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peninkwrites · 2 years ago

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A Man Lost Through Time

Connor's piece for @dreamoirezine !

Please check out the full project, it's amazing!

crossposted to ao3

Connoreatspants has come unstuck in time.

He sat down to chat with his business partner JSchlatt only to turn around and find him across from him in a courtroom in the midst of a lawsuit only to next find himself alone, drifting, months after he’d first been told of his old friend’s death.

He enters a new server, alone and unsure, only to next find himself settled into a little house, passively watching yet another court case unfold. Only for there to be a slightly more jarring shift, as he suddenly finds himself hosting a party with the ghost of that very friend alongside Karl, a time traveler still confused by the nature of his own existence. Connor doesn’t know how to explain to him how little his confusion matters. Karl has the luxury of most often one moment passing into the very next moment. Connor doesn’t have the chance to even attempt to give him an explanation, because now he is back to watching the bombs fall over a city-state he knows he had seen standing what felt like only a few hours ago.

“Hello? Connor?”

It’s Ranboo. He knows Ranboo now. Ranboo is alive now.

He’s sitting against a wall in a cell opposite Ranboo’s. So, alive, but not for much longer.

“...what’s up, man?” Connor blinks.

“You were telling me about…” Ranboo sounds reluctant. “Never mind. It’s fine, really. I think I… I think I got the gist of it.”

“Right, right,” Connor agrees quickly. He stares at the back wall. It’s going to break. If Ranboo is here, it won’t be much longer now.

Connor didn’t know Ranboo. Not yet. Right now the closest thing he has to a friend on this server is the grave he now stares at. He’s outside. The sky is overcast and behind him are fresh platforms built over a crater, in front of him is a grave he honestly thought his old pal Schlatt would have liked. It’s ornate, a tomb really.

Connor is almost tempted to ask Schlatt about his ideal resting place the next time he sees him, but he knows better by now. No one would understand. He could have warned Ranboo in the prison, and no one would have believed him. Better to just wait. If he waits, eventually they’ll be alive again.

Tommy is dead. He died in the prison. Connor is inside his house again. It’s a comforting thing to come back to, the occasional phases where he had been allowed to have Tommy’s house, and while there were other instances where he’d return there only to find Tommy still alive, free, or present, those times got annoying.

This time Connor knows it’s his house, because the rest of the server is in mourning. Ranboo had placed flowers outside Tommy’s door, because in this now Ranboo is still alive, and now Tommy is dead.

Connor took a leaf out of Ranboo’s book. He has a diary now. It helps with his sense of time.

i miss my friend jschlatt

im gonna solve mortality

if it's not that hard tho

if it’s a lot of work im good

–monday

Connor thinks it’s Monday.

Ranboo is still alive. Connor thinks Tommy is alive too. He’s running one direction across the Nether roof, he’s going to find people, he thinks. Ranboo, HBomb, and Foolish. He knows because of his chat messages. And then he isn’t on the Nether roof anymore. No wonder he keeps getting lost, he never sticks around long enough to remember where he’s going.

Connor is living in Tommy’s old house. It’s his house now, because… Connor scans the room. The ominous messages from Dream aren’t there, the walls are made of dirt. Connor steps outside and sees his own name over the doorway. It’s definitely his house, then.

Which is a bit strange because Connor turns around and sees Tommy crawling out of the sewer tunnels. Followed by Technoblade. Tommy is already a wave of chatter, Techno standing awkwardly between them.

“What’re you doing in my house?” Connor asks. It’s his house right now, he’s pretty sure. “What’s goin’ on?”

Tommy stops rambling and stops forward, colder now. He looks extra scrawny, he’s got bags under his eyes. That sort of look seems to come and go for Tommy. “This is my home, Connor.”

Connor disagrees. His name is over the door. So surely it’s his. Tommy disagrees as well. Connor turns around and finds the door has been blocked.

“If I was unexiled, would you give it back?” Tommy corners him.

Connor stares back, startled. Right. Tommy isn’t supposed to be here.Connor points this out. Tommy doesn’t take it well, and Connor finds himself walled in. He doesn’t take that well either, frantic as he’s trapped further, until there is only stone, not even light, Tommy and Techno’s shouting muffled through it.

Connor screams for help. He knows no one is coming. He pounds against the stone until he can see light, and immediately it is replaced by another. Connor is used to being out of control, but now he’s scared. He thought he would’ve been taken away by now, dragged to another point in time, but it’s still just darkness, it’s still just him pounding his fists bloody against cobblestone but every time he breaks it another stone takes its place. Connor doesn’t know why now is when he gets to stay in one place, he didn’t know that his existence out of time could also be freeing. He wants it to take him away again, he wants to go back to a time where he and Tommy are friends, he wants to go back home to when he and Schlatt were together, he wants out of this box–

Connor sees light and he bolts before Tommy can close him in again, but every exit is blocked and Tommy has a sword. Connor doesn’t know how Tommy feels about him right now. The last Connor remembered, they were friends. Tommy promised him his house. Tommy doesn’t look especially friendly right now.

“How much pain do you feel on a daily basis?” Tommy asks.

Connor thinks he can hear the blood rushing in his ears. Daily? I don’t have a daily. He knows he can’t say that, so instead he stammers out, “like… like on a scale?”

“Yeah. One to ten.”

Connor doesn’t know how to answer that. He doesn’t have a daily, and sometimes he’s in pain one second and then he’s not. He decides to high ball the estimate. “Honestly, like a seven..?”

“You’re about to be a nine, bitch!”

Connor doesn’t want to be in this one anymore, he doesn’t want Tommy to trap him again. He has never been able to control when he travels, and he accepts that often, but this is a bad one. Worse than most. “I don’t… I don’t wanna go back in the hole.”

As with all things in Connor’s life, he doesn’t have a choice.

It continues and Connor can only listen from behind a wall. He doesn’t think he knows how the rest of this one goes. He’s a unique sort of scared right now, fear of the unknown is pretty rare for him.

“I don’t wanna die…”

Connor doesn’t remember what life he is on. They let him out, but Connor doesn’t know if he should run. He’s, ironically enough, not a very good runner.

“Hey Connor, how many hearts are you on?” Tommy asks.

“Uh, all of them?”

Connor sees Tommy raise a crossbow, and then he is no longer there.

Connor hasn’t been shot. He feels a brief spark of relief, before recognizing his walls as that of a prison cell. Connor cannot remember why he was arrested. Only that he had been. Maybe it had been a mistake? Or it could’ve been some trouble with a fake I.D. Or living in a house that wasn’t really his. Something like that, usually. Sam put him in here, because if the prison is in operation, Sam is no longer that pretty chill guy who gave out pumpkin pies and went running around with Ponk. He went running after Ponk, it’s more like. Connor is used to being out of control, being locked in a cell isn’t that different, really. Just boring. He would have a neighbor soon.

