#genuine consideration of going into people's askboxes and asking for help

[toxifoxx]

hghhhhh sorry for being annoying

[crimson-snowfall]

Hello ! I absolutely love your headcanons, so when I saw your askbox was open I jumped in. I wanted to Ask a headcanon for the ikevamp suitors (if you can't do all of them I really love Mozart, Napoléon, Vincent and Arthur... But I must admit that if you could do all of them it would be fantastic :)) ) with a MC with an eating disorder ? Because this was not really common during their Time and I Wonder how they would react ? Thank you so much and continue with the good work !)

Hey there sorry for the wait, I tried to do all characters but I’m simply running out of time (there are still 7 requests after this and I might close my ask box once uni starts again), so I did 8 of them… which is 2/3 of them all so I hope that’s fine with you too.

A little disclaimer, this topic kinda scared me at first because gone are the days of the internet where people don’t get offended by literally anything. Anyway MC’s eating disorder here is nothing too extreme, she just eats way too little to the point that the suitors can’t help but worry over how unhealthy it is sometimes.

Ikevamp HC request: Reacting to MC with eating disorder (Napoleon, Leo, Arthur, Vincent, Theo, Isaac, Dazai, Comte)

Napoleon

Napoleon is notably bewildered since he has ruled an empire in a time where famine is still a common occurrence. He asked you if famine occurs as often in the modern world, to which you reply that it doesn’t.

He genuinely wonders what could’ve brought about such condition in a time where food is abundant, so he turns to Sebastian for further enlightenment and advice.

As soon as Napoleon gained a deeper understanding about your condition and how certain standards from the society you came from might’ve had brought it about, he wrote down a list, which includes his favorite dishes, as well as the particularly scrumptious foreign dishes he had tasted in his human life.

Napoleon makes good use of his culinary talent, and uses your curiosity over the variety of dishes you’ve never seen in your life as a motivation to discover more recipes so he can keep on feeding you new things and keep you healthy.

Leo

At some point in his life, Leo was a vegetarian, so he knew what it’s like to have people questioning your choices in food. Thus, it comes naturally that he out of all the residents in the mansion would understand you the most.

However, he acknowledges the fact that you’re eating way too less than you should, so he has found a way to subtly make sure you’re still getting enough nutrients from what little you eat.

Leo has put his genius mind into work by extracting essential nutrients from natural ingredients and somehow converted them into spices. He has discretely asked Sebastian to put them in your meals. The rich taste enhanced your appetite and improved your preference for certain meals.

Arthur

Upon hearing about your condition, Arthur takes it as a challenge to keep you healthy without overstepping your boundaries, and without you realizing that he’s began to give you some special treatment.

Your dates became more often and Arthur has kept a watchful eye on you every time you eat, rigorously taking a mental note on your eating habits and compiling this data so he can better deduce what foods you prefer from the rest.

Once Arthur has completed this period of initial observation, he immediately puts his plan into action. Every other day, Arthur would bring you breakfast in bed, where he would serve you the dishes he figured you like the most.

At first his cooking is average, but as he continued observing you, in several months he managed to perfect the array of meals that gives you a well-balanced diet.

Vincent

Vincent grew very concerned upon learning about your condition and tries to find out more about it. In fact, he’s become so pre-occupied with the thought as to what food you may like that he subconsciously ended up painting a lot of portraits of food.

The food in his paintings looked insanely mouthwatering to you, and you ended up having cravings for those foods. Once Vincent had realized this, he asked Sebastian for the list of dishes that would be served for the next few days, and painted them.

Your appetite has considerably improved in the following days and overtime has gradually approached satisfactory levels of normal food intake. Thankfully, Theo doesn’t seem to mind his brother had developed a habit of painting food every other day.

Theo

One time, you fainted from eating so little, which earned you a severe scolding from Theo. The two of you got into a heated argument, and it is only when you explained to Theo about your condition did he calm down.

Theo apologized to you the next day, but told you that you can’t keep doing that to yourself and he will definitely figure out a way to keep the incident of you fainting from happening again.

Theo doesn’t want to be forceful about it, so he takes it slowly but surely. One day he told you that he believes that “Food becomes more enjoyable when you share it with your loved ones,” and asked you if you would like to eat his pancakes with him.

With his method, you eventually acquired his addiction for pancakes, but Theo knows you need more than pancakes to stay healthy. That’s how Theo began making his own pancakes for you with secret ingredients he researched himself that will provide you with all your other basic nutritional needs.

Isaac

As a vampire with an unusual condition that gives him an extraordinary appetite, Isaac can relate to you one way or another.

Isaac thinks of your condition in a similar way he thinks of his, that you have no control over it and thus you can expect him to be the last person who’s going to tell you that it’s your choice to be like that.

However, Isaac still feels bad for you because on the other hand, he has you to satisfy his hunger. So he thought that the least he could do for you is to give you something in return for always sating his hunger.

It surprised you when Isaac suddenly got into cooking. While the meals he prepares for you certainly does end up tasting strange, you just can’t have enough of his cooking after seeing him put in the effort and the embarrassed expression he makes when he asks if you if it even tastes edible.

Dazai

Dazai listens attentively to you as you explain your condition to him. He looked like his usual whimsical self as he offered you some words of comfort about it.

Unbeknownst to you, Dazai was already coming up with an idea on how he could possibly help you with your condition as you told him about it.

Every now and then, you would find a neatly wrapped box of bento on your bed. Being stuck in 19th century France, you couldn’t help but miss Japanese food so you end up having a feast to yourself every time this happens. Not to mention how ridiculously good the dishes taste.

Dazai skillfully dodges any confrontation about it but that unmistakable genuine smile of contentment you rarely see on his face afterwards confirms your suspicions. You’re curious whether Dazai prepares these dishes himself, but knowing that he goes to such lengths to keep you healthy deeply warms your heart.

Comte

Comte’s expression didn’t show it, but he was a bit horrified to hear about your eating disorder (mainly because he feels like he can’t spoil you that much on your fancy dates with him). The next time the door to the modern time opened, he didn’t return for at least three days.

In the time that he spent in the modern world, Comte got in touch with a team of health and diet experts and sought advice on how to deal with your condition. Of course, he hasn’t told you about this.

The changes were not abrupt, so you didn’t notice how the meals being prepared for you changed in variety and nature overtime, but whatever it is, it was doing a good job of promoting your appetite.

You also noticed new dishes in the menu of the fancy restaurants he often takes you to, which reminds you of the unique assortment of ingredients in the meals you usually have in the mansion.

Next HC request will be up in a few hours or so because I got busy with enrollment yesterday and couldn’t post one for yesterday, thanks for being patient with me~

[bbq-hawks-wings]

I want to express an unpopular opinion. I hope for your understanding, because such things don't like to listen. Why does everyone think that Hawks is a bird? I couldn' fit my logical arguments into the askbox :( (about how he sits on a pole "like a bird", supposedly likes jewelry and so on). Even his quirk is called Fierce Wings, not a Hawk, not a Red Bird. Do you remember the names of the quirks of Hound Dog and Tsuyu-chan? We haven't evidence to believe that Hawks is behaves like a bird.

I do believe very much he’s a bird, and if you would let me friend, I would love to try and prove it to you because I think the evidence is overwhelming. I’ll make a TL;DR at the end but I’d really like to take the opportunity to perhaps teach others at least one method for literary analysis since it can be a really dry and boring subject to learn in school but is SO useful not only for getting good grades but getting into colleges as well as interpreting both entertainment and genuinely important information like the news, history, laws, and scientific papers. Using fiction - especially such a rich, engaging one like HeroAca - is a great way to try it out without the pressure of a grade. I don’t have the qualifications to teach in any formal capacity, but as a “peer” tutor I hope I can be helpful.

I’m going to put everything under the cut from here because this is going to get LONG, but I promise the TL;DR at the end will be very easy to read. If you liked this sort of unofficial tutorial please let me know. I’d love to help make “academic” skills like this more accessible for those who might benefit from it and enjoy it, but it doesn’t make sense to put in all that effort moving forward if I’m garbage at it.

Before we get too into things, I want to lay out a few notes to keep in mind as we go.

I will only be using the official translations from Viz’s Shonen Jump website when available. Fan translations are more than close enough to casually enjoy and follow the story, but professional translators are paid to know and get various nuances correct and some of the trickier cultural background behind certain phrases (for example, the phrase “where the rubber meets the road” might make zero sense in a foreign language if translated literally, so an equal cultural phrase should be used instead) that give more exact information. Rarely is this too important, but sometimes it helps, plus it supports the source material.

If you’ve followed my blog for a while you might know I’m very fond of doing this kind of thing in my spare time and that I’m a huge fan of YouTube channels like Game/Film Theory, Overly Sarcastic Productions, Extra Credits, and Wisecrack that do this kind of thing with popular media as well. If you like this sort of content, may I encourage you to check them out after this to see how else you can apply these kinds of analytical skills to things that aren’t homework.

