#generally totally fair but don't you dare point your fingers especially at of for this

[the-iron-queen]

I ranted so much in the tags that I hit the max limit (30 wtf) and couldn't tag the shows on my reblog anymore :(

Anyway, thank you for your service I am absolutely with you.

actually in general i think i'm just gonna become a villain if i see anyone complaining about girl rules or only friends: dream on. if you don't like the toxic gays, don't watch, LET US HAVE THIS

[covetyou]

fools just wanna have fun

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pairing: Dieter Bravo x fat contortionist f!reader rating: Mature (18+ only!) warnings: no smut, Dieter's cock and balls, arguing as foreplay, references to past and hoped for sexual encounters (fingering, squirting, oral), clown!Dieter is a menace (but not explicitly clowny at all in this, for those with coulrophobia), drug use, reader is referred to as Sparkles and has a briefly mentioned latex allergy. word count: 1k summary: A quiet night is all he wanted. It's what he deserved after sweating his balls off out there in the ring all night. But, you have different plans - plans, he's certain, involve riding him until the sun comes up.

A/N: this is a follow on to for one night only (Frankie x Reader), but can be read totally independently of that fic. if you'd like more of this pairing, check out jester little bit more.

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when the workin' day is done, oh fools, they wanna have fun, oh fools just wanna have fun...

Bravo the Clown's balls were sweating. They had been all fucking day. It's simply what you get when you're in the asshole of Florida dressed head to toe in colored polyester.

But he was free now. Free for the night, free from another fucking show and, most importantly, his balls were free.

He'd just pulled them out actually, yanking his waistband below them, letting them bunch up under his flaccid cock as he rolled another joint. The one he had just before the last show didn't quite hit the spot, but this one was sure to do the job. Especially now that his balls were finally cooling down.

Not that the peace and quiet lasts too long. It never does.

Before he can so much as find a lighter to light the joint resting between his lips, you slam your way into his trailer with a bang.

"What the fuck?!" He shouts, flinging the nearest thing to him - which just so happened to be his fucking lighter - at you as you stand there panting.

"Don't you dare light that," you say, pointing to him as you catch your breath. "Condoms. I need condoms."

This isn't the first time you've stormed in here, demanding sex of him wearing nothing much at all. It is the first time you seem to have ran here though. You're never usually this desperate for it, but he supposes there has been a lot of tension between the two of you lately. Not exactly sexual tension, more extreme general frustration directed at him rather than anything particularly mutual. Still, it was there, he'd sensed it, and now here you were, demanding a fuck from your favourite clown, already looking positively fucked out -

Wait.

"What the fuck," he says again, pointing right back at you. "I am not giving you my condoms. What about me?! I know that look, you're not leaving me high and dry, Sparkles."

You're practically snarling at him now, and fuck does he love you like this. Feisty. Definitely wet too, even if it's not because of him. Don't ask him how he knows, but there's something about the way your sweat smells that changes when you're get horny that never fails to make him hard.

"What about you? You are not cock blocking me again, Bravo."

Dieter scoffs. You always brought this up. It wasn't exactly his fault you were fucking a civilian out in the open like that. He was well within his rights to walk over and take one of the blankets you had under your head that day. They didn't belong to you, they didn't belong to anyone. They were communal. "That was one time, and he was a nerd anyway."

"A nerd with a massive dick and button mashing fingers. He was about to make me squirt and you came stumbling over. And you're forgetting the girl with the nipple piercings!"

With each angry flap of your arms, he can see your panties as your t-shirt rides up on your thighs. They look wet and fuck if he isn't jealous of whichever asshole is getting a turn between your legs tonight. It should be him, with his condoms. It's not fair.

"That doesn't count," he answers, crossing his arms over his bare chest with a pout.

"It does!"

"If there was no cock involved, I didn't cock block shit."

His dick is at full mast now, and he's surprised you haven't noticed. If you have, you haven't said anything, and usually you were very good about shouting at him when he had his dick out.

Instead, you just sigh. You give in. To him.

"I don't have time for this shit. The condoms, Dieter. Please."

And, quite frankly, it's no fun fighting with you if you're not going to fight back. That doesn't mean he's going to put his dick away, of course. There's no point. He's only going to play with it when you leave.

What he does do is point you to his condom stash kept in a tin under his trailer bench. He didn't exactly use them often. He didn't like them. But he did use them with you, or if he was taking a little knock at someone's backdoor, or even if someone looked a little less sanitary than he'd like. He did have standards.

