#god babe i'm so sorry i keep calling you stupid

[juneiper-art]

1, 7, 8 for RT asks?

Ty!!! ask game

1. Where are they from? What is their homeworld like? Do they miss it?

(I'm kind of iffy on this one, haven't really settled for her canon yet bc i need to read more) she's from a Hive World, though her experience was mostly shaped by growing up in a noble family as sort of a pampered socialite. She's not very bright so she didn't get pulled into the planning politics or the family business (sorry babe.... -2 intelligence) but she is very good with people so she went to parties etc. She has a love/hate relationship with her past. Part of her misses those days of ignorance and indulgence but most of her realizes how vapid she had been for so long. She is pretty lonely, though, being used to her family constantly being around her.

7. Was there a defining moment in their life that influenced their Conviction?

Def. Rykad Minoris and hearing everyone tell her that the safest/right choice was to fire upon it from space and, instead of following the advice of her retinue as she had mostly been doing up until that point (because she didn't know what she was doing, she'd just do whatever they suggested) stood up for herself and ordered the shuttles to be sent to the planet. She realized that she could do something and people would follow her orders. It kind of gave her a high too, saving people, which is why she started doing it more and more...to her detriment.

8. What was their Triumph? Do they take pride in it?

Apex of Brilliance (ironically?)! She stopped a feudal war through the power of fellowship. Albireo initially did take a lot of pride in this but after becoming Rogue Trader started to view it bitterly as she feels it was naivete to think that 'apex' mattered, especially since she never once considered what the lives of people 'beneath' her were like.

[ashen-char]

expensive cars never took me where you do

ship: anora mikheeva (anora) x gender neutral reader

summary: being a mechanic dating a stripper is hard because you never get to spend enough time together. so anora spends a day in your garage.

word count: 3000+

notes: requested here. enjoy!

With your respective jobs, your schedules don't allow much time to be together. Not much overlap when you're in the garage from 8-6 every week day, while Ani's out from 5pm to the late morning stripping. Weekends, your main time for relaxation, were HQ's busiest times. As such, you had to make the most of the time that you did get. No more meal prepping for Ani when she gets home, for example. You took it upon yourself to whip stuff up for her to take to work in her trusty Tupperware, saving you two some much-needed cuddle time. Plus, you loved the awed look on her face whenever you made her favourite meals, the way she'd dance and hum happily when you let her taste-test it.

The train blares its horn, rattling Ani's entire room as it passes by. Cheap rent, Ani had explained the first time you stayed over and jerked awake to the sound, startled by the sudden noise and movement. She hadn't even opened her eyes, just stayed cuddled up on your chest. She's used to it. Even after months of dating her, it wakes you up everytime, which makes Ani laugh, teasing and calling you 'Princess and the Pea' for being so sensitive. So right now you're wide awake, checking your phone to see if she'll be home soon.

wifey💕: on the subway now! keep the bed warm 💋

You smile, sending back a kiss of your own. "stay safe," you type.

It's 4am when Ani slips into the room. Her harsh expression (or resting bitch face as she sometimes refers to it as) softens when she sees you, and she quickly sheds her coat, scarf, and beanie as well. "Why are you still up, dummy? You're gonna fall asleep on the fuckin' job, I swear..." she chastises.

"Sorry, babe," you whisper, stretching and shifting over to your side of the bed to let Ani into the sheets. "I knew you were coming home soon is all. Wanted to see you come in."

Your sleep shirt, like most of your clothes really, has these distinct splotches of oil on them. Made worse by your bad habit of wiping your hands on whatever's around. After years in the garage, you've learned to not bother with trying to keep clothes looking clean. The very worst of them get turned into rags or purely as sleep clothes since you don't like wasting anything. 'Waste not, want not' is a deeply-rooted mantra from when you didn't have the money to dispose and replace things so easily.

"I'm just saying." Ani shrugs, slipping the rest of her clothes off too. Fluid in her movements, as if her commute clothes were made to be taken off just like her HQ attire.

Your eyes trail over her frame appreciatively, taking in the rose tattoo at her ribcage that makes you smile, or the slight muscle of her core and arms. She's fit. She needs to be to work the pole like that, but can't put on too much muscle to turn away the knuckleheads that frequent Headquarters. Stupid but it brings in the dough, as Ani would say.

"Don't blame me if you smash your finger in a door again 'cause you weren't paying attention," she says, giggling when she throws her tank top at you. You catch it, give it a deep sniff. "God, you're so gross!" Ani complains. There's that laugh you were looking for.

"I'm not that clumsy." You frown, but it's hard to keep on when she's giggling like that. "It just clipped me, I didn't lose a nail or anything."

After slipping one of your larger shirts on - which almost comically swallows up her frame - she finally slips in beside you. You kiss Ani's cheek, and let her cuddle into you. Even if you know you smell of grease and gasoline and she's gonna cuss at you and say you need a shower. Burrowing her nose into the crook of your neck, she inhales you deeply, letting your scent fill her lungs. With the way she hums, you know she's content. Soothed. Letting the night melt away, all the pressures of the club or the bullshit from Diamond. She doesn't have to be on, not when she's here with you.

"Some of your body glitter's still on ya," you tell her. Your finger dabs at the corner of Ani's neck, which must have been missed by her makeup wipes.

She shivers at the contact. You used to be insecure of the fact that your hands feel like sandpaper but Ani sure seems to love it. One time she told you it was weird that you've never seen her as 'Ani'. The way she is in the club, she meant. No makeup, no heels, no cute little outfits. Of course, she likes to glam up when you two do make the time to go out on dates, but it's not similar to what she puts on for the club. Doesn't have to think about balancing the right amount of cling to show off her assets with the ease of removal.

With you, Ani said she felt like the girl she was before all this. Before the club, before Vanya, before the glitter and glam. There's nothing sexy about your lives, really. Both of them working shit jobs, living paycheck to paycheck. But for some reason, she found it comforting.

"Well, I missed you."

She's so tired. Never enough sleep, always on the go. But your body is warm and solid and she can relax. Just for a bit. "I missed you too," she mumbles. "Even if you fuckin' stink or whatever."

Ani lifts her head to look at you, eyes soft. "What time you gotta be at work?

"In a few hours," you answer in a groan. You didn't want to be reminded of it. You hate leaving before she wakes up, hate the way her body always tries to cling to you by instinct. Feels wrong, even if you know it's necessary. "The new apprentice, Jon, he still needs to be trained. He keeps texting me dumb ass questions. Like, dude, change the oil, you don't need my permission!"

"Mm I getcha. Like sometimes I show new girls the ropes. I remember Lulu being the newbie once actually," your girlfriend shares. "Poor thing. She was scared shitless when she mixed up a song request and didn't know how to play it off like a pro yet."

Ani tells you about the 'fresh meat' sometimes, how they're usually gone within the month when they realise the gig's not their thing. Usually 18-21, the type of girls that got told they were pretty enough times to want to make some coin off of it but without any dance training to speak of. The established girls do their best to make the space inviting and fun. To guide them to the right classes, how to manoeuvre around the club and look impressive on the pole without getting hurt. But ultimately it's their choice. Leave or stay.

Mostly, your definition of 'training' is trying not to yell at the poor kid, unless it's a safety concern obviously. He's an idiot and fixing his mistakes is a pain in the ass, but you don't want him quitting. It'll be more annoying to find a replacement since you've already spent the last few months making sure he can do shit without your supervision. The garage is small, started off as a glorified chop shop that you converted with some friends,

You must have gotten lost in your thoughts for a while, because Anora laughs at your scowl and shoves you. "Geez, who pissed you off? You're not even listenin' to me now huh?" she complains from her spot on your chest.

"Sorry, sorry. Just the apprentice. Broke a 10mm bolt today."

"Boooo. Speak American. What the fuck is a millimeter." Her eyes roll at the excuse and the metric system, and her sheer... Anora-ness makes your bad mood lift and a smile crack.

Which is where the idea comes from. "Do you have any days off soon?" you ask.

Anora shrugs. "Yeah, this Thursday. Why?"

"I want you to visit the shop! Come on. Didn't you always say you wanted to come and 'see what I do all day'?"

Her nails scrape up your arms, and her words are mumbled and muffled against your chest. A vibrating sensation that tickles you. "What would I even do there though? No offense, I'm sure it's riveting, but you can't exactly entertain me if you're working. Plus, when I said I wanna visit I meant I wanted to drop in sometime, give you coffee or something. Not... what, sit there and look pretty?" Anora laughs at the image, shaking her head against you. It's clear she thinks she'll just be a burden if she comes, that she'll do more harm than good.

"For one, I'd be a lot less stressed explaining myself over and over to him if you were at the shop. I could pretend I'm explaining to you," you say, trying to convince her.

Honestly, the idea of Ani 'sitting there and looking pretty' has already won you over. Who wouldn't want their gorgeous girlfriend there to impress with their mad car skills? You've been dreaming of this moment since you were a teen, fixing up a rusted hunk of a truck. Looking back it's embarrassing, but you were convinced that if you got it up and running, your crush would've swooned and asked you to give her rides to school then and there. Explaining your passion to a beautiful girl, showing off your hard work and how you could help her... it's a fucking dream.

Anora giggles. "Oh, I'm sure. You just wanna flex your mechanic brain and your stupid sexy muscles." Tilting her head up, she flashes those big brown eyes at you and you're gone. She's so heartbreakingly perfect like this. No makeup, bags under her eyes, the natural pout of her lips. Tired, from all the hard work and effort she puts into everything she does.

"Come on, please?" you ask, tilting your head down in response so your forehead meets hers. Skin to skin, gaze to gaze. Her nose presses into yours. "I wanna spend more time with you. I wanna show you what I do. Bonus points that it'll help me not scare off the new kid."

Anora nods sagely, like it's a sacred task you're entrusting to her. Her arms wrap around your neck, keeping you pressed against her. She's definitely not complaining about how you smell now. "Alright, grease monkey. I wanna be wowed."

--

"OK, you might remember this one. That's what I attached my cables to when your car wouldn't start," you say, gesturing to the battery, particularly to the red end in case it looks familiar to her.

To you, it's unforgettable how the normally cool and confident Ani was shaking in her leather boots when you told her to clamp it. Like she thought she'd get electrocuted then and there. Anora grasped you so hard, and your heart thumped at the knowledge that she trusted you'd never let something bad happen to her.

Ani leans against the wall, watching you work under the hood of a car. Her arms are crossed, one foot kicked up behind her, resting against the wall. She's putting on her best 'cool girl' attitude, but inside, you know she's fascinated. You know your shit.

"So, like, what's all this stuff do?" Ani asks, gesturing vaguely at the engine. "It's all just metal and wires and shit to me. Rusted shit."

You chuckles, wiping your hands on a rag before taking hers. "Well, babe, this here's the heart of the car. The engine. Makes it go vroom vroom," you teases, revving an imaginary engine.

Ani rolls her eyes but smiles. "Okay, smartass. But like, what do all the parts do?"

You take the time to point to the different components, explaining in layman's terms. The specific car you're looking at is one from a regular customer, so you've run maintenance on it for years. You tell her stories of the parts you had to replace, especially the shitshow last month when you had imported specific parts from Japan and the apprentice misplaced them.

Ani listens intently, asking questions when she doesn't understand. She grins like she's won the lottery whenever you tell her she asked a great question. You involve Jon too - if it seems like something he should be able to handle, you make him answer it. Correcting him when he gets something slightly wrong, or if you wanted a more detailed explanation. It makes you laugh when Jon messes up his words because Ani is just that gorgeous. As for the complicated ones, you're patient, breaking it down so she grasps the basics.

"So, like, this is why it's important to get your oil changed regularly," Ani says, tapping the oil pan. She's squatting down to watch you as you're laid out on the dolly. "Cuz if it's all gunked up, the engine can't, what, lubricate itself or something? No lube is rough, I get it." She sighs, patting the hood like she's empathising with it.

That makes you chortle, never prepared for Ani's crass jokes or references to your very active sex life. "OK, hold on, no lube has always been your idea!" you protest, giving a weak kick from underneath.

"I didn't say I didn't like it~"

"Alright, masochist." Rolling your eyes now, you focus on her actual observation. "And to your previous point, exactly," you beam, proud of her. "See? You're a quick learner."

Ani preens under the praise. "I got a good teacher."

She helps you out from under the Nissan Tiida, sliding you back out. Work's slow sometimes. The city's got a lower amount of people who own their own cars, and you don't like the monotony of working on the same make over and over, so you don't usually go for fixing up taxis or rented cars. This specific one has been a passion project, something you toy around with when there's not much to do. You've wanted to take it home for a while, but you've been holding off. Not until it's perfect.

"Alright. What's, mm, that one?" Anora asks.

Standing up, you come up behind her, your warm breath on her neck as you lean over to see what she's pointing at. "That's the intake manifold. It brings in the air and fuel mixture the engine needs to run. Sometimes it cracks and leaks out more air than it should."

Ani nods, trying to wrap her head around it. "Okay, I think I get it. So, like, if this thing's fucked up, the car won't run right? Or at least the engine will go fucky."

"Pretty much," you confirm, wrapping your arms around her waist now. Jon's off on a lunch break. You make him go pick up burgers at a spot a few blocks down when the shop's quiet like this. Means less time of him hassling you. "But don't worry, I'll always make sure our ride is in tip top shape."