Soon maybe . It could take days more instead. He doesn’t really know how long he is in the prison, how long he was. Would be. Semantics. It didn’t really matter.

Connor is spot on this time around. He hears voices down the hall, one cold and unfeeling, the other deep and unsure.

“You wanted to be put in here–”

“And now I don’t, okay? I have people who need me and–”

“–And they’re safer with you in here.”

Connor goes to the iron door, pressing his face to the bars. “H-Hey! Hey, man I did not want to get put in here, so, maybe we could do a little, uh, a little switcheroo and that guy– oh, hey, Ranboo!– can come in here and I can go home, okay?” Connor knows this isn’t where he gets let out. Still, might as well push Sam’s buttons a bit.

“Connor? Why is Connor in here?!” Ranboo is just barely visible, looking irritable, shoulders hunched inward.

“It doesn’t matter. Ranboo, please don’t make this harder,” Sam sighs.

“Please, Sam,” Ranboo grows quiet.

“Hey! Ranboo! Might wanna just like, do what he says, dude. If you were gonna get out of this, probably should’ve done that before you got, like, halfway into a super secure prison. But don’t you worry, buddy. We’ll get out of here before you know it!” Connor calls cheerfully from his cell door. He recalls the aftermath of the escape. He almost feels bad for lying to the kid, but it’s not like it matters. He’ll be dead for a moment, and then he will be alive again.

Connor screams. This is a new one. He has reawakened outside of his– Tommy’s?– house and he looks down at himself and sees nothing, no limbs, he doesn’t understand it.

“WHERE ARE MY ARMS?!”

Tommy and Techno are speaking to him. He’s friends with Tommy sometimes. He’s friends with Techno sometimes too, he even joined their Syndicate. Maybe this is one of those times.

Connor isn’t so sure.

He’s invisible and he thinks it’s Tommy and Techno’s fault. Oh. They’re not friends. Connor isn’t here by choice. He tries calling for help again. There is no reply. He thinks there should be. He’s a hostage, and he knows he isn’t a hostage forever. Someone gets him out of this. He wishes they’d get him out of this a little sooner. Tommy and Techno are hurting him again. This must be right after the last time. He hopes it is, at least. That Techno and Tommy don’t hurt him multiple times. He considers Tommy his friend. Sometimes. Certainly not now as he begins to drown, let up for air only long enough to stay conscious.

Connor is relieved to find himself no longer trapped. He can breathe. He can move freely. He’s safe, he thinks. Tommy is still here, but he’s younger now. He’s not hurting him. Connor is new to the server, and Tommy is just showing him around.

“There are a lot of assholes on this server, alright?” Tommy says intently. They’re standing on top of the community house, but he didn’t know it was called the community house yet.

“Technoblade,” Connor nods, agreeing, thinking of the man who threatened to put a pickaxe through his kneecaps not long ago with Tommy right beside him.

“Tech– Yeah, Technoblade,” Tommy nods, looking out over the prime path. “All of them. And I think what I need you to do is– Because I know that we’re… we’re friends.”

“Right,” Connor’s reply is automatic. He doesn’t want to think about Tommy laughing as he begged him not to kill him.

“Say we’re friends.”

“We are friends.” Connor doesn’t think he sounds particularly sincere, but he wants to be. Tommy was– or is going to be– the one to damage that. “Ethically.” Connor adds. Friends who don’t torture each other. Ethically friends.

Tommy laughs, that sharp cackle of his, “ ethically ? Why did you say that?”

Connor can’t explain, so he laughs too. “I’m– I’m sonic,” he says. Eventually people on this server will stop questioning his peculiarities. Until they do, I’m Sonic will have to suffice.

Connor follows Tommy down the prime path until he sees Church Prime. He’ll frequent its halls eventually, but right now he’s supposed to say, “what’s this?” And let Tommy show him the church, and the Prime Path, and Connor follows him.

Tommy is a good kid, really. Connor knows that hurting people isn’t his nature, even if it still stings.

Connor is outside the community house again, several renovations down the line. Tommy isn’t here this time. Niki is. So is Wilbur. Okay, so this is way down the line, then. Wilbur is alive, and he’s talking to Niki. That’s a change.

“I really want to do one good deed with you.”

“One good deed?”

“Something absolutely great–”

Connor approaches the community house.

Wilbur keeps talking, “ignore him. Ignore that guy. Oh god– Hello, Connor.”

“Did you guys say a good deed?” Connor doesn’t bother noticing Wilbur’s lack of enthusiasm. His ghost had been pretty chill, so Connor didn’t mind intruding. He wanted to do something helpful. Doing something felt like a nice change of pace to whatever motions he had been going through thus far. Wilbur wants to do a good deed as some sort of redemption type deal. Alright, that’s fair enough. “No, same, I just served time in jail,” Connor explains. “Is how I resolved that issue for myself.”

“Okay, in jail–” Wilbur gives him a careful look, pulling Niki aside, “Niki, who is this guy? He’s been in jail ? What the fuck? ”

Niki defends Connor. Because they’re in the Syndicate together now. That’s nice. Connor hopes he gets to actually spend some time with the Syndicate. “It was an accident?” Niki explains.

“What’s wrong with jail?” Connor gives Wilbur an unimpressed look. “You don't believe in reformation? Like, what’s the deal with you?”

“No, no I believe in reformation!” Wilbur doesn’t seem to know what to do with him.

“You’ve been a ghost too long, the world’s different now, buddy.”

Wilbur nods, “right, right you can come with us, Connor, just don’t touch anything.”

Wilbur sounds like he knows what he’s talking about, other than his outdated politics on prison reformation. Bla bla summon god, help the sheep, whatever. Connor doesn’t care too much about the details, he’s just happy to be along for the ride. He’s dealt with gods before, he thinks. Or he will. He’s not sure if Foolish counts.

Connor doesn’t get scared. Maybe a little nervous. The god shows, and Wilbur boxes him in in a way far too reminiscent of Tommy and Technoblade’s actions.

“Do you have a death wish?”

DreamXD is speaking to him , he thinks, but Wilbur is handling the talking. As per usual, Connor is tasked with waiting. Maybe he actually can’t stand being trapped like this again. Connor grows frantic, pushing against the gold walls Wilbur put around him. He doesn’t like being trapped. Connor feels shaky, he vaguely hears Wilbur say, “tell him we’ll stop,” and mumbles an agreement. He is doing his best not to freak out, keeping his voice level even as he turns around quickly, hoping to be sent to another time soon.

“What if I just killed your friend and your stupid sheep?”

Niki defends him, “uh, that would not be so great.” Connor is grateful again to be Syndicate buddies with her. Connor isn’t used to having allegiances that care about him and stuff.