He also could've got them out for you. But if he did that he wouldn't have been treated with the view of your ass he's currently getting. You always wear the tiniest little thongs for shows. They're the only things that won't show up around the edges of your glitzy costumes. It gets him going just thinking about them wedged up your ass as he watches you perform some nights - an activity that has made him late to his own performances more than once.

Right now, that tiny little thong is nestled right between your ass cheeks, your t-shirt hiding none of your modesty now that you're bending over in front of him. The gusset of your panties peeks out from between your plush thighs too, and it is absolutely fucking drenched. If he knew you'd be amenable to it, he'd be on his knees eating you from the back already, but he knew you. Only the lucky asshole waiting for you would be getting that privilege tonight.

"Gold packet," Bravo grumbles as you rifle through the tin, picking out a small handful of condoms like you plan on having a very eventful night.

"I know what ones are latex free, Bravo."

Because that is why you came here, to him, and not to anyone else. He's probably the only person in this whole place that carried the condoms you could use - the latex free ones that didn't smell like balloons.

You finally stand just as Dieter idly wraps a hand around his balls, giving them a gentle little squeeze, and with nothing more than a middle finger and the poke of your tongue, you go to leave his trailer.

"Oh, and Dieter?" you say, stopping in your tracks halfway out the door. "Max was looking for you."

"Shit."

His wank would have to wait.

tagging previous lovers of clown!Dieter: @beefrobeefcal @sp00kymulderr @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @clawdee @chronically-ghosted @dieterbravobrainrotclub @for-a-longlongtime