My writing style tends to meander, but I do my best to cut out the fat and only include relevant information so even though there’s a lot of information here, please know that I’m trying to be thorough and explain things to the best of my ability. If I seem to go off on a tangent, I’m trying to set up or contextualize information to explain why it’s relevant and then come back to the point. In other words, please be patient and bear with me as I go.

Now, to start, I want to explain at least my method for analyzing a text/piece of media. There is a set order and number of steps to take, and it’s as follows:

Read the material all the way through.

Come up with a hypothesis about something you’ve noticed when reading it. (In this case, it’s “Is Hawks actually supposed to be a bird?”)

Collect as much relevant information as possible and test the evidence to see if it supports the hypothesis we’ve made.

Step back and look at everything again with those points in mind.

Determine if we were right or wrong with the evidence we have.

If we were wrong, go back to step 3 to figure out what fell apart and see if we need to go back to step 2.

If that sequence sounds familiar it’s because it’s the scientific method! Aha, didn’t think we’d be pulling science into all this, did you? Don’t worry, we won’t be putting numbers or formulas anywhere near this discussion - the scientific method is just a way we can observe something and test if what we thought about it is actually true; and it applies to almost everything we as humans can observe - from the laws of the universe, to arts and crafts, to philosophy and religion, and so on! When you think about it that way, whole new possibilities can open up for you when it comes to understanding how the world works.

So with that set let’s (finally) begin!

Steps 1 and 2 are already done. We’ve read the manga and want to prove that Hawks is a bird. (We’re going to try and prove he IS a bird because in the context of the series there’s a lot that *isn’t* a bird and less stuff that *is* which will make our job easier.) So now, we’re onto: 

Step 3 - collect data and see what conclusions we can get just from our evidence.

Now, to pause again (I know, bear with me!) there’s a few different kinds of information and considerations we have to keep in mind as we collect. There are four kinds of information that are important to know about in order to determine if it’s good data that will help us with the testing phase in Step 4. The kinds of information to keep in mind are:

Explicit information - this is information that is directly spelled out for us. For example, Hawks says, “I like my coffee sweet.” and his character sheet says “Hawk’s favorite food is chicken.” That’s all there is to it, and it’s pretty hard to argue with. This is the easiest type of info to find.

Implicit information - this is info that isn’t directly spelled out but is noticeable either in the background or as actions, patterns, or behaviors that can be observed. For example, Hawks has mentioned in at least three very different places his concerns over people getting hurt while he tries to get in with the League:

Chapter 191 when confronting Dabi about the Nomu he says, “You said you’d release it in the factory on the coast, not in the middle of the damn city!”

Chapter 191 again in a flashback with the Hero Commission he asks, “What about the people who might be hurt while I’m infiltrating the League?”

Chapter 240 when discovering how much influence and power the League has gained, “If someone had taken down the League sooner, all those good citizens wouldn’t have had to die!”

Hawks never says in so many words, “I never want innocent people to get hurt under any circumstances!” but the pattern of behavior and concern is consistent enough to form a pattern and clue us in that this is a key part of his character to keep in mind.

Peripheral information - this is information that isn’t directly to do with Hawks or maybe even the series as a whole but is still relevant to keep in mind for his character and the questions we’re asking. This may include extra content that isn’t the “series” proper, but is still an official source like interviews with Horikoshi, etc. but it can go even further. For example, while we try to prove that he’s a bird, we should have some knowledge about what makes a bird a bird, some specific and notable birdlike habits/behaviors/features, etc. This is just to show how wide-ranging we need to cast our informational net.

Contextual information - this will be important when we get to Step 4, but it’s good to keep in mind now. This is when we compare evidence against the broader scope of the series and consider the circumstances under which we find the information. For example, if I told you, “Harry kicked a dog.” you might think “What a jerk! What decent person kicks a dog?”; but if I said, “Harry kicked a dog while trying to keep it from biting his kid.” suddenly it re-frames the story. “Is the kid ok? Why was that dog attacking? Harry put himself in danger to keep his kid safe - what a great dad!”

I’ll go chronologically to make it easier to follow my evidence as I gather and give references as to where I found that information. I’ll go through the manga first, and then any peripheral sources that are either direct informational companions to the series (like character books or bonus character information sheets) and interviews with Horikoshi. Please note the categories these details fall into may vary based on opinion/interpretation, but I did my best to list them out for reference.

Chapter 185 - Explicit Type: Feathered wings - regardless of the specifics of his quirk it’s undeniable his wings are made up of feathers which is a distinctly birdlike quality. There are many mythical creatures and even dinosaurs that also have feathered wings, but this is our first big piece of evidence.

Chapter 186 - Peripheral Type: Large appetite - birds have an incredibly fast metabolism because flying takes so much energy. They’re constantly eating. Plenty of young men are big eaters, but it was specifically pointed out and works towards our hypothesis so we’ll keep it in our back pocket for now.

Chapter 186 - Implicit/Peripheral Type: Fantastic vision - Hawks senses the Nomu coming before the audience even is able to make out what’s headed their way. It could be implied his wings caught it first, which might be the case, but he looks directly at the Nomu and brings Endeavor’s attention to it. Birds have fantastic long-range vision, especially birds of prey that mainly swoop in from high in the air to ambush highly perceptive prey. Also good to add to the pile.

Chapter 192 + Volume 20 Cover - Implicit/Peripheral type: Wears jewelry and bright colors - birds are well documented to be drawn to bright colors and are known for decorating their nests with trinkets. Scientists actually have to be careful when tagging birds with tracking bracelets because they can accidentally make him VASTLY more popular with the ladies by giving him a brightly colored band to the point they can’t resist him! Male birds are also known for having bright, colorful displays for attracting and wooing mates. While Hawks isn’t the only male character to wear jewelry in the series, he’s the only one (to my recollection) that wears as MUCH jewelry so often both during and outside of work. It may not be obvious, but the illustration on Volume 20 is actually an advertisement for his line of (presumably) luxury jewelry. In other words, Hawks on some level is synonymous with style and flair to the point he can make money by selling jewelry with his name on it.

Chapter 20 Volume Cover - Explicit Type: Hawk emblem on the watch face - If the name “Hawks” didn’t give it away, he’s very clearly trying to align himself with more avian qualities if his merch has bird motifs. In other words Hawk = “Hero Hawks” and “Hero Hawks” = bird.

Chapter 192, 244, clear file illustration - Peripheral Type: birdlike posture. Chapter 244 isn’t quite released yet on the official site as of writing this, but when Hawks swoops in and beats the kids to the punch apprehending the criminals trying to subdue Endeavor, his hands are clenched in a very talon-like manner similar to a swooping eagle. When walking with Endeavor in 192, he holds his resting hand in a similar fashion. On the clear file illustration he’s not only perched on his tippy toes in a pose that has been famously called “owling” (remember that trend/meme, y’all?) but his wings are slightly outstretched to catch the breeze to keep from falling over which a lot of birds can be seen doing when they don’t have great purchase on a surface in a place that’s a little windy. The fact that he seems to gravitate to high places like birds are often seen doing might also be a noteworthy indication.

Extra sources:

Hawks Shifuku: Horikoshi describes Hawks as a “bird person” and says that his initial design was based off of Takahiro from his old manga. 

Takahiro’s design:

Current character design: The banner image on my blog was commissioned from a friend of mine who doesn’t follow the series. When I showed her reference images of Hawks, you know what she said? “Oh! His hair is feathers!” Even his eyebrows have that fluffy/scruffy texture to them that his hair has. The markings on his eyes can also be seen on him as a young child in Chapter 191 which means it isn’t makeup meant to tie in a theme or look. He has those dark, pointed eye markings like many birds do. So on some genetic level he resembles a bird.

Step 4: Testing our hypothesis with the gathered evidence.

There’s already a lot of compelling evidence that already closely aligns him to birds which is promising. However, to really prove our point we should try to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt he is a bird. To do that this time around I’m going to see how the series treats people with animal-based quirks and see if it’s consistent with the way Hawks is portrayed.

You bring up Hound Dog and Tsuyu, and they’re fantastic examples. Let’s start with Hound.

He’s pretty straight forward - he’s like a dog. He has a dog face, has dog-like tendencies, and dog-like abilities. Superpower: dog.

And in Tsuyu’s case - quirk: frog, just frog. She’s stated explicitly to have frog-like features, frog-like tendencies, have frog-like abilities, and even comes from a “froggy family.”

So with these two very explicitly animal-like characters the common theme seems to be “If they’re considered to be like a specific animal, they have to physically resemble that animal, act like that animal at times, and have abilities like that animal.” Let’s see if another animal-quirk character matches up and then put Hawks to the test.

Spinner’s quirk is Gecko. Based on our criteria, is he a gecko?

Does he look like a gecko, even vaguely? 

