#give them the strength to hold on!
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"Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I have never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart." ⬨
#cloisedit#smallvilleedit#dcedit#dctvedit#tvedit#televisiongifs#dailyfilmtvgifs#tvarchive#dailyflicks#otpsource#chewieblog#userbbelcher#junkfooddaily#myedit#dc#smallville#clark kent#lois lane#clark x lois#Lois Lane is independent and she is brave and she is strong#but Clark gives her strength too#he allows her to be vulnerable and let her guard down after spending a lifetime keeping it up#it’s why she runs every time things get serious between them#but ultimately she knows he will always wait for her#he will always be at her side and she can hold on to him and he can support her just like she supports him#it’s one thing to SAY it but this is him DOING it - he's showing her she that she DOESN’T have to do everything alone#even walk down the aisle to marry him#they’ll walk TOGETHER because that’s how they’ll do everything - as a Team#the little reassuring hand squeeze while they walk is EVERYTHING#soz for the ramble they just get me in my feelings
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This clip from Love is War but its Izuku and Katsuki and they both are totally trying their best to win
#both of them have the intent to win at the end. actually.#both of them first initially exert full strength but after getting tired quickly#they just keep holding hands and pretending they're giving their all#they start wondering if the other is just getting tired or they are actually stronger#but nope they're keeping this up just to hold hands. fucking losers they are.#they end up breaking the table instead from sheer embarrassment#oh and if u want plot accuracy- they would use their left hands with no quirks for this. truly fair and square you know. like proper rivals#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#bkdk#dkbk#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#dekubaku
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Metal as hell that the only person implied to be able to satisfy sukuna is the closest thing to his own modern reincarnation
HELL yeah, it's really about finding yourself, finding that person who gets u in a way that no one else does, can. it's about being able to show yourself, truly experience being urself in ur entirety, living to ur entirety, letting go of ur shackles and freeing urself because. it's. you. and you're able to simply be and have that reciprocated. able to finally fill that little hole that gapes in ur chest and is a weight over u, bc it's all so boring boring boring and unfulfilling. but now. there's. finally something that makes every bit of you blaze and feel like it's worth living. you're not alone.
#they're just. man#f.ask#it's that right. having to live ur entire life with a feeling of inadequacy. unbelonging#and it IS that#no matter if they're ultrahuman#how is a god supposed to fit in to a human life.#if not by giving up their godhood#by giving up part of their self. their identity. of their desires#being Too Much for everything else. where one desperately tries to give himself to them entirely vs the other who opts for restraint#(one who casts away his humanity willingly vs one who thinks he's not allowed it)#but they're. still who they are. they can't change that. still unfit. still desirous and in desperate need of connection as well.#and then u meet this other person and it's like oh! u're! like me! and u're finally finally able to share that. finally finally able to#show yourself. Express ur desires to their full extent finally finally finally. god.#sukugo are just when two weirdos find each other u know. the feeling of belonging. an exhale. the weight lifting off ur shoulders.#sukugo#jjk#but it's doomed!!!!!! bc being the strongest MEANS being alone. and they both hold on to their strength. but that's not allowed.#u can't have both things. being understood means not being the strongest. and for them that's tantamount to death
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This is the first time I've been able to watch an episode of maws as it airs so here's my take on S2E6!
• Clark is actually being mean and sassy and I love him for it like yes bby please wake up in a better mood next time you were kidnapped not murdered
• I didn't realize in the preview clip that aired a few days ago but Kara's eyes grey out even when she says "model citizen" at the beginning of the episode!
• the look when Clark sees Lois : (( the poor boy didn't even have time to process the breakup before he got knocked out and thrown into space but also she was the first thing he thought of when Kara asked if anyone cared for the real him :((((
• Clark says ow when he fights with Kara over the Polaroid! It's so natural that it took me a second to realize that he probably doesn't normally feel pain from playful roughhousing??