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: How's it going, mate? Jimmy: Lost the will yet or nah Janis: Honestly Janis: Ain't even got that much shit but everyone's being dead dramatic about it Janis: Obviously I don't want my finger paintings, Ma, fucking hell Janis: how 'bout you? Jimmy: Cute 💕 Jimmy: Reckon I've got less but spending half my time separating my shit from Cass and Bob's Jimmy: How the fuck have they taken over my room? Jimmy: Theirs are bigger like Janis: Such a soft touch, lad Janis: Lucky we're sharing or best believe I'd be bagsying the shit out of the bigger room too 😉 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: You can lay claim to all the drawers, mate Jimmy: Leave me somewhere to hang my hat though Janis: You forgotten which twin you moving in with? Janis: I'll tell Grace to grab her coat, like Janis: Get in, babe Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: I've seen how many pairs of kicks you have, I've made that mental note Jimmy: I've got nowt that needs to be worried about, proper floordrobe in my box room Janis: Awwh, when bae notices things Janis: such a #keeper Janis: Better be sorting that, I'll ask for hangers for a housewarming gift...now that's peak #adulting Jimmy: #goals every day of my life 💕 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Can't we ask for another dog, that'd be peak adulting for you Jimmy: Uping your training game Janis: Trying to break Twix's poor little doggy heart 💔 Janis: You monster, you Jimmy: She's capable of breaking her own Jimmy: Either pining for us or Cass wherever she decides she's gonna sleep Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Drama 👑 Janis: Takes after you, I reckon Jimmy: I blame her training. Or should I say lack of Janis: 😨 Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: and you want a puppy? When we've already fucked up our first child? Janis: shocking Jimmy: Only thinking of you, needing that 2nd chance Jimmy: Prove you've still got it, training wise Janis: If I can get you to do your own laundry, we'll call it a victory for me, yeah? 😜 Jimmy: That victory's already mine, proper domesticated me Jimmy: There's something to be said for raising yourself Janis: You'll have to teach me then Janis: Spoilt brat, like Jimmy: Alright 👑 Jimmy: See where Twix gets it from now Janis: Soz we know our worth, babe 💅 Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: Not looking to be the dickhead that chains you to the sink or owt Janis: Kinky Janis: and good luck, Twix ain't got the dexterity, broken plates all over the shop Janis: and I'd be aiming for your head, like 🏆 Jimmy: Tell it to Mr Lucas before he loses interest now you're 👵 Jimmy: 💪 Bring it on Janis: Being dying to chain me up since day 1 Janis: what do you think the detentions were all about, pervert Jimmy: I wasn't reckoning on him trying to get to me via you for the perfect latte recipe Jimmy: But who can say Jimmy: Got the breath of a bean addict like Janis: 😂 not your usual stalker but think about it Janis: pretty good candidate for the flat whites Jimmy: They do need to make up numbers Jimmy: And he don't seem like a trifler with the application Jimmy: Very committed to hanging around young girls Janis: Yeah, you're devvo your fanbase is dwindling Janis: Certainly one way to get back on everyone's minds and lips, babe Jimmy: Having a cry wank while I pack up me socks Jimmy: Rumbled me Janis: Nasty Janis: leave that one behind, like Janis: nice reminder of you for your Da Jimmy: If you find an odd it isn't your crap laundry skills, mate Janis: Good to know Janis: Can't knock out another one before you go? Janis: Lightweight Jimmy: For you I will Jimmy: You're welcome Janis: 😍 Janis: The romance Jimmy: #goals is my thing so Jimmy: 💐 Janis: Be putting that on the 'gram later then Janis: green with envy or 🤢 Jimmy: Everyone knows your snap is where the good shit goes 😏 Jimmy: Get a story going in every room once we're in, naturally Janis: Shut up 😳 Janis: s'one way to christen it, like Janis: the fans will approve Jimmy: I wouldn't disapprove meself Jimmy: But I'll be #buzzing not to trip over your brother constantly to be honest Jimmy: And not to have Bobby in and out of my bed Jimmy: Privacy like, how and what even is that? 😂 Janis: You clearly loved it Janis: Or he did Janis: either way, get a room 😉 Janis: Its gonna be pure luxury Jimmy: I see you, trying to dump me so you don't have to share the bed Jimmy: Gonna have to get more creative than fobbing me off on your brother, sorry Janis: Nah, you're a pretty good bed mate, to be fair Janis: Snuggly 😘 Jimmy: Only pretty good? Jimmy: Challenge accepted there then Janis: I mean, not saying I've had better Janis: but my last mans was a real 🐻 you know? Jimmy: No need to spur me on to 🏆mate Jimmy: Not with my winning streak Jimmy: 😎💪 Janis: 😏 We'll see Janis: Not leaving your competition at home, Gracie's heart would break, like Jimmy: Thought she'd be used to what a heartbreaker I am by now Janis: Who but me could ever keep up with your games, yeah? 🤷 Jimmy: Running rings round me, you Janis: Huh, a compliment? Janis: Not going to help you with your heavy shit up the stairs like just 'cos you're a 🍭talker Jimmy: I'm not asking. Got your nan coming round in a bit like 😏 Janis: 😂 feeling better with her on side now? Janis: brave, like, having her as your landlady Jimmy: I got no pianos or anvils I'm packing Jimmy: Should be alright Janis: just the 🎻right? Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Can't go far without that Janis: Not gotta sing for your supper, like Janis: not promising better than the chipper though Jimmy: Mate in this house that's fancy shit Jimmy: Can take me outta here but Janis: are Cass and Bob gonna come help? Janis: use the term loosely for Bobs but I'm sure I can convince my Da that Cass needs sustenance for all her 💪 Jimmy: They wanna Jimmy: I said they'd be more of a hindrance, especially if they drag Twix along but what can I say, most poorly trained of the lot, they are Janis: I'll whip 'em into shape Janis: Managed you, like Janis: If they got bored they can always go down and play pool and get crisps Jimmy: I give Cass half an hour before she's taking you up on that Jimmy: Over everything she is Jimmy: Fuck knows where she gets that from 😂 Janis: 😏 Right mystery that Janis: Ah to be 15 and have it all figured out, like Jimmy: I don't reckon she does, lad I see her hanging about with Jimmy: Right dickhead he looks Jimmy: Just mates, been there, said that, kid Janis: 👴 Janis: Maybe she's avoided