#game freak you have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

The Thrilling Saga of Connie paying real life money for the Worst Sonic TV Show

Let’s begin with the simple fact that me and my sister, @birdsareblooming​ “Cori”, have both been hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog since last March. During this hyperfixation, I was on Sonic Wiki to copy-paste song lyrics onto my stolen mp3s, and I called my sister in and pointed at the template at the bottom. 

“What is this Sonic Underground thing?” I asked. “It has one shit billion songs.” 

So we clicked on the page to read about it, and each sentence we read was a punch in the gut and this quickly became the funniest thing we’d ever read. Highlights include:

It looks like this:

“Sonic[...] is known to be a prince” 

Sonic has two siblings who actually have good characterization but their names are literally just Sonia and Manic. Like. Sonic split into two names. jesus christ 

Also Sonic and his siblings all share a voice actor. honestly Jaleel White does his best with it but 

“The three siblings possess enchanted medallions that transform not only into musical instruments, but also into weapons.”

“Some fans consider Sonia to be a clone of Amy Rose, minus the attraction Amy feels for Sonic.” YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

“Manic is the most often captured of the siblings” himbo king 

Knuckles shows up, and for the first, like, two sentences his description is very similar to the game, and then you get immediately pulverized by “He has a pet Dinosaur called Chomps.”

Literally so many sentences on Sonic Wiki are lowkey salty about this show. The page features lines such as “Sonic Underground bears little relation to the often complex Sonic universe (including previous animated series, as well as Sonic comics and games), and shares only three established characters” and “many of the characters in the Freedom Fighter group that were in Sonic the Hedgehog are completely left out (including Tails).”

“The show met with mostly negative reviews.”

*checks air dates* It only lasted two goddamn months

So after seeing this we thought it was the funniest thing and we showed our older sister, @patema-introverted​ “North.” To our surprise, our at the time “knew nothing about this sonic bullshit” sister recognized the show. Turns out she’d seen trailers for it as a child and that was her sole exposure to Sonic canon. 

We were in quarantine at the time, so we ended up finding it on YouTube and binge-watching it all together as a sibling bonding activity. It was just as hilarious as we thought it would be- some stuff was legitimately good, like the sibling dialogue for instance, but good lord were the character designs ugly, the plot all over the place, and pretty much every song, um, not great. Also there was one episode that we skipped because it got, um, I think “stereotypical” is the nicest word I can use here. 

But the point is, we had a jolly good time watching it, and afterwards we binged all the other Sonic shows and bonded as a family. 

After quarantine, North and I go back to college. My roommate gets groceries at Walmart, while I get them elsewhere, so while she and North collect food I wander the DVD aisle to look at the cool movies and also dumpster-dive in the bargain bin for Cats (2019). I am also short as fuck, so the top shelf of movies I cannot see, I can only read the labels. 

So one day I was browsing the DVDs, and glancing over at the labels for the top shelf. I read over the final one before the shelves end. 

And then I stop, do a double take, and have a heart attack, because there is a label that reads “SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74″

I immediately climb the shelf but there aren’t any DVDs atop the shelf. However, the label is still there. I excitedly tell my sister and roommates, freak out with them a bit, and then give myself a mission statement:

I will buy the $4 Sonic Underground DVD from Walmart

I did not want it as a gift, I did not want to find it online. I wanted to walk into a store, pick up the Worst Sonic Show on DVD, walk it straight to the checkout, and in front of the cashier and God, pay for it with my own money. I did not care if it was the whole series or two episodes; I needed to do this for my own serotonin.

We would go to Walmart about once a week. Every time, I would go to the DVD aisle, and go right to the end of the shelves. I would stare at the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74 and empty space above it and wonder who the fuck was buying this other than me. I would occasionally ask employees if they had any copies in storage. I would build a shrine to Manic in my room. Okay, no I didn’t, but only because my RA would have murdered me. 

Christmas break comes, and we have to go home. We have a nice Christmas, and Cori and I infodump at each other about how we would make Sonic Underground a good show (note: we’re both galaxy braining) and also play Bendy and the Ink Machine. Fun times. 

When we finally get back to College, it’s late January- long story short we have a very long winter break. My roommate who gets food at Walmart got food without us the first week cause she showed up first, so we take her out to Walmart the first time in the year of our lord 2021 on January 29. 

I wander the Valentine’s aisle, immediately grabbing a sequin puppy. I go to the DVDs and see Animaniacs Season One, also grab that. 

And then.

There it is.

The Holy Grail. 

Above the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74, is one DVD left. 

Already I am losing my mind. It’s roughly seven hours of episodes- I couldn’t find an episode list, but I think that’s half the show, for $4! And the cover is amazing. 

That’s a png of Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) with a medallion badly photoshopped over it. The medallion is too small. 

Manic is shoved into the corner. He doesn’t have his medallion at all. 

Sonia isn’t even pictured on the front cover, probably because they realized she was the worst designed of the bunch. I��m not ragging on her though, because she’s still one of the better designed characters of the show. Those background characters make me cry 

So you bet your ass I finally paid my hard-earned $4 for this shit. Upon getting home, I discovered that there was even wilder shit with this DVD than I thought. 

For starters: the bonus features listed are as follows:

Original Concept Art - did not expect that these character designs were the final draft

Storyboard-to-screen - did not expect they bothered to storyboard this 

Music Video Jukebox - that’s cute, they thought we liked the music 

Interviews with original screenwriter & executive producer - I fully expect the only questions to be “why.” 

On the left of this list are screenshots from the show, where people can finally see Sonia, who we Know™ is a girl because she is pink and has hair and also an actual body shape instead of just circles like her brothers. 

But wait... what’s that in the lefthand corner? 

That looks like some kind of robot. But it’s not a robot from Sonic Underground! That didn’t appear once. Why is it here? 

The mystery continues upon opening the DVD case: inside are advertisements for other collections, including other Sonic DVDs: two volumes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and the final episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog “SatAM” (1993)

First of all, the first volume of AOSTH has the exact same PNG of Sonic as the Underground Volume 1. Not even trying to hide it. But second... the second volume of AOSTH also has this robot on its cover. 

And THIS ROBOT IS ALSO DECORATING THE THIRD DISC IN THE SET?

So you may be asking, who is this robot? Is it from AOSTH or Underground?

IT’S FROM FUCKING SATAM. The one show that doesn’t have it decorating the DVD covers.

Also, not only is it from SatAM, it only appears in one fucking episode. Not a major character! AND IT HAS A DIFFERENT DESIGN ON THE PROMO ART, WITH HAIR AND FANGS.

Why is it showing up everywhere? What is going on? 

I have not yet had the opportunity to watch this glorious piece of animation, but I am so glad at the confusion I have felt upon receiving it. 

But before I go, I must share with you the best part of this DVD purchase. And it was flipping to the back, scanning the details, and discovering the exact runtime of the episode collection. 

Guys, gals, and enby pals, friends and enemies, Nintendo and Sega, the first Volume of Sonic Underground has a runtime of...

420 MINUTES.

Maybe I’m wrong and this IS the best Sonic show. 

[lizacstuff]

Your thoughts on the epi? And the trailers? I'm loving the in love Edser! We've waited so long for this!!!

This episode was so fun and fluffy! I don't know about you, but I am enjoying the tone during this second season. A lot. I don't care how stupid the audition process was for the spot in the school, it gave us some very good comedy and a lot of USTy, sexy, flirty goodness.

And like you, I also love in love Edser!

Thankfully this episode was dominated by Edser, and with Kiraz at Granny's house we even got some alone time. The supporting characters were used to good effect this episode, Engin and Piril were the funniest they've ever been, Kerem and Pina served to poke Serkan about his mentoring style, and it was actually nice to have an excuse for Ayfer and Aydan to share a storyline again.

(more under the cut)

However, we'll start with Burak and Melo. UGH. I mean I love Melo and Elcin has done a really good job of showing Melo's heartbreak and trying to hide her melancholy behind her usual bubbly personality, but I really can't stand that it's over such a dud of a character. I know I'm a broken record here but Melo deserves better than this fool. Honestly, he's such a bland sad sack I don't really get why Melo loves him, Eda wants to be friends with him and Ayfer thinks he's so great she wants him for a nephew-in-law. Well, for Ayfer the only qualification is that he's not Serkan, so never mind that question.

However, maybe there's some hope? Before this episode it seemed certain they were heading in a romance direction, but the way he told her she was like a sister to him? Is there really any coming back from him saying that after he remembered kissing her? On the other hand we're barreling towards the end here and there's not really enough time to introduce anyone new for Melo (and no indication from spoilers that they have) and I'm pretty sure Ayse and the writers want to give her a romantic happy ending (although I'd be fine if they didn't and instead had her go off and do something entirely for herself like go back to school or travel or open a shop). So we'll see, because even with the sister line they left some room open because Kerem was the one who suggested he say that (it wasn't necessarily his own idea) and with Melo he seemed to be coming from a place where he assumed he had forced himself on her and she was angry because she didn't want it. Which we know is not true, so might be a misunderstanding that leads to something more. Anyway, I guess we'll just have to endure whichever way they go.

Personally, I like the Serkan-Kemal father storyline. I think it's a good way to add a bit of drama in the waning episodes, gives Serkan a bit of an identity crisis, interestingly mirrors his own situation with Kiraz, and it just makes sense with everything we know of the characters. Because were we seriously supposed to believe that someone as sniveling as Alptelkin sired Serkan? I mean Serkan is the epitome of BDE, he has an inherent charismatic and commanding presence. Sorry to the actor who played Alptekin, but he didn't really have any kind of presence, however Sinan who plays Kemal, does. They've done a great job of casting, because it just feels true. I believe Kemal and Serkan share genetics.

However, even before that storyline starts in earnest, it's interesting that Serkan was being a big baby, not wanting his mom with a man she clearly loves. I wish Eda would have pushed back at him a little more when he was going off that Aydan shouldn't pursue love at her age! Does he think he'll be out of love with Eda by the time he's in his 50s and 60s? Of course not! I'm guessing Eda, though, is just letting him blow off some steam and come to accept the relationship on his own terms. Don't get me wrong, though, after all the meddling Aydan's done with Edser, she more than deserves to have Serkan's opinion of Kemal negatively impact her!

