#glad i didn’t have a bagel or fries at least
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saintofterror · 4 months ago
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body issues shit pls ignore
it’s so weird like watching people treat you nicer bc you’re like a little skinnier but also seeing people just straight up ignore you bc you’re not skinny enough. and i was talking to my friends abt how im not cute enough to flirt or skinny enough for my looks not to matter and they got a little upset but that doesn’t mean it’s not true?? like i know what i see and what ive experienced. i know how people treated me before vs now when i’m 20lbs lighter, and there is a marked improvement and acknowledging that change doesn’t mean i’m like resigning myself or discrediting myself. and it’s nice that you think things will happen to or for me regardless but i can think the sky is green all i want that doesn’t make it so
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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years ago
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Flatbush & Atlantic: part x
part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii part ix
And we’ve finally come to the end of Cass and Mat’s story! I want to thank every person who’s read this over the past few months, especially those of you who have reblogged, commented, and shared this with your friends. Your feedback means the world to me, and please tell me what you think of this final part! I’ve also got some ideas floating around for an epilogue, so don’t be surprised if that pops up in the next few weeks.
part x
May 21 (fri)
For once, it wasn’t Cass’ alarm that woke her up. Her internal clock didn’t let her sleep in past 6, but as she lay in her bed, comforter pulled up to her chin and curls up in a haphazard messy bun, a realization struck her. She didn’t have anything to do, and that was just about as far from normal for her as possible. Normally, she’d be hopping in the shower at this time, getting out and shoveling some cereal down her throat before running to catch the train, or desperately trying to finish some last-minute reading before an early lecture. Her grandparents’ flight didn’t land at JFK until 1, and she wouldn’t need to leave until an hour before that to get Mat and drive to the airport. 
Padding out to the kitchen, she just caught Ryanne, who was about to leave for a clinical rotation. “What department are you in this month?” Cass asked.
“OB/GYN,” Ryanne responded. “I got to observe a birth the other day, and it was one of my favorite things I’ve gotten to do so far. Obviously I don’t know for sure yet, but I think I might want to match into it. You get to do a little bit of everything — there’s some surgery, some routine care, some deliveries. And with the Black maternal health crisis, I figure we need all the Black OBs we can get as a country.” 
Cass smiled. “That’s wonderful, I’m glad to hear.” She knew that Ryanne had been a little stressed out with the prospect of trying to pick a residency; she hadn’t felt drawn to any of the other rotations she’d gone through quite like this one. 
“What about you? What’s your schedule like today?” Ryanne asked as she poured coffee into her travel mug. 
Cass flopped down on the couch, looking over at her. “It’s just...I have nothing to do. Nothing needs to get done. No cases to read, no essays to finish, no paperwork to file or anything. Chris gave me this week off for finals anyways, so I couldn’t even go into the office if I wanted to because there’s just nothing for me to do. Do you know how rare that is for me?”
Ryanne laughed. “Cass, I’m in med school. The last time I had a true ‘off day’ was two weeks ago, and even then I spent most of it studying.” She slung her backpack over one shoulder. “See you tonight, have a good day, babe!”
After some toast and a smoothie, Cass was back on the couch, trying desperately to think of something to do. She thrived on being busy, thrived on feeling like she was needed and contributing to something worthwhile. Pushing herself up, she walked back to her room, deciding to change and go out for a run. Cass liked to keep in shape and exercise as often as she could, even though it had been a few years since she had been on an organized sports team. She was usually able to make yoga classes at the school gym twice a week, but typically didn’t have the spare time in the mornings for a run. And by the time she got back it was almost always dark, way too late to even think about going out alone. 
Lacing up her tennis shoes and grabbing her AirPods and keys, she set out, down the stairs and past the door. As she jogged down the streets, making familiar turn after familiar turn, Cass realized something remarkably profound. Every place she passed had played a part in the last three years. St. Lucy’s, where she had stumbled in with inconsolable tears after her abuelo’s stroke, lighting a candle and praying with some old Italian woman for his recovery. The bodega on the corner run by Carlos Gonzalez, one of the first people she met when she moved to the city and the only one who knew how to smoosh her sandwiches down how she likes. The Edible Arrangements where she, Stella, and Ryanne had bought Alicia a congratulatory fruit bouquet for finally asking out her coworker Juliette. They had been dating for six months. The high school she passed every morning on her way to the subway station. These were the people and places that had made her life what it was, and she owed them her thanks. 
An hour and five miles later, Cass decided to call it quits, walking the last few blocks back to the apartment as a sort of cool-down. She jumped in the shower, throwing her hair up in a towel once she got out and resigning herself to watching whatever was on TV. Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives it was, apparently. Four episodes and one snack break later, it was time to get in the car to head over and pick up Mat. Cass drove down Manhattan Island, tapping her fingers in boredom as she hit yet more traffic. It was noon, why was there even traffic in the first place? She pulled into the visitor’s spot in the underground lot of Mat’s apartment complex, taking out her phone. Just got here! Mat popped out of the elevator a few minutes later, holding a bouquet of tulips. “Sorry I’m late, I was going back and forth between tulips and sunflowers for awhile, but I figured the pink was maybe a better choice? What do you think?” Cass started to laugh, and Mat looked offended. “What?”
“Babe, it’s so sweet that you want to impress my grandma, but have you thought about how the poor flowers will fare?”
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Cass adjusted her seatbelt, leaning over. “We’re going to be out for awhile. We’re not going straight back to their hotel. So…” she prompted.
“They’ll wilt.” Mat finished, his face falling. 
She covered his hand with her own. “Don’t worry. It’s a sweet gesture and I’m sure she’ll appreciate them. We’re all going out for dinner after the ceremony tomorrow, why don’t you bring them then?” 
He perked up. “I’ll run up and put them back in a vase, be back in a few!” Mat gave Cass a quick peck on her cheek, leaving her with just one question. Mat owned vases? He slid back into the passenger’s seat shortly after, clicking his seatbelt in and connecting his phone to the speakers. 
Cass rolled her eyes. “I don’t know a single guy your age who’s not obsessed with John Mayer. It’s kind of weird, honestly.”
“You don’t like him?” Mat asked curiously. Cass was usually into more guitar-based, acoustic stuff, so he figured she’d be into at least some of his stuff. 
“Some of it,” Cass responded, pulling out of the lot and onto the street. “Go ahead and play it, I don’t mind at all. Not what I’d usually put on if I’m alone, that’s all.”
Mat nodded, looking absentmindedly out the window. “So, what should I know about your grandparents?”
Cass’ face immediately burst into a smile at their mention. It was always so clear how much she loved her family, and that was one of Mat’s favorite things about her. How hard she loved. “Alright, so it’s Dolores and Roberto Cabrera. They’re wonderful people, I genuinely think you’re going to like them a lot. They’re both super fluent in English, so don’t worry about communication. They originally immigrated to Texas when they were in their teens, abuela was a housekeeper at a few hotels in San Antonio and abuelo worked in the fields for awhile before getting a job at a little hardware store in town, where he worked until they retired. My mom’s the middle of four, two older sisters and a younger brother.”Mat listened intently. “My abuelo’s a little more rough around the edges, so don’t be surprised if he gives you  a little bit of a hard time, but it’s not out of malice or anything. He’s always been very protective over us, my mom and her siblings, and now us three. He might do the whole ‘nobody’s good enough for my Cassidy” thing, but he’ll get over it. He means well.” 
She glanced over at Mat, who was looking decidedly nervous. “Seriously, chou, it’s going to be fine. Abuela’s totally different, they’re like polar opposites. I can almost guarantee that she’ll say something to the effect of ‘if my granddaughter loves you, I love you.’ Very much go with the flow, she’ll probably want to come over to your apartment and cook for you.” Her expression softened. “As long as you’re kind and respectful, they won’t have an issue with you, Mat. They’ll see that you treat me how I deserve to be treated and love me like I deserve to be loved.”
Cass pulled into the garage by the international arrivals terminal, cutting the gas and checking the time. “The flight was supposed to land at one, so they should be getting out of passport control by the time we get inside.” It was a little after one thirty, but if there was anything Cass knew, it was just how long customs could take at an airport as big as JFK. Even in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, and even though her grandparents were travelling on their American passports and could use the citizen’s line, she had heard that it could take upwards of an hour or two to get through. 
The concourse was pretty bare apart from a few kiosks selling “I ❤️ NY” shirts and a surprisingly busy Noah’s Bagels, so Mat and Cass made themselves comfortable on one of the rows of plastic chairs lining the room. The arrivals screen had marked their flight from Mexico City as having landed nearly an hour prior, so it was little surprise when Cass popped up from the chair, straightening her shirt and walking over to a couple that he could only assume were her grandparents. Mat quickly followed, catching up to her just as she threw her arms around her grandma. “Abuela, te extrañé,” she said, the sound muffled by Dolores’ scarf. She pulled back, kissing her grandpa on the cheek before stepping over to Mat, one hand placed reassuringly on his back. “Abuela, abuelo, this is Mat, my boyfriend.”
Mat stuck his hand out, shaking theirs. “Mr. and Mrs. Cabrera, it’s so amazing to finally meet you. Cass speaks so highly of you, and she always talks about her summers in Hermosillo.” 
Dolores pulled Mat in, embracing him from the start just as Cass had expected. “Mat, it’s wonderful to finally meet you. Cassidy has told us so much about you, it’s clear she loves you a great deal.”
Mat ducked his head and blushed. “I’m not sure if she can love me more than I love her, but I’m happy to be in such good company.” 
He took both of their suitcases as Cass gestured to the sliding doors. “I want to get back to the car before they charge me for another half hour,” she said. 
Mat slid the bags in the trunk of the car as Dolores got in the passenger’s seat. With a gulp, Mat realized that meant he had to sit next to Roberto. He had been perfectly nice on the walk over, but as Cass had warned him, it was clear that he was a little guarded. Whether that was just his personality or whether Mat had yet to earn his trust hadn’t been determined. 
Her grandparents had been to New York once or twice before, but it had almost always been just to fly in before driving up to visit Cass’ family in Connecticut; they had never really been able to see the city. Cass  felt strongly that that had to change, so she had arranged for a mini-tour of Manhattan before they got dropped off at their hotel for the night. “So, Mat,” Dolores said, turning around in her chair, “Cassidy tells us you’re a hockey player? That must be so exciting, how long have you been playing?”
Mat nodded. “Yes ma’am. I play for the Islanders, so we’re right here in Brooklyn, but I live over in Manhattan. I’ve been playing the sport since I was four or so? Really little. But I just finished my fourth season on the Islanders. And it is exciting, I love being with my team and being on the ice, it’s one of the best feelings in the world.” 
“That must keep you busy, though?” Roberto asked gruffly. 
Mat froze. He couldn’t lie and say that he was home all the time, able to be there for Cass as often as he’d like to, because he wasn’t. But if he let on just how often he was gone, would that make him even more wary? “Oftentimes, yes,” Mat began slowly. “The team’s usually on two or so road trips a month, they’re usually about a week long. But they’re balanced out with plenty of home games, and there’s lots of guys who balance the job with a family and other responsibilities. I’m always excited to be able to be back in New York, I love it here. And to be with Cass.” Roberto nodded, not seemingly totally satisfied but content enough to not push the issue further. 
“He’s really good about spending time with me, abuelo, even though we’ve both got busy schedules,” Cass added, catching Roberto’s eye in the rearview mirror. “We meet in the morning before a class to get coffee, or lunch in between studying if I’ve got time. I go to every game I’m able to when he’s playing here in the city, or over in Jersey. We spend plenty of time together, he doesn’t blow me off. You don’t have to worry.” He seemed much more at ease with his granddaughter’s response. 
It was a whirlwind three hours around New York, Cass playing chauffeur as they went to the top of the Empire State Building — her pick — in St. Patrick’s Cathedral  — her grandpa’s pick — and around Central Park, stopping at one of the many pretzel carts for a snack. They dropped them off at the hotel, Cass’ eyes getting misty as her grandma pulled out the serape stole from her purse. Her fingers danced over the colors, the stripes of red and blue and pink and green, and knowing that it was made by the hands of someone so important to her made it all the more beautiful. The rest of her family was driving in later that night, after Nick got out of school, so everyone wouldn’t be together until the graduation ceremony the next day. 
The couple decided to get takeout on the way back to Mat’s apartment, Mat jumping out of the car to run in and pick up the order while Cass circled the block until he was out. As they sat on the couch, cuddled into each other as they broke into the boxes of Chinese food, Cass thought absentmindedly that Mat handled his chopsticks way better than she ever would have given him credit for. Her grandparents had been on her mind. More specifically, her grandparents and Mat had been on her mind. It wasn’t that she thought he had messed up in any way — she was positive he’d absolutely won over her grandma and her grandpa was slowly but surely coming around — but some lingering concerns about what they might think about their relationship. “I’m not sure that they’d actually care, but when you talk to them tomorrow maybe don’t mention how often I sleep over here? They’re wonderful people, but they’re a little old school about this stuff.” 
“This stuff?” Mat asked curiously. 
“Living together, sex before marriage, that kind of stuff.” 
“And how do you feel about it?” 
Cass raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you think you could ever get me to do something I didn’t want to do? I’m way too stubborn for that.” Mat threw his head back, laughing. “But seriously. I don’t make the decision lightly, because commitment and intimacy in that way is something really big and important to me. You already knew that I don’t do hookups, it’s just not my thing. But I can see this, us, going places. I want us to go places. And I’ve never been very good at listening to people when I don’t want to. So I’ve made my peace that my choices might not be ones everyone would be thrilled with, but it doesn’t really matter to me as long as I have you.” 
Mat nodded, putting down his food to card one hand through her curls. “I get that, I do. Obviously that’s not so much the attitude with a lot of the boys, but your principles are part of what makes you who you are, and I love who you are. Every part of you.” Cass smiled against his neck, leaning down and kissing him on the shoulder. “I want us to go places too, I hope you know that.”
“Glad to hear.”
They ate without speaking for a few more minutes until Mat broke the silence. “Where do you see yourself in five years?” 
“With you,” Cass answered honestly. “Here, or we could get a nice brownstone over in Brooklyn.” 
“Somewhere with a yard,” Mat mused. 
“Yeah, a yard would be nice,” Cass agreed. “I’d like to get a dog, I’ve always grown up with dogs and it would be nice to have someone to keep me company when you’re gone.” Her family’s two dogs, Patches and Scout, were back at the house in Connecticut, and on more than one occasion, Cass had made the two-hour drive up just to see them. She paused, glancing down at her hands. “In five years? You’d better have put a ring on my finger by then, Mat. I’ll be almost thirty. Approaching old maid status” 
Mat laughed, an easy, breathy sort of laugh that somehow erased all of the tension in the room. “I think you should double-hyphen.” 
Cass looked at him doubtfully. “Cabrera-Shaw-Barzal? Yeah, I’m going to have to pass on that one.” 
He shrugged, the corner of his lip pulled up in a half-smile. “Just saying. It’s got a ring to it.”
“Have you given much thought to what you’d want to do with your name when you get married?” Mat asked curiously. It really didn’t matter much to him, since it would ultimately be Cass’ decision, but he didn’t want to assume anything regardless. And it didn’t escape Cass that he said when, as if it was certain, as if it was a given. The surety made her heart flutter. 
Cass shook her head. “Not particularly. On one hand, I do like the idea of the whole family having the same name. It seems nice. Unified. But I don’t want to feel like I’m erasing my culture and who I am just because I’m getting married. And all due respect, chou,” Cass poked Mat’s cheek, “but Cabrera Shaw’s the name on my degrees. Cassidy Barzal didn’t go to law school.”
“Very fair,” Mat said with a chuckle. 
Cass took a deep breath. If it seemed like they were having the “future talk,” she figured it was best to go all in. “Do you want kids?” she asked, tentatively, hesitantly. It was obvious that Mat was good with kids, she’d seen as much, but being good with kids and wanting children of your own were two very different things. Cass had wanted to be a mom since she knew what a mom was, and even though they probably should have brought up the topic earlier, she wasn’t sure what she’d do if he said no. Thank God, she never had to find out. 
“Definitely,” Mat said, nodding. “Not now, obviously, we’re young and haven’t really settled down yet. If you got pregnant we’d make it work, but I don’t think either of us is looking to be parents right away. But in a couple years, once we’re married and have a proper house with space...Yeah, I’d like to have kids.” He looked over at Cass. “What about you?”
“Always wanted kids,” Cass responded fondly. “I loved growing up with siblings, and I know my parents were the same way. Two or three, I think. I’ve thought about adoption too, but obviously that’s way in the future.”
Mat kissed the top of her head. “We’ve got time.”
 May 22 (sat)
 The graduation ceremony itself wasn’t until noon, so Cass had more than enough time to get ready after waking up at 7. Alicia barrelled into her room at exactly 7:22, throwing a shirt at her and telling her to get dressed. Cass stumbled out of the room ten minutes later, pulling on socks and grabbing her phone from the charger by her door. “What are you guys trying to pull?” she asked, yawning and trying to wipe the sleep out of her eyes. 
“Uh, we’re going to the diner, duh,” Stella said with a smile, tossing Cass her purse. “Come on! You know it fills up early on weekends.” Glen’s Diner had become an apartment staple over the past few years, the restaurant having been the first place the four of them had eaten in the city when they moved, not having bought groceries yet and not wanting to pay the premium for delivery. It was cheap, open 24/7, and Cass would swear up and down that their blueberry pancakes were the best she’d ever had. 
They were seated just after 8, happily slurping coffee and stealing bites of each other’s breakfast twenty minutes later. It was a nice day and hadn’t gotten too hot yet, so they decided to walk back after finishing the meal. In reality, “going back” meant Alicia stopping to buy a new necklace, listening to a busker for a few minutes, and petting no fewer than five dogs on the one-mile walk. There was still plenty of time before they had to leave for the ceremony, but after Cass did her makeup and tamed her curls, there was just enough time to watch an episode of Parks & Rec before having to actually get her stuff together. Not as flexible as she once had been, Ryanne helped zip up the back of her dress, a white lace bodycon from her sorority days that she had definitely worn to at least two semiformals. Hey, Cass thought as she straightened her hemline, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 
She had ironed her robe and put it into a dress bag the night before, and gently folded her school stole and the serape from her abuela into her purse. Mat’s necklace hadn’t left its place since Valentine’s. Her dad’s parents had given her a beautiful pair of pearl studs for her undergraduate graduation, and it felt only right to wear them for her next step. She fastened the ankle straps on her heels, and popped her head out to the living room. “Everyone ready?” She was met with a chorus of “yeses,” and grabbed her keys from their dish by the front door. 
“Let’s go get our girl graduated!” Alicia hollered into the street. 
The girls had originally objected to Cass driving herself to her own graduation, but relented as soon as Cass reminded them that she was the only one who knew where to find the free parking, and the rest of them only drove sedans. “Cheryl has way more room. Y’all want to be cramped on purpose?” 
“Fair point,” Stella had said begrudgingly. 
Exactly twenty-six minutes later, Cass pulled into a spot about two blocks away from the arena where she would be graduating in an hour’s time, hugging each of her friends as Ryanne handed her the dress bag. “You’re going to kill it in there,” she said, rubbing her back. 
Cass laughed. “Ry, all I’ve got to do is walk across a stage without tripping.”
She shrugged. “It’s a fine art that few have mastered.” 
Cass entered through the side, flashing her ID to the security guard standing by the door. Half an hour later, everyone had been ushered into their seats, carefully arranged in alphabetical order. For the most part, Cass was friendly with everyone in her class; if they weren’t outwardly hostile to her, she saw no reason why they deserved anything other than kindness, but was relieved to see Robin sitting next to her. “You excited?” Robin asked, brushing a piece of her auburn hair behind her ear. The lobby doors must have opened, because as she asked, crowds started to mill into the seats, waving at anyone who would catch their eye. 
Cass bounced her head. “I am, but it’s kind of surreal, you know? I knew we’d get to this point, obviously. It’s what we’ve been working towards for seven years, really. But the idea that it all essentially comes down to this…”
“An hour, a few handshakes, and a piece of paper,” Robin helpfully supplied. 
She nodded. “Yeah. It’s almost anticlimactic in a way? Like sure, we’ve got our JDs after this, but knowing we’ve still got to pass the bar. We’re not over the finish line yet.”
“Columbia has a 97% pass rate, and you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, Cass. And I’ve spent three years surrounded by the smartest people I’ve ever met.”
“Fair,” Cass said, “it’s just kind of a weird feeling, you know?” Robin nodded. “And plus, for most of us, we’ve pretty much spent our whole lives in school. Aside from positions as summer associates, or part-time jobs and internships, we don’t really know how to do anything other than school. It’s just a little bit of a daunting thought to suddenly feel like we’re being thrown out to the wolves without really knowing what to expect.” Cass’ phone, which she wasn’t technically supposed to have but had snuck in anyways, chose that moment to buzz with a text notification. It was from Mat.
Met up with the crew! Can’t wait to see you walk across that stage, Cass. I love you and we’re all so proud of you. Mat had attached a photo of everyone she had brought with her — both sets of grandparents, her parents and siblings, and roommates. 
“Your boyfriend is nauseatingly cute,” Robin observed, looking over her shoulder at the message. 
Cass laughed. “That’s true, but I knew what I was getting myself into.” The music started ten minutes later, and the ceremony began. If Cass was being honest, she didn’t really remember much of anything from the first half of the ceremony, before the conferral of diplomas. She was so excited and nervous and unbelievably ready all at the same time that all she recalled from the dean’s speech and the student speeches were vague comments about their “awesome responsibility” and “duty to pursue truth and justice” and “commitment to fight for what is right over what is easy.” 
As soon as she realized it, her row was being ushered into line to receive their diplomas. “Cassidy María Cabrera Shaw.” She heard her name, but really had no clue who had spoken it. The dean? One of her professors? As Cass walked up the steps and across the stage, the only thing she could think was don’t trip don’t trip don’t trip. Then she was handed a diploma, flashed a brilliant smile for the photographer, and shook hand after hand after hand before walking off the other side of the stage. She was pretty sure she could hear Mat and Noah yelling their congratulations from her seat on the floor. 
Having a name towards the front of the alphabet meant that Cass was almost always called on quickly in class, or on roll call, or at graduation, as the case was. But that meant that she had to sit, quietly and politely, for the other four hundred names to be called. And it took awhile. After Robin Cahill came Wesley Coleman, then Samuel Cogswell, then Fiona Chan. Cass didn’t mind having to sit through the whole thing, especially when Fiona, Les, Samaira, and her other friends crossed the stage — she cheered as much as anybody — but it was a long time to be sitting in a folding chair and the thousands of people packed into a small space didn’t help her temperature regulation. 
There was the benediction and congratulations, and then the recessional of the graduates. Graduates, Cass thought. She was a graduate. She had finished, she was done, she had accomplished the one thing she wanted most to do since she was a little girl watching Legally Blonde for the first time, looking at Elle Woods and thinking I can do that. And she had. Her feet carried her to the back room of their own accord, where she picked up her bag and was engulfed in a flurry of hugs, congratulations, and kisses on the cheek from her friends, the people who she had spent countless late nights in the library with, bar hopping to celebrate the end of finals, and afternoons on each other’s apartment couches, yelling fact patterns at each other and trying to come up with an analysis before the timer went off.  
Following the stream of sky blue graduation gowns, Cass walked outside, waving at her family when she spotted Eliana hanging off of a lamppost in the courtyard to get a better view. Her sister nearly tackled her as she made her way to the group. “Cass. I already knew you were brilliant, and I still think  you’re the smartest out of any of us,” she gestured between the two of them and Noah, “but now you’ve got the degree to prove it. I’m so proud of you.” 
Noah was next. “You worked hard, and I know how badly you wanted this. You’re a really good sister.” He wasn’t usually a big talker, and Cass’ eyes definitely got a little misty as he spoke. He had verbally committed to Minnesota State the week before, and Mat might have been more excited than even Cass when he heard the news. It was an incredible program that had a serious track record of sending players to the NHL, and she was so proud to see her little brother doing what he loved. Her mom and both grandmas were crying, as expected, and Grandpa Joe wrapped her up in a hug as soon as he got the chance. 
Mat had been hanging towards the back of the crowd, not wanting to feel like he was intruding on family time, until her dad nudged him forward. “Go say hi to your girl, Mat,” Patrick said.
“Will do,” Mat said, squeezing Cass’ hand and pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Sometimes it blows my mind how incredible you are,” he said. “Everyone’s already said how smart you are, and every bit of that is true. But you’re so much more than that, you know?” His thumb rubbed over her hand. “You’re beautiful, and curious, and you always keep me on my toes. You’re so passionate about your work, and you’ve got the biggest heart out of anyone I know. You’ve never met a person you didn’t want to help. And I promise I’m not biased just because I’m in love with you.” 
Cass gave a watery laugh, blinking and thanking God she had the foresight to wear waterproof mascara. “God, I love you, Mat.”
Her dad had always been the picture type, insisting on documenting every waking moment. He was the living embodiment of “pics or it didn’t happen,” for better or worse. He took a few of her with her law school friends, then Alicia snapped one with just her immediate family, then there was one with everyone. Cass also got a picture with Mat, where he was bending down to kiss her, the tassel on her mortarboard just barely brushing his nose. Then she was in one with all of the seniors on the law review, and a friend pulled her away for a few with the Latinx Student Association. By the time they finally managed to tear Patrick away from his camera, it was time to head back to the hotel and get ready for dinner. 