“I mean, Connor, how do you feel about that?” Wilbur asks him. Connor stops spinning, turning to face him. “It’s easy, right? You could just get killed.”

“Uh, yeah, if that’s what you guys need, I’m just here to be helpful, y’know?” Connor doesn’t mind it. He dies, he goes somewhere else. Maybe it would get him out of this time faster.

Wilbur looks nervous. “I– Connor, I’m not sure about this, actually. I’ve changed my idea– How do you feel about it?”

Connor tries to remember. He’s not sure where he is in the state of things. A little bit ago, he’d said he had two lives, but he doesn’t think that makes sense. This far along, he thinks he’s died more than once. He isn’t sure if he’s lived both deaths yet, though. “Well, I mean, I only have like, one life left, so I–”

Then it doesn’t matter. It’s all gone. He’s dead. For a brief moment, he thinks he sees Schlatt–

And then Connor keeps going.

Connor tries to get his bearings. He tries to remember who is alive and who is dead. He is alive, that’s something good. Tommy is alive, but he’d been dead before too. Ranboo is alive, he thinks. He thinks Wilbur might be alive? He isn’t sure. He knows Schlatt is dead. He usually is. Which sucks as he thought for a second there he was going to get to see him again, but here he is instead. He’s living in Ninja’s old house again. He’s been waiting until he was back, past when Tommy had read his diary– he has a new diary now either way– to make sure Tommy wouldn’t see this part. It’s nice being able to plan ahead like that.

i don’t know when it’s gonna happen but i saw when i die.

it isn’t all that bad really.

i mean.

i wanted to be helpful.

kinda cool to get killed by god. makes prayer a little awkward though.

kinda was thinking i was immortal, though.

Because it just keeps going, right?

i mean actually i think i am immortal cuz i just said i saw when i die and here im writing about it so.

never mind.

-Friday

Connor thinks it has to be a Friday.

It feels like a Friday.

Connor is back in Tommy’s house, but he’s not going to get attacked by Tommy any time soon. Tommy is dead, and this is his house right now. There’s even a sign out front, and there are flowers outside of it placed there by Ranboo.

He needs to calm himself, to catch up. He has his diary in his hand.

The last entry:

I hope something happens today.

–Friday

“Me too, my guy…” Connor sighs.

I need a girlfriend

– thursday

“Ha, me too, me too. Which. Makes sense I guess,” Connor turns back one more page.

i miss my friend tommy

he died

got my house back

need food

– wednesday

Okay. So last time he was here, he felt good about Tommy. So, maybe later he won’t feel so messed up about the whole torture thing, right?

Connor’s necromancy powers work a little too well, because he’s pretty sure Tommy is supposed to be dead right now, not standing bruised and pale in front of him.

“Oh my god–” Connor panics, shoving him back toward the door, half expecting the guy to try to shove his head under water. “Begone, ghost!”

Tommy seems as scared of Connor as he is of him, running outside, begging him to stop. Before he runs back in with an axe. “Do not fuckin’ punch me!”

Connor is frantic, but there’s nowhere for him to run, “I’m c-calling the police! I’m calling the police–” They must have police or something, right? He’s going to end up in prison eventually.

Tommy stops, looking an inch away from a breakdown, “n-never fucking punch me–”

Okay. This Tommy isn’t going to hurt him. This Tommy is scared. Connor thinks that means they’re supposed to be friends right now. Alive friends. Ethical friends.

“Is that actually you?” Connor steps closer and Tommy does not attack him. Progress.

Tommy still looks scared of him. Maybe Connor’s impulse shouldn’t be to sympathize with him considering, y’know, a lot of things, but he doesn’t know why this kid looks so scared of being alive again. Connor feels like being alive is a bit more chill than being dead, generally. That might be because he hasn’t really gotten to spend much time dead.

Tommy is whispering and frantic. He died bad. He died in the prison.

Connor thinks of his own time imprisoned. “You know I have been saying we need prison reform on this server.” Connor wonders if Tommy knows his buddy Wilbur has some old fashioned views on prison. It doesn’t matter. Wilbur is dead today. Tommy is alive, and he’s scared.

This is after Tommy has tortured him. Connor doesn’t have any reason to show pity. He kind of wants to anyway.

Tommy is upset that Sam let him die. Wait until he finds out about Ranboo. Or, wait until that thing happens to Ranboo, Connor supposes. Connor will just listen. And then he’ll leave again. He leaves sooner than he thought.

~ Connor came out to Foolish’s construction site for a reason. He’s guessing he had a reason whenever that destination choice had been made, but right now he isn’t sure. HBomb is here. He’s someone to conspire with, Connor thinks. He has a feeling his intentions here had been conspiratory, even if the details are fuzzy.

Connor tries to piece together his surroundings. The mansion is super unfinished.

Connor has a nuke.

That part is unimportant. He can’t remember how he got it, and he’s confident he never uses it, he’s pretty sure he would’ve heard about that at some point. So whatever he came here to do, it’s something else.

There’s a beacon.

Stealing a beacon sounds like something he’d do.

HBomb covers for him, Connor grabs it, and he runs. He doesn’t think this is going to end well for him. He thinks he came here for a reason. That reason hits him the same moment Ranboo’s sword slices through his back and he feels his whole body burn.

Right. Ranboo kills him.

Connor is down to one life now, and he knows where that will lead, so he returns to the mansion. He knows he won’t die again, not here at least.

“Also, guys, I am, uh. Cursing this land with the nuke. I’m cursing it. So, at some point– I curse this place to be destroyed, with my necromancy powers that I have, um, and you guys are all screwed. You will rue this day and you will regret what you have done to me and my forefathers. See you later. Goodbye,” Connor turns and leaves. They don’t follow.

Connor is pretty sure his curse worked, because sometimes there is a big empty mansion in this spot and no one moves into it, and sometimes that mansion is haunted by Ranboo’s ghost, and other times it’s under construction until it drives Foolish mad. Or it’s before he cursed the land and Connor doesn’t see it at all. But that part is less relevant. His curse worked. Just like his necromancy powers work.

Connor is running. He stares ahead, there is nothing in front of him. What was he doing here? Connor stops. He turns around. He’s going the wrong way on the Nether roof again. Or maybe not again, this could be the same as the last time. Connor starts running the other way. He might kill someone. He isn’t sure. If he does, he only needs to wait and soon they will be alive again. Just like with the others, with Ranboo, with Tommy, with that Wilbur guy, with himself. He just has to wait.

Connor finally finds his way on the Nether roof, reaching the main portal. And he remembers why he went running off to kill someone. It’s because Ranboo killed him. Or rather, he was going to. When Connor got there. And instead of killing Ranboo, taking the Beacon and running.