Yes, he’s covered head to toe in scales, and his face is very lizard-like.

Does he occasionally act like a gecko? 

Unclear. We haven’t really seen any evidence of this, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t. For the sake of our argument, we’ll just say no and move on.

Does he have gecko-like abilities?

 Yes! Though most of his abilities are limited to things like being able to stick to walls, it’s still gecko-like in origin and qualifies.

Spinner hits clearly hits ⅔ criteria and our standards seem pretty consistent, so let’s see how Hawks stands up.

Does he look like a bird? 

Not all of his features may explicitly scream “avian” at first, but upon closer observation and with his clear previous inspiration this is a resounding yes.

Does he act like a bird? 

Many of the mannerisms and behaviors he displays can just be chalked up to him being a little eccentric, but with the sheer number of them that also parallel birds in some way this is also a pretty convincing yes.

Does he have bird-like abilities? 

While most of the emphasis is on his wings and what they can do, it does seem that he not only possesses things like heightened senses which could be attributed to avian abilities but he also very much possess high intelligence and incredibly fast reaction times which birds are also known for.

Even if we only gave Hawks a “maybe/half a point” for those last two, he still meets the 2⁄3 that Spinner did. So we have another question to ask: Does a character have to have an explicitly named “animal” quirk to be considered to be/resemble a specific animal? Let’s look at Ojirou and Tokoyami for reference.

Ojirou’s quirk is just “tail,” but he’s been described by his peers and classmates as a monkey and does seem to share some more monkey-like features. It isn’t lumped in with his quirk because the only notable monkey-like quality he possesses is a tail. He doesn’t have fangs or an opposable toe - he just has a tail. For quirk classification as far as hero work goes, that’s the only important thing to note.

Tokoyami, on the other hand has an entire literal bird head, but nothing else. He has a beak, feathers, and even in illustrations of him as a baby he had fluffier feathers on his head. Even with only those details, he just screams “bird!” However, his quirk is classified as “Dark Shadow” because that’s what sets him apart for hero work.

Back at Hawks we see his quirk classified as “fierce wings” but like Ojirou and especially like Tokoyami, the emphasis on his wings is what sets his abilities as a hero apart. Otherwise, he’s just a guy who looks and acts a LOT like a bird.

But astute observers may have noticed I’ve left out a detail that’s more or less a nail in the coffin on the whole matter, so let me ask a question: Tsuyu in particular has something else of note that solidifies in our minds that she is, indeed, a frog - she explicitly calls herself a frog. Could we say the same about Hawks?

Chapter 199 - Explicit Type

Bingo. Hawks has known himself for as long as he’s been alive. He knows his habits, his impulses, his family/genes, and so on. If he calls himself a bird, are we going to call him a liar? In fact, he calls himself a bird not once, but twice!

That’s pretty much it. With the evidence stacked to that degree, I’d be hard pressed to NOT believe he’s a bird.

That was a long amount of text to get through, so if you’re here at the end thank you for sticking out with me to this point. I really appreciate it. This is more or less the process I use when analyzing anything and everything whether it be HeroAca related or not. Maybe it’ll help you if you’ve struggled with literary analysis, or at the very least I hope you got some enjoyment out of it.

TL;DR If Hawks looks like a bird, walks (acts) like a bird, is based on a bird (character), and calls himself a bird, he’s probably a bird.

[chasholidays]

For the 2018 Holiday ficfest please: a Bellarke version of Enchanted. And if you need a wiki reference, let me know because the askbox won’t let me leave a link for you

Clarke has a headache even before Madi jumps out of their taxi at eight o'clock at night, but that really is the last straw, the thing that takes her from “long day at the office” to “how drunk can I get before social services decides it’s a problem.”

That’s assuming, of course, that social services lets her keep her foster daughter, instead of deciding that a truly responsible guardian would have made sure that Madi never jumped out of the taxi in the first place, which is already a big ask. Not that Clarke thinks she should have predicted it, but still. She could have been paying more attention to Madi’s excited chattering, and realized that she was really worried about the prince she saw.

Oh god, Madi is going to chase after a homeless guy she thinks is a prince. Clarke can’t catch her soon enough.

Madi is small and her legs are short, so Clarke gets to her before she actually starts talking to the unknown stranger, but still close enough that she can get a better look at him. He is a real person, not part of the display like Clarke thought, dressed like the richest guy at the renaissance fair, like someone in a movie.

He also looks completely despondent.

“I told you he was real,” Madi says, petulant, and Clarke hugs her around the shoulders. Her head still aches, but parents don’t get time off.

“You did,” she says. “I’m sorry, I should have listened to you.” Her eyes flick back up to the guy. It’s hard to make out his features in the dark, but she can see his dark eyes watching her, too. “You okay?” she asks.

“Excuse me?”

“Any reason you’re on a billboard?”

He huffs. “You know how things look small when they’re far away?”

“I’ve noticed, yeah.”

“I thought this was a castle that was far away.”

“And you didn’t notice it was still too small?”

“Clarke,” says Madi. “He’s a prince.”

“Not a prince,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s complicated. But once I figured out this wasn’t a castle I still didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Great,” says Clarke. Madi is still watching the guy with big, concerned eyes, and their taxi is still idling at the side of the street, probably getting impatient. “Can we give you a ride somewhere? The Y?”

“Arcadia Castle.”

“Which is in–”

“Arcadia.”

She sighs. “Just come down, okay?”

“Thank you,” he says, to her surprise, and climbs down from the billboard. It was raining earlier and he’s still damp, black curls pasted to his forehead, overly fancy clothing hanging heavy on his frame. “I appreciate your help. You’re the first friendly people I’ve met since I arrived here.”

“From a castle,” says Clarke, just so she has whatever is happening straight.

“Arcadia,” Madi insists, and the guy smiles at her.

“Arcadia Castle,” he agrees. “I was supposed to be getting married.”

“Of course you were.” She sighs. “Sit in the front seat, okay?” she tells the guy. “You don’t have an address we can send you to? A phone number?”

He seems to be thinking, finally settles on, “No, I don’t have either of those.”

She sighs. “Okay, fine. We’ll figure it out in the morning. Just keep going,” she tells the driver, and he nods.

Clarke listens with half an ear as Madi starts grilling the guy. His name is Bellamy, he’s not a prince, but he is marrying a prince, which is at least a pretty progressive delusion, and he fell into a wishing well and ended up coming out in what sounds like Times Square.

Even if the whole thing is somehow completely true, Clarke can’t have him hanging out in her apartment with her daughter. There’s a line, and she has to draw it, and that line is “strange man she found on the street in the same apartment as her eight-year-old child.”

But there’s another consideration to be made, a deeper one, the one that has had Clarke feeding stray cats and trapping hurt squirrels in the park to bring them to the vet. Clarke has only had Madi for six months, and Madi still isn’t sure that Clarke really wants to keep her, or that she really wants to stay. And if Clarke decides they can just abandon this guy, it will mean something, something about Clarke and about Madi and what kind of person she is.

So she texts Miller.

Me: Can we sleep over at your place tonight?

Miller: 48 hours notice for babysitting, I keep telling youWhat if I’m doing something?

Me: Sounds like you’re notAnd it’s not babysitting, I’ll be there too

MillerMe: Madi found this homeless guy who thinks he’s a prince trying to get into a castle on a billboardHe’s not giving me a last name or an address or anywhere I can take him

Miller: So you want to take him to me?

Me: You know how Madi getsIf I send him away she’s just going to think I’m giving up on him

Miller: So how do I factor into this?

Me: I don’t want me and my daughter alone in my apartment with a guy I found on a billboardI don’t really want him to know where we live at all, but we need to grab stuff

Miller: So if he’s going to murder someone, it’ll be me

Me: Please?I know it’s a big ask, but I’m exhausted and I need to deal with this in the morning

Miller: Yeah, of courseYou need me to get anything set up?

Me: Your couch, I guessMadi and I can share the guest bedSeriously, thank you so muchI owe you a six pack

Miller: He better at least be cute

Clarke glances up to look at Bellamy without even realizing it. The street lights blinking by illuminate his profile in waves, the strong features and slight smile, the small, unexpected scar on his lip. His hair is drying off, curling more, and cute feels inadequate. Official title or no, he has the whole handsome prince thing down.

Me: You know I’d never bring an unattractive weirdo to youSee you soon

*

Clarke brings Madi up to their apartment to grab an overnight bag, leaving Bellamy waiting in the cab. He’ll still know which building is theirs, but he doesn’t know her last name, and she’s hoping the darkness and the general confusion of the city means he won’t be able to figure out exactly where they are, even if he tries. It’s not ideal, but it’s about the best she can do with the situation.

“Why are we staying with Uncle Nate?” Madi asks, as Clarke checks to make sure she’s got everything.

“Because I want to believe Bellamy is a nice guy who needs our help, but he might not be, and if he’s not, I don’t want him to be able to do anything bad to us.”