• the fact that Clark immediately clocks Kara the way Jimmy clocked him and Lois. The little shimmer in his eye when he asks if she likes him
• "what, no, what? I don't even know what that means. Stop being all weird with your stupid earth brain" this whole sequence makes me REALLY REALLY look forward to a post-brainiac maws where Clark and Kara can just be cousins in metropolis together (which I fully believe the maws crew will make happen)
• Cousin snowball fight I cryyy
• For a second I almost believed we were actually going to see space traveling and new planets but makes sense
• ok it's been lowkey before this episode but is Clark actually kryptonian super saiyan I don't know the lore
• Kara actually did genocide while brainwashed oh no
• I'm sorry I'm sorry WHAT Jimmy and Lois both 1. Found MM and the brain from the OTHER DIMENSION they traveled to and 2. WENT INTO SPACE TO FIND CLARK my joy is unending I love this show
• Clark is actually going to be used as a weapon nooo poor boy just wants to help I can't handle a world where the maws version of Clark Kent is a murderer :((((
Final thoughts, love! The maws crew is already doing such a good job of making Clark and Kara feel like cousins and I'm so happy she's in the show even though I was honestly hesitant about it at first. The next episode is called Olsen's eleven and once again I am. My joy is immeasurable. I love this show. I love that we get to experience it every week instead of all at once because now I get to comb through all the small animation details while I waitt!!! I'm just sad there were no phones in this episode because HOW will I know if it's still Monday may 9th now???
#i mean seriously at one point it was november 11th they could throw ANYTHING at us at ANY time#and i didnt even talk about how clark got so happy when he found out his moms name is Lara like :((#give this man a fortress of solitude he needs to have something he can hold onto#i do love how he pushed back on the catch memory being about repression#but like IS IT?#be so real with me how do you think the maws crew will play the repression/true self thing#personally i'd be like “its not repression for me to learn how to not break someone in half when i hug them??”#and post-brainiac they will probs have kara antics about reigning in her strength so yay#my adventures with superman#maws#maws season 2#maws spoilers#maws season 2 spoilers#my adventures with superman season 2 spoilers#my adventures with superman spoilers
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actually the way people treat a shadow dragon rook that chose to save treviso is so fucked up. literally what the fuck is wrong with all of you
#dragon age#from a roleplay perspective. you have to choose between a city that DEFINETELY does not have the strength to withstand the attack#or your own city. with your own people. but who has A LOT of other people to fend off the attack.#and my rook does the moral math and is like. okay we have to go to treviso. because they need us more.#and i trust the shadow dragons to hold off until we arrive.#and then he gets here and EVERYTHING has gone to shit. and everyone is GOING OFF on him and blaming him for the situation.#neve basically tells him to fuck off and gives him the cold shoulder when she comes back#and tells him TO HIS FACE that she doesn't think he cares about minrathous. HEY NEVE! THAT'S HIS HOME TOO. THE HELL.#that goes for the rest of the companions btw. like all of them are worried for neve after the attack.#where's that energy for rook who had to MAKE the call?#sorry i just. what the hell man.#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#shadow dragon rook
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You know what would be neat
In an AU where JGY grows up in the Jin (JGS being forced to accept him early in some way or another) and there are vampires
JGS is a vampire and so is Meng Shi. Madam Jin is human. As a result, JGY is a fullblooded born vampire while JZX is a dhampir
It would be really funny if people within the very vampire-heavy/vampire-as-aristocracy society look at JZX and JGY together and immidiactly choose to adress their woes to JGY.
Because JGY is all vampire, pointy ears and greyish skin and gaunt face and all, while JZX looks utterly out of place among the vampires because he looks like a normal human with fangs
And this infuriates JGS because JZX is his heir and JGY is a bastard lmao
Lol ok, idk if you meant for this to be hilarious, but it's just so funny to me to think that JGY finally could be considered of better "pedigree" than this brother for their society's standards and it's pissing JGS off so badly XD.
I can imagine this as a world where vampires are very few but very elite ala Vampire Hunter D, so JGS married Madam Jin as a sort of social or political move, like an alliance with a powerful human family idk, but also got MS pregnant, and despite her being very low in their hierarchy, she was still a full vampire and thus, the rules demand that their son be acknowledged since full blooded vampires are rare/hard to conceive/not very fertile/etc.
Except a bastard is very much NOT part of his agreement with the powerful human family he is supposed to be an ally to now (and whose fortune/political standing he now shares lol), so it's all very tense in his household now bc, as a son of a lawful marriage, JZX should be the sole heir... only he's a dhampir and, while not looked down upon bc they are still better than full mortals, someone like him would normally be considered lesser than his full blooded vampire brother.