You press a kiss to her hair. The tinsel in it always falls straight down, which is why Anora straightens her hair every day to make it look right. With you, all natural without anyone else to impress? Her hair's got her natural waves, looking healthy and sleek.

Ani melts into your embrace, leaning her head back against your shoulder. "I know you will, babe. You're the best."

The two of you stand there for a moment, just enjoying each other's presence. You can't help it. You wanna tell her everything, there's a compulsion in you. Then you pull away, taking Ani's hand. "C'mon, I wanna show you something."

You lead her to the car you were just working on, opening the driver's side door. It's not flashy, not luxurious or even running perfectly yet. But it's got its charm. The seats are comfortable unlike leather which gets hot quickly, it's surprisingly spacious on the inside, and the wooden look of the interior detailing makes it look and feel cozy.

"What are you-"

"I bought it for us. Out of pocket," you explain, helping Ani into the passenger seat. "It wasn't cheap, but it's been sitting in the shop for months, and I just couldn't let it go to waste."

Ani runs her hands over the dashboard, the textured cream seats. It's not new, but it's been lovingly restored. All by you. No way you'd let Jon touch this. "It's beautiful," she breathes. "Did you do all this?"

You nod. Her awed look makes you push out your chest a little, ego thoroughly inflated. "Most of it. I had a friend look at the AC, but yeah. This is all me, babe."

Ani turns to you, throwing her arms around your neck. "I love it. I love you. You're amazing," she gushes, peppering your face with kisses.

"I figured it was time we had a real car. One that's ours. No more borrowing beaters or taking the subway everywhere. Even if you say it's alright and you like the subway." You return the 'I love you' and pucker your lips for her to kiss.

"Thank you," Ani whispers, cupping your face in her hands. "You're the best partner a girl could ask for. I mean that. Who the fuck fixes up a whole car just to surprise their girlfriend?"

"Anything for you, princess," you murmur against her lips.

"Princess?" Anora playfully shoves you away. "You're fucking high."

But you mean it. You wanna spoil her to the best of your abilities, wanna make her feel like a princess even with your meagre funds and lack of time together. You want to make her feel like the most special girl in the world.

"How about I take you for a spin in our new ride?" you offer. Your hands grip the steering wheel, the polished wood under your hands. "And the best part! No more relying on the subway. I know this isn't exactly rolling in style but..."

Anora shakes her head, taking your hand. It's calloused and rough, but the way she holds it makes you feel like you could be tender in your own way. Makes you appreciate that your hands and hard work is the way you show it, not by blowing cash. "It's perfect," she tells you. "Because you did it, because you wanted to provide. That's all I need."

"Better than the limos Ivan rode you around in?"

Anora rolls her eyes, looking at you like it's a stupid question. Because how could she even compare the two when you're in front of her, giving her everything you can? "No competition, baby. I thought I wanted that, back then, but you're what I was really waiting for."

It's so mushy and vulnerable, coming from her. Just straight from the heart. "I'm nothing special," you attempt to refuse.

"You're the only fucking one who knows what I need. Who gives it to me, no matter what it is," Ani tells you, refusing your refusal. "You've got me. Body and soul."

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: Drive My Car

————————————————————————-

Summary: You still haven't learned your lesson… and are back with a Joe prank! Now it's calling your poor husband to tell him about your discovery of “Christmas gas”.

Warnings: Fluff, slight illusion to smut

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

December 12th, 2023

I still don't know how Joe isn't tired of me and my tricks yet. After all of the pranks I've pulled on him I just keep finding more.

Bored in bed since Joe was gone, I found a prank I could do on him over the phone and immediately got down to business.

He was at his parent's house helping his mom build a new dresser like the amazing son he is while I stayed at home with Tyson and Miles. They weren't awake yet so I could put Joe on speaker while recording with his iPad.

After making my hair look decent I pulled Joe’s contact up and called him.

In usual amazing husband fashion, he answered in less than two rings.

“Hey Joey.” - you

“Hey, Mama. What's up? Do I need to step outside for this.” - Joe

Even though I loved Robin with my whole heart, I really didn't want her to think I was a ditz who thought diesel was “Christmas gas”.

“Uhm, yes.” - you

“Okay gimme a sec.” - Joe

A few moments later you could hear the back sliding door shut and Joe told you to keep going.

“Okay so the other day I saw this TikTok about this thing called Christmas gas and I wanted to try it. So I did. Now my car barely even got home and it was making a weird sound.” - you

“Baby… what? What the fuck is Christmas gas and where did you get it?” - Joe

“The gas station we always go to! It's just gas that's supposed to smell like pine wood for the holidays.” - you

I had to mute myself because I was dying laughing. Joe sighed and groaned out of pure annoyance before clearing his throat to speak.

“You actually put it in your car?” - Joe

“Mhm. Should I have not of?” - you

“I don't know, y/n! I've never heard of damn Santa gas or whatever the hell!” - Joe

“Christmas gas! It’s a limited edition!” - you

“Limited edition… baby why would they have limited edition gas?” - Joe

“I don't know. It was like three more dollars a gallon though and didn't even smell like pine wood.” - you

“Oh my god. y/n, was it coming from the green nozzle?” - Joe

“Yes! You have heard of it!” - you

“y/n, that's diesel babe! Did you put diesel in your car?” - Joe

“No, I put the Christmas gas in.” - you

“The green nozzle is diesel, y/n. That's why it was 3 more dollars than the regular gas, and why your car isn't working, because you put diesel in your gas car!” - Joe

“Are you sure? The gas station was decorated for Christmas and the green pump even had lights on it.” - you

“Yes, I'm sure! I'm gonna have to call the mechanic and take your car in when I get home later. Hopefully, your engine isn't ruined.” - Joe

“Is my car going to be ruined, Joey?” - you

“I don't know baby. You have to stop doing those stupid TikTok trends, y/n.” - Joe

“I’m sorry Joe. If my car’s ruined don't feel like you have to get it fixed.” - you

“That's BS. Imma get your damn car fixed. Just promise you won't do stuff like that till you run it by me because it might be a scam.” - Joe

“Okay, baby. I love you.” - you

“I love you too, just don't use your car till I get home. If you need to go somewhere before I do just take one of mine.” - Joe

“Thank you, just one more thing to tell you before you go.” - you

“Please tell me you didn't get your oil changed with reindeer piss.” - Joe

I busted out laughing and Joe giggled along with me, proud of how he was quick enough to make a funny joke.

“No! But… this was a prank.” - you

“Oh my god y/n! So your car is fine?” - Joe

“Yes. I haven't even left the house… or even the bed yet today.” - you

“Shit babe, you had me worried for a minute. Well, I'm gonna go. I love you.” - Joe

“I love you too! Kinda sad I won't get to see you play sexy mechanic though.” - you

“Pregnancy hormones?” - Joe chuckled

“They’re through the roof.” - you giggled

“I’ll help when I get home.” - Joe

I could practically hear his smirk in his lust-laced promise.

“Bye, Joey.” - you

“Bye, Mama. Don’t be buyin’ any gasoline from elves ya hear?” - Joe

“Yes, sir.” - you laughed and Joe hung up

That gorgeous man is a saint for putting up with me.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: this is my favorite thing ever?! Saw this request in my inbox and IMMEDIATELY started writing.

Request for this fic;

[stop-talking]

Win for me <3

Josh Futturman x gender-neutral reader

2.3k words

Tags: 18+ Josh x g!n reader, smut, no use of y/n, slight angst, pre-established relationship, reader is called "babe", porn with (slight) plot, pre-show, handjob & oral (josh recieving), unprotected sex, vague penetration (reader receiving), Josh is a sub, reader is a little whiny & needy as well

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

You wake up to an empty bed. Again.

Squinting, you check the time on the digital clock sitting on your boyfriend's nightstand.

Nearly 2am. Three hours past the time he promised to come to sleep.

You huff in annoyance and throw the blankets off, heading to the door. It's no secret where he is, or what he's doing right now. What he's always doing.

Josh sits on the couch, laughing and chatting with his stupid little internet friends. He hasn't heard you sneak up behind him, not with his headphones on.

For a few moments, you just stand behind the couch, fuming and watching him play whatever game he's been obsessing over lately.

This is, what? The THIRD time in a row? You'd only been dating him around half a year, sure, but damn. When he invites you to sleep over, is it really so crazy to expect him to actually sleep with you?

"Forget about me again?" You finally speak up, placing a hand on his shoulder and startling him so bad he nearly drops his controller.

"Fuck, BABE, don't do that." He cries out, shooting you a quick look of shock and anger while he adjusts his headset.

Seriously? He's just going to leave one ear hanging out and turn right back to his stupid game?

You bite your tongue and take a few breaths to prevent yourself from saying anything you'll regret, but as you stare down at him... you're struck with an idea.

"I know I'm up a little late, sorry." He mumbles, only half paying attention to you as you make your way around the couch.

"It's just- my friends needed me for this raid, thought it would be quick..."

"It's okay." You lie, taking a seat next to him on the couch and trying to keep up a warm demeaner you aren't really feeling.

Josh visibly relaxes at your words, melting back into the couch and leaning against you slightly as he plays his game.

"I figured, if you aren't going to come to bed, I'll just come hang out with you."

He flashes you a quick smile, but it immediately fades as one of his friends shouts something over the line, and he turns back to the TV.

You can only vaguely make out what they're saying to him. Usually it's insults, screaming, or some kind of cry for help. So annoying. Can't he see you need him more?

Josh's eyes go wide as your hand suddenly squeezes his thigh.

"Babe?" He gasps, reaching up to turn off his mic. "What are you doing?"

God, he's so cute when he squirms like that. You move your hand a little higher, giving his inner thigh another solid squeeze.

"Shh, baby. Focus on your game." As you whisper in his ear, you let your hand wander further, brushing against the growing bulge in his pants. Aww, he's so sensitive.

He hesitates for a moment, clearly torn between wanting to play his game and wanting more of... whatever you're about to do to him.

His friends make the decision for him, yelling something through the headset that makes him snap his attention back to the TV.

"Y-yeah, I'm here. Right behind you guys."

You smirk and slide off the couch, settling down on your knees in front of him.

He glances down at you nervously as you spread his legs, trying and failing to maintain composure with his friends on the line.

So fucking cute. You start to grope him through his pants, feeling up and down his hardening cock. His squirming makes it all worth it. Josh Futturman isn't a bad boyfriend, not really. He's just... easily distracted.

Speaking of which... it seems he's finally giving in to your little distraction, because he sets the controller down and reaches to take off his headphones.

"Don't." You grab his wrist firmly, stopping him.

"Keep playing. That's what you want, right? To win your little game?"

He bites his lip as you start aggressively palming his bulge, desperately trying to hold back his usual slew of whimpers and moans.

"I... I don't..."

You shush him, and guide his hand back to the controller.

"You've been playing for hours. No sense in giving up now. Win for me. Can you do that?"

Nodding, he picks up the controller and sinks back onto the couch. His eyes nervously flicker down to look at you, but his attention is still torn between you and his game.

"Your friends still on the line?" You ask, unzipping his jeans and starting to tug them down.

Another nod. He lifts his hips, eager to be undressed.

"Better be quiet then."

"Can't I just-" He reaches up and wraps his hand around the mic, effectively muting himself. "-do this?"

Before you can tell him no, his friends yell something over the line, and his eyes snap back to the TV, absorbed in his game once more.

"I-I got it." He stammers, clearly stressing. A couple beads of sweat drip down his face, and his hair is sticking to his forehead.

"Just play your game... and try not to be too loud."

This is going better than you imagined. His dick is practically jumping in his boxers as you grope him, and all his words are short and clipped as he struggles to maintain composure.

You wait until he's in the middle of a sentence, then lean down and gently bite at his clothed cock. He reacts exactly as you'd hoped, letting out a short yelp that turns into a moan.

"S-sorry. Stubbed my toe..." He mumbles lamely into the mic, giving you a glare that immediately melts away when you rub circles onto his tip.

There's a wet spot beginning to form in his boxers from how much he's leaking. This must be torture for him. Too bad you aren't even close to finished with him yet.

You peel down his boxers, letting his cock spring free. In turn, he slumps a little lower onto the couch, letting out a sharp breath as it slaps against his stomach.

"Just be quiet for me." You whisper, wrapping a hand around his base and taking the tip in your mouth.

As you look up at him through your eyelashes, he meets your gaze, completely frozen. He nearly loses it when you swirl your tongue around his tip, squirming and biting his lip to keep quiet.

It's almost sad that he has to hold back. You've always loved the pathetic little sounds he makes when he's inside you. Oh well, this is what he gets for ignoring you all the damn time.

Fueled by a little bit of anger and more than a little lust, you start to bob your head, lips meeting the top of your fist.

He lets out a shaky breath, placing a hand on the back of your head in a desperate attempt to pull you down further.

That's not right. He should be playing his game. You pull off of his dick slowly, making a lewd popping sound.

"Have you won for me yet?" You tease, meeting his eyes and moving your hand up and down his spit-covered length.

That's it. That little comment seems to break him, because he sets down the controller and rips his headset off, tossing it aside.

"Don't care - FUCK - don't care about the game right now..." He groans, unable to get out a complete sentence without cursing or whimpering.