Hm. Connor has maybe a second to wonder about self fulfilling prophecies before he’s swept away again.

Speaking of self fulfilling prophecies. Connor is pretty sure from the way everyone’s running around all freaked out, he’s pretty sure it’s Doomsday, or from the darkened sky, the night before probably.

Connor is on the prime path, he sees his house, the sign over the door confirming it. Tommy is here too. He’s standing at that one bench, looking quite serious. Tommy spots him and grimaces, leaving the bench, glancing from the house, the sign over the door currently reading Connor’s House and considers it for a moment, looking back at him with something almost pitying.

“...hello?” Connor tries.

“Hey, Connor!” Tommy is too loud.

“Tommy, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really know what happened,” very true. Connor can’t remember the specifics of how they got here. He remembers doomsday, kind of. He doesn’t remember the before. Although, he supposes this might fill him in a bit. “I–”

“Hey, Connor!” Tommy interrupts, patronizing and abrasive. “You know how I’m out of exile now?”

“...you are?” Oh. Connor is starting to understand why a bit in the future he isn’t in that house anymore.

“I’m out of exile now! And it looks like–”

“Congratulations,” Connor means it. Tommy in exile had been the one vicious enough to, y’know, waterboard him and so on.

“Thank you!” Tommy sounds almost too genuine. “This is my house, Connor, I don’t know why you’ve, uh, stolen it.”

Ah. He’s getting kicked out now. Right now. The night before doomsday– he thinks– that isn’t ideal.

“Well…” Connor tries to think back. He’s mostly going off of context clues at this point. “You were evicted.”

“Just– One second, just explain this one to me, Connor,” Tommy leaves, goes into the house, and returns in armor. He’s holding his axe. Connor isn’t sure why. He guesses it makes sense, doomsday coming and all. Tommy frowns. “Why’re you holding that?”

Connor looks down at his hand. He’s holding a lead. He cannot for the life of him remember why. He might not even have lived that part yet. “This is… this is all I have.” It’s true. His inventory is empty. Gloom is setting in. “I don’t… I don’t have a place to sleep.” Connor turns back toward Ninja’s house. It’s not a very nice house.

“Tell you what! I’ll pitch you a deal, right now. In exchange–” Tommy pauses, mulling something over. “And I am not gonna be the bad guy, ever. In exchange to stay alive, I give you this gapple, and you– and you live in Ninja’s house. Pants optional. For the time being.” Tommy gestures to the house across the prime path.

Connor already knows he’s going to agree. Even if he isn’t a fan of the idea. Tommy is right too. For the time being. Time being very iffy for Connor, in five minutes, he could have his house back again.

“...I’ll take it.”

“Yeah? Yeah, we’ll be next door neighbors! And in that way, I get to keep my home!”

“Yeah, yeah I’m down with that,” Connor goes into the little house. There’s not much here. And Connor is pretty sure it never gets any better. “I’d be honored to sleep in Ninja’s bed.”

“That sounds alright? Okay!” Tommy is quite pushy with this arrangement.

Connor doesn’t hold it against him. He knows next time he moves back into Tommy’s house, that time will end with Tommy coming home way more messed up than when he left it. He can wait around in Ninja’s house for now.

“For what it’s worth, Tommy.” Tommy is rambling over him, but Connor just keeps talking. Tommy will hear him, or he won’t. Little stuff like this doesn’t matter, Connor just wants to know he said it. “I don’t know what went on today, but, uh, even though you kidnapped me, and I’m still dealing with the trauma of that, you’re just a conflicted person, not a bad person.” Connor doesn’t know how long it has been since Tommy hurt him. For Tommy or for him, but Connor cannot exist in this life able to hold a grudge. Tommy has fallen quiet. “Um. And uh, I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“Oh. Thank you, Connor.”

Connor turns back to his empty house. “Actually I need to go get a bed.”

And then Connor is alone.

Not gone, just alone. Tommy has left. Connor doesn’t understand why he’s like this. He doesn’t often let it get to him, but he feels like he’s seen so many people lately, none of them people he had truly been able to rely on. He likes Tommy, he does, but he misses Schlatt. He misses those times in his life, and he doesn’t know when or how he will get them back.

He feels like he should have run into Schlatt by now. It scares him to think he hasn’t had Schlatt in his life more than he has had him there, to think maybe he’s run out of time with his partner.

The way he figures it, from his side of things at least, he’d brought JSchlatt back from the dead, and then he’d been dead again, and then a ghost, and then alive again. Connor must have figured out necromancy to some extent. He didn’t feel like he’d done it yet, but he must figure it out eventually. Nothing stayed dead for him. Eventually he’ll end up in better times.

#dreamoirezine #my writing #connoreatspants #this project was so cool to work on!!

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addaxbones · 5 months ago

Note

Since I was tagged I feel like I might be able to add more to this? I do have like 3 years of streaming under my belt. (this is also going to be a behind the scenes of myself I fear, and also I wanna plug myself a bit ok) This is also going to be my experience and literally beauty of streaming is you dont have to follow any of this

Def agree with just steal what you like. Connoreatspants, Sneegsnag and others are big inspirations for my content, editing, and look on stream fun fact.

I started on a separate account than I use now as like a tester with my sister and just got used to the program before making my entire addaxbones character and doing branding stuff off of that. Personally I like my own cohesive branding, helpful for viewers to have a solid image in their brain of you within like a minute of seeing you. I also just threw together stuff I liked, purple, antelopes, skulls, ect. I took about a month before going live making and drawing up branding and paying some artists for some images i could use as profile photo, ending screen, chatting screen. (I really like streaming and see it as just a hobby to put some extra cash into)

OBS is great, i also love streamelements for alerts, chat overlay and chat commands that add some interaction. Triggerfyre is how I do all my channel point videos (you can also add commands if you dont have channel points) fossabot and nightbot are also pretty common for chat control stuff. I would also personally recommend getting bttv and ffz for your chat and picking out some free commonly used twitch emotes, these are what originally drew me to twitch as the site has a great sense of community and like a weird almost language you don't see around much. I also just love emotes.

Fun twitch things to consider, turn on your vod saving!!!! Many people lose their first streams to this as its auto off (if you are me remotely record every second you are live and put into a folder to upload to a vod channel 1 year later so nothing is lost) You can also go in and perminently save vods as twitch will get rid of them, watch out! Also Im putting this here USE MORE CLIPS. I just want everyone on twitch to use clips more but if you have a moment on stream you liked, clip it, use that clip to post to other places, idk watch it 72 times

In terms of actually streaming, just play games however you want, if you want to make a whole show go for it, or just chill and play a game with people. Just make sure you are having fun, Dont look at numbers as well, they are really fun to look at stat wise but sometimes you dont need that viewer reminder

Something I know I struggle with, you can just kick people from your chat if you dont like the vibe, its your space. Or, get some cool mods like zircon

Also schedules really help, in whatever capacity you have if you commit to it it makes it easier. Of course you can take breaks and stuff but having a schedule helped me so much of actually forcing myself to sit down and just play a video game for a couple hours. Also viewers know when to expect streams from you and consistency helps a lot.

