#go check out pastel's au/their blog in general!!

[werewolf-w1tch]

so i brainrotted too hard over someone else's au again

did a thorns & thrones au op (by the lovely @pastelpaperplanes) as a talkerni (a fictional species of mine)! + a doodle of my oc prophet (he/him)

[pastel-medic]

My name is Xed/Pastel ^v^ (He/Xe/They)! I am 24 years old and any other art accts will likely have the username pastelxapple if you want to find me on other platforms!

Medicsona:

Mercenary Intros

Full Refs:

RED Team:

BLU Team:

Gentlesurgery Ship 💜:

Roulette Class AU:

Blog intro, tags, & rules ⬇️

Ko-fi (sketch comms):

Strawpage:

Tags:

#my art (or #xed art) - My art tag! You can find my artwork directly with this tag 🐍✨

#ask box - All replies to my inbox are tagged with this! It comprises mostly of Q&As of my mercs or other characters, art requests, and other questions!

#roulette class au (or #tf2 roulette class au) - This is the tag for my TF2 AU, the Roulette Class AU! The long and short of it is I swapped all of the mercenaries' classes and there's major differences in the lore.

#quixote - My gentlesurgery ship tag! So not to confuse my ship with RED Medic and VLT Spy from the usual gentlesurgery ship you can find their content separate from that with this tag!

#medic brothers - This tag is specifically for my Medic Brothers (Fritz and Ludwig), so any art and lore for them are tagged with this!

#lore crumbs 🍰 - Small pieces of art and/or posts about my ocs or AUs! 👏🏼✨ I try to tag posts with any info or headcanons about my characters/AUs ^^

#shortcake medic - Tag used for any art I make of my Medicsona, Shortcake Medic! 🍰💖

#tsu art - (or #twin art) - Art tag for my twin's artwork 🦊 (@/hoshi-tsubasa )! I love sharing her work and she deserves more praise for it! ^v^✨ Yes she is a furry so be kind!!!

#moot art 💖 - Art tag for my artist mutuals! I love to share their work so I keep this tagged to their stuff so I can find it again (cuz I'm dumb and don't wanna scroll through reblogs for eternity)

#other artists (or #reblog) - This is the tag I use when I reblog other amazing artists' work!

General Info:

I've technically been in the TF2 community for more than 6 years but I just recently got back into it as of 2024!

Pr0shipper/“problematic” accounts DNI!!! I will block you >:(((

@/hoshi-tsubasa is my twin! Her art is just as incredible so go check her out too if you'd like! She also draws TF2 stuff here and there, plus she has some TF2 merch you can check out on her redbubble!

My main ship is Gentlesurgery, which I draw quite a lot! If that ship is not your cup of tea I kindly suggest to be polite and just move on, harassment and hate will not be tolerated here. I also have other favorite TF2 ships that I don't have listed above in the "Meet The Artist" template that I may draw from time to time! However, please be mindful that I don't really draw HeavyMedic (Red Oktoberfest), MedicScout (Quickfix/Blunt Trauma), or SniperScout (SpeedingBullet) ships, as those are not ships I'm particularly fond of compared to others (MedicScout cuz as a passionate MedicSpy shipper it just feels uncomfy for me) ;3; very sorry! (ALSO ABSOLUTELY NO SPYSCOUT GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT DISGUSTING STUFF) I do like most TF2 ships tho (I especially love all Spy ships)! 💖

Please be aware I likely will not draw nsfw! There may be suggestive art tho from time to time :3c Some things will be tagged with tw if needed!

Also please do not tag my art with ship tags unless I have them put under my art! I am not comfortable with certain dynamics being labeled as ships, especially if the dynamic is not meant to be in any form romantic/sexual ;;

My hyperfixations do shift so I may hop from one media to another or draw crossovers! I will usually post my other non-TF2 art on my instagram, but all TF2 content will be here!

In addition, please be aware I have ADHD and an alter system (DID), so please note that I may go silent with posts every once in a while. My mental health is not a subject I care to make front and center here, so I prefer any questions or topics of such be kept private! Thank you! 💖

If you can I encourage you to reblog my artwork if you like it! Traction on tumblr is very different than on other social sites like twitter and tiktok, so it would mean a lot to me if you could share my art! 🥺💌 I'm deeply humbled if you enjoy my content, thank you!

Ask Box Rules:

This is a 16+ ask blog, so if you wanna ask me or my version of the mercs something pls feel free! Anon questions will be turned on and off from time to time, but if people completely abuse it or things get out of hand I will shut them off permanently ;3; Also please respect that there's a limit for how much you can ask of me, I won't consistently draw the same thing over and over if it's asked for like more than 3 times (especially by the same person)!

Also, if I do not respond to your ask, it may be because I am either uncomfortable with the ask, am unsure how to respond, or simply do not feel that it is an ask that needs to be posted. I am also NOT an rp blog so I will not respond to rp-like asks. Please respect this, thank you!

Please be respectful! I have major anxiety and communication/socializing is difficult for me, so I may not engage in conversations much ;0; I do get super nervous with parasocial behavior!!! I will do my best to respond to my inbox so please be patient with me 💌

Fanart/Art Rules:

Art Trades are for mutuals only! I rarely do them but think they're fun! Also will only do an art trade if the level of art quality and skill is the similar to my own, thank you! 💖

This isn't entirely an art request blog but depending on the question in the ask box I might doodle something if I'm interested enough! 🍰✨ I don't really draw ship requests often tho! ;3; Might do some that I like but depends!

I don't mind fanart! If you'd like to make fanart for me please tag me so I can see your lovely work! However pls don't draw my ocs or version (aus included) of the mercs inappropriately or in ships I otherwise am not comfortable with, as they already have pre-established relationships ;; Also please do not misinterpret/take creative liberties with my Medicsona (Shortcake Medic) specifically, as he is my personal sona and I am more sensitive about art of him! He is not an oc, he is a sona, so I am uncomfortable with misinterpretations and/or nsfw art of him. If you are unsure about anything please ask me first, I am very firm and particular about him! Thank you!!! 💖🍰

If you want to use my art as a profile pic please ask me first!!! DO NOT REPOST OR EDIT MY ARTWORK!!!!

[ahyesthesufferingoftvteens]

Welcome to The Cursed The Hollow Blog!

And welcome to this absurdly overdue introductory post that I'm going to have pinned on my blog! Here in this blog we hold cringe, cringe, and nothing BUT cringe! My asks are open, feel free to bother me with your thoughts! And...well, mayhaps the interesting The Hollow Alternate Universe that meets your eye! My ao3 should be linked up in my profile description. I also have a few projects that started as The Hollow AUs but became their own original ideas. I may post for them as well since they're so closely related to The Hollow in my heart. Something to note: I am ok with people creating fan content for my own content. In fact please do so; such things fuel me to create more. This blog is primarily Reekai centered, or well, at least I myself am the one and most prominent Reeve and Kai shippers. I love most of the ships though; Kaidam and Skira are pretty bomb.

I'm your wonderful host: Cursi. I create things for an absurdly small and quiet fandom, and I'm here to fix that silence! Any pronouns are acceptable. As for my gender: it's Chaos-fluid. No I will not elaborate; my gender is whatever makes the cishets the most confused!

I have a lovely lovely collection of friends I am living with who also are a huge fan of The Hollow and post The Hollow content. They call themselves Eklesia. @valarioncy is their fan account, but @eklesia-system is their plural account. They're a system, and I'm actually dating a few of their members (Sleet and Sidney). Speaking of valarioncy, me and them are accepting commissions and donations! Just spreading the word out there.

Who are you, Cursi?

Oh? Who am I? What's my deal? What's my business? I like to keep my online persona strictly separate from my real life persona, so you're never going to know any personal details about me except my age (I'm in my early twenties. I've been in this fandom since I was seventeen), the rare mentions of how I used to live in a specific state, and maybe my experiences in my birth gender. (unless you a mutual I deeply trust.) I'm living the way of the early internet: Anonymity! The double life! Y'all will never know my true name! Mwahahah!

But as for my interests and my general personality? I love animals, The Hollow, drawing and writing, world-building, video games, and I loooooove me some pastels mixed with some blacks and dark blues. I'm a bit of a pushover at times, and I despise conflict. Even then, I have pretty strong ideals and if I perceive injustice I'm likely going to call it out.

With the basics out of the way, here's all the navigational stuff under the cut! If there are no links, that probably means this introductory is a WIP or was re-blogged in WIP status. Check back some time!

Alternate Universes

Green = Personal, Blue = Collaborative

Realm of the Forgotten (The "Isekai" AU): TBA Come Sweet Death (The Timeloop AU): TBA Hollow City (The Simulation AU): TBA The Hollow's Eve (The Occult AU): TBA Children of Misfortune (The "Dystopian" AU): TBA The Shallow (The Bootleg AU): TBA

Original (The Hollow-Origin) Projects

Magicaholic!: TBA

Other Cool Posts:

That one time I made an Adam Alter a Reekai shipper

That time I finally brought the legendary Cyrokin themselves to tumbler (and also bit on a fidget spinner)

Me rating The Hollow Ships part I, II, and III

My most popular post

[fandomsoda]

Personal project masterpost

Alright so I have realized all my stuff is too much for the pinned post but I can make this masterpost and update it periodically. This will include: links to intro posts/refs, links to doodles/additional official art, and the given hashtags for each individual thing. Fan art/asks with art and most text posts will not be linked here, but you can search my blog/tumblr by the official tags in order to find stuff. Note: for additional small things such as fun facts about characters not on their official refs, check out the “#oc factoids and asks” tag and search with the tag of the given character/project. Yeah sorry you have to do some digging yourself, I can’t update this post every single time I make something new. Anyway let’s just jump into it. Last updated: 8/6/24 (d/m/y)

Omega Lab (#omega lab au, #omega lab)

Ref sheets for all mainline characters (Test’s tags: #test!sans, #test omega lab | Glow’s tags: #glowstick!sans, #glowstick omega lab | Tizzy’s tags: #tizzy!sans, #tizzy omega lab | Bio’s tags: #biohazard!sans, #biohazard omega lab)

Tizzy and Biohazard doodle

Glowstick and Test doodle

promotional piece

dynamic elaboration drawings

Sanses in alt subcultures (#alt sanses my beloveds) [casually known as Altverse but that is NOT its official name, do not tag it as such.]

Also the official tag is what you can use to browse MY blog. It’s not a title either. Just tag your art with the characters included.

Pastel goth!Dream (#pastel goth!dream sans)

additional Dream drawing

Alt!Killer (#alt!killer sans)

Classic 2000’s emo!Nightmare (#emo!nightmare sans)

NM pixel doodles

Scene!Ink (#scene!ink sans)

scene!Ink pixel doodle

Scene!Ink’s small psa

scene!Ink featured in my 2023 Inktobertale

Scenemo!Cross (#scenemo!cross sans)

Because things are often misinterpreted with this AU, it has its own clarifications tag. “#alt utmv clarifications” is the tag, if you’re ever wondering something about it then check there. If one of those posts doesn’t have an answer, just feel free to ask me yourself.

