#god i've always dressed like a weirdo

[tpwk-formula1]

Hiiii

Can I do a thin crust pizza with alfredo sauce, and for toppings: shrimp, ricotta and fontina. And cranberry juice for the drink with dessert pls for kimi antonelli

I love your stuff <3

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thin crust brothers best friend alfredo sweet sex shrimp "I'll be gentle" ricotta "I love your voice but it's always my favorite when you're moaning my name" fontina "wipe that fucking smirk off your face" cranberry juice caught in the act dessert yes served by Kimi Antonelli

Kimi x Bearman! Reader

TW - Caught by Ollie, unprotected sex, cumming on body

WC 650+

Y/N POV

"Kimi, we cannot do this right now," I gasp as Kimi starts trailing small kisses down my neck.

"Why the hell not," Kimi groans against my neck sending goosbumps all over my skin.

"We're fucking sharing a room with your best friend, who is my fucking brother," I gasp when he bites down into my sweet spot leaving a faint hickey behind.

"We can be quick," Kimi groans while grinding into my covered pussy to show me how much he needed it.

"Kimi, not too rough though. Still sore from last night," I admit softly making Kimi look at me with a cocky smirk before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"I'll be gentle, I promise," Kimi tells me softly while pulling off my shorts and panties in one go before leaning down and licking a strip from my soaked hole to my throbbing clit before sitting back up and pulling his briefs down just enough to pull his hard cock out and start teasing my folds with the tip of his cock.

"Fuck Kimi," I moan softly when I feel Kimi entering into my sore pussy stretching me out perfectly.

"God, sound so pretty," Kimi moans when he starts slowly thrusting into my tight core. We knew we didn't have much time so with that in mind Kimi kept his thrusts gentle but sped up his actions making me cry out from the pleasure.

"Oh Kimi," I moan again when I feel Kimi bring his hand down to my clit.

"God, I have always loved your voice but it's always my favorite when you're moaning my name," Kimi grunts speeding his actions up and allowing me to start building towards an orgasm.

"Fuck Kimi," I moan when I can feel myself reach the point of no return and I start cumming all over his cock, with Kimi not too far behind me pulling out and cumming all over my lower tummy with a grunt.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I heard be shout from behind Kimi making me trail my eyes from where Kimi was still cumming on my stomach to find my twin brother standing at the door with his eyes closed and mouth dropped in pure shock.

"Oliver get out!" I shout snapping him out of his shock leaving right back out the door.

"Oh my god, that was terrible," Kimi groans leaning down to bury his face in my neck not caring if he gets his own cum on the shirt he was still wearing.

"How much do you think he saw?" Kimi asked still in hiding.

"Um, probably more than you would've liked," I reply back.

"Fuck, no way he just wanted in on me cumming all over his sister," Kimi groans rolling off of me and out of bed where he pulled his boxers back into place before taking his now dirty shirt off and cleaning the rest of his cum off of me before throwing it near his suitcase.

"It's fine, I've walked in on him going to town on girls a few times," I tell Kimi trying to ease his embarrassment clearly more traumatized than me.

"That truly doesn't help, amore," Kimi tells me softly while pulling me out of bed and helping me get dressed again.

"He's probably waiting at the door. Please hide that fucking shirt," I saw while pointing to the cum soaked shirt sitting on the floor while making my way over to the door. I watch as Kimi grabs it and throws it in the dirty hamper bag he always travels with before I open the door to find my brother pacing the hallway.

"Get in here you fucking weirdo," I snap at him making his head shoot up before sending me a disgusted look.

"Don't give me that! I've caught you fall more times than I should've," I tell him letting him come into the room.

"Never let me see something like that again," Ollie tells us as he goes into the bathroom to shower after the intense FP he had just completed with Haas.

[delusional-dinosaurr]

Not So Sneaky (Lia Walti x Reader)

“Vic please just pass the fucking ball” You whine at your best friend, Victoria Pelova. She chuckles in response and passes it back with a bit of flair. 

“Show off, keep it for the matches, yeah?” You smirk as she elbows you during some 1v1 practice.

“Foul! Ref!” You say rolling around on the floor pretending to be injured, quickly followed by Victoria attacking your ribs, causing you to burst out laughing.

“Alright love birds, we’ve got an important match to prepare for!” Katie helps you up from the ground after your assault from your best friend. Jonas gets you all to rotate partners and eventually you’re paired up with Lia Wälti, who you’ve been quietly crushing on since you signed for the team at the same time as Victoria during the January transfer window, both coming from Ajax. 

“Promise I won’t nutmeg you this time” You joke with Lia as you do your regular training activities. “You better not, I saw what you pulled on Katie earlier” Lia jokes in response, referencing how you nutmegged the co-captain as she was attempting to tackle you earlier on, causing her to be at the end of a lot of jokes so far today.

“Ah, who am I kidding, I can’t resist it, can I?” You wink, going to nutmeg her during your 1v1, with her expertly managing to stop it and successfully nutmegging you in the process. You fake collapsing in shock at how you’d finally been nutmegged by a teammate.

“You…you traitor!” You reach your arm out to Lia as you crawl towards her, as if you are so injured from the ‘embarrassment’ from being nutmegged.

“God you’re so dramatic” She rolls her eyes as she helps you up, instantly you feel the warmth in your body at the contact between the both of you being much closer than you have been before, your chests basically touching. You both stop and are lost looking into each other's eyes for a few moments, until Vic’s cough to your side breaks you out of your trance.

“Was I interrupting something?” Vic raises an eyebrow in your direction suspiciously.

“Nope, I was just helping Y/N up after I finally nutme-” “WOAH! What Lia was saying is that I fell over and she helped me up” You cut in, Lia looks at you even more suspicious than Vic was.

“Okay….weirdo. Y/N are we still going out tonight?” Vic asks you.

“Of course we are, you know I wouldn’t miss out on our Wednesday night date night!” You wiggle your eyebrows suggestively. 

“I’m gonna go get changed, I’ll catch you guys later” Lia rushes off.

“What’s her problem?” Katie walks over and asks, seeing Lia jogging off the pitch.

“No idea, we were just talking about mine and Vics wednesday night date night tonight?” You shrug.

“Y/N you idiot, you’ve been flirting with her and then making you and Vic sound like you’re together?” Katie smacks the back of your head. 

“Wait what? I don’t get it?” You look at her confused.

“Sorry mate, you need to work this out for yourself, not me” Katie jogs off going after Lia.

“It's okay, we're fine, we're fine.” You sigh. 

“Y/N/N maybe it's time you start dropping more hints for her. We can ditch our date night and you can always ask her out instead?” Vic suggests, you tilt your head in confusion. 

“But what about our date nights?” You ask. 

“Y/N get a grip, we can still hang out but you need to make a move” Vic says sternly. You nod and jog to the changing rooms a few minutes later to find Katie walking out giving you a supportive thumbs up. You walk in to see Lia half dressed and just pulling her shirt over her head, you manage to catch a glance at her toned stomach before panicking and turning away. 

“Oh god sorry I didn't mean to walk in on you like this” You panic, visibly flush and flustered. Lia chuckles in response and sits down on the bench, she motions for you to sit in front of her. 

“Okay right, I'm nervous as hell but I just have to get it all out. Lia I, I like you, like a lot. I don't know how it started but I've just been kinda admiring you from afar, no wait that sounded creepy. Okay maybe I did but I just, I'm not good with feelings but… I know I really do have feelings for you” You mumble really quickly, nerves getting the better of you. 

“But… What about Pelova? You seem to be very close” Lia asks with a somewhat sad expression on her face.

“Oh we aren't together, she's not my type anyway” You laugh. 

“Then.. What is your type?” Lia asks suggestively. 

You gulp, feeling a sudden rush of confidence flowing through you. 

“I'd say my type is brown hair… Likes football, plays for Arsenal, is Swiss, wears number 13–” You get stopped by the midfielders lips crashing into yours. It feels as if your body could go completely limp with how breathtaking her kiss feels, finally after all this time pining. After a few minutes you eventually break away. 

“Wow that was…” You say, again with the same flustered face as before. 

“Are you free tonight?” She asks. 

“Yep! Vic made me cancel our date night so I'd finally ask you out” You chuckle earning a glare and a shove in return. 

____

The next morning you wake up with a weight on your chest, Lia’s head resting on it with her hair all over her face. You gently brush her hair out of her face which slowly wakes her up.

“Good morning” You smirk.

“Good morning, I’m sorry if that was a bit much last night” Lia blushes trying to hide her face in her bed covers.

“Lia we literally had a make out session and pizza, it’s not like we had sex on the first date or anything…that’s the third date” You wink, obviously joking.

“God you’re so annoying” She rolls her eyes as she starts getting out of bed, you can’t help but admire her as she stretches, again you find your eyes roaming her body subconsciously until she breaks your focus by moving closer to you.

“You sure you want to wait until the third date?” She says positioning herself on your lap, in her shorts and sports bra.

“Uh…I…Um” You feel your face heating up as the midfielder smirks at you.

“I’m kidding…unless?” She winks, pressing her lips to yours and gently pinning you to the bed. 

____

It's been around six months since you and Lia finally made your relationship official, and yet it was still only you two and your families that knew about the relationship. You both decided to keep it quiet for a while as you didn't want people to know, so that you had time to figure stuff out and make sure you didn't let it have any effect on your games, as well as just having some privacy. 

Luckily all it had done was make you play better and be in a better mood, no one was suspicious until recently, you had a feeling people were noticing the longing looks you gave each other and the way you'd blush more at team events. You knew you needed to tell someone so today was going to be that day. You were driving Vic to training and she spotted something that you clearly didn't hide as well as you thought. 

