#god 2023 please just give my mom a break. i'm begging

[articianne]

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[solaw00]

Sun , jul 9 , 2023 bin 12 w 1 am

I knew that my mom is leaving with my two brothers because it's too much for her while i was having an emotional conversation with samir bcuz i did something wrong , i was explaining abd trying not to break down especially when i apologized and he didn't want me to w ana i said bli there are people loukan y9ololi sm7ili mara I'll forgive them for every shitty thing they did because i meant my dad and he doesn't know , also i felt like he doesn't deserve me not explaining and apologizing just because my mother is leaving , it's 6:03 am and I'm still awake w ghir dok jit l my bed , m 12 w ana in the kitchen omba3d ml 1 w ana nhdr m3a amir about our dad and mom and he cried and i admitted for the first time bli i don't really hate my dad w i love him i couldn't even say it properly my voice was shaking and i shed some tears , i feel like I'm so numb I can't feel anything about my mom leaving because I'm hopeless and i also have no problem if she left me because she has every right to , she's had enough of my dad and i always want the best for her i also told her that ki jat ll kitchen 93dt tam w 9atli problème sique dok balak houwa yweli ynta9am fikom ntouma w ma ya9dilkomsh bash taklou , kesghol ga3 haka w she's still thinking about us , i hope god protects her i really beg for him to always be by her side and lead her to making the right things for her , please god don't make her suffer she already had enough I can't describe how much i love her , today was a really emotional day for me mlewel m3a samir omb3d m3a mom leaving w the convo m3a amir , lsl god please protect her and please help her and be there for her and never make her feel helpless please give her someone from her family to always be by her side and never make her feel alone ya rab i beg of you and there's no one other than you who can fulfill my wishes , i feel so helpless, numb and dead rn , and i feel it in my throat hurting me , it's like i want to cry and scream and do everything but i can't do that anymore , i have no energy in me that can make me do this again the same way as when i was 13 or 14 , but i surely know that I'm breaking inside and feel huge darkness inside of me , it's like I'm empty I can't react anymore, I'm shattered , I am dead i am helpless and nothing can change it .

May god be with my mom and always by her side , may he help me and my sisters to live with dad and help my brothers to feel better insha'Allah , i trust no one but Allah to turn this bad reality into a much better one .

End .

- 6:24 am .