Loved that Kiraz and Can found out first that Kemal is Serkan's father! Cat is out of the bag, Aydan, you can't make a deal with a 5 year old, lmao. It put a nice ticking clock on the whole thing and gave us some good comedic moments where Kiraz is speaking the truth and everyone thinks she's just really fond of the dude. Hee.

Also I enjoyed the Aydan and Ayfer moments. To be honest, I also used to enjoy their true friendship moments when we got them, like when Kemal first appeared and Aydan was freaking out and needed Ayfer and Seyfi around her, and when they were trying to hunt down Deniz after the fake wedding turned real. After so much animosity, it was nice that Ayfer recognized that Aydan was truly in distress and needed a friend and they were able to actually talk. Also we got some (mildly) funny comedy with the two of them and the school lady. Speaking of Ayfer, thankfully she finally realized some consequences to her actions in pushing Burak at Eda. She hurt Melo! Glad she finally opened her eyes to see what should have been obvious to her (Eda never saw him that way, and Melo obviously did) and apologized to Melo. I'd like it if she would apologize to Eda as well, (and Burak deserves an apology as well because she most definitely gave him false hope) but since Eda wasn't influenced by her we probably won't see that.

Switching to Eda and Serkan this episode gave us lots of good stuff. This was a great episode for showing us where each of them stood. Eda is terrified of getting hurt and trying to hold him at arm's length even while he clearly is inching back into her heart, and Serkan is dreaming of their future together, and taking every opportunity to tie them together. How much did I love Serkan admitting he was poking at Eda, and doig things to make her angry, just so she would talk to him? Interesting that he's doing it and love that he's being honest and admitting it to her. One of my favorite relationship dynamics between them is around "talking." In the very beginning Serkan did a lot of complaining about how much Eda talked and how she never shut up, but starting around episode 18 all he wanted was for Eda to talk to him. And this is just more of that. The thing he wants most is to talk to her.

Plus watching domestic Edser is just so much fun, I could watch their full grocery shopping trip in real time and be perfectly happy, lol. At the age of 35 it's time that Serkan learn how to do a few things for himself, I don't care how rich he is, so it's nice that we see him evolving a bit as he embraces the dad role.

The jealousy gambits, even as mild as they are, are getting pretty eye roll worthy since Eda and Serkan are living together, care so much, and obviously are still so hot for one another. It's a bit more understandable from Serkan since Eda is the one creating the barrier between them, but are we really supposed to believe that Eda is jealous of Deniz when Serkan is so obviously in love with Eda and planning their future together? Especially when he clearly can't stand Deniz and tries so hard to avoid her? I suppose it's to show us that Eda is in a jumbled state, her head is trying to keep space with Serkan, while her heart wants him badly and is scared he's going to take her rejections seriously. Even so it was quite irrational for her to get angry at Serkan for having lunch with Deniz when she ordered him to leave with her. Poor Eda is in emotional turmoil.

It was hard to tell with shaky translations, but I guess Serkan claimed to have been injured while rescuing Eda and that's how he talked his way into her bed? Impressively done, Serkan. Love it because it meant we all got to wake up to snuggly family, snuggling together. This gave us another glimpse into Eda's psyche, she wakes up first, and is clearly enjoying it and feeling at home in his arms, until the sleep clears enough and her head realizes she's not supposed to be enjoying it. But once again Kiraz knows how to handle her parents and their complicated relationship beautifully and fixes everything with a pillow fight. That is one smart cookie.

One of my favorite moments of the episode is when Eda is trying to convince Serkan to go to Aydan about the school. Eda knows that her big eyes still work on him, and they did. He still can't say no to her, another one of my favorite relationship dynamics of theirs. I'm super glad some things never change. Speaking of their visit to Aydan's, how great that they went to meet the horse without a name as a family, and then Serkan finally came up with the perfect name. Definitely a star.

Love, love, love that Serkan and Eda beat Engin and Piril when it came to the 'how well do you know your spouse' game. They may have been separated for 5 years, but they both have a genuine interest in the other, so they remember things, and they always made a much more compatible couple than Engin/Piril who have absolutely nothing in common. Of course I adored all the fake married hijinx this gave us, not to mention all the opportunities for Serkan to touch, kiss, and hold her. SO MUCH UST!

The heart-to-heart on the bench was well done and it finally gave us Eda opening up and telling him what's been holding her back. She's scared. Of course she is, the poor thing. Serkan might have thought he was doing it for her own good both times, but he ripped her heart out twice (not even counting all the heart ripping he did during amnesia) how could she not have fears? Of course she's afraid! Whenever she lets herself love him and be loved by him, it's ripped away horribly, and often in ways that feels like it's him doing the ripping. She can take into consideration the circumstances, which she has or else he wouldn't be anywhere near her, and still need time to be sure she's not just setting herself up to get emotionally demolished again.

For Serkan's part all he can do is keep being there, being honest with her, and showing he's in it for the long haul, which I think he's doing and which is why they are where they are at the end of this episode.

Engin and Piril's dance practice is probably the first Engin/Piril alone scene that I thought was genuinely funny and fully enjoyable. I can't think of another... message me if you think there is one, lol. Elsewhere, I saw some folks saying that Engin and Piril should have won the dance competition, because they actually danced, and Eda and Serkan didn't. LOL, you think? I'm pretty sure that was the point. That Eda and Serkan didn't really dance, all they did was get up there and turn their sexual tension and intense smoldering towards one another up to eleventy and won because it's that powerful.

It's sort of a metaphor for this whole series. Sen Cal Kapimi is 100% powered by their chemistry. Of course they can win any competition by just pressing their bodies against one another! They can turn a ditzy Turkish summer romcom that probably should have gone 13 eps into an international hit that's going on 50 episodes, just by looking at one another.

I'm glad that the school officials overheard their conversations and dismissed them, any organization that requires this of the parents, is going to be a lifelong pain-in-the ass, lmao. Also it was good to see Edser and EnPir make up by the end.

Now, on to that ending. I'm glad the subject of the tatoos was brought up, interesting that Eda kept hers until a few months ago. Also interesting that she moved it... can't blame Serkan for wanting to see it. Was that one great seduction line, or what?

I join with everyone who thinks it was a slightly awkward place to leave the episode. We only have 13 (probably) episodes this season, and we've only had one kiss so far. That was definitely a moment for a kiss. Part of me thinks they were going for the cliffhanger, what will Eda do? Will she kiss him or slam the door in his face? Tune in next week to find out! Except that audiences have to wait no time at all for the fragman and that makes any such cliffhanger moot. So what's the point? Have her pull him in, kiss him, and the show can end with them passionately making out and the door slamming with the camera outside the house.

Oh well, it is what it is, and we can only hope they pick up next week right where they left off. As for the fragman, obviously they are fully back together for this episode which means she lets him in to hunt for her tattoo. (please oh please give us that internet ozel because I don't think I can stand being online in this fandom if they don't. Thankfully I'm traveling next week and will be too busy to spend much time on twitter.)

As I said in another ask, I'm not surprised Serkan is barreling them straight towards marriage. When you know, you know, so why wait? Once they emotionally commit to one another, they need to just get married. No waiting for psychos to interfere, family to meddle, or tragedy to strike!

Seriously can't wait for a full episode of them together and Serkan figuring out how to propose. I'm also looking forward to the Kemal/Serkan stuff, it will be interesting to see how he reacts once the news sets in... should be a great episode!

[dollymadness]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Yuu Nishinoya as a boyfriend; ⌂ᶜᵒᵐᶠᵒʳᵗ ˢᵖᵒᵗ

ﾟ･｡･

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ [mostly soft hcs 💗]

𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬; ♡︎

he likes going out on adventures, such as theme parks, going to the other side of the town just to buy a specific flavour of icecream or even going to the beach.

also "sit on my lap and paint my nails" dates — he likes his nail polish on colorful and bright tones

takes you on food dates, but, as already said, he appreciates a good challenge. So yes, you're going out to eat, but you will have buy the burgerking sandwich... the milkshake will be from mcdonalds. His drink? He wants a starbucks size large. Oh, and don't forget his chicken kfc steaks and, if the time allows. some fini from any random store.

walking without direction, letting the wind lead you, also looks like a pretty good date for him.

𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠; ♥︎

snaps you with the funniest pics ever (and he really put effort on every single one).

audios that go up to 3 minutes, half of it being him trying to remember what he was talking about

audios laughing (long audios laughing)

you two have the "emoji of the week" thing — mostly because he likes copying you 🦖

he is always writing all incorrectly, not only because he is already bad at grammar, but also cause he's always so excited to talk to you, even when it's about the smallest things. — "BWBE LOOJ AT THIS, OMF PLD IN CRYUNG" — when he is nervous is kinda of a guessing game.

Nishinoya is a morning person, which means you'll always wakeup with a cute, romantic message of good morning. ALWAYS.

"gooood morning to the best s/o in the world AKA YOUU!! 😽 ilysm, you know that? I miss u aaAAGSGSHSHSHSEH

now, go eat a healthy breakfast (send me a pic, bc i don't believe you 👀) and drink water. text me when you're on the mood to talk, hope you have an amazing day! 😍🥰"

he loves a good gossip... the type that tag you on twitter threads, and right after call you to comment about "the TEA"

𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚��� 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚; ♡︎

Nishinoya is your biggest fan. He will never scroll to your photos without leaving at least 10 comments.

interacts so much on your twitter, he replys every tweet you make and tag you on every thing he think is barely funny or romantic.

he founds acting like a proud dad/grandpa hilarious, so everytime he posts you, the captions look like this: GOOD MORNING TO ALL OF MY INSTAGRAM FRIENDS!!! ☀️🌻 I LOVE MY #PARTNER @/yn ☺️😳😍🥰😼😽💖 THANK YOU FOR TODAY, BEAUTIFUL. #happy #couplegoals

(obs: the hashtags are part of the fun)

tiktok addicted + tags you on everything. astronomy posts "@/yn look the libra one BAAHHAAGAHAHGSGSHSJA",

couple posts "@/yn lets?",

cute cats "AWWWWWW 🥺 @/yn tagging you bc it made me so happy!"

and all art/edits posts he sees on his fyp.

secret owner of a fan account for you.

𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧; ♥︎

he loves it.

always doing one of this two:

1. holding you pinky with his.