“But he can do something bad to Uncle Nate?”

“He could, but men are a lot more likely to hurt women than other men,” she says. “So Uncle Nate said we could stay with him. Don’t forget to bring stuff for school tomorrow.”

“I know. I don’t think he’s going to hurt us,” she adds.

“I don’t either, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful.”

“But you’re going to help him, right?”

“I’m going to try.”

They head back down to find Bellamy chatting with the cab driver, asking about his family and life, the driver showing off pictures of his kids with a wide smile on his face. Clarke’s never been good at being friendly with strangers, doesn’t know how to just start talking to people, and it’s weird to see a guy who doesn’t even know where he is fitting in better than she does. Not that she necessarily wants to start up random conversations with her cab drivers, but she definitely wouldn’t know where to start if she did.

“So, we’re going to my friend’s place to sleep,” she explains to Bellamy, once she’s given the driver the address. “He’s got a little more room, as long as you don’t mind couch-surfing.”

“I’ve never done it, but I don’t mind. I always like to try new things.” He pauses. “What is it?”

“Sleeping on a couch,” says Madi.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Depends on the couch,” says Clarke. “But Miller’s is nice.”

Bellamy glances over his shoulder, giving Clarke a warm smile. “I can’t thank you enough for all your help. You’re the first person who’s showed me any kindness.”

The gratitude is genuine, but it just makes Clarke’s stomach churn. She is showing him kindness, but under duress. And this isn’t normal for her. She doesn’t do much for people she finds on the street, and if Madi wasn’t here, she’d be dropping him off at a homeless shelter.

The more she talks to him, the more she doesn’t think that’s where he belongs, but still. If not for Madi, she wouldn’t have even stopped. She never would have known he needed help.

“You’re welcome,” says Clarke. “I’ll find you somewhere better in the morning.”

It takes only ten minutes to get to Miller’s building, and Clarke makes sure to give the driver a hefty tip on their way out. He was getting paid for the whole thing, but having to drive around bunch of people having a weird crisis probably sucks anyway. Nothing wrong with showing a little extra consideration.

Clarke met Nathan Miller when she was in college, although the two of them didn’t become friends right away. They moved in the same circles and liked each other well enough, but it wasn’t until they were both moving to New York after graduation and decided to room together that they really bonded, and now he’s one of her best friends and most dependable babysitters. When most people were telling her that she had no business taking on a foster child, he got it and supported her.

This is still above and beyond.

“Hey,” she calls, unlocking his door with her spare key and pushing her head inside. “We’re here.”

“Hey,” Miller calls back from somewhere in the kitchen. “I figured you guys were hungry so I went and grabbed some mac and cheese. It’s nothing special, but it’s almost done.”

“You’re the best! Madi, we’re going to share the guest room, will you go put our stuff in there?”

Madi takes off and Clarke turns her attention back to Bellamy. It’s her first time seeing him in full light, and she has the chance to study him as he’s distracted taking in Miller’s apartment. He’s got this awestruck expression that’s really selling the idea that all of this is new to him, like he didn’t even know places like this existed, and he could be going through some serious mental shit, but there’s a part of Clarke that wants to believe–

Believe what? That he fell into a wishing well and ended up in an alternate reality? That he really doesn’t have a clue where he is or how he got here?

He turns his attention to her and smiles, the full force of it hitting her like a wave. She can see all the details of him now, under Miller’s energy-saving light bulbs, the brown eyes and the freckles and the increased curl of his now-dry hair.

When he catches her eye, his mouth twitches up in a sheepish smile. “This place is unbelievable.”

“If you think this is impressive, you’re going to overload when you see the rest of the city.”

He goes over to the window, looking out at the array of lights. Miller does have an amazing view.

“It’s huge. I’ve never been around so many people. It was always just me and my sister.”

“What about the guy you’re marrying? The prince?”

“What about him?”

“How did the two of you meet?”

“He went through the kingdom looking for someone to marry. When he came to us, it was–magic.”

There’s a catch in his voice that Clarke finds a little troubling. They’re strangers, and he doesn’t owe her his life story, but in spite of all the outlandish things he’s said, this is the first time she’s thought he was being dishonest.

“He’s a good prince,” he adds, brightening. “And I met a fairy godmother who told me I was destined to marry royalty, so this is it. My one true love.”

“Sounds like you had everything you wanted.”

“I did.”

“Then what were you wishing for?”

“What?”

“You said you fell into a wishing well. You must have had a wish.”

“Dinner’s up!” Miller calls, and Bellamy jerks his attention away from the question immediately.

He clears his throat, awkward. “We should eat.”

“Yeah,” she says, and lets it go.

He and Miller get along easily, to Clarke’s surprise–she’s starting to think she’s the only one who doesn’t just immediately get along with him. Not that they don’t get along, exactly, but she feels like everyone else has a better idea of what to do with him than she does. Then again, he’s a little different with Miller too, falling into easy banter, talking shit even if Clarke’s pretty sure the word “shit” would freak him out. But with Madi around, everyone keeps their language G-rated anyway, so it’s just a nice, shockingly normal meal, all things considered.

Clarke gets Madi put to bed while Miller gets Bellamy some pajamas to borrow, and then it’s just the three adults awake, their most awkward configuration yet.

“So, Arcadia, right?” Miller finally asks.

“Yeah.” Bellamy rubs his face. “You’ve never heard of it, have you?”

“There are definitely places called Arcadia in the world,” says Clarke. “But none of them sound like the one you’re talking about.”

“No.” He sighs. “I have no idea how to get back. I don’t even know where I came out of there. I ended up on this–metal thing underground?”

Clarke boggles. “The subway? How did you get on the subway? You have to pay for it!”

“I don’t know! There were a lot of people and they were all pushing me and I just went with it.”

“And you ended up on a billboard with a castle on it.”

“Apparently.”

“So, what next?” Miller asks, the million-dollar question. “What’s the plan?”

Bellamy looks to Clarke, surprising her and warming her all at the same time. “Unless you have any better ideas, I’m waiting for Prince Roan to come rescue me.”

“Prince Roan?” asks Miller, looking Bellamy over again, the familiar hey-you’re-queer double-take.

“His fiance,” says Clarke.

“He’ll be looking for me,” Bellamy says. “And his mother was a sorceress, so he might actually have some background to draw on. But I’ll still need somewhere to stay until–whatever happens. So if you have suggestions–”

“We’ll figure it out in the morning,” Clarke says. “Miller, can you help me get the rest of the stuff for the couch?”

Miller already got basically everything, but he’s also smart enough to know what she’s really asking, and they step into his bedroom for a quick conference. “You believe him?” he asks.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“I think I might.”

“Me too. Am I a terrible parent?”

“No. Not sure social services would be great with this, but–he can stay with me, don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

He shrugs. “Chip in for food and I don’t mind giving him my guest room until I find a roommate. And I can pass his information along to my dad, see if there are any missing persons or anything. Maybe it’s just an acute psychotic break or something, I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” says Clarke, absent, and he shoots her a sharp look. “I don’t want it to be.”

“I get that. Who doesn’t want to think there’s some magic in the world? And a queer Disney prince, on top of that.”

Clarke smiles. “Pretty much. Thanks for backing me up in believing in the weird hot guy.”

“Any time.”

*

“So, tell me about your prince.”

It’s Friday and Clarke’s done with her meetings, so she took the afternoon off to show Bellamy the city. She called her mom and asked some vague, “hypothetical” questions about amnesia, and while she doesn’t think Abby bought that she was just curious, she didn’t figure out the real reason, so it’s fine. She can show Bellamy around the more famous parts of the city, hoping to jog his memory, maybe find out more about him. If he’s not legitimately a universe-hopping future prince, that story might be based in whatever the actual truth of his life is. Maybe he does have a significant other named Roan, maybe he’s nervous about getting married, hit his head on something and invented this whole new life for himself as a stress reaction.

Which is why they’re going to Central Park. If there’s a real-world equivalent to a wishing well in New York City, Clarke’s pretty sure it’s here. And it’s a nice day for a walk. Part of her wishes she’d taken Madi out of school to join them, but that’s definitely the kind of thing that social services would frown on.

“There’s not much to tell. He was looking for a spouse, he found me, our eyes met, he started to sing, I joined–”

“Wait, stop. Sing?”

“Yeah.”

“You sang a song and now you’re getting married?”

“How do you do it?”

“Get to know someone and decide if you’re compatible? Just a thought.”

“That’s fine for ordinary people,” he says, with a shrug. “That’s how my parents met. But with royalty, there’s usually destiny involved. You want to be sure.”

“And it works?”

He frowns. “What do you mean?”

“He sang a few bars, you harmonized, and that’s it? You’re meant to be together?”

“You make it sound easy. It’s work, relationships are always work. Does yours work? What happened to Madi’s father?”