Mat got Patrick to send him the photo of him and Cass, and was about to post it on Instagram when he hesitated. “Hey, is it cool if I post this?” Mat said, showing Cass his phone. Most people knew who she was, and he had posted pictures of her before, but they had never been this obvious, this clear, this real. 
“Go for it.”
Mat pressed post. So, so proud of my incredible girlfriend @casscshaw for graduating law school. You’re one of the smartest, most empathetic people I know, and you’re going to make an amazing lawyer. 
Cass grinned, a big, genuine smile as she was surrounded by her family, the people who meant the most to her — whether they were related or not. She looked up at Mat, who was smiling softly down at her as he reached one hand up to fix her tassel. “What’s next?”
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holycrapharry · 4 years ago
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I Love This Shirt
Harry has been moping around his apartment for days. He can’t figure out what he’s feeling. Ever since he got drunk and blurted out his true feelings for Y/N, his best friend, she hasn’t been herself. He’s been holding on to this tiny sliver of hope that she’ll somehow feel the same, but he knows that’s wrong. He knows that he shouldn’t hold it against her, so he doesn’t; not for very long anyway. Harry decides to let it go, to try to convince her he was a little too drunk to know what he was talking about. Holding his phone in his hand, he hovers his thumb over her name for a few seconds before pressing the screen.
“Hello?” Her voice is soft and nervous, and he knows it’s because of him.
“Hi. It’s –um, it’s me.” Harry walks back and forth in his kitchen, wondering why he thought this was a good idea.
“I know it’s you, H.” There’s a small moment of silence before he speaks again. He didn’t exactly think this through, did he? He suddenly feels warm and a little sweaty.
more
“I just wanted to…I wanted to see how you were. S’been a couple days.” This had been the first time they’ve spoken since he confessed his drunk love to her. He can barely remember it but knows Y/N put him to bed and left the apartment.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Do you need anything? You ok?” Her tone still sounds off, but she could never not wonder about him, about his well-being.
“No, no. I’m ok. I just wanted to like, talk.  We never go days without talking.” He wants to tell her that he misses her. He wants her to come over and watch movies; he wants her to make them hot chocolate; he wants her to fall asleep on his shoulder. Harry wants Y/N.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been kind of busy. Do you, uh…” She hesitates like she might regret her offer but continues, “You wanna do something?” Harry would shovel poop at cattle ranch all day if it meant he could see her.
“Oh, sure. What did you have in mind?” His heart skips a beat and he holds his breath.
“Gerald’s is having a two for deal. Get a sammy, get the other free.” Okay, dinner. Harry can do dinner.
“Ok. Do you want to meet or do you want me to come get you?” He’s not sure why he asked, Gerald’s is barely two blocks from her house.
“No, I’ll meet you. Could use the walk, I like it how it feels outside right now.” Y/N always enjoyed the cool weather. One of her favorite things was being able to wear jackets and hoodies, being snuggled up like a cute little bunny, which was one of Harry’s favorite thing.
“Well, I’ll see you shortly then.” Harry rushes to his bathroom, to make sure he has no food in his teeth and does the ever so attractive pit stiff test. He wears the shirt she likes, the one with the little dots on it. It’s old and worn, ‘so soft and perfect for hugs’, as she says.
Harry arrives and searches for Y/N. She’s sat in a little corner booth and as he heads towards her he notices two empty glasses and a basket of paper that once held some fries. “Hey,” she looks up at him and smiles, shooting out of the booth and into his arms. “I’m glad you’re here. I missed you so much.”
Harry is a bit confused. No way would two glasses of beer make her like this. “You like this over two drinks? Didn’t even leave me any fries.”
“Oh no, these were my chasers. Had four shots.” Y/N giggles and Harry lets out a sigh. No wonder she’s sloshed. “You look sexy, H. Like when you hair gets in your face. And you’re wearing my favorite shirt.” She hiccups and smiles.
Harry has gone red and isn’t sure what to say, he thought she wanted to talk. Not get shit faced. “Why’d you get drunk if you knew I was coming to see you?”
“I was [hiccup] nervous. I thought you were mad at me for leaving the other night.” Harry can’t imagine why she should be the nervous one.
“I’m not mad, love. Thought you were mad at me.” He has to admit he’s relieved that she isn’t upset with him, or angry at least.
“You’re too perfect to be mad…” she makes a face like she was set on fire and runs to the bathroom. With barely making it, Y/N loses her fries. As she leaves the ladies room she sees Harry waiting on her and leans into him, begging him to take her home. When they arrive at hers, she sighs in annoyance. “No, I wanna go home with you.”
“You live closer, you’ll feel better here.” He helps her to the door and on to the couch. “You don’t like to get this drunk, you’re going to be livid in the morning.”
“I feel fine. ’m horny and want onion rings.” She’s lazily sitting on the couch with her arms outreached to Harry. “Come here, come sit.”
When Harry obliges, he faces her ready to ask if she needs anything but another question is comes out, “Why’d you have to drink tonight?”
Y/N snaps back with, “Why did you have to tell me that you loved me?” There’s an awkward silence before she begins another drunken statement, “Wanna know why I left the night you told me you [hiccup] loved me? I wanted to tell you I loved you too. I, um, I, help me get my shoe off, I can’t get it off.” Harry bends down, unzipping the little boot. His hands are shaking and he wants her to mean it, he wants this to be real and not something she regrets. “You looked so good and your hair was soft. I wanted to touch it,” she reaches out and runs her hand through his hair, “oh, it’s still soft.“ Harry involuntarily leans his head into her hand and gazes at her but goes back to taking off her too-complicated-even-for-a-sober-person boots. Y/N lowers her voice like she’s trying to whisper, “You kn[hiccup]ow, I think about pulling it when I think about you doing down on me.” Harry’s eyes snap to hers and his mouth hangs open.
“What? Jesus, Y/N, shh. I need to help you get into bed.” He tries to get the image out of his head, but he can’t. The image of being between her sweet thighs stays with him.
“No. Don’t shh me. I love you and I want to fuck you. That’s um, that’s like making love, yeah? We love. Let’s do it. Come here. Come fuck me.” She grabs his face and Harry is completely overwhelmed, and wonders if he said anything like this when he was drunk.
“No, baby. Not like this.” He removes her hands from his face and holds them softly. “You’re gonna hate yourself tomorrow and hate me more.”
“Never hated you. I’ll never hate you. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I want to show you, let me show you.” She still manages to look so cute to him, with her smudged makeup and whiny voice.
“Y/N, please.  We can talk about this later, ok?  I promise we’ll talk about it.” Her pout deepens and she gets up, throwing her sweater over her head and somewhere around her sitting room.
“I’m goin’ upstairs. I’m gonna be naked and all…all fuckable [hiccup].” Harry follows her upstairs to make sure she doesn’t fall or hurt herself or something clumsy. He finds her on her bed pants half way off and crying.
“Y/N, what? Why are you crying?” He suddenly becomes very worried and is about to get her a trash can because she’s surely due to vomit again crying like that.
“I can’t get my jeans off!” She’s full on sobbing over denim and Harry can’t help but laugh. “It’s, it’s not fun-ny. I’m trapped.” Her legs wiggle and she falls back on her bed, continuing to wiggle them in the air.
“Y/N, stop kicking. Calm down, I’ll get them off. Hold on.” Harry gently grabs her legs, peeling off the tight material. “There, you’re free.” She sits up in her bed and slowly covers herself with her blanket. “What? Suddenly so shy?”
“H, you saw my undies.” Her face is suddenly a lot more tired looking rather than drunk.
“Wouldn’t be the first time, love.” She pulls her duvet closer and closer and Harry sits down on the bed. “You want me to leave? I can come back in the morning to check on you.” Y/N slightly shakes her head and sinks into her bed.
“Will you stay, lay here with me?” His heart turns into a bunch of little bubbles as he examines the look on her face. She’s sad. He knows it. She’ll remember this tomorrow and not know what to make of it. He scoots his way to the head of the bed and throws his shoes off the side. “Hold me, please. Just til I fall asleep.” She was always a needy drunk, but this was different. Y/N needed Harry there to reassure her that he was okay, that he himself wasn’t angry or embarrassed by the situation. He gets close to her, swinging his arm around.
“I’m gonna be right here.” Harry stays the whole night, rubbing her arm every time she stirs. He isn’t sure when he falls asleep but when he wakes it feels as if it’s only been a few minutes. Y/N is still sleeping beside him, all cuddled up in her blankets. She was always one of those people who could drink her weight and be fine the next day, something Harry envied, but he slowly leaves the bed with an idea and tugs on his boots. He tips toes around her bedroom making sure not to wake her, carefully down the stairs and out the door. There was a nice coffee shop close by as well as pharmacy, he’ll pick her up some coffee and Advil; maybe even some flowers.
When Harry reaches the coffee shop, flowers in hand, the tiny woman behind the counter shakes her head and laughs, “I remember when my husband used to go out and buy me fresh bagels when I got a bit too wild the night before. Your girl is right lucky, she gets the flowers and the bagels.”
This makes his heart swell and his lips twitch into a smile. “No, ma'am. I’m just lucky enough I have her to give flowers to.” As he leaves the shop, Harry feels reborn. He feels more in love than he ever has and can’t wait to get back to her, to take care of her. It doesn’t matter that to him that they both found out in drunken ways, well he does wish that they both went about it differently but, Harry is in love and so is Y/N.
He returns to her home quietly, making sure that the door doesn’t slam and his feet don’t boom up the steps. Her door is slightly ajar, letting him know that she’s woken up and probably gone to the bathroom or kitchen; he hopes to god she didn’t make coffee or tea. When he opens her door he finds her propped up on pillows and tightly wrapped in a quilt with only her arm poking out so she can control the TV remote. She catches him out of the corner of her eye, jumping slightly, and belts out, “Don’t sneak up on me! I thought you left, why- um, why’d you come back?”
Harry walks to her, flowers first. Her tired eyes widen in surprise and soften when she notices the coffee. “I thought I could make your morning a little easier. They didn’t have lilies, only yellow roses, but I did get you Advil and bagels if you need to eat although you seem fine…” If she doesn’t speak soon he’s sure to talk forever.
“H, I’m ok. I don’t feel sick or anything and thank you.” She unwraps the quilt from her upper body and takes a coffee from him,”Mmm, this smells so good. What’d you get?” Y/N was always a food or drink stealer, she had to take a sip or bite of whatever he had.
“I got the same cause I knew you’d wanna sip at mine.” Her brows knit together, but she’s silent because she knows it’s true. “I see you’re feeling…better?” Y/N clears her throat and nods her head as she turns his attention to the TV. “Don’t pretend what you said didn’t happen. You ignoring it, you hate this show.” He takes her coffee from her hand and sits it on her night table, “You love me, yes or no?” Her eyes fall to her hands as she mumbles her little answer.
“Yes. I love you.” Harry moves beside her, covering them in her fluffy blankets as he cuddles her.
“Good. I love you, too.” She’s slightly taken aback by his cool demeanor as if nothing had changed as if it wasn’t new that they loved each other in that way. But another part of her was just as accepting. Why should it be awkward?
“I love this shirt.” Y/N places her hand on his chest, feeling the cross underneath the fabric. “It’s always so soft. I bet it’s nice to sleep in, you sleep in it last night?” Harry grabs her hand, leaving it on his chest.
“Yeah but I mean, I think that was the first time I slept in all my clothes in forever.” Y/N mind quickly turns to the image of harry sleeping naked beside her. She’s seen him naked before, but not naked-naked, not intimate naked. Her hand absentmindedly travels down to his torso and feels his muscles.
“Love, if you’re gonna tickle me I must warn you; I am much stronger and much more awake at the moment than you are.” Her hand keep rubbing his belly and then bravely goes under it. His skin is warm and smooth with soft hair just under her fingertips.
“I won’t tickle. I’m just feeling you. I can do that now, right?” Harry looks at her and his mouth actually starts to water. Her beautiful doe eyes and pouty lips could sway him into doing anything she wanted.
“You can do whatever you want.” Her hand lifts his shirt higher and higher and Harry’s heart begins to pound. He becomes quite nervous and she’s sure to notice.
“Whatever I want?” Y/N lowers her head to his belly and gives him a few small kisses right in between his laurel tattoo before blowing a loud raspberry.
“Jesus Christ! Why!” Her wild laughter causes harry join in, holding her tighter so she can’t wiggle away from him. “If it’s going to be like then prepare for the worst, most hated, stubble chin!” His chin goes straight for her neck and Y/N squeals.
“Harry! No! I won’t do it anymore!” He lets up and his face is now close to hers, just inches away from one another.
“I forgot to tell you good morning.” He kisses her cheek and repeats, “Good morning, my love.” He kisses her forehead, “Good morning, sweetheart.” And finally, his lips land on hers. He kisses her softly but passionately before letting go, “Good morning, baby.” Y/N’s hands wrap around Harry’s neck to pull him closer.
“Good morning, H.” The pair shares another kiss, this one being heavier and harder. This is a new feeling but somehow the best feeling. Both Harry and Y/N have one thing on their mind and it definitely doesn’t involve getting out of bed.
Harry starts by kissing her neck softly, then nibbling her ear. “You know, this can one or two ways baby.” Y/n lets out a little moan before giving him a response.
“What do you mean?” She’s beginning to breathe heavily and his little kisses are giving her goosebumps.
“I could kiss you like this all day,” he pauses to look her in the eyes, “or I could make you come so hard you won’t be able to think.” Y/n opens her mouth, but no words come out. Her thighs involuntarily press together, which Harry catches out of the corner of his eye. “I think I have my answer,” He asks her to take her top off with a very polite, please. He brushes her hair off of her shoulders and caresses her cheek. “Thank you. Now, can you take these off for me?” He tugs at her underwear with one finger and watches her wiggle herself out of them. Y/n is now completely naked for him, waiting for his next move. Her head is resting on his arm and his stomach is pressed flush against her side.
His fingers ghost over her skin from the base of her throat to the bottom of her navel, making the tiny hairs rise. He finally presses a finger to her skin and she quivers, “Oh.”
“Like my hands?” She nods. He drags that finger down until he feels how wet she is, stopping to tease her. “I love your pussy. You know that? Been thinking about it for months, having dreams about how you’ll feel on my face,” he then starts to play with her clit and brings his mouth to her neck, “wet and so sensitive. I’ve been thinking about how good you must taste. A sweet little thing like you, y/n. Bet it’s just like sugar, yeah?” With that, Harry brings his finger to his mouth and licks it clean. “Even better than that, baby.”
He knows how to tease and y/n never knew he was so capable. She knew he was good with girls, but she assumed it was his charm. He has a way with his words and his fingers, she can’t comprehend what other parts of him can do. Harry’s only been teasing her and she’s already a moaning mess for him, moving her hips and wiggling in his arm. She needs more from him and she’s going to take it. She places her hand on his, pushing it down so his fingers sink into her. “No more teasing.” Her voice cracks and Harry smirks.
“I could make it so much worse, y/n. I could make you beg for me,” he curves his fingers just right so that she gasps and yelps for him, “make you do that over and over again and not let you come.” He’s so smug. “But I won’t, not today.”
Y/n’s eyes begin to water due to his hand movements. His fingers bend back and forth at a fast rate causing her to moan. “Oh my god. Yeah, right there. Right there.” Harry’s nose is now pressed to her cheek, eyes traveling down to his hand every once in a while.
“Oh? Right here?” He adds a little more pressure and she whimpers. “What if I were to make it even better? Would you like that? Hmm?” He doesn’t even wait for her response before falling down her body. His mouth is on her in seconds, licking and sucking like he’s trying to get high off of her.
Y/n hands are grabbing the pillow behind her and she’s crying his name, “Harry. Harry. Harry. Oh, fuck.”  She won’t be able to last long if he keeps this up. She can already feel that tightness, but she wants to fuck him. She wants to show Harry how she feels right now and how badly she’s wanted to please him. “Fuck me.”
Harry stops and looks up at her, “What?” He knew that things were going to get heated, certainly, but he wasn’t expecting to go that far or her wanting to.
“You heard me, H. Fuck me. Fuck me like you love me.” Y/n bites her lip and Harry flies to her face, kissing her softly.
“I do love you.” He begins to undress, probably breaking a record for getting naked so fast.
“Good.” She pulls him down and guides him on his back, sliding herself down on him. She wasted no time in riding him. Harry’s hand squeezes her ass and the other goes to her mouth. She sucks his thumb so eagerly that it makes a ‘pop’ every time it leaves her lips. “You feel so good.” He grins proudly and squeezes a cheek even tighter making y/n sigh from that tight burn.
“Oh, you do like my hands.” She concentrates on her movements, but they come to a halt when Harry’s hand slaps her ass.
“Fuck!” Y/n’s fingernails dig into the little birds on his skin and she bucks forward, clenching his dick inside her.
“I knew you were fuckin’ naughty. I knew it, baby.”  He spanks her once more just to feel her nails dig into his chest again. She inhales sharply, slowly building back up to her pace. “Oh, that’s it. Just like that.” Harry’s head falls back to the pillow and this time, he’s the one moan for her. His deep, throaty groans only make her want to go faster and harder for him.  Her hands roam his upper body until her two small hands gently glide up his throat causing him to shake and moan. Y/n smiles, as it seems that maybe Harry is not as dominating as she thought.
She leans her body forward, still grinding into him with a hand resting on his throat. “I think maybe,” she squeezes her hand and he bites his lip, “maybe that you’re the one who likes to get a little naughty.” Harry doesn’t speak just yet, he only smiles and spanks her the harder than before. Y/n’s eyes snap closed and her mouth is left to gape open.
“I don’t think so, love.” He pushes her chest to his face, sucking hard on her nipple. He thrusts upwards as fast as he can while holding her in place with one arm around her back. He spanks her three more times, soothing it by rubbing his palm across her cheek each time. “Mmm, I love you like this. I love you.”
It’s difficult for Y/n to speak with all of the moans stuck in her throat. Her fingers run through Harry’s hair and when he hits that spot inside her, she tugs at it. He doesn’t mind, he actually loves it. Each time she pulls it sends a hot tingle straight to his dick. “You’re gonna make me come, H.” He lets out one of his dorky chuckles and flips her on her back.
“That’s the idea.” He hikes up her leg and gives her all he has. She lets out a string of ‘fucks’ and ‘oh my gods’ and he knows that she’s coming. He can feel it. “You’re there, don’t hold back. Move your hips, I know you want to. Do what you want, come on my dick. Come for me.” She then lifts her hips and grinds herself on him so that she’s as close as she can get. Y/n lets out a cry and what sounds something like an ‘Ugh’. She comes hard and wild, just like he had hoped. She brings both of her legs up and hold on to his waist. Even though she looks relaxed, she still feels that pulsing sensation. “You need me to stop?” Harry is close, but he doesn’t want to overstay his…welcome so to speak.
“No, I want to make you feel good. I want you to feel as good as you make me feel.” For some reason, her statement gives him a chill, little tiny bumps rise all over his body and he pumps into her eagerly. He’s thrilled by the fact that she wants to be the one who makes him feel this way. Her eyes close and he’s not sure but he think she has a small smile on her face. He feels nothing but the purest form of pleasure and love right now and he can barely handle it. Y/n feels his dick twitch inside her and Harry grits his teeth. He dramatically drops on top of her, pretending to be dead and leaving Y/n to giggle.
“Oh my love, you’ve died. What will I tell the police?” She runs her fingers through his hair then pokes at his back.
“Death by pussy, I presume?” He still lies on top of her, with his chin resting on her chest. When she just looks at him he starts to giggle, making her smile.
“Harry get off of me, you geek.” He pretends to be hurt, but his still smiling so she pokes his dimple. He leans his head into her finger then pretends to bite it. “See, total geek.”
He gives her his best pouty expression, “But you love this geek?”
“Yes, I love this geek.” Harry scoots up to her lips and kisses her, telling her that he loves her for what seems like the millionth time.
Accompanied blurb
Harry watched Y/N water the flowers on their balcony. The fabric of her dress is thin but flowy, allowing him to see the curves of her body as she moves. There was something about dresses like this that just kind of…got him going. The color was also very desirable to him, a dark blue that looked black in certain light.
When the plants are watered she leans against the railing to feel a soft breeze. The loose hairs dance around her face and she moans, making Harry almost jump out of his seat. His body presses against hers from behind. His hands sliding from her waist down her thighs to collect the material, bunching it up in his hands and pulling upwards. With his mouth pressed to her ear, he states, “I love this dress.”
His hands continue pulling the gathered fabric up her thigh until she places a hand on one of his fists, “If you like so much then why are you trying to take it off of me.”
She can feel him smirk on her ear and the front of the dress drops only to have to back aggressively pushed up to her hips. His fingers toy with the hem of her underwear and he pulls them down her thighs, “Your dress wasn’t what I was trying to take off, love.” Her hands grip the railing as he dips his middle finger into her. He chuckles, “See that couple down there eating dinner. What if they saw us? What if they knew that I’m playing with your pussy.”
Her eyes find the couple. They sip on their drinks and talk over their food. Y/N leans forward, allowing him greater access. The threat of being seen and the sensation of his fingers moving  back and forth between her pussy and clit make her feel like she could float away. Her heart skips a beat when she hears the click of his belt. “Oh, my god.” Her voice is low but she becomes muffled by Harrys fingers sliding into her mouth. She feels him enter her and her legs spread wider, letting him move deeper.
“How do you taste?” He smiles widely knowing that she can’t answer. He looks up to move his hair out of his face but is greeted with an unexpected audience, a young woman across the way is watching them and Harry leans back down, directing Y/N’s jaw toward her. “Look at her, who do you think she wants to be right now? Me or you?” The woman looks completely horrified and closes her curtains. “Aw, such a shame. She could’ve seen you come for me, missing quite the show.”
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moonstruckholland · 5 years ago
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FaceTime and French Fries (p.p)
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Pairing: Best Friend Peter Parker x Reader
Word Count: 1116
Warnings: Maybe one curse word? Cute best friend fluff? Probably some typos
A/N: This was inspired by my best friend who likes to facetime me when he goes to the store at freaking 1 am for snacks and it gives me so much anxiety. Also, this is strictly platonic, which is a first for me, so if this sucks extra, I'm sorry 😅 I hope y'all like it! If you do, I would definitely appreciate any and all feedback 💕
It was almost midnight when your phone started ringing, a facetime notification with Peter's face immediately illuminating the screen. You answered, expecting to see your best friend and instead saw a grainy dark image.
"Peter?"
You didn't really hear much at first, just the sounds of the city and wind before Spider-Man's mask popped up on the other end and your ears were filled with Peter's voice.
"Hey, y/n!"
You gave him your best disappointed mom look, "Are you swinging right now?"
"Maybe."
"Peter! You know not to facetime and swing!"
"What? I really wanted you to keep me company while I go to McDonald's."
"McDonald's is literally two blocks away from your apartment, why didn't you just walk?"
"I mean, I was already out patrolling, I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone."
You refrained from rolling your eyes, you knew he'd use any excuse to go swinging around the city. "Please tell me you're being careful, at least."
"Of course I am." Even with the mask on, you could just tell he wasn't being completely honest, and it didn't exactly help your suspicions when two seconds later you heard a loud "oof," and the screen went completely dark Peter's end.
"Pete? Are you okay?"
Your heart was thumping loudly, your heart beat getting quicker and quicker each second he didn't respond.
"Peter Parker if you don't answer me right now I will find you and kick your ass if you're not already hurt."
Lucky for you and Peter, you saw the phone being slowly lifted, probably by one of his webs, and eventually you saw his mask covered face once again. You let out a breath of relief you hadn't realized you'd been holding before quickly chastising your friend.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, I almost hit a street lamp by accident, so I swerved and my arm did this thing and somehow my phone flew out of my hand..."
You let him ramble, half listening, half admiring the dumb boy you were lucky enough to call your best friend. You never meant to nag him, but despite Peter being the smartest person you know, he always found himself getting into trouble in the stupidest ways. You almost had no choice but to be the responsible one in your friendship.
“I’m glad you’re okay, but you’re officially banned from using your phone and swinging forever.”
You could almost see the mischievous smile you knew was on his face, “Whatever you say, mom.”
Thankfully, he pulled him to the mcdonald’s not too long after that. You listened to him order food, which honestly seemed like a lot, but you've seen Peter eat a ton more and some of it was probably for May, so you didn't question it.
"So, how was patrolling tonight?" You asked while he waited for his food.
“Oh, you know, the usual.”
You knew what that meant, “Did someone almost kill you tonight?”
“More like they tried,” he paused, swinging to a secure spot on top of the restaurant to take off his mask, “It was actually really cool.”
“Only you would think-” you cut yourself off, “Wait, I’m wrong. Only you and Ned would think almost dying is cool.”
“I wasn’t even close to death, I swear! There were these guys trying to rob the jewelry store down the street. You know the one by the deli with the really good bagels?”
He barely waited for you nod before he continued, “Well, one of them broke the glass and triggered the security alarm, they weren’t very smart.”
He looked so done, literally facepalming as he described the robbers, making you laugh, “I swooped in all cool and suave a second later and y/n, I kid you not, they literally started freaking out. The guy who broke the glass started crying. The other guy tried coming at me with a knife.”