2. grabbing your waist.

as he love language is words of affirmation, he enjoys screaming compliments for you, in front of everyone and without a single drop of shame.

loves sitting on your lap (again, this is all in front of other people).

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬; ♡︎

babe = his usual, also uses it a lot when he is whining about something.

m'lady/m'lord/m'noble = is the first thing he adress when he gets to see you. — "Hi, m'lady." He reaches to kiss your hand.

beautiful = uses it to catch your attention

love of my life = this he uses most on social media "loml"

teddybear/kitty = only when he is needy

sir · ma'am/master/ur highness · majesty/my owner = you know for when this fits...

𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐡𝐜𝐬; ♥︎

he is the one stealling your clothes, always taking your jacket in the first opportunity.

he created your family on the sims and got all excited about it: "look how our son will be!"

he gives you little """love"''" letters:

"my dearly loved,

your ass looks good today! :)

sign: me"

call him Yuu JEALOUSY Nishinoya, because he will freak out everytime another man gets a little close to you and he will speak his mind.

does little origamis for you.

he is so into being a house husband, already a pro on doing house stuff since he has 3 sisters that he would never on earth let do any of the chores. On this topic, Nishinoya is a gentleman.

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖; ꨄ︎

submisse!! ; sub ; SUbmissive ★ ; SUB!!! ; s u b ★

experimentalist — he will take anything you feel like giving him.

he believes that is his his job to worship your whole body, no matter how it looks. He places kisses, licks and bites every single part of you (which implict means that he has a feet/hand kink)

still on the body worship topic, he loves eating you up — without nothing in return. — he is in love with how you taste, he will always swallow and thank you for letting him feel you

maid dress ★

he will curl and kiss your boots with passion, everything that resonates with you deserves devotion.

he is SO loud, moaning even for the smallest move.

impact play - again, he will take anything and everything.

overstimulating and cum denying — he just likes being pushed to the edge.

me and my husband, we are doing better; ♡︎

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 27: Ransom

(Protect those you love), prepare to leave it all behind.

Whumptober 2019 Day 27: Ransom

Word Count: 2161

Relationships: Intrulogical

Warnings: Kidnapping, physical violence/weapon (knife), blood and injuries, mentions of torture, threats of non-con to another character, vulgar/explicit language, mentions of drug usage/bad parenting/death of a minor character (not a side), cursing

A/N: hmm... i don't really know what to think of this one, to be honest. it feels weird to write right now, since i'm a bit sick, but i don't know. maybe it's not as awful as it feels like it is. who knows. anyway, have this shit. i'm not really a huge intrulogical shipper, since i don't actually ship remus with anybody (i hc him as aro), but logan fit so here we are.

It’s pretty cold here. Remus knows that being kidnapped and held hostage in a basement however far below the surface isn’t a particularly forgiving situation, but couldn’t his kidnapper give him a blanket or something? It’s too fuckin’ cold for this! And it’s weird, because the guy seems pretty warm himself despite not even wearing a jacket or anything, just a t-shirt, and it makes Remus a little jealous. Remus is always cold, but this place just makes it worse.

He doesn’t even know why he’s here, either. He’s not special, doesn’t stand out, isn’t known for any notable actions or anything. He’s just a simple guy, a dude who lives in a shit apartment and works two jobs in fast food and bartending. He’s pretty common, in society’s eyes, so… why is he here? 

The blow to the head had been delivered from behind, just after Remus has gotten into his apartment after work. It came when he least expected it, which is so not fair, because he would have loved to fight the guy. Have a fun old-fashioned full-out brawl in his living room at two in the morning, show him what he’s got. It could have been a fun end to his shitty night, but no, of course the guy had to take the coward’s way out and avoid the fight completely. What a fucking bore.

Now, sitting here tied to this chair in the middle of the room, Remus doesn’t even really feel the pain from the big knot on his head. There’s better things to worry about, like “Am I out of milk?” and “Will I get back in time to catch the season finale of the television show I’ve been following since the premiere?”. Besides, injuries are nothing new to Remus, having grown up playing only contact sports, so a little bonk on the head is nothing compared to the evenings he’d come home from practice or games with welts and bruises littering every inch of his skin. Before she died, his mom would freak out over the blood and cuts on his arms and legs, but then he’d give her a toothy grin with multiple teeth missing from being knocked out, and she’d just shake her head and clean him up. His mom was super cool, before she became a druggie and too busy fucking whoever was closest to come home and take care of her kids.

Anyway, Remus still doesn’t get why he of all people had to have been kidnapped, because it’s not like he’s some important figure or in any sort of position of power. He holds sway exactly Nowhere, and therefore isn’t exactly the ideal choice when stealing someone from their home for your own gain. Whoever this guy is, he’s kind of a dumbass.

“Listen up. You’re gonna sit here, smile into the camera really pretty, and you ain’t sayin’ a word unless I tell you to. Got it?” the guy demands as he sets up a tripod, and Remus just snickers. His kidnapper gives him a withering glare as he settles the camera into the correct spot, and then walk around to the other wide to line the shot up the way he wants it. “What’s so funny?”

“Just wonderin’ what the video’s for. Who you gonna send it to, my dead grandma?” Remus asks, licks his lips with a grin as he wiggles in his seat. The ropes around his wrists are tight, but definitely loose enough to slip out of if he pulls hard enough. Remus gets to work using his sharp fingernails to slice through through the rope one strand at a time, to try and reduce the circumference and be able to slide it far enough through the knot that he’ll be able to just yank his hands free. Remus guesses that all those years of putting up with Roman’s boy scouts phase weren’t a complete waste.

“Nope. You got a brother, it’s goin’ to him,” the kidnapper replies with a sneer. He’s finally finished setting the camera up, presses a button to start it rolling, and the red light begins to blink. Remus raises an eyebrow as the kidnapper settles back slightly further from the tripod and pulls out a stack of note cards, and it’s with a barely contained giggle Remus realizes that he had to write his speech down.

“Proof of life,” the guy says into the microphone with a much deeper, more gruff voice than before, and it takes so much effort to not burst out into raucous laughter. “If you want your poor little brother here back to you alive, you’re gonna leave no less than 200 thousand in a bag at the address provided. Unmarked bills, no cops. You leave the money, and then you get your ass out of there. If you call the police or try to pull any tricks, little bro here is gettin’ a bullet to the face. Once I confirm the money’s clean, he’ll be dropped off somewhere within walking distance of help, alive. You have three days. If that money still isn’t with me by the time midnight rolls around come Saturday, he’s dead.”

The kidnapper presses a button on the top of the camera and the red light stops blinking with a little click. Just in time, too, because Remus busts out into uncontrollable laughter as soon as the camera stops recording. His lungs and chest hurt with how hard he’s laughing,  but he can’t stop, and the offended, angry look on the guy’s face just makes him laugh harder. 

“Stop fuckin’ laughing!” his kidnapper snaps, but his voice cracks at the end, and Remus is in tears. It’s pretty predictable when the guy rushes him and punches him in the jaw, knocking the rest of his breath out of his lungs in a pained wheeze. Remus barely has a moment to recover before the guy’s fist is buried in his gut, forcing a hacking cough from Remus’ throat. He wants to keep laughing, but now it hurts like a bitch to even breathe, so maybe staying quiet for now is the best option.

“I said I’d bring you back alive, not unharmed. Don’t fucking push me,” the guy growls maliciously, a cold glint in his eyes as he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a switchblade, flips the knife out in a way that shines the metal’s reflection of the light in Remus’ face. How annoying. The kidnapper presses the knife into Remus’ throat, in the same spot he’s had tracheostomies performed when his airway was blocked, and the feeling of smooth, sharp metal just centimeters away from his trachea is almost comforting in its familiarity.

“Fuck you,” Remus responds hoarsely, spits as much as he can and it lands on his kidnapper’s chin. Remus knows he’s going to be pissed, knows the fallout will be painful as fuck, but he can’t really seem to bring himself to care. He doesn’t regret it, either, not even when the guy yells out in anger and slams his fist into Remus’ stomach again. He doesn’t regret it when the guy mutters something about teaching him a lesson, he doesn’t regret it when he replaces his switchblade with the bigger chef’s knife laying on the shelf in the corner, and he certainly doesn’t regret it when the guy returns with a sadistic grin.

Remus will brag about what happens next for so, so long after he gets out of here, because it’s the funniest shit he’s ever done. The disheveled man brings the knife to Remus’ chest and pushes the blade into his skin, slowly slicing it open as the fresh cut forms a bleeding slash. But Remus doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t even yell from the pain. He just moans, one that isn’t of fear but rather high-pitched and obscene, a mockery of sex that leaves him barely able to hold onto the laugh that wants to push past his harshly gritted teeth. “Harder, daddy!”

And that’s probably the last straw, because the end of the cut turns much less clean in the guy’s lividity. The blade presses deeper into his skin, draws more blood and elicits more pain to radiate from his chest, and it takes more effort than Remus would like to not cry out. As much as he doesn find real humour in this situation, he can’t really afford to die here, so staying the dominant, unafraid personality to this man who obviously fears a lack of control is important. He can’t show fear, because that will just bolster the guy’s confidence and keep his head clear enough to not make mistakes. However, if he’s upset and feeling undermined, his anger will cause him to slip up, and allow Remus the opportunity to turn the tables on him. It does sound easy in hindsight, but slacking off won’t help any, so Remus focuses in on burying the pain below a layer of numbness.

“You know what? Maybe I won’t send it to your little brother. Maybe I won’t return you at all. Maybe, I’ll just keep you here, tied up so you can only sit there as I torture your little boyfriend,” the kidnapper seethes, and his eyes narrow as an even more deranged smile slips onto his face when Remus stiffens uncontrollably. “What, that hit a nerve? You scared for your little boy toy? What was his name… Logan, right? I know where he lives. And I’ll steal him from his bed, bring him here and force you to watch while I slice him up. Maybe I’ll make you watch me fuck him, take care of him better than you ever could, hmm? How about that? Want me to fuck your boyfriend for you? I saw him, y’know, a cute little nerd with glasses. Nice ass, skinny waist… he’s almost like a girl. Maybe I’ll keep him for myself, after I kill you, fuck him every single day while he just cries for his poor ol’e Remus.”