"Oh? You sure? Because I can leave you be and let you focus..."

He whines when you stop moving your hand, bucking his hips up into it.

"Please don't go."

His discarded headphones suddenly roar with noise, his friends screaming about something in the game. You pick them up and smirk at Josh as you speak into the mic.

"Sorry boys, he's busy."

You flick them off, then toss them aside again as Josh sputters.

"W-why'd you have to say that? That's fucking embarrassing."

"No, what's embarrassing is how many times I've actually believed you when you say you'll go to bed with me." You snap back, pouting and climbing up onto his lap.

As you straddle him, he finally seems to give you his full attention. He clears his throat, noticing your outfit for the first time. A t-shirt and underwear. More specifically, his t-shirt.

"I've missed you, Josh."

He immediately melts under your touch, letting go of whatever anger had built up.

"I'm sorry."

Looking into his eyes, you can tell he really means it. You cup his face and lean in in close, pressing your forehead to his.

"I'm still mad at you." You whisper, absolutely lying.

"I'm really sorry." He tries again, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

"Still don't forgive you."

Josh whines as you start to pepper kisses down his neck. At this point, he can probably tell you're just toying with him, but he's too damn horny to care.

"Really really sorry?" He mumbles, throwing his head back to allow you better access to his neck.

"It's not that easy." You tease, giving his neck a solid bite and starting to softly grind on his lap.

He just whines in response, mind too clouded with lust to think straight at this point.

"Need you to fuck the forgiveness out of me. Can you do that?"

Josh nods, moaning as you suck circles into his neck. He's already lost this fight, giving in to you completely. As he should.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

You lie impatiently on his bed, already naked and ready for him. He seems to be taking his sweet time undressing, so you urge him on.

"I need you." You whine, squirming on the bed.

That's all he needs to hear. In seconds, he's on top of you, trailing kisses down your neck.

You wrap your arms tightly around him, sliding a hand up into his hair and gently tugging on it. He takes the hint, bringing his face up to yours and kissing your lips.

He's so eager to taste you. His tongue is in your mouth before you can even kiss him back. Not that you mind. It's endearing.

"Fuck, Josh." You pant as he finally pulls away to catch his breath.

"If you don't put it in me right this second, I'm never going to forgive you."

He lets out a breathless laugh as you tug at his hips, but doesn't waste any time. After lining himself up with your entrance, he slides it in with ease.

"You feel amazing." He stares down at you with those lovesick puppy eyes of his, completely losing himself inside you.

Now that he's finally giving you the attention you've been craving, you're starting to lose it as well.

"Faster." You choke out, gasping from the sensation of being filled. He's usually so sweet and gentle, but tonight you need all of him. Everything he can offer.

His brow furrows in concentration as he goes ever-so-slightly faster.

"Josh." You cup a hand on his cheek, looking up at him with pure desperation in your eyes.

"Fuck me stupid. If I can still walk after this, you're not forgiven."

That makes him blush deeply. It's silly honestly, how he can be so nervous about his performance when he's all you've ever wanted. All you've ever needed.

"A-are you sure?"

"Fuck. Me. Harder."

He complies, moaning and jutting his hips a little more roughly. You cry out with pleasure and grip his hips, pulling him into you further with every thrust.

Once he sees how much you're enjoying it, he goes even harder, making the bed creak and the headboard slap against the wall. You almost can't even hear it, though, over the sound of your own moans.

The way you call out his name only encourages him further, and soon tears are dripping from your eyes.

"Fuck... I'm close..." You whine, tightening your grip on him.

Your admission makes him nearly lose it, hips stuttering as he lets out a sharp moan.

"Please cum with me. Please." He begs breathlessly.

You do so almost immediately, trembling and crying out his name as he pumps hot ropes of cum into you.

"Fuck... missed that so much... missed you so much." He mumbles, collapsing on top of you and panting.

You feel him nuzzle into your neck and you card your fingers through his hair for a minute while you regain composure. Your heart is still racing, and you can feel his cum leaking out of you. Thank god you're making a mess of his bed and not yours.

"You could have fucked me like this at any time." You remind him, a hint of bitterness in your tone. Yes, this was supposed to be apology sex, but it also served as a reminder of what you had been missing out on.

"Damnit. Can you still walk? Do I need to try again so you'll forgive me?" He laughs softly, playfully nipping at your neck and squeezing you tight.

"Mmm... yeah... It's been, what? Three weeks since we last did this?" You muse, humming happily at his touch. It's so hard to stay mad at him.

"So I think I deserve three weeks worth of make-up sex."

Josh nearly chokes at that.

"Three weeks? How much stamina do you think I have?" He laughs again and starts to pepper your face with affectionate kisses.

"We'll have to see, wont we?" You tease, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him back down against you.

"You're going to be the death of me."

"Hey, It'll be a fun death."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Josh never ended up giving up his late night gaming sessions. And you never expected him to, not really. But now you have an ace up your sleeve.

Sometimes, on nights when you really need him, you place a hand on his thigh while he's gaming. It's a small gesture that he's learned means "turn the game off RIGHT NOW or I will make you regret it."

He never regrets what happens afterwards.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

Author's note: RAHH thanks so much for 100 followers!! I wanted to write a quick little smut piece to celebrate, but this ended up taking all day. Oops.

(Totally worth it because I love Futturman)

This was my first attempt at a gender neutral reader, and I think I executed it pretty well. Please shoot me a message/comment/ask if I missed something.

[liaarxse]

Eye-catching

Headcanons

How would TR boys react to their s/o being a teen model?

Characters: Takashi Mitsuya, Keisuke Baji, Nahoya (Smiley) Kawata

Warnings: None, fluff

A/n: Inspired by a chat I had with a Character.Ai bot 😍

Takashi Mitsuya

He found out before you even thought about telling him.

Wasn't even surprised tbh.

"You're beautiful, love. It's not even a surprise to me :)"

Love him sm.

He's literally so supportive.

If you have fashion shows, he'll attend every single one of them. Will make Toman members go, too, and cheer for you.

When he saw your diet plan, he saw red.

"What is this? You're not eating like that! Come, I'll cook for you."

He doesn't agree with the rules they gave you.

When he notices you drastically lose weight, he's dragging you to your favorite eating place and buying you the whole menu.

He understands you have to follow them to keep your job, but it's too much in his eyes.

The first time he saw you walking down the stage in a purple and gold dress, his mouth slightly dropped.

Hakkai was next to your boyfriend, cheering (so he doesn't get beaten up)

Mikey was on Draken's shoulders waving his hands.

"HEY Y/N, Y/N, HERE WE'RE HERE!"

Your smile widens as soon as your eyes land on your boyfriend's shocked look.

When you finish, he comes up to you, asking for an autograph before kissing your cheek.

"I'm literally your girlfriend."

"I know."

Just give him the autograph.

If a guy texts you, trying to get to know you, he'll send him a photo of you sleeping on his chest, his arm around your waist, kissing your head while mischievously looking at the camera, smirking.

Overall 100/10 angel.

Baji Keisuke

"What, bae? You're a mole?"

Wasn't even listening.

When he realized what you said, his face lit up.

"Damn, that's awesome!"

He is about to brag to every single human being that crosses his path.

"Yo! You see this girl? This is my girlfriend!

"Ok?"

Protective.

Always with an arm around your shoulders, sending death glares to anyone who looks at you.

God bless the poor soul who comes up to you for a picture or autograph.

His arm doesn't leave your shoulders. You have to pry him off of you to take the picture.

He doesn't stop glaring at the person, and when they leave, his arm is back around your shoulders, pressing a kiss on your temple.

When he sees you walking down the stage, he's shouting with his whole being.

"THAT'S MY BABY WHOOOO–"

Someone shut him up please.

A guy once came up to you asking for your number while you were with Baji.

Stupid? No, idiotic.

The moment he said that, Baji placed a kiss on your lips and turned you to the other side.

"Sorry, she's taken."

Barely kept himself from jumping on him.

Overall 8/10

Nahoya Kawata

Sweet cherry and honey pie

Didn't find out until someone came up to you asking for a picture.

He was like "the fuck?"

Then you explained to him that you were a model for quite a popular company.

His signature smile returned immediately, placing a hand on the small of your back and pressing his cheek to yours.

"That's my babe!"

Literally a whole menace

The first time he saw you on television or walking down the stage, he almost opened his eyes.

Literally climbed on the runway and kissed you.

"If any of you cheeky motherfuckers dare touch my girl, I'll kill ya without hesitation!"

They kicked him out.

Nobody dares come up to you after that whole event.

Started calling you 'sweet cheeks' after your 'Summer Started' fashion review.

"Nice ass, peaches."

"Shut up, Nahoya."

"Nope 😁"

Annoying.

But he loves you sm give him points for that.

Overall 7/10 for cuteness.

[abbysbitch]

mean!dom abby

moans so loud

a/n: thank u anon, again sorry for how long this took me to get out. when i see mean i go crazy. also this is all lowercase (i'm putting this bc ik ppl get mad sometimes) hope u enjoy :)

wc: 1.6k (god im sorry lmfao)

cw: brat tamer abby, name calling (whore, stupid slut, brat, princess, pretty girl), pussy slapping, face slapping, cunnilingus, use of strap on, use of mommy kink, tiniest bit of a breeding kink.

you had been out all night with abby and happened to get a little tipsy. oblivious to you the alcohol made you extremely flirtatious towards everyone, and she wasn't having one bit of it.

abby had found you dancing a little too close to manny for her liking- and knowing him she wanted you out. asap.

grabbing you in by your waist from behind, she spins you around, way too fast for how much you had drank, leaving you all ditzy and disoriented.

"o-oh, hey abby," you hiccup between slurred words. "whatcha doin'?" you look up at her with pupils the size of the moon and she almost felt bad. Almost.

"how much have you had to drink babe?" she asks, looking at your red solo cup that has the smallest amount of liquor left in it. 'uhh-um, not toooo much," you reply, lids droopy and mouth wet from the drink you just sipped.

"oh yeah? not too much but you're rubbing all up on manny like you aren't mine?" she whispers in your ear, making you all dizzy- anticipating what was next as your clenched your thighs close.

shaking her head, abby takes the solo cup out of your hand and dumps it out onto the floor. "what th- what the fuck abby? i wasn't done with that!" and with a grab way too firm to be lovingly, she holds your wrist and drags you towards the doors of the small building.

"we're leaving," and before you could say anything she continues,

"and keep your little mouth shut from here on out. wouldn't want any more punishment than you're already getting, would you pretty girl?"

━────༺༻──━───༺༻────

the walk back to her house was silent and you were fiening with anticipation. you loved it when abby got like this, all possessive and mean, but especially now when your want was fueled by the alcohol in your system- legs wobbling and heat all throughout your body. not to mention how god awfully wet you were the entire way back.

her hold on you was still tight, probably bruising by now, making your skin all sensitive to the touch. reaching her house, she quickly opens the door and escorts you inside.

"bedroom, now. want you all ready for me, okay?" she goes, and with a nod you turn down the hall into her bedroom. sitting on the floor you undress, everything off except for your panties and bra. When she would get in these moods she'd always want you in the same position, on your knees in front of the bed. waiting for her made you whine silently in need, rubbing your thighs against one another, trying to calm the fire that's slowly growing inside you.

abby walks into the bedroom, seeing you in your place she hums in contentment, and takes her own right in front of you. "think my girls been a little bad today, what would you say, hm?" she says in a falsely comforting tone. "'m sorry abby, let me make it up to you." you say, pouting.

"you'll make it up to me, huh." she replies with a condescending tone as she grips your face, hand taking purchase on your chin, tilting you upwards slightly. "i don't think you're really sorry, though." she mocks. "open your mouth baby," she goes and you obey, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. she bends over slightly, getting closer to you and spits, a long glob of saliva going straight into your mouth. she takes your chin again and closes your mouth for you, watching as you swallow.

"if only you were this good and obedient all the time," she starts, leaning down even more to get closer to your lips, barely brushing against them, making you lean closer to try and capture them in yours, but she pulls back immediately. "but you have to go out and be a dumb little whore when i'm not around, don't you?" and you drop your head in embarrassment.

"abby, i said 'm sorry, i didn't mean to" you respond, but she quickly grabs your hair, yanking it to make you hold her gaze.

"i never asked for a response, did i?" she sternly demands, leaving you to shake your head towards her.

"what's the safeword?" she says and you quietly go,

"red."

"good girl."

━────༺༻──━───༺༻────

now, abby has you pinned underneath her, arms caging you in so all you can see is her and her fake cock absolutely drilling into you, the room filled with the sounds of your combined panting and the slick sounds your cunts making as she fucks into you at an unfathomably fast pace.

"abby, fuck- 's too much," you whine as your grab onto her biceps, digging crescent moons into the skin. "awh, i thought you wanted more?" she imitates, making a point to brush up against your clit with every thrust causing you to let out a strangled moan.

"since you've been such a brat tonight, don't you think you deserve it?" she goes on, and when you whine instead of responding with words she harshly grabs your face and says "answer me." but when you take too long to answer she slaps you, not too hard but enough to bring you back and say, "'m sorry abby, yes i deserve it- shiiiit." and you continue to blabble incoherent sentences as she keeps her assault on your guts.