“Okay," you interjected for a moment, "I’m not going to panic at the thought of some dumbass coming at you with a knife. But of all the things he could've brought, why did he bring a knife?"
He rolled his eyes thinking about it, “That’s what I thought! It barely took me five minutes to disarm him and web them both before the police came."
Peter moved on to a story that involved a little old lady, a drunk Elmo, and a slice of pepperoni pizza. It was somehow even more eventful than the robbers story. You were shocked and full of questions by the end of it, but his food was ready and while you wanted, needed, to discuss the topic further, you weren’t going to let him swing and talk to you on his way back home. After a little convincing, he promised to call you when he got home.
Fifteen minutes later, you were laying in bed, watching creepy youtube videos while you waited for Peter to call, when you heard a tap on your window. You had a little moment of panic, grabbing the closest thing to a weapon you hand near you, which just happened to be an umbrella.
You hesitantly made your way to the window and slowly pulled up your shades. For a second time that night you let out a sigh of relief as you come face to face with your best friend. You opened the window, letting Peter climb into your room before you lightly smacked him.
“Don’t attack! I have food!”
“You scared the crap out of me!”
He stifled a laugh, pulling you in for a hug to apologize. You forgave him, of course. He brought you food, there was no way you could be mad.
The two of you sat on your bed, Peter handing you chicken nuggets and fries.
"Have I ever told you just how much I love you?" You asked, or more like muffled, your mouth stuffed with food.
"Yeah, yeah, don't forget to chew, you dork."
You almost laughed at the fact he was parenting you for once, instead you gently shoved him before allowing yourself to eat like a normal person.
"I have so many questions about the Grandma and drunk Elmo fiasco, but first I have some tea to tell you."
Peter raised a brow, immediately intrigued.
"Guess who applied for a job today?" You gave him a knowing look, and his eyes widened, automatically knowing who you were talking about.
"You're joking, right? There's no way Harry showed up at your job."
"He did! It was so awkward!"
"Wait. You talked to him?" Peter pulled up one of your pillows, getting more comfortable on your bed, "Forget about the old lady. Spill the tea."
Tagging: (feel free to send an ask if you wanted to be added (or don't want to be) to my taglist! Or you can also add yourself, the form is in my bio ❤️)
@fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @rachramblesstuff @ravenclawmarvel @devildisguiseasangel @spidey-waffles11 @fairytaleparker @petersmparker @parkeroffline @parkerpuffwrites @lovinnholland @tomhollandsumbrella @officiallyunofficialperson @babebenhardy @antoouu @its-the-unknownspidey @petersstarcadet @thollandx @kxrtwxgner @xxxxdelenaxxxx @smexylemony @sleepybesson @awkwardfangirl2014 @nedthegay @80sthottie @styles-balor4eva
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chibinightowl · 5 years ago
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Tuesday Nights - Chapter Two
It’s a new month on Patreon, which means there’s more Tuesday Nights to share! Here’s a peek at what you’re missing if you’re not subscribed. I love how this is turning out, I really am. A big thank you to everyone who’s supporting me in this endeavor!
https://www.patreon.com/chibinightowl
~*~
A few hours later, Skye can’t help but enter his office in a better mood than when he left it the night before. Last night...how on earth did that even happen? He’s met many handsome bartenders over the years, even before he realized he prefers men to women (so much less drama), but not one has ever turned his head and captured his attention like Jacob did. 
He wants to go back. Wants to see that easy smile and those broad shoulders, wants to pick that incredible brain over some other book. 
When was the last time he took the time to do something just for him? 
Too long apparently if he’s considering driving all the way back to the south side for a pair of stunning green eyes that look like nothing nature could ever create. How are those even real? They have to be; Jacob doesn’t strike him as the type to wear colored contacts just for the heck of it.
Skye sets his travel mug full of coffee on his desk and rummages through his messenger bag for the tablet that always likes to slide around. When his work is done, then he can daydream. Or perhaps not, because look at where his actual dreams led him earlier. 
A few minutes after he settles in, there’s a familiar knock at his door and without even waiting, his assistant Ranika pokes her head in. “Morning! Where’s your coffee intake at?”
It’s a running joke between them. Skye usually requires two cups just to get out the door of his brownstone and a third to walk into Dalton Tower. Four cups are required if he has to deal with Alex, his younger brother.
“One. Two if you count this.” He gestures at the half full travel cup. “I got breakfast in the cafeteria too. Did you know their bagel breakfast sandwiches are really good? I should do that more often.”
Ran enters the office and closes the door behind her, dark eyes wide in concern. “Who are you and what did you do to my boss? I’ve never seen you willingly eat before ten.”
“Ha ha.” Skye smiles, thinking again about Jacob and those little fried pickle chips of utter awesomeness. “I had an unexpectedly good night last night.” 
“Did you finally get laid? That would explain the appetite.” Ranika crosses the floor quickly, quite the feat considering the height of her heels, and sits down. If they aren’t at least three inches high and sharp enough to poke an eye out, she won’t even touch them for the office. “Details, Skye. Inquiring minds want to know.” 
He tosses his stress ball at her, which she catches easily and throws right back. “I didn’t. But I did meet someone...interesting.”
“Even better.” Ran crosses her legs and settles into the chair. “After the day we had...”
“Seriously, right?” Skye sighs and fiddles with the cuff on his sleeve. Today happens to be another suit day, which never fails to set his nerves on edge. Why can’t he just have a lab day where he can dress down? “I drove for the longest time after leaving last night. I was so completely and utterly done with Alex and his bullshit...” He explains how he found himself way out on the south side when he finally pulled himself out of his head. “I didn’t care where I was, really. I was hungry, so I checked around online and lo and behold, I was practically outside one of the highest rated little hole in the wall places I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh, Skye...” Ran shakes her head. It’s still odd to see it shaved so close after seeing it with those tight black braids for so long. “That’s not very smart. Not for someone like you.”
Not for a son of Archer Dalton, adopted or otherwise.
“Yeah, well, Sasha was with me. Followed me in and took a seat closest to the door.” 
“That’s only moderately better.” 
Skye makes a face. “I was more concerned with my stomach than I was with my well-being. And seriously, I’m glad I was.” He tells Ran about Jacob and the conversation they had. “I just... Wow.”
“I’ve known you for almost ten years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this gaga over someone. Especially a man.” Ran grins. She’s known for almost as long as Skye has that he swings both ways, not that he’s had a chance to explore that much. His social life outside of work obligations is practically non-existent since he moved back home last year. “I know you’re attracted to intelligence but how’s the rest of the package?” 
“I have no idea.” Skye purposefully misinterprets the question. “It’s not like he stripped down for me. There were other people around.” 
Ran reaches across the desk and smacks his arm. “You know what I mean! What does he look like? Is he at least decent?”  
A memory of wavy dark hair, a sharp jawline, and a muscled body that made Skye want to want to climb all over it makes him pause. “More than decent,” he finally settles on. “He could model for the cover of those cowboy romances I’m not supposed to know you read.”  
“Those are my guilty pleasure, what can I say?” Ran’s smile fades into a more serious expression. “All jokes aside, Skye, he sounds great. Does he bat for the same team? I want you to find someone and have a little fun. To be happy for a damned change.” Her voice lowers. “Does he know who you are?”  
Skye sighs and reaches for his coffee. “He carded me. Said my glasses make me look like I’m sixteen.”  
Ran can’t stop her laugh in time. “He’s not entirely wrong there.” 
“Hush.” He takes a sip and sets the mug down. “It didn’t really seem to faze him, who I am. Most of what we discussed happened after that. It was...it was the most normal I’ve felt since I came back from grad school. I absolutely loved it.”  
“Do you think you’re attracted to him because of that then?”  
Skye frowns, pondering the question. “That’s entirely possible. In that bar, I wasn’t Skyler Rhoades-Dalton. I was just Skye and it felt...incredible. I didn’t have to pretend, and Jacob didn’t care. He treated me the same as he would anyone else. Or at least the same as anyone who could discuss books with him. The guy looks like a complete punk but is a closet bookworm underneath.”  
Ran shakes her head. “Only a rich white boy like you uses the word punk anymore.”  
“Then what else would you call him? His hair is spiked and bleached, and he’s got more piercings than you. Studs most of the way up each ear, and he’s got a bar across the top of one. Like that blonde techie gal in that show we like.” He doesn’t know what it’s called but he likes it.  
“You are so ridiculous. And that’s called an industrial. Which I’m not allowed to get here because of the dress code.” Ran rolls her eyes.  
“I promise, if I ever take over the world, I’ll make sure that changes,” Skye says with a wink. “But I thought it was a nose piercing you wanted?”  
“Both would be nice.” Ran readjusts herself in the uncomfortable chair. It’s a little trick he learned long ago, that the only comfortable chair in his office is his. Keeps visitors from staying long. “You never did answer the first question though. Does he bat for the same team?” 
Skye sighs and leans back in his chair, hoping the ceiling would provide some inspiration. It doesn’t, as usual. “I don’t know.” 
“How do you plan to find out?” 
“Well, while I was there, I discovered that place makes some wicked fried pickles I’m certain Randal would never approve of. I can develop a craving for them after just one visit, right?” 
Ran laughs, her dark eyes dancing in delight. “I think it’s something else you’re craving.” 
“Well, fried pickles sounds so much more polite than cock, doesn’t it?” 
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shock · 6 years ago
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Hey jack so it turns out the reason my body physically rejects everything I eat is the fact I apparently also have an awful gluten sensitivity. Do you know any good recipes and/or have advice on not scarfing down an entire loaf of bread for dinner despite knowing it'll end in my untimely demise
i’m glad you were able to find out what it was! my life changed a lot for the better once i found out about my allergy.
in my case, i’ve wanted bread less and less the longer i’ve gone without gluten - the thing about bread is it’s super filling, so i’ve found a lot that sits in my stomach the same way without Killing me. i’m also lucky enough to live in a place with a trader joe’s, i haven’t seen any grocery stores like it that have so many good gluten free options (their everything bagels & their gf bread are all so good).
provided you can eat these things, this is what i eat pretty much. i don’t eat pork or beef, but i’m sure if you do you could think of stuff for it! i don’t do a lot of recipes but i’ll link some things i used to jump off from when i first started after:
1. i can usually turn eggs into a bread substitute if i really want a burrito or a sandwich, just turn it into an omelette. i can usually keep most of the ingredients the same, or it gives me inspiration to get creative. you can also put eggs in/on a lot of stuff. eggs in hell. put it on chili. put it in stir fry. put it on rice in general. make them however you want. i’ve made a lot of breakfast sandwiches by just layering the ingredients between two eggs. 
2. potatoes! i eat so many potatoes. i either do them roasted or my specific mashed potato recipe that’s less of a recipe and more just ‘do what you want, it’s done when you like it’. i cut up all the potatoes, don’t peel the skin, shove that shit in a pot, chop up a few cloves of garlic, drain that shit when it’s ready, then put a bunch of milk and sour cream and butter in there, finish with pepper and salt, boom. super hearty and i usually have a ton of leftovers. i just made that and fed 4 people and still had enough leftovers for 2 of us to have breakfast with them. and you can put whatever meat or anything else you want in there. you can make hashbrowns, fries, you can do so much with potatoes so they don’t get old. also you can make sweet potatoes! they’re just as fun! 
3. RICE. what can you do with rice? everything. make stir fry (i make vegetable stir fry for me and my vegan/vegetarian friends and everyone wins). you can do stir fry like five billion different ways and make it in bulk so you have tons of leftovers too. a lot of time i’ll just make some rice, some chicken, and combine it and get a lot of meals out of it that i can make different depending on if i want to put anything in it later. i make tikka masala, teriyaki chicken, i make a lot of my own sauces… you can combine sooo much with rice. i always have at least 3 kinds of rice at home. pretty much every meat can work with rice. lots of vegetables do too!
4. soups! i do roasted red pepper soup and put some chicken sausage in there. or i use miso broth to make a vegetable soup, usually with broccoli or green beans. usually a lot of ‘thick’ soups are good. 
5. my go-to snack is hummus and corn chips. a lot of snacks got cut out of my diet when i switched over and i didn’t realize just HOW MANY snacks were entirely gluten. i’ll also have a chocolate bar on me sometimes. 
6. oatmeal (make sure it doesn’t have gluten), i’ll make some oatmeal and chop up a banana, put some peanut butter in it, you can make it really filling with just a few ingredients. this helped me when i realized eating cereal was like impossible now but still wanted a sweet breakfast.
7. when i crave pastries, i can make them myself. gluten free flour can be expensive but i’ve noticed i eat a lot less sweets now that i’m not able to eat gluten, but i’ve definitely made my own brownies/cookies/sweetbread from home. i also make gluten free pancakes sometimes. 
8. i’ll also make chicken chili and dip chips into it. chili is super good and you can add things to it, like avocado/an egg/corn/other veggies + spices. it’s also really heavy.
9. …pizza balls… where when i’m craving a pizza and don’t want to make dough because that sucks to do for me and i cook up some turkey meatballs in pizza sauce/tomato sauce, cover them in whatever cheese and spices i want, bam. tricks my brain into thinking i ate pizza. 
10. yogurt and cream cheese. i’ll put something chocolate in the yogurt i get to satisfy my sweet tooth. and cream cheese is really filling, i eat it on all the gf bread/bagels i get. you can also put it in a lot of stuff to make it super heavy. 
here’s some info on gluten-free pastas, i thought i had more links but i can’t find them right now! 
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tessxomarie · 6 years ago
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Saving You - Part Thirteen
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*Here it is, finally an update (ha-ha). Thank you all for being so patient, and I hope your enjoy the next installment of Saving You!*
Angel and Coco take Kendra and I back to Angel’s.
The rest of the club headed out on the manhunt for Erik.
The car ride to Angel’s was silent. I feel like the emotional rollercoaster of the last day have caught up with me.
Kendra has held my hand the entire ride, I know she would want me to talk but she also knows that silence is okay. She never forces the issue, she lets her actions speak up.
Once we arrive back at Angel’s, I remain mute. We enter through the front door and I make a B Line for the couch.
“Are you girls hungry? One of us can go up to corner diner and grab something?” Coco asks.
I remain in a daze, staring blankly at the chair across from me. I feel Kendra’s hand on top of my bandaged one.
“Food sounds great, we all need to eat. Umm, how about two BLT’s and two fries? And a chocolate shake for Lee.” Kendra replies to Coco, and when she says chocolate shake, I snap out of my daze – chocolate anything makes me happy.
“Chocolate shake?” I repeat looking at Kendra, and she busts out a laugh.
“There’s my Lee, my chocolate obsessed Lee. Boys are going to get us food, we are staying put.” She explains.
I look at Angel and Coco, who are staring at me intently.
“Leaving us alone? No. We can’t be alone, Kendra.” I state as I begin to stand up but quickly sit back down as I feel a head rush.
Both guys rush to my aide.
“Leah, babe, you need to take it easy. You also need to eat. Coco will stand guard outside while I’m gone. I’ll only be a few minutes.” Angel assures me as he looks me in the eye, but I feel so unsettled his voice sounds faded.
I simply nod as I try to get it together.
Angel departs, but not before another forehead kiss is given.
“Do you want to talk?” Kendra asks as soon as Angel’s bike roars down the driveway.
“Talk about what?” I retort.
“Everything? Anything? Lee, it’s been quite the day. I know you’ve talked a lot between last night and this morning, but I know you’re a second away from just shutting down.”
Kendra is right, she’s always right.
I take a deep breath and run my hands through my hair, “How the fuck did I end up here, Kenz? Like, why did Erik prey on me? Why did he have to rape me not once, but twice? Why did he have to go terrorize my apartment? I don’t have a safe haven right now, I have a bunch of bikers serving as security. Like, how? Why? I’m supposed to be the one saving and helping people, I’m not supposed to be saved.” I ramble.
Kendra pulls me in for a hug.
“Shh, Lee. Breathe, babes. Breathe for me.” She tells me as I just start to unravel in her lap.
“Aleeah Starr Parker.” Kendra beings, “You deserved to be saved. I hate to break it to you, but none of us are immune from fuckery. I wish you were though. I promise, I’m going to do everything I can in my fucking power to assure you will always be safe. You didn’t deserve any of this. Please know that you are loved, Lee. We love you so much, and we’ll do whatever it takes to protect you – no matter what.” Kendra tells me as she pets my hair, helping me calm down.
It does the trick, because Kendra means everything she says and keeps her word.
I know her head has to be spinning just as much as mine is.
I sit back up and wipe my eyes and try to collect myself. I look at Kendra and she has tears in her eyes.
“What do I do next, Kenz? How do I start to move forward? I can’t go home, I can’t work right now – I’m a fucking hot mess.” I explain as Kendra rubs my back.
“Well first thing is first, we’re going to eat. After that, how about you lie down and sleep? I’ll have Coco take me to your place, I can try and clean up what I can. Then, we’ll wait to hear from Bishop, okay? One task at a time Lee-Lee.”
I nod my head in agreement.
“One task at a time, if only it was as easy as it sounds.” I say as I slowly get up and I make my way to the bathroom for a simple moment of peace and quiet, and solidarity.
I let the water run, and I rub some water along my face. I look myself in the mirror and it may sound weird, but I rarely recognize myself.
If it’s possible, I’m paler than usual. My eyes, there is no sign of life staring back at me. My body is telling me I’ve been through the ringer.
I then look down at my wrist, my bandaged wrist.
I can’t ignore it.
I did this to myself…
I’m not trying to downplay any of this. What happened, it’s fucking horrifying. How I coped with it, even more terrifying.
I continue to stare at my wrist, and I can’t help but take the bandage off and I see my newest scar.
I know I shouldn’t have taken the bandage off, but it’s like my body acted before my thought process was complete.
Before I can touch my scar, there’s a knock at the door.
“Lee, you alright? You’ve been in here for like ten minutes.” Kendra asks.
I shake my head to refocus, I open the door and Kendra breathes a sigh of relief but then looks down at my now naked yet injured wrist.
“Aleeah, why is the bandage off?” She asks with worry.
I shrug my shoulders as I truly do not know what I just did.
“We need to cover that back up, babes. It’s still fresh.” Kendra says, and I spit back with sass, “So is this entire event…shit, sorry Kenz.” I bite, regretting my words and tone instantly.
“Lee, I get it. But as your nurse, this shit needs to be properly covered for another day or so.” Kendra states as I walk over and sit on the toilet as she searches for proper bandages in Angel’s bathroom.
I guess the one good thing is that thanks to Angel’s extra curricular gang activity…he’s well stocked in medical supplies.
Kendra wraps my wrist in silence, but it’s a comfortable silence. She gently squeezes my hand when she’s done. Just as she does that, we hear Coco and Angel come in the front door.
“Food is here!” Angel announces.
Kendra leads me out of the bathroom, and we emerge into the kitchen.
“Leah, you alright babe?” Angel asks with worry as he sees Kendra holding my hand.
“I will be.” I quietly say.
Kenz and I eat quietly as the boys head back outside to smoke and probably to come up with their own plan on how they want to handle Erik. “I’m glad you ate. You needed to, because a bagel doesn’t really count as a meal.” Kendra says with a smirk.
“Ha ha.” I sarcastically say as I finish the last bite of my BLT.
Before we know it, the boys reenter the house.
“Coco, you’re taking me to Leah’s apartment. We are going to clean up what we can, and start packing up shit.” Kendra demands.
Angel and Coco both look at us with confused looks. “Packing up shit?” Coco questions.
I haven’t even begin to think of where I’ll be calling home again, but all I know is that I will never go back to that apartment.
“I’m not staying in that apartment ever again. I know Erik is going to be handled, but he fucking invaded my safe haven, I will never feel comfortable there. Kendra is doing the right thing, please just help her with what you can.” I plead.
“You got it Lee, baby. I’ll call up Gilly and Chucky, maybe Letty too. We’ll get shit straightened up in a blink.” Coco assures me.
“I’m ready if you are, Coco.” Kendra says.
Coco nods his head, and Kendra gives me a hug as she takes my keys to my Jeep and they leave the house shortly after.
Angel stands in the kitchen as I remain at the table.
“Where are you going to stay if you’re not in that apartment?” He asks out of curiosity.
I shrug my shoulders, “Maybe with Kendra for a hot second, until I can find somewhere else. Maybe a house even. I’m going to need a fresh start in the worst way.” I admit.
Angel just nods his head as if he agrees with what I’ve said.
“Do you mind if I go lay down for a little?” I ask.
“Of course, babe. Go get some rest. I just need to finish this one thing with my bike, but I’ll come check on you in a little bit.”
I go into Angel’s room and situate myself in his bed yet again.
It feels so natural, to be in his bed.
I see the shirt I wore to bed last night laying on his bed; I pick it up and hold it to me, just for a moment of comfort. If Angel can’t lay next to me right now, at least I have something of his to help me settle down.
I hear the faint noise of some classic rock being played outside on the radio, and I laugh as I find some comfort in that genre. I drift off to sleep for what I think is a day, but when Angel checks on me, I’m made aware it has only been 45 minutes.
He didn’t mean to wake me, but he did. I could feel his presence and he came in his room to change his shirt as the other one had been covered in dirt and grease.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says as he slips his dirty shirt off.
I’m a little groggy, but when he’s standing there shirtless, I quickly get it together.
So many tattoos. So much…Angel. Like, what?
As I’m taking the view in, I scan his body as I never looked at Angel in this kind of way.
That’s when I see his scar on his abdomen, from a few weeks ago.
He catches my gaze at his stomach and he tries to cover it up.
“No, Angel. I mean, please, don’t hide it. Do you mind if I see it?” I ask, motioning for him to come to the bed.
He reluctantly obliges, and I reach my hand out to his stomach, by his scar. He takes a small step back, and I see goosebumps form.
I look up in his eyes, and even from this viewpoint, he is as tall as a tree.
“It’s healing nicely. That makes me happy.” I softly say.
Angel nods in agreement.
“Can I ask you something else?” I ask.
“Go for it.” He says.
“Who did that to you? Who would want to hurt you? Is it wrong for me to think Adelita had a hand in this?” I ask, because ever since that night – I did wonder if Adelita did that as a strategic move.
Angel runs his hand over his face as he now sits next to me on the bed.
“I do know who did this to me.” He starts out.
He takes another breath and grabs my bandaged hand.
“And part of me believes you know who had a hand in this too.” He gently says as his warm eyes stare into my lifeless ones.
Rage starts to fill my body, if Adelita had any part in having Angel and Coco attacked, I’m going to become a fucking serial killer.
Angel sees my face change, and he can’t help but laugh nervously.
“Easy there Cujo.”Angel warns with a sly smile.
“There is nothing comical here, Angel. What do you mean I already know? Are you telling me Adelita is the one who fucking stabbed you?” I ask with venom.
I slowly sit up more, now I’m basically sitting on my knees in his bed, ready to fucking lunge out of bed to lead my own manhunt.
“She didn’t touch me. But, there was no intruder. The person that stabbed me, it was one of her rebel kids. One of the teens.” He admits to me.
And my mind is blown.
What the fuck does he mean? A teenager did this to him?
My resting bitch face is back in full force only now, I have a confused resting bitch face.
“Details, Angel. You need to tell me the details, what the fuck happened?” I demand.
Angel moves closer to me on the bed, “Leah, breathe babe.” He says in a warning tone.
I take a breath and sit back with my legs crossed.
“Please, Angel. Please tell me who did this to you?” I beg, and for a split second, I have a flashback to last night when he practically asked me the same thing regarding Erik.
“Déjà vu.” He says as he inches a tiny bit closer. He takes my hand again and just rubs circles on the top of my bandaged hand.
“You know how the rebels have people of all ages, from adults to kids. Adelita has a handful of teens that are her go-to’s for shit. One of those little shitheads, he never liked me around. Always made snarky comments when I went to visit Adelita. The last few months, I spent more and more time down there, just trying to distract myself from the EZ bullshit. But um, this kid – Rocco, they call him, he just, he didn’t like me. He made it known he felt I was a threat to what Adelita was building, and he well, he fucking stabbed me and his other shithead friend was the one who shot Coco and I. Did Adelita know they were going to do this? Absolutely not. The look in her eyes when this happened, I’ve never seen that pain before.”
Fuck.
What kind of world am I living in?I think to myself.
“What Rocco and his friend did to you, is that why you broke up with Adelita?” I ask softly.
Angel leans in towards me, our foreheads meet for a few moments, silence fills the air.
“That story is for another day, babe.” He tells me as he places a kiss on my forehead.
I let out a giggle when his lips meet my head again.
He leans back and quirks a look, “What?”
“I should start charging you a dollar every time you kiss my forehead. I’d be a millionaire by dinnertime.” I reply with sass but with a smile.
“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that sass.” He says, ignoring my comment of the forehead kisses but I don’t mind.
I smile and lay back down, Angel reaches and puts a piece of my hair behind my ear. He then notices the shirt on his pillow, the one I wore last night.
I instantly get nervous, “Umm, I put it there as like a security blanket since you were outside.” I awkwardly say.
He smiles when I say that, and he reaches for it and puts the shirt on.
“I think I could use a power snooze, mind if I join you?” He asks as he starts to crawl to his spot on the bed.
No words form or come out fast enough, but I nod my head as shock takes over my face.
He put on the shirt he lent me…and he is now laying next to me…again.
I instantly curl up next to him and he puts an arm around me.
No other words are said in that moment, it’s the most comfortable silence I’ve ever endured.