Robo-Ink aka Oil (#robo ink, #oil!ink sans, #robot!ink sans)

Based entirely on the simple (initially joke) proposition: “alternate multiverse where everything is the same except Ink is a robot”. Oil hails from a whole separate multiverse just like the usual one, accept for him being the way he is. Slightly different in personality, but you only really realize it when putting the two characters in the same interaction. Either way, he is my pride and joy and a great project so far.

No ref sheet currently exists for this character

initial conceptualization sketches

full-body further conceptualization sketch dump

more anatomy elaboration

Faeverse (#faeverse, #faeverse au) [please read info]

Ok so Faeverse isn’t actually entirely my creation, it’s a shared project with me and @dinosaurzzz. I’m just the lead character designer and artist, I don’t own it. Faeverse is a retelling of Underverse with a twist of Xvials and fae folklore from various cultures. Some things are critically changed in this au, so I’m begging you, if you’re going to make fan content, to read ALL OF THE INFO we have about it, including the masterpost about a core character Dino made which is linked in the below ref sheet.

Fae!Ink ref sheet (#fae!ink sans, #leánnan sídhe!ink sans)

Very pretty Fae!Ink doodle sheet

Omega!Cross (#omega!cross) [on hiatus]

Omega!Cross is a half-wolf version of Cross who was inspired by the works of some of the other creators in my general orbit, for posts featuring him interacting with the other 6 wolf!Cross’s, check out #wolf!cross gang shenanigans!

this project is currently on standby due to the stress I get when creating it. There may be the occasional thing here and there but for now don’t expect any big additions to Omega’s story. It’s a mess right now.

Omega!Cross ref sheet

just some expressive doodles

his canonical identities!

Design clarification text post

design clarification doodle

full doodle sheet 1

Canon height diagram

lore teaser

R34L17Y_D3C4Y (#r34l17y d3c4y, #reality decay)

R34L17Y_D3C4Y (pronounced “reality decay”), or R_D for short, is an Undertale alternate multiverse where all outcodes, multiversal beings, or beings that have been separated from their original universes gain weirdcore designs and qualities. I started it over on my Reddit but am moving it here.

Explanation/lore post

Fresh’s ref (#reality decay!fresh)

Wink’s ref [Ink] (#wink reality decay, #wink r34l17y d3c4y, #wink!ink sans, #rd!ink sans, #reality decay!ink sans, #wink rd)

Spinner’s ref [Error] (#spinner reality decay, #spinner rd, #spinner r34l17y d3c4y, #spinner!error sans, #rd!error sans)

Blossom’s ref [Dream] (#blossom reality decay, #reality decay!dream sans, #blossom!dream sans, #rd!dream sans, #blossom rd)

Annulus (#annulus sans, #annulus!sans)

silly one-off OC of mine

ref sheet/info post

Miscellaneous utmv ship kids

Dagger Striper [Killer x Ink] (#dagger striper)

Brightspex [Ink x Dream x Cross] (#brightspex)

Homestuck fantrolls

Gradient blood trolls concept post/initial art of my primary fantrolls (#gradientblooded trolls)

Primary three fantrolls sprite post (Spiral’s tag: #spiral circus | Orbovo’s tag: #orbovo weaver | Rodiea’s tag: #rodiea lassos)

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for July 2021! Below you’ll find One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

Game Changer by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 6k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Did the doctor say what was wrong with you?”

“He thought I was pregnant,” Louis scoffs. “Told me to go home and take a test, a pregnancy test, Haz. Can you imagine the nerve it takes for him to even think that?”

Harry looks lost in his thoughts for a few seconds. “Did you? Take a test, I mean?”

“Of course I didn’t.”

OR: A couple months before playing in his first long-awaited World Cup, Louis finds out he’s pregnant. Harry’s there for the ride.

(I Was Broke) You Healed Me by @fallinglikethis

[Harry/Niall, 12k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Niall Horan is an unmated pregnant omega living on his own after his alpha boyfriend leaves him. Far from his family and friends in Ireland, Niall is stuck living in a complex for Alpha/Omega bondmates, terrified every day of being found out by his landlord.As if that isn't enough, he's suffering from touch deprivation. Luckily, Niall's doctor can at least help him with that part: she prescribes Niall some cuddle sessions. It's only a little weird that the person she's prescribing him is her brother. Or maybe that's actually a little bit perfect.

The Only Pain in Pleasure is the Pleasure of the Pain by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

[Liam/Zayn, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Liam had followed InZaynity, an artist's Instagram, for ages. Not only was the artist incredibly talented, his voice poured over Liam like warm honey on a winter's night, and his hands were the stuff Liam's wank dreams were made of. However, having Zayn unexpectedly arrive as the newest artist at his best friend's tattoo shop brought Liam's fantasies and reality a little too close for comfort.

Zayn Malik met his boss' friend on his first day at Fine Line Tattoos, and felt an instant attraction. Unfortunately, given Liam's unwillingness to even hold a conversation with him, Zayn was certain the feelings weren't reciprocal. Or were they?

When Liam's new tattoo design falls outside the scope of Tommo's talent, and he recommends Zayn do it, Liam reluctantly agrees. Surely he could manage to spend hours in Zayn's company without revealing his biggest secret, right? Right?

Blow Me Away by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Liam, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis likes giving blow jobs.

He doesn't exactly get off on it – he's been with people who properly loved it, and he's not quite that into it – but he doesn't mind the feel or the taste and he really, really likes watching his partner lose it, so getting down on his knees regularly is a no brainer.

Which is why it's a bit frustrating that every time he does, Liam hauls him back up again.

Why Didn't We Make Out the Night We Met? by @berzerkshires

[Louis/Harry, 52k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis and Harry meet in an alley outside the hotel Louis is staying for the weekend. Harry introduces himself as Ed, and Louis is completely clueless. They have a relationship through text messages, phone calls, shared pictures and Facetime calls. Is a cell phone being the only source of communication enough? Will Louis ever learn that he's really talking to an international popstar? And what happens when the world is shutdown due to a wide spread virus?

I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) by @lululawrence

[Harry/Louis, 7k, Not rated, tumblr post]

“Stand up.”

Harry stood up from the couch, not a moment’s delay.

“Oh my god, is that what that’s like?” Harry turned to Louis, surprise on his face. “I really thought they were somehow exaggerating, but it really is an automatic response with absolutely no thought from me behind it whatsoever.”

Louis sighed again. “You really wanna keep doing this? Have me use my alpha voice on you so you can work on resisting it?”

“Yup,” Harry said, clapping his hands and smiling. “How else am I going to be able to have any chance at reducing the power an alpha voice has on me?”

I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right by @lululawrence

[Liam/Nick Grimshaw, 4k, Not rated, tumblr post]

Nick was a bit of a disaster, but she was used to it.

Or so she thought. She had never known how much she could struggle just to function until the new fire lady goddess angel person winked at her.

Oh, Those Summer Nights by cherrylarry / @beelou

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

“Are you okay?” He kneels down to inspect where Harry still has his hand pressed against his head.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine.”

“My name’s Louis. Can I buy you dinner or something to make up for hitting you in the head?”

Harry crinkles his eyebrows. “Me?”

Louis chuckles. “Yes, you. If you’d like?”

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Harry smiles so that his dimples show. “I’m Harry.”

“Harry, it's a date, then." Louis grins.

An extended scene of the beginning of the movie Grease as a larry au

people fall in love in mysterious ways (maybe just the touch of a hand) by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers, @justalarryblog / Bekita, @bluecolouredlou , @beelou / cherrylarry, @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain, @hershelsue / docklands, @foreverfanficaddict,@idolizingthelight / idolizingthelightt, @inlockets / loveroflou, @perfectdagger, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 13k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Set in a world where meeting your soulmate causes a literal spark, Louis Tomlinson has no time for fate. He knows all too well the heartbreak that having a soulmate can bring and he'd rather avoid the whole affair. But, when a chance meeting with up-and-coming popstar, Harry Styles, causes the biggest electrical surge the world has ever seen, Louis must confront the truth that sometimes destiny knocks when you least expect it.

Somehow, Someway by @zanniscaramouche

[Louis/Harry, 16k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis Tomlinson has everything all figured out for a smooth post-graduation sailing into the perfect career in the music industry. A canceled class, a high school play, and a disarming set of dimples were not part of the plan. (Especially when they belong to a boy wearing someone else’s jacket.)

Featuring: A punk with the worst timed crush in history, that moody art kid that never shares cigarettes, the cutest pastel-pink wearing boy on the planet, and his unfortunately nice bottle-blond jock of a boyfriend.

Forts & Fortunes by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

It’s finals week at uni and Harry is struggling to find a healthy balance between studying and tending to his needs. Lucky for him, Louis is there to help him out with that.

One way to reduce tension by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry knows of a few ways to help Louis get rid of some pent up stress…

We Got a Call by @greenblueish / bluegreenish

[Louis/Harry, 24k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Fisher from St Peter hospital, hello. Is this Mr Tomlinson?”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow in concern. Why is the hospital calling him? Has someone he knows been in an accident? “Uh, yes?”

“Great. Your results are in. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

“Pregnant?” he chokes, the word almost getting caught in his throat.

“Yes, without doubt,” the woman from the hospital confirms, her voice neutral but somehow chirpy. “I recommend promptly booking an appointment with your ob/gyn to discuss how to proceed.”

"I...Yeah, I’ll talk to my … partner.”

or, the one where Louis and Harry Tomlinson are married and Louis accepts a phone call that was definitely meant for his husband.

How Long Will We Fall (Before We Can Climb) by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 860 words, General, tumblr post]

Louis' faith in Harry is unbreakable. When they get caught kissing and he is thrown out of his home forever, he has to learn to have faith in himself.

Rope, Leather and Lipstick by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 552 words, Mature, tumblr post]

Something about ropes around wrists, and tinting skin the colour of strawberry ice cream, tender and kissed by dark lips. Smudging sticky red lipstick across the slight blue shadow of veins, and assuring hands tightening knots.

Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 34k, Mature, tumblr post]

Harry Styles has only three wishes when he leaves River Dane Manor to go to Town for his first season: that his sister has rented a townhouse that will provide him as many of the comforts of the country life he has grown accustomed to as possible, that he will not trip and fall when he is presented to Her Majesty the Queen, and that he will enter matrimony out of true love, no matter how favourable the match with any which alpha may be.

Sugar at Night by @brightgolden

[Harry/Louis, 33k, Explicit, tumblr post]

With a year left before he completes his degree, a wonderful fiancé, and a baby coming soon, life is going exceptionally well for Harry Styles.

But, the truth always has a way to unravel itself, doesn’t it?

So, what do you do when the person you fell in love with is not the person you thought they were?

I got myself in a mess (and without you I'm in more) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Liam, 9k, Mature, tumblr post]

It’s not desire that has his synapses firing. It’s not the urge to jump him that makes him feel jittery.

It’s the fact that everything about this man - a nice, unassuming guy on Tinder, who studied IT and who seemed like a safe choice - screams danger. It’s the fact that Zayn has been absently touching his necklace for what feels like half the night now.