“Uh… Y/N..? What is that on your neck?” She says poking your very visible hickey on your neck. You instantly blush, having vivid memories of the previous night, hearing the Swiss girl uttering your name all night.

“What are you talking about?” You panic, covering where she is pointing with your hand.

“The hickey Y/N I’m not stupid” She rolls her eyes “No wonder you’ve been less stressed, Y/N/N has been getting laaaaaid” Vic sings.

“Shut up” You groan.

“You gonna tell me who did it, so I can cover this up for you?” She tilts her head at you, motioning with the emergency makeup bag you keep in your car for you and your friends.

“I need you to promise you won't tell anyone” She nods as you pull into the car park, your phone pinging with a message from Lia, which unfortunately is connected to your car.

“One new message from Lia: I got the stuff for dinner tonight! I love you, see you at training x”

“Nevermind you didn’t need to say anything” Vic smirks, giving you a knowing look.

“Uhhhh, me and Lia have just been hanging out?” You say a bit higher pitch than usual.

“You know better than to lie to me Y/N. Why wont you tell anyone?” She sighs at you. You turn the car engine off and sigh, Vic has the makeup brushes at the ready and starts covering your hickey for you.

“Look mate, we were worried it’d change the team dynamic, especially if there’s some weird feelings with her and Caitlin still playing for the same team, and if we get distracted. Basically we’ve had a lot of time privately and it’s been so nice” You ramble.

“Well I don’t think it would or even has changed anything, Caitlin still cares about Lia, but as a friend and I highly doubt there would be any hard feelings y’know? You need to at least tell Jonas or a coach to be safe” She suggests.

“You’re right…” You both get out of your car once she is done applying makeup to your neck, and you head towards the main building, you search around for Jonas and eventually stumble upon him, stuck in conversation with your girlfriend.

“...but what I’m trying to say Jonas is, me and Y/N won’t let it affect how we play or work, if anything I think we’ve improved recently” Lia says.

“Ah Y/N! Great timing, I’m sure you’ve just overheard but Lia told me about your relationship, obviously it’s none of my business but I can tell the difference in how you two have been playing and just in general. Only positive things!” Jonas pats you on the shoulder “I have no issues with it of course, I’m happy for you both for finding each other”.

“Thanks Jonas, means a lot, like really” You give him a hug, the man being somewhat of a mentor to you over the previous year.

“Tell the team when you feel you’re ready. Remember we are a family, we support each other” He says nodding over to the groups of girls in the gym, all getting on with their own thing.

“Yeah maybe we should do it sooner rather than later, no more hiding this” You look at Lia who nods in agreement. You reach out for her hand as you both walk hand in hand into the gym to meet the others, somehow no one saw your intertwined hands. Lia decides to go on a treadmill rather than lift weights with you, so she gives you a kiss on the cheek before walking off. Jen seems to be the only one who spots it and within minutes walks over to you.

“Excuse me, what was that earlier?” Jen looks at you wide eyed.

“What?” You smirk.

“How long has this been going on for then?” She smiles, seeming proud.

“About 6 months, we’ve been pretty private with it and we wanted to make sure we were settled before saying anything” You say.

“Oi did I see Wally kiss you on the cheek? Where’s mine?” Beth comes over and slings her arm over your shoulder.

“Sorry Beth, pretty sure that’s only for her girlfriend” Jen teases.

“Since when?” Beth shouts.

“Why are we yelling over here?” Viv walks over, visibly confused and attempting to hush Beth. Lia takes the opportunity to hop off the treadmill and save you from the commotion. As she gets closer you start smiling over at her.

“Hey beautiful, you looked like you needed rescuing” She smiles reaching for your hand.

“Ah I had it under control, see?” You nod over to the girls you were talking with, who are all now gobsmacked at what they’ve seen and heard.

____

Later on that day you both get ready at Lia’s house, she’s wearing jeans and a crop top with a plaid shirt over the top but not buttoned up. You on the other hand went with a casual hoodie and jeans. 

“Darling, do we really have to go out with the girls tonight?” You groan seeing your girlfriend getting ready. “We could just stay at home…” you continue, trailing your finger from her chest to her abs. 

“Later, if you’re good” she kisses you hungrily and leaves the bedroom with a wink in your direction, as you audibly groan and flop back onto the bed.

“Come on! Our uber has arrived!” Lia yells from the other room.

“You mean Viv?” You chuckle getting your shoes on.

“Of course, who else?” She laughs.

You get into Viv and Beth’s car. You and Beth spend the journey singing in the back of the car whilst Viv and Lia chat at the front. After a short while you eventually park up and all walk to the venue the team had hired for the night. 

You and Lia are still somewhat wary of being affectionate in public, so walk side by side but not hand in hand.

Once you arrive at the club, you get yourself and the others a drink from the bar and return to find everyone crowding around some tables and having their own conversations, you take Beth and Viv their drinks first followed by Lia’s.

“Here you go, gorgeous” You pass her the drink and subtly kiss her cheek, she smiles at you, as you float around, being the social butterfly that you are.

____

A bit later on, after more drinks have been, well drunk, the group are getting rowdier and more daring, literally.

“Katie I dare you to do a backflip off that table” Kyra points over at the table for the Irishwoman to backflip from.

“Nope! Absolutely none of that here” Kim said, patting Kyra on the back with a chorus of boos coming from some of you. Your girlfriend approaches you in the area everyone seems to be dancing in. 

“I miss you” She says pouting. 

“Babe we’re literally at the same party with our friends, I was standing with you like 15 minutes ago” you say quietly. 

“Yeah but I always want to be with you” She frowns.

“Alright if we are still daring people to do shit, I dare Y/N to kiss Vic!” Kyra slurs. 

“I don't think that's a good idea, I've got a cold after all” Vic lies, everyone falling for it. 

“Fuck who else will she kiss then? Gotta get Y/N out there, she’s been single for way too long” Katie jokes as she makes eye contact with Lia “Wally how about you?” She asks with her usual cocky smirk on her face. 

“Sure. It's just a quick peck after all, right?” She smiles. 

“OI! Kissing is too easy, I want a dramatic kiss! Make me believe you're in a relationship or something, I don't know!” Jen pipes up sarcastically, smirking at you after finding out about you both earlier in the day.  You and Lia look at eachother and shrug as if to say ‘fuck it’. 

She leans forward and pulls you in by the hoodie covering your chest. You gulp in response, knowing that you find her even more attractive when she’s being bossy. She passionately kisses you and brings her hands up to the back of your neck whilst you rest yours on her lower back slowly drifting lower.

“Oi you two, save it for the bedroom yeah?” Katie yells to the group, you lift one hand from Lia’s back to raise a middle finger up at Katie hearing a chorus of cheers when you do so. Eventually you break apart, blushing whilst Lia is grinning at your friends who witnessed it. 

“Christ it's like you guys are dating or something” Leah says from the side, giving you a wink and head tilt to follow her. 

“Right, I'm not as dumb as these idiots, how long?” Leah asks you. 

“Around 6 months” You confess seeing a giant grin start to emerge on Leah's face. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it's just..” She interrupts you.

“Y/N I've had an idea that there was something between you for a little while, and I know it's nice to have privacy and stuff, so I understand” She hugs you, you continue chatting to the side about how you should tell Kim as soon as possible, being the team mum after all. You hear singing get louder as karaoke starts, an idea springing to mind. 

“Wait right here I've got a great idea” You say, patting Leah's shoulders and stumbling off. You yell out to Kim, who's watching the karaoke unfold. 

“Kim, I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner but me and Wally are seeing each other” You blurt out when you get to her. 

“I thought so! You guys seem happy, so I'm happy, ah I feel like a proud parent!” She hugs you tightly. “Have you told many people yet?”. 

“No… But I have an idea on how!” You pat Kim’s shoulders as you walk over to the woman running the karaoke for the team and put in your request, but not for you to sing. When it's your song you walk up to take the microphone from Steph who was just belting Untouched by the Veronica's and hand it to Leah, who nods over at your girlfriend standing alone, watching you. You hear the opening notes to Lover by Taylor Swift as you take Lia's hands into yours on the makeshift dance floor.

“This one goes out to the lovers over there” she points at you and Lia before she starts singing. 

“I love you” You mumble into her ear as you slow dance together, she responds with a loving kiss which has you both gasping for air afterwards. As you break away from your kiss you notice most of the room's eyes are focused on the two of you, knowing looks and shocked ones too, alongside cheering, whistling and the odd “Go on Y/N!”. You avert your eyes from the girls surrounding you in a circle and focus on the beauty in your arms, her eyes sparkling as she looks up at you.

After you finish dancing you're bombarded with questions from teammates, some a little inappropriate and some very sweet. 

“How long has this been going on?” Steph asks. 

“Around 6 months, we kept it quiet in an attempt to not mess with the team dynamic” You say. The questions die out and you eventually get to sit back down in a booth with your girlfriend and some of your teammates. 

“Okay Lia I hate to be the one to ask it… But Y/N is so clumsy how on earth are you able to…have y’know… Seriously” Vic slurs, your face flushing red. 

“Luckily her clumsiness doesn't affect her… Performance” Lia winks at you. Some of the girls are trying to get more details, as you decide to dismiss yourself to get yourself another drink. 

“Y’alright?” Katie asks you at the bar. 

“They're talking about my sex life so I'm here now” You chuckle, tapping your card to pay for your beer. 

“Oh what! Let's go then!” Katie drags you back over to the girls. 

“-but yeah she's so attentive and honestly, the best I've had” Lia finishes her sentence as you slide back in, groaning as they're still talking about sex. 