"suckin' me so deep," she presses on your lower stomach, "can feel you up here huh? does it feel good baby?" and you can. feel her so far inside you it doesn't feel real. "gonna fuckin' fill you up, swear to god," she goes and you moan even louder at the thought of her filling you up- you know she can't but god do you wish she can in this moment.

"more abby- more-" you start but before you can say more you're cut off by her stopping completely, sliding out of you in one go with a groan. "you're so fuckin' greedy baby, if you want it so bad, beg." she spits, cupping your leaking pussy and god- she might break at the sight.

"please mommy, i need it sooo bad, god please fuck me," you sniffle, and at the name you called her she slaps your cunt, causing you to yelp before she dips down and kisses your clit sweetly. "good job, that wasn't so hard now was it princess?" and she comes back up to nip at your jaw and neck, and finally kisses you as she slides back in with no resistance, moaning with you at the feeling of your cunt swallowing her dick, entirely.

your lips practically eating eachother whole, the scene could fit right into a porno, god it was so erotic. tongues fighting for dominance against one another, and teeth clashing in a mess of saliva that was dripping down from your chin and to your neck.

she picks up her pace after a couple thrusts and you're already so dumb off her cock- even though you had just had it mere seconds before. "fu-fuck mommy, feels s'good" you whine nonsensically, feeling your core tighten with each thrust of her hips and brush of her strap against your clit.

"yeah, it feels good huh baby?" and when you don't respond she continues, "you're such a stupid slut all on my cock aren't you? taking me so fucking good, my stupid- stupid fucking slut." she punctuates the nickname with thrusts that hit sooo deep you see stars.

she lifts up your hips with one arm and takes a pillow from the bed- putting it underneath you to hit a deeper spot. you whine between thrusts at the new position and say "want you to fill me up, mommy- need it bad." and she stills for a second at the confession, and fucks into you even harder.

"yeah? want mommy to fill you up with her cum?" she grunts and all you can respond with are whimpers and sobs of her name, mommy and strings of curses.

with the way the strap was secured to her body, she was getting just the right amount of friction from fucking you that she was close too. moans and grunts spilled from her mouth along with praises to you as she fucked into you harder- and somehow deeper. her want took over and she was pounding you- no, she was rearranging your guts.

your cunt spasming against her dick as your high comes closer, oh ever so closer, you being unaware but abby- oh she knows. she can feel every clench of your pussy against her, every drag against your walls and every spill of your juices all on her. "gonna cum for me?" she goes and with your nod she's already dropping down to your ear, nipping the skin and whispering "yeah, cum with me, cum all over mommys fucking cock."

It hits you like a train, stars appearing in your vision- if you could even see at this point, cunt simultaneously pulsing with your clit around abby, mouth wide open but no sounds coming out and arching your back so hard it could snap in half. abby slows her hips, as she reaches her high at the same time, letting you both ride out as much of your orgasms as you can, and when you finally come back to she slowly slides out of you with a curse from her mouth and a whimper from yours.

"think you learned your lesson, baby?" she says as she takes off the harness and lies down next to you, grabbing your naked form and holding it against her while rubbing circles on your hips.

"yeah, i think so." you slur, still in the aftershock of your orgasm, being barely able to form words.

"lets go get cleaned up, okay?" she says sweetly as she kisses your forehead, nose and then lips, and you just respond with an "okay".

━────༺༻──━───༺༻────

[inhibitionfreewriting]

Right Person, Wrong Time (pt2)

for what it's worth, i'm sorry for any heartbreak

part 1 / part 3

🌠🌠

Surely there was a reason for this. To be damned to show up with your bar-crawling friends to a place where your ex fiancé is flirting with some woman. Your friends haven't noticed him and it doesn't seem like he's noticed you, too busy trying to get the woman to laugh at his jokes.

It takes less than 2 minutes from your friends to find a table near the bar itself but far enough away from him that you don't really mind, sticking to the innermost corner of the group. They barely even paid attention when you were more focused on getting a good shot of him than ordering a drink.

you 7:19pm: [picture of your ex fiancé]

you 7:19pm: stupid motherfucker couldn't pick a better bar to go hard ass women at

you 7:20pm: harass*

You weren't even entirely sure of who you sent the message to, perhaps a little too inebriated yourself to be completely in control. Maybe that was what you really wanted though. That's what you were used to, wasn't it? Having other people make decisions for you? One of the people you were with slid their drink over to you.

"Drink honey, drink and I'll get me another one. You need it you just look... you look sooo so sad." Fruity. You could barely taste the alcohol.

"You can't be sad!" Another one says, smacking their hand down on the table before pointing at you. "You can't be sad because your life is going to get so much better. I can feel it. It's in the stars. I was reading your uh... your... fucking what is it called, shit."

"Horoscope?"

"YES! Your whore scope."

"Horoscope."

"Shh shh shh. That's what I said. It said that your life is going to change in a big big way soon. I believe it's gonna be good." You shook your head and continued drinking, not paying attention to the way that the conversation drifted away from you once again. The way you liked it.

... bzzzt ...

Willard Neffard 7:30pm: I thought he didn't even drink?

Thank god you had texted Will and nobody else.

you 7:32pm: 8 months ago he didn't

you 7:35pm: but maybe that was a lie??

you 7:38pm: IDK i kind of wish i could leave but i cannot drive right now

Willard Neffard 7:50pm: I got you 👍🏻

you 7:51pm: a literal night in shining armor

you 7:51pm: knight

"Guys, I'm gonna have a friend come get me." Your friends frowned and the one next to you wrapped their arm around you and dropped their head to your shoulder. "I don't feel that great and I think I'm out of battery for the night."

"We get it babes, you gonna stay with us till your ride gets here?" You nodded and leaned your head against the one on your shoulder.

"Probably for the best. Just means I can keep knocking them back until then. Excuse me, miss!" You called your waitress over and ordered another round. The Uber driver would get it surely, if you explained to them that you saw your ex fiancé who technically left you at the altar showed up at a bar that you were at to relax so you drank a little more while waiting for them to get there? Yeah, definitely, of course they would. Who wouldn't?

Willard Neffard 8:26pm: Outside

At this point you were near stumbling and your mind was in a perpetual spin cycle. Were you too hung up on your life getting destroyed, or were you hung up enough? Your friends told you it was grief. You were grieving the burning of bridges, the deaths of friendship, and that grief was hard to get over. You grow around grief, grief doesn't get smaller.

The air outside the bar had a bite to it, the cool breeze immediately lighting your cheeks up, what a difference. No Uber to be seen though... and no Will either. Did you send him the wrong address? You pulled out your phone and checked, no you sent the right one. You ran your hand through your hair. There was a slim chance that he was playing a joke on you but after everything you didn't put much weight into that theory.

"I heard you needed a ride."

No, absolutely not. You shook your head with your eyes shut, hoping that you wouldn't fall over.

"Will was busy and there wasn't a way you'd get an Uber out without it being completely overpriced." Hasan stood a few feet away, like he was nervous to be any closer, in a tan sweater and dark slacks. "All I want to do is get you home safe."

In another life you would have ran and wrapped your arms around him, telling him he looked good and thanking him for being willing to pick you up. In another life he would have been at the bar with you and your friends, celebrating something. All you could muster was a quiet 'okay' before opening your eyes and walking past him to his car, getting into the passenger seat without saying anything else.

With your head against the headrest, you closed your eyes again and tried to pretend you were anywhere else with anyone else. The car ride was quiet sans the random radio station all the way down to where you could barely make out the beat to the music with your hand against the speaker.

Eventually, Hasan sighed heavily and smacked the steering wheel before leaning back. You jumped in your seat, eyes snapping open before looking over to him and then the cars ahead of you. Lines and lines of red taillights, backed up far past the edge of your vision. This was not going to be a quick 30 minute drive home.

"Oh. Of fucking course," the liquor in your system making you louder than intended. "The first time I go out drinking in months, months, I have to see both assholes who have ruined my life. I'm going to kill Will. I should have told them I couldn't go out. Should have stayed home." Hasan turned enough to look at you, but said nothing.

"I wouldn't be in this fucking mess if it weren't for you," your body turned to face him and you jabbed a hand in his direction but didn't make contact. "Seriously, every time my life goes to shit, it is you at the wheel of the ship. Why is that Piker? Do you hate me? Is it active sabotage, or is it just the balance of the universe? I'm the one who has to suffer for you to be happy?" The car moved a few feet before stopping again. "Well? Nothing? You have nothing to say to me?"

You observed him the best that you could in the lack of light. One hand sat on the steering wheel still, the other on his lap in a fist and he gnawed on the inside of his lips in thought. You had seen that look many times before, the gears in his head were turning, but still he stayed silent. Impatient, Words started to tumble out of your mouth again, each heavier with angry tears than the last.

"I can start it for you since you're too stupid to think of it first. How about I'm sorry? You don't even have to be specific. Just 'I'm sorry'!" Your fingers were cold on your face when they wiped at your cheeks. His hand left his lap and gingerly reached for one side of your face and for a moment you even contemplated letting him. But only a moment. Seething with pent up rage, you smacked his hand away from your face and moved towards the window with the little room you had left. He had pulled his hand back into his lap but cut you off before you could take a deep enough breath to speak again.

"I am sorry." For a moment Hasan let his words hang in the silence, waiting to see if you'd cut him off this time and continue ripping into him. "I should have said it to you way earlier than this. It shouldn't take Austin and Will doing an event to get me in front of you to apologize for... everything."

"No you can't just cop out with everything, you need to apologize for ruining my life!"

"Yes," he sounded exasperated and it fueled the rage in your stomach but you let him continue, actually biting your lip to keep your words in. "I am sorry for fucking up your life. Do you-" he ran a hand through his hair, "do you think I've stopped thinking about you once in the last 3 and a half years? When I saw you with that... motherfucker the first time, I wasn't even upset at you for moving on, I was fucking happy for you dude.

"And then you fucking tell me and Will the same shit you've always said, marriage is a scam, that this marriage will be no different than any other marriage. You expect me to think you're in love with him? I'm not that fucking stupid and neither are you. And he walked out immediately because he thought you were cheating on him!"

"Yes because my ex boyfriend decided to object at the wedding!" Your voice was much more a shriek than anything else, "why couldn't you have just pulled me aside beforehand instead of... ruining my life!"

"I didn't-" mean to ruin your life. The words stuck in his throat like tar, singing his breath. He leaned his head in his hand as he inched the car forward. How do you really apologize to someone for causing someone so much heartache because you were still heartsick? Hasan felt like he could throw up. He'd never be able to apologize enough, he knew that from how you were barely holding yourself back. "I'm sorry, button."

If there was anything he could say that would have broken you entirely, it was calling you button. The first sob wracked your body the hardest, remembering the last time he called you that. His lips on yours and on your cheeks, telling you he loved you, that he would never find another one for him like you. It seemed so silly now, having it bloom a sickening warmth in your stomach when it should have been disgust.

It was still in there. A small piece of him, sitting in your heart like iron, rusting the gates that you had tried so hard to reinforce.

[lvrhughes]

I Love You, I'm Sorry | C. Caufield

pairing: Cole Caufield x gn!reader?

word count: 1.1k

summary: part 2 to Do You Know How Hard I Tired, after Cole's outburst he comes over to apologize

warnings: none? cursing (a lot oops)

“Hey,” The beg interrupted by a sniffle before returning, “could you come pick me up please?” 

“Babe, what happened? Are you okay? I’ll be there in five.” 

At least you could always count on him, Arber Xhekaj. He was like a giant teddy bear, one you befriended quickly. 

No more than three minutes later, Arber was back, pulling in front of you and running out of his car. 

“Babes, what happened?” His tone was soft, his arms quickly tugging you into a hug, letting you break down into sobs. 

“Cole.” was all you managed out. 

“I’m going to kill him.” He growled, his grip tightening around you. He was the only person you had ever told about Cole, and you told him everything. 

“Don’t”

“Babes, he hurt you, he’s not getting away with this.”

“I hurt me, it’s my fault, i wasn’t supposed to fall in love.” 

“That was a shitty rule, you’ve always loved him.” 

It was the truth, yet it didn’t hurt any less. He was quick to bring you home, constantly checking you were okay before leaving for the night. 

You could hear your phone buzz on the counter, ignoring it for the peace of some random show you had thrown on, only reacting when your phone began alerting you of a call. 

His photo popped up on screen, sending chills through your body, laying the phone back on the couch beside you now. Peeking when it stopped.

Over 100 messages, 2 voicemails, and far too many snaps. He had gotten desperate. Going through everything to reach you, yet always coming up short. Making the choice to put your phone on do not disturb before returning to the TV. 

It was a peaceful half hour before there was persistent banging on your door, urging you to get up and get rid of whoever was there. 

“If you are Cole Caufield you better be thirty feet from the door right now or I bring out my throwing knives!” You yelled, slowly walking to the door, opening it quickly. 

Cole stood there, hands in his pockets, leaned against the wall. 

“You have shitty aim, your knives don’t scare me.” He grinned, earning you to slam the door in his face. “Hey!” 

“Fuck off Cole!” You yelled back, turning to the stairs leading to your room. 

Falling onto your bed as you entered, rolling over to lay on your back, staring at the roof. Until the sound of your window opening jolted you from the trance. Seeing Cole crawling through the window. 