No. No, no, no no nononono. How dare he?! You can do anything to Remus. You can threaten him, make fun of him, torture him, and he’d laugh in your face. But this guy has the fucking nerve to bring his boyfriend into this? No. Unacceptable. This isn’t-- fuck.

And Remus knows he should stay calm, not let his words get to him, but…he knows Logan’s name. And apparently, where Logan lives. What if he does take Logan, does hurt him while Remus can’t even do anything about it, helplessly tied to a chair? What if this guy hurts his baby, hurts his Logan, and Remus could’ve prevented it? It’s far too easy to imagine Logan’s eyes filled with fear, the attempts to stave off tears, muffled cries of pain. All he can see in his mind is Logan traumatized, and for the very first time, the thought of sex makes Remus feel sick to his stomach.

So with an enraged snarl, Remus yanks his hands free from the flimsy rope keeping then locked behind the back of the chair, and then lunges. He relishes in the surprised yelp, the angered fear in his eyes, the way he scrambles to fight back far too late. Because he’s pinned under Remus, and once he’s got someone in his grip, he isn’t letting go. For probably too long, Remus just sits there, beating his kidnapper with shaking fists. The man fell unconscious a while ago, hasn’t been a threat for minutes, but Remus doesn’t have any other way to take out his frustration besides sitting here on top of this guy, pummeling him to hell and back. Eventually, his arms fall limply to his sides, and Remus’ eyes dull as he slouches over. His breathing is light and trembling, and there’s a feeling welling up in his chest that he doesn’t understand, can’t pinpoint or identify. His legs feel like they’re on fire when he pushes himself to his feet, burn when he sways a bit in an attempt to keep his balance. 

Remus doesn’t know where he is, or how far he was taken from his home, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what Remus has to go through, because as he climbs the ladder out of this cellar and emerges in a long, dark hallway, he knows. He knows as he trudges to the end, as he whips open the door on the other side to reveal an alleyway. He knows as he gets to the road, recognizes the bakery across the bustling traffic, and when he turns in the opposite direction of his apartment. He knows when he sees the green sign at the intersection, sees the familiar name of Logan’s street, when he approaches his apartment complex. He knows that Logan’s going to be okay, because he’s going to make sure of it, and Remus vows that nobody will ever be able to threaten his boyfriend ever again.

[takaraphoenix]

Harry Potter for the Ask Game 😂

Thanks for playing, let’s see how much I can fill for this one... xD

Top 5 favourite characters: LUNA LOVEGOOD, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Fred Weasley, George Weasley

Other characters you like: Cho Chang, Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black

Least favourite characters:the Dursleys, DOBBY, Dumbledore

Otps: Harry/Draco/Luna, Fred/Harry/George, Neville/Ginny, Luna/Ginny, Cedric/Harry, Remus/Sirius

Notps: Harry/Ginny, if we’re gonna stretch to the prequels then definitely Newt/Tina, honestly probably a lot more but I can’t think of any right now

Favourite friendships: Harry & Luna are legit my favorite dynamic, Harry & Hermione and damn I wish I would have gotten to see that Ron & Harry friendship book-readers keep claiming but the movies really didn’t sell it much...?

Favourite family:the Weasleys

Favourite episodes: doesn’t have episodes xD

Favourite season/book/movie: The Order of the Phoenix

Favourite quotes:uuuh I got none

Best musical moment: FINALLY SOMETHING WITH AN ACTUAL MUSICAL. *^* Okay, so, quite clearly one can not pick just one. But maybe Harry Freaking Potter? I just, I love A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel a whole lot *^*

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: mmh, honestly, when rewatching, every time I fangirl the hardest when I first get to see Luna ^-^ (can’t believe she only joins the plot in the FIFTH movie >_

When it really disappointed you:that Luna only joins in the fifth movie like seriously :D”““ also every time I hear how Ron is actually a far more likable character in the books??

Saddest moment: WHEN THEY KILL SIRIUS. THOSE BASTARDS ;-;

Most well done character death:uuuhm yeah no. I got nothing, I don’t find the deaths very... convincing or well done and honestly, most make me actively angry because of the avoidability

Favourite guest star: David Tennant! Does that count as a guest star??

Favourite cast member: Helena Bonham Carter

Character you wish was still alive: SIRIUS BLACK. Seriously, JKR beat Harry down in so many different ways. It... It really wasn’t necessary to give him his godfather and then kill him off. The series would have worked just fine if Harry had gotten to live with Sirius past book/movie five :D”““

One thing you hope really happens: I’d love a TV show remake, to be honest? A season per book, fixing the things that they screwed up, including more character development - seriously, Luna joins in the fifth book, but what’s nearly worse is that Harry’s endgame love interest who was in it since movie 1 has had less interactions with Harry in FIVE movies than Luna did in that one movie, like c’mon. A TV show would give so many opportunity to flesh dynamics and friendships and characters out better

Most shocking twist: uuuuh that they tried to sell Snape off as a good guy?? That was shocking because I still don’t find it very convincing :D”““

When did you start watching/reading?: I started reading the series back when the first book was first released ^^

Best animal/creature: Hedwig

Favourite location: I mean Hogwarts?

Trope you wish they would stop using: beat-down protagonist :D Seriously, the double-dead parents was already a lot, the evil overlord trying to constantly murder him, the abusive aunt and uncle, the bullying cousin, the CONTINUOUS abuse like seriously they could have gotten him out of there after he joined Hogwarts, then the bullying from a teacher like what the fuq and good gods when it finally looks as though he could catch a break... Harry’s new godfather gets killed off... it’s just... so... much

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: I mean, there clearly has to be something, otherwise it wouldn’t be so... all-consuming...? But... personally, I genuinely can’t put my finger on it; it never sucked me in the same way it did with others from my generation ^^°

Funniest moments: most things the twins do :D

Couple you would like to see: I was very pleased when the movies changed things to Neville/Luna in the end, but like... I don’t really have any ships I’d WANT to see, aside from “gay it up”, because seriously

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: uuuh I got nothing

Favourite outfit: the outfits are kind of all rather ridiculous? Probably Hermione’s Yule Ball dress??

Favourite item: the map or the cloak

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: no, I don’t

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Ravenclaw

Most boring plotline: THE FUCKING CAMPING TRIP. I swear there was no need to split that final book into two movies you coulda cut two hours of camping trip out of it, that is such a boring-ass drag it was mind-numbing

Most laughably bad moment:I... can’t think of one right now

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: were... were there flashbacks? Beyond the “look at how Harry’s parents got killed” and “look at Snape getting bullied”? Because I don’t think so and I don’t really dig either of these

Most layered character: Hermione?

Most one dimensional character: I mean thanks to the movies not really taking time to flesh most characters out... the majority, really...? Let’s say Vernon, because I think he was just as flat an abusive bully in the books

Scariest moment: okay so for me, as a smol child reading those books, absolutely Chamber of Secrets with the voices in the walls. I had nightmares and was scared of fucking WALLS for MONTHS

Grossest moment: can’t think of one?

Best looking male: Draco?

Best looking female: Luna?

Who you’re crushing on (if any): not really, no

Favourite cast moment: I don’t really care for these things ^^°

Favourite transportation: mmmh the teleportation through fireplaces probably?

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): I really don’t know

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:HOW THE EVER LOVING FUCK DOES FANTASTIC BEASTS FIT INTO ALL THIS SHIT. The first one was still fun, but then we get fashionable young Dumbledore to join the plot and suddenly there is ANOTHER Dumbledore who was never mentioned before and got to pose as Creepy Kid From The First One?? And why would kind, sweet Queenie mind-rape Jacob and join the bad guys and also wait did the bad wizards predict WWII was going to happen and like the bad guys yeah? Becaus ehonestly WWII is a solid call-out for humanity and where the ever-loving fuck is all of this going I have a headache, I just wanted to see a sheepish ginger collecting Pokémon magical creatures, not this hot mess

Best promo: I really don’t pay attention to these things

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: never. I mean, I don’t dislike it - I regularly rewatch the movies, am literally right now rewatching them with my adorable Draco-fangirl girlfriend - but I never fell in love with this franchise

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

[the-desolated-quill]

‘But They’re Covered In Nipples’: The Story Of Destroy All Humans - Quill’s Scribbles

Another E3 has come and gone. There was some good announcements. Square Enix unveiled their Avengers game, Keanu Reeves came on stage to give us the release date of Cyberpunk 2077, Ubisoft are making another Watch Dogs set in London, and... um... what else happened?

Oh yeah!

DESTROY ALL HUMANS IS BACK!!!!!!

Yes, the cult classic Destroy All Humans is returning next year, developed by THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games. This was quite possibly the nicest surprise I’ve ever had. When the teaser trailer came up on my YouTube recommendations, I practically screamed the house down. It’s a level of excitement I felt when 20th Century Fox announced they were finally making a Deadpool movie. 

Yeah. That excited.

Destroy All Humans was my favourite video game series growing up. I played the first two games non-stop on my PS2 and I even bought a Nintendo Wii and PS3 just so I could play Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon (yeah, we’ll get to them). Unfortunately, while the series was reasonably successful, it never quite broke through into the mainstream, and it ended up having a very short lifespan, making it one of the most underrated franchises of all time.

So, to mark the return of Crypto and Pox, I thought I’d take a retrospective look at the series as a whole. Analysing each game in the franchise and talking about what made them so good, whilst also looking at how it faded into obscurity and how THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games can hopefully avoid this fate with their remake.

Radioactive, Exploding, Zombie Cows

The first Destroy All Humans was developed by THQ and Pandemic Studios (the latter probably most famous for making the original Star Wars Battlefront games. You know? The good ones that weren’t overloaded with loot boxes and microtransactions) and was released in 2005 on the PS2 and Xbox. You play as a Furon warrior called Cryptosporidium 137, or Crypto for short, who is tasked with harvesting the brains of humans in order to extract pure Furon DNA from them. His leader Orthopox 13, or Pox, explains that the Furons are at risk of cloning themselves into extinction as they are unable to reproduce naturally due to a lack of genitalia and the DNA in their cloning banks are starting to degrade. Fortunately the Furons visited prehistoric Earth on their way back from destroying the Martians and took the opportunity to ‘let off some steam’ with the natives. As a result, humans possess a strand of Furon DNA that can hopefully restore the Furons’ reproductive organs. Unfortunately a secret government organisation called Majestic (a sort of cross between Project Blue Book and the Men in Black) have caught wind of the Furon invasion due to Crypto 136 crash landing in Roswell 10 years earlier. So Crypto 137 will have to be extra cautious in his quest to take over Earth.

