#get it right. i'm very specific w how i project my lack of personality onto real people i can overly-personally identify w okayyyy

[britneyshakespeare]

i had a really weird interaction on youtube the other week. i commented on a short tv clip of someone gay doing something funny a few years ago and i said smth sweet and generic like “oh wow that’s cute i love him” and it became a top comment so sometimes i still get notifications of ppl liking or replying to it. 

but for some reason, you know how faceless people on the internet will say their most shallow and judgmental thoughts to a real person like it’s not the rudest thing you can do? yeah that happened. i had left the most impersonal, inoffensive comment in the world but someone responded to me “just admit you’re only entertained bc he’s obviously gay and you project your lack of a personality onto that”

and i was just like. honestly shocked. like what? you literally don’t know me at all. i didnt even say I WAS GAY in the comment or anything about being gay it was LITERALLY just a tv clip i thought was funny and cute. but this angry homophobe who clearly just hates to see queer ppl have fun and make jokes on the internet made it *my* problem...

and like first of all i don’t do that. i don’t just identify w everyone i come across who is queer and funny and root for them for that reason alone. the only person i project my lack of personality onto is dave davies... ok... chill out that’s not what i watch jeopardy for, that’s why i listen to the kinks

[maschotch]

Your tags about JJ and her 'just be happy' energy - YES. Always found it so strange that she was given 'sister committed suicide' from the CM writers wheel of tragic backstories and yet still manages to have like no empathy for people who are actively suicidal. Correct me if i'm remembering wrong but the whole thing with her sister is it's supposed to be she loved her so much and still misses her and wears her necklace to remember her - but then people who feel like her sister did, who are depressed (or otherwise mentally ill w JJ lets be real) she's just like... 💕✨don't be sad✨💕 with no attempt at compassion or understanding.

((To be fair, I think a lot (read: most) is just that the CM writers don't write very well (the hottest of takes I know) but is it really too much to ask for the slightest bit of forethought? Narrative cohesion? Could just one of them have maybe written up character profiles (lol) so they didn't end up with a complete reinterpratation of every character every fourth episode? Sorry this got off topic))

never apologize to me for getting off topic aksjdhlskjd i dont think i ever answer anybody’s question i just talk ab random shit

yeah p much everything can be attributed to bad writingTM but for me at least its boring to just leave it at that, yk? i like to come up with some sort of explanation for the dumb shit to give them a cohesive story if nothing else. and tbh i think the lack of understanding jj has for mental illness/suicide has a lot to do with the way she grew up? we know her parents didn’t talk about her sister’s suicide at all. that combined w the traditional small town values of maintaining composure and ignoring/repressing anything that threatens the reputation of a respectable young lady etc combines w the crabs-in-a-bucket desperate clawing she went through to get out of the town leads to this weird mentality that determines worth on strength—or at least ability to hide weakness. she feels this need to prove herself—both to the team and to herself—because of this weird inferiority complex she has bc she’s ashamed to feel emotions akjhdflgas

idk if im just talking out of my ass with this one, but i feel like ive got evidence kajshdl like her whole misinterpretation of hotch? she has this image of him as an uncaring uncompromised authoritative agent whose strength is that he has no weaknesses. which obviously just.. isn’t the way that he is asjdhlakg . intentionally or not, she refuses to see through his coping mechanisms and takes his stoic mask at face value. she respects him not for who he really is but for her own twisted values that she projects onto him. which is why he can never get through to her that it’s okay to lose it, that she doesn’t have to be this rigid unfeeling robot all the time. it’s the complete opposite of how she’s seen the world her whole life. she just… doesn’t believe it

i think another example is in revelations when she asks emily how come none of this affects her. we as the audience (at least on a rewatch) know that it’s bc of her past and what she’s seen and what she’s done and what specific skillsets she’s honed over the years. emily obviously can’t say anything ab that ajksld and with hotch comin up behind her cornering her with his own prying “you’ve never blinked.” jj’s question is personal, but hotch is suspicious. emily’s so focused on deflecting hotch’s perceptive inquiring that she doesn’t really notice that her response “i guess i’m just better at compartmentalizing than most people,” cuts right to the heart of jj’s insecurities when she’s already at an emotional breaking point: she’s already got survivors guilt and hasn’t had anytime to come to terms with anything that’s happened these past couple days, and now she’s overwhelmed w the idea that maybe she really cant handle this job just bc she’s struggling. she demands garcia show her the video of a brutal murder in some sick way of proving herself

unlike hotch, this isnt just a standard she holds herself to. she judges others based on this as well. again, coming from that very small town vibe of criticizing everyone and scrutinizing every move… every mistake is like a strike against god akjsdhlajs she takes it seriously. not just for her, but for everyone. so i think it’s only natural that she’d apply this to everyone she interacts with. based on these standards, there are probably very few people she respects, which is why it’s so significant when she does. probably just hotch, emily, and morgan. blake eventually. tara also. but she thinks reid is weak. especially with the way he handles his experiences with his job, but bc she thinks her value judgment is the way the world just is, it aligns with the way others treat reid, too. like this is just another job qualification they make an exception for him bc of his intellect. same thing with garcia: her specialty makes her useful, even if she’s weak. she probably thinks of gideon and luke as soft, so even if she cares about them i doubt she respects them. and if she’s willing to think like this ab her loved ones, of course she’ll also apply it to the people they come across, even victims. they’re just.. weak. if they want to change that, just be strong! just break yourself down until you're able to handle it. until then.. you're just weak.