“Cole, what the fuck?” 

“Stop ignoring me.” He said as he stood, brushing his pants off. 

“Stop being a dick.” You countered, making him roll his eyes. 

“I’m not being a dick.”

“I told you I love you and you told me it was all my fault and yelled at me to leave. Pretty dick move to me, now get the fuck out Cole!” 

“Okay, fine, I’m a dick, I’m a horrible person, but I can’t lose you.” 

Silence seemed like the best answer, leaving him to run his hands through his hair in a panic. Quickly pacing the room, leaving you sitting on the edge of your bed as he did. 

“Say something! Please God, Mon Amour, do something! Anything! Scream, yell, something that shows me you still care!” 

You shook your head, getting up to walk out the door. His hand quickly reaches out and grasps your wrist. His movements quick, dragging you into his chest as his arms wrapped around you, leaving you wiggling in his arms. 

“Cole let go!” 

“Please, please, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much, don’t leave.” You could feel his tears drip onto your shoulder, his body racking with sobs. 

“Cole, pull yourself together! This is your fault.” His arms finally dropped, letting you slip away, returning to your kitchen for a drink. 

Cole following shortly after, seeing you pour a glass of wine. His body stood behind your kitchen island, keeping distance. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m stupid, I can’t handle anything and I’m in love with you.” 

His words making you turn to stare, sipping your glass of wine while you listened before replying gently. 

“Cole, this doesn’t fix anything. You blamed me for something I didn’t have a part in, you yelled at me for falling in love with you as if I chose that.”

“I know, God I know, I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t mean anything, I just, fuck. I fell for you so quick and I thought friends with benefits would satisfy me but it didn’t. I just fell harder for you and then they chirped me for it and I couldn’t take it. I wanted so badly to yell back at them that your mine and they should be jealous but your not and now I’ve fucked it up.” 

His words said quickly, almost slurred together as you sipped your wine, listening to his panic and slur of words. 

“Breathe, Cole.” You heard the breath he took after you interrupted before continuing on another speech. 

“Cole, stop.” He paused, his whole body still, almost shaking with nerves. “You know I can’t just tell you it’s fine and I love you?” 

He was quick to interrupt with a short ‘yes I know I didn’t expect that’ before you continued. 

“But I love you so much even when you broke my heart I still wanted you, so, if you’ll agree, we’ll go slow?” 

“Yes! Yes please yes, I need you and I fucked up and I’ll be saying sorry forever. I just need you.” With each word he took a step closer, standing right in front of you, his hands reaching to cup your face.

Hesitation on his face, the way his hands froze just before touching you. Waiting for confirmation, letting you nod before he touched you. Leaning into his touch, feeling the breath he let out as you did was comfort for him. 

“Can I kiss you?” The words slipped past his lips quicker than he could think, the look of panic on his face confirming, making you laugh a little.

“Yes.” 

Without hesitation his lips fell on yours, letting you melt into the kiss, your hands running through his hair and his secure around your waist. 

“I love you so much, I’m so sorry.” He mumbled against your lips, earning you to shake your head a press further into him. 

“You’ll make it up I’m sure.” You promised against his lips, a small smile playing on yours.

[cottondo]

Hey babes! First of all, let me just say that I ADORE your writing <3333 I can tell you have a lot of passion for what you do!

If it’s alright with you, I’d like to request a Blitzø x fem! reader story. Preferably how he navigates a shy, sweet imp. I was thinking that they could have been childhood friends or something like that. Whatever you decide to do I’ll read (and love) it <3333

Thank you so much!!

aahww thank you sm lovebug🥹💞 I appreciate the kindness !

also,, really hope I got your request right?? I lowkey wasn’t exactly sure on what you wanted LMAO but I hope you like it regardless <3

Blitzo x fem! imp reader | navigate

The sound of your breath in a humid environment was all you could really focus on. Or, more so, trying to control it.

Blitzo insisted taking you on some stupid 'adventure', —if thats what he called it— and of course, it turned into a mission.

Why the hell wouldn't it! You didn't expect much less from him.

You particularly didn't care much for his mission work. Sure, okay, it seemed kinda cool sometimes- - but the,, almost double-dying part, was intimidating as fuck.

Keeping all your limbs attached to your body was really your biggest goal living down in Hell. It was easy enough to end up getting stabbed, maybe break a horn or two, or even end up in a shitty situation with some demon lords that rule rings trying to chase you down. Especially as an imp!

Maybe it was because you actually valued your death-life, and Blitz,, .. just didnt? But, regardless, you didn't wanna be here, doing this today.

A heavy hand rests on your shoulder abruptly, causing a small flinch to react from your figure.

Blitz leans in close, a crazy little smirky smile on his face. If the space between you got any smaller, you thought your oxygen levels would've been completely cut.

He managed to drag you into some hide out, a gun in his hand, army crawl position beside you in a long vent you two crawled inside of together. Shoulders harshly bumping against each other's to prover just how little space there actually was inside.

It was hot in here, and he was hotter, which only added to the uneasiness you felt in your chest.

"Don't tell me you're bitchin' out on me, y/n." He whispers to you, eyes focusing on your nerves. Blitz knew you better than just about anyone. And to be fair, he should. You two have been friends since childhood, so nothing goes unseen around him.

Your frown lightens, vision trailing to look back at him. "Nooo? I'm totally fine," you flash a cheesy smile back.

Blitzo's eyes roll, "Yea- ok, I'm teaching you combat, whether you like it or not, bitch. If youre gonna be working with us, you can't just sit around at the desk looking all cute and shit, everyday." He reminds you, "I need you to learn how to be more assertive!"

He thought you were cute? Ayee, score for you.

Your lips curl into a smirk over at him.

"As cute as I am, I can still be assertive." Now it was your turn to remind him.

It didnt look like he believed that statement. Actually, you knew he didnt.

"What happens when some dick fucker tries being an asshole to you? Pulls out a gun? One day I'm not gonna be able to get there quick enough to save your sorry ass." He frowns, some annoyance clear in his tone.

Your eyes widen, and your lips sound a gasp as you face him. "Oh my god- - is that the sound of you caring about someone other than yourself~?" You tease sarcastically, eyelids lowering casually again. Blitz turns away with a scoff.

"I didn't know that was even possible," you add onto the teasing, obviously getting some sort of rise out of him.

"Listen!" He narrows his vision. "Oka- you know damn well that I—"

His words get cut off. The sound of a door opening, and footsteps entering the room catch both of your attentions. You flinch when the door slams shut behind the figure. It was a short demon. Big horns, and an even bigger snout. He sort of looked like a dead pig. You cringe.

"Oh, fuck." Blitz smirks, raising up his gun. "This is too easy. You comin' or what?" His shoulder nudges yours. You give a dull look in reply. "Do I have a choice?"

"No, you don't." He smirks over his shoulder at you.

You follow close behind his army crawl towards the end of the vent. It wasn't far away at all, just totally felt uncomfortable being on your hands and knees in such a small space for so long.

Blitz quickly kicks out the vent door, and jumps down to the floor with his gun tightly in hand. Your eyes watch his figure as he lands perfectly in the room, alerting the demon who was on Blitz' kill list.

Damn.

It was kind of crazy how good his combat is. You know he has a lot of practice- - which does make you slightly worry from time to time about just how much trouble this job really gets him into. (And how much more it'll get you into if he continues to drag you along for the ride.)

With a small push, you slip yourself out of the vent, and land on two feet with a practiced swiftness. You've gotten enough rehearsal time to do small, crafty things, but you weren't perfect- - nothing like how Blitz was, anyway.

But at least you still looked good doing it.

The listed demon looks quickly between the both of you, Blitz ready with a crazed grin on his face while holding the gun, and you, with your knife strapped to your side, looking nothing as intimidating.

"Y/N! Grab him!" Blitz commands from you.

You hesitate for a second, "Blitz, do we really hav—"

"Cmon!" Blitz tosses his head back and groans, quickly rebounding and aiming the gun to the guys head before he got any bright ideas. "Lets dance, bitch!"

The demon, though all three of you were trapped in a very small room, does his absolute best to dodge each and every bullet. For a porky lookin dude, he was quick on his hooves. He managed to miss most if not all, bullets aimed his way.

You lunge forward, and tackle him to the ground like a tiger pouncing its prey. Blitz cheers you on, fist pumped up in the air as he watches with excitement down at you. "Thats what im talkin about, y/n! Now tie his ass up, we gotta use him as bait for the rest of them."

"The rest of them?" You glare in question.

His hand tosses you down a rope, which you had no idea where he kept it hidden all this time, but look up to Blitz anyway, as you struggled a little, straddling to keep the demon down beneath you.

Your hands desperately grab the rope, and you begin tying. Blitz insisted no helping, as this was his way of teaching you proper ways to hustle- - but you'd gladly accept it if he offered any.

First, you wrap up the struggling mans hands, then, you move down to his kicking feet. He managed to give your shoulder a good hit with his foot, but that only resulted in Blitz raising his own foot, and forcefully bringing the tip of his boot into the guys side. The demon lets out a groan.

"Damn, what the hell, asshole." You glare down at the demon who only glares back up at you through his groans. Your hands take the bandana from around his neck, and retie it around his mouth to prevent any sounds coming out of him.

"Great, now lets get the fuck out of here!" Blitz grins, picking up the hostage and throwing him over his shoulder with a small struggle. You follow along close behind, eyes checking both sides of you with some slight paranoia. It already came to the point in the day where you were very much over this job. Why the fuck couldn't you guys have just stayed in the circus business?

"Y/N! Take out those assholes up on the catwalks!" Blitz points to a few more demons that were going to be next on your list for the day.

While the two of you ran for the far exit, your eyes follow up to where Blitz was looking.

You spot them. "Got it!" Your voice beams, and pulling out your gun, you aim for the straps that kept the walk attached to the ceiling. One shot, you took the one side of the catwalks down, which results in the demons falling and tumbling down to the floor of the warehouse.

"Fuck yeah!" Blitz laughs as he uses the tied hostage as a punching bag for other demons that try to stop the two of you. He swings the hostage demon around, using him as his own personal weapon, causing some slight laughter out of you, to which both you and blitz were surprised about.

The demons you caused to fall, start charging your way. With a quick thought, you take out the knife strapped to your side, and get ready to use it. Blitz grins over at you. "Remember to aim for the neck!" He calls out from ahead of you.

Your smile brightens at the teamwork you both have. "Thanks!"

A hand reaches for you, but with a stealthy slide to the side, you duck under the arms and push the torso of a demon down to the ground.

This was getting . . oddly easy.

You hop over the demon on the floor, and smile brightly over at Blitz.

With you catching up to his side, your lips stretch into a grin as you open the door to the warehouse for him. “Did you see?” Your question was almost eager sounding. Breaking out of the shyness of the situation, you’ve actually gained a bit more combat knowledge.

Blitz grins over at you, throwing the hostage to the ground as the both of you make it out, and find a safer area to catch your breaths.

“Hell yeah bitch!” Blitz looked so happy, giddy, even. It was so freaking cute.

“I knew teaching you my way would pay off.” He crosses his arms, a soft smirk on his face.

Your face flushed lightly, the shyness beginning to take over just a bit. Your shoulders shrug upward, and the smile on your face was light. “Thanks,”

“I’m proud of you.” Blitz’s voice is quieter than his usual loud and obnoxious form, but you still catch it. Your eyes widen a bit, and staring at him in a small shock is all you could do for a second. “Really?”

Blitz looks flustered, so you decide to let any teasing go. It wasn’t often he would give real compliments. Even if he did know you long enough, to.

“Of course, fuck face.” He replies, rolling his eyes with a smile still stuck to his face.

You bump his shoulder, grinning just a little harder than before. “Learned from the best.”

______________________

really sorry its not my best work,, just allot goin on in life rn but I still hope you liked it anyway ! <3

[hutchersonsgurl]

Can I have this dance? - Sean Anderson

Paring female reader and Sean Anderson

WARNING fluff

Synopsis You and your boyfriend Sean had a big fight before prom and he comes over to your house to surprise you and make it up to you

❦︎✹✧✦✷✶ ❦︎✹✧✦✷✶ ❦︎✹✧✦✷✶ ❦︎✹✧✦✷✶ ❦︎✹✧✦✷✶ ❦︎✹✧✦✷✶ 

you are lying on your bed doing homework that day you had a fight at school with your boyfriend Sean for getting in trouble with the law again. He has called your phone 5 times but you have been ignoring his calls, not wanting to fight with him

➜﹐➜➜ ➜﹐➜﹏➜﹐﹏➜﹐﹏➜﹐﹏➜﹐﹏➜﹐﹏➜﹐﹏

30 MINUTES LATER >>>>>

You hear something hit your window you don't get up till the second thud you open you walk over to your window and see Sean at the bottom he has a rope with a picnic basket

He pulls up the rope till the basket makes it to your window you just smile down at him and pull the basket in within a split second Sean climbs in through your window and enters your room

" What are you doing Sean I thought you were grounded?' you ask

"I am but nothing is gonna keep me away from my girl," He says pushing his thumb over your bottom lip

"You make it hard to be mad at you, you know that right? You say melting into his touch

"well we both know I'm an idiot and I can't go to sleep knowing you're mad at me so I brought you some food" He replies

Sean pulls out a blanket and puts it on the floor pulling out pizza and chocolate-covered strawberries

"Look babe I'm sorry for doing something stupid again I get why you are mad at me but please talk to me," He says

"I get it that you are still getting used to your stepdad Hank and you are having problems adjusting but going out and getting arrested or God forbid you got hurt I couldn't handle it I just can't. That's why I get mad each time I hear you got in trouble because I don't wanna lose you " you respond with a tear falling down the side of your face

Sean looks at you for a few minutes and sighs feeling guilty he slowly leans over and kisses your forehead and wipes your tear away

"I'm not going anywhere baby and if it makes you feel better I'll do a cross my heart promise to not do anything stupid again," He says

"Fine but you better mean it, Sean I'm serious" you reply back

The two of you make the promise and sean crosses his heart that he will not do anything like that again.