“Her parents died in an accident,” says Clarke. “I took her in last year.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

“It’s okay. You’re right, none of my relationships have ended in happily ever after, but I don’t think it’s because we didn’t sing together.”

“So what did happen?”

“Let’s see, first serious relationship was Finn, in college. I found out he was still dating his high-school girlfriend when he was home for breaks, and we both dumped him.”

Bellamy winces. “Yeah, okay.”

“Then my other serious relationship was Lexa. We went out for a couple years, but it didn’t work out.”

“I need more information. You can’t just say you didn’t get along. What happened?”

“We wanted different things, I guess. And every time it came up I just thought, well, that’s not a big deal, we can compromise. And then I thought about all the things we were compromising on. Some of it really didn’t bother me, like food preferences, but some of it was big.”

“Like Madi?”

“That was the last straw, yeah. When we met, neither of us wanted kids, and then Lexa decided she did. And I didn’t. Fostering was the compromise I came up with–I didn’t want to be pregnant, I didn’t want to have a baby, but taking in an older kid who needed a family really appealed to me. Lexa wanted biological kids, and I still don’t. So we broke up and I started fostering.”

“Maybe if you’d sung a song about kids, you would have known sooner,” he says, but his smile is warm and his eyes are teasing. “I’m sorry,” he adds, just to drive it home.

“It’s been two years, I’m not still heartbroken.”

“But you’re not in love.”

“No. You’re not either,” she points out, shooting him a glare. “Don’t pretend you are.”

“I’m going to be.” When she doesn’t respond, he sighs. “I wanted it to be my sister. I figured she could marry the prince, I’d meet some relative of his and marry them, the prophesy would be fulfilled and O would be set.”

“O’s your sister?”

“Yeah.”

“How old is she?” She frowns. “How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-eight, my sister’s twenty. You?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“And Madi?”

“Eight.”

“And you’ve had her for two years?”

“One. There’s a pretty long wait between applying to be a foster parent and getting a kid.”

“Is it competitive?”

Her face twists into something she knows is technically a smile. “It shouldn’t be. There are lots of kids who need someone. But there are a lot of hoops to jump through.”

“Like what?”

They talk about the logistics of adopting and raising children in their worlds as they walk through the park, and while Bellamy sees nothing to jog his memory at any point, Clarke learns more about him and where he comes from, and he somehow leads an entire crowd of park-goers in a rousing song about non-traditional families that everyone but Clarke somehow knows, which makes her a lot more confident he’s on the up and up.

Not a bad day, all things considered.

*

Prince Roan shows up on Sunday morning.

They’ve moved Bellamy from Miller’s place to hers, which still feels risky, but there isn’t really a good way to deal with this whole thing, and Miller’s been busy with work, so Bellamy hasn’t spent a lot of time with him. He knows Clarke a lot better, and Madi likes him, and it’s really not Miller’s responsibility to put up this random guy.

And Clarke kind of likes having him around. He’s smart and interesting and good with Madi, and she does trust him, as stupid as it feels. Even if what he believes to be the truth somehow isn’t, he’s got a good heart and he isn’t going to hurt them.

Roan, she feels less sure about, given he shows up in her hallway bellowing, “Bellamy!”

Bellamy looks about as spooked as she feels. “Roan?”

Clarke’s hand hovers on the doorknob, but she doesn’t open it until Bellamy nods, and she barely has any time to look at the prince before he’s got a sword out and pointed at her throat.

Which is not really the best first impression.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding him,” says Roan, low and dangerous.

“I wasn’t hiding anyone, he’s sleeping on my couch,” Clarke protests. “Bellamy, can you–”

“She didn’t do anything wrong,” he tells Roan. “She helped me.”

Clarke and Roan stare at each other for a minute. Bellamy’s been wearing clothes he made out of bed sheets for the last couple days, definitely not trendy, but not as anachronistic as his original outfit. He doesn’t look like a normal guy, exactly, but this is New York. He can pass as a hipster.

On the other hand, Roan looks like a pirate who accidentally gained control of a country and is still trying to fuse his personal style with his royal title. He’s got long hair and an earring and an outfit that makes him look like Jack Sparrow’s richer nemesis. It’s a lot to take in, but the first thought that crosses her mind is actually that he looks all wrong for Bellamy.

Roan recovers first, moves his sword from her neck. “Then I thank you,” he says, sweeping into a fluid bow. “For caring for my fiance. You will be handsomely rewarded, once we’re home and wed.”

“You can come back?” she blurts out. Roan raises his eyebrows, and she clarifies, “To reward me. The portal doesn’t–close, or whatever?”

“We’re still determining how the portal opened,” says Roan. “But even if it closes, I’m sure we’ll be able to show our appreciation somehow.”

“You should at least stay for dinner,” Clarke says, too quick. “Madi’s not even here to say goodbye.”

Roan raises his eyebrows at Bellamy, and he clarifies, “Clarke’s daughter. I’d like to see her again before we leave.”

“Of course. It must have been very difficult, being stuck in this–barbaric city. I’m glad you had some allies.”

“It’s not all bad,” Bellamy says. “I’ve had a lot of fun, honestly. I’ve seen some good stuff too.”

“Perhaps you could show me.”

He glances back at Clarke, but the last thing she wants to do is third wheel on a date with Bellamy and his pirate prince. “Go ahead,” she says, with a smile. “I need to pick Madi up anyway. Be back at six-thirty and I’ll feed you.”

“Sure,” he says. “See you in a couple hours.”

Once they’re gone, Clarke flops onto her back on the couch, unintentionally getting a nose full of Bellamy’s scent from the sheets he left neatly folded. It feels stupid, to be already missing him, to be missing him at all. She had herself convinced that he was telling the truth, but that conviction hadn’t taken the next step to thinking his prince would ever show up to bring him home. She doesn’t know what she thought would happen, but she thought she’d have time to figure it out.

Me: Bellamy’s prince showed up

Miller: Seriously?HuhIs he hot?

Me: He looks like he’s cosplaying a fancy pirateBut he’s making it workMostly

Miller: So is he leaving?

Me: After dinnerHe’s showing Roan the town

Miller: Madi’s at karate?

Me: Yeah

Miller: You want me to come over?

Me: If you’re not busy

Miller: Yeah, I’ll see you in like half an hour

He gives her a hug as soon as he shows up, adds, “I knew this was going to happen.”

“What?” she asks his shoulder.

“You got a crush on the hot queer boy who thinks singing equals true love.”

“Oh, yeah. That happened.” She swallows hard. “I don’t think he really thinks that. I don’t think he’s in love. I think he got here because he comes from a–fucking magical kingdom, and he made a wish to get out of getting married, and the magic sent him to New York and–”

“And you want him to stay.”

“I do. It’s so stupid.”

“It’s not. You like him, you want to spend more time with him. It was pretty obvious.” He gives her a squeeze and then lets her go, smirking. “Why do you think I wasn’t flirting with him?”

“He’s engaged.”

“Not married. And it’s just flirting. If he was just engaged, I would definitely have been hitting on him.”

Clarke sighs, loud and long. “I keep thinking he’s only known Roan for like a day, he can’t marry him. But he’s only known me for a couple days too, and I want him to leave his whole life behind and stay with me? That’s a lot more of a commitment than getting married.”

“Have you asked him?”

“Of course not.”

“This is the very definition of nothing to lose. Apparently he’s going back to another dimension tonight, so if he says no, that’s it. And if he says yes–”

Her mouth twitches. “Yeah, what happens if he says yes? I’ve got a guy from another dimension living with me, maybe my boyfriend, with no social security, no birth certificate, and if he doesn’t like it here–”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, you’d figure it out. Look, he’s an adult, he knows what’s up. Just because he’s from kind of a weird place doesn’t mean he doesn’t get it. He can make up his own mind.”

“He can. Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“I want to see the prince, so yeah, I want to stay for dinner. I’ll even distract him so you can talk to Bellamy.”

“You’re the best,” she says, and he smiles.

“Go get him.”

*

Dinner is awkward. Madi has a billion questions for Roan, and Miller has fewer, but all of his are very pointedly about how long Roan has known Bellamy and why they’re getting married, and Roan definitely notices what’s going on. It culminates in Roan starting to sing their song–I’ve been searching my whole life for a partner to stand by my side, catchy, but nothing to write home about–and Bellamy, distractedly listening to Madi explain the book she’s reading, misses his cue.

“And after so long, I’ve finally found,” Roan sings again, pointedly, and Bellamy blinks.

“What?”

“Did you lose your voice?”

“No, sorry, I was just–” He clears his throat. “People don’t really do that here.”

“I had no idea. Maybe they should.”

“I got them going the other day, but apparently it was a first. At least Clarke has a very nice voice,” he says, apparently without thinking, and Roan shoots her a glare that suggests he wishes he’d stabbed her when he had the chance.

Madi lights up, though. “Clarke sang?”