I might put a bit more obs technical stuff and personal stuff that I find fun here so im putting my own read more

In terms of like things to consider, most twitch streams nowadays in the space have like a starting screen ~5 min, maybe a chatting screen, gameplay, brb, and ending. You'll learn what other sceens you personally are going to need as you need them.

these are mine (the ones on the bottom are nestled scenes I use to clear up individual scenes, kinda like folders)

Most of my current scene backgrounds I've just honestly used Canva to make slight gifs, mixed with my own editing and layering.

I did this like 2 years ago when I took a month off after surgery so I could come back to a nice updated stream that I am still really proud of.

I also made a png-tuber during this time, as much as sometimes I wish I did facecam mentally I dont think im ready for that. so I drew all the parts myself and used HONK which was really fun to learn, all the drawings had to be in very separate layers so they would move how I want and now my little guy talks and moves his head and moves his ears and blinks and can change outfits

there are also free programs to do this like veodotube but personally I really like how much I can change with honk and how it has different mouths and doesnt jump every second, looks cleaner to me and well worth the 12 bucks.

Fun obs facts, You can color code your scenes

I like this :)

this is my audio nested source since every other sorce uses these audio chanells zircon was talking about. Personally, audio is really important, I check and modify my audio after almost every stream cuz I'm paranoid and still dont feel like ive reached a good spot. Obviously not actually needed just something I personally prioritize. also wifi (ive been in a battle with telus this past week) wifi and your computer strength will play a part in what games will physically work

more fun things, I have so many streamelements custom commands that just say shit into chat and videos that randomly play

did you know streamelements also has stats?

and speaking of stats, twitch tracker is really useful (just dont morally compare yourself to others u know) its really fun to see how others are doing compared to yourself just dont take it personally

also an about section is really handy, its what i look at when looking at new people to raid, also raiding people when u are done stream is free and helpful for both sometimes, its nice to share the community u know, helps you both grow sometimes.

i think that's long enough, anyway follow me pls :) hope this was at least interesting and maybe helpful

hellooo zircon, for no particular reason (/silly) do you have any tips for beginner streamers? Your streams are always clean and well put together esp from a technical side imo so I trust your advice on this one :) - @helsex

This is gonna be long so get comfy.

#1 best tip: Get familiar with your streaming software of choice (most likely OBS) and don't be afraid to play with it. Your first streams are not gonna be a polished as you'd like no matter what you do. You don't need to know the software inside and out to use it well and familiarity will come with use. The best approach (in my opinion) is to figure out what you like in other streams and figure out how to do that for yourself, don't worry about learning absolutely everything right from the start.

Another good tip is to do some mic checks beforehand, if you just record instead of streaming you'll be able to see what your mic sounds like on stream, and there are tons of tutorials out there for figuring out mic settings (this is the one I followed I think, although with some differences just for my own preference).

Yet another helpful resource: this is a link to an obs plugin that will help manage audio sources so you can actually control what plays on stream, instead of it just playing your whole desktop audio. (I think OBS has a version of this going now? But I tried using it and didn't get far) You'll have to add an audio source individually for each application but the greater control is a godsend.

For overlays (things like chat on stream and alerts that play when people follow/subscribe/raid that sort of thing), there's a few routes you can go down. Twitch has their own alerts thing but personally I use streamelements (they also have a very popular chatbot which I don't use myself but may be worth looking into if that's something you want). Whichever service you end up using should give you some sort of link, which will be added to your obs as a Browser Source. (Also if you're using the obs plugin I linked, the browser source audio would be under the name "obs-browser-page.exe" after you set up the browser source)

My final bit of advice is that hotkeys are your friends! It is absolutely worth setting up a few hotkeys to make controlling your stream while in game easy. Personally I have hotkeys set up for toggle muting my my mic and discord audio, as well as for changing between my most common scenes (Also my catcam when my animals deign to show up). Typically if you are just using a regular keyboard you'll want to use key combinations as hotkeys to avoid accidentally activating one while trying to type in game (Something I have done many a time, but hey you never stop learning!).

Shoutout to @addaxbones for teaching me literally everything I know about streaming btw. He's the guy that got me into this mess and also the reason I met most of my friends today. (love that guy)

One last thing under the readmore to cover my shame /silly:

I am flattered you consider my streams "clean and well put together", and you can maybe take this as proof that on screen != behind the scenes, but here is my desktop from a few streams ago, not a tidy look I can tell you that.

It doesn't normally get this bad, but it's also not a whole lot better.

#but really all you need to do is press a go live button and not dox yourself. the rest you figure out on the way #If you want growth tips #idk man #ive been pretty stagnant and theres other to look for for that. not being faceless helps but oh well.#streaming #long post #i dont normally post stuff like this and got carried away sory #I just really enjoy streaming and have put a lot of work into this and want to share it with more people #if you want to know more in general or more specific stuff please ask

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crystal-jack-asripines · 3 years ago

Text

This Techno lore stream has everything! (Full review)

Ranboo getting imprisoned

Niki Nihachu 💕

Making fun of Philza for not reading properly

Apollo my beloved, 6th member of The Syndicate

SCUFFED

Creeper nearly destroying Techno’s secret base door

Philza struggling (and failing) to guide horses through Nether

Breaking out Dream

Apollo my beloved dying at the hands of The Warden

ConnorEatsPants joining the prison breakout squad

The Warden murdering Ranboo (who threw a picture to Techno) then telling Techno “Why are you even mad at me”

Dream, Techno, and Philza escaping as Withers and wardens chase them down [someone steals Connor’s escape horse :( ]

Techno making Dream give him back his Netherite armor wishing him luck as the green man runs off

Connor makes it to their base somehow and joins the 2 & Niki in profiting off of Ranboo’s death with channel members

ConnorEatsPants my beloved, 7th member of The Syndicate

Techno discovering the picture Ranboo gave him is A PICTURE OF MICHAEL?! And that Ranboo & Tubbo have some kind of relations

Niki getting mauled by an Enderman as Techno gasps and yells “IT’S RANBOO HE’S BACK”

Techno heading the Snowchester to see Ranboo, then seeing Hannah fixing the mess the Whither made, sneaking up behind her and pulling out an axe like “It would be incredibly bad manners… but I could….”, then turning to see Sapnap and Sam had been staring at him that entire time and runs off