The necklace. Thank God for Lou, honestly. He’d laughed a bit, at first, when Louis had given it to him, when he’d explained all about the app that it was connected to, the emergency contacts that would be notified and sent his exact location “if you just double tap the back of the charm, see” because Louis was that friend, the mom friend, but right now? Right now Zayn will gladly take the gentle ribbing from Louis if it means he won’t have to spend another moment with this guy.

I don't care if the world knows by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry is fourteen when she buys her first binder. She’s been doing cosplay videos on Tiktok for a while at that point, and it seems like the logical choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with cosplaying characters of the opposite gender and not wanting to fully look like them, she’s seen plenty of wonderful creators put their own spin on characters in a way that transcends the source material, but when it comes to her own cosplays -

She just likes it to be accurate.

She likes her chest to be flat, not soft and curvy, when she’s wearing her Crowley cosplay, or when she’s transformed herself into Loki.

It’s all about the aesthetics.

∞

Over the course of a few years, Harry explores and comes to terms with gender identity.

It’s Probably Because I’ve Got a Big Lesbian Crush on You by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry's never really concerned herself with being part of the popular crowd. But as the new girl in school the second semester of her junior year, she finds herself unwittingly competing for Queen Bee status against high school royalty Louis Tomlinson. Maybe there's more to their rivalry than it seems.

A not-quite-Mean Girls AU

Going Green (so fucking green) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 5k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry just really loves being used, and Louis really loves Harry. Who is he to deny him?

Or: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle but make it BDSM

the next bit was spanners to my plan by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Nick Grimshaw, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

The first time was an accident. The second time was an accident too.

Or: Louis and Nick end up shagging on the sly, everyone sends far too many emojis and far too few words, and eventually they're going to have to sort themselves out.

Trust Me Tonight by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

After Harry’s eighteenth birthday, his father calls him into a meeting to say that he is to be married to Prince Louis of France in just over a week.

Harry is excited, of course. The arrangement is better than any he could’ve hoped for, with such a young, handsome and kind husband.

There is just one issue: Harry doesn’t know what happens on his nuptials, or how to get pregnant to give Louis the heir that he needs.

Can we make it any more obvious? by LouStylesHTommo / @smolhilariousbeans

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Five times the boys accidentally walked in on Harry & Louis plus one time they did it on purpose.

Aka Niall, Zayn, Liam being supportive of Lou&H sexy shenanigans.

darling just dive right in by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Louis, 5k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis can’t think of a worse place to be than at the Malik estate, attending his ex boyfriend's wedding.

Shining just for you by ThoseFookin_Avacados / @hlhome28

[Harry/Louis, 1k, General, tumblr post]

For a clumsy person, Harry danced with quite the grace- spinning around Louis, billowy light robes brushing against his firm darker ones. Despite his slightly smaller build, Louis was decivingly strong, his grip on Harry's waist tight as they performed their steps in sync. Like two opposite halves of a whole, like ones reflection in the mirror, like the sun and the moon.

Part 2 of the Prompt Generator series

crown me with your heart (your love is king) by @perfectdagger

[Louis/Harry, 41k, General, tumblr post]

The universe must’ve had a field day when it decided to plan Harry’s life. There was no plausible explanation for anything that happened in his life anymore. Try as he may, he would never be able to control his life nor predict what would happen next. What were the odds that the one person he was sure he had fallen in love with but had completely let him slip out of his life, already resigned to the fact nothing could ever evolve between them due to Harry’s future with Eroda, happened to be the same person who had Harry’s future in his hand?

A The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Wedding au in which Harry is the Crown Prince of the small island of Eroda and Louis’ uncle is trying to take the throne from him, with a slight a/b/o twist and some more.

[utau-bowl]

Ameuta Niko-砕 Review

Reviewing the Ameuta family is now a longstanding tradition on this blog. Eventually I might review every single one of them, though I will admit making each of those posts unique is a little challenging...

This review was requested anonymously.

*Art by Otsuki Metro (大槻メトロ)

Hear a Sample of Ameuta Niko

Bio

Name: 飴唄仁胡/Ameuta Niko Species: Demon Gender: Male Age: late teens Height: 160 cm Likes: Noodles, museum tours Dislikes: Magic, losing  Theme: Purple Chitose Ame candy

Official Site

Here is Niko’s official page! The voicebank I’ll be talking about today is 砕/Kuda, which was released in 2016. It’s 31 MB when unzipped and has fully generated frq files. Also, here’s a list of what extra samples are included in his reclist, shared among the modern Ameuta UTAUs. You Probably won’t need this, but it’s nice to know what’s included.

First Impressions

Niko has a slightly androgynous, boyish voice. Like Niriya, who I reviewed before, he has stringed audio samples that are CV aliased. One fun thing about him is that instead of his given name being written in hiragana like the other Ameutas, it uses the kanji  胡 for ko, which means barbarian. I also think it’s cute he’s themed around a specifically Japanese candy and is pastel purple despite being a brash anime teen, I think that’s cute.

Configuration

Niko is a monopitch CV recorded at A3. He has a range of D3-A4, but can go a bit over that comfortably. He also has extra pronunciations, end breaths, vocal fry, and combined vowels. One thing I wish the Ameutas had is samples for more vowel combinations. They already have “ai” “ae” “ao”, and “au”, but not many others! The lack of smoother vowels is the main reason why I don’t use CV much. The stringed samples ultimately don’t do that much in terms of making a more natural sound.

The mic quality is pretty good here, but the voice just doesn’t translate well into the engine. Overall, he’s at about the same quality as the other Ametro UTAUs, not bad but not super special.

I like to add the g10 flag to him for a voice that better suits his character.

My recommended flags: g10H20F3E10

My recommended resamplers: fresamp12, EFB-GT

Final Thoughts

Niko is an above average CV with a cute, flexible voice and a lot of potential. I highly suggest you check out the other UTAUs in his series.

Got any other UTAUs you want me to review? Send an ask!

[siren1song]

In Which Jo Loves Content Creators

I’m in a mushy mood. This means it’s time to snipe people with my love for their work and affection for them as people. (People I don’t know that well/talk to regularly won’t be as personal as people as I’ve made good friends with! All to avoid making anyone uncomfortable <3)

I’m going to start with @sleepless-in-starbucks, because of course I’m starting with Lia. I know I’ve made a literal collaboration post with Max about how much I love them and their work, but Also how can I not mention once again how sweet and funny they are? I vowed that one day, I would rick roll them, they don’t believe I can, but I will, one day. Also they’re really good at comforting people??? And let me scream about some of my favorite fics/tropes to them. I also really enjoy talking to them about stuff I’m working. Listen. Lia is great, okay?

Speaking of @max-is-tired did you know they’re an incredibly sweet datemate who’s super considerate and easy to talk to and gosh I love them a whole lot? Not to mention their writing and ideas are phenomenal!!!! Max is so big brained!!!!! I will never stop expressing my love for them ever.

Oh, oh, oh!!!! @thechildoflightning is also really super sweet!! I became a huge fan of their writing through their daemon prinxiety au!! And my love of their work just kept expanding as I read the jksf verse they’ve worked so hard on! Their research is expansive!! And did you know they’re really cute when they info dump? I asked them to tell me about the bird facts the other day because I wanted to hear their info dumping and it was really cool information!!! I learned a lot about a really cool bird!!

(This is going to get long... time for a cut!)

Another segue! You know who else I’ve learned a lot from? @lilfellasblog who is so cool? And kind???? And smart? Sometimes, I’ll ask them questions in a joking way and then I’ll end up learning something and wow! That’s so cool! And they don’t mind simplifying things for me when I ask! And their fic, Healing Broken Wings? An actual masterpiece, though if you check it out I recommend reading tags thoroughly. And if you have questions about a tag, ask them! They’re so willing to elaborate to make sure you’re able to stay safe!!! They care more about your safety than your readership!!!!! And that’s so awesome! I love Lil so much! A great friend and an amazing writer!

A friend I don’t really talk to nearly as much as the others but who I still care about a whole lot is @illogicallyinclined. They say they can’t write, but bullet fics are a Valid Form of Writing, and also their art? Stunning? They’re the reason I started appreciating Logan a whole lot more than I used to, and their hockey au  is really good (and Jam Packed with Logan Angst if you’re into that.) They’re also hilarious to talk to. I have chatted about Virgil and Logan being huge ass meme’s with them on multiple occasions.

Someone I’ve only recently started talking to is @sign-from-god-complex who’s actually really cool? I was talking to him about my love for fandom content creators before I decided to make this post and of course I had to include him? I’m literally going to be bingeing his writing as soon as I finish this Love and Appreciation post because it’s amazing! I can’t believe I haven’t read more of his work before! A travesty, honestly!!! And oh my God his music is good? Literally the whole reason I joined his server and started talking to Lo in the first place was because he was really nice when I asked him how downloading music worked because I’ve only ever done that onto an MP3 (I know, I’m old) and even then I had to have help because I’m not adept with technology. A great singer and writer!

Now for people I’ve never talked to personally but really want to show my appreciation for... Goodness, there’s so many?

I’m gonna start this section with @princeanxious who’s writing, art, and ideas in general are amazing? Have you seen his coma au? Heart wrenching. His Lost Guardian au? Beautiful world building! His punk lo/pastel dee au? Adorable oh my goodness I can’t get enough!! I tried to talk to him once, but I kind of got scared I was bothering him, but he seems really nice!!!!

Did I mention soulmate au’s earlier? I did. You know who writes really cool and great soulmate aus? @not-so-innocent-bi-sander and MAN is their writing great! Have you read their vampire soulmate au? That was so cute??? I loved Logan’s internal conflict with changing Patton and Roman, gosh? And they have such interesting au ideas too? Like I have actually never heard the concept of Lockets before, and it was such a fascinating idea for a soulmate au? I mean, obviously they have other fics that aren’t soulmate aus, like their prinxiety fic Overcoming a Legacy? Stunning, I am pretty sure I stayed up really late reading that one.

Speaking of fics that made me stay up late (so many segue’s) @impatentpending ‘s fic Powerless had me up from 5:30 pm when I started reading it to 2:30 am when Max finally woke up and distracted me long enough to make me shower and go to bed cause I had work in the morning. Do I regret it? No. Powerless is a stunning fic with an amazing concept. I can’t tell you how excited I was to read a fic where Virgil willingly took on a villain role to protect his loved ones. And also I’m going to physically fight Missy, she can catch these hands. I can’t really give much else on the rest of her fics, because I tend to avoid anything that might not end happy (I’m five chapters away from finishing Powerless, and I’m only just now getting skeptical they might not get their happy ending so count me scared) but I have no doubt everything she’s written is just as good, if not better since this fic was finished in 2018? Wow.

Another fic that had me up super late was @lovelylogans gilmore girls au where you lead, i will follow. Don’t be fooled by the eleven chapters, that fic is over 100k words but God is it so worth it to read every single one. You don’t even need to be familiar with the show the au is based on, it’s amazing either way. The characters, the plot, the romance, all absolutely stunning. I will personally fight Patton’s mom. And the rest of her fics! Wow!!! Stunning, amazing, wonderful, beautiful, I’m running out of adjectives. I loved their princess bride bullet fic a whole lot, that was fun.

