#girl help i want to write bonkers dialogue so bad and also post things in order but sometimes that's mutually exclusive 😭😭😭

[no-psi-nan]

Romance chapter 2 finally chugging along and I cranked out 1.2k of it yesterday! Only missing the final bits and they SHOULD be easy (knock on wood) because Kusuo & Mikoto banter is just tons of fun!

But now that I have my new Akechi icon, I'm feelin' the carnivore vibes and really really want to write more Akechi next!!! I have so many monologues locked and loaded lmao.

But my current options are:

Write gen Chapter 5, which should be fun but has zero Akechi in it (😭)

Write gen Chapter 6, which is the Psychicker Power Update continuation, but I like to mix things up in the gen fic and alternate between different groups of characters, and posting this one first would be chronologically fine but it would be 2 Psychickers chapters back to back. I also feel like it needs a little more percolating. I have an idea for Akechi to do in this one but idk if I want to do it in this chapter or in its own dedicated chapter. 🙄 By breaking the power update into 3 parts I guess... 🤔

Try to write romance Chapter 3, which does have Akechi in it BUT I haven't finished thinking through the central device, so it may take me 5ever because it just hasn't percolated enough. OTL

Write romance Chapter 5, which has Akechi AND KURIKO (!!!), that was the original chapter 3 but got pushed out because their relationship needed a little bit more development for what I have planned. Would it be too insane to post Chapter 5 as Chapter 3 and then swap the order later??

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Just wanna write some unhinged blocks of text and I shouldn't keep sneaking over to chapter 8 (my beloved) if I actually want to post things, rippppp...

[earlgreytea68]

Tagged by @setting-in-a-honeymoon​!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200!

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

Um. 3,328,002

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Six:

Inception in the lead with 67 fics

Sherlock with 56

Fall Out Boy with 36

Doctor Who with 14 (this number is incorrect, I have written waaaaay more than that, they just live on LJ and DW)

and then one each for Sports Night and The Office (UK)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Nature and Nurture

Saving Sherlock Holmes

Working on the Edges

The Radovljica Apicultural Museum

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I get busy or depressed or sick, etc., and I fall behind, but I try to respond, for a number of reasons - they give me so much joy that I want to acknowledge that they have brought my joy; it is so wonderful to see what people to respond to and love and laugh at and cry over, it definitely makes me a better writer, and so I want to acknowledge that, too; and comments when I’m in the middle of posting a fic are especially helpful to me because they often result in me tweaking what’s coming next in response to questions I see people have that indicate I’m not being clear enough, or maybe I’m not hitting the tone I want, etc. And so I like to respond to be like, “Thank you! You have no idea how important and wonderful this is to me!”

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, wow. While I actually think I can write good angst, when I do it I try to have it in the middle of the fic, so that it gets properly resolved to give you a nice, happy ending. I’m sure someone’s going to be like, YOU ARE FORGETTING THIS HEART-WRENCHING THING YOU WROTE, but all I’m coming up with right now is that, in my long Doctor Who ‘verse I wrote, I did a fic in which their family dog died. That was pretty angsty. (omg I just scrolled down to see how I ended this story and OH MY GOD ahahah I forgot that I wrote this after I’d broken up with the Tenth Doctor and so it ends with Brem being like, “Plus, my father is useless so I have to hold the entire family together all the time” hahahaha what an extra-angsty ending, Brem, my love lol)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do sometimes! I feel like most of my crossovers make some amount of sense. Like, okay, maybe you wouldn’t think to cross Inception with Fall Out Boy (this was a special request) but I think the premise of the fic makes total sense. And I once crossed Oliver with Brem, but those were my first two beloved precocious fic songs, so that made some sense, too. And I still think Inception and Sherlock crossed together made SO much more sense than actual seasons of Sherlock lol. So I guess if I had to choose the craziest I would go with the Doctor Who/Gossip Girl crossover I wrote lol. But wait, that one actually also made sense as I wrote it, I think, so I’ll go with the Sherlock/Fall Out Boy crossover because that was just bonkers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I wrote a fic that was really horrible to Mary in “Sherlock.” I hate Mary. I feel like I can say that now. I haaaaaated Mary. But in those days “Sherlock” was an incredibly tense fandom to be part of and if you didn’t say that you loved Mary all the time forever and always then people were like !7@((!*(@(!& at you. I have a million massive warnings in all caps all over the fic, like, DON’T READ THIS IF YOU LIKE MARY, and people still would leave rude comments on it lololol. And then we wonder why I left that fandom lol. (I mean, many people in the fandom were wonderful, and I don’t always have REASONS why I leave fandoms, it’s not like anything is that logical or rational. But it wasn’t a very fun time to be in Sherlock fandom. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. My smut almost always has to be advancing some kind of emotional beat in the characters’ relationship. I’m never super-explicit because usually the whole point of the scene to me is what the characters are thinking and feeling, not really what they’re *doing.*