“Y/N we've heard it all, no need to be shy. Your turn now anyway” Jen winks jokingly, with Alessia cracking up as you slam your head down onto the table. As you lift your head back up you catch Lia yawning and give her the look of ‘home soon?’.

You walk off again to chat with some of the girls to avoid discussing your sex life, and feel your phone vibrate. 

From Lia - 

You have been good today… So how about we go home and I show you something I got for you? 

“Someones getting laid tonight” Leah smirks at your red face.

“What? No it’s just warm in here” You chuckle.

“Bullshit, I can see Lia giving you ‘the eyes’ from over there” Nodding in the direction of your lover, who was indeed giving you the eyes, causing you to look back down at your phone which Leah is also looking at. “Mate, are you stupid? Go home!” She pushes you towards where Lia is sitting.

“Lee this isn’t necessary” You groan approaching your girlfriend.

“Wally take your girlfriend home, she’s being all awkward” Leah chuckles “Have a good night ladies” she winks as she slides away from you both. 

“Right I need to take this one home as she’s a bit too drunk, you guys need a lift?” Viv comes over right on time, you both nod and help her lug Beth back to the car. The short drive eventually ends outside Lia’s house, you say your thanks and goodbyes to the couple as you head into Lia’s house. You shrug off your coat and take off your shoes, but you notice your girlfriend has run upstairs to her bedroom. 

“Oh it’s so on Wally” you mumble to yourself as you jog up the stairs, the girl waiting in her room for you.

“Eager are we?” You smirk going over to her.

“Well I did tell you you’d be rewarded so” She smirks, pushing you firmly down onto your bed. You’re usually the one ‘in charge’ but it seems Lia had a different idea tonight as she tells you to stay still. She slowly removes her jacket, putting on quite the show for you. You try to reach out to help her with her clothes but she slaps your hands away. 

“Ah ah, no touching” She tuts. 

“Right, if you don’t do something soon I’m going to eat you alive” You growl, causing a quiet moan to slip from Lia.

“Well if you weren't already saying that, then you'll definitely say it now” Lia smirks, lifting her shirt up over her head and slowly dragging her trousers down and revealing a new lacy black lingerie set that could easily kill you with how stunning she looks.

“Oh my god” You mutter.

“Now… How about we go back to how you were going to eat me alive?” Lia says suggestively, pushing you down on her bed.

“It’d be my pleasure baby” You smirk. 

____

WE ARE SO BACK! Will be a return to posting a bit more frequently!

[heartfullofleeches]

We need more alien and amab darling interactions 😞😞😞 what about a femboy darling?

Alien and fellow extraterrestrial darling who comes from a planet where it's the social norm for males of their species to be feminine. Alien is thrilled when he finds Darling's ship crashed landed in some junk yard- they finally get to meet an(other) Alien and learn all about their culture and maybe get a chance to find out where he came from and.....why are they so fucking pretty? Alien's not religious, but he swears he's seen an angel when darling stumbles out of their spaceship. Poor thing is so lost and confused, clearly banged up from the accident. Their fright is made worse by this fuckin weirdo just staring at them.

"....human?'

Oh, fuck now they're talking to him - and they sounds as cute as they look. Fuck, fuck, fuck-

"Um...sometimes?"

Darling visibly relaxes. "Least I landed on the right planet. I've heard so much about earth from movies. If it's not too much trouble, could you show me around?"

"I would burn myself alive for you."

Alien takes Darling in as their roommate and helps them gain a (limit) knowledge of how things run on earth compared to what Darling has seen/learn from films as there have been some translation errors and wrong information spread throughout. They've always thought those pretty dolls they've seen were boys like them! Aboard Darling's ship is a wide collection of their favorite dresses and other outfits. Alien damn near explodes from how cute they are when they decide to dress up for him.

Darling is constantly flirted with and scouted by creeps on the street who are quickly scared off by Alien barking like a mad dog when someone tries to take its favorite toy. He's ready to beat ass whenever someone calls Darling out of their gender. That's his gorgeous boyfriend and if someone make them cry he'll rain hell on them for the rest of their days.

(I fell in love these two while writing oh God help they're all I can think about. Please tell me if you guys like this because i would love to write more)

[fisheito]

Neuron Activation Ranking - NU:CARNAL

it's list time. . .but i need to narrow down the criteria so it actually ends up a list and not a Blob of Varying Circumstances through which No Clear Tiers can be determined.

So here's a ranking of whose intimacy rooms i unlock first, based on Horny Potential🤔

Typically, i unlock rooms based on several criteria e.g., how much i like the specific outfit, how useful the unit would be in battle, whether i have enough intimacy gifts for them.

But let's pretend that EVERYONE has a unit in my box. All the above criteria are equal. In which order do I unlock them?

1! Eiden IF WE GOT REGULAR EIDEN UNITS HE WOULD BE FIRST BUT HERE I AM , REGULARLY EIDENLESS, . OH MY GOD when that anniversary banner offered galactic mist eiden i have never thrown my gems at a banner SO FAST SELFCEST KING EIDEN I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOUR YAOI MULLET BUT I NEED THAT HOT EIDEN ON EIDEN ACTION I NEED TO SEE THE GOD OF SEX DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST

2! Yakumo Sigh.

3! Morvay he gets priority because he has almost no content AND I AM SO CURIOUS. FASTPASS FOR MORV. that face he makes in Mauve Mayhem R5 ? where he's smushed into the pillow while being railed into oblivion? yeah. i think about that a lot. i would like to see more of that. please and thank you.

4/5! Garu and Rei it's a toss-up based on my mood. garu if i want to see someone submissive, rei if i want to see eiden getting pushed around a bit. How am i supposed to resist a powerbottom strutting around in thighhigh heeled boots? i can.t. No lie tho, I often have more incentive to unlock Garu bc i want to keep up with the MULTITUDE of puppyfans surrounding me 😂

6/7! Olivine and Edmond another shared ranking based on mood. oli if i want the juicy boobs and edmond if i want the juicy thighs LOL these two have dropped slightly in priority from my earlygame because i've unlocked more content with them and thus feel the need to balance by unlocking garu+rei first AHAHAHA but. two things will always draw me in: oli's freakiness and ed's b(oot)eautyness

8! Blade With the bottoms out of the way, I'll mosey on over to BB Blade. That wonderful weirdo often has something interesting going on, and I liiiiiive for The Novelty. What will e-droid bring to show and tell today? Maid dress? Chewing? Candle Darling? Let's see!

9! Dante kinda wanna see him and eiden do their silly sex competitions. maaaybe see him get fokin pwned by eiden in the battle of experience. maaaaaaaaaybe watch him struggle to suppress his stupid embarrassing romantic side . DEEEEEFINITELY laugh at how badly he's fallen for eiden.

10! Kuya i find kuya super pretty, but i end up unlocking him more for lore reasons. i love how he spices up the character interactions with his. . kuya-ness, but i'm not keen on getting edged into oblivion and bearing his bebbehs , yaknowwhatimean.

11! Aster Aster would be around here if his future SSRs follow the flavour of his current LongAster card. i'm too busy admiring him for his Stone Top vibes to summon much horny for him 😆 but i WOULD unlock him for potential morvaster interactions and, of course, the lore.

12! Quincy somehow, he doesn't activate any horny within me. idk. every time he says something's too troublesome, i'm just agreeing with him frfr. i'd rather nod at him respectfully as we go about our separate affairs in the forest than ride him into the sunset. also i am scared of his dick.

FAC (Frequently Anticipated Comments)

You could have just said you were a dom lol Nooooo little old me? i'm sooooo tired. imagine taking control for longer than 3 minutes. too much also, you think i'd be able to dom rei?! HAH i'm getting stepped on by birdcat heels. i'm not about to fight a futile battle.

3 minutes are all you need sometimes( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°) i'm not about to speedrun someone's cummies leave me alone

What about Bottom Quincy? i'm listening...

I completely agree with your ranking and am thrilled to have found a kindred spirit. Thank you, comrade. I am glad we could somehow find each other in this infinite swirling cosmos of time and space. 🤝

[ivysangel]

listen, i think smut is great. i read it, i write it, i think about way more than is probably considered healthy, but i don't think it should be as readily accessible in bookstores as it is right now, and especially without warnings.

i went to barnes & noble with my friend a few weeks ago and in the front of the store was this humongous romance section that had hundreds of those booktok romance books that was trending now. i wish i had a picture to show you guys just how big it was, because there were like six or so book cases and then this big table with some "romantic summer reads".

naturally, because it's what's trending right now, so many of the books had those really cute cartoon couple drawings. you know the one's where the two mc's are standing next to each other, or back to back, or hugging or smth (ykwim) and all of them were completely innocent looking and not marked as having adult content in any way. this isn't my first rodeo or anything, so i know that a really good chunk of these books have graphic sex written in them despite having no warnings or indicators of such content. and sure enough as me and my friend are flipping through them we're seeing all of the graphic depictictions of sex that if you were just reading the blurb on the back you would not know existed in the book.

the rationale i've seen from a lot of the authors and readers of the book are that they want something "inconspicuous" that doesn't draw attention to the fact that they're reading smut in public or whatever. and while i understand the sentiment, there's got to be some kind of regulation for this kind of thing. because some kid who's just looking for a cute romance book accidentally picking up smut is actually very bad and shouldn't be normalized in the slightest.

and i always see people saying, "well their parents should be checking the stuff they read anyway" or "i read smut when i was young so i don't see what the problem is" which pisses me off so bad because:

