#glug glug glug. tipping the nearly-empty bottle of costco soy sauce upside-down into the wok. hissssss
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auuggghg wauughh im dying from a deadly diseas. its called ate pizza and macdonalds and soy all in one day disease an d symptoms include exploding. u mgiht want to step back brother
#figjting for my life on the toilet rn you have no idea#it seemed like such a good idea. it seemed like such a good idea.#the pizza. that was like 12 hours ago at this point. and you know i could feel it but i was ok. you know.#same goes for macdonalds. ok sure mcflurry and nuggets and a few fries floatin around in there for like 8 hrs. but it was fine. i was fine.#i get home just before 11pm right. sleepy guy. nap on the couch for an hour. i should have gone to bed. but no.#my hubris. my desire for prawn fried rice. i simply had to have it.#looking back i can see how the universe tried to stop me. no onions. no sesame oil. but i pushed on. i was determined.#i have onion powder. i have peanut oil. you cannot stop me. the battle cry has sounded. the war has begun.#whisk and cook the egg. chop chop chop the bacon and fry with the prawn and garlic. add spices. veggies. and of course rice#add the substitute peanut oil. a... generous amount of oyster sauce. its good. and of course how could we forget the soy sauce#ha. ha ha ha. hahahaahaha. ha. god.#glug glug glug. tipping the nearly-empty bottle of costco soy sauce upside-down into the wok. hissssss#mix mix mix. taste test. adjust a little. shame about the onion but otherwise good. cant wait to eat a bowl.#scoop scoop scoop. fried rice in a bowl. sit and play some turf war while it cools. eat eat eat. listen to sci guys podcast. life is good.#perhaps it would have been fine if it had ended here. my decisions would not have been without consequence but they would be bearable.#it did not end there.#another bowl. another mistake. ingesting more and more soy. gorging myself upon the garden of eden. wrath was fast approaching#i dont know if i really need to explain this next part. to be honest. i think you can probably guess. the pain. the shartblasting. you know#anyway it took me so long to write these tags that im actually mostly fine now and in bed with a kitty so life is good#tomorrow i will eat even more fried rice and maybe even buy that one chocolate soy milk even though it kills me but it tastes sooo good#i will never learn my lesson ever amen#mine#wow long tags. hiiiii if u read all this
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