{ Karl during this chaos typing in the chat “hey guys I’m watching cartoons at Kinoko Kingdom if anyone wants to join in! :)” and everyone who had been at the prison fight going like “Aw hell yeah buddy sounds awesome! Be there soon! :)” }

Techno being amazed as Foolish’s mansion

Techno NOT breaking into their house to see Michael isn’t there

Tubbo and Techno listening in (and interrupting) Dream and Sapnap’s lore

Tubbo’s own legion of dogs comes pouring in to protect him 🥺

Tubbo FINALLY (HE DIDN’T KNOW YET???) realizing his SON HAS BEEN MISSING

Tubbo and Techno being meta as hell about their future adventure and current cliffhanger (“Next stream will be in March”)

#this went from a funny post to a full recap of the stream (mostly my favorite moments)#that Karl moment was my favorite honestly LMAO #that and the meta at the end. cant wait for these 2 unlikely heroes and enemies to team up to save a child and become besties along the way #technoblade lore #technoblade #dream smp #dsmp #mcyt #11-28-21 #fee free to add your favorite/more notable parts if I missed any!

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dreams-your-smp · 3 years ago

Text

The last thoughts of a dying C!Ranboo

This is my first fanfic, and it’s C!Ranboo thinking about his life before he dies.

This is a c!Ranboo fan-fiction! Do not worry, this is not about the content creator. Tw for murder, blood, death and disassociation ! If you need me to tw this with anything else just let me know :]

Ranboo was a strange creature. He was a biological mystery, with his skin split into two colors, one an ashen black, and the other a dull white. They knew they were half enderman, but the other half? He could only speak it in the tongue of his ancestors that he had remembered through everything. When he cried, the tears burned his skin, leaving pinkish scars on what used to be unmarred skin. Enderman never quite have this problem, seeing as their bodies were built to keep them safe from the ugly scars and searing pain water causes. Ranboo however, was not as lucky as that. Their spine wasn't made to hunch over like he did, but Ranboo was tired of seeing people cower under his height, so when he joined the SMP he did everything in his power to make people less scared. For others, their so called 'chat' (Something that transcended whether you worshipped the church of prime or the odd memberships that people such as Technoblade spoke of) was something that swayed their every move, and in Technoblades case even granting him his throne at the right hand of the blood god. But Ranboo? His chat was simply purple particles similar to the ones his kin left behind, talking at him and to each other as he walked. They assigned themselves numbers and reminded Ranboo ever so strongly of home. That was another thing Ranboo thought about often, having a home was such a risk in the SMP, and so they tried not to get attached to houses. Yet something in him yearned for a home, and the realm where he had come from. The realm where he belonged. But, then he got welcomed somewhere else. The tundra. Somehow, The blood god’s disciple and the Angel of death themselves, bringers of destruction and anarchy had decided Ranboo could stay.

Despite the kindness, he didn't let himself get attached. He didn't build walls, because they were just more things to lose (and it made him feel much better to see in all directions when he jolted awake from a nightmare). If he was honest, L'manberg never truly felt like home. He stayed because his friends were there, and Tubbo was there. Tubbo, his platonic husband. The goat hybrid had been through far more than any teenager should ever have to, and he had to be reminded of it everday. Everytime the hybrid looked in the mirror, Ranboo saw his gaze travel to the firework shaped scar that now adorned his face. For a while, things were as good as they could get on the SMP. They adopted a young piglin named on valentines day, and he had been safe in their home for so long. Than they made the mansion (or rather Foolish did) and for a while, things were almost ok. Sure maybe Ranboo was scrambling to keep his son hidden from his landlords (Maybe they were even his friends?) and he was entering enderwalk states more and more frequently, but at least he was ok. But then, the prison. Sam had shown up at his house on his birthday (Ranboo had been planning to celebrate it with, he knew the piglin loved cake) and had shoved him into the prison, with his words clipping sharply. Ranboo had soon found that in the other cell over was a strange man who said his name was 'ConnorEatsPants'. Ranboo decided that he would call him Connor. Connor liked to talk, he told Ranboo about how he got put in jail becuase of something something Chik-fi-la? Ranboo wasn't really sure what that was about. But regardless, Connor kept talking. Ranboo almost enjoyed it, his particles had left long ago, and he was scared he was going to have to face his thoughts. But he didn't, because Connor had enough words for the both of them. A few days after Ranboo got put in the prison, an alarm jolted him from his sleep. He pressed his ears flat against his head in an atempt to drown out the noise, feeling his tail lashing from side to side. It was the prison alarm, had Dream broken out? Wasn't the prison more secure than that? His tail lashed even more furiously, and he felt his pupils dilate. He shook his head, making small vwooping noises. Dream couldn't get out on his own, the masked man wasn't smart enough for that. So it must be Techno! Techno had come to rescue Ranboo! He gave a high pitched vwoop in his mother tounge, one of pure joy and happiness. He heard footsteps near his cell, and angled his ears towards the noise. It was Techno! There was someone else there, but before Ranboo could figure out who, he heard the door to his right open. But then! His door creaked open slowly. Ranboo's ears flicked upwards, and his tail wagged happily as he vwooped and cheered. But then he saw him. Standing behind Techno, was dream. The man had unkempt dirty blonde hair, and a cracked porcelain mask.

Ranboo hissed looking away from the bright green eye before he could make eye contact. Dreams clothes were covered in shiny netherite armor, which were clearly either Phil or Techno's craftmanship. Ranboo hissed at Dream for a second before turning back to Techno. "What is he doing here?" he hissed, teeth sharp. Techno opened his mouth to respond, but then Dream cut in "Shut up Ranboo," he said, rolling his eyes sharply. Techno stepped between them before Ranboo could do anything, and so Ranboo did as he wished. Not everyday that the Blood Gods closest follower was telling him what to do. As they fought the prison guards, Ranboo was almost hopeful. Maybe, just maybe this would be it? But hope is a dangerous thing. It carries you higher and higher on it's gentle wings, promising you the safety you yearn for, and then your plummeting towards the Earth stripped of your armor. Ranboo knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. Things were almost working, they could win this! But then, Ranboo had pulled out his sword, and faced Sam. He was kicked down, and pulled back up with his hands held behind his back. Ranboo hissed and lashed furiously, but than everything came to a standstill. Sam roughly pushed a picture of his son into Ranboos hands. The piglin looked scared, trapped wherever he was. Ranboo gasped, and ever so slowly took off his armor, letting it vanish into his inventory. Techno looked over "Why is he taking off his armor?" Techno said, eyes widening as Ranboo looked back towards him. "They have -" he said, voice cracking. Then Sam was screaming again, telling Dream that if he didn't come back, Ranboo was going to be killed. But all Ranboo could do was stare down at the wrinkled picture grasped tightly in his claws. Techno was screaming, he thought to himself, feeling detached from the situation. Huh, he was about to die. Ranboo felt Sams arm move before he felt the pain. Ranboo saw steam rising from his face, and felt searing pain. Ranboo threw the picture towards Techno, having written the cords on the back with shaky claws. Ranboo felt the sword be dragged over his chest, and the blood trickling down his chest. Ranboo was thrown to the water. And Ranboo smiled as he saw his last flickering glance of Techno. [Ranboo was killed by The Wardens Will]