A) i know that when i was younger my mom didn't monitor what i read because the books i was reading were never misleading. both the covers, blurbs, and warnings (if there ever were any) were in line with the content of the books i read and there was no reason to be worried. i'm almost 100% sure that when most parents go to the bookstore with their kid and their child picks up a book with a cute cover, and the info about the plot on the back says nothing about it being anything other than a cute relationship, they don't think anything of it. maybe if it was one of those harlequin novels with the shirtless guys and the ladies with their boobs spilling out of tight dresses they'd tell them to put the book down but because the covers of new age smut books are designed to decieve, that's exactly what they do. decieve. and if it works on your friends and family and everyone around you, why in god's name wouldn't it work on someone's parent.

and B) it's no secret that kids have been reading smut well before they should for ages. i read smut as a kid, some of my friends read smut as kids, lots of people have and will continue to do so, the difference is that it wasn't as mainstream and easily accessible as it is now. not that you had to scour the internet for it, a quick search on wattpad would give you a million results, but it wasn't something that wasn't so publicly advertised, and sold. in my experience, it was the kind of thing that you heard about from a friend who heard about it from another friend not fucking tiktok. the biggest social media platform rn.

i'd also like to point out that if you read smut when you were younger and grew up to not understand how harmful it is, even going as far to encourage kids to read it, you're a huge fucking weirdo. i'm only 18, still very much a "child" by some people's standards, and i get chills when i remember how young i and some of my friends were when we created our first wattpad accounts. which is probably why i care so much about this topic, i don't think children should be exposed to that kind of stuff at all, and i don't like how now anyone of any age can walk into a bookstore and either knowingly or unknowingly pick up some freak nasty sex because a bunch or horny people on tiktok can't understand how harmful it is to have these books in so many places without any warnings whatsoever.

also: this had already gotten so long but i forgot to mention that there's a rising interest in "dark themes" and those books DEFINITELY need a warning. i wrote an essay once on how unregulated darker themed media has contributed to the idealization of toxic relationships in young people, and i'd like to say that right now i think booktok is one of the biggest contributors

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Okay uh I've only got two and idk how they sound.

One is record of ragnarok with a reader who's like Deku

And the other is record of ragnarok with a reader who looks like a doll.

Hello, my dear one, I already have one that is similar to Deku, being a teen One-for-All reader, if that will work for your Deku request, if not please ask me again and I will do it the next time I open my requests.

-Beautiful frilled dresses with lace and bows, Lolita dresses, soft pastel colors paired with gentle accent colors, hair pulled into ringlet curls, soft but beautiful makeup, matching accessories including shoes and handbags, you were truly like a beautiful doll.

-Many were taken by your odd but pretty fashion choices, believing that you could pull it off as it looked so good on you, and you had many admirers, both male and female, both romantically and platonically, those who just wanted to stare at you and admire the perfection that was you.

-The only thing that others had to complain about you is that your sense of humor was rather dark at times. You sometimes wore black contacts that covered most of your eye, making you look like you have soulless doll eyes, and you would tease those who were afraid of you when you did this, Ares is one of your favorites, by asking them to play with you, only for them to run off screaming.

-Loki found it hysterical when you did this, as he was the one who told you to do it and many were quick to put the blame on him for tainting you.

-While out and about you tried to be as emotionless as possible, to really portray yourself as a living doll, becoming what Jack called as a ‘method actor’, but he is another one, like Loki, who likes to ‘help’ with your doll-like self, holding your hand like a gentleman, escorting you around Valhalla.

-Those who knew you, knew you were a bit of a prankster, but you were also very warm hearted, you were a good friend, always willing to invite someone in who needed a friend to listen to them, providing them with tea and snacks as well.

-You enjoyed the way you dressed, having a whole wardrobe of Lolita style outfits, as you were free to do what you wanted in Valhalla, not like while you were alive when you were treated harshly by your family and peers who thought you were a weirdo for dressing in such a way and teasing you.

-Those you’ve met and befriended in Valhalla, both gods and humans, adored the way you dressed, finding it so unique, it was so delicate and feminine looking, and pairing your mischievous personality with it made it even more enjoyable as you entertained them by teasing others, pretending to be an actually living, possessed doll.

-You were grateful for all of them, even if you didn’t tell them all the time, because they let you be yourself and didn’t treat you like a freak, you cared about all of them like they cared about you, wanting to see you happy.

[nukenai]

So I love chatting with vendors at cons, especially TFCon. They're always Cool Dudes in their 40s/50s who have been collecting Transformers since the dawn of time and they like meeting fellow weirdos, especially younger people. Especially absolute freaks like me who run up dressed like Rodimus while wearing booty shorts.

I was at this one booth and I was looking for a specific figure so I asked if he thought he had it - he said maybe, so I started to look. I shuffled through my purse and vaguely held up my Drift figure, and said "it's for him", like haha joke. (Looking for Jetstorm)

He instantly made a confused face and said, "I don't recognize that Drift". And I said oh, he's the regular American deluxe release, I just repainted him. He asked very politely if he could see him. GOD HERE WE GO

I've had lots of people go "Wow that's really cool! Great job!" about my repaints and custom stuff and I appreciate the comments so much. I don't have much confidence in anything I do, but I am very passionate about when I do custom stuff to toys or Gunpla.

THIS MAN. He was legitimately stunned. He told me my Drift repaint was amazing, and the detail work was incredible. I very shyly thanked him and said I customized my little Fixit, too, and he went NUTS WHEN HE HELD HIM. Then he literally CALLED HIS FRIEND OVER and said "Hey man, come here! You have to see this Fixit she painted!"

The three dudes at the table were legitimately gawking at my, I thought "pretty good, but took a lot of time because I'm obsessed so there's A Lot" repaints. Fixit in particular he was VERY impressed by, because I had filled in the indent in his chest. To be fair that was a nightmare but like omg? And he REALLY loved that I added the blue details to the wheels, and was impressed by my straight lines. I mentioned I totally disassembled Drift, painted the pieces individually, and put him back together, and the guy looked like I'd just shot him LMFAO. HE'S A VERY SIMPLE FIGURE IT'S NOT SUPER DIFFICULT...

So then he asked me the most insane question I've ever been asked in my life:

"Do you have a business card? Do you do this professionally, like as a paid job?"

UHHHHH EXCUSE ME SIR I JUST ADDED DETAILS TO MY ORANGE HUSBANDS AND MADE ONE OF THEM THE CORRECT(TM) ORANGE... HELLO...??????????

So I told him no. He asked if I had a website where I posted them, or social media. I mentioned how I started using my Instagram for that stuff but got lazy and forgot and I just share reels all day. The guy insisted I take HIS business card, in case I was ever looking for parts, or things to customize... He really wanted a place to go see more of my work, and I was very sorry to tell him that I am not actually someone who really knows what I'm doing... but I didn't totally deflect the compliments. I was so unbelievably thankful and told him that no one had EVER reacted this way to my work before. (even saying "my work" is bizarre like it's just a thing I do... it's not My Thing...)

He joked about wanting me to paint some of his minis, LOL, and I said a lot of my friends do that but that's kinda beyond my scope. I started when I was disappointed with a lack of details in some of my figures, like my TMNT 2012 Metalhead, but then I was like. I can add some black on his shell. I can fix him up... and it kinda spiraled. My second significant custom was turning my Stegosaurus Chase figure show-accurate. You can tell it's an early one bc it's ROUGH and I almost wanna get another one to redo and compare...

Buuuut anyways. He was legitimately having customers look at my stuff and one guy wanted to show his wife. I was deeply confused but extremely flattered.

Then a 20 year old kid I had talked to about RiD earlier found a Drift I didn't have (the one that fucking launches his children across the room), and I laughed and said I'd take it. Table guy said "For you it's half price, 5 bucks!"

Then he gave me a Rodimus Robot Heroes for free. And one of those old blind bag figures of Drift for a dollar.

This was one of like 20 amazing interactions I had just in the dealer room. I wound up buying THREE NEW DRIFT FIGURES because I am EXTREMELY NORMAL AND COOL ABOUT HIM

I mentioned this in an earlier post but it got to the point where I rounded a corner and a random fucking guy ran over to me, brandishing a Drift figure, and called out "ARE YOU THE PERSON LOOKING FOR RID DRIFT?" and I was like OH MY GOD?? I HAVE THAT ONE BUT THANK YOU??? WHAT??? and he was like OKAY I HAD TO MAKE SURE! and ran away and I never saw him again. I have no idea who that guy was. He was not working a table he was shopping.

But I am The Rodimus Woman Looking For RiD Drift, For Some Reason now, I guess.

What a fucking con

it's 2am goodnight

[futuremrshoran09]

Catfished

Pt 2 : It was you all along?

I fiddled with my thigh high boots while holding the phone up to my ear, "i don't know what I'm thinking Mel, i just know that whether he shows up or not i have front row seats to see Niall Horan and I'm taking this opportunity whether i end up kidnapped later or not" my best friend sighed on the other end of the phone. "you stress me out, make sure your location is always on okay?" "yeah yeah i mumbled" cursing myself for wearing these stupid boots. I wasn't much for getting dressed up but tonight i actually put some thought into my outfit. A short black mini skirt white tank oversized leather jacket and black thigh high boots. I stood in line waiting to get my ticket scanned nervously looing around for Adams dark hair and green eyes. i texted "where are you I'm almost at the front of the line" nothing. This has got to be a fucking joke i think to myself. Then anxiety took over my mind, what if Adams really a weirdo and he snatches me up after the concert, what if the tickets are fake or stolen and i go to jail, what if he shows us and... my anxious thoughts were cut off by the big guy in the security hat yelling "next" at me. "I guess I'm about to find out if these are real or not" i muttered to myself.  He scanned the ticket and looked at his screen for a second. "to your left all the way down to the first row" no fucking shit the tickets were real, so if the tickets were real did that mean Adam was too?