It's so goddamned ironic that here is where JGY would finally be seen as the "right" Jin and the one the gentry would consider one of them :'D.
Now, it'd be interesting to see why JGS is upset at this development. It could be bc he legit loves JZX and not JGY and thus it's all a matter of his favorite son being given his rightful place despite of his half-blood nature. Or bc it endangers his alliance with the humans and he has to remind everybody of who his heir is every time there's the slightest insinuation that both his sons would inherit, or worse-- that of course his pure blooded son should be the one inheriting, how lucky he was to still have a vampire son despite marrying a human, surely he wouldn't defy tradition and taint his noble family by having a dhampir as head of the next generation when a perfect fully vampire Jin son is right there :')))))
It'd also be interesting to see how the brothers' dynamics would be, bc while things behind closed doors could go very much like canon (probably with MS being a concubine or something), when in public, it's clear that they would not be treated equally, if not having JGY be privileged in their social circle. How would that the boys' perception of themselves and each other be? Sorta like "no matter what ppl say, I am dad's heir and favorite son" or "dad may love you more, but everybody knows who is the weird one here"... or maybe they actually find solace in each other, one being there for the other when their family/society reminds them that they are inherently different and should be treated as such, only feeling like they can truly be equals when they are alone with each other.
It's a very fascinating scenario, let me tell you! I love me some vampires and I love me some Jin bros feels, so I'm so in with this :D
#mdzs#jin guangyao#jin zixuan#vampire au#there's also the fact of what abilities they even have and how being a dhampir affect that#if there's things that only full vampire can do like super strength or something#and not having certain powers or have them diminished could put even more into question jzx's capacity to continue the jin legacy#or if on the other hand it gives him more advantages like not being so subseptible to sunlight#and if jgs would use that as his excuse to why jzx is his heir despite being a half-blood#like he has improved his bloodline#and if ppl can see right through his bullshit bc maybe dhampirs are not that rare#since vamps be having it hard to conceive with their own so mingling with humans is the second best option#and if so then maybe the social position of dhampirs is not that different from pure blooded vampires#and it's only the most 'close minded' purist the ones holding jgy above jzx and giving jgs a hard time for his chose heir#and what about humans?#would the human elite be hyping jzx bc he can be the link between them???#so many possibilties!!!
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sophia's time in redcliffe is such an emotional roller coaster I feel so bad for her lol
morning: village is saved with minimal casualties. people look at her with admiration and gratitude rather than fear. several tricky political situations successfully navigated, irving would be so proud. really getting the hang of this saving the day thing! :) sounds like some drama up at the castle, almost makes a person happy to not have a traditional family, phew glad that's not my problem! the boy she likes professes his love for her in front of a stunning view over redcliffe castle in the most adorable and soul-affirming way, a moment that she'll look back to later in life when she's happy in herself and say 'that. that was what changed everything, that is my anchor in hope'. aw yeah everything is coming up sophia amell
by lunchtime: her fuckup little brother (who is older than her) is in a dungeon and has reached dizzying heights of fuckup even she had not believed him capable of. she finds the righteous anger she's been using to block out everything else she feels around him can't survive his sad tired eyes and now everything is Complicated. at BEST they're going to kill him oh fuck oh fuck. isolde feared her child being sent to the circle so much she did all of this instead. teagan has been so kind and courteous the whole time, and he 'can't imagine the boy as a mage, of all things'. ha. ahaha. get in bitch it's time to finally face all that childhood and systemic trauma you've been pretending doesn't even affect you that much this is going to suck
(you love the Circle. you love the Circle. you love the Circle. love isn't love if it doesn't bleed. right? right. (alistair gave her the rose so carefully, with such attention and intention, so the thorns wouldn't tear her open. the petals are soft against the pad of her thumb.) she doesn't let jowan out of the dungeons because she remembers what happened the last two times she took her eyes off him for five fucking minutes, and she didn't protect him then -- she'll do it now, this time she'll stand up for him, and that will fix it, surely. SURELY. we're bargaining staging this for all it's worth baby. her love is what dooms him to tranquility, ultimately. that she didn't let go of him, this time. and she'll live with knowing that for decades. augh)
she goes to her dad irving for help and he provides it with characteristic aplomb -- connor is freed, day saved yet again! (there's something so funny and like... immensely first year college student coded about the 'uh. this is a lot. let me call my dad real quick' vibes going on here lol) but irving won't meet her eyes whenever jowan's name is spoken and doesn't pick up on her tentative hinting, the way their conversations usually go, doesn't initiate a Clever Plot like she thought he might, and it all turns to ash in her mouth. she's just saved a family, and didn't even understand she herself had one until it went all to shit and she realized no one else would ever save it -- no one else would never even think to try. the templars would close the doors and burn the place down with her family still inside, and no one would stop them.
