#genuinely have NO idea what end game looks like for Ballard but I'm doubtful it's like. good. uh.

[amaranthsynthesis]

1 and 30 for Durge ask meme ~ LordGoretash

love the signature on the anonymous asks I always get a kick out of this

(questions from here)

What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Ballard's first 'urge', the foster family slaughter we get the flashback of, is from when he was six or seven years old. He was literally just a baby, and he was kind of a difficult kid--he didn't learn to speak for a long time (he knew, he just did not want to, so no one figured out he could for ages) and he did not, as few children do, have a lot of coping mechanisms to his name. He threw a lot of tantrums, and one of them ended up with a body count of like a dozen, since no one was really anticipating the whole 'murderous child of Bhaal' thing to be an issue for another few years at least. A lot of noncombatants, but not entirely servants or slaves--a few actual ranking house members and soldiers were among the dead as well.

The matron mother had her thoughts about how Ballard's training was going to go, but the plans were adjusted and escalated rapidly. Since the issue, as far as she could determine, was one of self-control, Ballard needed training in a class that was focused on discipline. Self-regulation and meditation would help make sure he (and everyone around him) survived long enough to enact Bhaal's world-ending plans. So she had a monk brought in, an older tiefling woman from the surface they had some trade with, and she organized Ballard's training. She could not remain in the underdark permanently, and her weeks teaching Ballard were punctuated by months away where she left him 'homework' and forms to study in her absence, but the training itself as well as the solitude suited Ballard well and he grew into it easily. He struggled still with his temper, and was only trained with his fists and a staff for a decade or so, but it made his life immensely less stressful.

His teacher was a monk of the Open Hand, but she pegged him for the Way of Shadows basically immediately. Between his home environment and his quiet, watchful nature, it made a great deal of sense--though the tiefling wasn't made aware that her pupil was Bhaalspawn, and that the skills of an assassin would prove invaluable.

30. What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

This is a great question because I, Finn, do not know. My PC struggles with Act 3 and I am a bit overwhelmed by all of the content, so I've not finished a playthrough or made firm decisions about the end of Ballard's personal storyline! So disclaimer, all of the below is speculation and therefor subject to change.

Ballard wants to help solve his friends problems. From his perspective, this involves most of them seizing the power that was used to hurt them in the past so that it cannot be used to do so again. He's supportive of Gale using the crown, and Astarion using the ritual, and though Shadowheart did not end up killing the Nightsong he SUPER thinks they should just kill everyone in the House of Grief so they can't come after he later. He's currently in contention with Wyll about rescuing his father from the Iron Throne, with Karlach about allying with Gortash again, and with Lae'zel because he can't decide if he mistrusts the Emperor or Orpheus more and will not commit to raiding Raphael's. Shit's not going like.... great.

Ballard is torn in a hundred directions and doesn't know how the absolute crisis is going to turn out. He can't decide what he wants, if he is trying to redeem or better himself, if he should return to the purpose he was created for or reject his father entirely, if his new friends or old allies outweigh one another. If asked what he intends to do after, I don't think he'd have an answer. If asked what he hopes might come after... Ballard would still not have an answer, probably, but he hopes very dearly that he will not be alone in the end.