It isn’t until he places one more forehead kiss that I take the opportunity to say something.
“And that’s another dollar.” I jokingly say as I stare up at him for a second. He smirks at me and gets more comfortable in the bed.
“My Leah, my Leah, my Leah – what am I going to do with you?” He says as he trails off and that is when we both drift off to sleep.
Just as my eyes close and I feel myself drifting back to sleep, I manage to finally find some peace and comfort. I do not feel scared or afraid right now. I feel safe…again, and that’s all because of Angel.
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stevenuniversallyreviews · 6 years ago
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Episode 90: Restaurant Wars
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“Thanks for calling Fish Stew Pizza, we do fries now.”
After a streak of episodes about neglect, mourning, disability, consent, and harassment, I think I’m ready for a goofy one.
Restaurant Wars is the stupidest episode of Steven Universe, and I don’t say that with an ounce of ill will. I do say this with the knowledge that Say Uncle exists: non-canon goofs are what they are, but this story takes place in continuity so it is official that Steven once saved the boardwalk by turning his house into a restaurant and making better food than two food professionals. That will never again be a thing that didn’t happen in his life.
From the start, there’s no attempt to hide the silliness. The conflict begins with Fryman and Kofi screaming “RESTAURANT WAR” at each other and cutting to black. The episode is presented in a series of titled vignettes and never stops treating the Fryman/Pizza feud as seriously as a...
...I can’t even finish that sentence, the principal characters here are named Mr. Fryman and Kofi Pizza. We don’t even know Fryman’s first name, and Kofi’s last name is the word “pizza” and he runs a pizza shop. This is so, so, so dumb. I love it.
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A huge strength of this series is its ability to balance depth with humor, the big term serialization with the normal daily life of a magical kid. It sometimes swings hard at plotty episodes, but rarely does it swing this far in the opposite direction. I’m not talking about Restaurant Wars being a townie episode, because plenty of townie episodes affect the overall plot and develop important characters. Steven’s connection to humanity is critical to his status as a child of two worlds, so while alien stuff might be cooler, there will always be a place for the mundane in the actual plot. 
This is a matter of tone, and Restaurant Wars is the tonal opposite of a plot-heavy story that expands the characters and lore. Uncle Grandpa and Log Date 7 15 2 and Kindergarten Kid have a similar devotion to comedy, but we still get arcs for the characters within them. Nobody grows in Restaurant Wars. The conflict’s resolution is about returning to the status quo we saw at the beginning of the episode, not moving forward or learning critical information. The single consequence is that Ronaldo gets dumped by a girlfriend we didn’t even know he had until moments before it happens, which is just deliciously cruel. 
This might actually be my favorite Ronaldo episode, if I’m including episodes featuring him on top of episodes where he’s the focus: it’s not that I revel in watching him suffer (not fully, anyway), but Zachary Steel is really good at making that suffering funny, from his livid “Do you know how much BLOGGING I haven’t been able to do!?” to lasting despair after his surprisingly real girlfriend breaks up with him. It’s a welcome change of pace from his smug buffoonery, and it’s such a surprising and mean joke for the episode to end without throwing him a single bone. This subplot alone is worth the price of admission.
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The breakup, like everything else in the episode, borrows its tone from the cheesiest anime melodrama anyone could ask for. There may be a reference to a more specific show, but I’m frankly not huge on slice of life anime, and despite how much I love writing about Steven Universe I draw a line at doing extensive research about friggin’ Restaurant Wars. Regardless, we get the drawn-out gasps, the kabuki emoting, the dramatic camera flashes, the works. It’s not just anime stuff—the vignette titles evoke the sort of Ken Burns parody you’d see in a show like Community, let nobody say Lamar Abrams and Katie Mitroff don’t have eclectic comedy tastes—but even a casual like me can see the Japanese influence here.
This is the sort of episode that only works every once in a while, because it’s so much compared to the general mood of the series. I understand anyone who dislikes Restaurant Wars, because it’s really different and nothing happens and it’s unbelievably stupid. But dammit, I can’t stay mad at it. Its timing is perfect, in the middle of a stretch of Beach City episodes that have been varying levels of stressful. It’s not interrupting anything or wasting your time for a second by pretending to be anything it’s not. The crew just wanted to tell a stupid story about grown men feuding over who gets to make what food, and that’s okay.
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It helps that we get a better look at Fryman and Kofi, two adults that Steven understandably doesn’t hang out with very often. We already know Kofi has a temper, but Fryman until now has been defined by his gruff acceptance of how weird the world around him is, and it’s fantastic to see him revved up. My favorite joke of the episode has Steven explain that Fryman’s supposed to do fries by acknowledging his name and absurd hair, only for Fryman to not realize his hair is shaped like fries. These ridiculous names and his ridiculous character design already exist, so they might as well be used for a ridiculous story.
To be clear, this better look doesn’t actually mean much for their characters, because in a normal episode I doubt Kofi would try branding people with an iron. Again, this isn’t an story about growing, so at best we understand by the end of it that these two take their jobs seriously, but that’s something we already knew. Perhaps it would be funnier to use more established characters for something this zany, but I think we benefit from the flexibility that comes with relative blank slates: Restaurant Wars was never going to be believable, but it would be even less believable if people we knew acted this out of character. 
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Their kids get a nice amount of focus as well. I love finally seeing Jenny and Kiki hang out with Ronaldo and Peedee, even in this situation. I get why they wouldn’t normally interact, as Peedee is an anxious kid and Ronaldo is Ronaldo, but these are neighboring families that each have two siblings who work in their dads’ food shops. Add in the fact that both families seem to have single fathers (although Jenny and Kiki are lucky enough to have the world’s greatest Gunga) and the Frymans and Pizzas have a lot in common. 
Unlike their parents, we get grounded character moments here that show these four probably have some history together. The highlight is Jenny stage whispering her doubt about Ronaldo’s girlfriend to Peedee, who immediately agrees; these are people who are able to stand the guy enough to hang out with him, but know he���s usually full of it. Jenny gets a sweet moment supporting Kiki, and Kiki’s people-pleasing attitude might be “helpful” here, but her focus on the needs of others above her own will be addressed in our very next episode.
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There’s really nothing else to talk about in an outing like Restaurant Wars, but I have two stray thoughts for this stray episode. First, I’m glad it happened after Greg got rich, because even if it’s not mentioned it at least adds some realism into the conversion of Steven’s home. Second, I’m baffled by the pairing of the mundane pizza bagel with the revolutionary fries filled with ketchup, but I’m not exactly gonna be taken out of the moment by a strange plot point here. I’m glad I live in a world where this episode exists. But I'll also be glad to get back to the actual show. 
We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
This is by no means a favorite, and it’s not an episode I’m ever gonna rewatch outside of a binge or for reviewing purposes, but come on. It’s not hurting anybody.
Top Fifteen
Steven and the Stevens
Hit the Diamond
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
The Return
Jailbreak
The Answer
Sworn to the Sword
Rose’s Scabbard
Mr. Greg
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Beach City Drift
Winter Forecast
Love ‘em
Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2: The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Warp Tour
The Test
Future Vision
On the Run
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness
Political Power
Full Disclosure
Joy Ride
Keeping It Together
We Need to Talk
Chille Tid
Cry for Help
Keystone Motel
Catch and Release
When It Rains
Back to the Barn
Steven’s Birthday
It Could’ve Been Great
Message Received
Log Date 7 15 2
Same Old World
The New Lars
Like ‘em
Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven
The Message
Open Book
Story for Steven
Shirt Club
Love Letters
Reformed
Rising Tides, Crashing Tides
Onion Friend
Historical Friction
Friend Ship
Nightmare Hospital
Too Far
Barn Mates
Steven Floats
Drop Beat Dad
Too Short to Ride
Restaurant Wars
Enh
Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team
Say Uncle
Super Watermelon Island
Gem Drill
No Thanks!
     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure
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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago
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Survey #194
“i’m numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain.”
Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? I believe I first had those Flintstones ones, then later Mom got the gummy type. Have you ever gone to court? Only to explain to a judge why I thought my scheduled month-long stay in the psych hospital was unnecessarily long for my state. I was convinced all I needed to do was talk to Jason and boom, my problems would be gone. Safe to say, I was delusional. Glad I won that battle though considering I loathe that hospital for their extreme lack of therapy and activities to keep us occupied and out of our own heads. I was committed there I think five times and no stay did jack-shit. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. How long has it been since you’ve seen The Lion King? Years. But bitch when that live action remake comes out I'mma be the very first hoe at that theater. Have you ever had a crush on your siblings friend? No. What's the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? However long the flight to Michigan was. What’s the best wedding you’ve been to? My former dance instructor's. What time did you wake up this morning? Like, 7. What are you doing this weekend? There's no difference in weekends and weekdays for me. I'm sure I'm doing nothing. What’s your favorite Disney movie? TLK. Do you wear colored contacts? No, but honestly I'd love more sapphire blue ones if they're a prescription and not just cosmetic. Who was the last person you went to the movies with? I think Mom? Or did I go with Dad later? When’s the last time you spent time with your cousins? I haven't seen Robby since '15, but Audrey passed through with my uncle sometime last year. My other cousins, hell if I know. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Good Lord, that's an essay. Just more than anything, I think it was the fact that she cares so deeply about animals and people alike and is passionate about what's right and wrong. Can you speak in a different language conversationally? If so, which language? I could maybe manage a very simple German convo? Do you ever fear falling asleep? No, but I do rather frequently don't look forward to it, or at least the process of falling asleep. I don't go quickly. What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel. Would you rather eat all day or exercise all day? I don't believe you physically could eat all day? And exercising, I'm assuming you'd eventually pass out? But let's be hypothetical. I'd have to choose exercise, I care way too much about not gaining weight. Does one eye tend to be weaker than the other? Yes, my right is considerably worse. What do you think of guys who ask girls out over via text message or internet? It's definitely not my preferred method, but do it if you don't have the courage to in person/just can't for whatever reason. Have you ever had a churro? I believe I have? If I'm remembering the correct treat, it was unbelievably too sweet and I didn't like the crunch. What’s one thing you like about your town? The town itself is real old-fashioned and small. Did you believe that alcohol is more dangerous then weed? I know it is. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Are you a fan of the Grand Theft Auto series? Never played, but I highly doubt I'd enjoy it. Do you like the beach? If it wasn't for the wind, blistering heat, and sand. So basically, I don't. I only like being in the ocean. Do you or did you have a curfew at one point? No. Well, correction, if it was a school night before high school and I was out with a friend, I'm sure Mom established something, but idr. Do you peel the wrappers off of plastic bottles? No. What do you think is the youngest age someone should lose their virginity? No younger than 16. But at any age, be. Smart. Have you ever played Super Smash Brothers? I think at friends' as a kid? What do you like on your sundaes? Like, just chocolate syrup lmao. Have you done anything productive today? Well, I exercised some. Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage? What I care about is waiting for a person you feel truly in love with. I actually feel like abstaining could be a bad idea, as I'd assume for some people, the desire to have sex would play a factor in them wanting to get married, so marriage could potentially be rushed for the sake of that when you're not adequately prepared in other areas. What is your sexual orientation? Bi. Do you put your name on your food coverings? If I was using a fridge at a job or whatever, yeah, but I'm not in that type of situation. What is something you have acquired with age? Open-mindedness. Would you ever go out in public sporting pajamas? Depends on where I'm going. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you enjoy history? No. Have you ever changed religions? Twice. Is there anyone to whom you are afraid to stand up to? Mom. And pretty much everyone else. Do you like making lists? Sometimes. Do you play sports with your siblings? Never di- oh wait, Mom signed all three of us up for cheerleading as little kids. Hated it. Are there stairs in your house? No. Do you like onions on your burger? A small amount of minced pieces is fine. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. What is your favorite room to clean? I get the most satisfaction out of cleaning my own. Do you enjoy cleaning? Not the process of it, just the feeling afterwards. What do you consider your ideal weight? My /ideal/ would be around 120 again, but I'd be happy enough between 130-140. How many pounds do you need to lose (or gain) to be your ideal weight? LET US NOT What is your favorite thing about Valentine’s Day? Just it being a celebration of love, which to me, goes beyond just romantic. I think people should spend a little extra effort in letting one another know they really love each other. Now I believe every day you should treat people with love, but seriously focus on it and be thankful for those you have. If you wear one, what color is your wristwatch? N/A Have you ever made a pair of earrings? No. Who did you inherit your hair color from? I actually think Dad? Going through family pictures after Grampa died, I found out he was actually born dirty-blonde (I've only known him with black), like I was. Pretty sure Mom's was always brown. Have you ever wished that you were born in a different era? Woulda loved being born in the mid-early '80s. Do you prefer soft rock or hard rock? ....... I read "rock" as in like, minerals. And I was. Very confused. High on the list of my dumbest readings. Anyway, definitely hard. What was the best time of your life? As a kid. Do you prefer sunny or cloudy weather? Partly cloudy. How do you like your potatoes? For most of my life I only liked them as fries or as potato skins w/ cheese and bacon bits, but I'm gradually branching out. I like baked potatoes split with cheese and bacon inside too, and Sara's mom exposed me to the very first time I enjoyed mashed potatoes, yeet. So those have to be made a very specific, non-clumpy way. I also like hash browns, but not the shredded kind. Oh yeah, I live for the fiesta potatoes at Taco Bell too like gd good shit. Who’s your best friend? My babygirl. <3 If you don't count her, it'd be my mom, but if she's excluded too being family, I don't really have a best friend. Maybe Girt, idk. What’s a TV show you never miss? I don't watch any shows regularly. The one and only situation where I'd watch every episode ASAP is if Meerkat Manor came back. Have you ever lied about your gender? No. What are you planning on doing on your next birthday? Go out to eat with family, and though unlikely, getting a tattoo would be awwwesome. Do you know anyone else with your last name other than family? I don't think so? Is your favorite band still together? I actually just looked it up because I really wanted to know, and his band's still going, apparently! I thought this coming tour ("No More Tours 2") was the end, but apparently it's just the finale of his world tours. Where do you see most of your concerts? I've only been to one, which was in Raleigh. That's the most likely place we'd go to, though. Have you ever had escargot? Never in my life will I try it. Do you use Google every day? No. What was the last new food you tried that you thought was delicious? Oh my god in Heaven. So, for Christmas, my sis made these hot chocolate cream balls things she found on Pinterest, and literally, maybe the best thing I'd ever had. I just barely had enough discipline to not eat more than one lol. If you could invent a new holiday, what month would you put it in? Hm. Idk. Have you ever had a bedroom with a specific theme? No, I don't think so. If you had to design a room with a theme, what theme would you choose? Gothic, maybe with lil bits of pastel goth for some more personality. What was the best thing that ever happened to you? Realizing I can't just give my entire life to a person, losing any control over it myself. You have to allow yourself to be free; do not chain yourself to a single person. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? No. One, I don't have a source of income, and two, I'm perfectly aware what probably 99% do with it, especially because of my mom, who's pretty much made friends with the homeless on the side of the road, has learned each and every one use drugs or alcohol, so instead she buys them food frequently. That's something I would want to do, but I'm so paranoid of strangers, especially desperate ones, harming me for whatever reason that I probably never will. Do you like your hair better long or short? SHORT. OH MY GOOOOOD CUTTING MY HAIR SHORT WAS ONE OF MY BEST DECISIONS. Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover? Yeah. What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back? Hmmmm. I don't really know. Well, the Animal Planet site still exists, but I wish there was still a dedicated MM section, y'know, with the forums and games and such. Really think it'd be nice if they kept little sections for all of their classic, better-known shows for old fans. Hell, I'm pretty sure MM was their most successful, why not keep remnants of it up there? Do you ever watch TV shows on YouTube? Rarely, if I ever watch a show. Foo Fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: Not a real fan of either, but I'd have to choose the former as I enjoy at least two of their songs. Have your parents ever complained about your hair? My mom was reeeaaally shocked and distressed when she arrived at the parlor when I got the "big" haircut and saw how much was gone (eight inches), but only because she was scared I'd hate it. Thankfully she really liked it when it was all said and done. Are you a fan of the Saw movies? Never really watched 'em. How did you decide on your Tumblr name? I'm a sucker for alliteration, and it's a survey blog. Do your friends have the complete opposite music taste as you? My closer friends, not really, actually. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? I don't know any of my half-siblings' ages, and I forget how old Ashley is sometimes. I forget frequently if she's two or three years older than me. Do you tend to walk places more than drive? Ha, you can't walk to a destination here in the country. I only ever ride/rarely drive anywhere. Do you have any photos of you kissing someone? Yes. Do you ever hang out with your ex? Rarely with Girt. Would you like the ability to read minds? No, especially if you can't choose when it's "on" or "off." Even if you only choose when you do it, idk. Just... doesn't seem like a safe idea. Do you see the same people everyday? Lol that's usually just my mom, and yes. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Are you mad at anyone right now? No. It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, what do you do? Almost a guarantee I won't hear, considering it's on vibrate. Now if I did for whatever reason, ignore it unless it's a contact on my phone. Have you ever fallen backwards on a chair? I believe so, playing as a kid. Last time you laughed so hard you cried? I'm not sure, but considering I do that easily... Who last talked about kissing you? Sara. Who was the last thing/person you took a picture with? My kiiiitty. Did you speak to your father today? No. Would you ever get gauged ears? Definitely no. What aren’t you looking forward to? I really don't mean to sound all emo and whatnot, but I genuinely don't look forward to like every afternoon/early evening, as that's around when I hit my extreme boredom decline, which goes so low I feel death could maybe be more exciting. I am in no way suicidal, I just want this era of isolation, lack of purpose, and no progress towards a great future to end. My life's been at a stand-still for pretty much a year. Would you rather get your tongue or lip pierced? I already have both done. I find my snake eyes way cuter, but when I consider my outward appearance and what people generally see, I'd rather have my labret. What is your favorite personality trait? Kindness. What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do? Idk, but something with deep personal meaning for sure. When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you? There has to be a mutual, serious care for our relationship; my partner has to understand I'm not in for a fling. We both have to have the goal of forming and maintaining a healthy, long-lasting, meaningful relationship. If I feel being together is a game to you or just for a couple months of a bit of fun, bye. Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn’t feel it? No. Well, I do with my mom if she's pissed me off and I *feel* like I don't, but I know I do. If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible? Not necessarily. I believe engagement is a stage where you're certain you want to get married in the not-so-distant future, but you have other important things to take care of first, like for example, buying a home and stuff like that. When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis? I wouldn't freak the hell out if you couldn't talk to me for a day, but I'd definitely want at least a little conversation, especially if we're serious. Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? Yes. You should know how you're going to handle being with your s/o every single day. Did you ever give a hickey to the last person you kissed or you guys didn’t go that far? Not yet. Is there anyone you want to come see you? Yeah. What was the last thing you saw that scared you? A video of this guy with his giant pet centipede like an idiot (super venomous) crawling all over him. Centipedes creep me the hell out, although at the same time I find them kinda cool. Is there something that’s happened today that you don’t want to ever go through again? No. Is the last person you kissed attractive? Yeah. Do you feel bored with your life? I think I've covered this enough. Who’s someone you miss that you haven’t talked to in years? Megan, more than anyone. Do you have severe withdrawals from medications? I don't think any were ever severe, but I was weaned off of them all I believed. Just honestly I've been on so many since 6th grade that I can't recall each one's ending. I only recall having shadow hallucinations when I was coming off one. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? Let's not talk about the subject I'm more bitter about than anything else in the entire world. Summary: Don't touch Abilify even if your fucking life depended on it. Do you have a doctor you can trust? My psychiatrist and therapist, very much so. I've only seen my new general doctor twice, so I can't make a fair judgment of her. Mom has a friend who sees her though, and she only has positive things to say about her. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? A social life. Art class. What do you miss the most about college? Literally the one and only part I enjoyed at my first college was lunchtime, because Jason and I could spend time together, sometimes with his friends. Second college, nothing. It was online. Have you ever been the victim of a crime? I don't believe so? Is your life worse than you could have ever have imagined it to be? Or is it better, or just what you expected? Ohhhh man... As a kid, I was so sure I'd be amazing. Still had a bit of hope in middle school. High school and beyond, it's, so far, worse than I'd planned. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? Mountains. Driving through them is unreal. What is one place you have always wanted to visit? Idk about "always." But for the longest amount of time, it's been without a doubt South Africa. Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? Steve Irwin was and still is one of my absolute heroes. I loved Jeff Corwin, Jesse McCartney, Raven Symone, and the Sprouse twins, too. Do you prefer slow songs or fast songs? I'd say generally, faster. What color is your trash can? White. Who was your favorite family pet when you were growing up? We didn't really have a "family" pet, just ones one of us individually were particularly close to. I'd say the closest that qualifies would be Chance, our first cat. She was special. List five of your favorite YouTubers. You Already Know, GameGrumps, Shane Dawson, Daniel Howell, and Jeffree Star, but. I have so many jsfaqoweuoapsf. I wanna squeeze Rhett and Link in there, but while I still love them as people and creators, I've been losing interest in GMM over the months. What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. I also love ravens though for their intelligence and personalities. What pet names do you use with your significant other? A lot, but I'd say either "sweetheart/sweetie" or "dear" are most common from me. I think. How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic, I guess. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Well, except school band. Have you ever watched yourself on video? Yeeaah, senior project was fun. But I know how I usually am well enough to say I honestly don't feel I did badly. Have you ever missed a flight? Yup. Never go to the O'Hare airport, jfc. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Yes, and I hope to see the one this Sunday! Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? AHHHHHHH SO MANY!!!!! Social species' above all. Do you like animals better than most humans? Yes. What simple things in life bring you the most joy? Long car rides when I can play my iPod through the speakers and just go to another world. Sara singing, hearing my mom laugh. Seeing old couples holding hands in public kills me. How did you meet your significant other (if you have one)? YouTube. How did you meet your best friend? She's the same person as above. Are you friends with anybody you didn't like at first? Also see Sara lmao. Are there any musicians you didn't like at first, but grew on you? The first/most recent to come to mind is In This Moment. Is there anything you used to love, but now dislike? Peas as a kid. I'm kinda on the fence of liking or disliking PewDiePie as he is now (although I haven't watched too much of his newer content). Do you have any favorite books you'd like to have signed by the author? It'd be pretty cool for Ozzy to sign my copy of his autobiography, sure. Do you enjoy any of those old black and white horror films? Any one I've ever seen has been horrid, so I haven't seen many. What is your favorite yogurt topping? I loved those ones that had M&Ms in them. Where do you shop the most: Kmart, Target, Walmart, Fred Meyer, or other? Walmart or Harris Teeter. Have you ever done a craft project you saw on Pinterest? No. What beverages do you drink that contain caffeine? Soda. What has been the best experience you've had in a church? Uhhh. Oh, Jason's brother's wedding. Do you prefer that your nachos be spicy or not spicy? Obviously spicy. Have you ever had a kiss that felt magical? Mine and Jason's first was cute, but I don't recall if I thought it was "magical" because all I was focusing on was just how shy I was. First kiss with Sara was definitely more than special. Who is your best online friend? Sara once again. Who knows more about you: online friends or offline? Online, easily. Do you think that love makes people irrational? It can. What book, movie, or TV show did you find to be total garbage? Oh, I'm positive there's something, but nothing comes to mind. Is there a topic that is a sore-spot for you? Mental health and how it may affect your loved ones. Have you ever lost a friend over a guy/girl? Pretty much. Have you ever lost a friend because of a lifestyle change? Yup. Do you like kissing? The right person. What location holds the most memories for you? My childhood home. Hypothetically let’s just say you’re a supervillain. What’s your agenda? What are you trying to destroy and why? I would never want to be, but I suppose the most suitable for me would be punishing the person to break a promise somehow. Why, because I know just how agonizing broken promises can be. What’s your go-to topic when making small talk with others? How their day's been. When you get to be in charge of the tunes on a road trip or party - do you play what you want to hear or tailor the playlist to what you think the other people in the car/room want to hear? I do a mix of both. Thankfully, Mom and I like most of the same music, but I do learn what songs she doesn't like and avoid playing them unless I really wanna hear it. You have any bad habits you shamelessly don’t care to or plan to quit? Shamelessly, idk about that. There’s an app for everything. What apps consume the most of your time and energy? Facebook. The most overrated thing ever - what is it? I literally judge you if you have a bigass, obnoxiously loud truck. Compensating for something? The most underrated? Ummmm. Talking about pointless shit and doing nothing while enjoying your favorite person's presence is surely one. What’s something you find unconventionally romantic? Teaching your s/o how to play a game together and you both are enjoying it asjfaoswuw. One of my most cherished memories with Jason was that with Little Big Planet. Just in general I find it super cute to share what you love with each other.
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nostalgiaispeace · 6 years ago
Text
1086.
Where have you lived throughout your life?
mostly VA Beach
Do you find your job rewarding?
yes
What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday?
-
To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels?
bagels
Do you paint your nails?
no
What’s the last website you signed up for?
dropbox.
Do you check your email everyday?
yes
Have you created any pages on Facebook?
yes
Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at?
math
What’s your favourite song by Dave Matthews Band?
-
Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to?
maybe?
Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend?
not that i know of.
Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed?
sure
Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover?
yes
Have you ever had a panic attack?
too many to count.
Are you deathly allergic to anything?
enough to have to carry an epipen
Have you ever had a mouse in your house?
nope
Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex?
not that i can think of.
