#girlies who wanna kill each other but can't live without the other😩

[swolpirate]

Did anyone else feel like vampire world toxic Bubbline had the same energy as Griddlehark😭

[lostfracturess]

CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP NICI YOU ATE AND DID IT AGAIN, THE NEW CHAPTER IS SO FUCKING GOOD AND DELICIOUS AND IT HURTS ME IN A GOOD WAY AND IN A BAD WAY IT WAS KINDA A ROLLERCOASTER FOR ME 😭😭😭😭😭 trying to calm down and collect my thoughts PHEW really sorry for all of my upcoming incoherent messss, firstly, wanna thank you for this amazing chapter, you're just doing THIS again again, constantly improving your skills, i don't know, you're such an amazing writer i am on my knees 😭😭😭 thank you again so muchhhhhh for your hard work, believer all the work and effort you put in all your stories are showing!!! truly fantastic 😭😭😭 secondly, well i don't know even what to say, i just think this chapter made me in love with your gojo even more (didn't think it might be possible but here we are...) he's so so soft and thoughtful and considerate and caring in this and previous chapter it makes me BAWL MY EYES I LITERALLY LOVE HIM AND HIS LOVE SOO MUCH 😭 it AMUSES me also that he's willing to do everything for a s&c reader and he loves her in all possible love languages and it seems there aren't enough ways of him to express his love. no, one lifetime isn't enough for him 😔 i don't know this folder in the library made me fucking cry, that is SOOOOOO i don't know even why i was so moved, he's putting all the effort into loving her 😭😭😭😭 and also the way he both fell first and harder???? we love this man being so pathetically in love- i absolutely adore him. secondly, s&c reader girl. well, i really don't have much to say, just because THE SITUATION IS SO COMPLICATED AND DIFFICULT I WANNA KMS. but i absolutely ADORE how you depicted all of this controversy going on inside her head, her confused feelings and thoughts, she feels so alive and relatable to some extent, just because you describe us life! and there aren't purely black and white in our lifes, that's way it's so tempting for me. our poor reader girlie deserves a hot cocoa cup and reading some kafka book beneath the blanket (with gojo obv) and just RELAX! she's si strong but i am really afraid, because she can break at any moment 🥺 i really do hope one day she opens up as well to satoru and share even a tiny bit of her fears to satoru, it would be much easier, though of course she wouldn't want to do it, just because to take care of him and it kills me 🥲 i understand her anger and frustration, and that sudden (actually not so sudden, all her pent up emotions just BURST OUT!!!!) snap at satoru, she was just mad at him, at herself, at fact she doesn't have a proper student life, and that research, her lack of sleep and migraines, all of this caught up to her and that's completely understandable, everyone has such moments :( then again she should RELAX. thirdly, i am in love with their relationships and interactions. each chapter describe them from a different side, ane i am so thankful that we can see various sides of their relationship, just like in life. i love them so much. once again. they own my heart. fourthly, the car smut that was so fucking scrumptious tears rolled down my thigh © you really ate this one nici, as always 😭 i am a huge sucker for car sex scenes idk even why 🥲🥲🥲🥲 and fifthly, I Am Afraid for that family dinner 😩 will his mother be alive after that? will EVERYONE??? there's so much room for angst i am waitinggggf (and soft moments as well obviously but who am i fooling...) and alsoooo ALL THEIR CONFESSIONS IN THIS CHAPTER I FUCKING CRIED AND ESPECIALLY YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THEM AS OPPOSITES BUT THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER??? shattered my heart <3 ALSO thank you again for bringing up and discussing such important themes as addiction and abuse (i think we'll get more of this in the next chapter...) ig that's all for my overall thoughts about the chapter, now it's time for my thoughts during the chapter 😭 again THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HARD WORK!

"At the sound of your voice, Satoru's head whipped around. His anger seemed to dissipate as his gaze landed on you, a slow smile forming on his lips" OH MY FUCKING GOD HE'S SO WHIPPED I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

he cares so much for s&c reader, awwwwww 🥹🥹🥹 and she cares for him as well to this extent, i am so weeakkkk

i feel very bad for suguru when he's watching satoru and s&c reader gotta admit 😞😞 now when we know his thoughts :(

"He straightened up, snatching the drug test from the table and grabbing his jacket. "I'll be back in a few hours," he called over his shoulder with a quick wave as he headed for the door. "Try not to miss me too much." SHE REALLY SENT HIM AWAY I CAN'T 😭😭😭 WHAT A WOMAN

