#gdi misunderstandings as a plot device

[purple-patches]

Ok, what if

Oswald was about to confess to Ed for the bajillionth time but he backs off halfway through and asks for romantic advice for an imaginary love interest instead.

“Ed.. these past few months, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you.. I’ve discovered an aspect of myself I never thought I’d find. What with our, line of work and all. But fortune smiled upon me, you see.”

Genuinely curious, “Ooh... and what did you find, Oswald?”

Curling his trembling hands into fists, he waves them in the air by the sides of his chest. “I think, I’ve found someone and.. I have ample reason to admit.. that I’ve fallen in love.”

And Ed’s brain crashes.

Oswald hesitates when he notices Ed staring blankly at him, backs out when the doubt hits (again). He decides to ask Ed for advice instead, trying to wave away the awkward situation (and totally failing).

“He’s... wonderful, and-and intelligent. Um, he doesn’t see me yet... not as I see him. So... What should I do?” He rubs his thumbs over the palms behind his back, trying not to appear too anxious. Oswald relaxes when Edward responds by pushing up his glasses. (His mind is probably still a blue screen of death).

“You’ve always been a romantic at heart, Ed, how do you woo someone?” Maybe Oswald could spin this to his favor, pick up some ideas and learn more about Edward’s romantic preferences for the time being.

“Well.. what, what is he like?” Ed crosses his arms, scratches his ear, looks away, finding the floor very interesting. (And right now, he is f e e l i n g things and he doesn’t know why)

“Oh, you know, he’s thoughtful, and smart...”

I could be smarter.

“His smile could... light up a room!” He chuckles, waving his hands in the air.

I could smile brighter.

“Truthfully, I’ve never felt like this before, Ed. No one has ever made me feel the way he does. He’s the only one...” Oswald just drops bits and pieces of his heart hoping Ed would see under the veil, but Ed is still staring at him like that. Oswald plays it off with a laugh and a dismissive wave of a hand.

“Perhaps we could discuss in length my future romantic pursuits some other time. Maybe you could... give me some tips? Like what you do with Isabelle.” He doesn’t actually want to hear about Isabelle. He just wants to hide in his room and scream his voice hoarse about his stupid cowardice into a pillow, maybe smash a vase or two. Just disappear into his bedsheets and hope this awkward moment would be over soon.

Meanwhile, Ed is fraying at the edges, wringing his hands together, smile pinched and nod swift. “Okie dokie.”

“Yes, yes, now you best be off with dear Isabelle!” Oswald clasps his hands together jovially. Ed doesn’t correct him.

“Of course, yes. We have plans about.. plans.”

Oswald pats his arm amicably and with that he disappears into his room, a very confused Ed in his wake.

Ok im just weak for a jealous, pining, oblivious, in-denial Edward and a withdrawn lovelorn yet vicious Oswald.

Watch them dance in our shipper’s thrall. Suffer.

So in conclusion:

(Pic’s from @kaijuvenom)