The game was released four years after Grand Theft Auto III, which had completely revolutionised gaming with its open world sandbox. As a result, other companies were attempting their own open worlds and putting their own spin on them. While Destroy All Humans didn’t quite have the same scale as GTA, it made up for it with quality over quantity. The game offered six small open world areas for players to have fun in and its central premise was utterly captivating. After countless games where you had to fight alien invaders, Destroy All Humans allowed you to play as the alien invader.

Pandemic Studios completely embraced the alien invasion premise, giving the player a vast number of weapons and abilities to wreak havoc on planet Earth. You had access to weapons like the Zap O Matic, Disintegrator Ray and Anal Probe (no, really, there’s actually a gun called the Anal Probe and it’s as funny as it sounds) as well as mental abilities such as Psychokinesis, Hypnotism and the Cortex Scan, which allowed you to read the thoughts of humans and was also used to help maintain your Holoblob disguise in stealth missions. And if that isn’t cool enough, you also get your own flying saucer, which you can use to destroy buildings and landmarks. The game gave you a lot of freedom, essentially dropping you in a small destructible playground and telling you to go and enjoy yourself.

But the thing I loved most about the first game was the writing. The plot itself is actually pretty good with plenty of twists and turns as the military and Majestic become more and more desperate to stop you. And the humour, my God the humour! Honestly Destroy All Humans remains to this day one of the funniest games I’ve ever played. It’s use of satirical humour and 50s pop culture references never failed to make me chuckle. There was one moment that I’ll always remember where I scanned the mind of a police officer and it revealed that he was thinking about forming the Village People. If only he could find a cowboy, an Indian and a construction worker. 

The game’s main source of comedy mostly came from poking fun at the culture and attitudes of the time period. 1950s America was of course gripped by ‘the Red Scare,’ which the game mocks frequently as we see Majestic and the US government try desperately to cover up alien activity by blaming the death and destruction on communists, to the point where it just gets more and more absurd. At the end of each mission, a newspaper headline is shown, often blaming recent events on freak weather or communist propaganda. Yes, that should explain perfectly why people’s heads are exploding and why the cows are glowing green. It’s all perfectly normal. No aliens here. What’s that? A little green man in a flying saucer is blowing up ice cream trucks? Damn you commies!

The game also pokes fun at 50s sci-fi B movies, often parodying and lampshading the tropes and gimmicks one would expect in a low budget sci-fi flick. For example, the game ends with you fighting a giant robot that houses the President’s brain. It’s fully aware of how ridiculous and stupid it all is and clearly revels in it. Killer robots, mind control, radioactive animals, mad scientists and secret government conspiracies galore. Destroy All Humans is very much a love letter to cheesy sci-fi.

But by far the biggest draw was the main characters. Crypto and Pox. They’re both such funny, wonderfully realised and likeable characters. Pox is voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz, who you may remember from Invader Zim, and he gives the character a maniacal glee. I honestly could listen to his rants all day. He’s the quintessential evil genius. Crypto meanwhile is voiced by J. Grant Albrecht, who gives the character a Jack Nicholson-esque voice. Unlike Pox, Crypto is crass, crude and craves destruction, which often puts him at odds with Pox, who favours more subtle styles of invasion such as mind control. The two characters often bicker and squabble, which never fails to be entertaining, and yet there is an underlying respect and fondness for each other that helps ground the relationship. It’s the perfect double act.

Destroy All Humans was a good game, but does it still hold up? Well there are a few issues. Controls can be a bit clunky at times and missions can often get repetitive. Destroy x number of farmers. Collect x amount of DNA. That kind of thing. Also, annoyingly, there’s no checkpoints, which means if you die or fail the mission, you’re automatically sent back to the Furon Mothership and you have to start the mission all over again. But the writing, humour and entertainment value more than make up for it.

Hot Monkey Love

While the first game wasn’t what you’d call a hit, it was successful enough for THQ to commission a sequel. Destroy All Humans 2 was released in 2006 on PS2 and Xbox, just one year after the first game, and this time Crypto was going international.

Set in the 1960s, ten years after the events of the first game, the KGB in Russia learn about the Furon’s takeover of America and plan a counterattack. They nuke the Furon Mothership, killing Pox, and try to assassinate Crypto 138, who is posing as the President of the United States. The assassination fails and Pox’s mind is able to survive in hologram form. The two then embark on a global adventure, seeking revenge against the KGB and uncovering a massive conspiracy that puts the entire Furon invasion at risk.

Destroy All Humans 2 is an ambitious sequel that increases its scope from the first game. No longer confined to America, we see Crypto terrorise San Francisco, London, Tokyo, Russia and even the Moon. Our arsenal of weapons are also expanded. The original weapons from the first game return as well as some all new ones such as the Disclocator, which fires a purple disc at a human or vehicle and sends them flying around the map, the Burrow Beast, which summons a Tremors-esque space worm to cause carnage, and Meteor Strike, which I think speaks for itself. We also get a few new mental abilities such as Transmogrify, which allows you to turn objects into ammo, and Free Love, which causes everyone in the general vicinity to start dancing, allowing you to make a quick getaway while they’re distracted. The saucer too has some extra features, including a cloaking device and the ability to drain vehicles of health using your Abducto Beam.

This sequel pretty much takes everything that worked from the first game whilst tweaking the things that didn’t. The GTA style Alert system got a complete overhaul. If you want to raise or lower the Alert level, all you have to do is bodysnatch a cop or a soldier and make a call using a police box (you can also make prank calls from them, which is good for a giggle). Holoblobbing has been replaced with Bodysnatching, which works so much better and it does away with the annoying Concentration meter, so you can PK cars and humans to your heart’s content. There’s also a lot more stuff to do now. There are numerous collectables such as Alien Artefacts, which unlocks the Burrow Beast weapon, and FuroTech Cells, which are your main currency that can be used to upgrade your health and weapons. Missions have greater variety than in the first game. There’s a lot more side missions, including Odd Jobs and my personal favourites the Cult of Arkvoodle missions, where Crypto brainwashes humans to worship the Furon God Arkvoodle of the Sacred Crotch.

As you can tell, the humour is still just as wacky and ridiculous as ever. Destroy All Humans 2 lampoons and ridicules the 60s mercilessly, taking aim at the Cold War and the hippie counterculture movement. It also pokes fun at 60s sci-fi films, spy films and Japanese movies like Godzilla. In fact there’s a boss fight that involves you fighting a Godzilla-esque monster and it’s honestly the best boss fight in the series. It regains health by destroying buildings, so you have to destroy them first before you can kill the monster. It’s a great premise.

Story-wise, Destroy All Humans 2 is a worthy successor, raising the stakes and expanding the lore. We’re introduced to the Blisk, the Martians that were presumed extinct by the Furons millions of years ago. It’s a brilliant conflict and ostensibly allows the developers to make commentaries on America and Russia at the time using the Furons and the Blisk respectively as stand-ins. Crypto and Pox are well written, funny and likeable as ever and we’re also introduced to an assortment of new characters, including the Russian spy Natalya and MI6 agent Ponsomby (voiced by none other than Anthony Head from Buffy). The game is engaging and rewarding, but it crucially never takes itself too seriously. For example there’s one instance in Tokyo where Crypto learns about the battle between the White and Black Ninjas and he guesses that the conflict started because of the cliche student betraying his master type origin, but it turns out that both groups of ninjas were originally Grey, but then they ran out of grey fabric and disagreed over which colour they should be instead. There’s so many great comedic moments like that and they pretty much hit bullseyes every time.

That being said, there was one aspect of the game I didn’t like and that was the crude sex jokes. Crypto 138 is the first clone to have pure Furon DNA, which means he now has genitalia. As a result, this new incarnation of Crypto is far more randy than 137 was in the first game.  This mostly takes the form of Crypto constantly trying to hit on Natalya, despite her showing no sexual interest, which I personally found pretty gross. Worse still, the game ends with Crypto cloning Natalya and ‘making a few adjustments’ so she will consent to have sex with him. The word ‘creepy’ doesn’t begin to cover how I felt about this. If THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games ever decide to remake the second game, I really hope they consider rethinking that ending because... Jesus!

On the whole, Destroy All Humans 2 was a brilliant sequel. It was also sadly the last Destroy All Humans game to be developed by Pandemic Studios before they were bought by EA and eventually shut down in 2009. Unfortunately this would have a severe impact on the future of the series going forward.

Limp Willy

The next game in the series was a spinoff for the Nintendo Wii, released in early 2008 and developed by Locomotive Games. A PS2 version was also planned, but was scrapped due to budget cuts (remember this. It’ll become relevant later).

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed was... underwhelming, to say the least. Set in the 1970s, six years after the second game, Crypto and Pox have opened a fast food restaurant called Big Willy as a way of disposing of the corpses left behind during Crypto’s missions. However a rival fast food chain, run by Colonel Kluckin’, is stealing their business and socialite Patty Wurst is threatening to expose Big Willy (smirk). So it’s up to Crypto to protect Pox’s Big Willy (haha) and maintain their cover on Earth.

Now you’re probably thinking this sounds quite tame compared to the previous two games, and yeah, it is. But it’s a spinoff, so I can understand to a certain extent. However there are a few narrative discrepancies. The big one being Crypto has retired from being the President. No explanation given as to why and we have no idea what Crypto is doing instead. When we first see him, he’s watching TV. He doesn’t even know Big Willy exists until Pox brings it up. So what’s going on exactly? Are they still trying to invade Earth or have they gone native? Also, compared to the grand conspiracy stories of the previous games, Crypto protecting a fast food restaurant sounds a little beneath him.

Gameplay is virtually unchanged from the previous game. There’s some new guns such as Ball Lightning and the Zombie Gun, but nothing special. The biggest addition is Big Willy, the restaurant mascot that’s actually a Furon battle mech in disguise. It’s... fine. Not that much different from the Saucer really. We also get some new locations. Harbor City, Fairfield in Kentucky, Fantasy Atoll (a weak parody of Fantasy Island) and Vietmahl (a painfully obvious homage to Vietnam). None of these locations are particularly interesting however. There’s also a multiplayer mode, which... exists.

