. (I actually forget that I dress so distinctly sometimes, or rather, that it's not usual, because in my community people don't say much unless I get a new dress or hat or something. But I get so many comments when i travel ahaha) So, if you feel like the look isn't working, that's okay because in some ways, this is not your real life. This won't haunt you or follow you.

So let's say you wore it on vacation, and it was great. Just wear it to one thing. The grocery store. An easy errand. Something like that. You don't have to wear it to work where everyone knows you.

But then you do. Because the more you do it, the more you'll see that there's really nothing to be afraid of. Most of what people will notice and say is complimentary, but even if it isn't. You only get one life. This is it. You can live as the most boring version of yourself, or you can add color and interest and beauty to this world. I will take a thousand sweet lolita and leather daddies over people who don't try at all. I thank God for people who are wear too much makeup and giant painted silk caftans. They are doing the fucking thing!

When I was a little girl, I used to watch old movies, and read old books. All I wanted was to be glamorous and poised, and I used to drape my sheets around myself and imagine going to grand balls. I practiced my fine dining manners in my games, and I studied maps of the world, and I loved to wear blouses and embroidered skirts. In the eyes of my extended family, this was silly. I was putting on airs.

But I am the girl I dreamed of being. I stroll through the airport in high heels and I wear silk blouses and I drink champagne out of crystal glasses and sometimes I wonder, if I had let the fear of being ridiculed override my desire to be exceptional, who would I be? You cannot be an interesting person without doing interesting things, without doing things that other people don't. I can only imagine that ten year old Doc would see me strolling along, and gasp. And that is a good feeling.

Here is your sign. Try. It's always better to try and fail than it is to be stuck in mediocrity for the rest of your life. Tuck in your shirt. Buy the belt. Try going a week without wearing black. Without wearing a t-shirt. Expand your world, and expand the pleasure you bring to others simply by existing. It's worth a try! You are worth making an effort for.

*There ain't much left, to be quite honest, but still, it can happen.

[grey-viridian]

DTIYS for @tizeline

Congrats on 10k!!! (love your artstyle btw sooo soft and beautiful i wanna look at your art all day!)

The original outfit was perfect but I still felt like something was missing...

[lotus-pear]

whatever happens, please don’t break

[fairyofshampgyu]

he’s literally so beautiful and handsome

[licorishh]

"The Bible is so sexist blah blah blah" okay. When it talks about how you can avoid doing stupid things in Proverbs it uses a man in its examples and personifies wisdom as a woman though which I think is pretty funny

[paging-possum]

on some level I understand that welcome to hell is probably a little harder to sell than hazbin given the *gestures vaguely* entire main plotline of w2h THAT SAID im going to be mad about it forever. because one of them is actually funny and has good character design and compelling dynamics and a good plot and its not the one about the freaking hotel.