#genuinely though this situation is far more common than you'd think and 9 times out of 10 you stay friends after

[hella1975]

me asking for relationship advice:

hella ! good day , how do u break up with someone ( they're a good friend and I'm p sure they won't like ??? start hating me n shit and the reason is just that I feel we work better as friends) HOWEEVR THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP AND IT LASTED REALLY LONG (10 MONTHS) AND IDK HOW TO BREAK UP.

also !!! you do not have to answer this, I just kinda see u as a big sister figure ( yes yes parasocial relationship etc etc whatever) and I don't really have a big sister figure irl so here I am,, at 2 am wrktkng into ur little ask box <3 anyways!!! i will figure this out for real and I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable or was too much!!!!! have a good day <33 meow

omg hi! i absolutely don't mind this at all and i actually find it really sweet. im v good at setting my own boundaries but thank you for being careful anyway <3

oof i was actually in this exact same situation a couple years ago. i was really good friends with this one boy, and then when he asked me out i kind of was like 'yeah why not' and it wound up being an 8 month relationship where i knew from DAY ONE that actually i didn't like him like that. i wasn't leading him on per say because that's a shit thing to do, i was just young and hadn't quite figured out the difference between platonic and romantic feelings until i was already dating the guy lmfaoooo. we were incredibly close friends though and i was so scared of losing that that i just didn't say anything, and that's how it wound up going on so long.

so from personal experience, i think dragging it on when you know you want to break up with them doesn't actually benefit either of you. it's scary thinking you might lose them completely, and change isn't very appealing after so long knowing one thing, but at the end of the day, if you truly care about each other in any capacity, then you'll overcome it, and if they genuinely hate you for it, then maybe they weren't someone you want in your life after all. i know for me, when i broke up with that guy, he didn't speak to me for a while and he was very upset, but then we became friends again, and we were closer for it. it was also a VERY funny joke from then on because we were best mates and also exes and the comedic potential of that is god tier.

just don't do anything inadvertently mean for the sake of ease, like breaking up over text! i know a face-to-face conversation like this is hard and UNBELIEVABLY awkward, and there really is nothing you can do to avoid that, but you want to try and leave as little bad blood as possible if you want to stay friends after :)