If you ever see me gushing about mermaid aus, please know that @voidsides au is Probably my favorite take on it. The prinxiety! The sassy virgil!!! The Logan being so done with Roman’s shit. Literally the one comic with Logan interaction I could practically see “Roman I swear to god if you don’t stop flirting with the fish I’m going to push you into the water” in his words. He didn’t say it, but man he was definitely thinking it.

Oh man, I can’t forget to mention the person who got me into g/t-slash-borrower sides @infinimay cause his content? Amazing, really. I found him when someone I follow reblogged one of his halloween fics and I fell in love and proceeded to binge the rest of their writing. Amazing, really. I really love the giant hermit virgil and hiker logan ones a lot. There’s more that I definitely love a whole lot as well, but I can’t currently match content with titles right now and if I go through I’ll get caught up and forget to come back to this post, but just know I love

Another giant/tiny writer I really love who I fell in love because of his amazingly written alien au- @delimeful WIBAR is currently one of my fic obsessions and I might reread it soon because it’s so good? I love the world building and how he’s written the characters so much. The rest of his work is Also Great? The fic where Virgil turns into a dragon when stressed? Amazing I can’t wait for it to continue.

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors You got me so in love with laoft I think about it often. Scary Virgil?? Changeling Logan???? Witch Roman???? Gifted Patton????? I want to cry I love them so much. And God, May! May Gage is a disaster of a woman but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love her. I just. I love this au so much and it’s gotten me to love fae lore so much like I used to. I want to reread this au now, crap. Wait I need to read Lo’s stuff first. Double crap.

Oh man. speaking of writer’s who keep bringing up fae and reminding me how much I love them, @lefaystrent I hope you know your parental shenanigans on my dash bring me life. I didn’t know carbonated milk existed until last night. Kind of wish I was still ignorant on that particular topic. Either way, your fae virgil fic? Amazing. I got so super excited every time I saw an update, and that epilogue? A beautiful ending, if you ask me.

@stillebesat I start screaming in excitement, reading your Interview fic. When I found it, I became so in love with the fic I had a really hard time reading anything else and I frequently checked your blog looking for an update. I am so in love with it, and honestly there’s lots of questions I have about it but if I ask all of them this post will be even LONGER and it’s so massive already.

@today-only-happens-once You’re writing is amazing. So many of your fics are so stunning?? I fell in love reading The Only Exception. Still need to go through your masterlist thoroughly, but man everything I’ve read from you so far is so well written and takes my entire heart.

This post wouldn’t be complete without @notalwaysthevillian who actually got me to start shipping Logince with her fic Shattering Stereotypes. And then there’s of course her tangled prinxiety au??? Which I actually really gotta finish but what I’ve read of it? Amazing. 

Oh crap. If void has my favorite artistic mermaid au, @teacupfulofstarshine has my favorite written au. LDAD is a stunning fic and I would die for it. And also her recent atla au fic? I was screaming over it. Also also her moxiety dad au series she did for halloween had my entire heart. Every installment of that series had me so incredibly soft I probably could have cried.

And finally, @randomslasher I really love your writing. Your fic, Starved was one of the first I read in the fandom and I adored every single word. I haven’t actually had the chance to really sit down and binge any of your work that I could find, but I plan on fixing that soon. It’s also?? Really nice to see an older fander! As someone in their twenties and constantly seeing how young everyone is, it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one!

That’s everyone I wasn’t scared of bothering! Everyone who I wanted to shower in my love for their work (and affection for the people I talk to!) This isn’t really in any particular order, beyond me separating the people I talk to from the people I don’t. This post is massive, but I hope everyone enjoys my appreciation for their content!

[tekkai]

New to my blog? Please check this out first! About/ BYF/ etc. 

*✼✿　Just a friendly reminder, this is a self-ship blog not a fandom blog. Thanks! :)  ✿✼*

About:

Hello welcome! I go by many names but most people call me Angel! The names Wolfy or Max, are also fine and very much appreciated. Friends may call me Luci/Lucifer if they like. I’m a Demi-girl and prefer She/Her or They/Them pronouns. 

I’m an adult [18+] and I do occasionally post adult-themed material [Blood, Alchohol, Drug Use, Partial Nudity, ect. ] I have a side blog some of the ‘spicier content’. 

I do try to tag the more common tw appropriately but I may slip up from time to time. If you would like something specific tagged, or have a specific blocked tag you use, my ask box/dms are always open. 

I spend 90% of my self-shipping energy on Rob Lucci from One Piece. He's the only romantic F/O I'm a little uncomfy sharing but everyone else on my list is fair game. If we double you’re welcome to interact with me but I would REALLY appreciate if you had a ship tag I could block. Nothing against you I just get super insecure. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

General Disclaimer:

I love a lot of problematic characters and villains. However, just because I am attached to that character does not mean I support or agree with their actions in canon. I’d be happy to elaborate more if anyone is curious.

Fictional Others:

Note: Not all of my ships have official tags yet, I’m not super creative, but if you want me to tag someone for whatever reason please let me know! I’d be happy to accommodate that!

Major [Not Comfortable Sharing, Sorry!]:

Rob Lucci [One Piece] #Furry Husband, #Barking Up the Wrong Tree (Beastars AU)

Minor Crushes [Comfortable Sharing!]:

Ten [Beastars] #The Fox and her Hound

Shalnark [Hunter x Hunter] #Pastel Boyfriend

Heat [One Piece]

Platonic

Asra [The Arcana]

Valdemar [The Arcana]

Julian Devorak [The Arcana]

Portia Devorak [The Arcana]

Kalifa [One Piece]

Jabra [One Piece] #Paw Patrol

Kaku [One Piece] #Mountain Wind

Blueno [One Piece] 

Stussy [One Piece]

X Drake [One Piece]

Koby/Coby [One Piece]

Helmeppo [One Piece]

Kidd [One Piece]

Killer [One Piece]

Wire [One Piece]

Phinks [Hunter x Hunter]

Feitan [Hunter x Hunter]

Mazikeen [Lucifer]

Penelope Grace Garcia [Criminal Minds]

Familial 

Uvogin, parental [Hunter x Hunter] #Wild Wolf Dad

Chrollo Lucifer, parental [Hunter x Hunter] #Spider Dad

Lucifer, older brother [Lucifer]

Toshinori Yagi, parental [MHA/BNHA] #Hero Dad

Mazelinka, parental [The Arcana] #Pirate Mom

Morga, parental [The Arcana] #Cheetah Mom

Yoosung, brother [Mystic Messenger]

Juno, little sister [Beastars]

Other Blogs/Ways to find me

“Mainblog” but it’s a sideblog

 Archive for the stuff I make

Spicy side blog, ask for link

Ask for switch/discord/steam codes. I’m pretty non-selective about these but I’m also hella nosy and like to know who adds me. =) 

[just-kessho]

Ambrosia: Dazai Happiness Week

[Day 2] Dress Up 

AU: None/Yokai(?)

Warnings: Suicide – this is Dazai, after all. Descriptions of blood and (slight) gore.

[Day 1] [Here] [Day 3] [Day 4] [Day 5] [Day 6] [Day 7]

 [Surname] [Name] has seen many, many, many things because of her Gift, [The Eden Cycle], that may as well have granted her immortality. From joining the battles in the Edo Era that left a (though perhaps imaginary) metallic, coppery taste in her mouth whenever her memories rounded to the deceased, to the putrid smell of rotting bodies mixed with a strong stench of blood that insects would love to craw all over – and don’t get her started on the Dragon’s Head incident…

Oh man, even six years on, her hand would itch for the handle of her blade whenever she thought of that particular massacre.

But really, nothing could have prepared her for this image that she saw with her two eyeballs.

Dazai Osamu was infamous for many things, and failed suicide being one of them, yet he was trying to hang himself using that fur around his neck… which was just simply too short, thus resulting in the brunette really just trying to chock himself with it…

Key word there: trying to choke himself.

Because honestly, that piece of fashion accessory was still too short to be completely wrapped around his neck ending with a knot.

So [Name], being the loving girlfriend that she is, bee-lined straight to him and nearly used her tanto[1] (or well, one of the many that she has on her) that she usually hides all over her clothing to literally cut the thing to shreds.

But when suddenly remembering that the attire Dazai had on was on loan to them, and it was so delicately detailed anyway, she just had enough willpower to hold back.

Although with the male’s face turning a light blue, [Name] did have second thoughts.

Still, ultimately, she decided against using any sharp objects that could not only cut through the fur, but could also accidentally leave a worrisome red line along Dazai’s neck.

(Unlike her, it was rather easy, almost too easy to end his life, despite his many failed attempts. A red cut – deep enough – in his neck would mean a one-way trip to Heaven… a clean stab through his heart would also mean death… and heck, even falling down past a certain height equals an eternal sleep.)

“… You know,” [Name] did not want to think about how the living, breathing person in front of her could die anytime soon anymore, thus she settled on scolding him with an expression that she hoped conveyed her annoyance. “When Kunikida-kun said that a generous shop is going to loan us kimono, I don’t think he meant you could do anything you want with it.”

‘Rather annoyed’ were probably the two words to describe [Name]’s emotion presently, Dazai thought, yet he could decipher the faint twinkle in her eyes and the mouth that trembles for a fraction of a second clearly – after all, perception was one of his forte.

Was she truly worried for him, about him for a moment? How truly precious. He would have hugged her, tightly at that, yet eyeing the traditional kimono (or rather, furisode[2]) that she had on, the brunette held back – just barely. Like the expensive attire he had on, [Name]’s was perhaps even more intricate, and so more expensive. He wagered one of those styles she has on, it was probably worth at least two weeks of pay check for him, perhaps even more.

It was nice, refreshing even, to see her in colours others than the normal black and white, and while her furisode does still have those colours, hey, with the accompaniment of vibrant, pastel coloured flowers and purple, it brought out her beauty even more.

Heh, no wonder many borrow kimono for formal events like these instead of buying them outright.

Still, the same could be said for him – especially that high quality fur he has.

“But [Name]-chan~!” drawing out the female’s name that made her eyebrow twitch, Dazai continued as if that failed suicide did not happen, at all, “that fur looked so comfy, and it really is, so I thought my end could be comfortable as well as clean.”

“Yeah right, I had to waste my time trying to help you. That suicide was by far clean…”

A chuckle met her ears, and her eyes widened at the light laughter that was emitted from her boyfriend’s mouth. That traditional kimono with haori[3] really suited him. If you told her several years ago that Dazai can genuinely laugh with a light pink dusted across his cheeks, then she would have scoffed and walked away muttering “what a joke.” and “wasting my time…” all the while under her breath.

… Still, Dazai looked so happy, so carefree (well, carefree as he was without running calculations and at least twenty back-up plans for the agency) and so… weirdly normal in that expensive kimono of his, so she too, joined his laughter.

Though that did not excuse him for his failed suicide earlier, thus [Name] was going to add an insulting nickname to show her annoyance (not that it always did much, as Dazai would just smile slyly and continue, completely disregarding the nickname), but at the look of utter comfort that was on his face as he rubbed his cheek against the fluffy material, she settled with:

“What are you, a kitsune?”

“But it really is soft and fluffy… of course, no where near that silk known as your hair but come feel it, [Name]!”

And so she did.