she looks at irving's impassive face which for once offers no guidance, with a child's grief and terror as they first understand that a parent's hands can't fix everything, that they're only human with human limitations too. all at once she understands that he let go of jowan in his heart completely the moment he found out the templars had conclusive proof against him -- that as first enchanter you would go mad if you grieved every child lost that way, you have to put up some kind of framework in your mind to rationalize it and make it bearable. (and how could she blame him -- she did the same thing, after all. she's just less practiced with sticking to it yet.)
it's the first time she feels deeply how she was not abandoned when irving sent her away from the circle, because she's seen what his abandonment looks like now. and how could you ever know how to feel about that? that your father loves you so deeply he wanted to free you, and arranged for the disposal of your brother like so much radioactive waste with his other hand? that they all live in a system where what might have happened if he didn't could have been so much worse?
she looks and looks at irving's profile and thinks could you have let go of me in your heart as easily, if I stepped wrong one time, if I were less brilliant, if I had worked less hard to be perfect? and he turns his face away from her and doesn't answer. maybe he sent her to the wardens so he'd never have to answer that question. maybe that was the best he could do. maybe one day she'll be allowed to forgive him for it.
#thank GOD for alistair and his core strength b/c I think sophia could have fallen to some weird places without him to hold her up lol#oc: sophia amell#dragon age#dragon age origins#I. love her. my canon has always been alistair giving her the rose up by the windmill at dawn with just the two of them#and she's just like. dazed into honesty lol completely disarmed and shredded of emotional armor#she does forgive irving eventually but she has some dark moments of the soul on the way to denerim#congrats to jowan for being SO fucking pathetic that sophia can't even stay mad at him past like two sentences exchanged
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WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY
Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺
This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka
Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!
Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine
AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING
Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course
Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters
Carpenter: maybe it was the government
Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere
LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!
Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....
Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))
GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!
I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)
Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)
Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...
DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?
The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....
I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....
This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...
NAMII 😭😭😭
Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...
I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way
The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny
AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!
#OOOH GRANDPA TEASE!!! he wanted to see luffy too?? omg and he owes garp a favor so he is going to kill him... alright then....#robin attacking FIRST and ZORO coming to her defense!!! CHEFS KISS!!! INCREDIBLE#my GOD!!! ROBIN WANTING TO LEAVE HER PAST BEHIND BC SHE TRULY HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THEM AAAAHHHH#this is so good... aokiji had to end crocodile and he still has a debt to someone (garp?) AND smoker told him stuff about luffy too#kokoro is such an mvp... be careful with the government agents she says.... hell yeah they should do that#the people in water 7 just giving advice to the pirates akdhaksjak sure go fix your boat but down there#robin laughing like ufufufu is so cute... also kalifa knowing everything bc she is literally a gov agent 💀 ICEBURG WAKE UP!!!#lucci pulling out the ship of theseus response akdhakaj conundrum solved everyone!!!#usopp is so heartbreaking already... beaten he goes to franky to get his money back knowing he will lose bc he wants to fix the merry... go#zoro cutting steel like its nothing... yeahhhhh also does luffy think the ship and usopp are like sanji and the baratie??#he wants to sacrifice himself for it but doesn't realize his life is the treasure and not the thing... luffy realizing this is not worth it#the fight was insane.... usopp feels useless and is enmeshed with the merry so he won't let it go and tells luffy does not care when he doe#so luffy gets mad at usopp for lying and not understanding what is going on and says he is not a carpenter (true but hurts) so he is nothin#god it is so bad... sanji breaking p the fight is so important AFTER zoro says to calm down and talk but they rile each other up...#THE DIALOGUE IS INSANE!!!! USOPP IN DENIAL AND LUFFY TAKES ALL OF HIS BAIT IT'S JUST SO AJDBAKSNSKN AND THE ONLY LIES ARE WHAT USOPP THINKS#ABOUT LUFFY!!!! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!! HE JUST FEELS!! HE SAW MERRY!! THE ONLY ONE!!!#luffy just laying on the hammock for hours... telling nami usopp wouldnt give up his life for an argument... then he only needs to fight...#is luffy fighting usopp just so he can de stress kind of??? like he is letting him get his punches in and then he will come back#once he thinks things through... like nami did... and what sanji ends up doing too... like just give him what he wants#luffy likes fighting friends even and this is the only fight he doesn't want.... the merry crying GOD!!!!#the impact dial... it hurts them both.... jesus.... luffy got two hits in but those were enough.... they are making nami cry SANJI KILL THE#everyone is crying but sanji and zoro akdjsks yeah luffy got him what he wanted... he can keep the ship but he can't beat him#and after all if strength is made by conviction luffy knows he is right and usopp is just in denial... so of course he would lose#franky reveal and Robin assassin reveal at the same time.... just remembered when usopp asked her specialty and robin said assassinations 😭#luffy nami adventures hell yeah.... and theres even more after the aqua laguna... LETSGOOOOO#goddamn you can see the thread of kuzan finding robin with the strawhats to then cp9 forcing her to act in water seven....#franky acting weird because he is worried about iceburg... i know it...#iceburg: its weird youre working for the government... but thats for the audience to worry about. not for me#pluton was built on water seven ✍️✍️✍️ also iceburg saying weapons are bad no matter who holds them... yeah franky would agree#reading one piece
