#god I hope he stabs me to death 😩

[meloarto-me]

Blackbeard's Pirates x You

Something quick, because I was bored and haven't posted anything in a long time.

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I hope you enjoyed it (: Again, I apologize for the mistakes.

Box Opened <3

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Marshall D. Teach: *Eats a Cherry pie and sips it with alcohol*

You: Can I have a piece of cake?

Marshall D. Teach: No *slices of cake fall from his mouth*

You: 😩 I won't bake you any more cherry pie.

Marshall D. Teach: What!

You: Bake it yourself *stands up and walks away*

Marshall D. Teach: *Has already given you a piece, but you leave. (The sad admiral will no longer have a delicious cake from you)*

Jesus Burgerss: *taps his muscles/shows off in front of you*

You: your vein is about to burst old man

Jesus Burgers: 🙁 *sad_puppy.exe*

You: *sighs*. Come on give me a hug *spreads arms*

Jesus Burgess: *hugs you* Thank you! *happy child child.exe*

(You are in the stork's nest)

You: I want to eat...

Van Augur: Then go eat

You: No

Van Augur: *looks at you with this look on his face 😐*

You: 😩 I don't want to go down

Van Augur: I'll drop you and you'll be closer

You: 😐

Van Augur: 😉

Laffitte: *stabs you with grace*

You: Tap me again and I'll shove this stick up your ass

Laffitte: *stabs with a smile*

You: I'll KiLl you you whore!

Laffitte: *runs away screaming like a little girl*

You: *takes a kitchen knife. And you run after him*

Jesus Burgess in the background: 😬

Doc Q: *is as sick as ever and lies on the floor*

You: Are you dying?

Doc Q: Yes for many years, I was born in the wrong body

You: Whatever, more important question *you look at him* Can I take your body after death?

Doc Q: What-

You: Body, your, I will take, after, garbage?

Doc Q: ...No....

Shiryu: *smokes a cigar and wipes his sword clean*

You: Fucking smoker *whispers*

Shiryu: *looks at you* Did you say something?

You: Nooooo~~ *Innocent eyes*

Shiryu: I heard what you said

You: 😇 Well what are you addicted to and you will die, plus you are poisoning my precious air 😇

Shiryu: I'm not an addict, if I wanted to I would stop

You: Then you have a challenge, stop smoking

Shiryu: ...

Avalo Pizarro: *Playing with a cat*

You: *looks at him*

Avalo Pizarro: *starts purring like a cat*

You: I knew he was Furry *whispers*

Avalo Pizarro: *continues to play with the cat unconsciously*

You: *Takes pictures of him with the cat from hiding*

Vasco Shot: *Drinks alcohol like water*

You: *looks at him, ponders something*

Vasco Shot: *feels your gaze on him. I look at you* Topu~ Topu~ Topu~ what are you looking at me like that? *cough*

You: *folds hands in front of you*

60% of the mass of the human body is water, but in your case it's Alcohol.

Catarina Devon: *Reviews herself in the mirror*

You: *sits politely beside her*

Catrina Devon: God~ how I wish I was the most beautiful woman in the world

You: You are beautiful, the most beautiful!

Catrina Devon: *you say right away*

Catarina Devon: Oooo~ how lovely!*Hugs you to his chest*

You: *You try to breathe into her ample m breasts*

Sanjuan Wolf: *sleeps*

You: *sleeps on him*

Kuzan: *sleeps*

You: *touches him on the cheek*

Ey are you sleeping?

Kuzan: *tries to ignore you*

You: Ey don't sleep. *continues to poke him*

Kuzan: Let me sleep. *takes you in his arms and buttons you to sleep with him*

You: 😊

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[yarnofariadne]

Last one for now, tho I haven't finished reading it! Iliad book 6 thoughts from tw*tter.

- Adrestos had a single bargaining chip to work with and Aga really said "Hmm. Not good enough. You have to die now 💖" 😩 I think the gods as a whole must care little for the Trojans, if the death of a man begging for his life is ignored by them. Of course I know that the stories are woven in a way that even They cannot intervene (the gods are victims to fate too) but it's interesting to me who is rewarded and who isn't and Why.

- Also interesting that Diomedes is like "If you're a god I don't want to fight you hello?!" to Glaucus now that Athena is gone! Cuz before that he was stabbing gods left and right... But he wasn't doing it alone and he wasn't doing it without Permission

- I know it's cuz the Greeks are all about Fatherhood but I wonder if it's weird for Diomedes to be constantly compared or referenced regarding a man he never got to know 😭

- Hector offhandedly mentioning Paris then Immediately following it up with "I wish the earth would open up beneath him. I hope he dies" is so much... How much hatred do you harbor for your baby brother due to all this... (It must be a lot)

- Okay so he doesn't only say "I wish Paris would die" he says "if I could witness Paris dying it'd bring me no greater joy." If killing family members wasn't so sinful (unless the gods ask for it I mean) I bet you he'd do it himself. He's literally this

- Hector could literally hand Paris a thousand page manifesto on why he's awful and should die and Paris would just be like "yeah you're probably right ):" 😭 he's like... Genuinely concerningly passive when being insulted. Just how low is his self worth if he seems to think himself deserving of such words 😩 Helen and Paris out here like "I hate myself so much 💔" but unlike Paris, Helen actually vocalizes his self hatred and the blames herself for everything that has happened... Hmm

- Helen immediately turns to Hector and says "god my husband sucks so much I wish I was married to a guy with actual brains" 😭 fascinated with this extremely dysfunctional relationship. It really feels like only reason why they're together is because the gods willed it, not because Helen ever held real affection towards him or wanted to be with him in any kind of way. Tho, I think Paris likes her, but in a very surface level way. I don't think they truly know or understand one another.

- Astyanax meaning lord of the city... The hopes of the people of troy are placed upon the child of a great man, they'd want him to be just like his father, of course. Knowing what happens later feels symbolic in this case. It's sad tho 💔