Is anyone you know really religious?
yes
Are your eyebrows naturally thick?
sure
Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick?
no
What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed?
A Star is Born (I Think)
Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other?
yes
Has a laptop ever burned your legs?
no. just made them hot
Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow?
not that i can think of
Who was the last person to flip you off?
idk
Anyone’s birthday coming up soon?
my mom’s
Would you ever wear fake eyelashes?
no
Are you good at following directions?
depends
Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care?
yes
From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall?
no
When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap?
if i remember
Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?
manual
Are your biceps at all noticeable?
i guess?
Have you ever seen a walrus?
no
When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule?
no
If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel?
no
Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer?
idk.
When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too?
yes
Do you tend to jump to conclusions?
yes
Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays?
yes
Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing?
yes
Ever pop someone else’s pimple?
yes
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
depends on the day
Do you crack your neck often?
no
Did you have a weird dream last night?
can’t remember it.
Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
no one really.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
both
In what way are you your own worst enemy?
in all the ways
What activities make you lose track of time?
reading
When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?”
no
Who do you tell your secrets to?
no one really
Who do you live with?
Matt
When did/will you graduate?
2009
When are you moving next?
idk
When is the last time you took a vitamin?
idk
Why are you stressed?
life
Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?
no
Where do you keep your birth certificate?
idk to be honest.
How many books are in your room?
too many to count.
Have you ever been IN a wedding?
yes
What was the last thing you laughed out loud at?
the SAG awards.
Do you have a nickname? Why?
sure; people give them to me.
Have you ever had a bad concert experience?
Danny wasn’t that great once when I saw them on their last tour before Denis was their singer for a bit.
When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this?
recently i’m sure; Matthew does.
Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm?
no
Want someone back in your life?
sometimes i do.
Are you currently sad about anything?
no
Are you wearing anything shiny?
no
How important is a sense of humor in a significant other?
pretty important
How many followers do you have on Twitter?
no idea. i don’t pay attention
Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
cracked
Have you ever been to the beach?
yes
Can you handle blood?
yes
Do you pay your bills or do your parents?
i’m grown and married fam.
What’s your best friend’s middle name?
Willow
Has any place hired you underage for a job?
no
Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school?
probably?
Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?
no
Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone?
no
Do you plan to become very wealthy some day?
idk
Do you remember your first time going to the movies?
no
Does eating breakfast make you sick?
sometimes
Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute?
no
Book series you enjoyed reading recently?
Lizzie Garner series
Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing?
no. i’m allergic to the grass....
Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it?
no
Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away?
no
Do any of your close friends have children?
yes
What do you plan on having for dinner?
i had pizza
Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting?
yes
Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone?
no
Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor?
yes
Have you ever played flashlight tag?
no
Could you call yourself a movie buff?
yes
Have you ever had a piercing get infected?
yes
Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to?
no
Are you a shorts wearing kind of person?
yes
Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy?
yes but like dusty. like i don’t think they ever dusted lol
About how much can you bench press?
lol
Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation?
yeah
Is anybody in your family a carpenter?
idk
Are you avoiding someone?
sure
Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”?
no
What’s your favorite primary color?
orange
What were you for Halloween?
nothing
Do you have any clothes from Walmart?
yes
When did you get a Facebook?
2008?
What color are your eyes?
brown
What motivates you?
God
Can you walk in heels?
yes
When was the last time someone asked you your age?
idk
Do you keep a journal?
yes
Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka?
yes
Do you wear a ring on your finger?
yes
What are you doing?
watching “Many Faces of Jane” (I think it’s called)
What’s the last kind of soup you ate?
idk
Do you currently have a sunburn?
no
Who did you last text?
Amber
Who’d you last call? About what?
i don’t remember
Are you currently frustrated with someone?
yes
Do you drink water or soda more often?
water
Do you straighten your hair?
yes
When did you last talk to your brother or sister?
rn
What is your least favorite vegetable?
all of them
Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often.
Paulina, Sami, Brittney
In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?
English
Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at?
no
When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened?
my life.
Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent?
no; hopefully next year
When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing?Describe it.
last year; harry potter leggings and a harry potter sports bra
Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female?
female i think
Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it.
dresses
Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them?
idk
Nastiest thing you’ve ever done?
idk
What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently?
actually doing the chores i needed to get done.
Have you ever done something sexual that you regret?
no
Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you?
yes
Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it?
yes; no
Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret?
probably
Do you like french fries?
yes
Have you ever eaten so much you puked?
yes
Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance?
yes, sadly
Would you rather go to Greece or France?
Greece
1 note · View note
vanessaxyvonne · 3 years ago
Text
Sugar Pink Liquor, Liquor Lips | V + NV
When: June 20th, 2021
Where: Circle Bar ; Vanessa's Penthouse
Warnings: Alcohol, Vomiting, Angst, Pregnancy mention (no, no one's pregnant)
Featuring: @niklausvondra
Texts from Circle Bar
Vanessa:
I know you hate meeee but I'm drunk rn
niklaus:
I don't hate you and why are you drunk?
Vanessa:
I’m celebrating!!!
I did a great thing again
niklaus:
Well glad to know that you're willing to text me drunk
but I don't hate you--my sister on the other hand
Vanessa:
I’d text you sober but like it’s complicated
I know I’m the treacherous slut
it’s why we can’t be together which isn’t fair but you know I’ll wait for you in the next life if you still like me
niklaus:
You're not a treacherous slut
there's just bad blood and nicole needs to get over it
You really think we will meet again in the next life?
Vanessa:
I am, Nick. That’s what I’ve always been. And she can tryy but she will always see me as the monster okay?
yeah, but!!!!! You gotta find me in the next life this time okay?
niklaus:
listen, Nicole is grown woman and it’s been years if she can’t get over it, then you move on. You have a company and better friends
Yes, I’ll find you
Vanessa:
that means I lose you too
I wish we were in our new lives right now, I bet it’s better. We’d be happy
niklaus:
news flash, I am my own person. If you cut ties with Nicole for good then you won’t lose me
Who knows, life could be cruel
Vanessa:
you promise???
life without you is crueler
niklaus:
yeah
Vanessa:
I almost did something stupid and my friends would’ve been so upset with me
niklaus:
what did you do
Vanessa:
well I did it anyways
I drank more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
niklaus:
oh my god
why am I not surprised
you do realize you’re going to be hating yourself in the morning, right?
Vanessa:
I knowww
I gotta numb the existential dread somehow
can you pick me up? I promise I won't puke or hit on you
niklaus:
Where are you
Vanessa:
I'm at Circle bar
niklaus:
awesome, I’m down the road at a friends. I’ll be there in ten mins
Vanessa:
Okayyyyy
thank you nick
Nessa sat outside the bar in the waiting area and because of her charm, she made friends with the bouncer who kept her drunk self safe until Nick arrived. Of course, she was trying her hardest not to completely pass out when she perked up at the familiar green eyes and lop-sided dimpled grin. "Niiick!" She drawled out excitedly. "I'm so glad you're here!"
niklaus vondra.
After leaving a friends home, the disappointment in their eyes as he left made him chuckle, making way over to where Vanessa was at he walked along the side walk and saw her sitting there, he nodded his head. “I said I would come and grab you, I have an Uber waiting,” he held out his hands for her to take.
Vanessa grinned as she took his hands with a big smile. "My hero!!" She said with drunken excitement. "D'you know what? I left the fuzzy tiara that one of the really super nice bachelorettes gave to me. I'm so gutted but I can't go back," She rambled. "Also, I'm a bit tired."
niklaus vondra.
”You look hammered,” nick smiled and helped her up, reaching up to lightly pat down her hair and held out his arm. “We’ll get you some food and tuck you right into bed. Then you should be good to go.” He reached to hold onto her and lead them away from the entrance.
“Yes, yes I am,” She retorted. “I wanted to be hammered and railed but that didn’t work out. The gal had a jealous boyfriend. Who knew?” Nessa giggled as she took Nick’s arm and stumbled alongside him. “Ooh I really want bagels, are there any bagel shops open this hour, you think?”
niklaus vondra.
Nick swallowed down the jealousy, reminding himself he had no right and that he was just coming from one of his ‘friends’ places before getting her. “That lad is probably cheating on the side if he allowed you to flirt with him,” he pointed out and laughed, “Bagels? I highly doubt it.”
Vanessa looked over at Nick and laughed. "No no no, silly. I was hitting on his girlfriend and she flirted right on back and even held my face and called me a goddess but the lad got a bit butt hurt because I might've gotten her a bit flustered," She drunkenly rambled with the brightest smile. "Ugh. I wanted a bagel. What should we go eat, Niklaus?"
niklaus vondra.
”Oh, now that makes more sense, no wonder….” He thought out loud and laughed, “should’ve offered a threesome, a win for all three people.” opening the door and assisting her into the Uber. “We can always grab in and out?”
"It does, doesn't it?" Nessa giggled at the thought for a moment and sighed. "I don't like sharing, that's the issue. I've tried it before, it didn't work out," She shrugged and carefully slid into the Uber. "Hmmm, okay. Burgers sound great right about now, yeah?"
niklaus vondra.
”Really? I find it all the more fun,” he shrugged, but that was most likely due to enjoying the attention on both ends. He often wondered if it was due to his disorder or the fact he craved attention and wanted to try something different. “burgers and fries? Yes.”
"Well, that's 'cos you're you," Nessa poked at Nick's chest with a smirk. She then followed up with, "I just like the attention on me and I know the other person won't give me their full attention. So if it's just me and the other person, I'll command attention easier. Plus...makes the escape easier in the morning." She let out a small sigh and rested her head on Nick's shoulders. "Burgers and fries sound amaaazing! We used to do that all the time, remember?"
niklaus vondra.
Nick laughed, he remembered vaguely of her always wanting attention, especially in the bedroom but he wasn’t about to make that commentary. “Are we going to take a walk down memory lane?” He laughed and asked the driver if he could stop by in and out. He tried to not show affection towards her, to make it easier on both of them, but it was getting hard with her touching him and trusting him.
A giggle bubbled up from Vanessa as she said, "Well why not? I'm drunk and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic on the mention of In N Out. Besides, it's been years since I've last gone." There came the first admission there. Now the logical part of her wanted to sit up straight and shut up and opt to just go home, but between the mixed alcohol and her own emotions, things were bound to spill out of her. "Just humor me for a moment, will you?"
niklaus vondra.
Niklaus shakes his head and slowly caved in, “Fine…but just so you know, once we start bringing up embarrassing memories, I’m out.” He joking said as he pulled out his phone to see messages, ones he didn’t want to look at nor respond too, placing it back into his pocket, Nick glanced over at Nessa.
"I promise, no embarrassing stories, we'd have to mutually be drunk for that one," Nesssa pointed with a knowing grin. "Do you remember..." She began and then hiccuped, "Do you remember when we would sneak out at times just to get ice cream at that one parlour?"
niklaus vondra.
Nick laughed at the memory, “Yeah, I should have known you would be a bad influence,” he teased, “I do remember the sweetness of the ice cream that I don’t think I could eat today.”
"Me? A bad influenceeee? Poppycock! You were the one that convinced me to start sneaking out," Nessa nudged Nick with a cheeky grin. "Wait, really??? D'you lose your sweet tooth?"
niklaus vondra.
He laughed at her, “Oh please, one time and you’re a goner since then.” He shake his head toward, flashing her a lopsided smile and shrugged. “Taste buds change as you get older.”
"One time? Now you're definitely bluffing! You always pitched the sneaking around to get ice cream until I caught on!" She shot a look over towards him. Her own smile matching his lopsided grin...she missed that smile and all she wanted to do was kiss that smile, but luckily, she still had that sense to hold her back. "What do you prefer now?"
niklaus vondra.
”I think it’s a tie between crepes and lemon squares.” He admitted, it was wild to think he once had a sweet tooth and now, now it was like he didn’t care much for it, he placed it on it being an age thing but maybe once she left things just tasted bitter.
“Ooh very Parisian! You’ve got a bit of a tart tongue. I like that.” Nessa giggled as she went to reach for Nick’s hand, mostly to play with his long fingers. Any little detail or thing kept the drunken designer curious. “It’s your turn to say a memory and don’t say you don’t remember ‘cos it’s repressed. None of our experiences together was traumatic—well until the end. That’s definitely a bit fuzzy.”
niklaus vondra.
Nick smiled, “what can I say, if life is going to be bitter, at least make it bittersweet.” He shrugged, at least that was the motto he was going for in the least. As she played with his fingers, he didn’t pull away and allowed her to distract herself but when she asked to mention a memory, he stayed silent. He wanted to play it off, wanted to make some silly joke but knew that would be impossible. “I guess…when we were trying to reach Nicole how to drive and she almost killed us,” he decided to bring up.
“I like that motto,” Nessa beamed excitedly. “Reminds me of that one song…a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. It’s bittersweet,” she nodded in agreement. She continued to play with his fingers, paying attention to every detail. It almost felt like a flashback to years ago. When he spoke again, she looked up to him and she giggled. “Oh bloody hell, that was terrifying. The way she slammed on the brakes and we went lurching forward. I’m surprised the seat belt didn’t strangle us!” She responded incredulously. “I miss those days.”
niklaus vondra.
Nick softly laughed, “Yeah and to think she got her licenses,” he let out a sigh and nodding his head. “They were good memories, but I have hope that one day things can go back to normal or at least everyone make up.”
"Oh my god, right? That's a miracle that she did, but I'm glad she did," Nessa giggled and let out her own sigh. "They were!! Wait really, you do?" She looked over at him. "What makes you so sure?"
niklaus vondra.
”I think at some point you just grow up and learn to forgive what you’ve done in the past. I mean it can be a lot to come to forgiving and I know my sister, she will come around maybe not right now but she will.” Niklaus held hope for Nicole to get over the past, especially after finding out the actual reason and perhaps get on good terms with Vanessa again. He knew that their breakup hurt Nicole a lot and he hated the fact it was because of his selfish reasons.
“Hmmmm, I’d say that makes sense yeah. She’s a bit stubborn but, she’s still got a good heart. It’ll take her a bit…when she’s ready. She knows where to find me so we can cry together,” Nessa pointed out with the most bubbliest giggle. It was a laugh that reminded her of her younger self for a moment but she shook off the thought. “By the way…I do have something to confess ‘cos there was this wild scandal of me and a pregnancy test and bloody hell, everyone thought I was expecting and d’you know what? I wasn’t! Trixie, actually had a pregnancy scare from her ex back in college. The paps spun it to a whole different thing, though.”
niklaus vondra.
Hearing her ramble, he had a soft smile on his face, it felt like old times when she was drunk and he was of course taking care of her. But hearing the confession had him stiffen, he remembered seeing the tabloid and did something completely stupid but he later found out why he made impulsive decisions. “oh…so that’s what that was…here I thought you got knocked up, guess it would’ve been better to ask you than assume.”
Nessa could feel Nick's body freeze up for a moment while she played with his fingers, so carefully, she linked her fingers with his and looked up towards him. She was crossing that line to comfort him. "Nuh-uh. Never ever. My career was just taking off, I couldn't do that, you know? Funny part is, I had just gotten my IUD implanted like days ago and I had to release those forms to the press. That was probably the most violated I ever felt in the spotlight, but you know," She shrugged.
niklaus vondra.
Nick nodded his head, he remembered that night clearly, recalled the tabloid days later and the sense of regret but now he just came to terms with everything. He was fine with being by himself, it was less of a hassle. He wondered if he would ever want a family, he didn’t exactly have the best role models but at least he could be the best uncle. “Tabloids would do that to you…I’m sorry you had to go through that by yourself.”
Nessa didn't bother mentioning the other specifics as to why she had the IUD because of her crazy obsessive ex who tried to anchor her down, she was far too drunk to care about that. However, she didn't see herself much of a motherly figure, especially after practically raising her little brother. The thought of motherhood terrified her...the thought of stopping her career for motherhood was even more terrifying. "They doooo sadlyyyy. Don't worry, I gave them another thing to talk about a week later when I dumped my ex during fashion week. I sound so jaded, I swear!"
niklaus vondra.
Nick couldn’t help but to laugh at her response, it appeared that nothing rarely ever stops her from reaching her full potential each and every time. “I mean, without that passion, you wouldn’t have made it to where you are.” He pointed out, “besides, nothing screams revenge than being successful.”
A giggle bubbled up from her lips and she sighed, “Ah, I’d ‘spose you’re right. All that passion became success and that was my most righteous revenge.” She sighed once more, “It sucks, sometimes. Cos everyone waits for me to fuck up. It adds this immense amount of pressure, you know?…I miss talking about these things with you. Our fears, our hopes, our accomplishments. I have to be bloody drunk to get all of this out of my system ‘cos my sober self would just…put up a wall.”
niklaus vondra.
He realized that he too missed these sort of talks himself, he once tried to hold a conversation like this with his sister but instead it turned more into a lecture. With Vanessa, it was a soothing moment where she didn’t second guess his choices and he didn’t with hers. “It’s okay, sometimes we are too afraid to admit things, alcohol just seems to enjoy bringing all that forth.”
Vanessa nodded in agreement to Nick. “Yes it does. Very much so!! So…I do believe it’s your turn again,” She giggled, wiggling her eyebrows. That was the dynamic she loved and missed between them two. There was no questioning, there was no judgement. There was, instead, encouragement and calm. It was what she missed the most with Nick.
niklaus vondra.
”My turn for what?” He jokingly said before stopping to hear the driver announced they were there to order, “what did you want again?” He asked Vanessa, his window rolled down to place an order.
“Ah ah ah, don’t play coy with me, Niklaus,” Nessa playfully scolded until they arrived to In N Out. “Hmmm I want a hamburger with fries and a sprite, pleaseeee,” she said with the cutest smile.
niklaus vondra.
Nick ordered their order and they went back to waiting in line, “Anyways, do you plan on going back to Paris for that fashion week or did it past? I feel like there’s always fashion week somewhere. Unless I’m just clueless.” He laughed, he knew that it was due to him not being able to stay on one subject for long, he kept the window down to breath in the cool air.
“Perhaps…it’s not until October and you know Santa Monica loves to go all out for Halloween. I’d have to see, but if I doooo, I’ll be sure to take pictures….or you know perhaps sober me will be on better terms with you and we could go,” Nessa drunkenly offered with a smile. “You’re not clueless at all, I’m glad that you keep up!” She beamed excitedly. “Ugh it feels so nice outside. I might fall asleep on the balcony when I make it back home.”
niklaus vondra.
”We are not letting you pass out on the balcony…that’s very dangerous,” he stated very firmly, the thought of her accidentally hurting herself or something worse. “We can leave the window open for you while you rest, I’ll stay until you are sleep talking, how about that?”
Her eyes widened at Nick’s quick assertion and she shrugged. “There’s a futon sofa I always collapse on that’s there, I never go near the edge,” She sighed, knowing there’d be no arguing with him in her state. “Okay, on one condition though. You have to play with my hair like you used to do when I was drunk to help me sleep.”
niklaus vondra.
Nick couldn’t help but to laugh at her demand, “fine, I’ll do just that so you can sleep. But please don’t puke, cleaning up after puke is the worse.” He jokingly stated, lightly caressed her hand in his and lightly patted the back of her hand.
“I won’t, don’t worry. It’s been a very very verryyyy long time since that’s happened. I think when the window opened it would’ve hit,” Nessa giggled. “Why are you so to me after all these years?” she asked as she rested her head on his shoulder again.
niklaus vondra.
Sometimes he wished that he didn’t have to speak, but here she was, asking questions in which he tried to divert everything. He didn’t have it in him to deny her the answers nor had it in him to even be remotely mean to her. “I’m not a complete dick head as to what people seem to believe I am.”
Nessa being Nessa always asked the hard questions whether she was sober or completely drunk off her ass. She wanted to know and dive deeper as to why Nick treated her so well even after all this time. She shook her head and sighed, “Nooo, that’s not what I mean! You’ve always been sweet, despite what anyone says. I just don’t get why now. I’d think you know, you’d hate sober me by now. I mean, well, me. ‘Cos I’m not the little princess I was and you fell for that one…well—“ she paused for a moment and then said, “At least I think you did. I dunno. Nicole said I was delulu about it.”
niklaus vondra.
”Delulu? Are you trying to say delusional?” He asked amused as hell with her drunk talk, the driver drove off once he got the food and he grabbed the bag, handing out food for her and looked at her, “if Nicole said those, you do realize she was just saying that to hurt you, surprised you haven’t noticed since you two were once so close.”
“Yeah! That word!!!” She giggled, shaking her head. Her eyes lit up at the food and she did an excited wiggle when she took the burger and carefully opened it up to take a bite. “I know she did, but I just wanted to know, since you know…we never got to say it. Tragic, innit?” She took another bite of her burger and sighed.
niklaus vondra.
Nick took a piece of fry and chewed on it, “Ness…why do you keep bringing up the past?” He asked, “I thought you moved on?” Maybe he was hoping she moved on, wanted her to not be stuck on him, he was nothing compared to the empire she grew. He had his own demons he had to deal with but it was a never ending battle for himself.
“Because it came back,” Nessa said as she took another bite. She wound up wrapping it back up as the question sank deeper. “I can’t let my past haunt me, so I ask questions so I can sleep at night. Soooo, if this is you’re way of saying you’ve moved on, then you know, we can be done with it and I can walk home,” She responded rather stubbornly. At this point, she wasn’t sure if she’d make it home walking but, the question stung. “I have moved on. Multiple times. Neither of them worked out as you can see. Thanks for the bloody reminder,” she huffed.
niklaus vondra.
He knew he should have kept his mouth shut but seeing her acting like this, it made him realize that they both were hurting. Just finding ways to cope differently, but almost similar. “I’m not saying it to get you feeling guilty or anything, it’s just…every time I see you intoxicated, you bring up the past. I don’t want to see you stuck in the past…as for you doing things multiple times…it just means you have shit taste in people.”
The logical side of Nessa knew two things, one, both of them were experiencing a nostalgic type of hurt and two, he was right. And even then, the drunk and incredibly stubborn side of her couldn’t see reason. “Because I’m drunk, Niklaus and the only thing I remember from us, is the past we have no present! So excuse meee for getting nostalgic but I’m not bound to the past,” She spat out. At his next comment she could feel the tears burning her eyes. It was true…but it didn’t hurt any less. She got quiet afterwards and unlinked their hands to wipe the tears that began falling. “Just drop me off here. I’ll walk. I don’t care how far I am, I’ll walk until I make it home. I’ll figure it out, I always do.”
niklaus vondra.
Nick silently cursed, the driver meeting his eyes in the review mirror, in which he shook his head as looked outside to see they were getting close to her place. “I’m not letting you walk home alone, especially at night.” He stated firmly, maybe he was stubborn but he would be stricken with worry of the idea something happening to Vanessa.
Nessa simply glared at Nick through her tears and didn’t say another word. She simply turned her body towards her own window. The drunken angry tears just kept coming and she kept sitting there stubbornly wiping them away and trying to even out her breathing. Sure, she was acting like her typical drunken primadonna self, but what he said really did hurt.
niklaus vondra.
Nick felt his high leave, and felt sobriety kicking in, in which something he wished he didn’t have to feel. But he did feel guilty for snapping at her like that, seeing her wipe away her tears stubbornly, Nick sighed as he placed all the food back into the bag and felt the car stop. He muttered thanks to the driver and go out to follow after Vanessa when he knew fully well she would tell him to leave her alone.
As soon as the car came to a stop and she heard the car doors unlock, Nessa stumbled out of the car and to her penthouse building as she continued wiping tears and stifling her sobs as she took a hold of the door. She could hear Nick’s footsteps behind her. She gripped onto the door handle mostly to hold her balance as she sobbed out loud now. “Leave me alone!” She could feel the anger rising in her chest, “It wasn’t my fault that you all pretended to love me!” She turned around, the anger and hurt apparent in her eyes as the purple stained tears continued to fall. “I’m put together again. I’m not broken. Yeah, I wanted to know why you hurt me and yet, you do it again! What did I ever do to you?!” She asked, stumbling towards him and poking at his chest. “I did nothing to you! I did nothing!!!”
niklaus vondra.
Nick held onto the food, he allowed her to lash out at him, he knew that she needed to get this off her chest. Yet he also knew, no he wanted her to hate him, maybe some part of him thinks he deserves it. He was the one to ask the questions, piss on her effort to fix things between them. So many maybes running through his head. “Did I say you were broken Vanessa? Fuck sakes, I just asked a simple question because you kept bringing up memories—which exactly what they were—memories.” His voice raising as he matched the same energy with her, Niklaus could feel those emotions he struggled to keep back, but seeing her like this…accusing him of not loving her, it pained him. “I moved on—I thought ‘oh we can be friends, it won’t hurt anyone’ but clearly we can’t even do that!”
Vanessa shook her head, "No, you said I just picked shitty people and I didn't pick to be heartbroken so many times! I never chose that, I never wanted that. You asked a simple question and I gave you a simple little answer and that was because that's all we have! We don't have anything else but memories!" She could feel her voice going hoarse from yelling, or was it from the crying, or maybe the alcohol. She couldn't remember, but all she could feel was this immense amount of anger. This is why she couldn't get drunk...she was far too vulnerable. "You can't be friends with people you hurt until you can be brave enough to face that you've hurt them and you can't even do that! You just fucking run!" She echoed right on back. She was going to make another statement until she felt her mouth water and she took a breath turned around, walked a few steps, towards the bushes, and puked.
niklaus vondra.