That revelation carries them through the rest of the meal, but Roan’s expression gets darker and darker, and as soon as they’re done, he says, “Time to go?”

Bellamy hesitates. “We should help with the dishes.”

“I’ll show the prince how those work,” says Miller, clapping Roan on the shoulder. “Come on, kiddo, you can dry.”

Roan doesn’t protest, but the silence when they’ve all gone to the kitchen feels huge and heavy, a physical presence in the room. Something that could crush her.

“I’m going to miss you,” she finally offers.

“I know I was a headache,” he says, with a smile. “I appreciate all your help.”

“You figured it out pretty quickly. You’re pretty good at New York, honestly. You even yelled at someone on the subway.”

“His legs were spread so wide he was taking up three seats,” he grumbles. “It was inconsiderate.”

“It was.” She wets her lips. “You still never told me what you were wishing for. When you got here.”

“To fall in love,” he admits. “To be happy.”

“Did it work?”

“Not how I planned.” He pauses, eyes flicking over her. “It was supposed to be with Roan.”

“I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him either.” But that’s not enough; she makes herself go on. “You don’t have to leave, you know.”

“I don’t?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

He worries his lip. “I have to go back,” he says. “Talk to my sister. Make sure everything’s good, put everything in order. But–I could come back?”

Clarke’s smile feels like it might split her face. “That would be nice.”

He doesn’t kiss her goodbye, but it’s only been a couple days; she can live with that.

Besides, he kisses her hello, and that’s even better.

*

Three weeks later, he’s her plus one for a party, and Murphy asks, “So, what did you do to win the princess of New York City?”

“The what?”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “It’s just a stupid nickname. Don’t be a dick, Murphy.”

“If I can’t be a dick, I won’t have anything to do. That’s my whole thing. Seriously, how did you guys meet? I feel like you came out of nowhere.”

“Internet,” says Clarke, following their script, but Bellamy is weirdly quiet, lost in his thoughts, apparently not even listening as Murphy teases her.

“You okay?” she asks, tugging him aside once Murphy has gone off to bother someone else.

“Princess of New York City, huh?”

“Yeah, because of my parents. We don’t have a royal family anymore, but we’re rich and Murphy and I grew up together, so–” She shrugs. “Just him being a dick. Does it bother you?”

He leans down and kisses her. “No, it’s awesome. My fairy godmother told me I was going to marry into royalty, remember?”

She laughs. “Are we getting married now?”

“Not now. But someday, right?”

She squeezes his hand, leans against his shoulder. It’s definitely been weird, tough logistically, and nothing like what she expected. But it’s good, too. So much better than she could have imagined.

“Yeah,” she agrees. “We’ll get there.”

[rpbetter]

Hmm.. I don't why I even bother with my mutuals. I'm the only one who engages with them. Yet, when I send a simple cool starter meme to a mutual they don't reply to mine, but other people. This has been happening for several months, it's a small rpc, but the fandom is large. Whenever I reblog a meme I don't ever expect anyone to send me anything that's their choice, but its quite dishearting when my mutuals doesn't send any. Only one or two do sometimes five, while I'm nice enough to send it in their askbox. Sometimes I wonder if its because I don't post my fanart on my blog or I write a popular character; some rpers have a negative stigma against.. which is unfair and wrong.. Its so depressing. I don't know why I'm sad I'm in my 30s I should not be feeling this way. Or perhaps I'm being taken advantage of due to how genuine and considerate I am.. its like they sit back and do nothing while I do the work. God I hope not. I'm very chill and respect my mutuals. It just seems as though I'm being lead on and I'm afraid to express how I feel.

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this, Anon, I don't know if anything I have to say will help, but maybe it'll at least be helpful that you've gotten to express it somewhere! I'm definitely going to try, though.

Unfortunately, all of this is way too common. You're not at all alone in feeling this way, any of it! I think we've all had the experience of what amounts to being in one-sided RP, if we haven't, it's because we haven't yet. You'd think that being in a smaller area of the RPC that it would make this less likely to happen, but I think it can be worse sometimes in this situation because people in smaller circles have a tendency to become insular in a way that can be really bad.

It isn't usually intentional, you just become very comfortable with this smaller number of people and your relationships with them, everyone ends up with a sort of role within it. We establish in our minds that muns a, b, and c are our go-to writing partners, b and c are those we always send to or answer memes from, a we always interact with extra OOC, and so on. When you're muse d, your efforts go nowhere, you're not the mutual for any of it in their minds.

There probably is something making this easier, though, and you might very well be right about you being genuine and considerate being a factor. As much as that is the way to be, it can act against you as well if you're being viewed not as just a nice, considerate mun, but as someone who just exists to quietly support others. People could be viewing you as so relaxed and without demand that it doesn't matter to you much, or that even if it does, you're not a priority compared to the mutuals they might be concerned about dropping them if they don't give enough attention to them.

To that end, there is honestly not much you can do. Anything you say on the dash is likely to come across as suddenly too demanding or guilting, and coming to them individually to ask if there is something you could be doing for more interactions might not be seen as a genuinely no-pressure question. I'd recommend, if there are any changes you end up enacting in order to help combat all of this, that you post a very pleasant message saying, essentially, "I've made some updates and I'm looking to do some new threads, if anyone is interested, here is my meme tag! If you'd like me to send you a meme, comment what your meme tag is so I can."

That way, you're making them aware that you have changed some things (you can even post about those specific changes so they can all see if those are things that they felt were holding them back from interacting), directly stating you want/are seeking new interactions with them, and giving them two options to start that up quickly. Nothing guilt-trippy about it, just informative and direct, but polite still.

Now, about those possible changes, because there might be some other factors compounding this situation.

Do your current mutuals seem to be just meme based? I mean, do they primarily interact only through memes, or do they prefer to do some plotting first? It could be that they don't feel like responding to the starter meme coming from you is going to turn into a lasting thread if they require some plotting. It's possible that they started out just doing memes, but as time has gone, they've changed...and not mentioned it.

For example, I do require plotting or established interactions between mun and muse alike before I'll do a starter-style meme with someone. That's because I want it to be a longer-lasting thread, and I don't have to do plotting with these muns to make that happen. I also put that in the tags on the incredibly rare occasion I reblog one because that's the polite thing to do, but they may feel afraid that they'll be accused of favoritism or elitism if they do that. I'm not saying that's right, it's not, it's unfair and kind of mean to ignore people for their failure to do something you require that you're not telling them about, but it could be part of what is happening.

If they have open starters, do starter calls, that they're also not responding to (or have things in their rules about plotting) that could be a big part of this issue. They'd rather you react to the open starters, or contact them about writing a starter, and/or contact them for plotting.

There is also the possibility that the memes you're sending do not seem, to them, like situations that are either going to work out or that are appealing from your muse. Obviously, you thought so, or you wouldn't have sent it! It's always hard to tell what someone else thinks, however.

The memes you're sending could be too vague, or conversely, too specific for a situation they don't see with your muse/don't want with your muse. If they're very simple sentence starters, that could be hard to respond to with a muse they don't have established interactions with. If they're too specific, they could feel it's implying a relationship with your muse that theirs doesn't have.

It's a difficult balance and a lot of guessing, but try to send something in the middle of the two. Something that doesn't imply the muses know each other, but also gives something interesting to go off of easily.

Could also be the number of memes you're sending. Everyone wants to get memes, we're all upset when we post a meme and get absolutely nothing! But one person sending us many memes can feel overwhelming or even demanding. I know you're not trying to come off that way, and I cannot say that it is being perceived as such, but this is a possibility and I am trying to cover as many of them as I can in case one works out so you can enjoy yourself in RP again!

If you think this may be the case, try holding off on sending them. Give yourself a set number...something very small at first like one to each mutual a month only when it comes to starter-style memes specifically. That's going to be lame, and I'm sorry! You clearly don't have the interactions you want and it's upsetting enough to you as it is, but if running this experiment means figuring out something that allows you to have them, it'll be worth it, right?

As for the memes you do receive from others, what kind are you getting? Are they sentence/starters, or ones you can answer OOC? Variety of both? Are they the most basic, non-committal sentence on the meme, or interesting, engaging ones? This could be an important clue as to what your mutuals want/where they hold the possibility of your interaction and why. It could also be adding to their perceptions.

I feel like I should say again, as I've no desire to add to how bad you're feeling, that I mean none of this in either an assured way or a judgmental one. I'm just covering all bases of possibility, and even if any of these things are the case, you're not being a bad RP partner, you just might be the wrong one for some of your current mutuals.

If you are primarily getting OOC or non-committal sort of sentence starters, they could be trying to send you memes to be nice, but not have an interest in writing with you. They could be trying to see more of your muse before making that commitment, too. It could be that they're seeking some more development on the muse from you, or more development of a verse they think their muse would work out best with yours in.