Honestly the game as a whole is just lacklustre. The story just isn’t as good as the first two games and the humour doesn’t have the same wit or intelligence. Most of the comedy surrounds the fact that Pox has called his restaurant Big Willy and isn’t entirely aware of the double entendre, which admittedly is funny for the first few missions, but by the time you’ve finished Harbor City and move on to Fairfield, the joke gets old real fast. There’s less of an effort to actually satirise the culture or films of the time, instead merely making 70s pop culture references without ever actually doing anything with it. It’s like the Family Guy school of comedy. Take Fantasy Atoll for instance. A pisstake of Fantasy Island, but instead of Mr. Roarke and Tatoo, we get Mr. Pork and Ratpoo. That’s the level of humour we’re talking about here.

What’s worse is that J. Grant Albrecht and Richard Steven Horwitz don’t return as Crypto and Pox. Sean Donnellan and Darryl Kurylo voice the characters instead and it’s just not the same. It doesn’t feel like Crypto and Pox. So from the very first cutscene, we’re already off on the wrong foot.

And then there’s a bunch of other stuff that I find really questionable. The most obvious being the revelation that Colonel Kluckin’ makes his chicken wings from the corpses of the Vietmahl (Vietnam) war, which just seems in very bad taste to me. If there is a satirical point being made here, I can’t find it for the life of me. There’s also some side missions where Crypto finds out that he and Natalya have a son, which goes absolutely nowhere and doesn’t feel like something that should be in a Destroy All Humans game.

Overall, Big Willy Unleashed was a massive dud meant to tide us over until Destroy All Humans 3 came out later in the year. Honestly the one aspect of it I thought had potential was the side missions involving Crypto and Pox being assessed by a Furon Efficiency Expert called Toxoplasma Gondii. Considering what happened in the second game, including the destruction of the Furon Mothership, the return of the Blisk and the Furon operation on Earth being jeoprodised, this could have been a great premise for a sequel.

Instead what we got was... 

Disco Inferno

Oh boy. Where do I begin?

Path Of The Furon was developed by THQ and Sandblast Games and released in December 2008 on the Xbox 360 in North America. The PS3 version was cancelled because Sandblast (and Locomotive Games) was closed down before development was finished due to THQ’s financial problems at the time. However the PS3 version was released in Europe and Australia, so either THQ got another studio to complete it or, more likely, they just released it in a broken, buggy state.

Fans really didn’t like this game, myself included, but before we go tearing it a new one, lets look at the few positives the game has. First off, J. Grant Albrecht and Richard Steven Horwitz return to voice Crypto and Pox, which is great. As a result, the original chemistry is back and they help salvage the game when the writing fails to deliver. There are a few cool new weapons, like the Black Hole Gun and the Venus Human Trap, which creates a giant man eating plant. The Saucer’s weapons have been tweaked, so now they affect the environment as well as destroy buildings. So if you fire your Death Ray at the ground, for example, you can create scorch marks. PK now has its own dedicated button, which means you can pick up and throw objects whilst using your guns simultaneously. There’s also the titular ‘Path Of Enlightenment,’ which upgrades your mental abilities significantly as well as allowing you to freeze time.

That’s the good stuff. The bad stuff is... pretty much everything else.

The humour is, again, quite poor. Rather than satirising 70s culture, the game continues to make references to 70s films like The Godfather and Star Wars, but not actually doing anything with them. Just making the reference. The writing as a whole is quite substandard as the plot pretty much recycles the plots of Destroy All Humans 2 and Big Willy Unleashed, except instead of the Big Willy restaurant, it’s the Space Dust casino and instead of the Blisk, it’s Nexosporidium warriors, who are basically Furon cyborgs. Things do threaten to get a bit interesting when Crypto and Pox discover someone has been manufacturing synthetic Furon DNA, but nothing ever really comes of it. Instead the game focuses mainly on the Master.

Ah yes. The Master.

In an attempt to recapture the magic of the second game, Path Of The Furon tries to spoof kung-fu movies just like how DAH 2 spoofed spy films. Unfortunately this leads us to a slew of unfunny gags, cultural appropriation and some of the worst racial stereotyping I think I’ve ever seen. The Master is a Furon who crashed on Earth a hundred years ago and embroiled himself in Eastern culture, enhancing his PK abilities. This is what he looks like:

YYYYeah.

Oh and if that’s not awkward enough, he also speaks in an over the top ‘ah so’ accent. It’s incredibly cringeworthy and made me want to crawl out of my body and hide in the darkest corner I could possibly find. How anyone involved in this game’s development could look at this deeply racist and downright embarrassing excuse for a character and think this was okay, I don’t know.

And before anyone tries to excuse it by saying that he has been living in China for a hundred years, so he’s bound to pick a few things up, please note that Nolan North is in this game playing the Furon Emperor Meningitis, who also has an over the top ‘ah so’ accent. Now I suppose some could argue that the game is satirising how Asian people were portrayed at the time, but if that’s what the game is going for, they’ve failed miserably. See, the problem with that argument is that replicating something doesn’t count as satire. By recreating over the top racist caricatures, you’re not making fun of them. If anything you’re just reinforcing them. The first game’s satire of the Red Scare worked so much better than this because there was an actual point behind it. It comments on how paranoid the people of the 50s were at the time by using Majestic to exploit the threat of communism in order to cover up alien activity, and everyone willingly buys into it because of that sheer paranoia. Now yes, admittedly the humour in Destroy All Humans isn’t the most sophisticated in the world, but it used to be a LOT better than this. Not only do I find the racial stereotyping in this game deeply offensive, it’s also frankly beneath this franchise. And it’s not just limited to the Chinese either. The final act takes us to the Furon homeworld (which was pretty underwhelming after four games worth of buildup) and we meet another Furon called Endometriosis whose only characteristics are that he has an Italian accent and wears a beret. It’s these broad strokes and general laziness that makes this game such a disappointing experience.

Path Of The Furon is subpar in every way imaginable. The writing, the humour, the gameplay and even the graphics. The first two games looked so much better than this and they were on older consoles from the previous generation. It’s shocking.

It’s hard to blame Sandblast Games for this considering they were shut down before development was finished. It was THQ’s mismanagement and financial woes that killed off this franchise and indeed themselves. The company went bankrupt in 2012 and their various IPs were sold off to other studios, with Nordic Games buying the lions’ share, including Destroy All Humans, which briefly reignited hopes that we might get another game, but that seemed unlikely considering the franchise has never exactly been a mainstream success. There was even talks of doing an animated sitcom based on the games for Fox, to be written by the same guy who did King Of The Hill, but that never went anywhere.

No. It seemed like Destroy All Humans was gone for good and fans reluctantly made peace with that. It was fun while it lasted, but perhaps it was time to move on.

Oh The Furonity!

I’m not going to lie. I was pretty sure we were never going to see Destroy All Humans return. Not just because of its lack of mainstream appeal, but also because game development studios and publishers in recent years have become more and more reluctant to make single player, mid-tier games. Instead pivoting toward massive triple A releases and ‘live services’. So it came as a rather pleasant surprise when Nordic Games, now named THQ Nordic, released Darksiders III in 2018, a sequel to a series of games that were also not very mainstream but still had a significant cult following. This briefly reignited a small flicker of hope within me that maybe, just maybe, we might see our favourite Furon return.

And as you already know, I got my wish. A new Destroy All Humans game will be released next year by THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games.

So what can this remake learn from the franchise’s past? Well thankfully the writing and voice acting is going to remain the same, so story, characterisation and humour won’t be an issue. They’re also incorporating elements from the sequels such as Transmogrify from Destroy All Humans 2 and giving PK its own button like in Path Of The Furon. There’s also a few new additions that I’m excited about such as the ability to dodge and strafe using the jetpack. That should make combat much more exciting and dynamic. I know a few people have a problem with the new cartoony designs of the humans and the world, but I honestly don’t mind. In fact I think it suits the tone and setting quite well. Hopefully people will eventually get used to it. The big question mark hovering over all this is whether they’re planning to remake the other games in the series. I for one would love to see a remake of the second game. As for Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon, I think it’s best to leave them firmly in the past. The big dream would be to see Crypto and Pox have further adventures together beyond the first two games. Hopefully even have enough sequels to get the characters to the present day. We’ll just have to wait and see what the future brings. My only word of advice for them would be to never forget what made the first two games so good and so beloved. Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon lost their way, as its writing and humour grew lazier and lazier. If we are fortunate enough to get more games, the developers will need to remember what it was about the first game that made it so special and build off of it.

This is a second chance. Not a lot of franchises get this. Don’t waste it. Here’s hoping the remake will provide the definitive Destroy All Humans experience and that it will gain the success it deserves.

[jamesashtonisbae]

The Freshman Series Ch. 4

Word Count: 3,829

Pairing: James x MC

Rating: M

Warnings: Language, mentions sex

Summary: Ch.4 of Book 1 of The Freshman by PB.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to pixelberry studios.  A lot of dialogue is from PB.  I will change the storyline a bit when things are out of character for people, particularly Lacey and James. 

Ch. 4

Lacey rushed up to her room to change her clothes, pulling on a pair of leggings and a loose, long-sleeved Hartfeld Knights Women’s Basketball t-shirt.  It made her a little sad to think about how her career was over.  She shook out the memory from coming back up, and rushed back downstairs.  She ran into Chris right outside of her room.  He pulled her into a hug, wordlessly.  She felt his emotion seeping through her.  She could tell that he liked her, and that the night before was not just a casual thing for him.  But she didn’t feel the same things.  She didn’t want him like that anymore.  Last night, she had wanted him physically, maybe even emotionally.  And then, when she was faced with leaving, she pushed him out of her head, insisting that she needed to focus on staying.  Which she did, she really did.  And she was going to have to work really hard to keep her spot here, now knowing what it would take with Professor Vasquez.  But then, she met James.  And every other man to have ever existed in the history of the world didn’t matter.  And she felt horribly.  Chris deserved so much better.  And not her. She couldn’t give him what he was asking for in this hug.  And then there was Becca.  She wanted Chris.  And she seemed to get what she wanted.  So maybe it wouldn’t even matter that Lacey was solely interested in James.