Not because she herself wanted to, oh no, even if that fur looked really soft… but because of the way Dazai’s face lit up whenever he felt the item, and she knew if she doesn’t, he really would have annoyed her to no end.

Oh, who was she kidding? It was because of the famous ‘puppy-dog-eyes’ that was aimed straight at her, though strangely enough, today seemed less ‘puppy-dog’ and more… ‘kitsune-foxy’…

Still, it did the job of melting her resolve-

And was he fucking purring?!

No way, the infamous Dazai Osamu, defeated by a mere accessory that people would bat an eye against, purring in delight at its power-

Oh my, that stupid thing really is fluffy…

So, when Nakajima Atsushi, also in a expensive kimono that was way over his finances that the poor boy had to watch where he put every step, wandered in the room, sliding the shoji[4] door, wanting to ask them if they were ready, he was met with a peculiar sight that had him rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. The image of the two most dangerous people that he known of, snuggling into an accessory all the while seeming as if they were in pure bliss, was something that he would not forget in a hurry.

“Uh… [Surname]-san, Dazai-san… are you two ready?”

“Just give us a minute Atsushi-kun.” Dazai had answered, though all of them knew that it was a straight up lie, as they would need at least ten minutes. “[Name] here is looking more and more like one of those cat yokai you often find in old tales.”

“… Bakeneko[5]?”

“No, I’m more of a Nekotama[6] with my age…”

“… [Surname]-san, please stop speaking as if you are an old la-”

He suddenly stopped, for Atsushi realised the irony in the statement… though the actual age of [Name] isn’t known – not even to the female herself, but Vesalius (who was also invited, so Atsushi prayed that he would not strangle Dazai…) had deducted that she would be at least be two-hundred years, as [Name] often had nightmares – or well, past memories in her case – about days of samurai and warfare.

“All right, all right, Atsushi-kun, we’re going…” putting the fur around Dazai’s neck was hard, as [Name] had the sudden urge to just snatch it back and feel the softness eternally, but in the end, with Atsushi exerting a sigh, she, along with Dazai by her side, left the room.

Silently, without witness, the two shadows that were cast by both [Name] and Dazai held hands. Yet what was strange were the nine, fluffy objects (that somehow slightly resembled that weird fur-scarf that came with Dazai’s kimono) that were intruding from the shadow. These nine tails were the classic sign of a kitsune, and even the shadow of the furisode female have a tail, though this one was straight – exactly like a cat’s, yet with the end split equally in two halves.

Just before the light disappeared, thus taking the shadows with it, one of the nine tails found its way towards the tail of the nekotama, and the two enclosed around one another, much like how two couple would hole each other, never wanting to let go.

--------------------------

Notes:

 [1] Tanto: it’s basically a short Japanese sword that was used by the samurai. While I’m not 100% sure, I think Kyouka’s short sword qualifies as one.

 [2] Furisode: traditional kimono worn by unmarried woman/girls

 [3] Haori: a traditional jacket-like kimono

 [4] Shoji: those traditional paper sliding doors you often find in Japan

 [5] Bakeneko: a yokai cat that can shapeshift

 [6] Nekotama: a breed of bakeneko, born the same way as it, though only the oldest, largest (thus with more power and intelligence) cat could become nekotama. Nekotama have two tails

Done! Now, excuse me while I go reblog 2000+ photos of my husbando on my main trash blog. It’s not even 19 June here.

@dazaixhappinessweek2k19

[panickedvulture]

Found this in my drafts, so I’m posting it with no shame to give this blog some life while I’m busy trying to deal with post-endgame feels in the mcu sector of tumblr:

So I had a dream last night that made me realize I spend too much time on this site because it included some of my mutuals and people I enjoy like @theuriearchives ,@yagirlcammmm ,@i-think-im-ready-to-go ,@canyousevmyheavydirtysoul ,@dunjosephurieimagines , and @andbeingblueisbetter to name a few.

I have very vivid dreams and since I write all of them down I figured why not write it here where everyone can see it.

The genre for this dream: a mystery.

The setting: A beautiful cabin (apparently mine) plucked straight out of a “Visiting your SO’s family for the holidays” or a “fake-dating for a visit to your frenemy’s family” AU, my personal favorite. And there was a snowstorm going on outside.

I should also mention everybody had their own appearance. Usually I attach someone’s name with the face in their profile pic, meaning about everybody in this I previously imagined as Brendon Urie at different angles and in different lighting. But thanks to my brain randomly generating faces for everybody, I will be greatly confused in the case that I ever learn what you actually look like.

So, the topic at hand is, as it always is, Brendon Urie. Everybody’s cuddled up on the couch and on the floor in their pajamas drinking hot chocolate, eating dessert, and writing/giving ideas. In the background AFYCSO plays on an old record player, the fire is flickering beautifully alongside some black and white videos of old Panic! performances playing on one of those old big-backed TVs with lines across the screen – at this moment I feel like I am once again a preschooler laying on my stomach and watching movies in a pile of other preschoolers at my old after-school program but I digress–

Then somebody has the audacity to break into my house.

Me being the host of this gathering, I feel obligated to check on the noise. It doesn’t help that literally everyone stops what they’re doing to push me in the direction of the mysterious noise before going back to talking about the size of Brendon Urie’s dick (a conversation brought up by i-think-im-ready-to-go, just thought I should mention that).

So I get up, the second my back is turned nobody cares and I go into the bathroom only to find it flooded because this intruder flushed literally everything it could down the toilet.

To name a few things, it flushed:

1) The monstrous dildo linked on a post by beautiful-tragic-fallout (i don’t mean to call anybody out but its been on my dash with every damn refresh for the past week), who i-think-im-ready-to-go and theuriearchives make a point to explain is out of the house buying us more chocolate-covered strawberries.

2) Every single piece of Pretty. Odd. memorabilia I can imagine because someone just has it out for that album.

3) For those of you who have seen Monsters Inc, the toys Boo flushed down the toilet in that one scene.

4) An entire manuscript that my mind recognizes as smut written by @xxip-smut

5) And pink, fucking, crocs

So I walk back into the living room and round everybody up, declaring we’re on a manhunt for whoever the fuck had the audacity to break into my house, and with that we separate into groups. Accompanying me is Cam who wields a flamethrower while wearing pastel yellow pajamas with baby elephants printed on them.

Eventually after getting tired of Cam pointing the flamethrower at my head even when in ‘resting position’ and scaring the shit out of me, we go into the basement only to find everybody else chose to search the basement and the rest of you have been arguing about who actually gets to search the basement.

Long story short, the basement doesn’t get searched.

Instead to deal with the tension, dunjosephurieimagines suggests we all go back to talking about Brendon’s dick. So we go back to talking about Brendon’s dick.

We sit on the floor in a circle in this basement not realizing its dark and creepy as hell, and if you’ve seen That 70s Show the ‘camera’ moves around in this circle to focus on the face of whoever’s talking. The conversation adds up to smut, theuriearchives pulls out a blunt and i-think-im-ready-to-go pulls out a gun, we start playing russian roulette. Out of guilt for not writing a request sent to me months ago because I suck, I give andbeingblueisbetter a free shot at me. Being a saint they don’t take the opportunity yet.

So anyway, being high and creative a thought comes to us all at once. This thought…where the fuck is @loverontheleft ?

Now we’re all mad and sad and scared and alone because where, the fuck, is cece? Everybody starts asking everybody if they’ve seen her, we conclude the answer is no and we all start freaking out.

Then we realize canyousevmyheavydirtysoul (codename: Sev) is being really quiet.

We all turn and just stare like “So um….whats up?”

Flash-forward, this is all of us trying to figure out cece’s identity, sev is just sitting on the floor smiling and reacting to everything we say with reaction gifs they pull up on their phone, meanwhile we’re all screaming running around, we’ve made a literal office out of this basement and we have glasses and slip-on ties on top of our pajamas.

Then there’s a noise upstairs because we forgot there was someone who broke into my house.

Y’all turn on me and push me up the stairs to my death, I realize this is the cabin that appears in the bodyguard series at one point (wonderfully written by canyousevmyheavydirtysoul, binge it), and in front of me is the super fancy dining room table. There’s mail on it, some envelopes, and I’m like uh no and turn around to come back downstairs.

But you’re all at the bottom of the stairs staring at me and threatening me with your knives and Cam’s flamethrower – where you got the knives I don’t know. I hesitate in turning around for a second so andbeingblueisbetter shoots me.

But I’m like, you know, walk it off. So I do and I go to the table. I’m terrified, break out into a nervous sweat, but it’s fine.

I go and open the folder.

And O - fucking - kay

If you haven’t read the bodyguard series or ready to leap I’m not gonna detail any spoilers, just the main plot given right away, and even if you have it probably won’t help this make any more sense. Here….is the story:

Our beloved Cece started off as a teacher, right? But not just any teacher, Ms. fucking Milton, who started a relationship with the music teacher of her high school, Mr. Urie, who in this case is in fact Brendon Urie of our universe and lead singer of Panic! at the Disco. But the deal with him is that he got tired of the fame and through extensive work he managed to get rid of all the files that legally point to him as being Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco. And for the first few years of his teaching, all the kids knew he was Brendon Urie I mean come on, but eventually the whole school and town settle on the idea that this is just one of those situations where twins are separated at birth and coincidentally given the same exact name. So boom, they do what they do – but newsflash, Cece is Y/n from the Bodyguard series and knowing Mr. Urie’s relationship with Ms. Milton, S.H.I.E.L.D pulls a Hydra Bucky Barnes situation in order to train Brendon into the best damn bodyguard the world could imagine because Cece is a valuable asset that needs the absolute best protection. Canyousevmyheavydirtysoul was like a journalist or something for S.H.I.E.L.D and witnessed all of this go down, knows every little thing about these two. So they get trained, they get close, drama happens, then they’re all put under-cover. Brendon goes back to being Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco, Sev and Cece are assigned to live their current lives and specifically assigned to write their stories for this Tumblr community to get everybody off their trails.

And then I look up. And there’s cece and I think…

“She is about to fucking, kill me.”

I try to throw the folders at her but for some reason I can’t throw anything in my dreams, so I get frustrated that my arm just won’t work, Cece in the meanwhile uses this time to approach me. My mind can’t even generate her an appearance and I think that she’s wearing a disguise because she’s like a spy or something that did after all break into my house to clog my toilet with dildos.

We maintain eye contact for what my dream-self recalls as a long time. I feel this energy in my soul I have never felt before and it is not fun, I don’t like it.

She takes the folder from me and gives me a red one.

And with her eyes piercing my soul, I get this feeling that literally has my skin vibrating even after I wake up, and I hear this voice that’s like “I know you know. And I’m watching you.”

So I woke up in a cold sweat obviously and tried to suppress this whole thing but it kinda lingered in the back of my mind all day. Then the weird tiny details came back to haunt me when I saw the elephants at the zoo. 