So, if you're getting questions that are giving you an opportunity to talk about your muse, develop them, show everyone how you write them, be sure you're taking that opportunity. Try not to reply to those with really short, obvious answers/responses. If it seems there is no way to answer without being obvious, think on ways you can give new information involved with the obvious answer.

If you are getting sentence/starter memes, make your reply as personally interesting to that mun as possible. Go through their wishlist tag if they have one and write your response based on one of them. If they haven't any plots they've expressed a desire to do, you can still get a good idea of what they find particularly appealing by both the threads they already have and the sort of things they reblog. It could just be that, in the past, what you've given in return wasn't something they felt drawn to enough.

Since you said in the second message you sent that this was a relatively recent thing, they used to interact with you, I'm really wondering if they've lost interest in your muse for another fandom favorite, or there is a similar issue going on. Because that certainly implies that something changed for them that did not change for you.

Has there been a significant change in fandom? An old favorite character returned, there is a new one the whole fandom is about, or yours did something in canon that the fandom didn't like? It's always the risk of playing a canon...even one that is canonically dead can end up having something in their story added to that drastically changes the fandom's opinion, so it's a possibility.

In any event, on the other points, big fandom favorite-of-the-moment canons always, I mean that, knock everyone else out. jusAnd it doesn't even have to be in your fandom, either! It can be in a popular enough fandom that your mutuals accept crossovers from, and can feel really shocking when you have a situation like...they all left that major fandom due to burnout with it or drama, but were still attached to it enough to accept crossovers, and suddenly, new media, especially with an old favorite, appears - you are categorically ignored for another fandom's MC lol Neat feeling!

So, it could have nothing at all to do with you. You're just not the hyperfixation right now.

There are some changes that could have happen that might be more involved with you. I don't want to say "have to do with you," because that implies fault and it's not a fault situation when people change and want different things than what they one enjoyed with you. It's possible that some of your mutuals have grown into lengthier writing, different plot genres (they were about hurt/comfort, now they're about fluff), are more/less into shipping than they were, things like that.

I feel I should clarify again that this isn't judgment! It's unfortunately stigmatized to call this "growing into/progressing/etc." when that's just the best way to put it. It implies that you lack growth, you're stuck somewhere, you need to progress. That's not what I'm implying, or that there's anything wrong with continuing to enjoy a hobby the same way you always have...just as there's nothing wrong with expanding on it.

This could be part of the situation. Especially if your mutuals are at one of those awful age ranges where people experience rapid changes in how they enjoy things. What is a great time when you're RPing in your late teens is really different from what you enjoy in your early twenties is really different from what you enjoy in your mid to late twenties is different from what you enjoy in your early thirties is...you get the point. (Though, I will say, for all y'all ageist folks out there: you need to both stop shitting on teens/early twenties people for writing at a lower level than you in your late twenties and stop acting like anyone over thirty is a pedo, unapproachable, and into their forties and beyond are just incomprehensible as writers. Writing is a skill, you improve by doing it, and there is no magical age at which one turns into a pedo and has to give up their interests.) It's really possible that many of them have moved into different aspects of RP than you have.

If that seems to be the case, you have a couple of options. Pay attention to what they are writing, see if that's something you would enjoy working on doing as well. If so, start working on it by increasing your writing skills with any threads you do have or memes you do get, practice is the best way. If you have literally nothing to practice with, you'll have to practice on your own by taking a meme line you would have loved to get, using it as a writing prompt, and writing out what comes to you, just as you would in a meme someone sent you.

Okay, so what if you aren't interested in doing what they are? That's fine! Instead, you may want to look into attracting new mutuals that are more into what you are.

Honestly? If you feel like you are questioning why you even bother with these people already...that's my honest opinion of what you should consider doing regardless. Find new mutuals.

We all know there's a bit of a promo issue, they don't bring in new partners the way they once did, but it's still a good idea to have one floating around. Promo yourself on any relevant lists of active RPers out there you can find. If it's something you'll be alright with, be sure you're crossover and OC friendly to attract the maximum amount of muns and advertise in the maximum number of lists (though, if you say you have a verse in a fandom, do actually make that verse). Verses are a great way to give your potential mutuals the possibility to interact with your muse, consider adding ones from any major fandoms you enjoy and the usual favorites like a "modern" verse.

Other things you can do/should check if you're going to try attracting new mutuals would be having some writing on your blog for them to see and being certain your rules, muse bio, etc. are all up to date and finished out.

With the writing, I realize the situation you have going on is not great for showing potential mutuals your writing! Whatever current things you have, be as active with them as possible, and consider doing some headcanons or one shots. That way there is something that shows you're active, a bit about what interacting with you and your muse is like, and what you're capable of writing.

And with the other things, they're all really important information for mutuals to have, especially new ones who haven't been there with you this whole time. Your old mutuals may know, for example, what putting in your rules "just don't be a dick" means to you, specifically, but new mutuals do not. So, give your rules a once-over to be sure they're clear on what you do/do not want, how you approach RP, etc. Make sure all the common things are covered, but things unique to yourself as well.

If you haven't finished your muse bio, or you feel there are new things for you to add to it now, it's the best time to do so! Since you have a canon, I have to say it - don't just link to a wiki. Take this time you've been unfortunately gifted by inactivity to write up your own take on this muse - your portrayal is different than anyone else's, show your new mutuals how.

If you haven't a page for verses yet, or that page/post is really brief and has things like, "this is a modern verse, it takes place in our world" now is also the time to either make it or improve this. Really tell them what is different about your muse in each verse, what's interesting about this verse, where they fit into the canon of whatever fandom. Treat these verses as foundations for what you'll build with your mutuals, not hard stories that have to be followed, and be sure you're clear about that on the page/post! It'll help more people engage with your muse when they don't feel like you have an immutable story already without them.

Consider adding a navigation page/post if you do not already have one. A pinned post can work for this! That way you can link by your tags as well, so new people checking out your blog can quickly see your memes, headcanons, aesthetic posts, everything. And if you haven't been tagging those things? Start doing it for this purpose! Give people a way to quickly and passively check out as much as possible on your muse before they choose to interact, it'll help them make that choice.

As a last thing...I have to ask, have you asked any of your present mutuals why you're not interacting anymore?

I understand if you haven't, especially if you hadn't developed a good rapport with them yet. They could take that as guilting or pressuring and get annoyed with you, so I get the anxiety and reluctance. People also have an unintentionally horrible way of lying, too. Their intentions are good, they just don't want to make anyone feel bad or start an argument, but the outcome isn't nice. Yeah, people do totally ask these things expressly to be lied to and validated, or even to start an argument, but we shouldn't be treating everyone like that's what they're doing. We should assume that when people ask for help understanding a problem that they want the help. Community problem we all need to work on!

But anyway, if you feel like any of them are going to be honest and polite with you, and you haven't done so already, try asking them what is going on. No one knows better than they do why they're not engaging with you anymore, after all. Even if this isn't a situation that is going to improve with these mutuals, it's good to know for the future.

To avoid sounding like you're pressuring/shaming/guilting them, choose your words and phrasing carefully. Instead of, "I noticed you don't respond to the memes I send you, but do respond to memes from other mutuals," try, "I noticed we don't interact much anymore, it's fine if you're just in a different place now, but if there is something I can be doing differently, it would help me a lot to know, if you're alright with discussing that with me."

I'm not trying to imply you don't know how to converse with people, Anon lol I just know that it can be a difficult situation, it can lead to us unintentionally saying something that come off wrong to the other party. I'd really love for you to get an answer, even if it isn't one you like, so you'd at least know what went on and could move on from it.

Because this, reasonably, is pretty upsetting.

You are never too old to feel disappointed, hurt, or confused, Anon! It's okay to be depressed at any age when you've invested your time and energy in a hobby only to have it passed over for nebulous reasons. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, but that's the thing...hobbies aren't your job, the time and energy you invest in them is just for you. It's a passionate pursuit, if you want it to be. So having this kind of situation is hurtful, and you don't even know why it's happening.

Tumblr has this extremely gross problem with throwing around shit to shame muns over twenty-five for having a hobby still, don't internalize it! I'm not remotely sorry that I have interests outside of my work, cleaning my house, paying my bills, or having offspring (which, I do not, but that's the expectation, at midnight on your twenty-sixth birthday, if you don't drop dead, you have three children and a spouse and they're your sole interests, this is the only way to be an adult)...and I'm not remotely sorry for being as passionate about those interests as I was ten and twenty years ago, either. Including the emotions that come with it. I'm sure that if being a PTA parent was my primary hobby and someone snubbed me repeatedly in it without telling me why, I'd be upset about that, too. It's okay to have a hobby, it's okay to have feelings, including negative ones like being depressed. No matter what the RPC has to say about it.

I just hope that something in here helps! It might take a little bit to find new mutuals, talk to your current mutuals, try out new things with your writing, whatever it is you end up trying, but try to stay patient and looking forward to better things to come. I believe this can work out, and you deserve for it to!