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sometimes my fics show up somewhere without my knowledge. People are really good about letting me know when that happens.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

This is like asking who my all-time favorite child is.

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have this high school Peterick AU that I started at the beginning of the pandemic. For some reason, when schools shut down, all I could think about was all these bands that wouldn’t get formed because the kids couldn’t go to each other’s houses, like Pete Wentz couldn’t just show up at Patrick Stump’s to hear him play. So I started this story where Pete and Patrick meet right before the pandemic hits, and then everything locks down and they’re stuck Facetiming each other and coming to the realization that their soulmate is on the other side of the screen.

Anyway, I actually think this fic is super-hot?? And I never think I write hot things, but it’s got a hot phone sex scene and I’m really happy with it and I would love to finish the story...except that the pandemic turned out to be...this. And in my head, Idk, I thought there’d be this triumphant moment where everyone would be like, “Yay! We can see each other now!” and Pete and Patrick would reunite, and instead everything petered out into, “Can we see each other now........????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “ and I didn’t know what to do with that in my fic, it made it not as neat as I was wanting it to be.

But I hate to lose that hot phone sex scene hahaha. And also after the hot phone sex scene Patrick adds “Hotline Bling” to his and Pete’s shared Spotify playlist they’ve been working on and I’M SORRY, I FOUND THAT SO CHARMING, PATRICK STOLE MY HEART WITH THAT MOVE, anyway, as you can see, I love so much about the fic and I really want to find a way to make it work and maybe someday I will the end.

15. What are your writing strengths?

My dialogue.

Also I think I write the same story over and over (person realizes that they’re deserving of being loved for exactly who they are), but I think I’m REALLY GOOD at that one story lol

Also I like to think that I write family relationship stuff fairly well, like, Idk, I love doing that stuff, whether found family or biological.

Oh, and I think I usually get the ratio of angst::happy ending pretty good (in my view for my personal preference lol).

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don’t think I’m especially good at smut. I’m terrible at paying attention to things like setting, what the characters are wearing, what the characters even look like, etc. As mentioned above, I tell the same story over and over and over, and I’m okay with that, but yeah, I’d be bad at telling a story where people aren’t, like, nice people who you’re rooting for.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think I couldn’t do it, because I don’t speak any other language, but I’m always happy when people translate my fics!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who. Although maybe, like, New Kids on the Block self-insert stuff counts from junior high??? But Doctor Who was first published.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Please see above re: favorite child lol

I tag every writer who wants to do this and I hope every writer does this because I always think these are fascinating!!

[ghoultyrant]

Dawn of War II

At one point I watched a Let’s Play covering Dawn of War II, starting from the base game, going through Chaos Rising, and then doing the Marine campaign in Retribution. The excruciating stupidity on display lead me to A: decide I didn’t want to buy the game, even though I love the original Dawn of War, and B: write the following semi-coherent ravings of a madman.

They are slightly edited for comprehension and I made a little to clarify what any given thing is alluding to, but not much. I had vague notions of posting this to Vigaroe once upon a time, but it really doesn’t fit the tone I’m trying to maintain on that site. Tumblr, meanwhile, I’m perfectly happy to dump things that may or may not be insightful or entertaining and move on with my life.

Here we go.