He was about to say something back when he saw her run off and the sound of puking made him wince. He knew that was going to kick her in the ass tomorrow. Sighing as he walked over towards her and set the bag down beside him and grabbed her hair, while rubbing her back with the other hand. “Vanessa, let me get you inside.”
All it took was emotions for her to get sick, how lovely, she thought to herself. She was just lucky enough to not have done it in front of Nick or on her outfit, at least. Even then just as she finished, she felt a hand take her hair to hold it back from it getting gross and a soothing back rub. As much as Vanessa wanted to protest stubbornly, she sighed. "Okay...fine," She said hoarsely as she lifted her head up pitifully and carefully reached over to the bag to grab a napkin to wipe her chin with a saddened look.
niklaus vondra.
He felt a small smile appear on his face at her defeat, he nodded his head and helped her up, walking them toward inside. “Okay, c’mon…”he said softly, his voice almost a whisper but deep enough, Niklaus could feel the urge to comfort her but the idea of taking advantage of her under the influence didn’t sit right with him. But he knew he wouldn’t be able too when sober. Once they reached inside, he helped her toward her bedroom, setting the bag onto the counter.
Nessa followed Nick inside, holding onto him to steady herself and keep herself from falling. It was a struggle, but she would make it there soon. It was a strange comfort knowing Nick was still there despite hurting each other’s feelings just moment ago. Once they made it inside her apartment and to her bedroom, she sprawled across the bed. “Thank you…” she muttered.
niklaus vondra.
He chuckled as he took her shoes off and nodded his head, “I wasn’t going to let you stay passed out in the streets, I’m not a complete dickhead.” He said and placed the shoes down nearby, helping her get comfortable before grabbing a trash bin and set it beside the bed. He got up to go into the kitchen to grab water and a bottle of pain meds before sitting down at the edge and pat her leg. “Okay, you should be set for the morning, garbage near you and water right on the night stand along with meds.”
Vanessa let out a rather dry chuckle and shook her head tiredly, "You could have and I wouldn't have blamed you." She watched Nick from taking off her shoes and getting the pain meds for her and water, and it didn't click to her as to why he was so nice to her, even after hurting her...even after she hurt him. She didn't say anything at first when he came back and told her the game plan, she just gazed at him, blinking slowly. She wanted to bring up the hair thing, but finally the sober part of her held her tongue in that aspect, which made the drunk part of her tear up again. She quietly nodded and curled up towards her blankets and turned away from him.
niklaus vondra.
He watched her turn away from him, a small sigh escaped his lips, he tried to say something—anything to make the matters less terrible then where they were at now. But words were said and he was at his limit from becoming a complete douche. “Feel better in the morning,” he said softly and stood up from the mattress, grabbing the food from the counter to place in the fridge.
There was a moment where part of her wanted to tell him to wait, but the other part wanted to tell him to fuck off. She was caught in between the two, but managed to softly mumble out a "thank you", as she sniffled lightly, making it clear she was still upset...but holding on strongly to her pride.
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hooliainprague-blog · 7 years ago
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galway, ireland
22.3.2018
I woke up at 6:30 to inhale three croissants and some cheese and go to the airport. Prague airport is really weird because you check in, go through passport control, go through all the shopping, and then you sit in the terminal and wait until about an hour before your flight before going through security. I also think that lemon Pepsi will be my new “waiting for a flight” drink because it’s so good and the only place I’ve seen it so far is in the airport. 
Upon arrival in Dublin, I got some water and a vegetable and mozzarella “toastie” (hehe) and went to find my bus to Galway. I’ve already noticed so many differences between Prague and Ireland and I’ve been here for less than an hour.
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After the three hour ride to Galway, I met Alyssa at the bus station and we basically went straight to dinner.
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Galway is the third largest city in Ireland, but it really has a small town vibe more than a city one because there’s only about 75,000 people. It’s perfect.  For dinner I had chicken kiev, and it was delicious and full of garlic. I also tried “brown sauce” for the first time. I dipped some fries in it, and it tastes like if you mixed a teeny tiny bit of ketchup into a lot of apple cider vinegar....I stole some packets to take back to Prague. AND the water was free and cold. 
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There’s so many cute little canals and rivers and waterways around Alyssa’s apartment (which is the nicest student apartment I’ve ever seen, might I add).
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When we got back, Alyssa did my makeup for fun, we relaxed for a while after my journey, and then we went out for drinks in some Irish pubs. We jumped around for a while listening to a bunch of different live music (which is so lighthearted and fun and in every bar).
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By the time we made it out of the apartment, the live music scene was winding down, so we walked around Galway at night. We saw some beautiful things and had a great time. We also got some BIG pizza!!!
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It was a great first day.
23.3.2018
We ate some bagels for breakfast, and Alyssa took me to her school to show me the campus. It was beautiful, and it was also kinda nice to be on an actual college campus separated from the rest of the city for a little while. 
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We then walked the short distance to the Galway Cathedral, which is the last great stone cathedral to be built in Europe. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to go inside because there was a mass going on when we arrived. 
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We went to Tesco to buy some snacks for the next day, went back to the apartment to drop them off, and walked around town stopping in different stores and showing me the city in the daylight. 
I also got to go into TK Maxx and felt at home a little bit. Miss you, TJ Maxx!!!!!!!
After that, we got some coffee at a cute little coffee shop and ventured home, making a pit stop at the Spanish Arch (sparching: sitting along the water at the arch) and strolled on a part of the Long Walk (thanks to Alyssa and Ang and the entirety of Galway, I can’t type that out or think of Galway at all without thinking of this song, but tbh, I’m not mad about that at all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3V-oXwCWL4).
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We got some garlic bread on the way home, went to take a lil snooze, ate some soup and grilled cheese for dinner, and decided to go out to a bar/pub again after. But first, look how cute this little canal spot is. 
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Here’s a nice picture of me, Alyssa, Ang, and my new pal Katie.
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My first Guinness (both in Ireland and ever)!
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This was a super fun night because the live band was incredible and sang songs we all knew, and there were a couple of Irish girls who made us all dance with them. It was a lighthearted and almost spiritual even. Ethereal, you could say, if you said it in the right tone. 
After we left, we got the most amazing pineapple pizza with ranch dip (the best in Europe!!) and went to bed.
24.3.2018
Surprise, we ate bagels for breakfast again!! We met up with Alyssa’s friend Lauren and we all headed to the coach station to get on our tour bus for the Cliffs of Moher and a few other destinations. 
Our first stop on the bus tour was the Dinguaire Castle from the 16th century.
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Alyssa is good at almost falling.
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We got back on the bus and took some cute cow pictures through the window on our way to our next stop.
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The next stop: Poulnabrone dolmen.
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Next: The Celtic High Crosses. It was unsettling to have to walk and jump over graves to get to them.
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After that, we had a break for lunch in the teeny tiny town of Doolin. I got bangers and mash, which was even better than I imagined. We also had a couple of minutes to go in some small shops and take some pretty pictures. 
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Finally, what we’ve all been waiting for, we arrived at the Cliffs of Moher. I am not exaggerating when I say that the cliffs were the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in Europe so far this semester. We really lucked out with this beautiful warm sunny day considering Ireland is usually at least cloudy if not rainy and windy. My words don’t do the cliffs justice, and the pictures barely do either. 
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You know we had to give my mom a heart attack (don’t worry, I was actually standing on a ledge, sorry to ruin the illusion).
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OK here’s the cutest little wet floor sign in the bathroom at the bottom. I’m obsessed.
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Our final stop on the journey back to Galway included a stop on the Burren where the ground looks like the surface of the moon.
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When we finally got back, we were chilly and tired, so we got some pasta from Pasta Factory and went back to the apartment to eat that and cookies. We were going to lay down for a bit and get up to do something else, but we ended up crashing at like 8:30 pm. I don’t blame us, it was a long day on the bus.
25.3.2018
We woke up after a long night of sleep even though we lost an hour for Daylight Savings, and we went to walk around town in the morning waiting for brunch places to open. How CUTE IS THIS PLACE?!
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I’d been craving pancakes and bacon and a smoothie for as long as I can remember, so thank gosh for this delicious place. I’m getting hungry again just looking at this picture.
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Alyssa then walked me to the coach station and we said our goodbyes. I got to get on a bus an hour earlier than what I paid for because my flight was scheduled to leave earlier than I thought it would. I’m grateful for the kindness of Irish men who work for this bus company. The three hour ride was fine and seamless, but the Dublin airport is one of the most stressful ones I’ve been in so far. I’m glad I got there earlier. It was a long day of traveling, but it didn’t feel like it because everything was fine and Ireland is beautiful.
My last picture I took in Dublin, Ireland before getting on the plane home to Prague (miss you sweetie). 
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I think that if I had the opportunity to study abroad again after Prague, I would choose somewhere in Ireland. It was so fun, relaxing, beautiful, and full of nature and nice people. 
Differences between Ireland and Prague:
Everyone I encountered in Ireland in the first hour of me being there has been incredibly kind, even when their jobs are typically those who get negatively stereotyped as being miserable, such as passport control, bus drivers, fast food stops in airports, etc. 
They drive on the other side of the road. I knew it when I booked the flights, but it’s a weird concept to see in real life. 
A total stranger asked me to use my charger on the bus and then called me a “fine woman” when I said she could. People in Prague don’t even look at me!!
Night life is so pure and good. There’s live music everywhere and everyone is happy to be there and everyone dances with everybody. 
Alyssa’s school has a designated campus. My school in Prague is extremely integrated into the city, while hers feels like a separate community in a way.
Prague uses bars as social gathering points to sip on beer and talk to old friends, while Ireland uses bars and pubs as places to drink a lot and dance with new friends. Both are great!
They all speak English, and I love the Czech language and I think I’m picking up some phrases relatively well, but it is so refreshing to hear English everywhere.
I’ll be back, Ireland!
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littlelovelymemes · 8 years ago
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✰ * º ❛ you’re the worst sentence starters. ❜
‘  who knows their own address?  ’ ‘  are we feminists? is this feminism?  ’ ‘  i’m not a sidekick! i’m beyonce, not kelly rowland.  ’ ‘  your cockaholism may just be about the least important thing in the world to me right now.  ’ ‘  i wouldn’t call 10 a.m. ‘really early’.  ’ ‘  cool! let’s add cocaine to the butt stuff.  ’ ‘  you can’t leave! i love you!  ’ ‘  do you even know what love means?  ’ ‘  now go make me some bagel bites.  ’ ‘  love isn’t about having somebody get you things. love is putting someone else’s feelings above your own. do you think you could ever do that? honestly?  ’ ‘  do i look like a fitbit? i don’t give a shit about your sleep.  ’ ‘  why are you yelling at me? what are you doing in my house?  ’ ‘  i need you to act like a human person and pick up your damn phone when i call your skank ass!  ’ ‘  you know, after i cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.  ’ ‘  did you wear your booby shirt?  ’ ‘  if i don’t get a night off soon, i think my liver is gonna slide out of my body.  ’ ‘  i’m peeing blood and i briefly forgot the word for telephone.  ’ ‘  you’re right. she’s gonna hate me.  ’ ‘  you think i’m an unfriendly treacherous mountain?  ’ ‘  we’re adults! we can do this ourselves.  ’ ‘  you’re losing your hair.  ’ ‘  practicing what? dying alone?  ’ ‘  i told the spice girls i was dying in order to get free concert tickets.  ’ ‘  i learned blue balls were a myth when i was 12.  ’ ‘  i’m not much of a cleaner.  ’ ‘  you’re not much of a human!  ’ ‘  did you slither out of your mothers cooch yesterday?  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i finally made a new friend and i tried to bang her the first time we hung out.  ’ ‘  no offense, but you’re kind of making my skin crawl.  ’ ‘  i’m not comfortable about feelings.  ’ ‘  aren’t we lucky we’re both in professions where we can day drink?  ’ ‘  i’m glad this is a one-night thing so we can reveal all this awful shit about ourselves.  ’ ‘  what do you mean you watch tv on your computer?  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m doing here. i’m not even attracted to you.  ’ ‘  you two are poison people. this is gonna end so badly.  ’ ‘  if you wanna go, just go.  ’ ‘  why can’t you just let this be over?  ’ ‘  you and i, we’re inevitable.  ’ ‘  move in with me.  ’ ‘  i just humiliated myself by accepting your non-marriage proposal, i cannot now move in with you.  ’ ‘  you’re just doing this as a hail mary because you know you’re about to lose me for good.  ’ ‘  what i have finally realized is that the worst possible draft of my life is the one without you in it. i hate it, but you goddamn floor me.  ’ ‘  oh shit... we’re gonna do this even though we know there is only one way this ends. whether in a week or twenty years, there is horrible sadness and pain coming in and we’re inviting it.  ’ ‘  she stayed! you say she forced you, but we both know there’s not a person on this planet who’s ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything. she stayed and that means something whether you wanna admit it or not.  ’ ‘  i’m not doing anything... i’m crying in my car.  ’ ‘  don’t start keeping secrets now.  ’ ‘  the only thing i need from you is to not make a big deal with it and be okay with how i am and the fact that you can’t fix me.  ’ ‘  no, i’m mad at you because you think you can fix me! you can’t fix me! i don’t need to be fixed!  ’ ‘  it’s like you have amnesia. every day you think things are gonna be different.  ’ ‘  maybe you can understand this: i feel nothing.  ’ ‘  i’ll be back in a couple of days.  ’ ‘  you stayed? ...you stayed!  ’ ‘  you just said ‘boyfriend.’  ’ ‘  i understand that my actions could lead you to feel a bit unwelcome and i’ll work on not being such a control freak.  ’ ‘  i’m done comparing this to what normal people do.  ’ ‘  normal people are terrible.  ’ ‘  when i look at you, i swear i can see years years into the future with you.  ’ ‘  ...i love you too.  ’ ‘  i’ve just heard that you’re the worst.  ’ ‘  i tricked him into giving me back rubs, saying it made me horny.  ’ ‘  obviously, i thought it was, like, boring as shit.  ’ ‘  clearly you used to jack off to hemingway in high school.  ’ ‘  i’m an irresponsible monster who burned down her apartment with a vibrator.  ’ ‘  if there is even a remote possibility of breakfast and you don’t wake me up, i will never touch your dick again with any part of my body.  ’ ‘  jokes on you, dummy, i’m already horny.  ’ ‘  oh my god! that is so sexist and mansplain-y.  ’ ‘  if ‘i love you’ is like a promise, it’s just a promise to try real hard. doesn’t mean you can’t fail.  ’ ‘  i shit myself earlier and that is only the second most embarrassing thing that has happened to me today.  ’ ‘  you knew who i was, you don’t get to act surprised now.  ’ ‘  bam! carpe those diems!  ’ ‘  i have to gone girl myself and start over where nobody knows me.  ’ ‘  i’m going to have a baby.  ’ ‘  i just want my kids to be sad when i die.  ’ ‘  i didn’t want to kill him. i just snapped!  ’ ‘  i feel guilty because of how much he suffered... and because you stabbed him on purpose.  ’ ‘  you’re so getting murdered.  ’ ‘  i can’t tell him my brain is broken.  ’ ‘  don’t stalk me again because you suck at it.  ’ ‘  back off, bitch.  ’ ‘  don’t go.  ’ ‘  i got your back, always.  ’ ‘  you might not be useful in the radish sense, but you’re a good friend and you make people happy.  ’ ‘  when i get back, you’re going to take me to a real bar and feed me cheap whiskey until i forget about that time i stopped being able to have sex with my boyfriend ever again because he took me to a bar that only served water!  ’ ‘  so, would you say it’s a... problem-free philosophy? it’s like... no worries for the rest of your days?  ’ ‘  did you just quote the lion king to me?  ’ ‘  hey, um, so listen... i think you’re funny and cute and i’d like to take you on  a date with me for a date.  ’ ‘  why did you put a murder tour on your list?  ’ ‘  you even quit a rewards club because you couldn’t handle the commitment.  ’ ‘  wear your stains on the outsides of your clothes.  ’ ‘  see? dogs eat nachos.  ’ ‘  hey, that’s your best garbage bag. you going somewhere?  ’ ‘  i’ll be out by the time you get back. have fun, you deserve it... whoever she is.  ’ ‘  red licorice vodka?  ’ ‘  send money, loser!  ’ ‘  and you date him... willingly.  ’ ‘  my heart is a dumb dumb.  ’ ‘  i’ve always been able to flip myself back over eventually, but... i ran out of times. this is how i am now and it’s not okay with you, nor should it be.  ’ ‘  i suppose it’s good that this happened now, instead of like, ten years down the line.  ’ ‘  the world is absolutely lousy with people and i hate them all. i hate everyone but you.  ’ ‘  what the hell is wrong with us?  ’ ‘  let’s make a pact never to feel anything around each other ever again.  ’ ‘   i’ve never eaten a blueberry.  ’ ‘   i’ve always had one foot out the door. with everything. especially with us.  ’ ‘   so, you might just suddenly bounce out of here?  ’ ‘  can we just... bail?  ’ ‘  you’ve had a little too much to drink, didn’t you, buddy?  ’
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ghostsinthewoods · 8 years ago
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Chapter Five: Burnt Out
(DISCLAIMER: The writer of the fan fiction (Or, 'Fan Fic') has never indulged in the use of cannabis. As such, any depictions of drug use should be taken with a grain of salt. The author has done research, but it kind of a big sheltered dummy who doesn't know how bongs work.)
Mae had begun to recline on the couch in Dr. Feldman's office. The sun was peeking in through the window's shutters, creating little bars of light on the floor. Mae had been in the office long enough to see the bars shift and move a bit.
"So, anyway, the next day, I woke up at, like, four or five," Mae said. "For breakfast, I had, like, some sort of bagel thing. My mom was reading a book about this dude who ate his own legs."
"Mae," Dr. Feldman said, "I feel like you're giving me way too many details. Are you trying to avoid telling me what happened when you smoked weed?"
Mae frowned. "If I just jump right into what happened, you might get confused. I'm, like, building up to it."
"You spent five minutes describing what happened when you drank your first beer," Dr. Feldman said. "You've been talking for forty minutes. And, while I'm glad you're opening up to me, I'm not sure why you kept adding all of that foreshadowing about your senior prom."
Ugh. Some people had no appreciation for good storytelling.
"Fine," Mae said. "So, like an hour later, Gregg and I went out to the Food Donkey…"
"… And he ate the whole thing! Like, right there in the store!"
Gregg was grinning like a madman as he recounted his work day to Mae. The hike out to the old Food Donkey hadn't taken too long. Time with Gregg seemed to go by fast like that. It was weird. Before too long, they were outside the former heart of hometown.
Mae always felt sad when she was here. It seemed like just yesterday that the Food Donkey had been buzzing with shoppers and jaded teens. Now, it was just a big, dead thing in the middle of a big, black parking lot.
"I can't believe they make you come into work on Sunday," Mae said.
"They don't make me come in, dude," Gregg pointed out. "I choose to. I need the hours. Plus, Sundays are usually pretty slow. Most folks are, like, at church."
"That means us dirty heathens get all the snacks to ourselves," Mae joked.
The two continued walking. Past the basketball court, around the Food Donkey, and just in front of the old train tracks. The back of the Food Donkey was covered in graffiti of various sorts. Mae recognized some that said 'NUKE POSSUM SPRINGS.'
"Shit," Mae said. "The back somehow smells more like glue than the inside."
"I think a lot of, like, drifters and crusties do drugs back here," Gregg said. "So, like, don't step on a needle or anything."
"Should be fine," Mae said. "I'm wearing boots."
A noise drew their attention to a pair of old, abandoned dumpsters behind the old, abandoned Food Donkey. A thin figure stepped out from behind one of the dumpsters, clad in a dirty, green hoodie.
Whoever it was, they'd apparently heard Mae and Gregg approaching. However, when they saw them, they calmed down and waved. Mae didn't quite understand why they were waving.
However, when Gregg waved back, Mae realized she simply hadn't recognized him.
It was Levy. It had only been two years, but it looked like Levy had aged ten. The dude looked like a trailer park smelled. Somehow, as Mae and Gregg got closer, the smell of glue intensified.
"Hey, Craig," Levy said. He was holding what looked like a cigarette in his right hand. It took Mae a moment to realize it was actually a joint. Mae had never smelled weed before. It smelled gross.
"It's Gregg," Gregg said quickly. He pointed towards Mae. "Do you remember Mae Borowski?"
Levy seemed to take the question into serious consideration. His face twitched a bit, and he lifted the joint to his lips. "Nah, dude," he said. "Sorry."
"I was friends with Casey Hartley," Mae offered. "Plus, I'm pretty sure you and me had homeroom together in junior year."
Levy blinked uncomprehendingly. "Not ringing any bells, man," he said.
Okay, this was getting a little annoying. Had he, like, fried all of the brain cells that contained memories about Mae? That was how brain cells worked, right?
"I put a kid in the hospital," Mae said. She didn't like that she had to dig this out to get him to recognize her. "Remember? Everyone called me Killer behind my back after that."
For a second, Levy's eyes seemed to light up. Sort of. It was a dull, hazy light, but a light nonetheless. After a second, however, the light faded. "No, sorry. I was, like, in and out of it for most of my teen years."
Mae just about threw up her hands in frustration. What was the point of making amends with someone who didn't even recognize you? To her relief, however, Gregg once again came to her rescue. Sort of.
"Remember the kid who puked on their date at senior prom?" He asked.
Once again, Levy's eyes lit up. This time, the realization stayed. "Oh, shit, yeah! That was sick, dude. I mean, I wasn't there when it happened, but you know… I think I heard about it once."
"Okay, you remembered something you weren't actually there for, but you didn't remember the times we actually met?" Mae asked. Levy simply shrugged.
This was getting to be a headache, and Mae hadn't gotten to the making amends part. Ugh. Maybe this whole thing was a huge mistake.
No. No, it was do or die time. If Mae got some closure, maybe everything would stop feeling awful.
"Hey, look," Mae said while Levy puffed on his joint. Her head was feeling a little buzzy. "Levy, I've got something I need to tell you—"
"Are you a cop?" Levy asked suddenly. Mae could only blink in surprise.
"Uh, what?"
"Are you a cop?" Levy asked. "You have to tell me if you're a cop."
"My aunt told me that's not actually true," Mae said. "So, like, the cops can lie about whatever they want. They probably do lie, too."
Levy frowned. "I dunno, man. I read about it online. I trust the internet more than some aunt I've never met."
Something about that comment made Mae's chest hurt. She swallowed the sensation, though. This whole thing was going off the rails. She needed to just clear the air, like, ASAP.
"Okay," Mae said, "so I wanted to apologize for something. Do you remember the party we had in senior year? Up by Possum Leap?"
Levy seemed to be barely paying attention to the conversation. He looked like he was staring right through Mae. The stink of his joint was starting to get to Mae. Gregg stood to Mae's side, his eyes darting back and forth between Mae and Levy.
"Well, during the party," Mae said slowly. "I was in Casey's pickup truck, and you and Beth Holstead were doing it in the back of the truck, and I accidentally hit the parking brake and then you both fell in a creek and everyone saw your butt."
Mae said all of that without taking a breath. When she was done, no one spoke. The atmosphere was tense, and somehow hard to discern. Levy blinked once or twice. His expression didn't change, though he had removed his joint from his lips.
"So, uh… yeah," Mae said. "I really, really wanted to apologize for that."
There was another moment of silence. Mae tried to read Levy's expression, but she couldn't make anything out. At most, he looked kinda sleepy. Mae almost would have liked it better if he'd been fuming and screaming.
Finally, Levy ended the awkward silence and spoke.
"'Kay," Levy said.
For a moment, Mae thought she might have heard wrong. She looked over to Gregg, who simply shrugged in response.
"That's it?" She asked, as if Levy was holding out on her.
The burn out just gave a noncommittal shrug, however, and placed his joint between his lips. "I dunno what else to tell you, man. That party was, like, two years ago. I don't really sweat stuff like that."
That was surprising. What kind of person didn't get hung up over being in a creek with their butt in the air? Well, okay, some people were probably super into that. Levy didn't seem like one of those people. He didn't seem like he was super into anything except, like, sniffing glue.
"Didn't you and Beth break up because of that?" Gregg asked. He didn't seem nearly as confused as Mae about this whole mess.
Levy groaned. "No, dude. We broke up because she cheated on me with Effing Steve Scriggins."
Okay, that at least made sense. Well, not the fact that someone would go for Scriggins, but the fact that Scriggins had ruined something. Judging by the vitriol in Levy's normally mellow voice, it sounded like he and Steve weren't close anymore.
"Well," Gregg said. "I guess that's taken care of."
"Uh, yeah," Mae said. "Well, uh… glad to see you're not upset or anything."
And that was that. Mae figured that she and Gregg would turn, go to the diner, and then go home for the night. The amends had been made. The apology had been done. But then Levy surprised Mae by pulling something out of his pocket.
"Hey, so, I appreciate the apology either way," he said as he offered the object to Mae. "So, you know, you can have this. I've got more back home, and my brother's hooking me up with more later this week."
Mae looked at the tiny wad of paper in Levy's hand uncomprehendingly. She didn't understand what it was at first. When she compared it to Levy's joint, however, she realized what was going on.