My phone finally buzzed with a response, "running late love, be there soon, oh and have that kiss ready for me" i couldn't help but smile at his message. But now i was getting nervous, Adam was really coming... would i really have to kiss him? i mean not that i would mind, he was cute and we have been flirting for a few weeks but like what if i didn't like him in person. I walked up to the bar "long island" i asked the bartender "make it a double please" $22 fucking dollars for a drink i muttered, i fucking hate New York. I made my way down to my row, all the way to the front. i couldn't help from fangirling internally, the idol I've had a crush on for like 10 years would be right there, right in front of me in just a few minutes. at this point i didn't even care if Adam showed up in a few minutes Niall fucking Horan would be a few feet away from me singing like the angelic Irishman he is. I texted Adam again " 5 min to show time where are you :(" no response. i take a sip from my drink quickly remembering why i stopped ordering doubles as my chest started to burn. The lights dimmed and the intro to "meltdown" slowly started playing. "NEW YORK CITY HOW ARE WE TONIGHT" a loud Irish voice yelled. i could literally feel my heart start to race as THE Niall Horan walked on stage. "Fuck me i think I'm gonna faint" i said to myself.

I smiled looking up at Niall singing his little heart away, but still no Adam. At moments it felt like Niall was pointing, looking, or smiling right at me i was literally living out my teenage dream. "slow hands" started and i freaked, i didn't expect to hear this song so soon into the concert. I watched as Niall jumped from the stage onto the floor everyone freaked but my phone buzzed. "I'm here love" it read .i looked down at my phone and around, looking to see who was walking towards me. I didn't even notice Niall directly in front of me singing straight at me, a grin across his face. i could feel myself blush, as i stared at him, i was directly in front of the man who i fangirled over for year. Niall's hand reached out grabbing mine interlocking his calloused hands within mine but not for a second did he stop singing or looking at me and not for a second did the smirk leave his face. I watched as he almost laughed at me, he took out his phone and did god knows what i was too busy taking it all in, his eyes, his voice, that smile, i felt like i was 15 again. At that same time my phone began to buzz, "Adam" it rang i answered the call finally breaking my gaze away from from Niall "hello" i said looking looking around. it wasn't until i looked back up at Niall that i understood. in front of me he stood with his phone facing me a big grin on his face "priscilla" the called ID on his phone read. My phone dropped to the floor.. i didn't understand Adam was Niall?? Niall was Adam?? The Niall Horan Niall gave me a little wink before running back around and up onto the stage. I didn't know what to think, i mean should i be mad? i had a gut feeling that the person i was talking to wasn't really Adam but for that person to be fucking Niall Horan was a whole other thing. I mean was it him the whole time? Was this some kind of prank? my thoughts were interrupted by a tall man dressed in black signaling me to follow him, i looked up to see Niall shaking his head yes, telling me to follow the man. i frantically looked around the floor for my phone, fuck me i thought hoping nobody had snatched it up, after a few seconds i found it underneath the seat next to me. i stuffed it into my purse and started exiting the row following the strange man. i stood at the edge of the row and watched as he opened the gate signaling for me to walk through. "what the actual fuck is going on right now" i thought to myself as i walked up the stairs. back stage was full of random people running around doing various tasks some yelling others untangling wires and some looking through a rack of clothes. "OUTFIT CHANGE READY UP PEOPLE" a lady with a short pixie cut yelled. "excuse me" i say signaling her "why am i here?"" I'm sorry what?" she asked "are you not supposed to be here are you a fan?" " Oh no she's supposed to be here" i heard a  deep accented voice say behind me. I turn around and was met with brown hair blue eyes and a smile that could turn a nun into a hooker. "Holy fucking shit" was the only thing that came out of my mouth. 

Niall was immediately bombarded with 2 women holding clothes up to him trying to decide between two outfits for the other half of the show." You're Niall fucking Horan" i said," and you're priscilla" he smirked. "How the fuck do you know my name", at this point i was full on anxious and i began to pace back and forth. I turned back to face him "are you fucking Adam" i almost yelled. i watched as his smile faded a bit, "yes I'm Adam" he said " BUT i promise i have a good explanation for this i swear."  Without even thinking my arm flew across hitting him right on the shoulder," a good explanation for what ?! catfishing me !" " i didn't mean to" he said as he pulled a new white tank on," i swear." i crossed my arms and looked straight into his eyes, i wanted him to know that i could see right through his shit. "back on in 30 seconds" someone yelled in the back. Niall grabbed his guitar and looked back at me, "listen i know this might all seem fucked but stay, just stay okay? just let me explain everything. please". between the way his blue eyes twinkled at me and the sincerity in his voice i couldn't help but fold. "UGHHH fine!" i yelled.  a smiled crept up on his face and as he turned around and started walking away. i yelled after him "you're explaining this over a bottle of tequila" he turned to face me walking backwards to the stage with that big ol goofy grin he's always had and hit me with a "and you still owe me a kiss" 

[tsuki-sennin]

Episode 40 of HiroPre! A play wedding, how precious~! Now don't worry, despite initial worries about Toei making it weird, this is all above board and wholesome. Very wild of them to make this the episode there's a delay for though, but I guess life's just funny like that.

Spoilers, I guess...

-I see Sora likes BBC's Walking with Dinosaurs.

-Sagely studies~!

-Oh ye gods, weddings.

-Ohhhh, worldbuilding!

-An all night party following an announcement of engagement. Don't even need to dress up.

-Quite a fun time, actually, I wish weddings in our world were that easy. And it might just be you two up there next, Mashiron~!

-...I have to wonder how polygamy works up there.

-Y'know, now I've got much more PreCure knowledge accrued, I've noticed that the casts have gotten smaller over the years.

-It's not necessarily a bad thing, mind you! It certainly makes sense, as the teams get bigger you'll have less time to devote to big supporting casts, but this has a side effect of us feeling isolated to our heroes.

-We still have plenty of weirdos to go around in Hirogaru Sky, but having more of them stick around more often would be fun. How's Berryberie doing?

-Just sayin', we would've really benefited from a Masukomi, Kaoru, or even a Yuriko.

-Ah, the cake. All the motivation you need.

-Kinda like Booster in Mario RPG.

-Royal wedding, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

-I'm sorry Elle, I don't care how much cake we eat or how shiny your cardboard crown is, nothing can make me give a crap about a royal wedding. In my junior year of high school, people were really going wild for Harry and Meghan, and I had no idea who these people were so I just kinda had to sit there in the corner.

-I see Ageha disagrees.

-Tsubasa-kun, your bowtie is somehow a brighter red than your jacket's orange.

Ageha: You're doing great, boy~! Just think of the doves flying out~! Tsubasa: No talking during the ceremony!

-Best of friends!

-Ageeeeee~!

-That was nice, wasn't it?

-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there's the rub~!

-I have to hand it to Murase, Tsubasa sounds genuinely terrified here.

-I don't think Yoyo can officiate anything, so

-You should marry Mashiro twice over, Sora.

-I suppose it's not too surprising Elle could develop a crush on Tsubasa, considering he's like... the only boy she knows. Still though, I get why some people were put off by this.

-Frankly, I'm really surprised Toei haven't been doing a Dipper and Wendy ship tease thing with Tsubasa and Ageha. Thank god they haven't, by the way, that was always the worst part of Gravity Falls.

-I guess Toei knew that would be a little much, especially with the (quite understandable mind you) backlash Nozomi and Coco's relationship gets nowadays.

-Nightmare time.

-King Bitchin' Mustache can add Shotgun Papa to his list of titles.

-Even his own parents!

-He has been left comatose.

-That looks like quite a heavy book, I'm impressed she can carry it.

-"Nooooooooooooo?"

-It's always the simplest sentences coming from a kid that kill you, huh?

-Ladies and gentlemen, the bird boy is dead!

-Ageha appears.

-In the pursuit of great knowledge, one has neglected their friendship. A tale as tragic and old as time.

-That uh

-Might've been a good thing to let him in on earlier, Ageha.

-Skearhead appears.

-A wedding beast.

-Majesty leads our charge today.

-Skearhead's not even talking today!

-Oh, nevermind.

-Aaaaand she's caught!

-That Wing, ever gallant a knight and pal.

-Oh cool, team attack. Paralleling the cake cutting.

-Knighthood is much more fun than marriage.

-Friends and family forever!

-I'm... perplexed! I was expecting 24 minutes of mid cringe comedy, and got a fun and sweet exploration of these two characters' friendship instead on top of well executed cringe comedy. What a ripoff.

-I guess if I had to bitch about anything, I think having them talk as Wing and Majesty more would've been a fun way to tie the battle into their conflict.

-Speaking of which, the battle was pretty dang weak, they... absolutely could've done more with that. And why pick a church bell, Skearhead? Like, diegetically. In-universe. Watsonian argument. I usually don't mind this kinda thing, but like... a bell and a holly wreath are very specific imagery to just conjure up out of nowhere, but I think it'd make a lot more sense if Skearhead weren't just... seemingly slapped into the script because they needed a monster fight that episode.

-Like, Skearhead happens to see Elle and Tsubasa's play wedding and considers playing mind games by preying on Tsubasa's worries about the whole thing, or hell, even just wreaking havoc at someone else's wedding to draw out Pretty Cure would've been good enough for me.

-Anyways, forget all that, we're celebrating a harvest next time!

-Hi, this is Mashipan. I'm out looking at the fall colors. Please leave me a message, and I'll call you right back.

-Monda jumpscare.