-----

Broadly: Let's take steps to scale down the player's troop count, and still end up with hundreds of Space Marines dead before the end of the campaign. Also broadly, let's have our special snowflake characters have squads (66% of them, anyway) but have the special snowflake character be the only one that counts: not only do your battlebrothers sensibly wearing helmets not count against your score at the end of the mission for dying, but if the special snowflake moron dies his goons instantly die too. I thought we were fighting against the Tyranids, not as the Tyranids? The score mechanic in general, as well as secondary objectives in general. They don't commit to the score mechanic as mattering, and secondary objectives seem absolutely worthless. In Dawn of War 1, secondary objectives were more like advisories: here's something you might want to deal with, but it isn't mission failure if you ignore it, hope you appreciate the heads-up. In II, they seem to be plotty things with no functionality and not much plot either, present because?... Also: WHY BRING BACK ANGELOS WITH THE WRONG VOICE? (fixed for Chaos Rising, to be fair) I'm a character narrating at another character completely unironically. The Tyranids are MYSTERIOUS AND DANGEROUS OOOOOHHHHH. I AM THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE!

(It’s a constant thing with the game to treat the Tyranids as mysterious and much more scary than anything else in the 40k setting. It falls flat, in spite of the heroic efforts on the voice actors’ parts)

HEY BOSSMEN SPACE MARINES FUCK YOU YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF US EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AND WE AREN'T FILTHY HERETICS GO RUN SOME ERRANDS FOR US AND WE MIGHT MAYBE IF YOU SAY PLEASE DO AS YOU ASK. (Derosa’s initial interaction is idiotic) SCALE? WHAT'S THAT? TINY RAIDS BY A FEW HUNDRED GUYS CAN TOTALLY COMPROMISE AN ENTIRE PLANET'S SECURITY. AND NOT BY SECURING A LANDING ZONE OR WHATEVER. (What, exactly, are the Eldar supposed to be doing here?) Psionically gifted individuals. Because we aren't Blizzard fanboyz or NUFFIN. PSYCHIC GODDAMMIT. PSYCHICALLY GIFTED INDIVIDUALS. Furthermore, 40k is a setting in which psychic powers make you a reviled pariah who counts themself LUCKY to be treated as a subhuman tool. IT'S NOT A GIFT.

(Maybe ‘psionic’ has become the 40k default term since I wrote this back in like 2013. I stand by it anyway)

Naturally, It's A Girl Who Doesn't Do As Told was ENTIRELY to then bitchslap her for being bitchy. Admitting her error just leads to her begging you help them anyway, rather than assuring you that Angel Forge will be accessable to you since your need clearly is urgent. In other words, the entire sequence is mental masturbation with a very tiny helping of plot. Yaaaay.

(Still Derosa, only now I’ve shifted from hating her to hating the writer) Angel Gate fails in open mode! Because everyone knows all devices automatically stop doing what they're designed for if denied a continuous supply of electricity! Rather than ceasing moving. Like in real life. Incidentally, how does a GATE protect a PLANET?

(Angel’s Gate is retarded. And not the 40k funny/grimdark retarded, but “does anyone on this team understand anything?”) The Eldar are trying to blow up the subsector's planets to SOMEHOW stop the Hivefleet from... going towards the Craftworld. Not, like, weaken them, or something. Somehow the writer thinks this should redirect them from Ulthwe, instead of HURRYING THEM ALONG.

(This is dumb) WHERE ARE THE BLOOD RAVENS GETTING THEIR INFORMATION. SERIOUSLY.

(Once you’re more than halfway through the game, people just... know things, without any greater explanation than ‘scouts report things they can’t possibly know’) Hey, Force Commander, let's monologue at you why you're here AT THE END OF THE GAME AS PART OF AN OPTIONAL SCENE.

(Yes, you only learn at the end of the game why your avatar is in Sector Aurelia. What?) Derp final mission derp stupidly designed uberbosses in general. Also, thinking the Avatar of Khaine can burn down an entire world, and also EFFORT: THE GAME in terms of... rampaging godmonster patiently waiting in an arena to be killed. Yay.

(I boggle every time I remember this) Chaos Rising PLANET AURELIA IN SUBSECTOR AURELIA. What, is it capital Aurelia on continent Aurelia in hemisphere Aurelia?

(Real life can be like this. There’s still a reason for the One Steve Limit) Personal drop pods because reasons except Cyrus with Commander Hairgel because reasons on the first mission. (No explanation is provided for this) Traitor Guard calling the position, rather than the time or just saying "THEY'RE IN POSITION OPEN FIRE!"

