#god bless my dad i miss him so much (also i'm so fucking jealous he saw t. rex live sjfnjdj)

[galadriiel]

this may sound snobbish or cheesy but idc i was just thinking about how lucky i was to get into sixties&seventies music before i really knew how to use the internet & youtube only had the odd concert recordings but never studio versions & i had to rely on my dad who was actually alive back then & went to a bunch of cool concerts & how exciting it was to get a new cd or book on a band i liked like that one time when i was getting into t. rex which basically meant watching the top of the pops recording of hot love a billion times on a loop, falling a little in love with marc and bothering my dad until he told me all about the time he saw them live & one day he came home from a day in town & i went out to greet him & i caught a flash of a yellow silhuette on a cd and just fucking screamed and hugged him for like ten minutes and my mum was just like ?? what's happening ?? and i was like it's electric warrior can't you see !!! and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening looking at the cover & the pictures in the booklet that goes with it and listening to the album over and over from start to finish & it's probably the closest i could have gotten to experiencing getting the album when it actually came out & i'm so glad i didn't even know services like spotify existed cos i may depend on it now but it's just not the same & i managed to get into most of the bigger bands i like the same way i did with t. rex & i'm so glad i did !! same w led zeppelin, we only had their first four albums & i didn't know jackshit about them apart from what again my dad told me & then he bought me a book on them & i was like holy shit they have more albums ??? & i went to hmv and spent all my pocket money on physical graffiti & presence & then later in through the out door and coda & i wouldn't have it any other way :') obviously now i enjoy how available everything is & being able to talk to people about music but back then it was just me, my dad, the odd concert recording on youtube, blurry images on fanpop & the records and the books & i'm so glad

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ BOKUTO KOUTARO BEING A DAD HEADCANONS! ❞

✎ . . . will you please write about oikawa, bokuto, and sugawara as dads?? :>

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ bokuto koutaro <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATUSMU VERSION. ] [ KUROO TETSURO & KOZUKE KENMA VERSION. ] [ IWAIZUMI HAJIME VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . no thoughts, head and heart full of bokuto koutaro

BOKUTO KOUTARO.

➜ bokuto wanted to have a baby with you

➜ that's it that's the tweet thank you for reading😌💅

➜ i'm kidding don't leave, i have abandonment issues

➜ just like oikawa, kou ─ your husband, has gotten baby fever and it wasn't going down any minute until bb boy gets his way

➜ phew, i'd let him get his way with me✋😳

➜ bokuto was great with kids, always playing around with them in a park as if he was one of them, and both of you knew that

➜ and when bokuto sees that you're also good with kids, mans knew he wanted to build a family with you

➜ he wanted not just one, because seeing what both of you created taking in different forms and pieces of their parents would leave him so proud

➜ would very much take it as a sign from the universe saying to him that the both of you were meant to be patents

➜ the day he lets you awknowledge his little daydream, was when the both of you were sitting down on the coach re-watching his match last week after babysitting one of your guys' friend's kid

➜ mans couldn't TAKE IT ANYMORE

➜ the way you coo at the child, you cooked with the child and just the way you tenderly supported the kid with your arms as you helped him reach a toy from the shelf

➜ and of course, you accepted it; there wasn't any other man other than kou that you wanted to start a family with

➜ let's just say mans wanted to make one right then and there after you confessed to him that you wanted to start a family with him as well

➜ and y'all did just that💀

➜ after receiving the news of your pregnancy, bokuto has never been more happy, aside from those times he won a match on nationals and, well ─ marrying you

➜ but in the white noise of excitement and joyfulness, there was a lingering thought and it was terrifying; what if he doesn't make enough time for both you and his child because of volleyball? will he have to take a break from it? would your child love him?

➜ bokuto was now down to emo mode just with the thought of your guys' children hating him

➜ and when the thoughts became to unbearable, he contacts akaashi.

“ bokuto-san, ” koutaro could tell akaashi was thinking about it before saying something,

“ you're one of the best men i know that's good with children; don't waste your time sulking about nonsensical what if's, when the present is right there in front of you ”

➜ akaashi was, to say the least, your one of your children's godfather.

➜ but the day your babies was going to arrive, it was as if your husband had a switch and unlike the usual ─ he was the one supporting you

➜ he held your hand, squeezing them to let you be aware that he's right there by your side, knowing that you needed all the support right now and he gave it to you

➜ tenfolds the support you gave him

➜ and when be first saw the first triplet being born, he knew right there that he fell in love once again, but with the child he has co-produced with the love of his life !!

➜ i just wanted to say that y'all's kids are NIGHT OWLS, literally, gets the biggest bursts of energy at ungodly hours

➜ koutaro would still get anxious and terrified, but there was something about your triplets that puts him at ease ─ like, one thing he'd be doubting himself and then the next thing, he'd be all fuzzy inside when his three triplets just looked like a litter of puppies asking for his attention on his lap

➜ and he'd just, revert back to reality seeing how blessed he was and stopped doubting himself and just live in the present

➜ EYE ─ I'M SO SOFT I CAN'T😭✋

“ now say dada ” he encouraged the little sunshines on his lamp as a youthful giggle serenated from his son's lips

“ dawa ─ ” the baby tried to copy his words, before shreiking of laughter when kosuke saw the defeated look on his father's face, somehow bringing him joy

➜ while his baby girl, kouzumi, was peacefully attached to him as the most interesting in her golden eyes were his hair ─ attempting to reach her arms to his hair, making grabby arms

➜ after a few months, you've noticed how much your triplets were in sync with their father ─ all together, being balls of sunshine

“ you've been trying for hours kou, take a break. ” you laugh, as you looked up from the book you were holding seeing your husband housing an offended look, and of course ─ a weird sound, a scoff? you didn't know, until, your other son imitated him

➜ almost perfecting the one he made

➜ and bokuto was ECSTATIC

“ hONEY, HONEY, OH MY GOD DID YOU HEAR THAT? ” he squealed, as his son imitated his sound again

“ he's responding to me !! ”

“ dO IT AGAIN KOSUKE ” he says as he takes out his phone

➜ the type of father to do the peek-a-boo game with his triplets and doing it perfectly as they're just enamured by his father as if he was doing some avada kedevra shit 😭🗿

➜ hey queen!! 🙆👑 GIRL, YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN, CONSTANTLY RAISING📈📉 THE BAR🔝 FOR US AND DOING IT F L A W L E S S  L Y

➜ the type of father that would never miss any important moments with his children, even though he's a busy with volleyball especially since it's his profession

➜ the type of father that has too many videos of his children on his phone saying papa in different ways, trying to imitate him, first steps, first laugh & JUST EVERYTHING

➜ has a whole usb of his children, three folders for each of them

➜ has a whole ass frame of his daughter's drawing from five years old of him and her and he would NOT let anyone touch it other than him and maybe you when you when you need to dust off the frames because it's getting too dusty

➜ you guys would always be there to support him no matter what, either in the stands of at home

➜ but when you guys do visit his games and cheer him on, MANS WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE

“ mommy !! look, daddy's coming ” kaoru, the youngest of your triplets, tugged softly on your coat

➜ you smiled as you saw your husband running up to you and your kids after his matches as a few reporters, in respect, stood a few meters away from you guys, taking kosuke on his right arm, the other with kaoru and on top of his shoulders was kouzumi tugging on her father's spiked hair she could never seem to get over with

“ ahH ─ my hair baby girl, you're kinda hurting daddy ” koutaru laughed as your daughter tried processing his words before wrapping her arms around his head softly to not fall off a small gasp escaping her lips

“ i'm sowry for hurting you daddy! ” she exclaimed as her brothers tried telling her off while the reporters just watched in awe at her

“ don't hurt daddy just because he lets you on top of there ─ ” kosuke scolded her, slightly jealous that she had the highest view

“ ─ yeah! ” your youngest vigorously nodded his head as he agreed to his brother, both obviously pouting that she had the chance to be ontop of their father's shoulders

“ uh kou, i can take them now since there's a few people wanting to interview you. ” you offered as you jerked your head onto the reporters directions smiling at them

“ oh no ma'am !! it's alright, we also kinda wanted to interview your children as well, since a lot of netizens are curious about them, seeing them everywhere on his socials. ”

➜ you guys agreed as they start asking you guys questions, but more to the triplets as they responded cutely, their identical amber eyes looking at them like an owl in curiousity

➜ JUST IMAGINE THREE ADORABLE OWL LOOKING KIDS HANGING ON TO THEIR MOTHER OWL AND BOKUTO JUST LOOKS LIKES A MONKEY BAR LMAO

➜ like these kids just attached to him lmao

➜ but there are times where he has to go on tournaments, training camps, olympics & probably photoshoots/commercials ngl and these three owls he left in your care are in EMO MODE LMAOO😭✋

➜ they got it from their dad, and you were now stuck with three emo bokutos but times three

➜ wow multiplication

➜ when she's a mathematician😍

➜ but bokuto would honestly also miss his children clinging to him for dear life

➜ like they would never be separated without having facetime calls every five hours

➜ but your kids understood that he has other things to do and theg try not to complain that much for your sake

➜ your kids are actually sweethearts okay 🥺

➜ when they grew up, his sons were still attached to him but they weren't as clingey as when they were in their childhood days ─ but your daughter phew, your daughter used to be the clingiest of them all and now it's just none, nonexistent, vanished, obliviated, avada kedevra LMAO

➜ like you know how teenagers be

➜ and your husband was DEPRESSED ABOUT IT

➜ his bb girl won't touch his hair anymore :(

➜ his bb girl won't be a little girl no more :(

➜ especially when kouzumi starts having boyfriends😭 MANS WAS SAD THAT THERE ARE ALREADY BOYS OTHER HIM IN HER LIFE

➜ it felt as if it wasn't even yesterday that kouzumi said that she don't need no prince, she'll be both a fucking princess and knight in shinning armor