"Oh, shit," Mae said. She was being peer pressured. Her mind flashed back to all of the videos about substance abuse they'd watched in health class. This one kid did weed, and then he somehow got eaten by a lion. It was terrifying. She still had nightmares about those videos.
Mae shot a look at Gregg, who had a stupid, mischievous little grin on his face. Apparently, this whole thing was hilarious to him.
"Dude, no," Mae said. "Look, Levy, I don't wanna kill any more of my brain cells."
Levy blinked. "Dude, I'm not asking you to sniff glue. It's just weed. It's, like, harmless."
"What if I get addicted?" Mae asked. "Or, what if I OD?"
Gregg laughed. "Wow, Mae. You need to read up on some stuff," he said.
Levy was beginning to snicker too. Okay, this wasn't funny. Out of the three people in this big, empty parking lot, two of them were laughing at Mae. And one of them was her, do that didn't really work. Whatever.
Mae thought for a second. Gregg said he and Angus had tried weed out, right? And they seemed fine. Well, as fine as usual. On top of that, Mae was almost certain that whatever had aged Levy in the two years she'd been gone, it wasn't weed.
But okay. If these two dinguses were gonna have a chuckle over this, then Mae would give 'em something to chuckle about. She'd make them chuckle real good.
She was gonna weed it up.
And so, Mae smoked a bunch of weed.
Gregg sat off next to one of the dumpsters while he watched Mae light up her joint. It took her a few tries, but eventually she was doing drugs. She felt so mature. Like some cool alt rock girl. Yeah.
Levy had offered Gregg a joint, but he politely decline. Mae was actually kind of impressed. He really was trying to avoid any crimes. Well, mostly. But, still, Gregg was all mature now.
Again, mostly.
Also, the weed he and Angus had smoked last time had been bad. Real bad.
She, Gregg, and Levy sat up against the wall of the Food Donkey. The whole place smelled like glue and weed. It was gross. Mae eventually didn't mind though. Her whole body felt tingly. She felt good.
The three sat in silence for a bit. Three nerds, two joints, lots of garbage.
"So, like," Levy said after a moment. "What made you wanna come outta nowhere and apologize at me?"
Mae laughed. She didn't know why. She just did. "I've got a lot going on in my head," she said. "Like, me and Gregg went through a lotta shit last year."
Gregg blinked. "Um," he said. "Mae, maybe don't talk about the weird shit with Levy."
"Aw, what?" Mae asked. "Levy and me are pals now. We're buds."
"I still don't really know you that well, dude," Levy said. "I mean, you were friends with Casey, right? Me and him hung out before he went missing."
Even if she was starting to feel the weed, the mention of Casey made Mae feel bad. Real bad. She almost wanted to cry. She missed him. A lot. And his stupid dream ghost wouldn't leave her alone.
"Okay, Mae, you've got serious mental issues. Taking mind altering drugs probably wasn't a good idea."
Levy continued speaking. He seemed to be pretending that he hadn't heard the imaginary voice of Casey's dream ghost. "Yeah, he'd been, like, hanging with his cousin, and…" He stopped. "Well, whatever. His cousin was cool. Shame what happened to him."
Mae vaguely remembered something she'd heard last year. Something about Casey's cousin. It was something she hadn't wanted to be true. But, if it was true, it would explain why he'd been hanging with Levy.
No. It wasn't true. Casey had been a troublemaker, but he hadn't been a criminal. Right? Right. Doubting her dead friend wouldn't do Mae any good. It would do Mae the opposite of good.
Ugh. This was garbage.
"So, like…" Mae said slowly. "What do we do? Are we supposed to do something while we're high?"
Levy laughed. "Nah, man. You just chill. Or, like, watch shitty movies. The drugs in and of themselves are the activity."
"No offense, Levy," Mae said. "But that sounds really boring. Is this all you do all day? Just, like, sit around and be drugs?" Mae smacked her lips and leaned against the wall. The sky looked really, really real.
"Yeah," Levy mumbled. He blinked. For some reason, it took him a long time to do it. Which was weird, because things seemed, like, the opposite of slow. Mae could feel her heartbeat all through her body.
"You doing okay, Mae?" A voice asked. It was Gregg. Gregg was talking. GUH-REH-GUH. The man of many G's. The snack knife crime boy.
It was incredible. Gregg looked so real. Like he was right next to Mae. She reached out and rubbed her hand on his face.
"Dude, no," Gregg said. He gently took Mae's hand and pushed it away from his face. Her arm moving felt weird. Lots of stuff felt weird.
Everything was weird and stupid and beautiful. Mae just wanted to hug everyone. If only her heart wasn't beating so fast. Fast. FAS-TUH.
Too fast. So fast. Oh cripes. Oh cripes in heaven, she was going to die. Her heart was going to exploded out of her chest and she'd be eaten by a lion. Mae took in sharp, intense breaths, trying to calm herself down.
"Dude," Levy said. "Dude, chill."
Chill? How could Mae chill? Her thoughts were racing. She was going to die. Probably. Maybe. Maybe she was already dead? Oh god. What if she died that night in the woods, when they had first found the cultists? What if she hadn't woken up from her coma?
But she must have woken up. She'd been awake this whole time. She'd seen life stretch on after that night in the mines. After the cave in. After she'd lead her friends into danger and made them bury a bunch of dudes.
Oh god. Oh, God. They were dead. They were all dead. And she'd killed them. Or, at least, been complicit in killing them.
And one of them was
"I killed my aunt," Mae whispered.
Silence fell over the three of them. Mae turned towards Gregg, and saw him staring at Mae, his mouth hanging open. "Dude," he whispered.
Mae turned towards Levy and saw he was simply confused. Heh. Poor guy didn't know nothing about cults.
Levy looked at the joint Mae was holding in her fingers, and then back at her. "Jeez," he muttered. "Must've given you some bad shit. Sorry, dude."
Mae laughed. That was good Levy's obliviousness was cheering her up. They weren't talking about Casey, who was dead and also a spooky phantom. Also, the whole 'murdering cultists' thing was kinda funny now! Kinda really funny!
"Yeah, I killed the death outta her," Mae laughed. "Her and, like, twelve other guys. You know all the missing person posters been going up? That's me. That's us. They aren't missing, man. We, could, like, go find them."
"Dude, Mae, stop," Gregg said. "We've talked about this."
"My parents put up posters, Gregg!" Mae felt herself just blurt the words out. A sad, bitter laugh escaped her. "My mom organized, like, my entire extended family to try and find Aunt Molly!
"And I had to sit back and watch the whole thing!" Mae laughed again. The smoke from their joints was stinging her eyes. That must have been why she had to blink back her tears. "I couldn't say, 'Oh, hey, she died with a bunch of creepy cultists!'"
Mae could still remember when she'd realized Aunt Molly had gone missing. It was a week after the incident in the mines. Aunt Molly hadn't contacted mom or dad. She hadn't bumped into Mae and given her an earful. But it wasn't until one of the other cops had asked about her that reality sunk in.
In hindsight, it was obvious. She'd been way too dismissive about Mae's story about the kidnapper. In fact, she'd almost seemed to be actively trying to make Mae doubt her own story.
There had been no love lost between the two of them. But, even then, Mae didn't want to believe it.
Not that she had much of a choice.
Levy looked from Mae, to Gregg, to Mae again. Even if he was stoned, he seemed to be able to read the mood. He snubbed his joint out against the blacktop ground and put his hands in his pockets.
"Okay," he said, "I'm not gonna pretend I can wrap my head around any of that, but it sounds like you've got a lot of pent up shit, Mae."
"Dude," Gregg whispered. "Levy, don't tell anyone about what Mae just said."
Levy laughed at that. "Man, who am I gonna tell? No one takes people like me seriously. Besides, there's a good chance you're both high. Between the glue and the weed, anyone'd say crazy shit."
Gregg nodded. Mae, unfortunately, continued talking.
"I can never tell them," she mumbled. "We can never tell anyone, Gregg. Not even Levy."
"We can talk about this later, Mae," Gregg said. "For now, I think we should go. You can chill at my apartment until you come down from your high."
Mae nodded at that. She passed her joint to Levy—actually, she just sort of dropped it onto his pants leg—and got up to her feet. Everything felt very, very wobbly. The whole world, even.
When she began to stumble, Gregg was there to put an arm around her shoulder.
Levy waved goodbye to the two as they began to walk away. Gregg and Mae walked out across the seemingly infinite black of the parking lot and made their way back to the safety of home.
Mae hadn't told Dr. Feldman everything. She hadn't told him about what she'd said to Levy. She hadn't told him about her panic attack. She'd told him about some weird thoughts she'd had—mostly about brownies, pierogis, and the Swamp Husband DVD.
From the look on his face, though, Feldman knew she was leaving something out. He didn't press her for more info, though. That was good. Mae liked that.
"So, I take it that you didn't love the experience," he said.
"I wouldn't do it again," Mae muttered. "Plus, I wound up eating, like, all of Gregg's chips. And a whole thing of microwave ramen. Without microwaving it."
"Yep, weed'll do that," Feldman said. He marked something down in his notes once again.
"Well, that was… an interesting second session," he said. "I'll see you next month. Maybe next time, we could talk about your… other issues?"
Mae winced. Right. The softball thing. The shapes. She guessed she'd have to get around to talking about that eventually. And maybe Dr. Feldman could, like, hypnotize her into not being nuts. Because Mae probably needed that right now.
More and more things were falling out of focus, and Mae didn't know what to do.
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of-another-broken-heart · 8 years ago
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Today was: 
sleep 
so much sleep
too much sleep probably
Then: ouch my teeth hurt omg they shifted because I slept so much ugh. 
I tend to have my jaw lightly clenched, or to cyclically grind my teeth periodically throughout the day [it feels like a tooth/gum massage] so long periods of no-pressure make my teeth shift. Which means as soon as I need to do anything, like shut my mouth or chew food, I get PAIN as my teeth collide in ways they don’t normally. As always, that wore off as I “massaged” them back into normal place. 
I didn’t sleep through the whole day. I woke up and rolled over more times than I could count. I knew lil sis had a friend over. Which was part of why I tried to stay in bed so much. By the time I got up, it was quiet. I assumed the diabolical duo had invaded the friend’s house. I was wrong, though. I got up just in time to be debriefed by mom that the kids had asked to go visit a neighborhood kid’s house, to invite them out/over to play - but then decided they wanted to keep roaming the neighborhood with or without said kid, instead of coming back to our house. Mom had told them “No - your friend has permission from her parent to be HERE, not ‘in the neighborhood’,” but they made a fuss to the point where mom was sure she was going to have to go drive around, find them, and escort them back to the house herself. 
That got me pissed off, because mom is sick and lil sis KNOWS she’s sick, and giving mom a hard time should be the LAST fucking thing she’s up to... 
I had promised to go visit my grandparents, at the very least to pick up that piece of mail PopPop told me was there for mom. So mom asked me to swing through the neighborhood dirt roads to corral the kids back to the house. I agreed, but thankfully didn’t have to worry about it. The kids were gliding into the yard right as I was climbing into my driver’s seat. 
Mom’s sick still, so she definitely didn’t want to risk spreading it to her parents. She tried to go to work today, but the coughing and pain landed her right back home pretty quickly. She should have been staying in bed and resting, but with lil sis and friend doing their thing, idk how much rest she actually got. 
I updated my grandparents about mom’s state when I got there. Nana mentioned something about how my mom is pretty susceptible to brochitis, and mentioned that mucinex might help. I stuck around and chatted with them a bit (I was glad to stay away from the kid circus, and it makes them happy to have little social visits like that) then decided to visit a few stores.  
So I stopped by the drug store and picked up some generic medicines that were similar to mucinex (I don’t have $16 for one box of cold medicine holy hell). I also looked to see if they had replaced the out-of-stock pressed powder color that I had meant to buy. It was still out. Worst case scenario, I bought makeup that’s one shade too dark - but that’ll work out for spring/summer when lil sis spends more time outside probably, and her skin tone will shift to be a little darker. Hooray! I never thought about having seasonal makeup for practical reasons like that. I usually scoffed at the idea, like “Well sure there are different seasonal ~aesthetics~ but you don’t NEED different colors for different seasons!” but then the whole sunlight/skin tone reality snuck its way into one single makeup tutorial and BLAM sense was made. 
Next I swung by the grocery store because I was pretty damn sure we were out of american cheese and I had a half-baked plan of maybe doing grilled cheese and soup for dinner. Easy, filling comfort food. Half of it is soup, good for sick momma. That was my thought process, anyway. I checked the clearance shelves, as I always do, and found some good deals. The chocolate lucky charms cereal that my mom had found, and my brother really liked - two boxes, each marked down to eighty-two cents. A whole bag of onion bagels - at least a dozen - for three bucks. There were some good sales, too. I got myself two full bags of chips for less than four dollars. And two boxes of cheddar shell pasta for a buck seventy. My chocolate-hunting eagle eyes also spotted a thirty-cent clearance tag on the gift chocolate shelves next to the floral desk. Little caramel-filled chocolate squares. I swiped them off the shelf. The whole reason I stopped in was to get american cheese, so I picked up what seemed to be the best deal available (and the only american cheese on sale at all, jeez), and I grabbed some blocks of cream cheese to go along with my onion bagel loot bag. 
I got home to find mom was out. It was pretty easy to deduce where she’d gone. I brought my bag of groceries and drugstore medicine in, and the only obnoxious sounds were the slightly-too-loud living room television and the squawking of the bird and kids’ father. Mom had taken sis’s friend home and lil sis had gone along for the ride. 
I put some things away, then spotted a letter that needed to go into the mail. I decided I’d do that for mom, so she wouldn’t have to do it tonight in the cold, or try to do it tomorrow morning before the mail was collected. She pulled in the driveway as I was halfway to the mailbox. I waved the letter and said “So you can sleep in in the morning!” because there’s no school so she doesn’t have to be the kids’ alarm clock. I’d only remembered that at my grandparents’ house, and sure enough mom had forgotten, too. 
I put the letter in the mailbox with the flag up. (It didn’t strike me then, but... does the mail even come on MLKJr day? Shit.)
I chatted with mom inside, and asked about dinner. We’ve had some ground beef thawed and ready to go for a few nights now, but I asked about doing soup and grilled cheese anyway. She wasn’t really into it. Bummer for me, but not a big deal. My main point was “I’ll make a simple sick-friendly dinner tonight.” So she half thought out loud, half explained to me that she had planned to heat up some frozen fries to go along with sloppy joe sandwiches, and I was like “Okay, I’ll get started. Is there a specific pan you want me to use, or does it not matter?” 
And she was relieved and pleasantly surprised and got to go rest in bed, and I cooked dinner. I tried to get the fries to have a pseudo-fried texture to them, by coating the baking sheet with some EV olive oil, but the bottle we have doesn’t have a dribble spout, it has a POUR spout, so there ended up being a bit more oil on the sheet than I would have liked. And mom thinks she set the oven temperature a bit too low. Regardless of our reliable human error, the fries got good and warm and lightly toasted - but not enough to crisp. The oil coating helped the salt stick nicely, and it wasn’t so much that it actually made the food greasy or oily. Just a smidge heavier than planned. 
I doctored up the meat a teeny tiny itty bitty bit, too. (Can’t do too much or everyone will swear it’s spoiled or something) Some salt, ground black pepper, and garlic powder went in while it was browning. And even though I was supposed to drain off the grease, there really wasn’t much to drain, so I just left it in there. Mom tends to buy leaner cuts, so there’s not much fat that cooks off in the first place, and I was trying to slow-cook the meat to get it to tenderize and soak in some of the seasonings - which gives the little bit of grease time to cook off and out of the pan/onto the oven hood. I desperately wanted to chop up some onion or peppers to put in with the sloppy joe sauce, but even if we had any to add, I would have ruined the meal for mom and lil sis. So just the sauce went in, and I let it bubble and simmer until the fries were done. 
I heated up some canned corn and put a pat of butter, some salt, and some pepper on it, too. Not super fancy by any stretch, but a bit tastier than fresh-from-the-can flavor. 
Everybody ate and there were no leftovers! Except a little corn, because goddamn this family just doesn’t like vegetables =/ even may-as-well-be-bread corn. The kernels I couldn’t eat went into the compost bin. I washed the dishes after dinner, too. That’s normally bro’s daily chore, but he’s off at a friend’s house this whole weekend, and lil sis did it last night (and made a point of expressing how tired she was while she ate dinner), so I figured I’d just jump in and take care of it so mom wouldn’t have to worry about it at all. 
Then I made myself a cup of coffee. Because that’s a good idea at 7:30 at night. But it’s warm and delicious so whatever. 
I’ve been streaming some Legend of Dragoon the past few nights, and I’m gonna do some more tonight, too! Because I don’t have to compete for quiet in my immediate space tonight thanks to bro staying at his friend’s place an extra day wooo! 
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powertobehandsome · 7 years ago
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The Way I See It || Matt and Seth
Part three for you. @blindlyburning​
"Elektra Natchios? She and Matt used to date in college. From what I understand, she really broke his heart or something, but I don't know why it's so important for him to know she's back in town... good riddance to her, basically. He was such a wreck. Like he's Matt, so he was pretty good at not showing it, but I mean, I saw through his shit."
"Naturally. I've... been there with the man who hides the emotions but you're the best friend so you can see through it." He smiled and started to relax.
"What kind of name is Elektra? Like... that alone sounds like a nightmare."
Fun. Seth was trying to... what? Get close with his lawyer while in the middle of this? And now the heartbreaking ex-girlfriend was back. Great.
"Right? She's all gorgeous too. Like supervillain gorgeous. I wish..." Foggy huffed, took another bite of heaven, and continued a minute later. "At least you'll be there. He seems to really like you, and I bet having someone nice around will help him not... slip back into Elektra-land."
"Of course she's gorgeous. The super-villains always are." Seth, for the first time in what felt like months, thought of Summer. She was no Villain. She had done some great things for his self-confidence. But maybe she was a lower case villain. Because recovering from her leaving had taken far longer than he cared to admit.
"Sure, though. Maybe I can read him bedtime stories and cook him a meal for once. Ryan only really works with a grille. He's the ultimate outdoor cook. Me? Not so much. I like ovens and processors and that kind of thing."
Matt didn't get back until almost five thirty. When he walked in, he stopped, sensing the somewhat tense mood of the place. His hand gripped his cane reflexively before he made himself hang it on a hook.
"Somebody die?"
"Mnnnnn. This cop's got shitty handwriting."
Matt frowned, then shook his head. "It's fine."
"Fine? This is embarrassing even to read."
"So don't read it."
"Bite me, Murdock." Foggy groaned and looked up. "How'd it go?"
Matt's smile was secretive for a moment before he spilled. "They dropped all charges."
"What? HELL YES! Officially?"
"Officially." Matt tossed him a manila packet, then turned to Seth. "You and Ryan are free to go anytime."
Foggy was flipping pages. "This is incredible. Yes. Yesssss. I knew the one-two of me with photos and you with your creepy, stubborn, eloquent ass would work."
"Bull."
Foggy flipped him off, too happy to even get into the verbal sparring. "Too bad we can't go after the guys that did this. They shut that down nicely.. but whatever. Freedom for the good guys! Seth, where's your better half at? We gotta tell him the good news!"
"He is on his way back from JFK with our luggage. Since... well, since this all seems to be over..." You'll probably want us out of your house. "If you'd like to discuss your fee, we'll get that to you before I leave here."
He text Ryan the address, who responded with a simple:
>> What are the plans tonight?
And Seth locked his screen without replying. He'd hear soon enough.
"On top of your fee, since you didn't get to charge us for going to trial, I would like to buy you both drinks tonight. I insist. It's the least I can do for all that you've done.”
"You can mail a check if that's easier," Foggy shrugged. "Karen will make the bill up when she comes in tomorrow. Drinks sound --"
"Like a terrible idea for someone with your injuries and on prescription painkillers," Matt interjected. "But if you want to stay a while -- I'm sure flying will be needlessly painful -- maybe we can do drinks in a few days. I mean not that you have to stay, but... the company is nice. And I don’t want to stick you on a plane until you’re actually ready. This isn’t a client thing.. it's a friend thing."
"Oh. No. We'd planned on staying at least a week. And I... was offering to buy drinks. Not to drink them myself. I'm not suicidal." He shrugged at Foggy and then looked back at Matt.
It wasn't his place to bring down the room, and he thought the mention of the man who'd made an appearance, and the message he'd delivered, might do just that, so Seth stuck to happier things. "But you're sure? Will you let me at least buy groceries? Something? You've done so much."
"You can buy groceries," Matt agreed, grinning. "But you've got to let me cook."
"Matt we should go out tonight though, celebrate! If Ryan votes go, it'll be three to one, and you can suck it."
Something seemed off with Seth, Matt thought, and felt a sliver of worry. "Okay... Seth, you okay?"
"Tired," he replied softly, his smile was genuine. "You should have a bagel. I ordered too many. And though your partner and I put a decent dent in what was delivered, there are still more to go around."
He didn't know why he felt uneasy, honestly. Maybe it was just the exhaustion. The pills. The pain that riddled him from armpit to hip. Well. With the lucky addition of his face, too.
"And, while I hope he'll agree, Ryan might try to err on the side of reason. The little shit."
The door opened just then.
"Someone say my name?" Ryan smiled, lugging two duffle bags and a suitcase. 
"Seth invited us out for drinks and you're the swing vote," Foggy explained, and went to help him with the luggage. "Celebration thing, since the charges are all dropped."
Matt got a plain bagel and sat down to tear at pieces of it. He rolled his chair over to be near Seth, feeling a strange need to just be close. "Everything go okay, Ryan?"
"Completely? That's awesome. Yeah. Let's... I would like to go out. If Seth is up for it. We have money. Still no cards, of course. But those... I asked that they be delivered here. Is that okay? They said it would be about three days. But we have clothes and we can finally get out of Matt's hair."
"Actually, he's invited us to stay. Surprising, I know. Since nobody can sleep with your train charging through the living room."
"Bite me."
"I prefer things a bit more kosher."
Ryan was smiling and rolled his eyes, looking at Foggy as he happily reached for a bagel. "I see Seth called Sandy for lunch. The Cohens never take bagels lightly."
Reaching out toward Matt, Ryan alerted him of the returning of his phone, thanked him again for it, and then settled back against the wall. "So, you two know the city. Where are we having dinner?"
Foggy had just gone for another bagel as well, and at the last question, he and Matt asked in unison: "Isn't this dinner?"
Foggy stared at Matt for a minute, then laughed. "You guys didn't hear that. I swear we aren't married. You heard nothing. And there's a pretty good kosher diner down the block, if that'd work?"
Foggy sent Seth a text while talking: 'pls dnt be mad. I dnt want 2 tell him 2nite. Will upset him. Want him to have a good nite. Will tell tmrw. K?'
"I was just joking. Literally any food is more kosher than biting Ryan."
"An no. Bagels do not constitute as dinner. Find a pub. Cheese fries. Hamburgers. Beer and whiskey. Seth can be our designated driver."
"I'm high on pain meds."
"We'll get an uber."
Seth smiled then, nodding. "Would... would it be too much to ask for a little nap before we opt for anything dealing with the outside world? I'll set an alarm. I promise it'll only be an hour or two. Just enough to recharge."
Ryan looked to the other two for confirmation. He didn't care either way. He figured they were all full on bagels for the time being anyway. "You nap. I have freedom. And I want a proper, double decker bus tour through the city."
Seth wasn't even listening, but he nodded all the same. Instead he looked at his phone.
>> It's not my place. He's your best friend. You know what is best for him. But... if we somehow run into her tonight, or your friend Andrew, be prepared to lie your ass off.
>>matt sucks at lying but I passed that class in lawyer school. Thanks Seth. I appreciate you.
Once it was decided to go home for a while first, they went. Foggy went with them to Matt's place, wanting to help with the luggage, and he gave them a friendly goodbye when he headed back out, already trying to decide what to wear and where to take them.
Matt seemed glad to be home. "You guys both napping?" He asked. "Or are you going out to be free right now, Ryan? You should still try to stay wary of your surroundings if you do. Just... a New York thing."
>> I know he does.
"I'm going out. Only taking enough money for the tour. They last about an hour or two. Go down to Brooklyn. Up to Wall Street. They show you were the soup nazi kitchen was from Seinfeld..."
"Dude, you're such a tourist."
"And you're a dick. But you're still my best friend. You guys enjoy your time. I'll text if there's any trouble."
With that and a wave at Seth, Ryan was lightly stepping out the door again.
Seth wrapped an arm around his ribs and moved to go sit on the couch. It didn't matter how comfortable the bed was, or that he'd shared it the night before, he still felt like he didn't have the unspoken right to go in there and sleep whenever he pleases.
"You... don't have to stay, if you have other things to do. But thank you, Matt. For whatever it was you did. You're quite literally a life saver. I owe you a lot."
"Literally just doing my job... and I was thinking that a nap sounds good actually. Would it be weird to share the bed again? It's yours as long as you're here, and if you don't want me there, I understand."
"I would rather you there," he replied, perhaps a bit too candidly. But Seth stood again, and then worked to catch his breath as he walked back to the bedroom.
"I don't understand how it all just went away."
"It's mostly about who wants to be the biggest pain in the ass. The people who hurt you refused to come forward for whatever reason, and with the photos and medical reports on your injuries, it's pretty clear you were a victim. The prosecutors’ office knows that sometimes, police reports aren't... as accurate as they should be." He helped Seth to bed, then helped him undress to whatever level he wanted once they were there. "Basically... a lot of little things came together in our favor, and Foggy and I pushed on all of them as hard as we could."