[randomfandomginger]

SoulService

Hiya! So recently, due to me taking 500-1000 word requests for sanders sides prompts, @ask-villegas-sides asked me to do a small fic for their sides. I wouldn’t usually do something like this, but it seemed like fun, and I had an awesome time writing it! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

I did end up going a little over a thousand words, cause I just couldn’t stop! :) It was super fun to write, and while I did take a few creative liberties, I don’t think I strayed too far from the original creative vision. Anywho, ask-villegas-sides is a super cool blog, and I hope that y’all check them out if you haven’t already! (I will be posting an edited version of this fic using the sanders sides names on my AO3 as well)

Prompt: Soulmate AU where everyone on their 20th birthday gets a text from SoulService, a trip planner specifically designed for finding soulmates, California man Lev certainly wasn’t expecting to be texted pre-paid plane tickets to meet his soulmate across the country in Florida! 

-----

“Oh, Lev, this is wonderful!” his mother exclaimed, practically dancing around his childhood pastel painted bedroom. “My little boy, all grown up and ready to meet his soulmate!” 

Lev’s heart was pounding, hands clammy as he stared down at his phone. The text tone had been like any other, and the notification from SoulService lay right under an unopened text from his friend Beckett, asking if he had left his hoodie at Lev’s. Would Lev be less nervous if his mother hadn’t insisted he come home for his birthday? Probably not. 

“Well, what are you waiting for? Look at what they wrote you!” His mother’s grin was wide, and Lev could feel his stomach twist. 

Hands shaking, he unlocked the phone, the message popping up on the screen:

Welcome, Lev Foster! SoulService wishes you a happy birthday, and a good life. Your message is as follows:

Greetings, soulmate. I’ve been waiting to meet you for three months now, and am excited at the prospect of getting to know you better. SoulService was kind enough to notify me that we live in two separate states, so I have taken the liberty of booking you a plane ticket to visit me out here in Florida. I prefer to speak in person, so I will disclose any of my more personal information after you land. I hope to see you soon.

Your message ends here. Thank you for using SoulService!

“Rather forward, aren’t they?” His mother was reading over his shoulder. “Asking you to fly all the way out to Florida.” 

But Lev was grinning, already clicking on the attached file. “Florida, huh?”

The week flew by, filled with packing and repacking, and packing again. Lev wanted to make cookies for the trip, but Beckett assured him that there would be cookies in Florida. Beckett also gave him lots of facts and tips about Florida, many of which Lev suspected were made up. 

“I hear that it’s overrun by alligators, and the people just avoid them where they can.”

“It’s so humid that it feels like you’re swimming through the air.” 

“Apparently, the old to young people ratio is three to one.” 

And finally, the day arrived. And Beckett had nothing more to say to him than a slightly teary (though he would never admit it) “Good luck.” Lev waved to his family as he left to look for his terminal. One slightly jittery plane ride to Florida later, Lev stood with his baby blue backpack, gazing all around at the hustle and bustle of this new place. 

Tourists were the first thing he noticed, heartbeat picking up a little as he looked left and right for the sign. They wore hats and Hawaiian t-shirts and were currently joining him in gaping at everyone and everything around them. Lev spotted a little boy, not more than two, give him a toothy grin and wave shyly at him. He beamed at the child, waving back. 

There was a small group of people waiting around and holding signs, most of them seeming bored or uninterested. It’s as good a place as any to try and find my soulmate, Lev thought, beginning to make his way over to them. He could feel butterflies in his chest even as he thought  of the word soulmate. 

He was coloring a picture of a butterfly. His mother sat on the floor next to him, braiding her long auburn hair.

“Everyone has a second half, Lev.” 

“Even me?” Lev’s eyes were wide, shining with childlike joy. 

His mother smiled at him endearingly. “Even you. And when you find them, like your father found me, the two of you will click. You’ll know them when you see them, for sure. They’re as much your beginning as they are your end. Fate has written the two of you together.”

His father was sipping his coffee at the table. “Your generation has it easy, kiddo,” he said, a small smirk adorning his face. “With SoulService technology, more people than ever find their one true match. And believe me, it’s not something you want to miss out on.” 

His father shot his mother another smile, as Lev felt his mind begin to whir, thinking about all the possibilities his future would hold. He doodled another, smaller butterfly next to the first. Would his soulmate be nice? If they were his other half, they had to be! Would they like coloring and puppies as much as he did? He sure hoped so! 

Lev bit his lip nervously, still dragging his blue suitcase behind him, as he looked over the people and their handheld signs. His heartbeat skyrocketed. There. Him. 

The young man in question was holding a plain white sign, the word ‘Foster’ written in black pen in the center of it. His handwriting was neat, methodical. He was wearing a black shirt, and a necktie. And almost as if in a dream, he looked up, and locked eyes with Lev. 

A small shock seemed to go through Lev’s body, and he all but floated over to the man with his last name. Finally in front of him, his tongue seemed too big for his mouth. 

“Greetings,” the man said, a pleasant smile adorning his face. “I presume that you are Lev. My name is Flint. I apologize for the somewhat sudden and forward action of inviting you to my home state, however I presumed that it would be optimal for us to meet as soon as-” his voice died in his throat, confusion and alarm making their way across his face. “You- you’re crying,” he stated. “Are you okay? Have I done something wrong?”

Lev stifled a small giggle, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m just so overwhelmed!” he made out. “I’m here, with you, and you’re standing right in front of me, and you’re so cute and proper, and-” Lev couldn’t take it anymore, he all but tackled Flint in a huge hug, sending the both of them stumbling. “I’m just so glad that you’re here,” he whispered, grinning wider than he ever had before. 

He could feel Flint’s arms wrap around him as well, just as well as he could feel his smile, and the happiness radiating off of him. “Likewise,” Flint whispered back.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Super Long Angsty Fics

Links Last Checked: May 15th, 2022

Bad Boys Don't Smile (wattpad) - phanci

Summary: Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'.

But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?

Birthday Sex (ao3) - danfanciesphil

Summary: The rules are pretty simple. Whoever's birthday it is gets whatever they want, no questions asked. A bi-annual sex treaty. It's the perfect answer to getting rid of all of that pent up angst, leftover desire and sexual frustration they feel for each other. And seriously, it'll be fine. There's no way anyone can be manipulated or end up with their feelings hurt or anything like that. Granted, friends-with-benefits has a bad rep, but how could this possibly go wrong?They've got it all planned out.

Blindsided (ao3) - obliviongrace

Summary: Before cactus plushies and lava lamps there were white walls and broken blinds. After moving to London, Dan and Phil’s lives explode with the stress of a million subscribers and trying to get a radio show and invaded privacy. Phil is just trying to keep the world out, but Dan is worried they might shut each other out along the way.

Bluebird (ao3) - lvckyphan

Summary: An unlikely tale of odd affection and baffling fondness between a pair of outcasts in a ramshackle orphanage comes to be plagued by tragedy when they move away to the green idleness of Scotland. Six years scuttle by, and all that was promised to remain simple is replaced by the ugly misfortune of dirty secrets, traumatic yesterdays and Phil Lester’s forbidden feelings for Dan Howell.

Demons (ff.net) - HarryPForever

Summary: Dan self-harms and is anorexic. Can Phil help him battle his demons, or is he too tightly held in their grip?

Disturb the Universe (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary:  Dan and Phil are a successful YouTube duo, best friends and next door neighbors. Phil's married with two kids and Dan's long term boyfriend is like the queen's cousin or something. Their lives are fine--perfectly acceptable--but when two unrelated emergencies land Dan and Phil living together for the first time since 2012, they're forced to examine the choices they've made and confront the feelings they've kept quiet for nearly a decade.

Growth Of Plastic Flowers (ao3) - orphan_account 

Summary: Dan is a famous musician who started out on Youtube all the way back in 2009, known for his dark lyrics that contrast with his closet of various pastels. Now, a trip to Japan for a music video shoot may lead to uncovering secrets from his past that he's desperately tried to forget for years.This is the story of a boy who feared love and the other whom he fell for.

heart full of headlines (ao3) - dantiloquent

Summary: Phil Lester has a lot of good things: supportive friends, a lovely dog, a world tour, a famous writing blog. He also has magic. It shouldn't be a problem - except, in a world where magic is hated and mocked, it is. After a disastrous run in with Guardian-acclaimed "Modern Beat Generation Boy" Dan Howell ends in an unexpected friendship, Phil finds himself having to make more and more choices. While his blog sends him all over the world, and while their friendship develops, Phil can't help but bring it all back to one pivotal issue: who can he tell?

Let Me Down Gently (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase

Summary: AU in which Dan is (briefly) a lawyer, until he gets fired and kicked out by his girlfriend. Wandering alone at night looking for a place to stay, he happens across a slightly strange man who introduces himself as Phil and who owns a B&B. Without much choice, Dan takes up the offer to stay there, and quickly grows to have a certain fondness for Phil. There’s only one problem: Phil runs the B&B with his long-term partner Alex.

Libertadores (Liberators) (ao3) -  DumpsterDiving101

Summary: The current conflict in Venezuela told through the eyes of two boys who are not supposed to be in love, not supposed to protest, and not supposed to fight. But they do anyways.

Love You For Always (ao3) - TwistedRocketPower

Summary: In the UK, an estimated 6,000 children die each year. When Dan and Phil became parents almost seven years ago, they never imagined they would become a part of that statistic.

Phil Lester Saved Me (ao3) - EvaSage

Summary: Dan Howell is a sad lawyer. Phil Lester is a weatherman who brings sunshine wherever he goes. Dan has had a crush on him ever since he ambled into his office, looking for advice on a parking ticket. Now Phil has been hit by a car and he needs representation in court. Will Dan be able to overcome his anxiety to win both the case and the other man's heart?

Quiet Rebellion (ao3) - Sofia_books134

Summary: A 80's, American Phan fic where Dan likes Phil more than Phil likes Dan.

Sweet Pea - botanistlester

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath.

Teeth (ao3) - lvckyphan

Summary: “I am hoping to make a discovery here, to express the feelings of two lovers by a marriage of two complementary colors, their minglings and their oppositions, the mysterious vibrations of kindred tones.” — Vincent Van Gogh.

The story of a broken marriage between a retired writer and his manic husband, and their twisted capabilities to make language bleed.

the part of you they’ll never see (is the part you’ve shown to me) - The_Blonde

Summary: Sometimes it’s strange to think that he’s met Dan with three different names, in two different places. Sometimes he has to catch himself from referring to Dylan like he was a real person, an actual ex-boyfriend, rather than the same boyfriend he has now, just under a different name. Sometimes the backstory that he’s created for Dylan (the one Dan was too lazy to commit to) takes on a life of its own. But then, he did spend a few lonely months coming up with it.

Or: Editing Student Phils and their Ex Art Thief boyfriends.

Those Who Trust (ao3) - theshyauthor

Summary: (tw) Dan used to be a submissive and now he’s just a broken shell of a man.

Ubi sunt qui ante nos fuerunt? (ao3) - TheOrangeAurora

Summary: After a heated, recurring argument, Dan leaves the apartment to calm down. Little did they know that by Dan walking out on his and Phil's fight, both of their lives will change drastically. It's a story of how unfortunate coincidences and an unjust sentence can forever change a person.

What Happens When You Don't Take a Chance (ao3) - rowan_e

Summary: Phil can’t sleep lately, and the only explanation was the useless romantic feelings he’d developed for his roommate and best friend, Dan Howell...