-Business as usual, we see!

-See you next tiiiime, maybe!

[kckenobi]

glow, road and ring for the confession booth!

Thank youuuuuu for the ask!!

glow: what does your favourite colour remind you of and why do you like it?

I'm a weirdo and I don't think I actually have a favorite color bc I love them all! BUT I do wear a lot of green, and I think I like it because it reminds me of evergreen trees? And I love that, and I just like how the color looks in sweaters and dresses.

road: worst mistake you ever made?

Oh god I have to pick the worst one? (but so many mistakes—)

Trying not to overthink it lol, so I'm going to pick the first awful mistake that came to mind: when I was younger, there was someone in my life who I was really critical of, and I think I thought I was helping that person grow when really I was just making him feel bad. I think I really hurt them, and at the time I didn't acknowledge that I was wrong. I did get the chance to apologize later, but that doesn't undo it. I hope they're doing well now.

ring: relationship you desire the most?

I think I'm pretty content with my relationships right now, especially one with a special person :'))) I'm really lucky to love someone so kind, genuine, and thoughtful.

but if I had to add a relationship to my life non-romantically? Sometimes I would love to have like.....that older wiser mentor, a mother-figure, whathaveyou. And I do have those people in my life, but they're more distant and/or not always a mentor in the way I need. So sometimes I just want someone to be like "hey, you're doing fine, here's what you should do now" lol

Also, recently I've been wishing I had more queer friends in real life? Bc I don't have many, and none who live close to me, so that would be cool!

confession booth asks

[deceptivelydex]

Tumblr fame isn't exactly something that people flaunt, and hell it's one of the harder things to obtain. Though once you have it?- you become known around the internet pretty easily. Reposts to twitter and Instagram, people know your blog name. They'll know your face. If you post it that is;at times having you face online isn't exactly the smartest though.

I fumble my keys trying to get in my car, it's far too cold, and I didn't dress accordingly. It's 7pm, getting dark and the street is unnervingly empty. Once my car door clicks open, god bless this 80s fucking car, a startling noise is made.

A sort of awkward yelp, followed by "dexcel?- from Tumblr?"

I slowly turn on my heel. "Oh my god it is"

He's tall, tall well built. Arms defined and his body just made so well. He had the prettiest face, this guy knew my goddamn blog? He looks at me with big puppy eyes, tapping his foot almost at the tempo a tail would wag. He radiated some doggish energy. My mind already racing, sizing him up. Could I take him?- no. Could I easily win.

"Hello- uhm. Haha. You are?"

Flexing my hand. Fingers inching towards my pocket.

"Quinn, I'm Quinn- I fucking love your stuff-"

"I'm very flattered" I cut him off. I'm too distracted. He's not exactly bundled up either. Long sleeve shirt and jeans. His glasses are tucked into the collar of his shirt, so it pulls it down just enough to get a glimpse of his collar bones. He's got a literal dog's tag on a necklace chain, it says his name. This guy really was my peak demographic. Too hot for that though. Doesn't look the part of a degenerate.

"I watch all your streams— Dude, could you like sign my arm or something?"

"Hah- I can do you one better. Sign your ass?"

He kind of shrinks back and lets out a breathy noise, reluctant to respond

"Chill, man. I was kidding"

He tilts his head at my flat tone, forcing out a chuckle. So much for having an easy lay. You'd think some weirdo who's a fan, reads my blog, AND watches my stream would be an easy lay.

"Uhm-" he tilts his head the other way. Real puppyboy shit.

"C'mere. Give me your arm" I slowly pull my hand out my pocket, something tight in it. The other wraps tightly around his arm. I pull him in and give him a nasty punch straight to the side of his face. Before I can even pull back. He's yelling and reaching out to grab whatever part of me he can. He didn't even pull back. What the hell is his issue.

"Christ! Jesus just- ack!"

He grabs at the side of my neck, nails sinking into it- and I almost get riled up over that.

"You read my blog bitch! You think this bothers me?" I lean into his hand through my strangled words. Reaching both my hands towards his hair, immediately he pulls back to try and stop me. But once I've got a good grip, I put all my weight on one leg and move a hand to lay further on the back of his head. There's a loud crack when I slam his face into the side of my car.

I stand there to revel in my win. Laughing and rubbing over my neck, where he broke skin.

'Holy fucking shit.'

I step away to sort of asses evrything, scanning the area. No one. God- it's like this was meant to be- fucking no one is here.

And he seemed to be out pretty good. He'll definitely be in some nasty pain if he wakes up, i can help this if I take him home. Yeah, yeah ok. I reach down and hoist him up by his arms, propping him up onto the car so I can decently throw him over my shoulder. He's real light and I can feel muscle and bone against mine.

I struggle to open the passengers front door, but I do, and I basically cram him in there. Trying to set him up in a way that looks like he's just napping. This was risky shit I was pulling, but I guess he didn't consider that all my necro incel disgusting shit was genuine. There was blood on his face trailing from his nose, jesus this guy can fucking bleed. The door slams and I awkwardly shimmy to my side, getting in and letting out a shaky deep breath.

I never thought I'd act on my Fantasy, I'd always say I was anti-contact, that if I never acted on it then my weird kinks were fine. It just seemed so easy.

The drive home was short, anxiety inducing, the kind that makes me want to hurl. But there was also heat building up in my stomach, a nasty wetness pooling up in my boxers. Uncomfortable and putrid. I was fucking nasty.

It's all a goddamn blur, carrying him inside, pacing around. Closing the blinds, locking and chaining the door. Looking through drawers for rope. Grabbing pocket knives. Checking on him every few minutes. Throwing my pants off cause they're too tight. Feeling over his body. Looking through the drawers again. A collar i never used. Clipping it on him. Real leather. Taking my shirt off cause it's too hot. Will he think my scars are gross? You beat his face in a kidnapped him. Irrelevant. He reads about this on tumblr. It can't be that much of a turn off when he wakes. Touche. Do you know how stressful this is? He twitched. God. Ok.

He curls up to the side, letting out a groan and scrunching his face up "augh- ohh. Oh" his voice pitches up. "Ow- that fucking hurts" when he opens his eyes, we just stare. Then it hits him.

"Oh fuck- fuck what the hell. What the hell. You- no. No no- did you fucking-"

"Shut up! Shut up. Yes, are you dense? That's a stupid question to ask me. ME"

There's almost a disconnect between me and what I want to say. But I'm so frustrated and pent up. "Come on. Just. Let me do this- let me have this and you'll be fine. Ok?"

I step around the couch, grabbing my largest pocket knife off the coffee table. Ones of thos length are pretty illegal to take out. I never thought id be able to use it.

"No- no fuck no what is your issue. You're fucking insane. You're. You're a degenerate! A nasty piece of shit you're- good god"

He isn't sure whether to fight or give in, I can just imagine his tail tucked and ears pinned back. And he fucking whines. And I sweat. Hand so tightly wrapped around this goddamn knife. Blood flow straight to my dick, can't even fucking think.

"You'll take it"

"Whh-at?" His voice shakes

"You'll take it, it's what good puppies do" all that tumblr posting did me good. Cause he shifts, and it does something. He shakes his head

"No.." but I can see it.

I walk over and wave the blade Infront of him, using my free hand to unbuckle his belt. With a bit of struggle. "Don't fucking move, you do dumb shit you get what you ask for yeah?"

This time he nods. I yank his pants down and he winces, belt digging into his legs. I'm greeted with scars, scars and shaky thighs.

"You're really pretty. So gorgeous"

"Mfhmm"

"I thought you said no. About this"

I place the tip of my blade right against his buldge. I can tell he's big. But I don't take, it's irrelevant.

"Nasty mutt getting excited over his life being in actual fucking danger. That's sick you know? I mean it's expected for ME to be hard. But you? Some poor guy I napped?"

He whimpers and his legs twitch up, like he's humping into it.

"Yeah- yeahh. That's what I thought."

I crawl over, just in boxers myself, and spread his legs, slotting myself between them. Hardons and fabric separating us

"We'll start slow. I'll enjoy you alive, for now"

I lean to the side and claw at the rope til i can grab it, and i coo at him 'stay still' 'so good' 'it'll be done quick'. His wrists are tightly bound together. He's breathing hard and humping against me. He's so scared, i know he is, but he's desperate too.

"Oh- oh fuck yes. Good boy. Goood boy hahh"

We start moving, really moving. He's wrapping his legs around me, trembling as i trace my knife up and down his abdomen.

"Quinn was it? Yeah- good boy Quinn. Such a good pup"

He leans his head back and lets out a low "ohh". Almost embarrassed sounding, sort of muffled. He's bucking his hips like he just needs more, he can't wait.

"So impatient- fuck. Ahhah. God. I'm sure it'd feel better inside you-"

He squirms "no- no no I'm - not gay"

"Shh, that doesn't fucking matter now does it"

I push my blade into the top of his abdomen and drag it down. With just enough force to get a good open gash. Nothing too serious. He starts to shout but I shoot my hand up and cover his mouth.

"Shh shhh. Shh. Don't do that. You'll make me feel bad. Shhh. I know it hurts. But you'll take my dick and forget all about it"

He whines and his eyes well up, he blinks them away but they just trail down the sides of his face. I leave my blade on his tummy, his hands are tied anyways. I pull his boxers off, completely disregarding his cock. As big as it is. I can always put it to use later. Just pray he gets death's erection. I laugh out loud, he just gazes at me, all out of it.

I pull my boxers off next. I'm a little smaller, actually quite a bit smaller. It's embarrassing. I scoff and knee him in the thigh, he yips.

I make up for it in girth.