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The journey to saying it, and having it be said.
+ Bonus
#rina#hsmtmts#OK so it’s like Gina knew he needed time to be able to say what and how he feels right she’s know that from the start#and Ricky needed to grow into being able to say it first and meaning it and saying it for the right reasons to the RIGHT person#but he’s always wanted Gina to say how she feels right like he wouldn’t let her stay closed off he wouldn’t let her hide behind her walls#he gives her the strength and courage to feel what she feels#it was always about Gina holding Ricky off until he was ready to say it and it was about him pushing her to open her heart#and then they met in the middle with him going first this time instead of her which is what she wanted#I have a lot of thoughts about this that are still incoherent so if anyone else has any thoughts PLEASE share#this came to me like a bolt of lightning everything about them is so intentional#it’s about second chances getting something right with the right person for the right reasons at the right time#it’s about the GROWTH!
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As an orc player this chapter was *chefs kiss* we love to see it
#me cheering on the sideline every time we get to use our orcish strength#yes let me hold up boulders and talk about orcish burial traditions#yeah we got to talk about the elves too but I don’t care about them rn kdkskdj#speaking of elves tyril is so hot when he’s mad and worried#give me more of that#🥰🥰🥰#also imtura is my queen truly all her side quests are my favorite#if it wasn’t for one broody blue man I’d probably romance her tbh#blades of light and shadow#playchoices
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tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go
klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family
get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b
details and just the lines hehe
#clerichs.png#my artwork#original character#original art#original illustration#digital art#digital painting#digital illustration#dnd character#oc#oc illustration#im so unnormal about him.#he got hurt soo badly in isolation... thats where all the scars in his ref came from </3#this portrait is of the one scar his goddess did not give him.... </3#tfw ur jealous sea goddess lover pits you against other pirates and sea monsters to fight for ur life and test ur devotion#and she promised to love you wholly only for u to realize she doesn't understand or know what love is#and only wanted it bc everyone else who had love seemed so happy and she wanted that too#so after she destroyed everything you loved (literally your entire world) she merely treats u as a possession for 20 years#and you don't know how to ask for love because you don't know how to love either so you resent her and everything and everyone#leading rage to build up within you and you willfully slaughtering so many things because you cant handle your emotions and pain#and after deflating and sinking into apathy a rogue priest manages to break ur exterior and touch you deeply enough to let you love again#and because of him you're able to begin breaking free of everything and you lose everything again but this time#this time you wake up in a crate of fish to outstretched hands and people who love you as family even after learning who you are/were#filling you with strength and willpower even as your goddess lover comes back swearing she loved you and loves you still#and she tortures you and threatens to take everything away again if you don't come back to her but because of your love for everyone#and their love for you youre able to hold fast long enough for them to break you out#his goddess made a copy of him by warping the body and soul of a naive young man in an attempt to replace him and fill the hole in her hear#he had to literally kill the darkest version of himself that hurt everyone and he laid him to rest... catharsis if ive ever seen it#as i said. im so normal about him <3 the guy i project onto the most ever#klaus lierstark
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i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness
my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me
i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3
#mar.txt#still very much upset about losing him,but it's kind of faded for numbness now#still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was#he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone#he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all,his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were#getting my attention so i would come to him,then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make#it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to#take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to#move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me.#despite everything,he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it,but. he was purring,maybe until the moment he finally passed.#he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him.#i'm glad that,at least,he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out#that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have.#i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even#despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain.#ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his#entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening.#i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home.#vent post? i guess?