➜ ugh periodt💅

➜ and koutaro's nows just like

“ WHERE DID ALL THAT TALK GO ?? ”💀💀💀

➜ ALSO BOKUTO GIVES THE BEST ADIVCES NO CAP

➜ gives volleyball advices, relationship advices better than u could ever

➜ this is getting too long but, even if some of his kids may not show it anymore, they still love their father so much and won't let anyone replace him because he's basically the ace of their hearts.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [I think may as well start from the start and we can just skip around and get all the potential jealousy 'cos why not, so this can be 2nd day] Janis: they invited you down the pub after? Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: no need to rub it in, lad with the neck tattoos does fancy me, he's just having a go at the long game Janis: have to tell him how many hours you've got left, like Jimmy: DIY tattoo so he knows it's real Janis: 😏 Janis: would hate for you to miss your chance is all, with your lack of English skills and him not being able to count Janis: 🌠💘 Jimmy: Tah mate Jimmy: nice to see a life of crime ain't changed nowt and you're still the same romantic Janis: anything to get him off my case Janis: nothing personal Jimmy: I get it, you've only got eyes for the one with 💪🏆🥇 Jimmy: just a couple of athletes falling for each other Janis: obvs Janis: fully thick enough to see this as perfect dating grounds Janis: petty criminals are the most eligible of bachelors 😍 Jimmy: duh Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: we all know you're that thick, mate Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: such a sweet talker today, you Janis: me? Jimmy: you heard Janis: you're funny Jimmy: must be all the #bants flying about Jimmy: can't take all the credit off the lads though Janis: this is why it's a good thing you don't go to boarding school Janis: never hack it Jimmy: @iantaylor8 ���� Janis: sure he don't want you making friends with any more undesirables Janis: be so buzzin' Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: party at the Taylor gaff, forget the pub lads Janis: gotta 1up your 💕, yeah Janis: bit rude Jimmy: he 💕s it Janis: duh Jimmy: you coming to my party then, Jules? Janis: you have fucked over my other plans Jimmy: OR I'm a 🥇 wingman and you're free now to have a #datenight with 💪🏆🥇 Janis: answered your own question there then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: know it's purely selfish though Jimmy: It's alright, I forgive you for choosing 💕 over mates Janis: I was talking about you, dickhead Jimmy: Me? Janis: 🙄 Janis: yes you Jimmy: Doing it to make Ian's day, that's selfLESS, my dear Janis: you clearly just wanna give neck tattoo a new one Jimmy: hot Jimmy: but if I were gonna I'd just invite him over Janis: don't wanna be weird about it Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I ain't been hanging with the flat whites so long that I've lost every 🏆 Jimmy: basic's not catching Janis: sure 😏 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Touchy Jimmy: Piss off 💕 Jimmy: that better? Janis: you tell me Jimmy: nah, you tell me Jimmy: you're 💔 Janis: am I now Jimmy: I just said Janis: so that means it must be fact Jimmy: Answered your own question there Jimmy: Only fake nice, me Janis: better tell your mate Jimmy: ? Janis: 🕸💘🌢🐍🕈 Janis: be rude to lead him on Jimmy: he don't want me to be nice Janis: 👍 Jimmy: must be bored if you're that invested in my 💕 life Janis: no, picking litter is the biggest thrill of my life Janis: rivals the sleepover Jimmy: obvs, you rich girls love to slum it Janis: only when they look like 💪🏆🥇 Jimmy: I get it, you're bored enough to try and 💔😭 me Jimmy: bit rude Janis: don't need to try Jimmy: [throws something at her, excuse him everyone] Janis: [does 😭 boohoo face at him] Jimmy: I'll have my 😭 in a bit, don't rush me, Janet Janis: s'alright Janis: know you can't keep up, that's not news Jimmy: you inspired me, might as well make it proper 🎨 more like Janis: I look forward to the ------------- stories Jimmy: Just deciding if I wanna tattoo the cliche 🌢 or a 🖤 or a sarky ☻ Jimmy: get his attention an' all Janis: Hoe Janis: you got a 50/50 he's a racist though so worth a shot that one Jimmy: [selfies of him with those deliberately badly drawn on top of the photo like what do you think] Janis: with skills like that, get the pen and needle out now, like Jimmy: could always get your name done, Bill'd be proper chuffed Jimmy: 🤞 wouldn't forget it as easy either Janis: clearly works for some 😍🤤 Jimmy: that's that sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: interested to see what name you settle on Jimmy: your actual, Juliet Jimmy: obvs Janis: not paying for the laser 💁 Jimmy: I'll just put a ❌ through it Jimmy: keep the 🥀 though Janis: Classy Janis: love that for you Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: really gonna make Ian's day that Janis: he got any? Jimmy: @ him Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm already v busy here Janis: not gonna chat up your dad, tah Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Jimmy: gutted for him and you Jimmy: my poor baby Janis: yeah, all boys want step mums, I get it Jimmy: told you before, don't want you as mine Jimmy: if nowt else it'd be dead weird when he can't keep hold of you longer than a few days Janis: bit rude Janis: you know I'm dedicated 💪🥇 Jimmy: were talking about his flaws not yours Janis: I can fix him Janis: got some tips from the gals Jimmy: you're too busy, that were what you just said Janis: yeah but now you don't want me to, I clearly have to Jimmy: crack on then Jimmy: you know his @ Jimmy: and address Janis: thanks for your blessing Jimmy: see you at the wedding Jimmy: 👋 Janis: awh Janis: look well cute in your matching suits Jimmy: duh Jimmy: get some flower girl garb for the 🐕💕 Janis: providing he ain't kicked her out again, deffo Jimmy: she'll do herself in when he kicks you out any road 💔 Janis: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: so rude Jimmy: he is, yeah Jimmy: not news Janis: c'est la vie Janis: well in with Mia's now Jimmy: could try and put something in the vows if you've got your 🖤 but we know who the real daddy™ is Jimmy: set* Jimmy: what's Mia's last name? Janis: Dunno Janis: something suitably plain Janis: you know the vibe, Taylor Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can't even fake offended? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: name's the top thing he's done for me if we're gonna rate any of the bollocks Janis: guess I'm just blatantly jealous then Janis: #cantrelate Jimmy: so soz Joanne Jimmy: my sister hates hers if that dries your eyes any, bit too much like a 🐕 Janis: Yeah, love making kids cry, me Jimmy: got the wrong one, there's no danger with her Janis: 👌 Janis: you're easy, don't matter Jimmy: she'll make you cry when you're her new step mum Jimmy: I'll be 😂 Janis: anything to make you smile, babe Jimmy: cute Janis: you are Jimmy: you ain't got time for flirting, we all heard you Janis: not flirting, bighead Jimmy: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: I won't tell the others Janis: I'm not the one that's concerned if they know Janis: [look back like that's right] Jimmy: Why would I care? Jimmy: massive slag so you said earlier Janis: She probably don't wanna feel like one and all though Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: like you don't know, alright Jimmy: wouldn't have asked if I did Janis: come on, you're well blatant Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you and your hero vibes 💕 Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: 😂 alright Jimmy: Alright, dickhead Janis: don't be pissy Janis: she's obviously into it Jimmy: shut up Janis: why you being moody about it Jimmy: Why are you being a knobhead about the fact I ain't one? Janis: I ain't? Janis: I'm not the one you want 🏆 from so no need to go that far Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: you Janis: How am I? Jimmy: Not being a massive twat to her doesn't mean I'm 😍💕 Janis: didn't say you were Jimmy: What then? Janis: just don't act like your intentions are any purer than theirs Janis: that's bollocks Jimmy: I don't have intentions, that's bollocks Janis: alright Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Jimmy: you gonna leave it out now or what? Janis: alright Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: [a look at her like are you alright though] Janis: [defiant one back like obvs am, YOU drop it] Jimmy: [😒] Janis: [sticks her tongue out at him like a child but also like cheer up] Jimmy: [just shaking his head like he's so #over it] Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [giving them back and then ignoring her like he's so busy] Janis: [so 😒] Jimmy: [oh lads you do make me laugh] Janis: [clearly having so much #bants with these lads] Jimmy: [#fuming] Janis: [I'm like be careful gal, god knows the sort lmao] Jimmy: [same though I'm too much of a grandma for this] Janis: [as tempting as it would be to #trigger your parents, not gonna take one home] Jimmy: [Ali getting hit with those mems of all her shit exes like] Janis: [mhmm that and Edie's] Jimmy: [you should do it gal] Janis: [cannot though 'cos had a fake boyfriend] Janis: has* Jimmy: [I'm like but still do it though, you don't have to seduce said delinquent] Janis: [just bringing one home to hang lmao no boo] Jimmy: [😿] Janis: [they mad enough at Jimmy, it's fine] Jimmy: [true] Janis: [not playing that dangerous game ty] Jimmy: [plus Jimothy 😒 enough too rn] Janis: 🚬 break? Jimmy: You're alright Janis: okay Janis: well can I have one Jimmy: [comes over and hands her the 🚬 and lighter like there you go] Janis: [taking it like cheers but looking at him like ?] Jimmy: [walking away like a rude hoe cos there's too much drama at school] Janis: [just like excuse me but walking off in another direction to 🚬 like fine then] Jimmy: [I like to think he's gonna go somewhere else to do it because that petty bitch] Janis: you quit or what Jimmy: What kind of question's that? Janis: a valid one, apparently Jimmy: wouldn't be very on brand or #goals of me Janis: no shit, like Jimmy: There you go then Janis: thanks for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Fuck sake Jimmy: What now? Janis: don't say you ain't in a mood if you are Jimmy: I've said nowt one way or other Janis: no need now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: yeah I got it Janis: fuck you too, like Jimmy: Yeah, I got it an' all Jimmy: You're on one today Janis: Oh right, it's me that's in the mood Jimmy: too right, girl Janis: Oh my God Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Janis: just shut up then Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: Great Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: Alright Janis: what does that mean Jimmy: it means I know when to stop Janis: If I could give you a look right now, I would Janis: bullshit do you Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: not stopping you Janis: you don't wanna so why would I Jimmy: 'cause you do wanna Jimmy: you just said, if you could, you would Janis: just meaning I can't 👀 you Janis: not that immature Jimmy: so come see me Janis: who's over there Jimmy: I am Jimmy: you're the only mate I've got, you know that Janis: you don't need to sobstory Janis: just admit you want me to come over too Jimmy: there's no 🎻🎻 playing Jimmy: you're the only mate I want Janis: don't flirt with me now, like Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno yet Janis: could be really bad Jimmy: I ain't scared of you Janis: that's your first mistake then Janis: [obviously comes over] Jimmy: [the eye contact though] Janis: [just dying but managing to be like 'what'] Jimmy: [just pulling her closer to him like she hasn't come here enough for his liking] Janis: [lil noise that you could pretend was protest but is not] Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: ['Jimmy' the frustration like boy Jimmy: [you know he's gonna say her name too in response to kill us all] Janis: [makeout o'clock] Jimmy: [no regrets] Janis: [gotta be done yo] Jimmy: [we know what you two are like] Janis: [hoes my boo say] Jimmy: [#extra] Janis: [literally have work to do here] Jimmy: [lol don't be getting in trouble on day 2 please] Janis: [such rebhogs] Jimmy: [love you nerds so much] Janis: [shall we skip to our next jealousy event?] Jimmy: [why not] Janis: [what's the mood] Jimmy: [like clearly we gotta kick it up a notch with this girl somehow but not too far yet hmm] Janis: [what is a could be friendly/could be flirty thing, have a think] Jimmy: [maybe she invites him to something obvs not as highkey as the date moment later? like maybe she's into photography too and there's something art hoe-y idk]] Janis: [that's a good idea, let's do that] Jimmy: [maybe they are gonna do something fake dating and he can't cos he's going to that] Janis: [that's a good way for her to even know it's a thing so yeah, deffo] Jimmy: [come at me girl] Janis: You ready to go? Jimmy: ? Janis: we were going cinema with 'em Jimmy: shit, I thought that were tomorrow Janis: Ha, I wish Janis: why? Jimmy: [sends her the deets to the thing which in my head is like one of those walking tour things where you take pics so it's also like a photography class or something cos again don't need to be that swag] Janis: Oh Janis: alright Janis: you coulda mentioned that earlier 🙄 Jimmy: like I said, I reckoned the 👀🍿🔪 were the next day Janis: well it ain't Janis: just say you're sick, again Janis: don't matter Jimmy: say I'm stuck babysitting, you can fake you're with me and you won't have to go either Janis: Not planning on going regardless, tah Janis: but that works Janis: sure they'll be devastated either way 💔 Jimmy: hope the film's a sad one then Jimmy: bit awkward to 😭 at a comedy Janis: hasn't stopped 'em before Jimmy: 💔 when a lad don't show tbf Janis: you can send the fruit baskets if you have time Janis: again, nothing new to 'em is it Jimmy: only thing close to a fruit I recognise is 🥔 Jimmy: they really would be devastated if I sent 'em chips Janis: best to just 👻 'em Janis: comfort in familiarity and all that Jimmy: ✔ Janis: have fun then, nerd Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: my 🎨 homework ain't done itself, and if that's anyone's fault it's yours Jimmy: what kind of muse Janis: if you're asking me to do your homework, not that hard-up for plan bs Jimmy: wouldn't trust you to do nowt as far as I could chuck you, babe Janis: 💔 so gutted Jimmy: Obvs Jimmy: come round in a bit if you want, won't make you do any homework Janis: Wow, so tempting Janis: you're alright Jimmy: Alright Janis: go impress the art hoes with that chat Jimmy: got need to say owt Jimmy: don't* Jimmy: 😎🚬📷 Janis: that's handy Jimmy: you can shut up an' all Janis: n'awh Janis: calm down Jimmy: ladies first Janis: Forgot, you can't handle any #bants Jimmy: I can handle everything you've got, girl Jimmy: deny that but you can't properly forget it Janis: don't tell me to shut up then Jimmy: come on, it's all just #bants Janis: Try harder then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: ? Jimmy: you heard me Janis: I don't know what you're chatting though Jimmy: Why are you being so mardy? It ain't a hard question Janis: 'cos I've got to talk to them and answer all their questions Janis: 'cos you can't remember what day of the week it is Jimmy: I'll do it then Janis: don't bother Janis: as if they won't be in my inbox regardless to see if we're sticking to the same story or what the truth of it really is Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright? Janis: Yeah Jimmy: I'll think of something well #goals to drag 'em to Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Alright, no need to be a twat with it Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: save that kind of believability for your captions Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [he should 100% take a pic that has community service girl in it or she should tag him in one either way so she knows the gal is there] Janis: [the sarcastic ❤ that is getting lmao] Jimmy: [like realistically she's probably tagged him because he's not gonna jeopardise fake dating babysitting story they've concocted but yeah] Janis: You're such an amateur Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Hardly Janis: getting caught and tagged in photographic evidence Janis: you know nothing about having a sidechick or what Jimmy: 1. I weren't gonna tell her to keep me well out of shot 'cause I have a fake dating scam I'm pulling Jimmy: 2 They know when it was posted not when it were taken Janis: Handle your business Janis: first you forget the plan then you totally fucking risk it all Jimmy: Calm down Jimmy: They ain't nudes Janis: Same diff when you get papped out and about on your date Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: just untag it and do better next time Jimmy: Duh Janis: Duh @ yourself, rookie Janis: embarrassing Jimmy: Piss off Janis: tell your gf the deal and we wouldn't have to have this convo Jimmy: she's nowt of the sort and I ain't telling her nowt either Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: if you're gonna have