Now that Phil knows what happens when you don’t take the chance, he realizes that lesson wasn’t meant for him.

[cyclinglegs]

La Course

Annemiek van Vleuten from Orica won the 4th edition of La Course, a race that took in a mountain stage on day on a Col d’Izoard 67.5 km mountains, and a 22.5 km time trial pursuit on day two.

The best twenty riders from Thursday’s stage won the right to compete for the win in today’s second event, with the time gaps from the Izoard carried into a staggered start for the 22.5kilometre time trial course around Marseille.

Phil Anderson

I will be at home this year, the first time since at least the late 70’s watching Le Tour supporting the Aussies – http://philandersoncycling.com.au/blog/my-tour-de-france-2017

As you may have heard, Phil had a nasty crash on a training ride in Melbourne last week.

It’s been a tough day in the office. Sitting up and feeling great after a rough training ride. For the first time in my career I have a broken collar-bone and broken every rib on my left side. All things considered, not bad and I can’t remember a thing.

Apparently Phil was found wandering on the roadside with concussion. It is thought the crash was the result of either a pothole or a wallaby.  I’m going with the pothole theory as the Wallabies haven’t been able to stick a tackle for years.

When it comes time to work out whether to sty home or go to next years TdF, I’m guessing Phil will be going.

Given his long professional cycling career, it’s surprising that this is his first Collar Bone

Speedy recovery Phil.

_______________________________________________________

Warmfront

A funny little tea-towell looking thing with a vicars collar arrived at the Wednesday Legs testing lab a few months ago, going by the name of Warmfront

Made in Colarado, it came with the promise:

“The Warmfront is a chest warmer, but it’s a better thermal base layer”

The Warmfront is made from a waffle fleece, which sounds delicious to a cyclist, is lightweight, and with the velcro tab collar, allows you to ride with it stadshed nice and neat in your back pocket without taking up much space. At 51g, you barely know it’s there.

When you ned it, it’s easy to whip it out, place down your front, attach the collar around your neck and wallah, off you go, down into the great known. Coming back from mid-summer riding in France a few weeks back to mid-winter riding in Adelaide was hard to take.  Whilst we don’t generally get sub-zero temperatures, the Adelaide Hills can get awfully close, and throw in wind chill, it can be very uncofortable.

I popped out for a ride in the Superb Adelaide Hills (have I mentioned that before?) the previous weekend. Blue skys, no rain, halelulah. The route took me up Greenhill road, around to Mylor, up the 4 Whores, Morgan Road, Pole Road and wrapping back around to Redberry Cafe for a coffee with Mrs Wednesday and Wednesday Junior.

It was 5 degrees in Adelaide when I left, so assuming the usual 3 – 5 degrees difference at the top of Greenhill road, it was going to be a bloody cold ride, so with three layers and a Warmfront thrown into the rear pocket, I figured this would be a good test.

I’m glad I did – I robed up at the top of Greenhill road, and then spent the next three glorious hours cruising the Adelaide Hills comfortable not numb (showing my age there). The Warmfront worked a treat gliding down into Mylor, which for those in the know is one of the coldest spots in the Adelaide Hills. With the waffle on the front only, any heat buildup can escape on the back, so I didn’t need to remove it on the short sharp climbs in the hills. In fact, I was a littl econcerned that I would be pulling it on and off on the rolling Adelaide Hills, but I was quite surprised that I was able to keep it on for the remainder of the ride.

So my verdict, I was glad I had it with me and it’ll be with me on my winter Hill rides – highly recommended for those colder months riding in the hills.

The Warmfronts are distributed in Australia by Full Beam – see here for details on the Warmfront – Fullbeam

Oh, and this was some of the country side I rode through on that cold cold morning

___________________________________

Adelaide Cycling Maps by Velo-Port

For those looking for some ideas on where to ride in Adelaide, the guys over at Velo-Porte have pulled together some great rides that provide a great sample of all that the Adelaide Hills have to offer.

On offer are a variety of lengths and climbing difficulty, and sitting behind each of these maps are a detailed description of what to expect along each of the major sections of the rides.

VP’sn description of the 75km VPCC KOM Loop ride is on point.

This one is not for the faint-hearted. We may not have the monsterously long climbs of Europe but we can stitch together endless climbs of different grades and lengths.

The combined climbs highlighted below add up to about 18 kms of climbing and 1720m of elevation.

It’s not the longest ride out there but we’ve struggled to write about any of the flat sections, mostly because there aren’t any.

This is a great training ride or if you just feel like testing the legs, give it a crack.

Enjoy?

So check them out here – http://www.velo-porte.com/local-knowledge  

Those coming from interstate will find this a very useful source of cycling inspiration – oh, don’t forget you can also hire a good bike of you don’t want to bring your own

______________

Annecy – France

Please bare with my self indulgance – this is the last of my holiday pics.

Part 3 of my France trip, which seems so long ago now, had me heading over to Annecy for 4 days before I flew back to Adelaide.

Annecy is an alpine town in southeastern France, where Lake Annecy feeds into the Thiou River. It’s known for its Vieille Ville (old town), with cobbled streets, winding canals and pastel-colored houses. Overlooking the city, the medieval Château d’Annecy, once home to the Counts of Geneva, contains a museum with regional artifacts such as Alpine furniture and religious art, plus a natural history exhibit.

Why Annecy – I’m glad you asked.

I can recall watching last years TdF, listening to Robbie McEwan on the SBS commentary team talk about how Annecy would be his preferred home in Europe if given the chance.

It was around then that I was starting to think about that trip to France, and Robbie’s comments were parked for future reference. The next day, I saw a friends posting on Facebook, they were on holiday in Annecy when the tour came through that day, and her daughter was more interested in something going on in the shade away from the heat than she was in this world-famous race just a few metres away.

Following on from Robbie’s comments, I asked my friend about Annecy, and she responded by saying that they had been staying in Annecy every summer holidays for over 5 years (they live in the UK), and liked it so much they had just bought a holiday house there.

Aaaannnd,

  the offer was put out that it was available if me and the family wanted to make use of it.  That offer was parked.

So, when the trip with Unique Cycling Tours came on the radar, and starting/finishing in Lyon, just a few hours train from Annecy, the ball was set in motion, emails sent, negotiations on the home front, and plans made to extend my trip to take advantage of the generous offer.

Take a look at this. Oh my!

After getting dropped off at Lyon airport by the Unique Cycling Tours crew at the end of the trip, Ed, Ferg and myself caught the light rail from the Saint-Exupéry train station at the airport into Gare de la Part-Dieu – the old Lyon train station. Ed and I were both heading to Annecy, Ed to catch up with a friend before they headed over to the UK for a walking holiday, Ferg came along because he was hanging around in Lyon an extra day and decided to have a look see in Lyon – he came in handy as we needed someone who could half-speak French – ish.

The train station at the airport is stunning, modern concrete and steel structure that looks like a steam punk style cockroach – or if you squint your eyes, it could be a swooping magpie.

The train out to Annecy took a few hours, lovely countryside, a few lakes, and then popping out in Annecy. I found out that Sunday evening in Annecy is not the ideal time to be looking for a Taxi. I arrived around 6:30pm, and an hour later and 3 knock-backs, which I think my bike bag looked like too much hassle. I found out later in the week from a local that there are few taxis around on Sunday, and those that were around didn’t want to venture too far from town – my accommodation was 15km down the lake.

A quick call to my friend Michelle in the UK for some ideas had me heading to a local pub  – Au Beureau – for a meal to bide my time before trybig for a taxi a little later.  As it turned out, the head waiter spoke pretty decent English, and after a couple of Blondes of the Belgium Beer variety (Leffe) and a bite to eat, I asked and received help from said head waiter. Brilliant. He called the taxi company, was advised they would search for a cab that could take my bike bag, called back 15 minutes later to see if there was any progress, asked me if I was ok to share (Yes), and then helped me with my bags when the taxi when it arrived.  Outstanding service. Check them out here.  http://www.aubureau-annecy.fr/

 In fact, looking at the pubs Facebook site,  this picture sprung out because the young lady just right of centre front with the long braided hair was my waitress, and the young man next to her right shoulder was the head waiter who helped me. Thanks guys, your effort was very much appreciated.

The second surprise of my Annecy stay was the taxi ride itself. The taxi – a BMW 4 Series Gran Coupe, cool. The share passenger sat in the front, I sat in the back surrounded by my baggage stuffed in, and with the window down and the warm wind in my face, I was given a great tour of the lake as the taxi driver – a close relation to Alain Prost, took me on a journey around te lake as he dropped the share passenger opposite from where I was going – no drama. That journey was bliss, all the worries of how I was going to find my accomodation drafted out the window – I was given a fantastic 3/4 loop of the lake. The thoughts going through my brain were along the lines of “I wonder whether the company I worked for would like to set up an office in Annecy”. First impression – impressive – looks like a great adult playground.

Arriving at the house, seeing the gate slide back when I punched the code into the panel – such a huge a relief.

OK, without going into the boring day by day details of my 4 days, I’ll give some brief highlights.

Standing on the front Porch of the house had me looking over the lake and up to the mountains on the other side.

At night, looking across the lake, the lights of a restaurant far up in the mountains opposite shone bold and bright in the dark skyline, and therefore a target for a ride the next day ride. The ride up through the mountain roads was stunning as expected and the views back down onto the lake were impressive, but the highlight of this days ride was finding my way to the main launch platform for the para-gliders that are seen circling Lake Annecy most days.

Have a look at these few videos from up top.

  There were a staggering number of jumpers – is that what you call them? – all in their groups, all waiting their turn to throw themselves off the edge. Before I saw them, I would never have contemplated something like this, I could never build up the courage to do, but sitting down watching the takeoffs and the gliding, it was mesmersing and didn’t look as scary as I thought. I could almost imagine myself doing this.

The main sticking point for me, apart from the launching into space, was watching the jumpers uintangle and sort out the strings connecting them to the parachute. I can see myself getting in a big tangle.

The Bike Path

Surrounding Annecy, or 3/4 of it, is a bike path. On one side of the lake is a dedicated two lane oath that is mostly flat and well removed from the road. The other side of the lake has a mix of undulating paths and quiet side roads. The main dedicated path squirts out the bottom end all the way up to Albertville.

Annecy itself is a funny town. The old town section looks an absolute treat, plenty of charm and terriffic photo opportunities, but it changes from a lovely quaint olde world village feel before the main shops open around 10 ish, into one of those clichéd tourist precincts with jam-packed restaurants and cafes along the canals and tourist shops. My first day I popped out on the bike looking for some breakfast and ended up riding into town and around the lake.

The following day I popped in early afternoon, the old town was jam-packed and with the sardine tinning of the old town, it was hard to ignore the massess and focus on the buildings and surroundings I had seen the previous day.

That being said, Annecy is more than the old town, and the beauty and charm of the place, the lake, the outdoor activities, the cafes and bars, and dare i say it sme half decent coffe, the proximity to snow fields and the great riding tracks, all make for a brilliant holiday destination.