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Finished my rewatch of Madoka Magica + Rebellion, and God.... I am so not normal about Madohomu. The way their fates are inherently intertwined with each other, the way their actions directly influence what choices they end up making, the way they both sacrifice themselves for one another... They are in my brain constantly.
The fact that it's Homura's countless attempts at saving her and suffering for her sake, that gives Madoka the courage and motivation to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a God. Homura's sacrifice for Madoka's sake pushing her to do the same with no hesitation or fear. While she spent the entire series being too hesitant and scared to do the right thing, at least in her own perspective. But Homura gives her the resolve and strength to do what's right, no matter how scary it is. Madoka is not scared anymore, now that she knows how much terror Homura went through despite how scared and hurt she was. If Homura can do so much for her sake, she can do this for her in return.
The fact that it's Madoka's unknowing confession to how much that choice of sacrifice has cost her, that pushes Homura to reject God Madoka's wish. Homura is willing to bear any suffering, as long as her beloved Madoka is happy. She was suffering in silence for so long in this new world, having to live in a reality without Madoka as she knew her. With nothing but her memories to be her comfort and her curse. But she pushed herself to go on for Madoka. As she always did. It's only when she learns of Madoka's true feelings in her labyrinth, does she gain the resolve to rebell against it all. To reject it. To do what's right. To ensure Madoka's happiness.
All of the choices they made that moved the narrative along was... for each other. And it's so incredibly tragic, because every single action they took shows how much they do love and care for each other. Even in different timelines, with different memories, in different worlds. They are connected. But their love became their downfall.
Madoka sacrificed her own happiness and life to ensure that everyone else - especially Homura - gets the life of peace and happiness they deserve. But it's a life she cannot experience, nor remember in her god-hood. Homura ended up betraying the wishes of the one she loves, accepting the fact that Madoka will hate her one day. She's not happy in the world she created as a demon. But it's a world where she knows Madoka has everything she wants. And that's good enough for her.