a real love life, you've got to end your fake first Janis: simple as Jimmy: I'm not Janis: okay Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, if you're gonna go on what look like dates with all your pals, the untag rule still needs to apply probably Jimmy: I'm not thick Jimmy: it weren't like I posed for her Janis: then how do you not get what that was Jimmy: ? Janis: you don't just invite random lads to shit like that and just take photos they happen to be in Janis: this is meant to be your thing, work it out Jimmy: Nah, you're making it a thing it ain't Jimmy: taking photos of people you're with ain't a big deal, she don't know that we're surrounded by weird 💀 lasses Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: Good Janis: willful ignorance ain't the same as actual Janis: but it's all the same to this fake shit so Janis: point remains Jimmy: if you've got a point to make, just make it Janis: Literally did Jimmy: Great talk then, babe Janis: Not really Janis: makes you blind, sure Janis: add stupid to the list Jimmy: send me the full one when you're done 🖋🌢 Janis: It's simple Janis: don't fuck my shit up for me Janis: I get to end it, that's the deal Janis: the minimum you have to do is tell me when before you fuck it all up yourself Jimmy: I haven't and I won't Jimmy: Like I promised Jimmy: you don't look a twat, it's all alright Janis: As you said, they're psychotic Janis: no doubt they'll see it Jimmy: if they had, they'd be in both our DMs Janis: or, they think you're cheating because with that last-minute cancellation they're already suspicious and they're keeping it in their back pocket to use as and when they see fit Janis: if you think you can think like such a normal girl like your gf so clearly is then you've forgotten what you're up against Jimmy: I ain't up against nowt 'cause they'd need more than a picture I'm barely in and they ain't gonna get it Janis: make sure they don't then Jimmy: I just said as much Janis: then we're done here Janis: checking you understand Jimmy: I don't work for you, my dear Jimmy: rich girl or nah you don't need to talk to me like staff Janis: that's what this is, it's business Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: we're mates when it suits you Janis: and not when it comes to the deal Janis: that has nothing to do with any of it Jimmy: You're such a massive dickhead Janis: Yeah, well so are you Jimmy: don't lump me in with you Jimmy: I ain't being rude like that Janis: Right, you're such a nice person and I'm just the worst Janis: fine, I don't care Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You're being so Janis: what Jimmy: Leave it out Jimmy: it's just bollocks Janis: yeah, like I said Janis: conversation over Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: that's literally what you wanted Jimmy: How is it? Janis: 'cept I guess you did want me to come over and fuck you when you were done Janis: which is fucked Jimmy: You know what, this chat is over 'cause I'm fucked if I know what to say to that Janis: what part of that is not exactly what happened though Jimmy: any of it Janis: then we remember it very differently Jimmy: I got that Janis: well you're right, I can't be bothered to sit here and listen to how I'm wrong Jimmy: fuck off then Jimmy: suits me Janis: yeah, no shit Jimmy: stop going on at me Janis: I'll say what I like Jimmy: You can't be bothered to listen and you're chatting shit Janis: Listen to what? Jimmy: owt I'm saying Janis: I've heard everything you've had to say Jimmy: so just do one Jimmy: I ain't them, not gonna keep this bollocks going for the #drama Janis: fuck off telling me what to do and do it yourself Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: come and talk to me when you've sorted your head out and stopped being a fucking nightmare Janis: and I can't drop it? Janis: Piss off Jimmy: It ain't me who wants to Janis: yeah you wanna have a go Janis: fuck that Janis: I've done nothing wrong Jimmy: It ain't down to me that that's the only way you wanna chat Janis: I don't wanna hear about your date Janis: that ain't the kinda mate I am Jimmy: It's not and I weren't trying to 🗨 about it either way Janis: you can't just not mention it Janis: yeah, what you been up to, like Jimmy: I did mention it, I'm trying to get my homework done, case closed Janis: Great talk, babe Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: if it gets you to see how we've got fuck all to talk about faster Jimmy: but I just wanna fuck, yeah? So what would I wanna talk to you for? Jimmy: get your story sorted and come back Janis: exactly Janis: you don't need to try as much Janis: 😎🚬 right? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Dickhead Jimmy: You're the dickhead Janis: This is literally your fault Jimmy: I ain't done nowt except get the day of the week wrong Janis: s'all you had to fucking get right Jimmy: I said sorry Jimmy: And I said I'll think of something else to win 'em over with Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: Let me be pissed off Jimmy: I ain't stopping you Janis: yes you are Janis: if you're gonna be a twat then be a twat Janis: don't come back trying to fix it Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay? Janis: good Jimmy: night then Janis: bye Jimmy: [should we do a skip here?] Janis: [probably lol, she won't start it again at this point unless he does] Jimmy: [he's likewise a stubborn bitch so should probably reconvene at community service lol] Janis: [good idea] Jimmy: [god knows how this convo gonna start up again, like probably with his idea for the flat whites but I don't have one] Janis: [my boo say hmm] Jimmy: [if we're saying the festival let's say he sends her deets for it] Janis: ? Janis: did you send that to the wrong person Jimmy: I have gotta send it to the rest of 'em but only if you say yeah Janis: What? Jimmy: it's the 🥇💡 I promised to deliver Jimmy: 💌✔ Jimmy: Keep up Janis: Oh Janis: Yeah, they'd probably be about that Janis: rich girls love slumming it Jimmy: You in then? Janis: Both days? Jimmy: Up to you that Janis: It'd be less of a #moment if you didn't offer the camping so, if we're gonna Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let 'em know then Janis: dig out the wellies Jimmy: [sends her screenshots of their hilarious responses] Janis: Oh, Christ Janis: at least there's plenty of 🕛 to fuck them over and make this torture worth it Jimmy: like I said 🥇💡 Janis: alright, not the worst you've ever had Janis: am gonna have to dig out a tent though Jimmy: can't help you there Jimmy: got a sleeping bag but nowt else Janis: I'll make it a 2-man and you'll have to deal Janis: not sharing with any of them Jimmy: I'll live Janis: so chuffed Jimmy: chuffed to hear it Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: alright Janis: [comes over like tah but doesn't say anything] Jimmy: [we know the drill he's gonna light it for her because does it without thinking at this point] Janis: [the awkward lingering on an exchange] Jimmy: [we're all just dying] Janis: [ahh the unspoken tension] Jimmy: [5ever a thing] Janis: [but esp. now] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [when you wanna break but can't think of anything worth breaking over so you must resist] Jimmy: [when silence comes too naturally for you and you think you're shit with words anyway so you just leave it] Janis: [ahh the joys, debating if to rush the cigarette to escape or drag it out so you at least have an excuse to be near each other] Jimmy: [we all know he'll shamelessly light another one cos that bitch, boy you seriously will never heal] Janis: [you gotta walk off girl] Jimmy: [gotta watch her go] Janis: how we getting there? Jimmy: Mia's broomstick? Janis: doubt it's got the weight capacity Janis: I'll float it, see who's parents will, I guess Jimmy: sure her daddy would 💕 to Janis: 'course Janis: but be a bit obvious if he asks to take me Janis: gonna need 2 cars and I doubt I'm making it into Mia's carriage, like Jimmy: her mum can drive the other one, make it a family reunion Janis: still a romantic Janis: his DMs shoulda shook that out of you Jimmy: I work in retail, unshakeable me Jimmy: 👀 and 👂 worse Janis: better give 💀👑 some coping tips whilst we're there then Janis: she's not okay 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭🖤🩸 Janis: Yeah, really bring that sincerity Jimmy: obvs Janis: is it though Jimmy: she ain't gonna give me any 🏆 and I wouldn't take 'em off her if she tried Jimmy: 💔 I know Janis: s'weird Jimmy: nowt about her ain't Jimmy: not news that Janis: I mean how little she tries to flirt with you to piss me off Janis: definitely thought that'd be her main strategy Jimmy: 🤢🤢 shut up Janis: Fair, how could you compete with Daddy? Janis: 😍 only man for her Jimmy: he is well fit Janis: I'm sure we'd all commit incest for him Jimmy: bit young for me but I'd still have a crack, only human, like Janis: duh Janis: sure she has a granddad you can ask after Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 Janis: more excited about this weekend by the second, aren't ya Jimmy: duh Jimmy: [coughs dramatically IRL but it's not fake he's just a mess who ain't looking after himself] Jimmy: might 💀💀💀 me Janis: sounds it Janis: not very cute, is it, babes Jimmy: her granddad might be about it, you don't know Jimmy: 🤞❤ Janis: I doubt he's into old blokes as well Jimmy: tah for pissing on my hopes and dreams Janis: just saying 💁 Janis: old people like to avoid thinking about their imminent 💀💀💀 Janis: not be reminded of it when you cough up a lung Jimmy: I were one, don't need telling Jimmy: 🤞 it does come out and I can chuck a more 🥇💪 one in Janis: yeah but you're one of a kind, so you like to remind me Janis: well I draw the line at organ donation so off you fuck Jimmy: might've been wrong at least once, again you don't know Jimmy: and I weren't asking for yours Jimmy: seen you 🚬 they'd be crap Janis: I know of plenty of times you've been wrong, if you really want the reminder, granddad Janis: you aren't in a position to be fussy, fuck you Jimmy: Bollocks do you Jimmy: and I can do what I like Janis: Psh Janis: sure can, long as it ain't too taxing on your lungs, eh Jimmy: funny Janis: don't need telling Jimmy: 'course you don't, bighead Jimmy: might have been trying to convince myself to 😂 Jimmy: you know so I don't 😭 Janis: not all that bad Jimmy: what's not? Janis: dunno Janis: was offering platitude Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I get it Janis: tats didn't text you back, yeah? Jimmy: he's yesterday's news, got a new girlfriend now, don't I? Jimmy: [let's say she checked he was alright when he coughed cos would've hurt and would make it awks haha] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: bringing that sincerity yourself, Jasmine Jimmy: well impressed Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: Why would I want owt? Janis: then don't comment Jimmy: you'd have to post something first Janis: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: thrilling as this all is Jimmy: yeah, go on Jimmy: off you fuck Janis: don't be rude Jimmy: don't hang about when you were about to do one just 'cause I said 👋 Janis: you're that type, alright Jimmy: call me what you like, babe Janis: no wonder you fit right in Janis: get a bird and you got no time for your mates Jimmy: I ain't got no mates, get it right Janis: is it any wonder Jimmy: that I don't want any? Jimmy: nah not living round here it's not Janis: people are cunts wherever you go Jimmy: ☀ today, you Jimmy: Tah for that Janis: We ain't friends Janis: try being less of a cunt and see what you get back from people, there's the silver-lining for you Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: [another dramatic coughing interlude] Janis: For God's sake Janis: go see a doctor Jimmy: You ain't my step mum yet Janis: you're doing my head in Jimmy: mutual that Janis: you can ignore me Janis: you're making a right performance out of this Jimmy: It's all for Bill's 👻 soz Janis: 'course it is Jimmy: got his 💰 on when it'll turn proper 💀💀💀 scene Janis: if you need to resort to winning sympathy already I'm glad I didn't give you no more than the 👍 Jimmy: there you go again, so funny you Janis: it's not funny Jimmy: my broken rib or how much it's doing your head in? either way 💔🎻 Janis: any of it Janis: [leaves the room/area they're in] Jimmy: [obvs gotta follow her even if he gets in trouble for doing it because priorities] Janis: [looking back like 'Jimmy, do not follow me right now'] Jimmy: [does though cos that bitch] Janis: ['I can't even push you so don't'] Jimmy: ['can do, got loads of other ribs to bust'] Janis: [a face like don't even joke] Jimmy: [a face like I'm not] Janis: [shakes head like that's a fucked up thing to say 'I don't wanna hurt you so leave me alone'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'I don't wanna leave you here'] Janis: ['I'm fine' absolutely not but you know] Jimmy: [shakes his head like that's the utter bollocks we know it is and sits] Janis: ['I'm just gonna go, I don't care' looking at the door like do I or nah] Jimmy: [gets up and stands in front of said door so she'd have to move him] Janis: [folding her arms like ugh really, but not making any eye contact right now] Jimmy: [just chilling in front of that door like it's so casual 'if you get in more trouble, I'll never see you'] Janis: ['I don't think they'll put me in prison for missing an afternoon' ah the #bants Jimmy: ['weren't what I said'] Janis: ['I know' pacing casually but not at all casually lol 'you aren't seeing me now so' shrugs] Jimmy: ['I wanna though'] Janis: [the grumpiest lil sad face that you try and make purely grumpy like you're #overit 'clearly not'] Jimmy: [comes over to her so he's right in that grumpy face 'I said, I want to'] Janis: [when you blurt out 'I won't kiss you if you're kissing her' like he did not ask but you're just like #triggered by how bad you clearly wanna when he's that close so then you had to hide under your hair] Jimmy: [very gently unfolds her arms and wraps his around her instead 'I'm not kissing anyone, dickhead' but saying dickhead like it's the biggest term of endearment ever rn] Janis: [we peeping like hmm? 'you wanna though'] Jimmy: ['I wanna kiss you, yeah' just moving her hair out of her face but not doing anything else because you think she doesn't want you to] Janis: [just slightly deer in the headlights whilst you process all this 'cos you don't wanna say anything else stupid/give yourself away harder 'promise?' and actual eye contact again] Jimmy: [looking at her like I PROMISE and we need the caps] Janis: [writes 'promise?' on his arm like tell me though please] Jimmy: [writes it on her without the ? cos he do] Janis: [SUCH a kiss moment bye] Jimmy: [picking her up slightly even though he's not meant to cos we're just in this moment] Janis: [when that does stop you and you put a hand to his ribs like 'I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like it's okay/I'm okay even though not strictly true] Janis: ['I was a dick though, it must be so annoying, waiting for it to heal'] Jimmy: [shrugs because he was a dick too and yeah it's annoying but there's nothing he can do, even though you could take better care of yourself boy we know it] Janis: [just rubbing it almost absentmindedly whilst you snuggle] Jimmy: [having a lovely soft snuggle moment] Janis: ['I missed you'] Jimmy: ['I missed you too'] Janis: [dramatic sigh but actual because this is all such a headfuck always] Jimmy: [just looking at her because heard it obvs they are so close rn and drawing a ? on her skin but I like to think it's somewhere like on her stomach or whatever so he's had to seek it out, maybe her own rib for that parallel] Janis: [breathing in like oh 'cos missed all of this 'I just- I don't-' pausing 'I like it better when we're friends'] Jimmy: ['we don't have to go back yet' because you think that's what she means and then a genuine smile when she says that because #same] Janis: [smiling back] Jimmy: [drawing a ☀ with a smiley face because your hand is still there from before so you might as well] Janis: ['you're cute' 'cos he is and kissing him again] Jimmy: ['you're-' and kissing her more so you don't have to finish that dangerous sentence] Janis: [get a bathroom or something you two] Jimmy: [honestly where even are you #rascals] Janis: [have some alone time either way, not gonna make you get back to work like that, so rude] Jimmy: [we're not that evil] Janis: [only sometimes] Jimmy: [an appropriate amount of evil] Janis: [soz to you community service girl 'cept I'm not at all really] Jimmy: [me either] Janis: [you could tell they came together i 👀 you] Jimmy: [and like even if she only has his 📷 IG there would still be loads of pics of her on there cos muse] Janis: [hussy lmao] Jimmy: [you're as blatant as the lads flirting with Janis] Janis: [giving you no more credit than them lady] Jimmy: [the balls to ask him on a date in the future when you KNOW] Janis: [you been knew] Janis: [shall we go back in or just skip to fest planning/pre vibes?] Jimmy: [I don't mind doing them going back if we can find shit to say because all the #content lol] Janis: [lol same, see what it do, just come out