My last full day had me riding up the mountain behind me – no idea what I would find other than the fact I knew it was a dead-end.  Another fabulous morning ride, up through a village halfway up, the hill, through dark forests, discovering, walking and riding down tracks that were barely visible from the road, only to pop out on the edge of the mountain and discovering a “hidden” paragliding launch pad, much smaller than the previous one, with 7 – 8 jumpers preparing themselves for launch. The thermals these guys were picking up on this side of the lake had them soaring above our heads within minutes.  Quite amazing – makes me think twice about giving it a go at some time in the future.

Make sure you turn the sound up for the below.

And a few vids from the other side.  I love this one.

Baguette time – oh yeah!

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Tour de France

Congratulations to the classification winners at this years Tour.

General Classification – Maillot Jaune (Yellow Jersey)

    Points classification – Green Jersey

  Mountains classification – Polka Dot

    Young rider classification – White Jersey

  There’s some big names that have donned the White Jersey:

2000 Francisco Mancebo (ESP) 2001 Óscar Sevilla (ESP) 2002 Ivan Basso (ITA) 2003 Denis Menchov (RUS) 2004 Vladimir Karpets (RUS) 2005 Yaroslav Popovych (UKR) 2006 Damiano Cunego (ITA) 2007 Alberto Contador (ESP) 2008 Andy Schleck (LUX) 2009 Andy Schleck (LUX) 2010 Andy Schleck (LUX) 2011 Pierre Rolland (FRA) 2012 Tejay van Garderen (USA) 2013 Nairo Quintana (COL) 2014 Thibaut Pinot (FRA) 2015 Nairo Quintana (COL) 2016 Adam Yates (GBR)

Great to see Simon keep it in the family.

With Simon and Adam with Orica (hands off Sky), along with Chavez and with the possible transfer of Mike Nieve Ituralde from Team Sky, the next 2 – 3 years are looking quite solid for the GC classifications across the 3 week races.

This years tour, some would say, was a lop sided again with Team Sky controlling the ride right from the start to the finish. Chris Froome won his 4th TdF without winning a stage, the team were marking his major rivals blah blah blah.

Oh, and Team Sky, which has the biggest budget of the peloton, has now snatched five of the last six titles.

I found this years tour to be quite fascinating. With the changing fortunes and on road dramas of favourites in the other classification made for exciting and fascinating racing. You were never quite sure what to expect. The racing was exciting, the climbing stages like up Croix de Foir followed b the Galibier, with Contador lighting up the stage up front, but unable to close it out, only for  Primoz Roglic to claw his way to the lead half way up the Galibier and draw away was just stunning.

Then there were the crashes and disqualifications that played a huge part in the look of the final classifications . Not detracting from the from the classification winners, they deserve everything that is coming towards them. The tour is a trial of survival over 21 stages of unbelievably gruelling hard days of riding.  But, there is no doubt that the viewing public was looking forward to seeing Porte fight it out with Froome right into France, and Sagans fight with Kittel, oh dear.

And whats all this bonhomie spreading throughout the peloton this year? It seemed that Chris Froome was given way too much respect. I didn’t agree with Aru attacking under his armpit on the 9th stage, but there were a few other incidents where the Peloton waited for him to rejoin.

And at last, the Home of the tour has thrown up something the French can be proud of, its taken a long time with stage 13, 102-kilometre ride from Saint Girons to Foix go to Frenchman Warren Barguil (Sunweb) on Bastille Day.

Warrens win was the first by a Frenchman on Bastille Day since 2005 when David Moncoutié won in Digne. It was also the fourth French win in this Tour after Arnaud Demare (FDJ) won stage four, Lilian Calmejane (Direct Energie) stage eight and Romain Bardet (Ag2r-La Mondiale) stage 12. Unfortunately the French drought of a Frenchman winning the Tour since Bernard Hinault in 1985 has still not been broken, but there are promising signs.

Not forgetting that Man with a Thousand Faces” Thomas Voekler , riding his last Tour de France. Chapeau Thomas, its been fun watching you light up the road with the Mountains classification win in 2012, and 4 individual stages in 2009, 2010 and 2012.

And last, but definitely not least, this weeks rider of the week. You’ll love the before nd after photos of this writeup – I was astounded,

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Rider of the Week – Paul Clode

Paul grew up in the ‘Siberia’ of South Australia… Mt Gambier… and moved to the sunshine of Adelaide to start Uni in early 1989.

Studying Design at Underdale, he quickly found a connection to his country boy roots through riding mountain bikes in the Adelaide hills with a bunch of Uni mates. After Uni he started work at Stratco and, despite a 6 year detour to another company Stratco owned, still find himself there to this day!

Paul looks after a small in-house team of designers who create all kinds of packaging, brochures, catalogues, advertising etc. for the company at their head office at Gepps Cross.

This is Paul’s cycling story

Can you remember what your first bike was?

My first bike was a Repco Husky 10 speed with shifters on the down tube which I got when I was in year 7 at school. This was used as my transport to school and for chuffing around the countryside in the search of adventure.

It wasn’t long before I was tinkering with it… repaint… flat bars (which were becoming popular with these new fangled mountain bike thingys!)

What got you started in cycling?

I didn’t really become a ‘cyclist’ until my Uni days where a couple of guys had these flash mountain bikes with ‘shocks’ on the front. Wow! Cool!

I lashed out and bought a Repco Maxtrax MTB for $170 – that’ll do the job, won’t it?

It didn’t take long to realise I needed something better.

So, I finished Uni, got a job, got a car loan… and bought a GT RTS-3 full suspension MTB! I did spend some of it on a car… but the bike cost more than my car).

  I was hooked. I even started MTB racing, even though back then MTB racing was nowhere near as big as it is now.

But, after a number of years, life got in the way – work, family, my riding friends moving away – and I slowly rode less and less until eventually I stopped riding.

The big problem with this is that I got fat… until one day I realised at 105kgs that I needed to do something about it. Mmmmm… bike riding!

Luckily I was able to lose 25kgs over a year or so, which then made riding easier. I really got serious again in 2012 when I heard a friend talking about the ‘3 Peaks Challenge’ at Falls Creek.

My sense of adventure was awakened and I decided that I might have a go at it. This also meant that I needed to ‘cross to the dark side’ and buy a road bike.

Around that time, Brendon Harslett, one of the dads at my son’s school, heard that I was riding and suggested I join his early morning weekday group.

That’s Brendon on the floor

Once I started they couldn’t get rid of me. They are a great bunch of guys and slowly over time our rides started getting earlier and earlier.

We are now meeting at 5am at the Tower Hotel a couple of times a week… and sometimes even earlier at 4:30am (which means getting up at 3:30am).

The reward is great banter, great riding in the hills and coffee at Argo’s on the Parade at 7am. Mmmmm… coffeeeee.

At a guess, how many bikes have you owned in your life?

I think about 8 bikes in total – I tend to hold onto them and still have my GT RTS-3. It’s an antique! Currently 5 are operational and one MTB frame is in the shed rafters.

The operational fleet includes a Cannondale Synapse (alloy frame), Malvern Star Oppy, Specialized Crux CX bike, the old GT RTS-3 and a GT Force MTB than has been turned into a ‘franken-bike’ with a Zaskar 29er carbon fibre main frame mated to the Force’s alloy rear frame… but with 26” wheels not 29”… crazy, I tell you… CRAZY!!!

What is your main go to bike?

My main bike is the Malvern Star Oppy which was bought off EBay as a frame, repainted and built up with Di2. Bzzzt!

What bike do you covet?

I wouldn’t mind the new Trek Madone… or maybe a Canyon… or maybe a Lightweight Urgestalt..

or… there’s just too many I like! As long as it’s black.

What do you personally get out of cycling?

Cycling is just a great way to get outdoors and refresh the soul (no, I’m not a hippy.. no offence to hippies).  I just love getting out in the hills on a sunny day and talking rubbish with your mates and just enjoying life.

But there MUST be coffee and pastries somewhere on the ride. Not negotiable.

Do you do all your own maintenance or do you use a LBS? If so, which one?

As a long time tinkerer, I do all of my own bike maintenance and building. Wheel truing is about the only thing I’ve never tried – it seems like a ‘black art’ to me. But I’ve had the odd work done over the years by Bicycle Express, Bike Society at Blair Athol and Whippets Workshop and all have been good (no complaints from me!).

If you could have dinner with 3 people from the cycling world (living or dead), who would they be and why?

I’m not much of a cycling fan boy, so I think I’d rather choose the guys I ride with. I reckon that would be far more enjoyable.

Where would you take them to eat?

I’d be happy with KFC, although I don’t think they would (Eds note – I reckon Brendon might! 🙂).

What are your craziest/fondest cycling memories?

Some of my best memories are from my early days of mountain biking. We would often go on loosely planned trips to the Flinders Ranges or the Grampians with inadequate camping supplies, food and equipment – and no real plan.

It was a shambles, but the riding, adventure and mateship always made for a fantastic time.

Have you had any nasty crashes? If so how did the worst occur and what was the consequence?

Luckily I have never crashed a road bike (touch wood) but I’ve had a few spills on the MTB.

The worst was hitting a gate at high-speed on a night ride coming down Chambers Gully. My forearm hit the top rail of the gate as I flipped over it and snapped both bones. Nothing a few steel plates, some screws and bit of time off the bike won’t fix.

I just felt sorry for the poor guy who’s door I knocked on asking for help – his wife had just got home after 6 months away and they were in the middle of getting ‘re-aquainted’! Sorry mate. (Eds note: bwah ha ha ha ha!)

What is the biggest cycling lie you have told a partner?

Apart from the usual ‘halve the cost of all cycling gear/clothing purchases’ lie (is it really a lie…? more like a re-interpretation of the facts based on new evidence) I think the one that comes out most often is the “my ride partner had a flat/mechanical/injury/crash/wasn’t feeling well/was really slow” excuse for being late back from a ride.

What cycling related thing would you like for your next birthday?

A power meter would be nice! Don’t really need it but I like gadgets!

Is there a local cycling outfit/company/cycling club/cycling group/person that you would like to plug?

I’d like to say Keith from Velo-Porte who has been a great supporter of our cycling adventures and trips such as 3 Peaks and Amy’s Gran Fondo in Lorne.

Also the boys at Indigo and Blk-Tec, Brendon Harslett and Simon Zappia – a couple of local boys creating innovative products for cyclists, from right here in Adelaide.

From a non-cycling perspective, what do you love about Adelaide?

I think Adelaide is just the right size for a liveable city and has so much going for it with the hills, the beaches, the food and the TDU!

Apart from the local KFC, what is your non-cycling go-to place when interstaters come to Adelaide?

Anywhere in the hills or wine regions is great, although Hahndorf is probably the first stop for food and drinks for the tourists. And maybe a coffee. And some pastries (now I remember why I got to be so big!).

Thanks Paul, I’m amazed at that drop in weight – simply astounding. If that demonstration of what cycling can do for you, I don’t know what will.

Chapeau Paul Clode

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Well

If I must say so myself, another epic edition of Wednesday Legs

  Trusting you enjoyed it as much as I did pulling it together.

  till next time

tight spokes

iPib

France Extraordinaire La Course Annemiek van Vleuten from Orica won the 4th edition of La Course, a race that took in a mountain stage on day on a Col d’Izoard 67.5 km mountains, and a 22.5 km time trial pursuit on day two.