Oh, on a side note? If it is your muse being one the fandom has stigmatized? Same, and fuck them. Is that hostile? Yes, and I'm not sorry lol Don't feel like you need to change muses because of that. You need to find the right mutuals, not cater to negative, irrational, and almost certainly purity culture-based attitudes of the wrong ones. When you take up a muse your fandom, or even corner of your fandom's RPC, has taken issue with, your only responsibility is to accept that you likely will have fewer interactions as a part of that choice. Fewer does not mean none, nor does it mean the interactions you don't want/are not fulfilling or otherwise enjoyable for you. Again, you just need to find the right group of muns!

There are muns out there who will appreciate your muse, and exactly as you are writing them too. There are muns who will appreciate your writing style, activity level, and preferred genres. If it takes you a bit to find them, just look at it as an exercise to spend more time developing your muse and writing for when you find them. It'll all be worth it if you hang in there.

[tiny-little-bird]

Do you still think Jonsa wil happen?😂😂😂U really think he would ever love, boring, plain, weak Sansa? Who all she ever did was whine, & cry, & fuck her family & herself over, over & over again? Did u see how passionate Jon & Dany were in bed? Jon's passionate, his partner has to be passionate, Sansa could never be as sensual & passionate as Dany, not after being raped, she'd be utterly rigid and boring in bed, she would not give Jon any pleasure. Jonsa has no future, Jonerys is endgame.

“Sansa could never be as sensual & passionate as Dany, not after being raped, she’d be utterly rigid and boring in bed, she would not give Jon any pleasure” 

I always try to be nice, but, fuck you, FUCK YOU lady/dude whatever the hell you are 🖕🖕🖕

I just can’t believe you actually wrote that, and sent it in. This is one of the most fuc*ed up sh*t I’ve ever read. Some of you J*nerys fans are disgusting wtf. I’m beyond speechless.

Being raped does wound you, hurt you, in so many ways, but women are strong, they heal with time. I do suppose it will always be difficult for Sansa to trust men, considering what Ramsay did to her, she’ll always be weary of them, and I suppose she’s never going to allow just any man in her bed, again, but if she fully and truly trusted the man, if he respected her, treated her with kindness, gentleness, if he gave her time, made her feel appreciated and loved, wich would further help her heal, and restore some of her faith in men, which Jon literally has done, she would eventually find it in herself to share her bed with that someone. 

She fully trusts Jon already, the physical contact that she initiated multiple times with him, is proof of that, she loves him, he makes her feel safe, and loved, and cared for, she can talk freely with him, because she knows he’d never punish her, nor hurt her in any way. They have a parter like relashionship already, and the amount of trust and love she already has for Jon, is a strong, cemented foundation, that will be key in season 8, when Jonsa will happen.

Plus, Sansa is already fierce and passionate as it is, she does things with passion and fierceness. You don’t know what kind of a lover she would be, what kind of a lover she WILL be, when she finds it in herself, when she allows herself, to fully and truly love someone, and let go of herself with him.

She never had a proper lover, someone to respect her, love her, and treat her with kindness and honor. The only man who shared her bad, was a psychopath that enjoyed beating her, raping her and playing sick, twisted games with her body, every night. You belittling her, belittling her sensuality, degrading her like this, because she was raped, trying to measure who would be more passionate/sensual between her and D@ny, is fucked up, I’d be seriously concerned if I were you, anon.

And btw, D@ny was raped too, remember? And she healed, as you say, she is sensual and passionate. Being raped does not equal, you will never make love with anyone, ever again, in your entire life, you will not get back control over your body ever again, you will never be able to allow/trust anyone to ever love you again, you will never again allow yourself to enjoy making love, that you’ll never feel pleasure ever again, that you’ll never allow to let anyone cherish you, cherish your body, love you as a whole ever again. There is nothing wrong though, in a woman deciding to never let a man touch her again, everyone’s different, some heal quickly, some slowly, and, unfortunately, some never heal.

If she were to allow anyone in her bed, if she were to wed again, Jon will be the one. I am among the people who believe that, she herself will propose the match. She’ll secure her place at Winterfell, she’d never have to leave Winterfell, her home, ever again, she’d have a man by her side, that she 1000% knows will NEVER harm her in any way, she’d have children, which both Sansa and Jon always dreamed of having. As Sophie said in an interview, Winterfell is Sansa’s haven, and if Jon is the key to her staying there, if he’s they Key to bringing stability to the North, she’ll marry him.

People heal, and Sansa, with Jon’s help has done a lot of healing, she is stronger, and more confident, and with him, we’ve seen her come into herself, we’ve seen her happy, genuinely happy, he gave her his love, he gave her strengtht and confidence, and she returned that love, and gave him purpose and acceptance in return. 

Now, onto your -so not- epic boatsex, it was so quick, rushed and had no buildup whatsoever, just passion, as you called it, but passion, lust, do not equal love, especially considering poor Jon hasn’t fuc*ed anyone, in years. He iofc he’s gonna bang her, while he’s at it. I expected for their boatbang scene to bother me, but I was surprised by the fact that it didn’t, at all. It was so, so rushed, Missandei and Greyworm has a better love scene than theirs, it was built up slowly and it lasted more than 20 seconds lol 

“Love didn’t just happen to us, we built it slowly over the years, stone by stone…It’s not as exciting as secret passion in the woods, but it is stronger, it lasts longer.” – Catelyn Stark 2x10 

“And Catelyn just gazes at him with love built on a rock-solid foundation. Years and years of brick by brick and stone by stone. She cares for Ned, loves him in a profound and nuanced way that’s a far cry from the romantic passion she had as a girl for Brandon.” Catelyn Stark AGOT 

These two quotes, fit perfectly Jon and Sansa. Which goes back to show you, passion/lust/desire does not equal love, true love.

I’m not sure what Jon is brewing, but it involves the Northerners turning against him, and making Sansa Queen In The North, why, I’m not sure, but he wouldn’t be so stupid as to declare he’s bent the knee for all to hear, he wouldn’t send a raven to Sansa telling her about it, he’d wait until the great war was won. He’s cooking something, there is a reason why he wants Sansa Queen. One thing is for sure, seducing D@ny is part of his plan, which is going very smoothly, she’s fallen for him, deeply. 

What I think he perhaps has in mind is, sacrificing his position as King, since he doesn’t care much about being King, he never wanted it, his plan is to seduce D@ny, make her fall madly in love with him, so that he has power and influence over her, so that when they get back to Winterfell together, he can use that power and influence to convince to not burn the Northerners alive, to not kill them, to not burn Sansa alive, cause listen, Sansa, she would never bend the knee to a southerner, not after all she’s been through, he will use her love for him, and ask her to allow the North to stay independent, to let Sansa be Queen in the North. 

Part of me even thinks that, in his mind he is also taking into consideration the possibily of having to sacrifice his happiness, by striking a deal for the North’s independence, “I’ll marry you, I’ll come south with you, if, you allow my people to have their own ruler, their own Queen”, of course, once word get’s out he’s a Targaryen, it will change everything, it will change his plans, it will change his relationship with D@ny. Those who think it won’t change a thing between them, are fools. We’re talking about D@ny here, a woman who didn’t give two craps about an army of deadmen coming to kill them all, being all too consumed and obsessed with power and the Iron Throne, that only changed her mind when the Night King killed one of her dragons. When she finds out, the IT is not RIGHTFULLY hers, she’s not the rightful heir, she’s gonna FLIP. Again, if you think she won’t, you’re a fool, and you don’t understand her character.

Going back to Sansa, she is not plain, boring nor weak. She is one of the strongest women in this show, her wits, her personality, her intelligence, her inner strength are the things that kept her alive, though all the horror and madness, that has been her life, since Ned was executed.

I think I would’ve gone mad in her place to be very honest with you, there’s only so much I could take, I always say I’d be dead in a minute, if I lived in Westeros. She’s been through so much, and yet, she didn’t let all these horrors, make her power hungry, or entitled, or evil/mad, nor did she let them harden her, all they’ve done was wake her to reality, show her what the world is really like, and make her stronger, sharper, but she’s remained gentle, caring and kind at heart. She’s grown into a strong, intelligent and beautiful woman, who is anything but boring, plain or weak.

If you can’t see, if you refuse to see how they’re building up Jon and Sansa for romance, for love, that’s your problem, and I don’t quite care, but to go and say, Sansa is not good enough for Jon, because she was raped, that’s literally what you said “she would not give Jon any pleasure”, you talk as if us women are some pleasure tools/machines ffs it’s disgusting, it makes me sick, to think someone would think in such a way. Women who are raped deserve, and are worthy of love, just like every other woman, even more so, being loved, cherished, respected, being understood, is part of the healing process. Ugh, I feel like I’m waisting my breath with you.

Be gone and never return in my askbox ever again, please and thank you.