your flair for the dramatic Janis: We can only hope or you're gonna have to be all up on her feed 👀 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: Have a word, will ya Jimmy: Might go in more than one ear you saying it Janis: This what we become already? Janis: Not even in the front door like Janis: Don't let on, the field day the fans would have Jimmy: Dream team, we are Jimmy: On me own I'm just that dickhead Jimmy: Not news to Cass or the fans Janis: You're my dickhead 💞 Jimmy: You're cute 💕 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Prospect of finally getting outta this place and having our own space got me feeling a type of way Jimmy: Cheers to that 🍻 Jimmy: The barn and my car both have their own charms like but Janis: Good times Jimmy: You might be needing them back desperate when it hits what living with me is gonna be like Jimmy: Sure you got me that well trained? Janis: Definitely don't get rid, like Janis: Never know when you'll need to drive off dramatically into the night Jimmy: Or sleep in the backseat when you get mardy enough to kick me out Janis: You know Janis: Living above a pub, may as well act like we're in Eastenders Jimmy: Plot twist, it was Twix framing me all along Jimmy: That bitch Janis: Duff duff duff duff duff Janis: What a cliffhanger Jimmy: Predictable, but we know she is Janis: 😎 Shade Janis: Can't help how irresistible I am Janis: slept with half the square by the end of the month Jimmy: Who am I squaring up to this week 🥊 tune in to find out, lads Janis: Poor babe Janis: When you find out you shoulda been with lovely Lil Mo all along Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: You come home and I've moved Tam in Jimmy: Thank god for them high ceilings Jimmy: Love story years in the making Janis: 😣 and I'm still gonna hit it 'cos double standards and nah, bitch Janis: take my man, not my flat, how dare you Jimmy: And your 🐶 too Jimmy: Out of order Janis: She's gonna turn up squashed in a car compactor next ep Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: 4 x 4 and she still struggling for that head room Janis: You know that's your type Janis: Typical sketchy photographer, you Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: Not my fault your sibling rivalry with Gracie included being taller Janis: Likely story Janis: Going some to up your portfolio game tho, lad Jimmy: Go tall or go home Janis: Know I never mastered the artsy fringe but Janis: tah for sticking around still, like Jimmy: You're welcome Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: When you take charity fake dating too far, ladies and gents Jimmy: Fake yeah, Charity nah, babe Janis: Love you Jimmy: If you don't reckon you're beautiful by now I'm gonna have to take more pictures Jimmy: Good thing we've got a blank canvas for a bit Janis: Always wanted to live in a shrine to myself, obvs Janis: I'll have to amateur hour it so peeps know you live here too, like Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Can you? Got that pro status, mate Janis: 👌 I picked up a few tips Janis: you're not totally useless, like Jimmy: Thanks Jimmy: Love you too, like Janis: 💞 Jimmy: Reckon I'm done here Jimmy: Do you want me to come and get you or are we gonna need two trips for the boxes? Janis: Mental you ever unpacked that much tbh Janis: I reckon we can squeeze, no doubt my parents wanna follow like the creepers they are if there's too much anyway Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: and I'm gonna have to go back for Cass and Bob at some point anyway Jimmy: Don't need to be back and forth enough to make my dad think I'll miss the place Janis: Don't reckon even he can pull off that level of purposefully oblivious, like Janis: and don't reckon he wants me to come 'round to say farewell either, not that I EVER set a foot inside, like, nah 😉 Jimmy: Good times Janis: Don't be getting emotional on me now Janis: Look how far we made it, like Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll be #buzzing if I make it up the stairs with this shit Jimmy: 🚭 lads, who knew it was so bad for you Janis: the ban and the warning labels just flew right over you, like Janis: know you're not that tall but 😏 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Least your warnings worked 😏 Jimmy: Healthy as a 🐎 now like Jimmy: Never seen a horse do stairs is all Janis: is it them you can take up but they won't come down? Janis: or cows, maybe Janis: look, all I'm saying is, don't invite Mia 'round or we'll never be rid Jimmy: Fucked if I know Jimmy: You're the country girl Jimmy: We only have glue up north Jimmy: And burgers Jimmy: No cows Janis: 🙄 Janis: Am not, dickhead Jimmy: Tell it to the veg patch, mate Jimmy: You can move out but there's no leaving all that lot behind Janis: Don't say that Janis: that's the whole fucking point! 😂 Jimmy: You collect all the keys they've got and then we won't give any more out Jimmy: Done Janis: 😍 Janis: now you're talking my language Jimmy: Gotta get you back on side before I'm trapped in a car with you Jimmy: Surrounded by heavy objects Janis: Sensible boy Jimmy: Well trained Jimmy: I'm coming over now Jimmy: 💪 too if you need a hand Janis: Just the one? Janis: Shame 😈 Jimmy: Now you're talking my language Janis: Quicker we unpack the faster they'll all leave Jimmy: Why do you think I'm not bringing much 😏 Janis: Always thinking, my boy Jimmy: Not just a pretty face Janis: Nah Janis: have missed it tho Janis: and not just 'cos I've been staring at boxes for the past few hours Jimmy: Awh 💕 Jimmy: You'll be sick of it soon enough like Janis: Threat or a promise? Jimmy: We'll see Janis: Tease Jimmy: First time you've ever complained though Jimmy: Bit late Janis: Fickle like that Janis: but you knew that too so Jimmy: Nobody can say I didn't know what I was getting into Jimmy: Couldn't even play fake nice, you Janis: You loved it Jimmy: Yep Janis: Thank fuck Janis: Plan B where I had to join the flat whites woulda been rough stuff, like Jimmy: You'd have loved it Janis: Clearly, all I ever want from life is spending more time with my sister Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Gonna move her in instead of me then? Jimmy: I'll turn this car around Janis: Hell no Janis: not been able to share a room for years Janis: nevermind a bed, as much as the pervs would love that Jimmy: Think of the 'gram Jimmy: Have I taught you nowt Janis: Don't even fucking suggest it Janis: the idea of that makes likes would defs go to her head Jimmy: I'm here now so feel free to shut me up Janis: 💪 Janis: Coming