"You didn't know why this time felt different, why you couldn't turn a blind eye as you had before. Maybe it was the project, or maybe it was the unfamiliar vulnerability that had burrowed under your skin since that day back home" our poor baby is just so shocked and distressed after seeing satoru back then, when he nearly died in her arms, her feelings are totally understandable 😭😭

"You could see the shame burning in his eyes, the self-loathing that ate away at him" STOP THIS I AM BEGGING SUGURU JUST DON'T WHYYY AND IT'S ONLY THE BEGGING OF THE CHAPTER I AM SCARED

"I can tell," you said, a faint smile touching your lips. "By the look on your face, the way you look at me sometimes. You don't have to apologize for your feelings, Suguru. You can't control them." You paused, your heart heavy. "I know that all too well." she's so right, i hope these words will help suguru heal a little bit, as i said previously, that's very respectful and considerate of him! he's obviously not the type of a person to pressure anyone especially s&c reader to anything

s&c reader and her friends' interactions, love them all so much (especially maki)!

"You looked up to find Satoru standing there. His hands were tucked casually in the pockets of his perfectly tailored dress pants. Crisp white shirt, navy tie. His expression was unreadable — as always." he's sometimes kinda creepy 😭 still adore him.

"Maki rolled her eyes. "We'll head out," she announced, gathering her things with a pointed look in Satoru's direction. The scrape of her chair against the worn wooden floor was jarringly loud in the hushed library" WHAT IS HE DOING, HE JUST MADE THEM ALL UNCOMFORTABLE AND GO OUT OF THE ROOM 😭 i can't with him

"Inside, neatly organized notes and summaries of the lectures you'd missed stared back at you, each page filled with carefully highlighted passages and detailed diagrams. Brightly colored sticky notes peeked out from between the pages, explanations and key points meticulously written in Satoru's messy handwriting" WAIT WHAT HSHSHSHSSHSH HE JUST WHAT WHAT HE DID HE WROTE ALL THE LECTURES SHE MISSED????? OR WHAT JUST ASKED FOR THEM??? idk it made me tear up, that's sooo i am sorry i don't even have words, i would basically melt at this point 😭😭😭😭 i love him so much it's impossible, like the effort he put into all of this? speaks VOLUMES

"You flipped through the folder. It wasn't just notes. He'd even gone through the old exams, the ones you'd failed due to, well, everything that had been going on in your life lately — him mostly to be fair" you know what? i am in love with the way he loves s&c reader. that's so nice, kind and considerate of him, everyone needs such a person in their lives 🥹 he's so cute i almost forgot all his drug and commitment issues-

"You grabbed your half-empty, now lukewarm coffee cup, and before you could even think, the contents splashed across his smug face." QUEEN SLAYED! SHE SAID ENOUGH OF GOJO'S MAKING A FOOL OUT OF US! IT'S BEEN ENOUGH! the lesson should be learnt.

"Ouch," he said, that infuriating smirk returning to his lips. "Is this how you plan to treat me in our marriage? Because I have to say, it's turning me on." gojo, everything she does turns you on, who are you trying to fool 🙄

the way they are both SO stubborn and it's always a battle of minds and wills with each other between them ❤️ absolutely love this dynamic

"No, I mean—" You reached out, cupping his cheek. His skin was rough with stubble. "You don't have to do this, Satoru. I'll accept you as you are. Addict and all. I don't care." i feel my heart's just been ripped out and thrown to the floor 😀😀

"Somehow, you felt that your unconditional love for Satoru and your desperate need to see him whole again was tearing you apart as surely as his addiction was tearing him apart" so nicely worded 😩 she loves him and seeing that his addiction destroys him tears her apart as well 😞 and there's nothing she could actually do to make him feel better, i don't know honestly how to describe these feelings, it's so complicated :( but accepting addiction is difficult anyways, the consequences would pain you every time. it feels like a doomed circle: she wants him to be whole, but he isn't whole without drugs and the cycle repeats again and again

"Listen to me, Satoru," you paused, waiting until his eyes locked with yours, until you were sure you had his full attention. The intensity of his gaze almost made you falter, but you pressed on. "You think you're the disease, but I think you're the cure. And I'll keep saying it, over and over again, until you start to see it too." the truth is (for me personally) he's both to her, not that i find it this bad (after all we will have a happy ending....will we, nici?..) and this is such a beautiful and all consuming form of self destruction 😩😩😩 they're both so madly in love with each other it's INSANE. i live for it

"No." He reached for your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, his palm warm and rough against your skin. "I'm in love." no you're stupid and in love