CAN YOU TELL HOW INSANE I AM ABOUT THEM
Can't wait for the upcoming movie, my god
#mia babbles#I LOVE TRAGEDIES#i needed to get this out of my system#because i am going insane#love as a neutral force that can bring both good and bad is my bread and butter#and no i do not view as madoka OR homura in the right#that's the tragedy of it all#madoka is not right for choosing to throw herself away for the sake of others#there are countless hints in the narrative that this choice has cost her greatly#and i mean.... she says it outright. that madoka in the flower field was real. just without her memories#which is tragic in and of itself#and homura is not right for ignoring madoka's own wants and wishes#and she's not happy by that choice either#she is MISERABLE in the end of rebellion. girl is barely holding it together#i mean she literally calls herself the devil come on#homura hates herself#they are both suffering for the other's sake#because they love each other so much they are willing to suffer for their sake#DO YOU SEE#THEIR LOVE IS THE FORCE THAT GIVES THEM STRENGTH BUT IT BRINGS THEM PAIN ALL THE SAME#GRRRAAH
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Recent imageys
#photo diary#clouds of course.. always taking pictures of clouds lol. And a beautiful son going outside in his little box lol#he likes to sit in the sun. I don't like to take him out since he runs around trying to eat plants usually. But if I give him a box or some#specific spot to sit in then he'll usually just lay there and not be as antsy. Though still has to be constantly supervised. if I look away#for even a moment he instantly sees a Plant Eating Opportunity. Which he'll PRETEND he's just going to sniff it at first but as soon as#it's close enough to his face he's like 'HA! tricked you.. B I T E !!' =_=#also large strawberry. large dandelion. and heart shaped spinach leaf. All of these photo diary type images are thrown into one large#folder and I thought it was just an interesting occurence that there were three seperate similar looking pictures of me holding things#so why not also put them all next to each other. AND CHEESEHWEELS!!! The first time I've ever seen a large real cheesehweel#in real life... it's like meeting a celebrity... (< context is that i like to use cheesewheel imagery for certain things and in games I#always take screenshots anytime there's a cheesewheel. like I collected the cheesehweels in skyrim and had a basement full of#hundreds of them (not spawned with cheats. genuinely collected). and I name some of my game player characters 'cheesewheel' often (my mii#on the wii is named that. etc. etc.)). so truly exciting times indeed.... oh how I wish I wouldnt get in trouble with grocery store staff#if I were to pick one up off the counter and roll it around (I probably couldn't.. I tried to lift a corner of one and they seemed very#heavy). hrmm#Then also these little purple flowers I found growing wildly and thought they were very cute#And some pastrie type things from a bakery... which weren't that good actually. Only one of them was. but alas..#It was from a family event sort of thing so I didn't pay for them lol. still fancy LOOKing at least. even if not actually Good#Still have just been trying to write.. but I got my updated covid shot so I've been weird feeling and just resting grrrrghhh#Trying to get back to doing a few things.#giant cheesewheel give me strength and power...
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rewatching cobra kai for the 100th time - have we ever talked about the iron eagle scene? yeah it's funny when the larusso auto ad cuts in and everything, but have we talked about the specific scene that's playing? after a horrible last 24 hours?
“a bunch of things must have gone wrong if you’re listening to this. whatever happened, i know you must be real scared.” johnny - drunk - sits up, focuses a little harder. “right now, you’re probably filled with all the doubts in the world. but i’m gonna tell you something: God doesn’t give people things he doesn’t want ‘em to use.” johnny flashes back to leading his cobras in warmups. “...and he gave you…the touch.” he flashes back to hitting daniel’s bad leg in the tournament. “it’s a power you have inside of you-” he starts borderline crying. flashes back to the incident at the mini mart. “down there where you keep your guts, boy.” to miguel’s face as johnny’s defending him. “it’s all you need to blast your way in and get back what they took from you.”
you can see the hurt and the exhaustion in his whole face. idk that whole moment is just so special to me. he's playing his favorite movie that he's probably seen 1,000,000 times, and it's like he's hearing those words in a new way (before daniel cuts in). a bunch of things have gone wrong. he probably is scared, underneath it all. is this all his life will ever be? God doesn't give people things he doesn't want them to use. he's good at karate, it's all he's ever really known. he should use it. he's also got heart - he should use it. he knows it's somewhere inside him, buried so far down it's unrecognizable now. down where he keeps his guts. guys i-
#like i get the comedic relief of the BANZAI!! cutting it off#it sends me every time#but also this is so the essence of everything johnny needed and still honestly needs to hear#please give us soft johnny moments s6 please i'm begging#hoooo boy i'm in my jlaw feels tonight#i need someone to wrap him up and hold him until it doesn't hurt anymore#and for them to mean it. to not pity him. to see his strength and to want to be the one to heal his scars anyways#to show him he doesn't have to do any of this life on his own :(#johnny#ck#johnny lawrence#tagging this in hopes it reaches it's target audience#johnny haters dni#lmao#cobra kai
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I'M AT A CON :D
#clai speaks#please give me the strength and courage to compliment cosplayers#a lady pointed me out to her kids bc i was holding my zorua plushie asking them ''who's that pokemon!! :D''#the kid forgot who it was though GDJBFJF I THOUGHT IT WAS A CUTE INTERACTION
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