"Sooo can you stop calling me by my name now? it feels weird" he asks

"Yes babe I'm sorry for calling you by your name" you answer in a chuckle

Sean gets up and turns your stereo on and offers you his hand

"Can I have this dance with my beautiful girlfriend?" He asks

"Yes you may my handsome boyfriend," you say as you give him your hand

He presses play and the song starts to play

The two of you start dancing around your room he spins you around and he dips you a few times and eventually after a few minutes the two of you stop dancing and look into each other's eyes

"I love you so much I can't imagine my life without you" He says looking at you lovely

"I love you more then you know" you say as you kiss his nose

"Now that we made up let's go eat I'm starving" sean says as he pulls you back over to where the food was

The two of you chat and eat the rest of the night away

----------------------------------------------------

I had fun writing this I just watched high school musical 3 again and this idea came to me

NOT EDITED

[jmagnabo92]

Funny Moments of Others with First Prince

Here's a list (in no particular order of funny moments of others with regards to First Prince):

Cash opening the door of the supply closet: "This looks Cozy" - "Yep, we're really Bonding."

Bromance Alerts - Comment "OMFG, Make Out Already."

Luns: "Instead, let's talk about your little European vacation. Can I expect a joint Christmas present from you and the Prince this year." Alex avoids it, later, "Okay, okay. He's a looker, huh?" "Yeah, I mean, if you're into, like, fairy tail princes." "Is anyone not?" "I'm not." "Right."

Alex calls on Christmas. Apologizes and goes to hang up. Henry: "Alex, Christ. It's fine. It's half two here, everyone's gone to bed. Except Bea. Say hi, Bea. "Hi Alex! Henry's got his candy-cane Jim-jams on -" "That's quite enough."

Later, June: "Oh my god, Alex, you made a friend!" ... "I'm so proud of you." "... He's not my friend..." ... "Nope. Tell me everything about your new best friend, who a royal. That's so bougie of you. Who would have guessed it? Omg this is like all those romantic comedies where the girl hires a male escort to pretend to be her wedding date and then falls in love with him for real." "That is not at all what this is like."

June's reaction to the Polo Match: "I'm sorry, Zahra said you're bailing on the fund-raiser this weekend because you're going to a polo match in Connecticut?" "Listen, I'm trying to keep up a geopolitical public relations ruse here." "Dude, people are writing fan fiction about ya'll -" "Yeah, Nora sent me that." " - I think you can give it a rest." "The Crown wants me there!" (in his thoughts, Alex notes a look that he should be concerned about if he wasn't thinking about Henry's mouth.

At the match. Amy: "I don't like that look. You look... sweaty." "I'm gonna go, uh, say hi to Henry." "Please don't elaborate." "Yeah, I know. Plausible deniability." "I don't know what you possibly mean." "Sure. Yep." "Enjoy your summit with the English delegation."

Zahra sends him a link to the "Best Bromance Ever" and writing "Good work, you little shit." Oh, Zahra, if only you knew.

Alex's Hickey. Zahra: "Is that a Hickey?" "I... um, no?" "Do I look stupid to you, Alex? Who is giving you hickeys and why have you not gotten them to sign an NDA." "OMG, if I needed an NDA, you would know. Chill." Zahra does not appreciate being told to Chill and goes onto threaten him.

Pez answering Alex's phone call to Henry. "Alexander, babes. How lovely for you to give your auntie Pezza a ring on this magnificent Sunday Morning." "Hi Pez, where are y'all?" "We are out for a drive, taking in the scenery of Carmarthenshire. Say Good Morning to your strumpet, Henry." "Good Morning, strumpet. What's got you up at four in the morning this time?" ... later, Alex gets Henry to say the name of where he's staying and Pez says, "I was hoping you two would start talking dirty, please do go on."

There's more but this is long. This book is just so funny.

[ghostofasecretary]

feelings sorting

how am i feeling? stressed. numb. overwhelmed. bad.

how does my body feel? floaty, cold, stiff. the floating started *after* i took my emergency anxiety meds, which is. annoying.

ok. put on socks and a jacket; that might start to help.

i haven't watered my plants in three weeks. been longer since i vacuumed, also.

haven't sent an email i need to send or a texted someone back.

i am so, so--i feel like i've just failed and failed and failed, and not just in a general "not getting what i wanted at the times i wanted it" way but in a daily "i haven't been eating food or giving myself tea or keeping my promises to myself that i would *do things to make my life better*" way.

ok. watered the plants.

i keep thinking "i want to give up" and i don't know what i mean by that. what do you mean, you want to give up? i mean i'm tired of picking myself up off the ground over and over again at both literal and metaphorical expense to fling myself at things that don't love me back. i mean i want to go to grad school but i DON'T want to tell my recommenders "haha yeah i got into [extremely prestigious institution] but didn't go because i'm too poor to afford it and too unimpressive to win the lottery that still calls itself merit-based." i mean i don't understand why i'm so tired all the time, and why doing the things i love scares me, and why studying is so hard, and why applying myself is so hard, and i keep sitting still for hours and hours and days and days and my whole WEEK went by and i hardly NOTICED because each day was the same. more or less. somehow.

Thursday feels like it didn't happen.

i don't want to skip poetry this week but i didn't prepare a single thing i was meant to and there's no point to it if i haven't prepared because i don't have the vocab i need to do this shit casually and anyways i'm past the point of doing stuff casually, i'm better at this than i used to be, i'm meant to be better

i'm so tired of myself.

backing out is easy, right? it's meant to be easy? "Hey, So sorry but I didn't make time for this thing that makes my life feel worthwhile this week, this passion project I've spent years on, the thing I feel like actually makes me interesting and knowledgeable enough to justify being a dumbass in other areas"--wow, it's nice to speak freely

i can tell i'm being crazy. i don't care. not saying it will only make me more crazy and less productive/capable of getting what i want/trapped in a cycle of Avoidance for things that Feel Bad.

my jaw's tense, my mouth's burnt, my throat is dry. drink some water. write an email.

i have, in fact, been pretty damn diligent about pursuing my goals for years. let's just--fucking--a bad month does not ruin you. a bad day does not ruin you. it's embarassing not to be prepared! it feels bad! i don't like it! nevertheless if i had the resources to be prepared i would be, and as i am not it is fair to assume i lack the resources, and my priority should be *getting* said resources so i don't *explode and die.* as it were.

placing this much weight upon my academics, on *not looking stupid,* is also very embarassing, but to be cringe is to be human and i'm stuck with myself.

listen. babe. do you think you can do poetry today? no. okay. that's fine. go communicate that like an adult.

(if i'd been that diligent wouldn't it have worked? if i'd been that diligent wouldn't i fucking have my goddamn life in order right now? ...does everyone you know who's worked hard have their just desserts for it, babe? does ANYONE? ask any of your mentors who are winning and they'll tell you it's at least half luck. privilege matters, your work matters, your character matters, and also sometimes people luck out and sometimes they don't.)

god this is excruciating.

EMAIL SENT.

i'm gonna resume this in a bit, i think, but i don't want to lost this so i'm gonna post it

ok. back at it. person texted.

i think the anxiety meds were a good call. talking to myself in public was also a good call. i wish i'd done this earlier but there's many things i might wish different and so instead i'll just be glad to be alive and moving.

i need to eat. and i need to start my grad school apps and email my recommenders politely, with respect and decency, without tearing myself down. firstly because tearing yourself down in front of others puts them in an uncomfortable position, and secondly because if you don't speak of yourself with respect you are doing an unkindness unto yourself.

oh, and i got an email about Job Onboarding. yay. (i have a job now btw, Go Me. that's not nothing. that was a significant source of stress for months and tackling it took a week, two on the outside, and soon i'll be making money and socializing more which is good for the monkey brain and improving my baseline levels of stress.)

plan:

- go to the bathroom oh my god

- eat + do dishes

- ~~account set-up~~

- schedule other job stuff

- vacuum the second half of the room

- grad school list; make/re-activate accounts; make spreadsheet of required docs and list of people to email

- make + eat dinner

- i would LIKE to a) catch up on my cards, b) Knit, and c) listen to my audiobook. and i'd like to do these things on purpose for fun. go me. let's try. if you don't get through all of Grad School List that's okay but PLEASE start in on it

(previously in q: what's up with mystery package from hell (figure out commute during lunch, change list if needed) (actually i do not care) (sent email, no response))

head hurty. back and body aches. how about i make some tea before i finish vacuuming.

update: i did not finish tea before vacuuming. i did not even start tea. things are Off The Floor which is good, but On My Bed which is less good. need to put the vacuum up also. blargh.

mystery mail situation is resolved thanks to the power of emails! huzzah.

3 hours 40 minutes after taking my anxiety meds i feel, uh, A Big Headache. tired in a drained way. i have a few things on my list left (*start* grad school shenanigizing, put up vacuum, make tea, make food (is banana bread + yogurt + fruit + seeds an adequate dinner, who knows not me. probably not given what else i've eaten lately. hush), eat food, Do Relaxation). i feel i have been more effective than i have been at improving my circumstances. i've been meaning to vacuum for actual weeks, and i managed to reorganize my bookshelf and put up some new books that have been languishing on the floor for two weeks in the process. i went through some very annoying job stuff that furthers my goal of making, like, Any Money At All this month! cancelling poetry today was fine actually. all my conversations with people were positive. i am kind of pleased with myself.

i think i may try some grad school bullshit now and THEN do upstairs taskz and then have a chill evening. maybe i will even vidya game, who knows. okay? okay!

evening update: i love approaching baking like it's cooking. instead of using a real recipe i used my two old bananas + 2 remaining carrots + bread like ingredients in quantities approximately similar in ratio and measure both to about three other recipes. it'll be a bit before i know how it tastes as it needs to cool but i'm quite pleased by the appearance, at least!

[menelaiad]

Agamemnon is explicitly stated to be hot/muscular. It's in the source material. Books 2 and 3 in particular. I highly doubt being compared to the Gods meant being "chubby" or super old. The ancient text obviously wouldn't say "ripped" because that wasn't in their vocabulary. But they refer to him as everything else that such a body would imply.

And Achilles was saying things in anger in Book 1. Everyone forgets how in Book 23, Achilles pretty much retracts everything he said and claims Agamemnon is the best natural warrior which he was.

tldr; im a petty bitch

y'all are SO PRESSED ON THIS LMAOOO I'M CRYING

'ripped' isn't in their vocabulary?? but 'hot' and 'muscular' are? really?

AGAIN about your last point, cause people who are so pressed about this just keep ignoring it: YOU CAN BE A WARRIOR. AND NOT BE CONVENTIONALLY 'RIPPED'. NOTHING ABOUT A HUMAN BEING - A HUMAN MAN HAVING A SLIGHT TUMMY WILL STOP HIM BEING ABLE TO RUN, FIGHT, KILL PEOPLE AND BE A WARRIOR. YOUR WEIGHT IS NOT AN AUTOMATIC INDICATOR OF YOUR FITNESS LEVEL/ABILITIES.

that's y'alls prejudice about larger people coming through. this stupid belief that the ancient world represented 'the peak masculine alpha ideal' no????? this whole 'if man strong and can stab and have sex with woman then man must be muscley and ripped cause that make man sexy' like shut up.

it's baffling to me that you're all so heated on this. the mere thought of a human man having a tummy is sending you all west. you can't cope. a human man who consumed copious amounts of alcohol (because ancient greeks just did???) and probably had a very rich diet. having tummy??? NO. ILLEGAL.

im sorry but im cracking up over here. i couldnt care less whether people think aga has a 16-pack, that he's skinny as a twig, that he's fat, that he's not, that he's somewhere in between - idc. but your adamancy against 'slight tummy' aga. is just ..... fatphobic. and i never thought i'd type that word out being a fucking classics blog lmaooo.

i have shared so many DUMB opinions on this blog. from menelaus' teeth to odyssues' hairy feet and yet the thing that gets the most reaction from people - is agamemnon's weight.

that's what's pissing me off. everything else? whatever have your own opinion, you weird menelaus girl. but the sECOND i say why i think i character might be a lil chubby OOF ouTRAGE. IM A FOOL.

also your point is just so incredible. my issue isn't with you thinking aga was a ripped sex god crafted by aphrodite herself. it's your use of the word 'explicitly' cause aga's size (in regards to his weight) is NEVER explicitly stated ANYWHERE. so we're both just having our own opinions. but mine has got you so pressed????

i own a couple translations of the iliad. lets look at some. and see the descriptions of aga, shall we? cause i know exactly which sections you mean in book 2 and 3. contrary to your apparent belief, i have read the iliad.

we'll do book 2 first to make it all easier to follow:

PETER GREEN

“among them the lord Agamemnōn, in eyes and head like Zeus who delights in the thunderbolt, like Arēs in girth, and with the chest of Poseidōn. As one steer in a herd of cattle stands out, far above them all— the bull, distinguished among the cows assembled round it— such a one on that day Zeus rendered Atreus’s son, preeminent among many, of heroes the foremost.”