 She pulled away, offered Chris a soft smile, and ran back to the kitchen, shouting, “Let’s get going!  It’s 9:00 pm and we don’t have a moment to lose!”

Soon, the only sounds were computer keys clacking, coffee mugs clanking, and pages shuffling.  Occasionally, someone would cough, or sneeze, or get up to refill on coffee.  But otherwise, it was quiet.  

 As Lacey typed, she found her mind wandering to this quarter of school.  She had never really been away from her home in Boston for more than just a vacation, and she didn’t know if she would get homesick.  Her parents were wonderful, Stephen and Maureen made sure to shower her with love and give her any opportunity to make something of herself. They had sent her to every basketball camp, found her every tutor if she needed one, given her all the freedom in the world when it came to friends and boys and experiences, and she knew that were it not for them she would not have made it to Hartfeld at all.  Financially, she knew things were tough for her family growing up, but she didn’t realize how tough until her father lost his job. With a sigh, Lacey shook herself from her thoughts and continued mindlessly typing.

 "Okay!  Quick check-in.  How many pages has everyone finished?" Lacey asked, approximately an hour later.

 "Eight!" Chris exclaimed.

 "Twelve!" Zack said with a smile, continuing to type.

 "Thirty!" Abbie said, typing furiously.

 "Thirty?" Tyler asked, a bit in awe.

 "What can I say?  I spend a lot of time online,” Abbie said with a smile.  Tyler chuckled, very clearly impressed with Abbie.  Lacey was excited to watch the two of them get to know each other better. They were both such kind, interesting people, and Lacey was not entirely sure she could have found better friends. Abbie seemed to just understand her from their one conversation from the day before.  Lacey could tell Abbie was going to be one of her closest friends.

 "Okay... time to really concentrate and do this!" Lacey grinned, typing out almost fifty pages in a couple hours.

 Chris got up from his computer to stretch and looked over Lacey’s shoulder to check on her progress.  He set his hands on her shoulders as they talked.

 "Wow... you're getting a lot done,” Chris said, massaging lightly as she continued to type.  Lacey bit the inside of her cheek, knowing at some point, she’d have to have a conversation with Chris that she really didn’t want to have.  But he deserved her honesty at the very least.  

 "Let's just say I'm highly motivated,” Lacey said, never breaking stride.

 "And why's that?" Chris gave her shoulders a soft squeeze.

 "I want to stay because I need an education!  I need to get a degree!  I need a life!  I can't end up like my cousin Hanna, living in her parents’ basement, with two maxed-out credit cards and a serious addiction to vintage Hello Kitty merchandise!” Lacey yelled, exasperated!  It didn’t hurt that she wanted to see James.  And spend time with him, getting to know him.  But now was not the time to have that conversation with Chris.

 "Don't worry.  You're not going anywhere.  We won't let that happen,” Chris said with a smile and one final squeeze of her arm.

 As Chris headed back to his laptop in the next room, Kaitlyn and Abbie sidled up to Lacey.  She let out a sigh, knowing that she was about to be interrogated about what had just happened with Chris.

 "Okay... time to dish.  What's the latest on you and Chris?" Katelyn asked with a grin, elbowing Lacey while Abbie stood next to her, chin tilted up at Lacey curiously.

 "What are you talking about?" Lacey asked incredulously.

 "Don't play dumb.  I know you two stayed behind last night..." Kaitlyn nudged her.

 "Stop pressuring her, Kaitlyn.  They were probably just talking... Plus, Lacey would never be reckless enough to date someone in the house, right?" Abbie asked.

 "To be honest, he’s just a friend,” Lacey answered them.  Not a lie.

 "Huh.  I thought for sure you two would connect..." Kaitlyn said, confused.  If only she knew the actual truth.  She didn’t want to talk about her sleeping with Chris while she needed to focus on finishing this project for Vasquez.

 "I'm just glad to hear this suite is staying drama-free,” Abbie said.  Lacey was not interested in it staying drama-free.  She didn’t really care, but hoped Chris would respond in a non-dramatic fashion as well.  Abbie would freak out if she knew the truth.

 "Anyway, we should get back to work!" Lacey quickly changed the subject.

 "You're the boss..." Kaitlyn said, still seemingly unconvinced about Lacey and Chris.

 Lacey turned back to her computer and continued to type.  At midnight, she looked at the time, "Looks like we're ahead of schedule.  We're almost a third of the way through!"

 "But we just hit a serious emergency: the coffee maker is fried!" Kaitlyn cried.

 "What?!" Abbie pulled herself away from typing to gape at the counter.

 "Game over, man!  We're doomed!" Tyler flopped over on his laptop.

 "Not if I can help it!  It just so happens that the campus coffee shop is only a short walk away from our dorm!  Even better, the barista is a total babe.  His name is Brandon, and he basically looks like he was carved by Michelangelo... Please, please come with me, Lacey!  You can be my wing-girl!  Plus we'll get enough coffee to keep everyone awake and typing!" Zack pulled on her arm.

 "Please go with him Lacey!  We need that coffee, and if Zack goes on his own, he'll spend all night working up the courage to talk to Brandon!" Tyler smiled over at her, teasing.

 "Okay, okay, I'm in!" Lacey said, grabbing a light gray jacket.

 "That's my girl!" Zack smiled, tugging her arm.

 They hustled over to the coffee shop, Lacey was hoping it would be a quick visit.  But also knew it would not be a quick trip.

 “I totally owe you one, Lacey!  I know I talk a big game... But under all of this steely confidence is the heart of a tiny, scared mouse,” Zack said, smiling softly at Lacey.

 "Somehow I have trouble believing that,” Lacey laughed at her energetic roommate becoming shy.

 "There he is!  Just look at him.  The hottest thing around here isn't the coffee,” Zack was smitten, and it was adorable.

 "Dude, Brandon is a total smokeshow,” Lacey said, looking over at the tall brown-haired guy standing behind the counter. He looked really nice, and was definitely really cute.

 "Tell me something I don't know,” Zack licked his lips, looking over at Lacey to shoot her a wink.

 Zack looked over at Brandon again. "Ah!  Panic is setting in!  What if he's not into me? What if he's not even single?  What if he isn't into guys?" 

 "I guess... asking him would be a good start?" Lacey said softly, nudging him towards the counter.

 "Great idea!  I need you to go get some intel!  I'll wait at that table WAY over there!" Zack pointed to a table near where James was sitting, writing.

 Lacey hadn’t even noticed him, and called out, “James!  Hey!” as soon as she saw him.  He waved over at Lacey, and Lacey smiled and waved back.

 Zack speed walked to a table at the back of the shop as Lacey reached the front of the line and came face to face with Brandon.

 "Everything okay?  Your friend took off in a hurry..." Brandon said, gesturing to where Zack was sitting in the back.

 "I think he just gets nervous..." Lacey said, smiling softly at Brandon, “just six large coffees please.”

 "I've seen him hanging out a few times.  What's his story?" Brandon asked, getting started on their coffee.

 "Zack?  He's the funniest guy you'll ever meet,” Lacey chuckled at how great she thought Zack actually was.  There wasn’t much she wouldn’t say as an endorsement of her friend, but he was funny.  Very funny.

 "So he's funny and cute?" Brandon said, sounding like he wished he was flirting with Zack.  Not through Lacey.

 "Oh yeah, and did I mention single?" Lacey smirked.

 "Now you did."

 "That actually reminds me of something I wanted to ask you...  Do you have a boyfriend?" Lacey asked, her smirk still plastered on her face.

 "Somehow I don't think you're the one who wants to ask me that.  You can tell your friend that he should come talk to me himself... And that I'm into shy guys,” Brandon smiled.

 After ordering coffee for the roommates, Lacey headed back to Zack’s table, which was conveniently right next to where James was sitting.  She planned to stop by James’s table first to at least say hi, but Zack had other plans.

 "So... what did he say?" Zack asked, not even letting Lacey say hello to James.

 "Sounds like he's actually married to a nice girl..." Lacey shrugged, glancing back at James, who had his eyes on her as she conversed with Zack.  James grinned softly in her direction, and Lacey gave him a flirty wave.

 "What?!" Zack exclaimed, eyes wide.

 "Relax!  I'm just kidding.  He seems into you.  You should go talk to him,” Lacey gestured towards the counter.

 After working up some courage, Zack finally walked over to Brandon.  Lacey turned to sit down next to James and smiled again, “Hi.  How are you doing, James?”

 “Doing well.  How about you Lacey?  Is the project going well?”

 Lacey laughed, and James grinned over at her knowingly, “That good, huh?”

 “Well, I got my roommates to help out.  And so we’re just about done.  I think it’s going to get finished.  I think I’m going to get to stay here.  Which is great, because when I woke up I was not entirely sure I would be able to start a four year education this year.”

 James laughed, then sobered when he realized Lacey wasn’t joking, “Just so you know Lacey, working for Vasquez is not going to be a walk in the park after you finish this one.  But it will be rewarding.  He’s wise, and he knows what he’s doing, Lacey.  You’re in really good hands.  And I’ll be there, so we could hang out.  You could maybe give me feedback on my play…”

 “Why do you trust me to give you feedback? You don’t know anything about me. What if I’m illiterate, or an idiot?”

 “Well,” he began, looking over at her softly, “the way you inhabited Elizabeth, even when you were just reading it, made me visualize what this play will actually be like when actors are reading lines and bringing it to life.  You were exactly what I envisioned.  I kind of had thought about giving up on it, and then today, I saw you.  Seeing what it could be, it inspired me to keep going.”

 She laughed, “Oh, wait, you’re serious.  You are inspired.  By me.  James, you can’t be serious.  You know that you are brilliant.  I loved reading what you wrote.  It’s beautiful.  And I’m happy to read the rest of it and give you feedback if you think it would help. But please know that I don’t think you do.”

 “Thank you, Lacey.  I haven’t really let anyone but Vasquez read it yet.  So, um, I’d appreciate your feedback.  I’m hoping you will stick around.”

 Their eyes met over the coffee table.  She grinned nervously.  He was looking at her in a way she’d never been looked at before. He was looking at her like, like she was his muse.  And she knew in that moment she was done for.  He had her.

 Suddenly, Zack was standing in front of the table, drawing Lacey’s eyes away from James’s.

 "So? How'd it go?" Lacey asked with a grin, shaking herself out of the trance James had put her in.

 "Terrible,” Zack sighed.