from whatever cupboard/bathroom/secret place you been then, so 😒 about it] Jimmy: [would they get in any trouble do you think? I don't know what the craic is at all #grandma] Janis: [right, so I basically think it's case by case because they could send you to an old people's home and barely check in on you so if the manager of wherever you are is lax then you'd get away with doing the minimum as long as they logged your hours, secondly, I think one thing they should do would be to 'fix' the damage at the school (so the school gets it done for free) but that should just be them and anyone else who got nabbed at the party, so I think when they're there whoever is overseeing would be more extra but maybe here you can get away with a bit more LONG ASS WAY OF SAYING I DON'T THINK THEY NEED TO lmao] Jimmy: [100% agree with that cos then we can do some shit with that too which'll be a different vibe cos like you said more supervised] Janis: [which is a drag but then this girl ain't there so you're shamelessly more happy with that lol] Jimmy: [yeah cos it might literally have just been them who got community service cos their party and they were shamelessly owning it] Janis: [exactly, maybe it's them and some professionals that the school made their 'rents pay for, hence they're more mad about the whole shebang] Jimmy: [Love that, Ian would be so fuming] Janis: [we know, bastard] Jimmy: [Anyway I'll do something to start this chat again lol] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: [does it IRL] Janis: all good Janis: you? Jimmy: [a half smile that's genuine af but we too 😎 to go too hard in case anyone else be 👀] Janis: [is 😍] Janis: 😏 alright, don't make me swoon onto concrete, like Jimmy: I get it, you don't want a #matching broken bone Jimmy: won't call you a part timer for it or owt Janis: just heavily imply it, yeah Janis: If I have to, rather it's for something 😎 tah Jimmy: Bill's 👻 is gonna be 💔 to overhear that Jimmy: What's 😎 than 💕😍? Janis: I'll 🖋 you both a list 💕 Janis: rather you'd broke something 'fore we came back in, wouldn't be mad about that Jimmy: We'll 🖋 you a sonnet, obvs Jimmy: sorta a one trick 🐴 him Jimmy: That's what we're gonna be doing tonight then? Jimmy: once the 🖋 runs out, like Janis: you're just SO arty, babe, can't be tamed by one medium Janis: once you've given yourself the tattoo, definitely Janis: pain for pain, like Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: Where do you want me to put it? Janis: you know that, don't do yourself down Janis: OHH you mean the 💘 Janis: can't ask you to ruin your face, neck tats have obviously been tainted, hmm 🤔 Jimmy: you can ask me for owt, you know that Janis: well, don't tell me that Jimmy: just did do Janis: I know Janis: but we only just came back in Jimmy: That's alright, loads we can still do Jimmy: never not got my 🖋 on me, for a start Janis: 'course Janis: 'til we decide where to put it permanently then Janis: [comes over and is looking expectantly like where's the pen then] Jimmy: [mimes taking it from behind her ear cos he's a NERD and then writes the beginning of a poem that just thought up cos #sonnet was promised on her skin with a fingertip, god knows how many words she'd be able to make out cos it's not easy lol] Janis: [cute ass concentration face trying to make it out 'cos you care what he gotta say but just loving how it feels most of all tbh, lifting his sleeve to give him a classic bicep tattoo moment with her fingertip that says 'talented' like 😏] Jimmy: [so 😍 and then trying not to 😳 when you work out what she's written cos always shy about it we know] Janis: [the lads are fully gonna be wheyying at this like the immature boys they is] Jimmy: [such fun I hope that girl has gone for a pee or a 🚬 because if you saw this you literally can't ask him out bitch] Janis: [that's what I'm saying, shameless, they came into this well 😍 even if there has been moments since, rude] Jimmy: [hate her] Janis: [you ain't the only one, but we not thinking about you rn thank you] Jimmy: [😒 at this annoying lads though] Janis: [honestly, you gotta ignore 'em as much as poss. though 'cos they'd just start shit for fun, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [went to school with so many lads like that] Janis: [hard same, you gotta hold your own or they'll bully you but don't rise to it either 'cos that's even funnier] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [you gotta go back to work though lads, calm down] Jimmy: [but also don't ever cos we love it] Janis: [all the #bants probably alerted whoever was meant to be supervising you though, so at least you can be so #starcrossed about it still] Janis: do you have to be so distracting Jimmy: Do you? Jimmy: If you have to then I obvs do an' all Jimmy: that competitive, me Janis: What a coincidence, me too Janis: guess we'll have to deal with it Jimmy: Take our 🏆🏆 and run? Janis: Worked the first time Jimmy: alright Jimmy: take your headstart then Janis: With your lungs? Janis: you need a good 10 on me Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: could beat you if I had the one Janis: Oh sweetie Jimmy: less 🗨 more 🏃 my dear Janis: waiting to watch you go, baby 😘 Jimmy: cute Jimmy: Where are we going in a bit? Janis: Where do you wanna go? Janis: shop for your festival ootd? Janis: get a wax and tan? Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but where do you wanna go? Janis: that's the real question Janis: could go pub, save your da's stash for a night Jimmy: we are gonna need it to sort this festival bollocks out Jimmy: [does the gun mime shooting her then himself] Janis: we can make it fun Janis: you piss on their tent when you're wasted Janis: I'll drop their shit in the mud by 'accident' Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: easy Janis: can get on stage end of last night for the suicide pact Janis: gotta make a final scene of it all Jimmy: Bill's gonna be well proud Jimmy: 🥇💡 baby Janis: what kind of leading lady? 💪🏆 Jimmy: You're alright Janis: At least Bill's proud of me Janis: ultimate Daddy Jimmy: What you starting a 👻🥊 for? Janis: Drama, darling Janis: love it, me Jimmy: You're meant to have me in on it not use it against me, girl Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Babe, you'll win so easy Janis: he wears tights, jussayin' Jimmy: might get distracted then Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 😂😂 Janis: idk how old he was when he died but technically hundreds of years old now, so Jimmy: 52 Janis: Your nerd is showing Jimmy: *😎 Janis: Sure, baby Janis: 'bout to break that bone rn Jimmy: [throws something at her as standard] Janis: Oi Janis: [throwing something back, of course] Jimmy: [playful nudge because we probably can't have a full play fight rn but] Janis: is it prison rules Janis: or can we ask what the rest are in for Jimmy: have a go Jimmy: you'll soon find out Janis: dick Janis: want me to get shiv'd, that's so mean 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'll obvs dive dramatically in the way of it Jimmy: 💀💀💀 for you any time Janis: it's not a bullet and I ain't sure I trust your reflexes but if you fuck it up you'll have to cradle me in your arms 'fore you get to off yourself Janis: Bill will like that Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 💕 Janis: be well bloody Janis: so hot, so welcome Janis: 💕 Jimmy: brb need a bit to calm down now before I can do owt Janis: solid excuse Janis: don't actually be fuckiing off without me though Janis: the rudest Jimmy: don't sound like nowt I would do Janis: You're alright Janis: can think of more times you've invited me than not so let you have it Jimmy: Tah very much Janis: thank me later and get the first round in Janis: then I'll know you mean it 😍 Jimmy: Alright Janis: just don't come for my generous 👑 Jimmy: it were mine first, I let you borrow it 'cause I'm that generous, but I'll have it back Janis: you're such a revisionist Jimmy: Oi, I ain't done revision a day in my life Jimmy: you 🤓 Janis: Go write your 👻🖋 biography, loser 😜 Jimmy: [writes an extra post so they can flirt on socials instead cos been a while] Janis: [it has and you need to get this lovey-dovey out your system or you're gonna say more than you should in a serious way rn lol] Jimmy: [that's the hottest tea] Janis: [like it is so soon but not yet bitches] Jimmy: [you gotta let us 🥛 it a bit please lads] Janis: [this is still moving at an extra rate like it's fine, you're still highkey] Jimmy: [school ain't even started back yet so yeah it is] Janis: [we all been knew but shh, pretend this is just sex like how remotely Jimmy: [in what world, we all see you being soft as] Janis: [Jimothy is too soft to do any less] Jimmy: [he is the anti-Mia he can never just hook up] Janis: [god bless, like you have but it was terrible so we don't wanna do that again fast] Jimmy: [I love my soft son] Janis: [we all do] Jimmy: [except Mia who never flirts with him] Janis: [because she loves her dad, she lowkey never flirts just gets boys like come on when it suits her purpose] Jimmy: [what a horrible thought] Janis: [isn't it just, like you consented so it fine but poor Pablo, not a mood not a moment, as much as any of your hookups are, I'm sure] Jimmy: [He's far too hot for her, as is Harold, not about it thank you] Janis: [lads like that don't have standards, like not gonna date you but will fuck you if you're offering] Jimmy: [we all know the type] Janis: [and that is not this cute egg] Jimmy: [they being adorable af rn on socials so deal with that Mia] Janis: [get ready for this festival experience ladies] Jimmy: [Grace would be 1000% trying to get out of going because she does not do camping honey] Janis: [they're all going to be such stereotypes, like being way overdressed, ending up in the med tent 'cos one of you faints or eats shit in the crowd, one of 'em getting schwasted and totally lost] Jimmy: [1000% having all of that happen] Jimmy: [one of them should also hook up with a lad who's with all his mates that they then can't get rid of cos always a thing like fuck off out of our tent please] Janis: [like on some girls then she's checking which one she hooked up with like is it the cute one or nah lol] Jimmy: [I'm gutted they took that iplayer cos I don't remember that but yes] Janis: [awh no, they like work the t-shirt stand for some reason for someone to get funds and they keep calling Viva boring so then she gets really high and they have to put her to bed and Holly gets off with one of the boys...they're all dressed like where's wally or something equally as bants] Jimmy: [I do remember them calling her boring now you've said it] Janis: [ahh, I liked that show] Jimmy: [same though and a rewatch would be #inspo if we can find it Janis: [how stupid Amber was is Asia, and they all wanted to fuck her dad lmao okay I'll find it] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna do here or do we wanna do the pub maybe?] Janis: [we can pub it, they being cute, all is well, its the vibe] Jimmy: [yaaas] Janis: [plan this moment and have moments lads] Jimmy: [she's still wearing his clothes and I'm living] Janis: [@ community service girl, could they be more obvious, I know they both covered in lovebites too 'cos always] Jimmy: [such a fat mood] Janis: [when you gonna have to go home to get this tent and undoubtedly have a massive row with your parentals wutwut] Jimmy: [can always make him come with if we wanna make it more awkward] Janis: [lol we should, also get grace to vouch for you like she's been hanging out with me/I'm going to the festival, not that Janis would let 'em stop her but they'll have to try] Jimmy: [I'm down and then he can stay there for a change so Cass will be mad at him before they even go to the festival lol] Janis: [soz babe, she'll take him away less when she knows the tea more] Jimmy: [soz you can't come babe but it's not a cool one like you're imagining] Janis: [imagine how much she'd die laughing at the flat whites but also wanna smack 'em] Jimmy: [she 100% has to meet more of them than just Asia who's the only one she has at this point, I'll say she comes to the CG at some point before he gets fired] Janis: [simply must, we make Grace babysit at some point but she'll probably keep out of her way lol] Jimmy: [she'll her 'bf' by then potentially so probably I'm so glad they get back together when they're older] Janis: [n'awh, jyler forever honey] Jimmy: [anyway he's getting the first drink in as promised] Janis: 👍 lad Jimmy: 😘 Janis: never needed this more Jimmy: more where it came from Janis: cheers for explaining how pubs work to me 😏 Jimmy: my pleasure, rich girl Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I meant I were good for more than the one round any road Janis: that a promise? Jimmy: Do you want it to be? Janis: What kind of question is that? Janis: Pisshead, according to yo Janis: u* Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: if 🍺 were what you meant Janis: I wasn't gonna order a cocktail Janis: don't reckon they do 'em beyond throwing all the spirits in and seeing what happens Janis: you're safe Jimmy: but you might be chatting shit about my stamina again Janis: that doesn't sound like something I'd do Janis: always hyping you up, mate Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're more than welcome to prove your stamina to me any time you like though Janis: just generous like that 💁 Jimmy: [obvs does starting by pulling her chair closer to him and then her into his lap when she is like oh hey] Janis: ['oh' 'cos not expecting that but 😏 about it 'cos favourite, just looking back at him like hey yourself] Jimmy: [actually says hey like a little nerd] Janis: [lols, with him not at him, taking a sip of her 🍺 like this is well casual, 'alright?'] Jimmy: [you know her cute laugh kills him so we gotta kiss her neck so she can't be noticing that he's really 😍 'you?' because he knows what he's doing with that saucy behavior] Janis: [another 'oh!' but with feeling, honey, shifting forward so you're even closer in his lap 'you know, pretty good' 'cos love a challenge moment esp. when you shouldn't] Jimmy: [challenge forever accepted gal cos he wasn't going that hard from the off so it's easy to go harder without having to do anything more extra yet seeing as how you just got here] Janis: [just enjoying this far too much, running your fingers through his hair at the back of his head 'you missed me, yeah?'] Jimmy: [going in on whichever bit of her neck/that general area she likes him to the most as an answer because obviously] Janis: [going in on him 'cos it's mutual obviously] Jimmy: [we living our best lives before we've even had a drink how cute] Janis: [how you get anything done is impressive lads, literally so distracted] Jimmy: [there's nobody else around to annoy you be that other community service kids or the peeps in charge so you can just be extra to your heart's content as long as you don't get thrown out this pub before you're done] Janis: [I'm sure you've picked a place they've seen worse, rebhogs that you are] Jimmy: [so deliberately mhmm] Janis: [when you don't wanna be bothered or run into anyone you might know/knows you] Jimmy: [#relatable] Janis: [so into each other, at least you don't really need to plan plan for this festival moment, we know what we're doing] Jimmy: [Let Mia stress, you guys are fine] Janis: [we all know they're all gonna bring too much shit and it's gonna be the wrong shit and that's half the fun honey] Jimmy: [imagine how much the flat whites have been chatting to each other like !!! since he invited them lol] Janis: [casual frenzy like the prep time you have not been given, the horror, lmao] Jimmy: [trying to keep it chill in the chat JJ are in but Asia keeps writing the wrong things in the wrong chat cos she's dumb] Janis: [oh Asia, how shaming, just peak amusement] Jimmy: [Mia's ready to kill her lol] Janis: [when your squad embarrasses you constantly but you have to keep people around that you can manipulate and feel better than so 🤷] Jimmy: [Oh gals] Janis: [I can see the glitter lewks now] Jimmy: [I will genuinely see if I can do some Grace snaps or something cos I'm sorting my folders cos pinterest will likely actually have some basic shit for me] Janis: [you'll have a field-day, deffo should] Jimmy: [Obvs I'll try and do JJ shit too but that'll be harder as per] Janis: [I have some outsidey pics of her so we'll give it a shot] Jimmy: [they can't keep us down] Janis: [you two cannot be tamed in any way, as is apparent rn and how quickly this devolved, good thing we didn't invite the gals to plan lmao] Jimmy: [we should do a planning session with them even if like we do a group chat moment like when we did the school project lol cos you're not invited to the pub ever ladies] Janis: [lol we should it'd be tricky but funny] Jimmy: [Even if we just do a Grace and Janis convo or something to ref it like] Janis: [I don't mind trying, we probably have to agree on their personalities so I don't mess up the ones I do] Jimmy: [lbr they are all pretty much the same but yeah] Janis: [yeah I think I been knew tbh] Jimmy: [I've only got Grace and Asia so far so you can decide who you want lol] Janis: I'll take #2 and Tammy, who both need actual names lol, then