"God, you were so afraid and terrified of failing him, of not being strong enough to stand by him through this. Shouldn't you be stronger? Shouldn't you be able to handle this without falling apart?" nooo baby you're doing just fine 😭 sometimes even you're way too strong and you shouldn't bear all of the burden on your own (this is applicable for everyone) but AGAIN both her and satoru are so stubborn it makes me angry STOP DOING THAT, PLEASE TALK TO EACH OTHER AND SHARE YOUR BURDEN, DON'T BOTTLE UP YOUR EMOTIONS, they're gonna be the death of me, i swear 😭 you know i think she's too strong so she forgot how to be weak, but it's okay to admit your weaknesses, understand that you're not able to do something, just let go of it 😞 i hope she will understand that as well :( our strong girl

"You looked down, your heart sinking as you saw his picture on the home screen. It wasn't an obvious photo, but a candid shot you'd secretly taken of him" killing myself bye everyone 🤗💋

"Didn't want to admit that parents could be so cruel" WHEN WILL THIS STOP. I AM HURT. there's no way abuse could be even slightly justified towards anyone let alone CHILDREN. i am soooo angry rn

"Yuta, however, remained unconvinced. "Are we seriously considering this? Going to the party of the guy who assaulted our friend?" totally with yuta on this, that wouldn't be the smartest idea...

"You would deal with the consequences later, would find a way to make it up to Satoru somehow. For now, you needed this — needed to feel in control." i understand her feeling but that's too dangerous and i am scared of her 😭 maybe dr. handsome should come along as well, though ANOTHER violent beating either naoya or satoru's bank account won't survive

"And you meant it, with every goddamn fiber of your being. But seeing him like this, seeing the evidence of his struggle written in blood on his skin, it was hard not to feel a twinge of doubt — to feel that perhaps your efforts were not enough" this hurts me so fucking much, on one side is their wellbeing, and on the other... THEIR WELLBEING AS WELL 😭 she wants him to be clean, but the price is too high and consequences as well as the process are dreadful

"Because you think you're that awful?" he does and it kills me. it kills me that he doesn't see barely anything good in him, i am crying AGAIN and the way it probably angers him that he influences her (in a bad way as he thinks ofc) and he's so upset even now...😞😞😞

"Satoru chased after you. He managed to block your shot just in time, his hand slamming against the ball. "Steroids might not be enough. We could use tocilizumab or other anti-IL-6 agents, like in CAR-T therapies for blood cancers." i am sorry that's so hot of him to be this smart.

"Yeah, we need a clear intervention plan, something like a safety switch to destroy CAR-T cells if toxicity becomes unmanageable," you added, our voice breathless. i am sorry that's so hot of her to be this smart.

"Satoru looked up at you, his eyes dark. "So stubborn, yet so weak," he said, his fingers brushing lightly over your inner thigh. "Your body always betrays you, love. It can't resist me." LITERALLY THIS BASTARD SO HOT

"Naoya? Are you fucking kidding me?" Satoru's eyes narrowed. "You wanna go to a party thrown by the same fucker who tried to drug you? Have you lost your goddamn mind?" i understand s&c reader as well, but more with satoru on this, that's way too dangerous and he will be so worried and frustrated 🥺🥺🥺

"Some rational part of your brain screamed at you to stop, but it was drowned out by the roar of your emotions. You were tired, so goddamn tired of him wanting to protect you while he was literally falling apart at the seams" NO ANOTHER MISCOMMUNICATION I AM JUMPING OFF THE CLIFF, WHEN WILL THIS END

"And now what?" you exploded, the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them. "Should I just lock myself away? Never go out, never have any fucking fun, never live a normal goddamn life? I barely sleep, you know that? I'm constantly doing research, going to classes, studying for exams. I don't get to have the typical university experience, the friendships, the stupid parties. And now, the one time I want to feel like a normal fucking student being for once, you want to take that away from me too? Like you haven't already taken everything else?" she deserves all of it but not with that price 😞😞😞😞

I CAN'T DO ITTTTT SHE'S JUST SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED NOT EVEN WITH SATORU, IT'S ALL JUST COME INTO PLACE, EVERYTHING FELL ON HER 😭😭😭

"It's tearing me apart, being without you," he confessed. His brows knitted together, pain etched into every line of his face. "No matter how much time passes, no matter how hard I try to stay away, to move on, my heart will always belong to you. It beats for you, only for you. I'm so fucking lost without you, so empty, so incomplete—" i really am shattered and teary eyed at these words. left speechless.