#C! Ranboo fanfiction #C! Ranboo fanfic #C! Ranboo #dream smp fanfiction #DSMP #dsmp fanfic #dsmp fanfiction #tw murder #tw death #tw blood #tw dissociation #Dream smp #Zee Writes

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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 4 years ago

Note

Just a small thing that you can definitely ignore if you want and I know this might be bad to say or even selfish but I just.. miss the old Schlatt? not the one who's now doing this content and making hurtful jokes just for money. because every day I'm losing more and more hope that off camera, he's a genuine person?

Or I just want him to improve and become better? I don't know, I know I might be selfish for being like that and I do recognise that parasocial relationships do exist and he is merely a stranger to me but I just want him to become better and to be better. curse me and my heart where I just want the best for everyone, even if I don't know them. c': I think I miss the old Schlatt - because I feel like even this persona he has is not doing him any good?

This might be a thought but you know when you look at someone and you can just see or feel that their mindset is affecting them - especially when it's affecting them negatively? I noticed that with him. Again, I know I'm a mere stranger and I don't know anything about him but even with strangers you can notice this? When he was on a break from that sort of content while he was moving, on the update "I'm Back" video he had a better energy? But when he started to embrace that persona again, his energy is just becoming worse and worse. the only times his energy was better again was when he had the moments with Jambo?

I don't know. I'm just going on a ramble at this point but I just wish he became better?

This is the exact reason I still watch the guy! I completely get where you're coming from, and it can be hard to have these sorts of conversations without speculating about what goes on 'behind the scenes' (something we know Schlatt is uncomfortable with and is possibly one of the reasons he puts on such a contrary persona).

I agree that his content has taken a downturn lately. But I don't think it's the fault of the persona, I think it's the fault of him misusing the persona. Of course he can do whatever he wants, I don't really care cause if he decides he wants to keep being a bastard then that's his problem and I'll stop watching cause that content isn't for me. However, I have some ideas about why the more recent videos have been 'worse':

His heart isn't in it. Jackbox games are fun and all but they aren't the kind of content Schlatt likes to make. In my opinion. His old channel had videoessays, but he's said before that they don't make enough money for him to keep doing that. I think he likes the little slice of life videos more because they're easy and because they're fun. I think the Wii videos were great, well-structured and good examples of well-done satire, but I feel he got a bit bored of it so he tried jackbox, which just isn't the same.

The satire doesn't work with jackbox videos. In the Wii videos it's just him and the game and some props. He plays his character and clearly makes fun of the kind of person he's portraying, or he just makes fun of himself, which is cool too lol. For example in the Wii fishing video, he plays the character of a misogynistic guy who loves fishing and hates his wife. Then proceeds to be terrible at the game and get angry to the point of making himself look like a fool. That's why we laugh! We laugh at the dumbass he's portraying. And obviously this is the same for most of the bits he does. The classic one being the gay Catholic patriot. The unexpected clash of traits makes it funny. With the jackbox vids you don't really get that. It's him and some friends. And yeah, they make fun of themselves and each other, but it has the unwanted side effect of being easy to turn into something that starts to make fun of other people, such as minorities or victims of tragedy, which isn't okay.

Mans is just trying to get a rise out of people. We all know this. The last video was purposefully offensive to try to scare the dream stans away. Which was dumb, and he shouldn't have done it, but I get why he did it. With everything that's happened recently, I'm sure Schlatt doesn't want to be associated with that sort of fanbase. Unfortunately, he went the wrong way about scaring them off.

Moving, the entire thing with lunch club and cmc, getting a cat, and Connor moving in, all while making near-weekly videos, two podcasts, and being on streams. That's a lot to think about, which is probably another reason for the lazier content and falling back on 'easy' jokes that often turn out offensive.

What I'm saying is that I feel he's in a rut. He hit a dead end, tried to fix things, then fell off and made a shitty video as an attempt for controversy. If I'm right, then I feel that he's gonna take a bit of a break (he's already taken a pretty long break if you look at how long it's been since the last video on his main channel) and come back when he's actually ready to do some better content.

The video was bad, and I get why people don't feel comfortable watching him anymore. I've made my peace with it and I'm hoping for some better content soon. But not too soon!

Lots of his friends have spoken about the whole thing, and the general consensus is that yeah, it was bad. I think Connor talked about him and Schlatt seeing a kid watching The Video and Schlatt having this 'oh shit' moment? I might be wrong, if anyone has a link to the clip or stream where Connor talks about this lmk. But regardless, I think mans is taking a break and sorting himself out. There are also rumours he might stream soon but idk idk.

I feel that off-camera he's a completely different person. Minx said she sees it that way, Ty also said he's very respectful and chill off-camera. So I don't think he's a bad person (I don't think he's racist or anti-Semetic, he fucked up but I highly doubt he believes that shit irl and I think claiming that he does is just performative and kinda weird. I understand microagressions are also very bad and can be used by racists/be racist but on their own they do not make you a racist especially if it's poor taste jokes that went too far etc).

You're right though, he definitely wanted to make money. That didn't really work out for him though (if you look at the stats on The Video, it performed terribly) so I doubt it's a mistake he would make again.

For now, if you want to see better content that (I think) reflects Schlatt in a better light (aka he's still doing a bit but he's much more chill and less of a bastard about it) I recommend the chuckle sandwich podcast and sleep deprived podcast. He's on OTK streams a lot too but that sorta thing isn't really for me.

Also stan connoreatspants bringing us Jambo content all the time. 🙌

Idk if that was helpful, but it's more a gesture of solidarity since I agree with and feel everything you're saying. Of course, this is all speculation, please don't spread this as fact because I don't know Schlatt any better than you do. He's just a comfort CC and guy I think is kinda neat when he's not doing dumb shit.

Sorry for the long post. Also, you can disregard the shit I said about racism if you want cause I'm not qualified to talk about it really. There are good points for calling someone a racist for jokes like the ones in the video, but I feel like the rest of the factors should be looked at too since this is a complicated situation. Again, just my opinion, please no hate. If you have a complaint DM me or send an ask. I'm open to hearing other povs.

Have a nice day !