whoever wants to be evil can be Mia too] Jimmy: [I think you should cos I'm just a soft hufflepuff baby] Janis: [hohaha lil babby, okay I can do it] Jimmy: [love you boo] Janis: [you wanna do it before we do the festivals? just finish up here] Jimmy: [I think so because 'planning' which is basically just them being annoying and JJ regretting this idea but if we want we could skip around and do some shit in the group chat too when they're actually there for the lols] Janis: [okay, I shall print this 'cos we know what's up here probably...unless we wanna skip to when they go get the tent and the cali row 'cos that would be awkwarrrrd] Jimmy: [oh yeah I do wanna do that because hilarious] Janis: [I'm like do we wanna make him leave and her 'stay' like she won't stay but just to get him out the door 'cos don't want him around them and this whole vibe] Jimmy: [that makes sense] Janis: [you might have to come at me then 'cos she's just silently seething and hiding now] Jimmy: [Alright, what are we saying the vibe was when he left, like how did they leave things?] Janis: [assumedly Cali were like come here please and trying to talk to her and then that devolved into a shouting match so then she probably just came in like soz you gotta go and if he was like come with she was like nah 'cos too angry so] Jimmy: [let's say it's later because 1. they blatantly had that 'argument' and both needed to calm down and 2. it'd take him ages to get home and then would have to deal with his own fam when he has] Jimmy: [okay so he sends her a selfie so she knows he made it home and didn't get lost] Janis: 👍 Janis: didn't get murdered by a roaming serial killer then Jimmy: still time Janis: only if he breaks in, less chance of that Jimmy: ain't 🔒 in yet Janis: living dangerously Janis: very 😎🚬 Jimmy: 😎🚬 is right Janis: neither me nor your faulty lung is shocked Janis: soz if you were tryna get me on the ground again Jimmy: 💔 Janis: have one for me Jimmy: gutted I can't make the 🚬☁ into a 💔 for you an' all though Janis: Same Janis: thought you were talented Jimmy: you said I were Jimmy: have to cross out the 🖋💘 on my 💪 now Janis: match my name, gotta keep it #aesthetic Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: tell you what's ultimate goals, if you're still on side Janis: 💀💀 my parents for me Janis: won't turn on you when we get caught or anything, I promise 🤞💕 Jimmy: 💕😍😘 Jimmy: got nowt else on, why the fuck not? Janis: great, knew I kept you 'round for something Janis: I mean, ILY babes Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: proper felt that Janis: nothing but sincerity for you, honey 💕 Jimmy: expect nowt else Janis: know what they say about expectations Jimmy: Go on Janis: I dunno Janis: something about disappointment Jimmy: Tah for that Jimmy: I'll tune my 🎻 Janis: never said I was Bill Jimmy: never a truer word, mate Jimmy: there's only the one Janis: yeah and you 💕 him so much 'cos you're such a 🤓 Janis: I know, I'm cool with it Jimmy: Alright, shut up Jimmy: like I said, nowt else on, might as well do my homework Jimmy: take advantage of the 👻 who never pisses off Janis: maybe you remind him of his boyfriend Janis: idk if he had just the one Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: be a good report, all I'm thinking, everyone would leave you well alone after that Jimmy: I'll crack on with that then Janis: remember, gotta make 'em love you 'fore that though, make parting with you the sweetest of sorrow Jimmy: Obvs Janis: soz, forgot you're such a pro Janis: you can approve their hundred of outfit options for me, if you want Jimmy: Do you want that kind of fake boyfriend? Jimmy: telling you what you wear Janis: I know, be well hypocritical of you to judge anyone's style Jimmy: Piss off Janis: that's where the line is drawn, yeah? Jimmy: what line? Janis: THE line Janis: you're fit and mysterious, you should know Jimmy: that's more of a 🚬☁ around me Jimmy: I can draw you being a dickhead if you want though Jimmy: 🥇 inspiration being offered Janis: charming Jimmy: yeah you are, that's what I'm saying Janis: know what you're saying Janis: not thick Jimmy: you want a 🏆? Janis: sure Janis: can piss in it on this trip instead of risking the portaloos Jimmy: always 🤔 you Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: got talents beyond being a dickhead believe it or not Jimmy: ain't convinced but alright Janis: well now you're just wanting a 🏆 of your own Janis: good luck Jimmy: might drink outta mine, long as we don't get 'em mixed up Jimmy: not a #kinkunlocked Janis: 🤢 Janis: you're disgusting, boy Jimmy: I just said I weren't into it Jimmy: make me protest any harder and it'll sound like I am Janis: an animal Janis: ugh Janis: I'M NOT GONNA PEE ON YOU STOP ASKING OMG Jimmy: 😏 won't bother saying please then Janis: ugh, like maybe for our month-a-versary but you CANNOT tell anyone Jimmy: If it don't go on stories what's the point? Janis: exhibitionism is more of a given than a #kinkunlocked Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: love a bit of 👀👂 me Jimmy: full spotlight or nowt, tah Janis: such a ⭐ Janis: I draw the line at 💩 FOR REALS though Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know Janis: thank God it's all fake, right Jimmy: and near over Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: but I don't reckon me 🤢 on my homework'll fly as a decent excuse so stop being bloody grim please Janis: you that loves it, not me Janis: I'm just doing whatever you want to be the best gf ever, what is more relatable to the doormats Jimmy: we ain't doing relatable we're doing #aspirational babes Jimmy: I'm probably meant to be your doormat Janis: Mia would be about that, deffo Janis: not sure on the rest, their dominatrix vibe is not that strong Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: she's 👑 its her opinion that matters Janis: don't tell her that Janis: o out on the spot Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: mhmm Janis: had enough shit today without that smugness being thrown my way Jimmy: now that's #relatable Janis: voice of the people, me Jimmy: take your 🏆 Jimmy: can give her a smack with it when we get there Janis: hot Janis: use her blood for my motd Jimmy: I've got talents that don't begin and end with being a dickhead an' all Janis: I know, I've told you Janis: not rude like you Jimmy: you have your moments Janis: tah for the glowing review Janis: can I quote you? Jimmy: Where's the quote going? Janis: CV Janis: tell my 'rents, like Jimmy: I'll give you a better one then Janis: well don't lie Jimmy: Don't sound like me that Janis: only sometimes Jimmy: [writes her a silly and funny fake CV with little doodles and everything cos he's a BIG nerd] Janis: 😂 Janis: that's so Janis: definitely get me a job at CG Jimmy: were my plan all along Jimmy: take my job and I'll 👻 Janis: I'm alright with that Jimmy: Let's go then Jimmy: ready to walk through a wall right about now, me Janis: you know who's on shift or Jimmy: Don't have my 🖤 set on going there or owt Jimmy: just going Janis: where Janis: or is that an official 👻 secret Jimmy: Do I need a where? Janis: nah Janis: just nosy Jimmy: so you coming or what? Janis: I'm still in the same mood, you know Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: you finished your homework? Jimmy: that a dealbreaker? Janis: only fuck with 🤓s Jimmy: Alright, I won't tell you I was lying about doing owt Janis: s'alright, not been doing fuck all myself Jimmy: marding counts when you do it well as you Janis: fuck off Jimmy: just take the compliment Janis: it ain't a compliment Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: course it is Janis: you don't know, they're fucking nightmares Jimmy: I weren't offering them a 🏆 Jimmy: just you Janis: call me a 🙀 all you wanna but ain't in the mood for bullshit and pisstaking rn Jimmy: what are you in the mood for? Jimmy: Let's do that Janis: alright Janis: meet me here [gym location] in about fucking forever 'cos I've got to bus it there Jimmy: I'll take his car if you want, he's a fucking nightmare an' all Janis: as good as the mems in there are Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Alright Janis: I do have the tent to drop off at yours though Jimmy: if he keeps doing my head in, I'll want it Janis: What's today's 😡🤬 Mr. T? Jimmy: @ him Janis: you say you don't want me to be your step-mum Janis: always tryna hook us up though 👀🙄 Jimmy: nowt personal I just don't wanna 🗨 to him Janis: #relatable Jimmy: #fated Jimmy: me and you Janis: someone should write our story into like Janis: a play Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll crack on with while I'm waiting for your bus to bring you in Janis: you'll wait for me? Janis: baby Jimmy: You reckon I can find [location] on my own? Jimmy: need you to hold my hand Janis: shh don't make it #ungoals Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more like it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: can we fake one thing for real? Jimmy: What? Janis: pretend you never heard any of that back there, yeah? Janis: Sadly 'pretend I don't have a family' is just too unrealistic 😕 Jimmy: can't hear fuck all, me Jimmy: that your plan back then, were it? Janis: obviously Janis: you'd already had to hear enough from my sister, trying to do you a favour Jimmy: ✔ job done Janis: 👍 Janis: cheers then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [sends her a selfie of him already waiting at where the bus drops her like a little 🐕 cos wanted to leave his gaff] Janis: well that's just rude Janis: you aren't allowed to look that good when I'm not there to do something about it Jimmy: I told you before there's loads we can do Jimmy: just get your 🖋 Janis: I should've left with you Janis: you can have that in writing Jimmy: you can come back with me in a bit Janis: that's the only rule, isn't it Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: are you sure Jimmy: if you don't wanna, say that Janis: not what I said Janis: or wanna Jimmy: sorted then Janis: this time, you're not going to leave before I can make you feel good Jimmy: that's why I don't need asking if I'm sure Janis: you won't regret it Jimmy: I don't Janis: Me either Jimmy: good Janis: [sends him a pouty selfie from the bus like get me outta here now] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: Stop trying to 💀💀💀 me, I get a kiss first, ask Bill he'll tell you Janis: [cheeky video blowing him a kiss like there you go] Janis: if you and Bill can wait though, you'll get more Jimmy: Bill can do one, I got here ages ago Janis: 😏 Janis: alright, just for you Jimmy: and you Janis: me and you then Jimmy: [sends her a little video of him doing a smoke ring heart cos there are ways you can actually do it who knew and I like to think he's using his time wisely to figure out how] Janis: you're so hot it hurts though Janis: actually indecent Jimmy: That's you Janis: I want you so bad right now Jimmy: I don't want it to hurt though Janis: I don't mind Janis: I like it Jimmy: you're just Janis: tell me Jimmy: you're so fucking Jimmy: worth being stuck here for Janis: damn Janis: that was Jimmy: Everything's shit and I don't care 'cause there's barely room for owt but you in my head anyway Janis: I just wanna be with you all the time Janis: that's how much I think about you anyway Jimmy: be here when you want Jimmy: I've already chucked the rule out Janis: tempting Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: where'd you learn to say all the right things, like Jimmy: You're my muse, have a word with yourself Janis: Imagine if we'd never done this Janis: for real, no fake shit Jimmy: I don't wanna imagine that, tah Janis: Me either Janis: you were always good but you're a lot better when you're being you Jimmy: I said stop trying to 💀💀💀 me, didn't I? Janis: I'm sorry, just can't stop thinking about how much I regret not leaving with you Janis: which then makes me think about all the other things I regret about you Janis: like not fucking you for real a lot, lot sooner Jimmy: I get it, I do Janis: You better Jimmy: come on, you know there's shit even I can't fake Jimmy: no lad's that oscar worthy Janis: Good Janis: I'm sick of fake Jimmy: If you need me to show you again that it's not, you'll be able to feel it, no challenge Janis: there's no limit on how many times you can show me, is there Janis: bears repeating again and again, I reckon Jimmy: only limit's how much you can take so you tell me, girl Janis: Jesus Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: You can't be saying my name like that Jimmy: you'll get struck down by the other one Janis: I can't say it out loud right now Janis: but if that's how I go, not mad about it Jimmy: you're going nowhere but here yet Janis: oh Jimmy: How can I can get you to say it? Janis: say what Jimmy: you said you can't say my name out loud right now, thing is, I wanna hear it Janis: well Janis: maybe I could be convinced Jimmy: [🔥 sext of course because now is a good time] Janis: It hits different when you mean it Jimmy: not what I'm waiting to 👂 but I'll take it Janis: I can't give you what you want that easy Jimmy: Why? Janis: wouldn't be very 🥇 would it Jimmy: if I give you what you want an' all, what can be more 🥇 than that? Janis: but Janis: no, okay Janis: [that 🔥 audio] Jimmy: fuck Janis: yeah Janis: your fault Jimmy: if an apology is what you're after I'll give it my best 'cause I said owt you want but Janis: you know what I really want though Janis: or do I have to try harder Jimmy: you don't have to try Janis: I will though Jimmy: I know Janis: Good Jimmy: What I still dunno is how you're so Janis: You just Janis: make me want you Jimmy: there's nowt you could do to make me want you more than I do Jimmy: other than be here Janis: fuck this fucking bus Janis: I swear, next time I have to be on it you will be too and we'll make the most of just how long it takes Jimmy: got that in writing Janis: I'll write it all over you if you like Jimmy: 🤞? Janis: only if it inspires some great work of art from you too, obviously Jimmy: Alright Janis: 🤞 it won't feel like work Jimmy: never does Janis: I'll take that as a glowing review, yeah 😏 Jimmy: can do Jimmy: but I'll do better if that's what you want Janis: Fuck words Janis: I'm bad at 'em Janis: you'll show me Jimmy: You'll find the right words then Janis: 'cos I don't have to think then Janis: or stop myself Jimmy: there's no need to now Janis: 'course there is Jimmy: course there ain't Janis: you can't get me to make a dickhead of myself that easy Jimmy: weren't part of my plan Janis: what is the plan? Jimmy: you brought me here, don't you have your own? Janis: oh yeah Janis: I'd forgotten about that Jimmy: I get it, there's some other shit you'd rather do first since you said Janis: pretty much Janis: who knew there are ways to work out your frustration that aren't punching things? Jimmy: I could've told you but I'd be risking a smack Janis: not without the pads on Janis: not fucked off with you Jimmy: you were a bit ago Janis: come on Jimmy: What? Janis: you were just there Jimmy: yeah Janis: you don't want me to say the s word do you Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: dunno Jimmy: fuck words, weren't that what you just said? Jimmy: I don't need that one Janis: good Janis: weren't gonna say it but still want you to be there when I get there so Jimmy: not making it that easy for you to get rid Janis: don't Janis: I wanna keep you Janis: around Jimmy: you can't give it out like you're shit at words and then put them ones together for me Janis: something about you, makes me wish I was good Jimmy: You're good Janis: nah Jimmy: you heard me, I reckon you're good Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: am I gonna have to say your name again to get you speechless or what Jimmy: Dunno the answer to that until you do, do I? Janis: [sends audio saying his name all sexy but then tells him to 'shut the fuck up' deadpan for the lols] Jimmy: 👏 still on track for that oscar, babe Janis: I don't wanna be fake Jimmy: well, I don't believe you want me to shut up, so it's alright Janis: tell me something then Janis: truth for a truth Janis: but don't tell me you wanna fuck my sister 'cos I don't wanna hear it Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: What do you wanna hear then? Janis: that's all you've got to friggin' say, is it Janis: literally anything that's real, I don't care Jimmy: got loads to say, me Jimmy: known for it ain't I? Janis: go on Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit but alright Janis: you just need to make me feel not like a twat for the overshare Jimmy: this shouldn't be fake, nowt about that's an overshare Jimmy: you don't have to feel like a twat for saying what we both know Janis: I meant what I said about keeping you around Jimmy: and I meant when I said you're worth sticking around for Janis: yeah Janis: you did say that Janis: ignore me Janis: my head is fucked Jimmy: I can't ignore you, that's true if you still want something that is Janis: I can say sorry for that then Jimmy: don't though Janis: my family are insane, and everyone chats shit on me constantly, most of all Mia and co who you now know are literally psycho Janis: I'd