... again. nothing really? girthy??? eyes like zeus (nice)??? tall??? nothing about weight here babes.

CAROLINE ALEXANDER

there to go into combat, and with them was lord Agamemnon— his eyes and head like Zeus who hurls the thunderbolt, his girth like Ares, his chest like Poseidon’s. As when an ox stands out from all others in the herd, a bull who is preeminent among the gathered cattle, so did Zeus on that day render the son of Atreus conspicuous amid the multitude, outstanding among warriors.

pretty much the same?? gets called an 'ox' here though. ooooh

ROBERT FAGLES.

and there in the midst strode powerful Agamemnon, eyes and head like Zeus who loves the lightning, great in the girth like Ares, god of battles, broad through the chest like sea Lord Poseidon. Like a bull rising head and shoulders over the herds, a royal bull rearing over his flocks of driven cattle — so imposing was Atreus' son, so Zeus made him that day, towering over fighters, looming over armies.

just more girth stuff. that can mean his shoulders?? his chest?? his ass? bro we don't know. was aga just THICC. his cheeks always alerting the trojans???

ROBERT FITZGERALD.

Agamemnon's lordly mien was like the mien of Zeus whose joy is lightning; oalken-waisted as Ares, god of war, he seemed, and deep-chested as Lord Poseidon, and as a great bull in his majesty towers supreme amid a grazing herd, so on that dav Zeus made the son of Atreus tower over his host, supreme among them.

i like this one tbf. this one has got more meat on it. 'oaken waisted'. nice nice. again. i don't see oak trees are particullarly 'narrow' but hey. interpretation is what makes this field so great.

RICHARD LATTIMORE

“powerful Agamemnon, with eyes and head like Zeus who delights in thunder, like Ares for girth, and with the chest of Poseidon; like some ox of the herd pre-eminent among the others, a bull, who stands conspicuous in the huddling cattle; such was the son of Atreus as Zeus made him that day, conspicuous among men, and foremost among the fighters.”

STANLEY LOMBARDO

To enter battle, and Lord Agamemnon Moved among them like Zeus himself, The look in his eyes, the carriage of his head, With a torso like Ares', or like Poseidon's. Picture a bull that stands out from the herd Head and horns above the milling cattle— Zeus on that day made the son of Atreus A man who stood out from the crowd of heroes.

SEE this one we're not even talking about his LITERAL appearance but how he's holding himself. how he acts. his CONFIDENCE. cool take, stan. i like it.

STEPHEN MITCHELL

“and among them was Agamemnon, his splendid eyes and head like almighty Zeus’s, his thighs like the thighs of Ares, his chest like Poseidon’s. As a bull stands out in a herd above all the others, sovereign among the cows as they graze in a field: just so, on that day, did Lord Zeus make Agamemnon supreme over all the warriors massed before Troy.”

LOVE the thigh mention Mitchell. nice nice.

'The ancient text obviously wouldn't say "ripped" because that wasn't in their vocabulary. But they refer to him as everything else that such a body would imply.'

bro all i'm getting is the word 'girthy'?? if you want me to be a bitch about it, that's not a word i'd put with someone who is 'ripped'. if anything, they're implying he got junk in his trunk. i truly hand on heart. cannot see anything in the book 2 translations that imply or indicate to me that he does not have a tummy. that he is rocking a six pack. WHICH IS FINE. we can play with it and form our own opinions. but you're THIS IMPLIES .... is wrong??? it doesn't imply anything dude????

all we can infer from any of the book two stuff is that he's a man who is larger than the other men around him - literally? metaphorically? we dont know. (which is all horseshit anyway cause priam later goes on to say he's a short arse which is helpful). and that he shares qualities with the gods. again, literally? metaphorically? bit of both? we. don't. know.

TIME FOR BOOK 3. the priam and helen thirst.

PETER GREEN

“and to put a name for me to that huge warrior down there, that Achaian leader, of such stature and so strong: others there may be taller still by a head, and yet so fine a man have I never set eyes on, nor one so majestic in bearing—he looks to be of royal blood.” helen later calls him a 'strong spearman'

CAROLINE ALEXANDER

tell me the name of this gigantic man, who is this Achaean man, good and great? To be sure there are other men even greater in height, but I have never beheld with my eyes a man so handsome, nor so majestic; for he seems a kingly man. helen later calls him a 'powerful spear-warrior'

ROBERT FAGLES

“ tell me the name of that tremendous fighter. Look, who's that Achaean there, so stark and grand? Many others afield are much taller, true, but I have never yet set eyes on one so regal, so majestic . . . That man must be a king!” helen later calls him a 'strong spearman'

ROBERT FITZGERALD

Come, tell me who the big man is out there, who is that powerful figure? Other men are taller, but I never saw a soldier clean-cut as he, as royal in his bearing: he seems a kingly man. helen later calls his a 'formidable warrior'

RICHARD LATTIMORE

“You could tell me the name of this man who is so tremendous; who is this Achaian man of power and stature? Though in truth there are others taller by a head than he is, yet these eyes have never yet looked on a man so splendid nor so lordly as this: such a man might well be royal.” helen later calls him a 'strong spearfighter'

STANLEY LOMBARDO

Now tell me, who is that enormous man Towering over the Greek troops, handsome, Well-built? I've never laid eyes on such A fine figure of a man. He looks like a king. helen later calls him a 'strong warrior'

STEPHEN MITCHELL

“Tell me now, what is the name of that splendid man who is standing down there, so powerful and so tall. To be sure, there are other men who are even taller, but never before have I seen a man so majestic, so splendid in form and bearing. He must be a king.” helen later calls him a 'mighty soldier'

again. in all of these - nothing. all that's consistent is that he's not the tallest man at troy. which means ..... very little ASDFGHJK. there is Nothing concrete here. nothing that points us more one way than it does the other.

ultimately, dude, what we've got is.... nothing. nothing concrete. nothing definitive. i can't say you're wrong and you can't say i'm wrong.

i saw the phrase 'wine sack' and interpreted it my way and you saw it and interpreted it differently. but books 2 and 3 certainly don't back either of us up more definitively.

and in regards to his age. same thing. you can't say i'm wrong and i can't say you're wrong. but i've explained my reasonings for aga's age using sources HERE

idk man. if you're looking for an EXPLICITLY YOUNG CHISELED ABS LEGEND MALE CHARACTER. look elsewhere.

[targaryenofrph]

Patterns by Kelsea Ballerini Sentence Starters

Change the pronouns and tense as needed for your verses.

I've got patterns

I'm coming apart at the seams

I like the feeling of the feeling that leaves me staring at the ceiling the morning after

Maybe I'm the one to blame for doing the same old same

It's so much deeper than under my skin

Is this a battle that I'll ever win?

When does it start, and when does it end?

Will I outgrow all these patterns?

Will I unknow all these patterns?

You just made the eggs and turned your head

I know you're not impressed with my lack of sticking to the Bible

Maybe we got into a few fights

So I know it took a little tough love to become the woman that you're proud of

My priorities were out of balance

You told me to go but wished I was home

I wouldn't wanna do it with anybody else

Everything that's heavy, I check it at the door, kind of feel like I don't need it anymore

I got some bones of old skeletons from the old house at the dead end

I got baggage, but I'm moving in

We both slept on a mattress with "I love you" people

So I know the weight and gravity of key chains with same keys

if you want that "Welcome" mat, then roll it out with me

Cause home is when you're with me

I like the feeling runnin' with the wind

That's why I went and did what I did

He and I both had our guns to sling, damn, that showdown was embarrassing

I'm still here brushing off a couple things

It doesn't scare or bother you

Never knew I'd have a round two

Take my heart, but take it slow, 'cause this ain't my first rodeo

Love's the wild, wild west, ain't gotta tell me that

Tell me that it's gonna be alright even though we never know if we're gonna make it out alive

When it comes to me and you, I can't not try

I get existential

I get overwhelmed

Got two hundred seventy-something things to reply to

You put on the boots I like for dinner on Friday night

You say they're uncomfortable but you wear 'em anyway

If I went insane and didn't know my name would you stay beside of me, reminding me?

If I gambled away my money, would you back away?

If my jokes weren't funny, would you laugh?

How much do you love me?

Do I sound needy and dramatic?

We said that it was over, what'd you send 'em for?

Two things can be true

I'll love and hate you

I'll be your best and your worst day

I'll be your blessing and curse

Sometimes I'll cut and ghost but sometimes I'll get too close

You're nothing and everything I got to lose

I wish it was that easy when it comes to me and you

No use in diggin' up bones from the grave

When it's over, it's over

I could take a deep dive in the details

I could hide, I could cry 'til I throw up

It's as simple as "We broke up"

I could call my friends and bitch about it

Tale as old as time, I don't gotta wrap my head around it

Another boy driving off mad in a black truck

I have a nasty habit, leaving before I get left

You'll think my light's on yellow when I'm keeping you on "Read"

Stonewall my emotions even when I wanna cry tears as wide as the ocean

One fight, too many 3 A.M.s, I guess we're broken up

You're like, "This is just a conversation, baby, what the fuck?"

Now I'm screaming, "Goodbye," out like it means "I love you"

I'm better on my own

It's all I've ever known

Wait! Don't go!

I'm codependent with my independence through and through

How stupid of me to think you wouldn't listen

so once again, my head and heart are at war

Can I take it back now? Can we make it last?

Feelings ain't the facts, just the patterns of my past

I'd follow you to the moon

You know I'm ride-or-die for you

But if you want a chase, I won't run

I ain't gonna beg for your love

I wanna go the distance, babe

I can't do it if I betray all the way before you work I've done

If you want "Sorry" on my knees, that can't be me

Is this just way too tough?

Are you not strong enough?

God, you're all I want but not like this

It's almost like I don't care if I even know how to swim

You could save me, maybe I could save myself

If lovin' you is an ocean, then I'm in deep

I grew up wishing I could close off the way my dad did

That man never felt a damn thing he didn't wanna feel

I've burned too many miles trying to ride out all the sadness

You can't outdrive pain, someday it's gonna take the wheel

Can't be alone but don't wanna get close to anybody

Don't wanna bare teeth but don't wanna look weak, it's a tough spot

But I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running

I wanna be the one that you're callin' when you're drunk

When you're dropping every ball, I'll be there to pick 'em up

'Cause that's just what you do when you love someone

That's the choice you choose, when you love someone

No conditions, I'd follow you to the moon, no suit

I would, would you?

If somebody does you wrong, baby, hold my beer

Yeah, I'd still die for you then haunt you when I'm dead

I'll think about these nights when we lost count of all the "That's what friends are for"

I gave hell a piece of my mind

It gave me a hit to my pride

But I came out on the other side

This time, last year, the heartbreak was undeniable

Day by day, I became unrecognizable

Makin' my rounds, shootin' my shot

Standin' my ground, pissin' people off

People thinkin' that I've changed used to be my biggest fear

It's gonna be okay

You'll live to see the day when you're gonna say look at me now

Are you safe on the road you chose?

Did you make it home?

[zynchi]

regrets

content: angst, hurt, major character death (1.8k words)

pairings: leona kingscholar x fem!reader

playlist: 7 years x latch

author's note: i wrote this like a year ago sorry for the grammatical errors. i recommend the song mentioned above while reading (￣(ｴ)￣)ﾉ

"leooonaaaaaa~"

"oh my God. the annoying rat found me." leona frowned.

"hi, leonababes!" you sat down beside him under the tree. as always, he seems to be going to sleep.

"what do you want, herbivore?"

"nothing much. just let me sleep beside you." you smiled brightly, attempting to lay your head on leona's chest, but the beastman quickly shoved your head away and growled.

"i thought you said 'beside me', not 'on me'" he glared at you, who was now pouting.

"hmph. fine. i know you're just shy, leonababes" you giggled, finally laying down while resting your head on your arms. this is not what you planned, but oh well, never mind, as long as leona's with you, you're fine.

you looked at the man's face. how beautiful. you've seen many handsome boys before, but no one caught your attention except for leona. he has this unexplainable aura that made you fall in love since who-knows-when.

"you're very handsome, leona, you know that?" you complimented him. when he looked back at you with those pretty green eyes, you knew you were falling deeper and deeper. you want to touch his scar but are afraid leona will not like it.

"uh-huh. But who cares anyway" leona shut his eyes aggressively; his ears are moving.

"...me, Leona. i love you..."

___________

"WAKEY WAKEY SLEEPYHEAAADD!!!" leona was awoken by this loud noise in his room caused by none other than the stupid herbivore who was currently jumping non-stop on his bed to wake him up.

"arghh. Shut up, herbivore. It's still early for you to be noisy." he rubs his temple.

"nuh-uh! it's already quarter to seven, and you still have a class?" you placed your arms on your waist, looking like a mother teaching her child a lesson.