His underwear was what he'd opted to sleep in, knowing now how warm the covers got in Matt's room, and he silently watched Matt help him get undressed, thankful for the kindness, for the help, for everything his new friend had done. It was too much, and Seth wanted to repay the kindness. Someday, maybe, he would.
Seth's eyelids became almost instantly heavy as he laid down in the bed shaped heaven, and he rolled to the comfortable, non-bruised side, slinking closer to Matt. For some reason, he felt the need to be close, to have some kind of contact, so he moved until his forehead was pressed up against the other man's shoulder. "Fuck. My phone. I was going to set an alarm."
Matt had stripped down to his boxers as well, and he reached back to very, very carefully stroke his fingers somewhere he knew was uninjured. "I'll wake us up in time," he promised. "Get some rest."
Seth dreamed a little, he thought, but by the time Matt woke him, he couldn't remember any of them. Some time in his sleep, he'd managed to scoot closer still, and thanks to the affection he'd received, he had draped an arm (and muttered something in his sleep about telling his hurt ribs to fuck off) over Matt's side.
Ryan returned about three hours later. He went straight for the couch and collapsed, figuring Seth would wake him too when it was time.
When Matt finally did wake him, tired, but happy eyes looked up. "Sorry," he whispered, pulling his arm free. "Thank you for the nap. I feel better."
"I'm glad. Are you sure you're up for going out, though? Do you need another day to rest?"
"I'm fine," he replied quietly, sleepily. "Besides, I'm not the one partying, remember. But Ryan and Foggy deserve a night out to celebrate. And today was a good day."
Seth looked at Matt for a long minute. "Are you okay, though? Today was only legal business? Your bruise from last night is pretty subtle. More so than I would have expected. I'm impressed."
"Strictly legal," he promised, then stretched with a quiet, pleased sounding little moan. "And you're right. They deserve some fun. But if it gets to be too much for you, tell me and we'll call it a night, okay?"
"As you wish," Seth replied a little playfully, and then finally had to make himself pull away with the reminder that this wasn't his boyfriend, and he needed to get his shit together.
When he was finally up and dressed in his own clothes from his bag, Seth went to get Ryan. "I'm gonna take pills. You get up."
Ryan groaned, nodded, and then sat up in a rush. He looked at Seth's mess of curls and smiled sweetly. His dumb brother was too good for this world. "Any word from Foggy on where we're going?"
Matt shook his head and got dressed, then called Foggy, who answered with a ridiculous amount of energy.
"Hey!  So let's take them to Josie's! I know it's a dive and a half but the food doesn't suck and c'mon, Matt, Josie's!"
"Okay," Matt agreed, smiling. Ever since they'd added food options at Josie's bar, Foggy had been addicted -- when they could pay. "Half an hour?"
"You bet your blind ass, Matty-boy!" Foggy hung up.
It felt good to hear him so happy, Matt thought. Foggy needed this sort of thing. "Looks like we're going to Josie's.. Foggy's second favorite place on earth. It's a shitty bar, but surprisingly safe."
"Sounds perfect," Ryan replied, and Seth hummed his agreement. It would be fun, they were both sure of it.
Seth walked over to where the Western Union envelope was placed and thumbed through the bills. He knew if they'd just gone to a bank to pick up the cash from their own accounts, things would have been fine. But at the time, they were being as low key as possible.
By time they were all ready to leave, most of Seth's pain and quiet resolve had dissipated. "Ready? Let's go get you three drunk and happy."
"Two of them, anyway," Matt said, smiling. From there, it wasn't long until Foggy was giving all of them hugs in the doorway to Josie's, although his hug for Seth was more of a delicate pat than anything else.
The bar was sleazy, but the drinks were strong and the food surprisingly good. Matt slowly worked on just one drink and didn't partake in the food, but he seemed very happy to be there with them. He stayed close to Seth all evening -- unless Seth indicated he didn't want him there. Matt told himself that the nearness was in order to help Seth if he needed it, but the truth was that he felt happier and more at ease when they were close enough to touch.
Eventually, Foggy tried to entice the others into a game of pool. Matt had been loving all the warm interactions, but the pool worried him. "Maybe Seth should sit this out... Seth, come be a wallflower with me, tell me how the game goes?"
Playing pool definitely wasn't an option. Not with the leaning and stretching across the table. But he liked the idea of going over and sitting beside Matt anyway.
He leaned, whispering in Matt's ear against the steady buzz of the bar noise. "As if you can't hear each play better than I can see them," he teased, brushing against Matt's shoulder, and lifting his glass of ice water to his lips.
"So, I fly to New York... Foggy is stripes. He sunk one on the break; I'm convinced it was pure luck... the airline sent my luggage to Georgia. I had to wait two days to get it.... Ryan sunk two, but he scratched on the second, so it's Foggy's play... I figure my luck surely can't get much worse, considering my layover in Indiana was four hours, and then another delay because of plane maintenance. So Ryan and I go out for drinks... Foggy and Ryan both missed, but Foggy made one... no. Shit. Three, before missing... Then I got too drunk. Got beat up, then arrested. And you came to the rescue warning me that I fucked with the wrong people and all that... led me here. And I hurt. And I feel like I've been high for days, but I don't regret any of it. I'm happy to be here."
Seth's whispers made Matt shiver in a familiar, sensual way he'd only ever experienced with one person. His lips parted a little as he listened, but it wasn't the words that drew him in so much as the sound of Seth's voice and the little clinks of the ice every time he moved his glass. He liked the smell of his skin, even the traces of blood and drugs, because Matt could practically taste Seth's body healing, and that was a nice thing. Seth was nice. He was awkward and strange sometimes, but who wasn't?  And none of that mattered. He was too nice, too sweet, too good seeming for any of that to matter -- and that was when Matt realized he was definitely forming a crush on Seth... a crush Seth probably didn't mind.
So much for being straight. The realization was a little frightening at first. Matt wasn't sure how to process it or if he was even okay with it -- but did his acceptance really matter? Either way, Seth was here and making Matt feel wanted, and Matt wanted him to feel the same.
"You give an excellent narration," he replied during a pause, his whisper very low and a little gravelly, lips ghosting against Seth's ear. "I can hear them, but can't see the colors or the numbers.. and I like listening to you." He touched his forehead to the side of Seth's head for a brief moment, then turned his attention back towards the game and put his arm around Seth, mindful of his hurts.
"And I'm glad you're here, too. I wish it was under better circumstances... but I'm still glad."
Seth's lips parted to allow a slow, shaky intake of breath to pass through. His stomach twisted in a way that felt much different than nausea as he felt Matt's whispers against his ear. His eyes closed when Matt's head rested against his. Seth smiled.
The arm around his shoulders was welcome, and Seth inched just a little closer, wanting to lean in to rest wholly against Matt, but opted to keep things casual for the time being, just in case Matt was wary about Foggy or Ryan getting too interested too quickly.
Seth continued to narrate the game, including when Foggy sank the eight ball. "Unfortunately it wasn't the pocket he'd called out. So Ryan technically won," Seth said, smiling and taking a moment to look at Matt while the game wasn't actively being played.
"Would you like another drink?"
"No, I'm..." in a heartbeat, Matt's entire demeanor changed. He stiffened and seemed to shut off his warmth and humanity at once, despite not moving, and he turned his head towards the door.
The men who'd attacked the boys had just walked in, looked around, and headed for them.
Matt stood up and grabbed his cane.
Foggy looked up and then over at Ryan in question.
"You friends with these guys?" The leader -- who was the only one that hadn't been there for the attack -- asked Matt.
Foggy quickly moved up to stand next to his partner. "We're their lawyers," he said, and didn't seem half as drunk as he had a few minutes ago.
"If you're here for trouble," Matt started to say, but the leader shushed at him.
"I'm not going to start trouble with a blind man. I'm Hector Ramirez. My parents raised me better than that. No. We have something to say to Cohen and Atwood. Just words."
Matt looked tense, but he nodded. "Okay. Ryan. Seth. You mind coming over here?"
Though he looked like shit, and he was more frightened than he cared to admit, Seth exchanged a glance with Ryan using his one good eye.
Ryan had expected Seth to follow him up, stand right behind his shoulder, as he normally did when they were faced with a potential fight. But this time, Seth stood a little closer to Matt, looking like he was a little more his partner in crime than he was Ryan's.
Meanwhile, Seth had to bite his cheek to keep from running his mouth. He was sober. And these guys could clearly beat the shit out of him.
"I think whatever message you have to deliver was done by your lackeys the last time we met," Ryan said, nodding at Seth. "What is it you want?"
"To offer my apologies," Ramirez said. "What they did was unconscionable. I am sorry. We are trying to make Hell's Kitchen a safer community, and attacking guests is a terrible way to do that. Please. Accept my apologies, my assurances that no further harm will come to you from my people... and my gratitude for the discretion of your lawyers. I will handle discipline privately with these men. We do not assault people here -- and we do not commit gay bashing."
Matt took a small step forward, stunned by what he was hearing, because Ramirez seemed to be telling the truth. "Are you serious?"
"I am. This isn't going to be the beginning of any vendetta. We won't do that here. Your clients are safe. You are safe. We only kill our enemies in Hell's Kitchen, my friend -- and these two men are not enemies."
Foggy wished he was a little more sober, because he had to be hallucinating.
Seth and Ryan looked at each other in surprise. This wasn't at all what they had been expecting. A fight. A warning to stay out of their clubs. A threat that Seth wouldn't be so lucky next time.
But an apology.
Seth was willing to let things go. He wanted to enjoy the rest of their time in New York. He wanted to enjoy the rest of their night.
But Ryan wasn't so easily swayed.
"Yeah? You gonna have your guys pay for the hospital bills? How about the pain pills he has to take because he can't hardly move without them?"
"Ryan, let it go. He said he wanted peace. The whole thing is over. Let's just start up another game."
"No. Because you can't play a game. Because your fucking rib is cracked."
"I know. I know it is. But I just want this to be over." Seth reached out to put a hand on Ryan's shoulder, who jerked free of his touch. "Ryan, please."
Finally Ryan looked at Seth, still fuming. But his gaze shifted to Foggy, and then Matt. Eventually, he nodded. "Fine. But when you next want to call your dad and tell him how great the world is, how nice your time in New York was, don't forget to tell him you were the victim of a hate crime. I'm sure he'll appreciate hearing the story."
Ramirez listened and watched Ryan until he was done. He smiled then and held his arms out to his sides.
"It is not enough? I see. You come from California where everything is fair. Where everyone is paid. It is not enough for you to escape with your lives, to be given an assurance of safety that you clearly don't want."
Matt shifted so as to stay between Ramirez and the Californians, but his heart was already sinking.
"Okay. I take back the apology, Ryan Atwood. One should never give a gift that isn't wanted. But I'll give you one more, a lesson: sometimes, drunken men do stupid things and nobody pays. Sometimes, sober men do things that are laughed at. The world? Not a fair place. Lawyers cannot fix everything for you. They cannot always get you money. Sometimes, all the lawyers can get... is killed.
"You'll go home tonight, Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood. Because if we see you in New York again... it's a dangerous city.
"You got what you wanted now."
Seth’s heart fell to his stomach and effectively made him nauseous. Ryan’s temper had never been a good thing. And while what the men had done was unforgivable, there were certain instances where he should just know when to let things go. It was a lesson he had never learned. And, it seemed, one which was likely to get them killed before they made it out of the city.
“It is a dangerous city, and though you may believe otherwise…”
“Ryan.”
“You don’t own it.”
Seth grabbed Ryan by the arm and pulled him around to face him. “Will you fucking knock it off. I know you were uninjured in the fight that happened the other day. But I already fucking feel like death. I get it, you’re pissed. I’m pissed. But he came looking for peace and now you’ve essentially turned that olive branch into a pistol.”
Ryan pulled his arm free of Seth’s grasp, spared one more glare in the direction of the Ramirez, and then moved back to the pool table, inserting another couple quarters to release the balls for another game.
Seth didn’t apologize for his friend. It was clear, he hoped, that he didn’t stand in the same position, but he knew Ryan was angry for Seth, and so to speak out against him, or to apologize for him would feel like a betrayal Ryan didn’t deserve. So Seth moved back to where he had been sitting beside Matt before the others arrived, knowing in his gut that they would likely be shot while leaving the bar tonight.
“I know you don’t approve but…”
“No, Ryan. No ‘but.’ These men put me in the hospital. And we don’t have a weapon in this fight. Literally. So all you’re doing is waving the fucking red cape at the raging bull and asking me to stand behind it. I wanted a week of tourism and shopping.”
“You don’t expect me to apologize for standing up for you, do you?”
“Is that what you were doing?” Seth looked down at his glass of water, his eyes following a drop of condensation along the outside of the glass as it gathered with the rest of the drops at the wet ring at the base. “Play your game or let’s get out of here.” Seth turned his attention to Matt and Foggy. “I’m sorry. For whatever trouble that just caused the two of you. I’m so sorry.”
Matt had stayed put while Ryan and Seth wandered off. Ramirez was still there, watching, and Matt could feel satisfaction rolling off him. Ramirez would have honored his word, Matt thought -- and now he would honor this one.
"It's too bad," Ramirez murmured and patted Matt on the cheek.
"Don't touch me." Matt slapped his hand away.
"I won't have to." He nodded to his crew and they left. He was the last out the door. As for Matt, he seemed rooted in place, hands tight around his cane.
Everyone else in the bar avoided looking at them.
Foggy took his phone out.
"Don't bother," Matt said. "You know the police won't help. Especially not us."
"Then who will? Matt? We can't exactly get in a gun battle or whatever with an entire gang! In case you didn't notice!" Foggy wasn't sure whether he was more frightened or angry, but decided it didn't matter. "We need help. Maybe the cops..."
"We both know exactly how this will play out." Matt's voice had become a growl. Finally, he moved. He went and got his jacket and pulled it on. For a moment, he stood still, between Ryan and Seth, and then he shook his head without a word. He couldn't disagree with what Ryan had said, no matter how naive it had been. Ryan had an angry passion for justice, it seemed, and Matt could understand that.
Matt headed for the door.
"Matt! Where are you going?"
"Home. Make sure they get back safely, Foggy. Goodnight."
The door shut behind him.
And now, as if the certainty of his own impending death wasn’t enough, as Seth watched Matt exit the bar, he stood, winced, and considered trying to run after him. He was worried. Anxious. He had read plenty, heard plenty of stories about the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. And he had no doubt that Matt was every bit that man and more. And so, as he left in a huff, Seth wondered if he was really going home, or if he was going to make sure they could leave the bar without being attacked.
Speaking of which, Seth didn’t know what to do. Leaving was dangerous. And even though the entire bar had heard Ramirez threaten their lives, he doubted their deaths would even warrant questioning of that man and his gang. Ryan was impossible to reason with right now, and he likely wouldn’t be approachable for the rest of the night. Still, he racked another round and didn’t give Foggy the option to break, but when none of the balls actually made it into a pocket, he stepped back and rested the butt of the stick on the ground, his head hanging low.
Seth looked at Foggy. “You are not obligated to play with him. My friend and brother is a moron. But, this is also his olive branch to you. You’ve done a lot for he and I, and he’s not so good at the ‘sorrys.’”
“I’m not sorry for what I said.”
“You put our new friends in danger. You better fucking be sorry.”
Ryan looked up to meet Foggy’s eyes, and though his pride wouldn’t let him say it, his eyes admitted his remorse.
“I’ll call an uber whenever you two are ready to leave.” Let’s just hope it’s not one of the gang members who answers the call.
"Something tells me we should... finish the game," Foggy said, his voice a little tight. His vision blurred and he reached up to wipe quickly at it, then took his stick back up. He set up a shot and froze in place, ready to take it -- but he couldn't. Instead, he closed his eyes and let his head hang.
"Matt's gonna die, Seth. I know you know... it. He's gonna die. If he... stays home alone." His voice was so quiet that he wasn't sure either of them would hear it. Hell, he wasn't sure he wanted them to. He straightened up after a moment, looking pale, and took his phone out again. "Andrew? Hey. Um. It's Foggy. Look. If you. You can get hold of Elektra. Matt needs her. Right now.... yeah.... no we're in a bar. He left. Josie's. Yeah. No." Foggy sounded on the verge of tears, or maybe like he was going to be sick. "She'll understand. Please tell her." When he hung up, he hurried away to the bathroom where he was promptly sick.
A few minutes later he came out, having rinsed his mouth and washed his face. He still looked pale, but this time he took a shot.
"Lucky thirteen," he said quietly, when the thirteen plopped in.
Seth had heard him. Ryan was too busy taking a deep pull from his glass of whiskey, treating it much more like a shot than the slowly sipped on glass it was supposed to be. Seth had heard him, but he didn’t know what to do. He was less help to Matt in his condition than any of the others, and while his heart was aching and yeah, maybe he should go home… or, back to Matt’s home, he didn’t even know if Matt would be there. He didn’t know what to do.
When the Foggy returned and took the shot, Seth sat up straighter, his stomach twisting with uncertainty, and he waited for some sign, some suggestion on Foggy’s part. Ryan, however, had decided that getting drunk would be the best coping mechanism. He was brooding and silent, and every time he looked at someone, his eyes screamed that he was amping up for a fight. But Seth didn’t want it to come to that.
Ryan lost that game, horribly, and as when Foggy still had two balls left, Seth had put in an order for an uber, and he got the notification that the car was waiting outside just before Foggy sunk the eight ball.
“Right, well, our ride is here, and I think it’ll be better for all parties involved if we get out of the bar and just go somewhere quiet where we can lock the doors.” He wanted to find Matt. He wanted to make sure he was okay. And while Seth had no idea that Foggy had tried to reach out for Elektra, Seth prayed that there had been someone on Matt’s side who could help him in whatever it was he was trying to do.
Ryan swayed as he leaned against the pool stick, but he eventually nodded and -- with several attempts -- stuck it back in its place on the wall. Seth pulled cash from his wallet and closed out their tab, leaving a more than generous tip for the trouble they’d caused. And then he turned back to look at Foggy. “I think we should at least get out of here. Whatever that translates to for you, we’ll go along with. But I can’t… just sit still in here any longer.”
"We should go to Matt's..."
But gunshots drowned out whatever else Foggy was going to say. People screamed and ducked, but the bar seemed untouched.
Several more shots rang out and then a man screamed in agony, a sickening, blood-chilling cry.
Foggy curled up on the floor and prayed.
Bullets sprayed in through the glass.
There was another scream from outside. Shouting. More shots -- then silence.
Seth had ducked, like everybody else, crouched down so he was below a window, but he also crawled through the grime of the bar floor to the door.
Matt.
Was Matt out there? Was he safe? Had one of those cries been him?
Seth was about ready to run out the door — now that there had been silence — adrenaline muting out any pain he had, when he heard his name being called.
“Seth!”
When he looked back over his shoulder, just shy of pushing the door open to try and go out there, to make sure Matt wasn’t the one who had screamed out in pain, his eyes caught sight of Ryan, his face screwed up in agony, clutching at a slowly growing red stain on his lower abdomen. The words to describe what had just happened wouldn’t come to Seth’s mind, he couldn’t fathom them, couldn’t put them in the correct order. But the sight alone, and the knowledge, however incapable he was of putting it to words, of what had just happened to his best friend, to his brother, kept him inside the bar and running back in the direction of the pool tables.
Ryan slid to the floor, clutching the wound. Seth pulled out his phone and immediately called 911. “Yeah. We’re at a bar called Josie’s. There were gunshots outside. My… My brother’s been shot. In the abdomen.” Seth peeked around to look behind Ryan and then shook his head, as if answering a question. “It didn’t go all the way through.” He helped Ryan all the way down to the ground, laying on his back, hoping gravity would work in his favor and keep some of the blood inside Ryan’s body. “You fucking idiot,” he whispered to Ryan while dispatch alerted him that help was on the way. “You mother fucking idiot. You had to go and get yourself shot.”
Foggy crawled over to help with Ryan, too numb and horrified to actually think through any of this. He couldn't handle it, it was all too big, all too terrible, so he had to focus on just one thing. Just Ryan. Just Ryan and his blood.
He couldn't think about Matt. He couldn't even let himself start to wonder.
Just Ryan. Only Ryan.
----
At the hospital, Foggy couldn't leave. He looked like another sibling, too lost and worried to just be a friend or a lawyer. When they were finally allowed in, he sat numbly on one side, holding Ryan's hand, and he silently prayed. Please don't die. Please don't die. Oh my god, no. You're too young. Please don't die. We could be brothers. Please don't. Please don't.
Surgery had lasted too long, though with the touch and go situation, any length of time felt too long. Seth had tried to call Matt, but it had gone to voice mail.
“I know you’re… Fuck. Just let us know you’re alive. Tell me where to find you.”
The surgeon had assured them that Ryan, if he woke, should be through the worst of it. The bullet had hit a bone in Ryan’s hip, and they’d had to screw in a metal plate. He’d lost a lot of blood, but his blood type was O-, common enough. While Foggy sat and held Ryan’s hand, Seth paced. He was hours past the time he was supposed to take another pill, but he’d left them at Matt’s, figuring they would be back in time. The police came to talk to the guys after another hour. Luckily, they weren’t ones they’d dealt with earlier that week.
With as level of a head as he could manage, Seth explained to them the proceedings of what had happened not just that night, but that week. He said he had not seen a shooter, and could not flat out claim that it had been Ramirez, but he did share the threat that had been delivered. Seth left Matt out of it as much as possible, saying that he had left as soon as Ramirez had, and had gone home. He even claimed that he’d spoken with Matt on the phone just before he’d contacted the uber company — was the driver okay?
The cop told him they would be in touch, but to not go anywhere, not to go back home to California just yet, and they would keep him updated.
Seth returned to his seat by Ryan’s side, checking his phone.
He was distracted when Ryan opened his eyes, exhaled miserably, and then peeked down at Seth, who shook his head.
“What? I couldn’t let you continue to be the center of attention with your injuries. You know how much I like for things to be about me.”
“No. Ryan. That’s me. I’m the self-absorbed one. You’re the reckless, fighty, impulsive one. And you’re an idiot. But i’m glad you’re alive.” Seth squeezed Ryan’s hand, spared a hopefully reassuring — though still plenty worried — glance at Foggy, and then went to get the nurse.
Several hours later, a text message arrived from Matt:
>> am alive. Am safe. Can't join you at the hospital tonight. Will try tomorrow. End message.
Foggy was asleep in the chair by that point, completely unwilling to leave Ryan's side. A nurse had been in recently to check on Ryan, but things were generally quiet in the hospital -- until there came a very light tap on the door and it was pushed open by a young person.
He barely looked like he was out of his teens. Soft, dark curls framed a youthful and somewhat effeminate face, and he was dressed plainly, as if to purposefully offset his almost delicate beauty. Gray jeans, a tight gray shirt, and a dark gray denim jacket left him looking more like trash that had been swept off the street in the eighties than anything else.
"Sorry to intrude," he whispered. "Are you guys Andrew Gale's friends? He said you might need... someone to protect you." Although it seemed far too late for that, Montparnasse thought.
Seth read the message over and over again. He considered offering to go to Matt, but he needed to stay at Ryan’s side, and he knew this. But still, he hoped that Matt wasn’t injured and trying to treat himself. He didn’t question how Matt knew they’d gone to the hospital. That part of the message seemed less important. And Seth still didn’t know that Elektra had been contacted. So all he had left to do was worry. Not just about Ryan, but Matt too. As he read the message again, he considered waking Foggy just enough to give him the little bit of reassurance he might receive at knowing that Matt was alive. But Seth figured he would receive his own text message, so letting him sleep would be the kindest thing for now.
As the kid, for that’s the only word that really came to mind when he looked at the young man, entered the room and mentioned Gale’s name, Seth stared at him for a long moment, and then just gave one singular nod of affirmation. “Thanks,” he whispered, his throat full of gravel, and he shifted in his chair, holding his breath as he did, wishing he again had that same surge of adrenaline to down out the sharp jabs once more.
He didn’t know how this kid would protect them, but it seemed like a pointless conversation. Seth turned back to Ryan, leaned his head over the edge of the bed, and tried to sleep.
Both he and Foggy were woke at close to six the next morning.
“I’m sorry, boys, but during shift change in the ICU, when linens get changed and doctors make their rounds, we have to ask families to leave. Just for two hours. Then you’re welcome to come back. And hopefully he’ll be awake when you do.”
Montparnasse had been perched in the windowsill, and when those instructions came, he shook his head.
"Sorry. They can go, but I've got to stay." He reached into a pocket and pulled out a thin little badge wallet, which he offered to the nurse. "I need you not to talk about that," he said, gesturing to the id he'd handed over. "I'm undercover, but I've been tasked with protecting this man."
The nurse frowned but gave the id back. It looked genuine enough. "Alright... but the others have to go."
"Mm. We gotta get some breakfast, and go get your pain meds, huh?" Foggy stood up. He gave Montparnasse a confused look, but decided to believe him. The guy looked familiar -- and Foggy was blissfully unaware of the Uzi tucked under Montparnasse's jacket.
He got up, stretched, and kissed Ryan's forehead lightly before looking at Seth. "Matt's place? Then back here?"
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