have to really hate you to wanna put any of that on you Jimmy: Go on and hate me then Janis: you want me to? Jimmy: is it gonna mean we're in this together? Jimmy: 'cause there's nowt you just said that near enough don't apply to me an' all but I'm still sitting here and you said you wanted me to be Jimmy: things are alright how they are Jimmy: aren't they? Janis: I do, I wanna see you Janis: it's alright for me Janis: good Jimmy: so leave the sorry's out Janis: I'll never say sorry to you again Janis: how's that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'll say I hate you if it's a #kinkunlocked but I won't mean it Janis: soz 💁 Jimmy: can't let you even if it is Jimmy: you don't wanna be fake, I heard you Janis: next time Jimmy: you're gonna change your mind? Janis: next time it can be your choice Janis: fake as you like Jimmy: what makes you reckon I'll pick different to you? Janis: you implied you want me to say it Jimmy: Nah, I said I can handle all the bollocks you listed off Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: have plenty chance to show me in a sec Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: Are you actually nearly here or what? Janis: Yeah Janis: 5 minutes Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: can't count it as my personal best Janis: bus driver slowing me down Jimmy: 🎻💔💔🎻 Jimmy: must not be a follower, a proper #fan would NEVER Janis: might wanna follow me though Janis: get ready to defend my honour Jimmy: I'll get him on 📷 love giving a shout out, me Janis: name and shame, more like Jimmy: you alright? Janis: nothing I can't handle Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: weren't what I asked, bighead Janis: say your name is Jamie, if he asks Janis: 👀 like he heard your real one Jimmy: ask him his, got a lovely voice, me Jimmy: he'll soon forget owt else he might've heard Janis: 😂 Janis: stop Janis: already look certifiable here Jimmy: go on Jimmy: 💰 on it being 😍😍🤤 as names go Janis: Alright but this counts as a dare Jimmy: I get that you're gutted every dickhead don't wear a name tag, #kinkunlocked an' all, but it don't count as nowt unless he answers, mate Janis: 'scuse me I like ease of conversation, James Janis: not at all that I'm shamed and it's all your fault Janis: It's Rob Janis: Robbo to his mates Jimmy: [a hilarious voice memo for him] Jimmy: put that to his 👂 Jimmy: I could do with a decent mate Janis: fuck you cunt 😂 Janis: [sneaky filming this confused man's reaction, probably like please leave me alone oh kids] Jimmy: wonder why I'm scouting for new talent, mouth like that Jimmy: outrageous you Janis: oh, such an 😇 Janis: tell my 'rents and your dad that it was all me and my influence then Jimmy: Robbo is, god bless that beautiful man Jimmy: you can shut up though Janis: not getting off now Janis: drive on, Rob Janis: breaking my heart, you Jimmy: Baby Janis: Remember when I was the only mate you wanted 😢 Jimmy: it were a simpler time, before any of us were keen to ride off into the sunset with Rob Janis: say bye to you now then Janis: forever Jimmy: remember when you wanted to keep me about 😢😢 Janis: you did this, don't try to turn it around on me Janis: I'm devastated Janis: being consoled so much rn Jimmy: bit rude that you won't fight for me Jimmy: ruder for you that he won't do as good a job of that as I would Janis: Robbo is well hard, who am I to compete Janis: you reckon you can give it a go though, yeah? Jimmy: thought you were 🥇 that bollocks were it? Jimmy: and duh can give owt a go, me Janis: 🥇 at lots of shit, more than most Janis: 🥇 mate though? probs not Jimmy: just come here Jimmy: I rate you Jimmy: you're so Janis: [gets off the bus and full-on movie kiss runs to him] Jimmy: [SUCH an enthusiastic response soz to everyone else who's getting off that bus] Janis: [all the old people giving evils, has literally never cared less about anything] Jimmy: [they're used to getting evils from Mia, old ladies they are unfazed thank you] Janis: [thank god she doesn't take her stalking to that extreme yet] Jimmy: [never been on a bus in her life] Janis: [would make her mum drive them in to school but there's only room for 4 out of 5 so if you were out of favour that day you'd be fucked] Jimmy: [I hope Asia's bfs are old enough to drive cos you know it's her when she's got one] Janis: [🤞 they are 'cos aren't goals in other ways really god bless, she'd so use it as a power play like leave it 'til the last minute the night before so no one knows what they're doing] Jimmy: [she so would, oh Mia, we should 100% say her mum drives them to the festival and decide who we're gonna leave out lol] Janis: [who else should we rope in, like Cali or another parental?[ Jimmy: [we could always have Iggy do it with the van if Cali are being rude cos they don't love jimothy then Grace could come with them which would be so awks] Janis: [makes sense, Grace out of favour 'cos Janis is her sister, like, they can then take all the shit as well which Princess Mia would love] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought cos you know Grace is lowkey always like you don't even wanna fuck barista boy so can you chill out] Janis: [and Mia's just like they're just trying to make fools of us, your sister hates you, which like they are but you're just salty] Jimmy: [it true but it's not your place to play on all Grace's insecurities by telling her Janis don't love her, you hoe] Janis: [you don't know it's true you're just losing control and hate it] Jimmy: [Grace is still gonna have a better time in the van with that lot than she would with you and that's tea] Janis: [when your friendship so toxic] Jimmy: [literally just the fact she can like eat what she wants/ listen to what music she wants etc would make it better than being in Mia's car, the bar is so low rn] Janis: [pop off sis, we know they'll be happy to ignore you] Jimmy: [you can talk to whatever hot hippie gf Iggy's got currently it's fine] Janis: [like you probably should talk to her to keep this illusion going but you wouldn't wanna lmao] Jimmy: [we all know she's not expecting it/isn't gonna dob you in to Mia regardless so live your best lives kids] Janis: [we're distracted anyway, back to this] Jimmy: [we always get derailed] Janis: [what do we wanna do here, obvs going back to his after but is there anything we wanna say or do] Jimmy: [good question, we have covered quite a lot already tbf but I'm always down for keeping on cos no chill] Janis: [well you're clearly gonna need to have a moment in the changing room before but you can still have a spar moment after] Jimmy: [yasss, I have spar content from that mmfd scene if you want me to send you any] Janis: [why not sweaty, I hope the place is low-key empty 'cos the blatant sexual tension would be awks for dudes just tryna workout lol] Jimmy: [we can say it is because that was blatantly the last bus seeing as they had to have time to calm down post cali drama and they'd already had a day of community service and been to the pub prior] Janis: [not that you two really care but we'll allow it] Jimmy: [for the sake of not having an audience for once] Janis: [who knows how much alone time you can guarantee back at his] Jimmy: [I vote they sleep under/on the trampoline] Janis: [down, obvs] Jimmy: [slightly more privacy guaranteed though Twix will probably be high key as ever] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [also don't have to deal with Ian always a plus] Janis: [we're all thrilled about that, esp. with the cockblock train the 'rents are on rn] Jimmy: [oh my GOD imagine if he was driving them to the festival not that he ever would] Janis: [the worst car ride in the world lol] Jimmy: [as for rn do steal from his stash again though because very deserved] Janis: [absolutely, don't get drunk though, so dangerously close to saying how you feel] Jimmy: [evil laughing over here] Janis: [trickster] Jimmy: [for real though probably do wait for the festival for the drama] Janis: [love drama] Jimmy: [he should 100% teach her how to do smoke rings cos perfect time if they're sleeping outside] Janis: [yes he must] Jimmy: [and one of the ways to do a heart shape starts with blowing two different sized rings so they can do it together then #realgoals] Janis: [when that's such a moment] Jimmy: [living their best lives] Janis: [so in love tbh] Jimmy: [we 👀 you and so does Cass and she's not shipping it rn] Janis: [a good convo starting point 'is your sister alright? once she's gone from blatantly shading you lol] Jimmy: [just shrugging like you don't care even though we know you do] Janis: [shrugging back like alright 'if you let her cut my hair off in the night I'll be raging at you, like] Jimmy: [a lol that you can't help even though you're not in the mood] Janis: [nudges him like I get it '#1 sister, me' 😏] Jimmy: [just having a furious text convo with Cass so all y'all's secrets aren't outted 'sounds about right that' 😏 'easier or harder to get gold when you've got more than one?'] Janis: [shrugs 'depends how you slice it'] Jimmy: [mimes stabbing her in the back cos gals are bitches] Janis: [mimes pulling it back out and holding it to his throat 'obviously I'm alpha so' shrugs like that's gold 'but if it's majority rules' shrugs like idk] Jimmy: ['hot' shrugs again himself 'won't bother @ing any of your sisters then'] Janis: [a 😒 look 'shut up'] Jimmy: [draws a smiley face shaped mouth with his fingertip in the air right by her mouth and then a ✔ next to it] Janis: ['such a dickhead' but not actually mad about it] Jimmy: [nods because Cass is saying as much and worse lbr rn but sighs fake dramatically because can't show you're really bothered 'blessing and a curse, like' and a LOOK because we all know that he's saying that's what her type is and they wouldn't be here if not] Janis: [patting his head like poor boy 'til he gives you a LOOK then you're giving him one back but you're now needlessly close 'just sounds like a cure to me'] Janis: *curse Jimmy: [giving her a look like oh does it and uses her hair that Cass will thankfully not be cutting off to pull her further in for a kiss] Janis: [carrying on talking between kisses 'yeah, you're stuck with me as your only mate, what could be worse?' and then going harder like yeah, this is SO awful isn't it] Jimmy: [likewise 'but it's not like you're my best mate or owt' and going harder still] Janis: ['how do I make that happen again?' we just going more and more every time obvs] Jimmy: ['Depends' and again likewise of course 'How bad do you want it to?] Janis: [makes a noise that's enough like 'I-' that you can turn it into what you say but not enough like it that it isn't obvious to him 'cos shameless '-think I need time to think about that'] Jimmy: [stops and moves away like he's gonna get up off this trampoline and go in to leave her to think because that bitch 'Alright, see you in a bit, yeah?'] Janis: [does a mini winnie growl like oi] Jimmy: [looking at her in such an ott ? manner like he's so unaware of what could possibly be wrong] Janis: [pulling him back down and pinning him like 'you know'] Jimmy: [so into it, can't even keep the charade of trying to go anywhere/not knowing going because she's the hottest ever 'so tell me what you're thinking about'] Janis: [points at him like she's suddenly lost the ability to use words] Jimmy: ['go on' like please tell me more about this as if she's actually said anything but kissing her softly and distractingly everywhere cos that bitch] Janis: 'you' that resolve broke easily gal 'and how you're so-'] Jimmy: ['what?' because you have to but also you want her to finish that sentence really badly rn] Janis: ['I don't- I'm shit with words, remember'] Jimmy: ['I don't reckon you are, remember' and giving her even more kisses for encouragement but less soft because that's what we're all pretending we like] Janis: ['you're mine' and going the hardest to cover any doubt that you mean that anyway than sexually rn in the moment heheh ok] Jimmy: [going with it because questioning that is too dangerous and uncertain and you just don't wanna tbh not rn anyway plus we all know you'd LOVE hearing that so] Janis: [enjoy that lads, you can worry over it later] Jimmy: [which you so will] Janis: [on both counts, yes] Jimmy: [ILY you two] Janis: [at least you don't have too long to be awks and in the rn you can roll over like you're THAT tired] Jimmy: [doing that thing he always does where he rolls her back over like excuse you, looking at her like bit rude but amused not annoyed] Janis: [does a stage yawn like sorry, what? and attempts to roll away away on the trampoline like good day] Jimmy: ['don't fall off, you might break a bone an' all' jokingly still but a bit more like ?] Janis: ['psh' like how dare you, such a pro, does roll back a bit so it's less obvious you're actually uncomfortable] Jimmy: [just looking at her like are you really gonna make me ask what's wrong? because not an idiot] Janis: [shakes head to get self together, also to be like no/don't] Jimmy: [goes to make tea like that'll make her feel better cos that northern] Janis: [getting him to leave the 🚬s so you can have one] Jimmy: [lights it for her before he goes cos #whipped always] Janis: not smoking yours 🤞 Jimmy: convincing that were Janis: you might notice one missing if you count 'em Janis: clearing my name 'fore you do 😇 Jimmy: 1. you know I can't count, Jules Jimmy: 2. if there are any missing you won't get any 🍪 Janis: 🙀 Janis: that's cruel and unusual punishment Janis: don't presume my #kinkunlocked there thanks, I want 🍪🍪🍪 Jimmy: weren't challenging you to see how many you could fit in your mouth Jimmy: but alright Janis: 1. I could easily do double if not triple that Janis: 2. get your mind out the gutter Jimmy: If you keep being that hot, how can I? Jimmy: be fair Janis: I know Janis: gift and a curse Jimmy: #relatable Janis: only thing I want hot is my tea Janis: focus please Jimmy: oh shit Jimmy: you're gonna be so 💔💔💔 Janis: have you iced it??? Jimmy: the news is even worse Janis: well, don't keep me in suspense Jimmy: 🚫🍪!!! Janis: I'm leaving Janis: 👋 Jimmy: go via the shop or you ain't never coming back Janis: oh really Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: [comes out with the tea though] Janis: ['am I allowed to drink it before it gets cold or?'] Jimmy: [shrugs but is fully 😏 and hands it to her like there you go] Janis: [shakes her head like idk, you call this service but is also 😏] Jimmy: [hits his mug against hers to do a cheers, don't do a me and spill it all on yourself boy] Janis: [chin chin gals] Jimmy: [having that 🚬 he missed out on but sharing it with her if she wants because that bitch] Janis: [when you fake 😍 to cover actual 'cos he's just that cute] Jimmy: [giving them back because she's so beautiful it's honestly ridiculous] Janis: [pulling a dumb face as if that's gonna make either of you less 😍 really] Jimmy: [now we just having a face pulling contest because competitive forever] Janis: [a fat mood, ending up loling which wasn't the plan but not mad] Jimmy: [and more 😍 because so cute when they lol] Janis: ['bastard' softly and with feeling under your breath 'cos so affronted by his everything rn] Jimmy: ['what?' did he actually hear that or not, we'll never know baby] Janis: ['you heard'] Jimmy: [cups his ear like he so deaf] Janis: ['I'll finish the job if you ain't careful' 😏] Jimmy: [crosses his fingers IRL 😏] Janis: [gets up on his neck and traces a finger over his ear like, I'm deadly serious] Jimmy: [a lil noise cos #same] Janis: [obviously giving it your all at this] Jimmy: [obviously dying] Janis: [whispers right in his ear 'can you hear me now?'] Jimmy: [nods because what can we trust ourselves to say rn boy] Janis: ['good' smiling into his skin before doing more damage 'you're so fucking distracting, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [managing to say 'you' because must but you can imagine how his voice sounds thanks to her and everything she's up to] Janis: [shakes head and her hair probably tickles him, just tracing your finger down from his ear, down his neck and then along his shoulders, going back and forth 'it's you'] Jimmy: [playing with her hair but not as softly as he normally does because that's the #mood 'no it's not'] Janis: [clearly #intoit 'you aren't distracted, your attention is exactly where I want it' and a LOOK to prove her point] Jimmy: [LOOKING back at her because her attention is exactly where he wants it too obvs] Janis: ['I just wanna...' makeout moment] Jimmy: ['I just want you' picture kissing between each word because we highkey] Janis: ['shit' losing yourself in said moment] Jimmy: [keeping all the moments going as long as you can because you said what you said and you obvs meant it] Janis: [just gonna end up in the same position again girl, no point tryna be awkward about it tbh] Jimmy: [soz not soz] Janis: [neither's she] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna do though or should we chill before they give themselves away hardcore?] Janis: [have to actually exhaust themselves eventually, then they can be too busy going in the AM to talk or be real, we fine] Jimmy: [do what you've gotta do to avoid having THAT convo kids] Janis: [soon my babies, soon]