"You were water in his hands, fluid and formless, sometimes losing your own shape in the tidal wave that was Satoru's love. You were rain in his storm, mist in his morning, ice in his winter. But it didn't matter. 

For you would gladly be formless in his hands if it meant being close to him. For he was the moon to your tides, the wind to your waves, the earth that carved your path. He brought motion to your stillness, depth to your shallows." THIS IS SO PERFECTLY WRITTEN I AM IN TEARS, JUST THEM COMPLEMENTING AND DESTROYING EACH OTHER SIMULTANEOUSLY, SO BEAUTIFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE AND DREADFUL IN THIS LOVE AND POWER

"Just as you were about to let go, a shrill ringing filled the car, making you shutter for a second. Satoru's phone, connected to the car's Bluetooth system, lit up the dashboard with an incoming call." 😭😭😭 THAT WAS SOOO OUT OF MOMENT

"You wanted to die right then and there." i think everyone would do (except dr. handsome)

"Next weekend would be fine. I trust you can spare us a few hours out of your busy schedule of debauchery and disrespect?" DEBAUCHERY AND DISRESPECT 😭😭😭😭 he's just a silly goofy cutie patootie 🥺💝

"You think I'd let you go alone to your parents?" the party is cancelled me thinks, but another "wonderful" weekend for satoru and s&c reader! i really am afraid.

ahhhh thank you so so much for your incredible message !! 😭😭😭 your words mean the world to me <33

i've read it yesterday while my boyfriend was cooking and i was smiling like a idiot at your message ahaha. he asked me what i was smiling at and i was like, you wouldn't understand lol.

didn't think the chapter would be such a rollercoaster for you, bc apparently not much was happening haha, expect like 8k words of car smut help. and omg, you don't know how much it means to me that you're saying i improve with every chapter :''))

i'm really trying to make the story better and better and learn a lot while writing it and it really means so much to me that it shows kinda ?? ahhh i'm so happy rn. you make my whole day, believe me <33

and yes satoru was so soft in this chapter, it's truly heartbreaking to write him in so much pain but also reader but ahhh i'm so weak for this trope of both being like on the verge of collapse but still do everything possible to at least make the other feel loved and happy :''))

am i'm so sorryyy for making u cry !!! ahhh kinda happy that the story touches you on such a level, but still !!! take care girl <33

and i'm so happy that i kinda got the complicated feelings for reader right ?? like i was rewriting her inner monologue parts again and again and was always like, this doesn't make sense but then again, these feelings are so complicated and often define rationality so it kinda fits that they are all messy and over. ahhh just so so happy that you got that characterization right, with just her bursting out all that pend up frustration !! that was really what i was going for <33

can't wait to write that FAMILY DINNER ahahha. that's gonna be so much delicious angst for me to write *evil laughter* <33

STOP THIS I AM BEGGING SUGURU JUST DON'T WHYYY AND IT'S ONLY THE BEGGING OF THE CHAPTER I AM SCARED

and omg, suguru is so hurt even from s&c perspective now wait until we see that scene from his perspective *more evil laughter*

gojo, everything she does turns you on, who are you trying to fool 🙄

lol this made me laugh out loud ahahah

the way they are both SO stubborn and it's always a battle of minds and wills with each other between them ❤️ absolutely love this dynamic

yeesss !! i also love that dynamic so much <33

the truth is (for me personally) he's both to her, not that i find it this bad (after all we will have a happy ending....will we, nici?..) and this is such a beautiful and all consuming form of self destruction 😩😩😩

the "will we, nici?" 😭😭😭 yes of course !!! idk why u question that all the time ?? everything fine, right ??? *evil laughter returns* but yeah, really the self destruction is just ahhhh, i love it, i probably shouldn't but i can't help it :'))

maybe dr. handsome should come along as well, though ANOTHER violent beating either naoya or satoru's bank account won't survive

girl you make so funny comments i can't 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but hmmmm maybeeee something is cooking !!

i really am shattered and teary eyed at these words. left speechless.

😭😭❤️❤️

THIS IS SO PERFECTLY WRITTEN I AM IN TEARS, JUST THEM COMPLEMENTING AND DESTROYING EACH OTHER SIMULTANEOUSLY, SO BEAUTIFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE AND DREADFUL IN THIS LOVE AND POWER

hahaha i'm SO GLAD u liked the water metaphor, i was so proud at myself for writing it lol.

thank you again for leaving me this lovely message and giving me insights of your reading experience, i'll forever cherish these messages and come back to them, really :'')) <33 hope you have a wonderful week and something good happens to you on the weekend, i'm manifesting that for you !! <33