#given what we've been yelling about on discord i simply had to

[apotheosised]

hurt / comfort meme | accepting | @shoreabove​ “ you want me to punch him in the face ?? ” -Emma 

Does he? Paul’s relationship with his father has always been troubled, to say the least. Even though he knows, deep down, that John Matthews is not a particularly good man, he has always wanted to prove himself wrong. It’s why he still makes token efforts to reach out whenever his father is in Hatchetfield, because perhaps this time he might have finally changed for the better, and Paul will have his father in his life for good once again. After all, his mother must have married him for a reason-surely he owes it to her memory to try and maintain some kind of relationship with the man. Besides, it’s not entirely his father’s fault; despite what his mother always said, Paul knows he was not an easy child, that he is still somewhat difficult as an adult. John Matthews did not sign up for sensory overloads and meltdowns and dysphoria, so can Paul really blame him for walking out on them? Emma certainly seems to think so. 

To say Paul has been nervous about Emma and his father meeting for the first time would be an understatement-he has been an anxious wreck about it. Twice he has come close to calling the whole thing off, and he wishes now he had, because as predicted it has been a complete disaster. It’s not Emma’s fault, he’s sure of that much. When his dad had started talking about Paul’s...moods as a kid, Paul could see the way her fists had clenched and he’d tried to move the conversation to other lanes. If he could just keep the topics light (if he could just be fucking normal for once in his goddamn life) then maybe-maybe things would work out alright. But then his dad has misgendered him and, well, it all sort of blew up a bit from there. 

While Emma and his father had yelled at each other, Paul had stayed quiet. When his father asked if Paul was really going to let Emma talk to him like that, he had stayed quiet. Even when John Matthews left the restaurant with water dripping down his shirt Paul had stayed quiet, save for the tap tap tap of his fists against one another under the table. Emma’s anger is loud, it is swearing and insults and offers of violence, and right now Paul isn’t sure what to do with it. Any other time he might have laughed at her offer, made a joke of his own (is she joking? He can’t tell) but right now he doesn’t have it in him. Instead he shakes his dead, pointedly does not look around the restaurant to see if people are staring at the mess he has made of things and whispering. 

“Can we just go home, please?” he asks, and his voice, too, is quiet.