(They’re scripted to only fire on a handful of locations on the map. Come on, writer, help me suspend my disbelief) EVERYTHING IS BUILT INSTANTLY. EVERYTHING. FORGET THAT THIS GAME HAS NO BASEBUILDING MECHANICS TO JUSTIFY THIS NONSENSE, BAD GUYS HAVE INSTANT CONSTRUCTION SPEED. In general, everything happens in implausibly short time periods: when did the traitor get to Aurelia before everyone else? How?

(Chaos Rising’s plot is slipshod nonsense from step one, and it never improves. If anything it gets worse) What is the point of bringing back Eliphas WITHOUT HIS VOICE ACTOR?

(I don’t get this. Bring back arguably the single most popular character from the original game, who was so amazing due to his voice, and then... don’t bring back the voice actor? I really hope they tried and failed to get the man, rather than just failing to realize the voice mattered) "Most notably, the Blood Ravens have-" OUR BATTLEBROTHERS YOU FUCKER. "I must tend to one of the generators, Spess Mahreens-" BROTHERS. To be entirely fair, he's the pure run traitor, BUT COME ON MARTELLUS. (Why does Martellus talk like he’s some outsider? Who thought this made sense?) Of COURSE bitchslapped Derosa is a pseudo-love interest. OF COURSE. (I’m sorry, creepy writer, but this is fucked up in addition to being stupid nonsense. Why are you even writing a Space Marine having a romantic interest? And why does treating a woman like shit act as a vital part of your courtship ritual?) Some Corruption-if-failed-to-deploy missions are vaguely plausible. Sure, Thaddeus hates your guts forever and goes EEEEVVVILLL if you don't let him protect the home he so dearly loves. But Tarkus corrupting for not punching Eldar is dumb and Jonah corrupting for not going on the Space Hulk is DUMBER. HE SHOULD CORRUPT FOR GOING ONTO THE SPACE HULK.

(Corruption is a cool idea. Missions Corrupting someone because they get super-pissed makes sense. Your Psyker Corrupting for failing to go into a Warp-infested horror show is such a basic fail I have no words and cannot imagine how this got conceived of, let alone made it into the final product) Really? Araghast and Eliphas are Bale and Sindri again? REALLY?

(I don’t mind re-doing a cool character dynamic, and Sindri and Bale were great. But Eliphas was more interesting than that. You don’t bring back a cool character so they can do that less-cool thing some other characters did!)

Ulkair is pretty much a Slaaneshi demon with a good laugh and the wrong body. Fuck.

(I liked that Dawn of War II tried to give Nurgle representation and Slaanesh representation, since the original game was basically all Tzeentch and Khorne. It was undercut by making our Greater Demon of Nurgle a straightforward sadist having nothing to do with Nurgle values. Either do the new thing and get it right, or go back to the old thing you were fine at doing. Don’t write the new thing the exact way you wrote the old thing and pretend it’s different) RETRIBUTION Tutorial still sucks, albeit with less narrating at each other. Khornate Noise Marines!

Khornate Noise Marines in Alpha Legion colors. Relic, what?

(It’s baffling how Relic has a clear grasp on most of the lore, up to and including some fairly esoteric stuff, and then they cram in nonsense anyone who’s only peripherally familiar with 40k could probably tell you is wrong) "This is the Ascendant, Azariah Kyras." This is the shitty dialogue, unnatural speech.

(That’s Kyras talking, if you hadn’t guessed) I realize Kyras is supposed to be crazy, but... really? Nihilism? Khornate let's-Tzeentchian-plot nihilism, at that?

(I’ve seen other people point out how it’s questionable to have a Khornate psyker eg in Winter Assault’s campaign, but I’m personally willing to let that pass because that’s one piece of canon that’s always seemed flawed to me. That doesn’t mean Kyras actually makes sense. He doesn’t. At any point) why does kyras tell you his weakness

(It’s like the writers have utter and total contempt for their player base. You couldn’t have one of our dudes take a guess that the demonic artifact of empowerment might, maybe, when destroyed, stop empowering him? Or even have Kyras do 5-year-old levels of cunning and try to pretend very hard that it’s not important? I mean the game wants us to think Kyras is Very Smart and then he tells you his weak point for no actual reason. The writing in Dawn of War II: bonkers to the very end)