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Nancy: how's all the prep going? Rio: Oh my God Rio: it feels good to talk to someone over the age of 12, put it that way Rio: its getting there but I might not 🤪🥴😵 Nancy: same cos Buster's acting like a 5 year old rn Nancy: I wish I was there helping Rio: Travelling brings out the worst in 'em Rio: if I have to see an airport with mine this year, too soon 😬❌ Rio: we could use your 👀 Rio: I'm sure there will still be shit to do when you all get here Nancy: Did your dad convince your mum about a honeymoon though? Nancy: Asking cos I wanna steal you away for a while Nancy: When I get there I'm gonna have so many 📷 to set up and take but I'll definitely make time for any finishing touches there are Rio: 😘😘😘 Rio: s'more convincing nan and granddad that your parents and the rest will help out controlling the masses whilst they're off 🎔☽ Rio: a reason we can NEVER find a babysitter 🙄 Nancy: Oh come on! If my mum gets involved they'll be perfect 😇s Rio: 😂 Rio: I'd be happy to test the theory Rio: going to be so good to see you again! Nancy: Me too if it'd get her off my back 🙄 Nancy: I've missed you so much! Rio: Uh-oh, what's the latest crusade with her? Rio: Girl, same! So much catching up Nancy: Who can keep track? This week it's something about how I spend too much time in my room Nancy: Like doesn't she realise I don't sleep in a cell? I have everything I need Rio: Right? Rio: At least we're past grounding, was such a laughable punishment when its not the 50s or something, please Nancy: malted milkshakes and jukeboxes yes, the rest of the 50s, no Rio: But you'd look so fetching in a circle skirt 😉 Rio: what are you wearing though Rio: I've been so busy making sure the kids are actually clothed that I'm not remotely ready, ugh Nancy: Also less likely to be hatecrimed when it's just gals being pals 😉 Nancy: [a pic of her outfit cos we don't have one yet gang] Nancy: oh my god if you're not joking dad better start speeding! You really need my help ASAP Rio: Don't rub it in, or I'll be at the back of the bus heckling you Rio: me and all MY #sistas Rio: 😍 you look so good, I'll ignore your white feminism if you tell him to step on it Nancy: 😳 x 10000 like Nancy: But I'll demand it Rio: 🧡 Rio: Its a mood, catch me stealthing down the aisle at the back, please, steal the show, kids Nancy: 💚 Nancy: Honestly I feel nervous & I don't have to do the walk/nobody's gonna be looking at me Rio: Awh, don't be Rio: Honestly, everything is so extra, no one will know where to look Rio: you know them Nancy: I was safe to assume that Junie isn't answering me cos he's 😳 x 10000000 then, yeah? Rio: No doubt Rio: I can't even find him to tell him to reply Rio: if I spot him Nancy: It's fine I'll see him soon anyway Rio: God bless him Nancy: I need out of this car now & away from all of them Rio: I can feel the tension from here, babe Nancy: If he spends another sec on speaker talking to his friends about last night's party I will have to throw his phone out of the window Rio: Eww Rio: your brother is 1000% gonna be THAT businessman on the train that wants everyone to hear his convo Nancy: I know Rio: then pops a few blood vessels when someone tells him otherwise Rio: you poor thing, forreal Nancy: He got into a fight at the party over some girl 🙄 But of course the other lad was the only one hurt Nancy: How am I related to this idiot? Rio: How have your parents not turned the car around or at least threatened to Nancy: He doesn't wanna come which means he is, no matter what Nancy: Even if he was 🤕 Rio: Also do you live in Chelsea or a bad American teen drama Rio: the dramatics 😂 Nancy: Right? But it's me getting lectured by my mother regularly Nancy: your favouritism is showing again Rio: We all like you better, don't worry babe Nancy: thanks Nancy: if your parents wanna adopt me, now is good Rio: What's one more is pratically the family motto so why not Rio: you'll have to miss all the WILD parties and the even wilder bants Rio: reckon you'll survive? Nancy: just about Rio: Be honest Rio: if I go to town right now, what are the odds of the kids staying semi-presentable? Nancy: It'd be single figures Nancy: like 5% maybe Rio: Yeah Rio: but even less chance of me getting something wearable if I ask my boy to bring something with him, right? Nancy: Unless he's very fashion forward Nancy: You could tell him to go to ours and raid my wardrobe? Rio: Such a humblebrag, Nancy McKenna 😏 Nancy: If you don't want my advice or designer labels, don't ask, like Rio: 😂 Rio: how is it possible I have nothing suitable in my whole ass wardrobe Nancy: This family has had a surprisingly few weddings in our lifetime Nancy: & there's no chance of you re-purposing what you wore to my parents' big day all those years ago so Nancy: I'll make a detour and pick something up for you Nancy: if you trust me Rio: The amount of sin is truly unholy Rio: my grandma be 😠 at all these heathens Rio: and that feels like forever ago Rio: dread to think what I was rocking but at least I was cute Nancy: So 😢 I couldn't bring a date to meet your grandma she sounds lovely Nancy: [finds a pic of the baze wedding like] Nancy: you were the cutest! Look! Rio: Love the sinner, hate the sin, sweetie 😘 Rio: Oh lord Nancy: Says you but what happened to ME? Nancy: I'm like a different person rn and it's not a glow up Rio: Shh, you look beautiful, are you kidding Nancy: I look like my parents are into medieval torture & put me on a rack Nancy: not cute Rio: Oh 'cos being tall is so unappealing Rio: all those leggy supermodels, YUCK Nancy: 😂 Rio: Anyone saying different is obviously jealous Nancy: How very teen drama Nancy: the girl who hates me really loves me 💋 Rio: better start loudly talking about that Rio: your 'rents will be so proud Nancy: They aren't likely to hear me over Buster's dramatic playlist 🎶 Rio: Now you're just making shit up 😂 Nancy: [records him as proof hey boy hey looking like a moody fuckboy snack over there no doubt] Rio: He really did just look at the window like a music video, huh Rio: also praying you make it here unmurdered now, girl 🙏🤞 Nancy: He wouldn't dare start a fight with us in our finery 👗👠 mum & dad would kill him Nancy: or I could with the 👠 Rio: Gotta stay favourite, yeah Nancy: definitely Rio: catch me being no ones 'cos I'm not coming Rio: see you tomorrow, like 👋 Nancy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo Nancy: you have to Nancy: don't leave me with my evil twin Rio: 😩 but Rio: so over this before its begun Nancy: please Ri Nancy: I'll make it fun somehow Rio: There's no escape anyhow Rio: so many people here already just 👀 @ me Rio: I'm not putting on a fucking poofy dress I'm sorry Nancy: you don't have to Nancy: bridesmaid but keep it fashion Rio: I tried on some actual bridesmaid dresses but I felt so stupid Rio: why is it all floor-length and fucking Rio: the excess material Rio: I don't wanna drown in tulle, I'm not 5 Nancy: gross Nancy: I promise to never get married first of all Nancy: second of all I'm gonna make sure you look 🔥 today so Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: I've got to start on the drinks now though, sorry Nancy: show me what's in your wardrobe & I'll try & remember what's in mine Rio: I love you but you remember what I said about floor-length? Nancy: okay okay just yours then Nancy: come on, I can do this Rio: [does] Rio: but honestly, fuck it Nancy: there's so much I could make work Nancy: & no reason for us both to hate our outfits Rio: I won't hate it, I'll just be hated Rio: mainly by my grandma 💁 Nancy: as soon as Buster arrives his attitude will pull focus Nancy: plenty to keep your grandma busy in this car Rio: He'd never be that nice to me Rio: even unintentionally Nancy: I will then Nancy: thinking of a scene to cause as we speak Rio: 😏 Rio: such a shame there'll be no hot girls there you aren't related to 💔 Nancy: if only hitchhikers were still a thing Rio: So predatory for a 13 year old Rio: flip that script honey Nancy: it's the lesbian way Nancy: ask every girl at my school Rio: Ugh, turning their backs in the changing room is it? Rio: like half of 'em have got anything to hide, people are ridiculous Nancy: Yeah Rio: Its more than that then Nancy: It's not a story for today Rio: Later Rio: when you've caught up Nancy: when I've taken my make up off maybe Nancy: it took a really long time Rio: it looks 🔥 Nancy: it's not too much, right? You'd tell me Rio: Of course Rio: but it so isn't, its great Nancy: thanks Nancy: a benefit of doing it in February, our faces won't melt off & I'm not sunburnt Rio: They've thought of you at least Rio: love that Nancy: I'll try & remember to thank them too, like Rio: Thank whichever God made you gay too Rio: boys are such dicks Nancy: I got stuck with a brother so I'd still suffer Nancy: probably won't 🙏 Rio: Well you can ignore him Rio: sure you both prefer it that way Nancy: You can ignore any boys you want Nancy: or don't want Rio: Nah Rio: not when I'm this hard to ignore yeah Nancy: all the more reason Nancy: when you look like you look you can take your pick Rio: I already have, that's what I'm saying Nancy: & they're still dicks? Rio: He is Nancy: So dump him Nancy: there must be some boys in existence who aren't Rio: Eh Rio: None as cute Nancy: Gross Rio: Shut up 🙄 Nancy: if you wanna talk about boys you've come to the wrong place Rio: excuse me Rio: you've literally talked about your hitchhiker fantasy so you can deal with it Nancy: I don't have a fantasy I was trying to think of a diversion to horrify your grandma Rio: Sure Nancy: It's a shame Buster would never swap outfits with me Nancy: a move like that really would pull focus from what you're wearing Rio: I hate to break it to you but not really Rio: already got so many chicks in suits Rio: you know this is MY parents wedding, not yours Nancy: but how many boys in dresses do you have? Rio: I'll check Rio: my parents have weird friends, babe Rio: and have you met my siblings like Rio: your the normie branch of the fam, no amount of lesbian angst is changing that for you, I'm so sorry Nancy: at least they have friends, mine have co-dependence Nancy: and yeah, I'm trying to get adopted in, remember? Rio: 😍 romantic Rio: we'll swap Rio: I need the break Nancy: you and Buster would kill each other in seconds Nancy: but if you can survive long enough to end him I support it Rio: Duh Nancy: I've heard 'you should see the other guy' enough to be sure it's bullshit Nancy: you can take him Rio: I know Rio: trust me Nancy: he hasn't lost a 🥊 for ages it's way past due Rio: Weddings always end in a scrap Rio: may as well take it for the team honestly Nancy: fights & drunken displays happen whenever this family gets together Nancy: again, take your pick Rio: I'm not drunk but tah for the faith, babe Nancy: it's early still Rio: 😒 Nancy: they are all driving me to drink & I don't even Rio: Slainte Nancy: exactly Rio: Fuck it, I'm going town Nancy: do you have time? Rio: Sure Nancy: Then yeah go Rio: ✌ see you when you get here Nancy: I'll find you as soon as we show up Rio: Do Rio: I'll be the bombshell Nancy: I'll be the awkward ginger Nancy: 💚💋 Rio: 🧡💋