I push his legs up and look down, spitting on my dick and pumping it a few times.

"You'll be good yeah?"

He just groans and leans his head to the side.

Before he knows it, I'm pushing myself in and he's completely tense. It's a fucking strugle, he's so damn tight and he's thrashing and I'm trying to hold his legs.

"Jesus fuck dude!"

I lean forward and shove it all in, grabbing at his collar and punching him much gentler than i did before, but still enough to hurt. "Fuck! Fuck I'm sorry im sorry please" he starts to cry like a bitch. Crying doesn't do shit when this is the situation.

"You're so fucking disobedient. But so fucking sexy"

He's clenched around me, I'm already leaking onto him and making a mess. When I start moving, he gets antsy again. Whining and moaning and making stupid noises that are getting on my nerves. I try to put all my weight on him, he keeps on going. "Fuck- nghg- shut up. God. Ahh. Agh god. You're so tight. So small under me. Can you just. Mgh. Just let me have this"

He shoves his fists up against my sternum, trying to get me off. I grunt and push his head down. It lays flush against my couch. My thrusting getting messier.

"Fuck you. I mean- what happened to big fan huh? Huh? Fucking nasty annoying no good bitch. Can you just. God!"

It gets to a point, and my breaking point is when he winds his leg back and tries to kick me off. I'd be lying if i said the fighting back wasn't hot. But a guy needs to get off.

"No- no fuck you"

"Wa-it" he sobs, choking on spit and tears. He basically has snot running down his face.

"You had this fucking coming"

I grab the pocket knife and hold it as tight as i can, blade sticking out by my pinky. I reel back and he's kicking and crying and throwing his arms up. Scared and puppy eyed. His whines like a real dog. And to me that's what he is. Giving him the ol yeller. I'm the rabid wolf, gave him these nasty fantasies that sound so good in concept. Now I have to take him out to make sure no one else has him.

I go for his neck. Aim for the jugular, in all movies, books, media. Always aim for the jugular. Though that's not all true. You really aim for the cartoid artery. That doesn't sound as good though. The knife sinks in and it's euphoric. And he's fucking screaming. And It doesn't even really process. There's ringing in my ears and I'm picking up with my hips. And he's so shocked and it hurts so bad. He's wide eyed with tears and snot and drool and spit. "Ff-uck. Fuck" he's coughing and he can't even reach a hand to cover his neck "fuck- pl-ease . No. Ple-ase get help" i pull it out. Wind up again. "Call someone pllease i-" another wound right next to it.

"Good boy- so good. Such a gorgeous puppy. Did you know that? You're beautiful. I've never seen a boy as beautiful as you. Know that ok? I think you're beautiful"

I leave the knife where it is. I grab onto his knees and go at it. It's sloppy and messy and he's bleeding onto my couch, it's spurting with the pump of his heart. It's fucking grotesque. I'm nauseous and warm. I reach my hand back and yank the knife out. He can only let out air. I grab my shirt and put it snug over his neck, hand tightly wrapped.

"I don't think this will help. It wont help. But i need to see your darling expressions a little longer"

He whines, quiet weak ones. I feel the heat building up again. God. I'm a quick shot but how could i not. This is my biggest fantasy. He starts looking so out of it. Not really blinking, hardly breathing.

"It's hardly been 2 minutes. Stay with me baby"

He lets out a noise. Just barely loud enough for me to hear

"You-'re beautiful. I see you, pup. Fuck mgh- You're stunning"

My hand loosens up, and as I'm fucking into him. Nearing whatever fucked up orgasm I'm trying to catch, he goes limp. It's slow but you can tell. His head leans over and his hands are gently laid against his chest. He looks like a goddamn angel. I meant it when i said he was beautiful.

I lay my entire body on him, threading my fingers into his hair, kissing along his jaw and licking at the blood. And I'm noisy now. Whining and moaning and clinging to him. I bury my face into his neck, basically rutting into him like some animal. I start to get beyond dizzy, like I'm gonna black out.

"Oh god- oh god Quinn, oh fuck quinn. Oh you feel so good oh god. Oh I'm gonna cum. Oh god. I'm gonna cum inside. Oh- oh - "

And just like that, I'm cumming inside. Holding his face and basically making out with him, moaning into his mouth, tracing a hand down to tug his collar. Talking to no one. "Fuckk! Fuck ohh" whining and drooling onto him. I stay there, hardly conscious and dripping down my legs. Shaking and so out of it. I collapse and just wrap my arm around him. Using one hand to slowly untie his hands and snuggle up in his arms.

"Mghf. Thank you. Thank you" the clean up will be terrible

"I'll keep you around" he's so beautiful

"I'll use your dick later" he's the perfect guy.

"I'm so flattered that you're my fanpuppy"

It's quiet and he's cold, granted he had been cold the whole time. But he really is, and he's holding me and I'm content. I'm so content. This is perfect

[thisdumbassmyk]

Looking back, it was kinda super obvious. Not to me, of course, it probably would've been easier then. I mean, in preschool I had to wear this dress for graduation, and yeah, it was a cute dress. However, I fucking hated it. I told my mom it was because of this rose on it that scratched my skin, which yeah it was extremely uncomfortable, but I absolutely did not want to wear it. But I still wanted to go trick or treating dressed as a princess or a witch. But every summer, I was outside playing shirtless. I remember when my mom told me I had to start wearing a shirt, I threw a tantrum. When I started developing, my mom had to remind me to wear a sports bra. I was a runner, which is what my dad was. I guess wanting to be exactly like my dad was a pretty big hint too, huh?

I hated womens clothing, I hate how it fit my body, how it made me look, I mostly hated that it shrunk to my body so much, making it impossible to hide the lumps on my chest that I begged God to not give me. But then, my brother started calling me a d*ke, and I figured I should probably make an effort. So despite having my mom and my sister teach me all about the right clothes and how to do my makeup, somehow it came out all wrong. I ended up doing the whole "way too smokey" eyeshadow thing, and putting way too much lipstick on. Obviously, it had to be bright red or black too, which made all of it worse.

The hair though? Ponytails all the way up until I begged my mom for the infamous pixie cut. She refused, and said I should get a bob instead, "Just in case you don't like it!". I absolutely loathed that bob. But then I found Bo Burnham's "My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay" song and came out as bi to my mom with that song. Then begged for the pixie cut again and somehow that worked ?? Still sorta confused on that whole thing.

I started dressing more and more like me. Right before I came out, I started trying to dress feminine, like lesbian style fem. That's when I realized I must just be a really masc bi woman. Crazy right? Then I got my mom to buy me a pair of boys pants (that definitely didn't fit me right but thats not the point) and told her I wanted them for the big pockets. Little did I know, that was the first hint into my gender reveal that actually helped.

That was when I was about 16 years old. When I was 17, I ended up finding a group of super supportive people (most of them gay or questioning their gender) and then found Mars Wright on the clock app. He helped me realize that I could be transgender. That it was something that was possible for me, even though I had grown up seeing my mom watch "I Am Jazz", I still felt like it wasn't something I could ever do.

I ended up coming out online (and socially, except for my parents), on February 26th, 2020. It's almost been 5 years since I've been out. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to even change my name, and I definitely haven't been able to get on hormones. Now, that future I had wished for, that I prayed to God that I would eventually get, it seems like a fantasy. It seems like something that I won't be able to achieve in my lifetime. And although I didn't realize I was trans until just a couple years ago, It's something I didn't realize was missing from my life. I always felt like a weirdo growing up, the odd man (girl) out. Once I realized who I am, my life felt like the puzzle pieces were beginning to come together.

All I want is to achieve my goal. My goal of living the life I want. Being a contributing member of society as a man. Being seen as a man in the world. Legally. But it seems like that dream is put on hold for now, and most likely a long time.

[emwrcte]

Continued from here. | @multiiplied

     ❝ You've lost it, really, this is a new low for you Harleen. Or. . High ?? How does that work ? ❞ She stood there, overlooking her investigation wall she hobbled together, skipping the board for her poor apartment wall. . She was going all out for this, she'd stumbled on some group taking advantage of some poor ladies of the night— She tried to ignore it, act like it wasn't a bother to her, not her life anymore, but god damn the harder she ignored it the louder the voices got.               ❝ High. It's a high, we'll take that. ❞ Then, someone responded to her, she squeaked before turning around, hand already reaching for her comically large hammer she had propped to a nearby table. . Though, she hesitated once she put the pieces together. . She knew that voice too, the hell did HE want tonight ?? Surely she wasn't scheduled for any checkups, she's been good !

              ❝ Y'know you're gonna give a poor lady a heart attack someday, sneakin' in like you own the place and standin' there WATCHIN' 'ER !! I know you gotta be a real weirdo to dress up like a bat and run around all night but I didn't think you were THAT weird. HMPH. ❞ She huffed, crossing her arms and stomping.               ❝ What do you even — ? I've been a good girl, I haven't. . Worn the. . . Costume in. . . . . . Ok, I know what this looks like, it's not like that. ❞ She was getting sidetracked again, shit. ❝ Uggghhh whateva, what do you WANT ? Kinda in the middle o' somethin' here. ❞

𝙃𝙚'𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙠𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙮𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙧. For her sake. After everything she's put him through, all the things she's done to people — He can't help but still hold out hope. He knows there's a good heart under the mask she puts on for him. There's always been more to her. And he refuses to let that idea die. And when Harleen speaks, he doesn't interrupt her. Just listens.