#jschlatt #long post #discourse #negativity #schlatt #lunch club mention #connoreatspants #racism

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conarcoin · 2 years ago

Video

Transcript:

Connor: I was told, and I quote... ConnorEatsPants, you've been scammed, motherfucker. Get in the cuck shed.

----

Connor: Did you see what they did behind my house? Look at this.

Schlatt: Oh no, I wanna see. I wanna see now.

Connor: They're mocking me. Look at this.

Schlatt: [starts laughing hysterically]

Connor: No, it's not funny. Don't laugh. No, it's not... It's not funny!

Schlatt: Eat pant Conar!

Connor: No... It's not funny...

Schlatt: Eat pant Conar!

Connor: It's not funny! Stop it! Stop it!

Schlatt: Thank you for following ConnorEatsPants!

----

Schlatt: Yeah. You really have to learn to assert yourself. And in fact, I'm liquidating more of your shares. You now own 40% of the company.

Connor: Shut up. False.

Schlatt: ...And I own 60%. No, I just did it.

Connor: False.

Schlatt: I just did it.

Connor: I'm not losing any more today.

Schlatt: I actually just did it. Listen, I'm just trying to get yourself to assert yourself a little bit more.

Connor: Stop it.

Schlatt: I'm looking at a charity case right now.

----

Schlatt: Wow. Wow, look at that.

Connor: I gave him cobble as a sign of pity.

Schlatt: You just really like... Cemented in your submissive nature right there.

Connor: I really did.

Schlatt: In fact Connor...

Connor: What else am I supposed to be?

Schlatt: You uh, you own 35% of the company now. I just decided.

----

Schlatt: 35! Bye! You dumb idiot.

Connor: I don't know where to go.

Schlatt: The fuck... Go home.

Connor: I'm staying. I have nothing...

Schlatt: [overlapping] 30%. 30%.

Connor: I have noth- [laughing] I have nothing.

----

Michael: I might fucking take your fucking 69th death right now, motherfucker!

Connor: Michael, I'm gonna be honest with you... That would really hurt my feelings.

----

Schlatt: Fuck this guy. He's having a mental breakdown, I think.

Connor: [hysteric giggling]

Schlatt: I think he's lost his- Oh, he's lost his-

Connor: [screaming] Oh god!

----

Schlatt: Yeah.

Connor: ...Why do I have to... Why are we... Why are we doing the c-

Schlatt: Just...

Connor: What'd I do?

Schlatt: Come on, come on. Just come on.

Connor: [sighs]

Schlatt: Get down there.

Connor: I feel like I earned not having to go in the cuck shed.

Schlatt: Connor... Connor, get in the cuck shed.

Connor: ...Okay.

----

[Loud ringing]

Ted: He can challenge it by trial of strength.

[Ringing stops]

Ted: In which Connor and Jschlatt can...

Connor: I wanna challenge it my-

Ted: Oh- Oh!

Connor: [overlapping] Hold on, wait!

Ted: Hold up-

Schlatt: I rest my case. Goodbye gentlemen.

----

Connor: [deadpan] Help me, Michael, I'm gonna drown. Michael. This isn't funny, Michael.

Michael: I know it's not funny...

Connor: [overlapping] Help! Michael! Michael! [echoing]

Michael: Hold on...

Connor: Michael, it hurts!

Michael: Hold on, here's a...

Connor: Michael, oh god! Oh fuck, Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael!

----

Schlatt: Oh, you're gonna use glass for that?

Connor: [laughs] Probably wasn't the best plan.

Schlatt: That's the worst thing you could have used. Oh my god!

Connor: Ah, fuck.

Schlatt: [distorted] You dumb idiot. You stupid... You stupid idiot! [trying not to laugh] Pick that up!

Connor: [giggling]

Schlatt: Pick that up! Oh, now you're breaking the fucki-

Connor: I didn't even-

Schlatt: [overlapping] Alright, I'm comi- [burps] I'm coming down here, you stupid-

Altrive: Did you just say "bruh"?

Schlatt: [laughing] Alright, alright.

Connor: [quietly] Here you go.

Schlatt: Alright- NO, YOU G- Oh my god!

----

Connor: I found one.

Schlatt: [giggling] Eat pant Conar!

Connor: Stupid squid.

Schlatt: Oh, that's funny. That's still funny. That'll never not be funny. Eat pant Conar.

Connor: Are you talking about the- Stop!

[Schlatt starts laughing again]

Connor: It's not funny!

----

Altrive: [reading sign] Peni-

Connor: You got pranked, bitch! You got pranked!

[Minecraft hurt sound]

Connor: Ah! No, don't kill me!!

----

Schlatt: There goes ConnorEatsPants, making fun of gay people one more time. Yeah!

Connor: [overlapping] I did not make fun of gay people.

Schlatt: Oh yeah, make fun of gay people! Keep doin' it!

----

Connor: Look at him! Look at him! He really likes treats too, you see? If you feed him a treat...

[Parrot dies]

Wilbur: No, don't give it-

[Minecraft music gets louder]

----

Schlatt: I don't... I don't like this one bit.

Connor: Oh my god! [screaming] Oh my god!

Schlatt: [screams loudly]

Connor: We're fucked. No. We're actually fucked. We're gonna die.

Connor: We're drow- Get in the water.

[Sound of going underwater]

Connor: They can't take us. Get in the water.

Schlatt: It's pushing... I'm trying to drown myself, it's pushing me...

Connor: [overlapping] We're gonna drown.

Schlatt: It's pushing me. Yeah.

Connor: Together. We're just like-

Schlatt: [overlapping] I'm trying my best. I found a little nook to be in.

Connor: He wants a deal. Wait. Don't-

Schlatt: [overlapping] Oh, he wants a deal! Oh, he wants to deal.

----

Schlatt: Connor's first SMPLive stream, they just made him place torches.

[Connor types "Connor's Social Anxiety Corner" on a sign]

----

Schlatt: I need to hear your Brooklyn accent. We're the NYPD this week.

Connor: Ugh... Oh no... I'm not good at accents.

Schlatt: Aye! Aye, Detective Tony!

Connor: [trying and failing at a Brooklyn accent] Aye! Detective Tony! It's- It's me! ...Cop Guy.

Schlatt: See the only part of that sentence that had the accent was "aye".

Connor: I'm just gonna stick to saying aye.

Schlatt: [laughs] That's all you're gonna say?

Connor: Aye!

Schlatt: You're just gonna let me do the- You'll just let me do the talking and you'll just- You'll just pipe in with "aye!" every now and then?

Connor: Aye!

----

Connor: STOP! That's not my name!

Schlatt: Shut the fuck up, Conar! [laughing]

Connor: That's not my name. That's not funny.

Schlatt: Yeah, shut the fuck up, Conar. [laughs louder]

c!connor smplive being a sad wet cat for 5 minutes

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