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Back in time? Jimmy: he ain't even back yet Jimmy: I'm fucked off beyond belief Janis: 'Course he ain't Janis: 😑 Jimmy: good thing I am 'cause there weren't nowt for Cass to make for tea but don't worry dad Janis: What a prick Janis: so little satisfaction in sorting it and being the perfect son when he's not even gonna be sorry/care Jimmy: least I can win big brother points Janis: 👍 Janis: What really counts tbh Jimmy: I've sent her for chips and whatever else she can get her grubbies on so 🥇 Jimmy: what you doing? Janis: Nice one Janis: Not a whole lot, still chilling down in the barn 'cos know I'll have to chat to someone about some irrelevant shit if I go in Jimmy: it is decent in there but it's shit that you aren't here Jimmy: 'cause you could be & that's what pisses me off Janis: I know, wish I was Janis: could go for some chips right now, like Jimmy: get a lift? Jimmy: your massive family gotta have some uses Janis: 😏 Not totally about the chips, babe Janis: am hungry though Jimmy: I'll get you different food if it's a dealbreaker Jimmy: you know you wanna watch a 12 & 6 year old fight over the remote Jimmy: like they ain't been inside all day Janis: Bless 'em Janis: Better than having to watch a 15 & 16 year old though like, go in a different room you privileged fucks, you really need the 'big' TV #exposed #thankslads Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna have to take 'em to the park or whatever tomorrow 'cause it's bollocks Jimmy: that's your invite Jimmy: help me milk my sickie Jimmy: fuck knows when I'll get a full day off again Janis: Sure, long as my lady love's got hers too, like Jimmy: she won't leave me alone so yeah Jimmy: must smell like you or summat Janis: 😍 Janis: least she weren't there to watch, she woulda defs gone for you #nohope Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the audience you really want Janis: nah, get enough of that with the cats lurking like creepy fucks Jimmy: if you noticed them hanging 'bout then 💔 'cause I was clearly shit at keeping your attention Jimmy: gutted Janis: I didn't Janis: You know you weren't Jimmy: I know you weren't Janis: 😳 Jimmy: think of somewhere you wanna go tomorrow, yeah? Jimmy: fun shit Jimmy: even if it ain't #goals Janis: I'll think on Janis: What kinda shit are the kiddos about? Jimmy: whinging Jimmy: nah but for real Cass is into all kinds of shit as long as it ain't the kind of shit your sister likes Jimmy: easy pickings for you there Janis: What about Malahide? they've got the castle and all that but if that ain't up to scratch, day at the beach Janis: even I wouldn't complain, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that's actually a really decent idea Jimmy: I should have enough money for the train knocking 'bout Janis: If you like, I can cadge a life from one of my not-as-shit siblings, literally quadruple the time on the train, which is alright if we gotta but if we don't, result Jimmy: I wouldn't complain Jimmy: the dog'll be enough of a nightmare as is Janis: Poor baby Janis: she can sit on my lap Jimmy: if you sit on mine she ain't Jimmy: not her fault she's never been nowhere though Janis: firstly 😍 Janis: secondly, it don't matter if she's badly behave, my brother will take us in his hippie van so she can walk about more Janis: hopefully the kids don't get a contact high like soz but it'll chill 'em out so 🤷 Jimmy: least he won't be a brother I have to worry about fighting me then Janis: 😂 God no Janis: none of my brothers are harder than me and that's that on that Janis: he might chat to you on some weird shit you have no interest in but that's about your lot, it'll be fine Jimmy: firstly 😍 & secondly also 😍😍 Jimmy: stop being hot & not here it's a bit rude Janis: I know, right? Janis: Take it up with your Dad tbh but don't 'cos bigger sins and 🖕 Jimmy: any chance your brother can also bring you here now? Janis: So Igs, I have a dick appointment... Janis: 😏 Jimmy: if he's chill he's chill, yeah Jimmy: don't make the rules Janis: If you want me DOA 'cos shame 😳 Jimmy: You won't remember it in a bit Janis: So tempting Jimmy: so be tempted Jimmy: go on Janis: You just left Janis: but I've not stopped thinking about you Jimmy: alright then come back Jimmy: I'm thinking about you right now Janis: Fuck...okay but I can fully hide in your room if your Dad comes back, yeah? Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: he don't matter Janis: I don't wanna get you in trouble though, actual trouble Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: if he wants to start shit that's him Janis: Okay, coming over Janis: track someone down to tell I'm still alive, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I need to shower do you want me to wait for you so we can do it together? Janis: Wait Janis: I want that Jimmy: doing my bit for the water bill Jimmy: my dad can't say shit Janis: Definitely start your argument there, babe Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't wanna talk to him but if I gotta Janis: Well he's the one that fucked up today so what's he gonna say really Jimmy: 🙄 loads probably Janis: 😒 Janis: I'm gonna distract you though Jimmy: you'll get through the door see the 🐶 and only have eyes for her Janis: I mean, she is pretty demanding but nah Janis: you got my full attention right now Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want it Janis: Thank fuck Janis: be awkward if you didn't now Jimmy: I did reckon that maybe I'd get it out of my system and be like Janet who? but Jimmy: I weren't ready to go yet Janis: 😑 Janis: Got a day or so left in us then you reckon? Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: if you don't take me somewhere shit tomorrow I'll give you another day, only fair Janis: 👍 oh tah Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: for real though, it made me want you more Jimmy: that's weird, isn't it? Janis: is it? Jimmy: I didn't reckon I could Jimmy: but you were just Janis: I'm glad I didn't disappoint Janis: 'cos I want more of you too Jimmy: piss off would you Jimmy: not to be all 😍 but 😍 Janis: 💪 Janis: 'course not Jimmy: You know what you were & it weren't disappointing Janis: You're cute Jimmy: alright shut up Janis: Nah Janis: gonna have to wait and make me cutie Jimmy: you're gonna make me 😳 Jimmy: stop Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: how long can I let my sister be out getting food before I reckon she's been snatched? asking for a friend Janis: I think you've got a while yet Janis: I'll let you know when you can worry Janis: got her phone, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: glued to it more than we are Janis: practically born with one these days Jimmy: can't blame her she had loads of mates back home Janis: yeah, must miss them loads Janis: least it ain't too hard to get back, when she's a bit older, like Jimmy: fuck knows where any of us will be this time next week the way my dad carries on Jimmy: he's gotta be with someone right now 'cause he ain't here Janis: true Janis: most likely, coulda at the literal least text Jimmy: I know he ain't got loads of mates Jimmy: must be busy, don't wanna think about it 'cause how ungoals Jimmy: what's the opposite of 😍 Janis: 🤢 Janis: Basically Janis: doesn't put me in the mood either don't worry Jimmy: I take back what I said before, that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me 💕 Jimmy: save me from the repeated history Janis: 😂 Janis: I can tell you all about how unattractive I find him if that works, easy Jimmy: don't think 'bout him if it's such a turn off, only gives me more work to do Janis: Don't be a slacker, babe 😏 Jimmy: never even faked it Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll allow it Janis: I felt it Jimmy: I still feel it Jimmy: you Janis: You're killing me Jimmy: I don't wanna make it weird but Janis: ? Jimmy: I don't know just Jimmy: it's not been like that for me before Jimmy: all the 'shade' to my ex maybe Janis: I feel it too Janis: so not weird, just us usual at this point Jimmy: I really can't stop thinking about you, I know I already said it Janis: I know, I seriously can't Janis: and like Janis: give a shit about judgment that ain't why I'm saying it Janis: but I don't do things like this, this quick, usually, you know but I just Janis: wanted to so bad Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me either, for all my chat Janis: Yeah? Janis: makes me feel better, like, it was happening regardless but I was a bit worried you'd notice Jimmy: there have been other girls, scattered about but I've only had the one girlfriend Jimmy: & you know how that went Janis: Yeah Janis: can't help being so youthful Jimmy: & we were mates first for ages it wasn't like this Janis: Makes sense Janis: I'm a casual billy no mates as well all know though so 🤷 Jimmy: me too Jimmy: we did try and be mates after but it never quite happened Jimmy: Barry's #influence Janis: Jealous type? Jimmy: not that simple but let's say it is Janis: Fair enough Jimmy: there was just a lot of shit happening & not Jimmy: for all of us Jimmy: how fucking cryptic, am I a paddy now or what? Janis: 🍀 getting so acclimatized babe Janis: but seriously, you don't owe me nothing if you don't wanna talk on shit, it's cool Jimmy: I know Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: easy to talk to? or I like it whatever Janis: I like talking to you and all Janis: I know I don't say loads (or do I? #chatty) but I barely talk to my own fam never mind anyone else so believe me like Janis: you're honoured, is what I'm saying Jimmy: can't get a word in, can you? Jimmy: I'm that dickhead Jimmy: I don't know it's like rule 1 of this new roof is there was no before & alright but Jimmy: there was Janis: Nah, if you were you'd be too much like my Sister and there's no way I'd have even fake kissed you never mind really fucked you Janis: sometimes you wanna talk about that shit Janis: it don't always stay before, good or bad Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 like Jimmy: I'm shutting up now Jimmy: Take a turn, girl Janis: You don't have to but alright Janis: what you wanna know Jimmy: only what you wanna tell me Jimmy: I'm not here to dig Janis: hmm Janis: okay Janis: don't be weird, yeah, usual rules Jimmy: 👌 Janis: It's weird because I didn't want to tell anyone about it or talk about it before but now it's happened I kinda do but also, there's still no one I would wanna but you really so Janis: that was my first time, like, proper sex Jimmy: well now I'm glad I didn't disappoint Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I'd have never have reckoned that Janis: That was the plan Janis: to not let on, not 'cos I don't trust you or nothing but idk, why make it a big deal but Janis: there you go Jimmy: you could've told me Jimmy: I probably wouldn't do anything different 'cause you know Jimmy: but I don't know, I'm just saying, you can tell me shit from now on if you want Janis: I don't know, people get in your head about that shit, don't they, like everyone says first times are crap but if you didn't know then you wouldn't be different and it didn't have to be Janis: and it really weren't Janis: so, thanks, yeah? 😉 Jimmy: Goddamn it, Jillian, stop trying to make me fall in love with you Jimmy: how do you take your first time at anything and just fucking 🥇 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: You ain't mad about it Janis: team, remember Jimmy: I'm like in #awe Janis: Shh 😌 Jimmy: sort of wish I could tell everyone so I could big you up how you deserve Jimmy: won't though Janis: People reckon they know anyway 'cos obviously if some dickhead from School ain't bragging about swiping my Vs to everyone it couldn't have happened Janis: dunno how #goals everyone would rate that but I appreciate Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: it'd get twisted so like I said, I won't but 🥇 seriously Janis: 😍 Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: Under 10 minutes Jimmy: Cass is back, I'll fight her for your share of food Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: get a boyfriend who'd smack down a 12 year old girl he's related to for you Janis: 😂 Janis: My hero, truly Jimmy: I don't even know how you like your chips Jimmy: probably some weird way Janis: Lemme guess, gravy Jimmy: say something snide, you can't Jimmy: it's good Janis: 😏 just that you're an absolute stereotype Janis: but I seriously ain't fussy, when you've got a Dad who insists on doing needlessly fancy shit to everything, it's good to just have some straight up junk Jimmy: peas are good too Jimmy: there's loads of shit here anyway Jimmy: remind me not to give my sister money again Janis: 💸💸💸 Janis: I'll try it your way, impress me, boy Jimmy: if I don't with the food, I'll do it after Janis: You better Jimmy: have I been all chat even once? nah Janis: that's why I like you Janis: no bullshit Jimmy: so you can believe me when I say shit first time is a myth but it does get better the more you do it Janis: I will, even if that sounds like a ploy to get me to fuck you more Janis: not mad Jimmy: maybe it is Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but I still think we can make it true too Janis: 'course we can Janis: as long as I wasn't awful, hence I had to check before or you'd feel like you had to be nice, like Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: you got the right boy? Janis: If I ain't don't tell him Janis: you sound hot Jimmy: [sends selfie] I am Jimmy: you have kissed lads before though? you're not gonna tell me that you just smashed that 🥇 too, are you? Janis: DAMN Janis: better make that my phone background asap 'cos #boydonegood Janis: nah, I've kissed lads Janis: not loads and like I said, it sucked every time but Jimmy: thank feck for that Jimmy: not that it sucked but they exist Janis: Why? Janis: Can't deal with me being THAT good? 😏 Jimmy: nah I can't Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm glad I had though or I might not have agreed to our deal Janis: I felt nothing but I knew they liked it, so it'd be alright Jimmy: did they ALL fall for you or just me? Janis: One of them unlikely as he's a massive prick who's rode every girl in his School and most at ours Janis: then the other was a kid in Brazil because we always go back to where my Dad's fam is from so I saw him a lot when we used to go back more Janis: maybe but you know, years ago now Jimmy: he so did Jimmy: just thinking about kissing you Jimmy: you know what it makes me feel like Janis: Tell me though Jimmy: I don't even know how to Jimmy: it just sounds like bollocks but its not Janis: I believe you Jimmy: I wish we could stay in all day tomorrow Jimmy: but I can't be that dickhead Janis: We've got time Janis: however long we wanna Janis: not going anywhere yet Jimmy: I believe you Janis: Good Janis: You're making this holiday bearable, hell, this fucking town right now Jimmy: I don't have to say likewise Jimmy: even before when it was meant to be only fake bearable Janis: Yeah Janis: You're just better than everyone else here, that's facts regardlesss of what we're doing Janis: I should've found that out sooner but whatever Jimmy: like you said, we've got time Jimmy: when you get here stay outside for a bit, I know it's probably gonna piss down but I want Jimmy: I wanna just be alone without kids and fucking dogs & dads that might appear or not whenever Janis: Okay Janis: I want that too Janis: we're showering anyway Jimmy: & I'll keep your chips warm for you, I'm not an animal Janis: 💕 Jimmy: gimme a phone background Janis: [Cute selfie which we should defs find for each other 'cos yas] Jimmy: 👌 now I really wanna be alone Jimmy: so what you've just been walking around looking like that? bit rude Janis: Who do I think I am, honestly? Janis: Getting off the bus though, if you see me, don't let me go to the wrong house for a laugh, tah Jimmy: Hang on, what's your name again, Jasmine Canvas? summat like that Janis: 🙄 you wish, art hoe Jimmy: me? yeah alright Jimmy: you & your flair Janis: I won't apologise for being #inspired Janis: get you some concealer from gracie if CG gets mad about it Jimmy: I won't say soz for how much I've touched it since Jimmy: or cover it up for them dickheads Jimmy: what did you say before? Can't censor #art Janis: When it fades I'll give you another one Janis: so you remember just how much I want you Jimmy: I'm not gonna let myself forget Jimmy: or you Janis: I don't plan on letting you either Janis: but giving you one every time we screw might be a bit excessive Janis: don't wanna leave you that sore, poor boy Jimmy: just cover me tonight it's not gonna be topless weather at the beach even if I am that northern Janis: How can I refuse such an offer? 😍 Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: but I don't want you to Jimmy: I just want you until we have to crash Janis: Give me some too? Janis: I like them Jimmy: how can I refuse? not gonna Janis: You're fun Janis: and hot Janis: I really really like fucking with you Jimmy: 😳 Jimmy: it was fun that really got me Jimmy: fuck knows when I was last called that Janis: You are Janis: people are idiots Jimmy: we're both dickheads Jimmy: & I like you Janis: Backatcha Janis: See yours, come out and kiss me please Jimmy: I was about to ask where the fuck you were Janis: Shut up, I didn't get lost or nothing, you kept distracting me, as per Jimmy: you shut up, saying please when you know it kills me Janis: 😈 Jimmy: how do you look so Jimmy: who looks good in the rain? piss off Janis: 😏 and people reckon i'm unbearable now, keep giving me compliments imma be so bad Jimmy: Nah? I'm so mad at you Jimmy: Can't you tell Janis: 😞 Janis: can't you see this pout Jimmy: [kisses her by biting the pouty lip and pulling it in 'cause how dare she be so cute bye] Janis: [Makes noises 'cos gotta be quieter inside and also damn boy] Janis: still mad? Jimmy: Maybe Janis: Do what you gotta do 'til you ain't, I'm ready Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [keeps kissing her 'cause they extra] Janis: am I staying the night? Jimmy: yeah Janis: Good Janis: reluctantly go in now then Jimmy: would you have come all this way just to kiss me? Janis: 😶😳 Jimmy: then we can't go in yet Jimmy: [more kisses 'cause he's swooning bitch] Janis: I want to kiss you all the fucking time Jimmy: go on Janis: [Kisses first to end him] Jimmy: [Gotta give her a loud reaction back 'cause she's earning it] Janis: Fucking hell baby Janis: that ws the best thing I've ever heard Jimmy: if you wanna hear it again you know what to do Jimmy: whenever Janis: I don't wanna hear anything else Jimmy: but I've gotta let you get a word or sound in sometimes Jimmy: if only for me Janis: only for you Janis: fuck I'm so wet can we eat later or is that so anti-social and rude Jimmy: we can Jimmy: Cass & Bobby eat the speed of light, they were basically done before you got here Janis: I promise to be good and social and everything we need to be later Jimmy: I'm not asking for nowt Jimmy: you're here, I got what I wanted Janis: not yet you didn't Jimmy: alright yeah Jimmy: so come on Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [Hand holding to go inside, making Winnie's dream's come true]