"i won't attend any of it, so scram now" leona was about to get back to sleep when you pulled his hand upwards to stop him. "no, no, no. that's a big NO. you'll attend your class, okay? or else the teachers will keep on bugging me about it."

"ugh, why would they do that?" leona finally stood up.

you helped him dress. "because I'm your girlfriend?" you said, now buttoning his yellow vest.

leona raised a brow. "since when?"

"eh? I thought I was your girlfriend. I already confessed to you, remember?" you sighed.

"you did?"

"don't tell me you've forgotten about it?" you flashed a sad face. "i'll be upset, you know."

leona looked at your reflection while you were braiding his hair. "did I even accept your feelings back then?"

you crossed your arms. "oh no, not at all. you didn't even say anything after that, so I took your silence as a yes." you rolled your eyes and got back to work. "there. done!"

"your braid's a mess," leona commented though he's not bothering to fix it.

"what would you expect? i'm not good at tying other people's hair, okay?"

you both gave yourselves a final touch before getting ready to go out. leona was the first one to walk out when you called him.

"hey, leona! you forgot something!" you yelled, making leona turn to you. his face has the word 'WHAT' written on it.

"don't expect me to say thank you, herbivore. i didn't ask for your hel--"

"nah, it's not that. you forgot to say, 'i love you, babe!" you chuckled, walked closer to leona, and kissed him on his cheeks before running away. "do your best in your classes!"

"ugh, she's more annoying than ruggie," leona said, touching his cheek.

__________

sunday morning. leona thought he would enjoy his weekend, but how could he when this little furball was in front of him, smiling widely while holding a huge backpack?

"WAAAAAHH!!! i missed you, leona-ojitaaaan!" cheka jumped to hug leona.

"arg--cheka, get off, you're heavy" leona almost throw the child away.

"why are you here, huh?" leona asked the cub, who was now exploring his room, touching things.

"i want to see you, leona oji-tan! i want to play with you! i even brought my toys for us to play with hehe" cheka opened his bag, and leona could see the numerous stuffed toys.

he sighed. "how about we'll just go to a theme park? is that okay with you?"

cheka's eyes became starry. "a theme park? YEYY!" cheka was thrilled, and little did he know that leona was planning to lose him there and come back right after they arrived.

"good morning leonababessss---oh! is that cheka?!" the two lions turned to the door when another loud voice came in without even knocking. great. another annoying person is here too.

you rushed to cheka and bowed your head. "i've been wanting to meet you, cheka, your highness. you're so cutttee" you hugged cheka and pinched his cheeks repeatedly.

leona growled at the sight of you two. he couldn't stand it, so he forcefully pulled you and cheka apart. "cheka is hurtin', herbivore. you'd bette-"

"i'm not! I'm actually enjoying her hugs and pats!" cheka cut his Leona-ojitan's words. he smiled at you. "hello, I'm Cheka! nice to meet you too!"

you swore that you could die now with no regrets because of the cuteness of this little angel.

"hihihi, I'm Y/N! i'm your oji-tan's girlfriend! that means I'll be your auntie too!" you happily introduced yourself to the child.

"you wish herbivore," leona said.

"YEYYYY!!!" cheka exclaimed, and the two annoying creatures held each other's hands to spin around. leona sighed in frustration. too much annoyance for his weekend, really.

suddenly, a wise idea came into leona's mind while looking at the two.

"oi, herbivore. listen here...."

________

"i wonder where leona is right now...i thought he said he'll buy ice cream for us," you pouted while holding cheka's little paw-i mean, hand. they are already at the theme park, and it's getting dark now. leona was with you when you went here, but right now, he was nowhere to find.

cheka started to doze off. you noticed it and offered to carry the child, so he could sleep better. you both were in front of the carousel and had already finished trying out all the rides there.

"if it isn't Y/N. hello, what are you doing here?" you raised your head to see the green-haired man who called your name. "oh, hi trey! i'm waiting for leona. we couldn't find him anywhere, so yeah," you said, smiling sadly.

"then, would you like me to send you home? i could carry cheka if you want" trey didn't even finish his words because someone appeared behind him.

leona was there, holding two ice creams in his hands, glaring at trey. trey scratched his neck and smiled awkwardly. "i think your companion is already here. anyway, i gotta go too! bye, Y/N!"

you looked at Leona. "where were you?"

"i bought ice creams," he simply answered. the truth is, he was watching them from afar and originally planned to leave you two alone and ditch you, but when he saw the green-haired moron approaching his herbivore and Cheka, he changed his mind instantly.

cheka's eyes slowly opened, becoming bright when he saw his Leona-ojitan.

"leona-ojitan!"

he clung to Leona's arms like a monkey. "wow, it's the ice cream!" leona handed the other one to Cheka and was about to give the other one to you when he felt your head rest on his shoulder, and you were already asleep.

"auntie Y/N's exhausted!" cheka pointed at the sleeping you.

leona gently pats the girl's head and whispers something to your ear that Cheka could swear something along the lines of: "rest well herbivore."

________

"ruggie told me was around here--there! sleepy lion spotted!" you chuckled and slowly made your way to leona, who was napping peacefully on the ground.

I feel we're close enough

I wanna lock in your love

I think we're close enough

Could I lock in your love, baby?

you quietly approached him. your eyes wandered at leona's appearance, from head to toe, before slowly lying beside him. you rested your head on his arm and made yourself comfortable by placing an arm around his chest.

I feel we're close enough

I wanna lock in your love

I think we're close enough

Could I lock in your love, baby?

"i wish that this won't end, leona." you whispered. "i love youuuu" little did you know that leona is actually awake and is completely aware of your presence. the lion-man let out a purr when you hugged him tightly.

_______

leona's body can't move. he was shocked when you suddenly threw yourself away as a shield when an unknown object came flying your friends' way. you were just having a joint class in the field when it happened. the huge thing could endanger them, but you managed to protect them.

the students and professor vargas surrounded the object to prevent it from exploding, just in case. meanwhile, your friends came to aid you, who was bleeding badly. after recovering from his shock, leona immediately rushed his way to you, shoving the students who were on his way.

"herbivore, get a hold of yourself!" he kneeled and placed your head in his arms. you are coughing blood, and it also covers your body.

Now I've got you in my space

I won't let go of you

Got you shackled in my embrace

I'm latching on to you

"..leona"

"don't talk, stupid! you'll lose more blood if you-"

you mustered all your remaining strength to reach leona's face and caressed it gently to calm the man.

you looked around. so many familiar faces everywhere. your friends are there, and they were told about what had happened. you smiled. at least you got to see them one last time...

Now I've got you in my space

I won't let go of you

Got you shackled in my embrace

I'm latching on to you

leona held the hand that was on his face. you looked back at him, and your eyes were watering. "i still want to marry you..."

"then marry me," leona said without hesitation. "marry me....so stay."

a tear rolled down your cheeks. "how I wish i could...i'm happy to meet you. you fulfilled my dream." you managed to smile one more time. "i love you, leona."

leona closed his eyes and gave you the first and last kiss of goodbye. the moment your lips parted, you were no longer breathing.

"hi, leonababes!"

"...me, leona. i love you..."

"i wish that this won't end leona. i love youuu"

"nah, it's not that. you forgot to say, 'i love you, babe!"

a tear rolled down his cheeks without him knowing. "i love you too, herbivore..."

"you finally said it, huh? it's only unfortunate that she could no longer hear it from you" trey wiped his tears as he watched his close friend die.

[despairs-memorial]

✏️ forgot to mention for other post, but put it for whoever you like

Generating Incorrect Quotes

I'm not a coward, so I'm doing ALL of them, lmao!

The Polycule

*The Squad when asked about their earlier confession of love* Ibuki: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you. Hajime: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way... Mikan: *has a panic attack* What confession? Kazuichi: *winks* I know, babe. You like me too. Gundham: So what? Are you going to date me or not? Sonia: It was a dare.

Hajime: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex? Sonia: Sex. Gundham: Seriously, answer faster. Sonia: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you. Gundham: It’s like a giant hug. Hajime: Kazuichi, what about you? What would you give up sex or food? Kazuichi: Food. Hajime: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs? Kazuichi: Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice. Mikan: What about you Ibuki? What would you give up sex or food? Ibuki: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard. Kazuichi: No, you gotta pick one. Ibuki: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

Gundham x Hajime

Hajime: Well, Gundham and I finally did it! The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.* Hajime: That's right... We kissed!

Gundham: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Hajime: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Gundham: I said within reason, Hajime. How about I murder that guy? Hajime: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Gundham: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Gundham x Akihito

Gundham: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Akihito! Akihito: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Akihito: Can you cut me some slack, Gundham? I’m sort of in love. Gundham: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Akihito: I’m in love with you. Gundham: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Gundham x Habiki

Gundham: Are you ready to commit? Habiki: Like, a crime or a relationship?

Habiki: Did it hurt when you fell- Gundham: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Habiki: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Gundham: ... Habiki: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Gundham x Raijin

Raijin: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid. Gundham: You always act stupid. Gundham: Gundham: Wait...

Raijin: Are we fighting or flirting? Gundham: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Raijin: Your point?

Gundham x Yukino

Yukino: That was so hot, Gundham. Gundham: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Yukino: I'm so in love with you.

*At a speed dating event* Gundham: Oh wow, people are really shallow. Yukino: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate? Gundham: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet. Yukino: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

Mondo x Kiyotaka

Mondo: We have a problem. Kiyotaka: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Mondo: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Kiyotaka: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Mondo x Mikan

Mondo: Stop doing that. Mikan: Stop doing what? Mondo: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

Mondo: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right? Mikan: Nope, there's 26. Mondo: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T. Mikan: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one. Mondo: You'll get the D later ;).

Mondo x Habiki

Habiki: You have to apologize to them Mondo. Mondo: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Habiki: Talk dirty to me~ Mondo: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high. Habiki: Wha- Mondo: The economy is in shambles.

Mondo x Ume

Ume: *angrily presses Mondo against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?! Mondo: ... Mondo: Are we about to kiss-

Ume: I have feelings for you. Mondo: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Kiyotaka x Nagito

Nagito: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Kiyotaka: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Kiyotaka: I feel like doing something stupid. Nagito: I’m stupid, do me.

Kiyotaka x Naoko

Naoko: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it. Kiyotaka: What- how? Naoko: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Kiyotaka: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Naoko: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Rantaro x Kaede

Kaede: Rantaro is playing hard to get. Kaede: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Kaede: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people? Rantaro: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause. Kaede: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though? Rantaro: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

Sayaka x Komaru

Komaru: I'm trash. Sayaka: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Komaru: Komaru: You smooth motherfucker. Komaru: And yes it does.

Sayaka: Wow, Komaru, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Komaru: We literally slept together yesterday. Sayaka: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sayaka x Mikan

Mikan: What do you want to be for Halloween? Sayaka: Yours. Mikan: Mikan: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.

Sayaka: My hands are cold. Mikan: Here, let me hold them. Sayaka: My lips are cold too. Mikan: *covers Sayaka's mouth with their hand*

Sayaka x Tenko

Tenko: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness— Sayaka: Hi. Tenko: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

Tenko: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you? Sayaka: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sonia x Gundham

Sonia: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Gundham is? Because Gundham is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Gundham: We both look very handsome tonight. Sonia: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." Gundham: I couldn't take that chance.

Sonia x Mizumi

Sonia: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Mizumi: This is a lie. Mizumi: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Mizumi: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Sonia: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart. Mizumi: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Chiaki x Hajime

Hajime: Chiaki, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right? Chiaki, naked in Hajime's bed: No, I absolutely do not. Hajime, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Hajime: Cause your pretty and your smart, and your ignoring me so your obviously my type. Chiaki, who was distracted: I'm sorry- what were you saying? Hajime: Perfect.

Chihiro x Fuyuhiko

Chihiro, throwing their head into Fuyuhiko's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Fuyuhiko, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Fuyuhiko: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Chihiro: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Kazuichi x Gundham

Kazuichi: I like your new pants! Gundham: Thanks, they were 50% off! Kazuichi: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Gundham: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Kazuichi: Thats’s… not what I meant. Gundham: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kazuichi.

Kazuichi: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... Gundham: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? Kazuichi: Holy moly-

Korekiyo x Angie

Angie: Babe, you're so funny! Korekiyo: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you. Angie: Awwww, that's sweet of you!

Angie: Korekiyo and I are no longer dating. Korekiyo: Angie, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Kyoko x Celestia

Celestia: Hey, wanna take a shower with me? Kyoko: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Celestia: Kyoko, you love me, right? Kyoko: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Peko x Fuyuhiko

Fuyuhiko: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Peko: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Peko: *seductively takes off glasses* Peko: Wow... Fuyuhiko: *blushes* Haha... what? Peko: You're really fucking blurry.

Ruruka x Seiko

Seiko: Look, last night was a mistake. Ruruka: A sexy mistake. Seiko: No, just a regular mistake.

Seiko: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you? Ruruka: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Shuichi x Kaede

Kaede: You look good in that hoodie. Shuichi: You know where else I'd look good? Kaede, zero hesitation: My bed. Shuichi, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Kaede: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Shuichi: The dishes. Kaede: Wh- Shuichi: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.