But when she prompts him, he answers. Her comments mostly get shrugged off, not entertained by the thought of her regressing. But also not blind to the fact she was trying to be funny. Humor was a comfort to her, even the Batman could understand that. So when he replies, it's in kind. Deadpan, but an effort is made. And yet he can't help but show his hand. He can't help but show he cares. 〞Forgot my keys. 〞

That large, imposing figure steps into the light, his lips in a stoic line. They always are. But his tone tells her everything. It's soft, praising, and yet knowing. It's like he knows. Like he knows the impulses pain drives people towards, and the way it drags you back into old ways. But he doesn't let it define his words. They come out kind. Sincere. Tender, even.

〞I just wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you. 〞He doesn't have to say any more than that at first. A stark contrast to the force of violent retribution most know, the hand that places itself on her shoulder seems to urge her to put the hammer down. He wasn't here for a fight.

〞You've kept yourself out of trouble. Set an example for people like you. Proven everyone who called you a maniac wrong. 〞Proven me right. He doesn't say it, but then again he doesn't have to. Even during her trial, somebody paid for a good laywer. Somebody believed in her enough to put their money into it. And it didn't take a genius to know what kind of idiot would believe in a girl like her, after everything she did.

〞You wouldn't put on the makeup again for you. Which means you're doing it for somebody else. If you tell me what's going on, I can help you. I know you wouldn't do this without a good reason this time, Harley. 〞

[squirrelno2]

@greenestcoat I mean this very genuinely you are my hero and also the fact that you asked about dance makes me so happy

I got into dance when my mom and grandma took me to see the Nutcracker at age three (a very classic story honestly) - I don't remember anything about the show itself but I remember standing in the lobby getting a Clara Christmas ornament from the gift shop and proclaiming I was going to be Clara someday

(I still haven't been Clara but I was the sugar plum fairy in my senior year of high school, which is also a partial answer to the question of my favorite performances)

I don't know if I have a favorite style? Ballet was my first love and getting on pointe is one of my proudest achievements, but jazz and contemporary were both hugely important to me growing up just in how I learned to be a person (long story but I had a good teacher and the styles really emphasize a kind of freedom to make mistakes that was really healthy for my very messed up childhood brain)

Honestly I'm always chasing any dance forms from the African diaspora, it's kind of a special interest of mine - I've done a variety of actually African dances, as well as jazz and tap and hip-hop (I love it and I'm bad at it oh my god never ask me to show you my hip-hop skills) and Afro-Brazilian and probably some others given what I got up to in college was mostly "take every style you can" - the history of these dance styles and the places where they share similarities is super fascinating to me and underappreciated in the dance world at large even though the Africanist aesthetic is present in every American dance form as well as forms around the world

(I spent one year learning about this stuff and now I don't shut up about it - anyway Brenda Dixon Gottschild is The author to read for info on that, I can't really do it justice at this stage in my education) (also gonna say everyone who's interested in the intersection of dance and race should look into Donald Byrd's work because it's his fault I'm Like This)

My fondest dance memories are the messy ones - the time we rehearsed our pointe piece my junior year of high school in front of parents and other dancers, only for me to fall down doing a piqué arabesque directly towards the audience, and then I got up so quickly even my teacher had no idea it happened; sugar plum dress rehearsal where my leotard strap broke and the only thing keeping me from a nip slip in front of my classmates was a nude leotard, and I being a weirdo dancer finished the whole thing before dealing with it; the time the music stopped halfway through our selections from Giselle and so we finished the whole piece by dancing first in silence and then to the music that was two minutes behind us when it restarted (also the only time I danced the part I was understudy for in that piece. Sigh)

I like the mistake moments, clearly. It's fun to mess up and realise you can just keep going

[encoreofnihility]

◆CHAPTER 1|:ENKO LAVENDEL

THE THE TRUTH OF A LIE

Enko 8 years old

*Enko wakes up*

Enko:*yawns*

Enko's mom:Enkolette come here sweetie

Enko:Ok mom!

*Enko runs down the stairs*

Enko:What is it mom?

Enko's mom:Well today instead of playing around you are going to start villain school, doesn't that sound fun!

Enko's mind:Villain school?!But I want to be a hero!

Enko:Y-Yeah that sounds fun HAHAH

Enko's mom: Wonderful!Now hurry up and get dressed before your late, I'll be in the car

Enko:Ok mom

*Enko gets dressed and goes to the car*

*They reach the school*

Enko's mom:Are you ready Enkolette

Enko:Yeah mom …

*Enko gets out of the car and enters school*

Alright I have um..Oh right I have Fighting practice?

*Enko walks into fighting practice*

Enko's teacher: Everyone stop,this is our new student Enkolette,say hi everyone

The class:Hello Enkolette

*Some of the kids laugh at her name*

Bully 1:pfft what kind of name is Enkolette

*Enko starts to get embarrassed but continues with her classes*

*5 years later*

Enko 12 years old

*Enko kicks her opponent*

Enko:phew that was a close one

Bully 1:Don't think your good just because I lost this one "Enkolette"

Enko:Oh shut up you weirdo

Enko's teacher: Enkolette you don't use that language in school premises,go see the principal

*Enko goes to the principal*

The principal: Enkolette you need to stop acting up like this,before you were never like this what's the matter with you?

Enko:Don't expect an answer your all just annoying,I never wanted to come to this school in the first place.

*The principal sighs*

The principal: Just go to your next lesson enko

*3 years later*

Enko 15

*Enko walks into her house*

Enko's dad:Enko that you?

Enko:yeah dad it's just me

*Enko sighs*

Enko's dad:Enko what's the matter?

Enko:I'm just sick of being bullied just because of my name it's starting to piss me of

Enko's dad:well you finish school in 3months I'm sure you can hang on till there sweetie

Enko:Yeah I guess your right

*Enko smiles*

Enko: I'll be in my room if you need me

Enko's dad: alright sweetie

*2 months later*

*Enko wakes up*

Enko: Another boring day for "Enkolette"

*Enko shouts*:Hey dad can you drive me to school

Enko's dad:Of course Enko get ready and I'll be in the car

Enko:Thanks dad

*Enko gets dressed and gets into the car*

Enko:thanks alot dad

Enko's dad: don't worry about it Enk,just make sure you don't get into trouble in your last month

Enko: Alright dad for you I wo-

*The car crashes into a van*

*1 hour later*

*Enko starts to wake up*

Enko:What happened?

Enko:DAD!

Nurse: Don't worry Enkolette your dad is just fine but he will be in the hospital for a couple of years

Enko:Is there any way for him to get better sooner?

Nurse:Yes but it's a treatment what will cost quite a bit

*Enko stays at the hospital for a while*

Enko:Dad I think it's time I get back home

Enko's dad:Yeah *cough*don't worry about me though my little enko*cough*

Enko:You know I will *giggles*

*They smile*

*Enko enters her house*

*Enko falls to the ground and bursts out crying*

Enko:God…if you hear this please…please help me and my father,I know what we do isn't good but I promise you I'll do anything for my father to be happy again I know you exist I believe In you so please….please help me…..

*6 months pass*

Enko 16

Enko:I should have known that God wouldn't do anything.We don't deserve this..I stopped being a villain for you god and you don't help me!

*Enko cry's*

Enko:I'm never going to believe in a god again…

*1 month later*

*Enko is walking around Koralle-Meer and bumps into someone*

Enko:I-Im so sorry I didn't mean to here let me help you pick those up

Taruaki Haishin:No,No it's quite alright please let me

Enko's mind:Woah she's so pretty?

*Enko starts to blush*

Enko:Oh ok..

Enko:Wait, I think I've seen you somewhere?I HAVE! YOUR APART OF NULLUS DEUS

Taruaki:Why yes I am

Enko: Perfect! I've been looking to join NULLUS DEUS actually

Taruaki:Oh really?what's your reason

Enko;I've always wanted revenge on God

Taruaki:Well you have come to the right place!

[mariomarc]

Once again I'm looking at posts about FWA and casual group sex that was had, and like

I think its making me anxious(?), perhaps because I'm feeling jealousy or longing, I don't know what the right word would be.

Honestly for the longest time, because of a complete lack of socialization, and too early access to porn, I've had a very skewed view of sex, and I hate it.

Its hard for me to not see it sometimes as "fucking", I guess if I want to put it as porn would tell me in one word, or that thing that couples do which is slow and intimate. Those two views obviously aren't mutually exclusive or wrong, but somehow I never saw it as just a thing people can do for just fun, casually, as friends even.

I think I've always struggled with the concept of sex, I am a horny, sexual being, but there are times when my worries or anxieties have made me go so far as to think, "I don't want to have sex", "I won't do it right", "it will feel weird", "its too much work", and I feel awful

I don't want to feel stressed about the concept of sex, it really shouldn't be.

But god, I didn't even have proper long term friends till my 20s, I spent all of my youth just thinking everyone my age was stupid, and that everything they liked or did for fun was stupid, I'm above those other teenagers because I don't drink or party or have a relationship.

I was frankly a shithead growing up, I just never said any of this outloud.

Now I'm 28, finally have friends i care about and want to keep in my life, I have a fucking boyfriend, and I guess I just want to experience and experiment.

I spent so much of my life cooped up not wanting to know what was there, thinking everyone was wrong, and now I finally understand whats out there.

I just want to be open, be me, have some casual sex with nice people, be a weirdo, maybe be a freak, just stop worrying so much and enjoy my life, and find what I want out of it.

This is all a bit horny on main, but fuck it, I'm a fucking adult, anyone following should be a fucking adult, we can talk about sex like adults.

I want to go to a convention with my boyfriend, dress up in a collar and a skirt, arm warmers and thigh highs, and have some fun with weird people who just want to have fun.

There is no form to this, I'm just ranting, but fuck I just want to openly be a fucking freak and enjoy it.

Thank you if you made it this far.