 "Really?  You guys were chatting for like ten minutes!" Lacey exclaimed, assuming that it had only been that long.  She felt like she’d been speaking with James for three seconds and three hours all at once.

 "Yeah... and then I ordered another coffee and said goodbye.  I didn't even get his number!" Zack sighed, again.

 "Wait a second... look at your cup!" Lacey smiled, turning it towards Zack.

 "Brandon wrote his number!" Zack exclaimed.

 "And a winky face!" Lacey winked at him.

 Zack threw his arms around Lacey, "Best.  Wing girl.  Ever.  I'm never leaving home without you again."

 “Aww, Zack!  This is so exciting!  I’m so happy for you!” she hugged him back, “Now we need to go finish this assignment!”

 “Wait, Lacey!  Umm, when will I hang out with you again?” James asked Lacey, getting up and walking with her to the door.

 “Oh, umm.  I should be in the office early tomorrow morning to drop this off.  If you’re there, I’ll see you then!” Lacey could almost swear that he was as excited to spend time with her as she was with him.  She couldn’t tell yet, but she thought that there was at least a miniscule possibility that he liked her and wanted to spend time with her in a ‘more than friends’ capacity.  And she absolutely would not mind if that were true.

 James smiled, “Great.  See you in a couple of hours.”

 She walked out of the coffee shop, giddy. Then the giddiness disappeared when she realized what time it was.  A sense of determination replaced it.

 "...and here's a double-espresso for my favorite football star," Zack handed out all of the coffee when they had arrived back at the suite.

 "I assume you're talking about me,” Tyler joked.

 "Very funny.  Now hand over that cup.  I can barely keep my eyes open,” Chris grabbed the cup, glancing at Lacey and smiling.

 "By the way, I owe you big time.  Anytime you need a wingman, I'm at your disposal,” Zack hugged her again.

 "I may take you up on that.  But for now, what I really need is for you to type your heart out.  Let's keep pushing everyone!" Lacey said, grabbing her laptop and beginning to type quickly.

 At 4:00 AM, Lacey headed to the kitchen for a quick break and found herself alone with Chris.

 "Hey... we haven't really had a chance to talk about last night,” Chris murmured, grazing his fingers over her arm.

 "Yeah... that was really... fun?" Lacey said, trying to figure out how to let him know that she didn’t want to do it again.

 "Yeah it was.  I... I don't usually do stuff like that,” Chris laughed.

 Lacey raised her eyebrows at him, "Well, I do. I mean, casual sex is just casual sex."

 He shifted awkwardly, "So, ummm, what happens now?"

 "Chris, it was just a casual thing.  I'm just, I don't know.  This doesn't feel right to me.  I’m really only interested in being friends,” Lacey looked down, then dared to look back up at him again.  He looked hurt.  Lacey felt so badly.  But he did say he wasn’t ready for something serious.  And he didn’t seem like the type of guy who would want a casual relationship.  But looking at how hurt he was, she wasn’t sure if she should have gone a different route. No, honesty was the best policy. She stood by her choice.

 "I... I understand.  And... I already told you about Nicole and everything.  I'm still sorting out a lot of my own feelings,” Chris was still running his fingers over her arm.

 "I totally get it.  There's so much up in the air right now... for both of us.  At this point, I'm not even sure if I'll be able to stay in school.  It’s just not right.”

 "No worries.  I... I'm gonna head back to get some more work done, okay?" Chris squeezed her arm.

 "Talk to you soon..." Lacey sighed, running her hand over her face in distress as Chris walked away.

 "Hey... everything okay?" Zack asked, concerned.

 "Yep!  Just uh... psyching myself up to get back to work!" Lacey smiled.

 "Right on!  Time for one last push!" Zack cracked his knuckles getting ready to type again.

 Finally, it was 7:30 AM and Lacey wearily flipped the page she was on, seeing nothing, "That's... that's the last page!"

 "We did it!" Kaitlyn exclaimed.

 "Group hug!" Zack shouted.

 "Okay.  One hug.  Then I'm headed to bed.  But... good luck, Lacey.  I hope you get to stay here,” Abbie gripped Lacey’s waist exhaustedly.

 "Me too..." Lacey smiled, “thanks,” she whispered to Abbie.

 After the group hug, Lacey rushed upstairs, fixed her makeup, and pulled on a pair of nice dark jeans and a floral tank with a navy cardigan over it.  Hopefully, James would be in when she took in the digital copy of his book.  And hopefully Vasquez wasn’t as anal about floral prints as he was about stripes.

 She entered with a knock and smiled over at Vasquez, “Good morning, Professor Vasquez.  Here’s the flash drive with the digital copy on it.”

 She set it down and he didn’t respond.  James entered with three cups of coffee, handing one to Lacey and putting one on the desk for Vasquez.  He grabbed the coffee first, then the flash drive.

 Lacey and James sat down at the table, talking softly while Vasquez read and commented on it aloud.  She was half listening to Vasquez, and half getting lost in James’s mocha eyes.

 “So, you nervous for your first day?”

 Lacey laughed, then responded, “If I can handle this assignment from Vasquez, I think I’m going to be fine with this whole college thing.”

 James offered a chuckle and met her eyes, “You may be right.  Vasquez is going to be much more difficult than a lot of professors who work here. Regardless of their department.”

 “If I make it past today, I honestly am not too concerned about the rest of the year.”

 “What’s the rest of your day look like?”

 “Probably an early morning nap, then I’ll keep myself awake until a normal bedtime so last night doesn’t completely fuck up my sleep schedule.  Gotta be ready for my first day.”

 Lacey and James were interrupted by Vasquez finishing his check, "Let's see here... better spot check a couple of scenes... no typos so far... Congratulations.  You completed your task.  The manuscript looks... adequate."

 "Adequate?  Thank you,” Lacey had drawn her eyes away from James.

 "Well then.  Onto your project.  My new book is centered on a group of college students in the modern age...  And I need a firsthand account of what it's like to live that life.  Your actual first assignment is to write a detailed summary of everything that happened last night.  Was there any drama?  How did your friends react when you ensnared them in my little test?" Vasquez asked her, steepling his fingers as he looked at her eagerly.

 "So that was just a test?" Lacey asked, knowing she needed to breathe deep, and remember what James had told her about this not being a walk in the park.  He was what was going to keep her at Hartfeld.  She was going to get a degree.  She was going to get to know James better.  She wanted to stay.

 "Of course it was!  Now start writing up the details of the experience.  And when you're done with that, I've got your next assignment ready... One of the characters in my book is a football player.  I'll need you to go find out what that's like through some firsthand research."

 "I... do have one friend who's a football player, but..." Lacey reflected on how their conversation last night had gone. And how she wanted to avoid speaking with Chris at all costs.

 "But nothing!  I need you to go talk to him in-depth about his life!" Vasquez shooed her away, while also exiting himself.

 "After the talk I had with Chris last night, I--" Lacey was cut off.

 "Less complaining, more working.  Get to it!" Vasquez yelled back into the room.

 She looked over at James, her mouth open.

 “Who is Chris?” James asked.

 “He’s, ah, he’s one of my roommates.”

 “And he plays football?”

 Lacey nodded, not quite meeting his eyes.

 “That’s cool.  Should make this project easy.  You know where to find him at least.  When did Vasquez say it was due?”

 “Oh, ah, I don’t really know.  Should I assume it’s tomorrow?  Or should I email him?  Or should I…”

 “Maybe, you should just say that you talked to his TA, and his TA said that next Monday morning would work.”

 “Who’s his TA?  Is that you?”

 “Yes, it’s me.”

 “Oh, okay.  So I have a few days to get this written up.”

 “Yes, but don’t leave it until the night before. He’ll know.”

 “James…”

 “Yes Lacey.”

 “Will he really just fire me if I mess up?”

 James glanced over at her, “No, I know he needs you for this book he’s writing.  He’s a bit removed from the college girl perspective, and you’ve got it.  Plus, somehow, excitement seems to follow you. You’re going to have a lot to offer him. And I never wanted him to keep any of the others.  They weren’t good.  You, you need to stick around.  He was impressed.  I could tell. And, well, I like bantering with you, Lacey.  So I’ll do what I can to keep you around.”

[joonsjeon]

Muse 《Pt. 1》

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook Words: ~6000 Genre: Fluff, Smut (in Pt.2 ) Warnings: trigger warning since there is a bullying scene. nothing else.

《Pt. 1》《Pt. 2 》

“Well… now that you are here, why don’t we play a little game?” he suggested, something about his voice signaled that he was desperate to change the subject and then sat sideways on the bench to directly face you. After overcoming the hesitation in the back of your mind, you mimicked his movements. “Alright. What game?”

You stood in front of the school entrance, arms tightly wrapped around the books and folders in front of your chest and about to enter the building as you did day in day out when you suddenly heard someone shout your name from behind. 

The voice was familiar and belonged to nobody else than Kim Taehyung, the captain of the school's football team and basically every girl’s crush despite the very obvious fact that he was a jerk. However, you were not surprised at this kind of characteristic development considering that his father was successful enough to invest so much money into the school that they would never lay a finger on his beloved son, no matter how much trouble he got himself into. And sadly, this troublesome behavior included to lash out on people that were in a lower position than him to begin with, people like you. It wasn't that you were a nerd and therefore considered to be the regular bully choice… sometimes you simply were in the wrong place at the wrong time, an easy target for one of Taehyung’s mood swings because you were too weak to stand up for yourself.  Like this morning for example.

He walked right up to you, the rest of his crew around him like a pack of wolves blindly following their alpha’s orders and all laughing at their new-found victim. Usually, you just endured these situations knowing that none of them were going to seriously harm you. They joked around and threw some of your stuff to the ground to make themselves feel better, which was so pathetic that sometimes you even felt pity...

He and his gang stood in front of you now, dumb smirks plastered on their faces and arms crossed while looking down on you. 

"Look who we have here." Taehyung scoffed, eyeing you up and down one more time before his dark orbs landed on the school stuff in your arms. He reached out fast, too fast for you to react, and randomly ripped something out of your hands with such force that everything else scattered to the ground along with it. Even when you normally didn't care about them taking your things, as they would give it back by the end of it anyway, it was very different this time. Now, that he had your art folder in-between his fingers, waving it around as you had quickly kneeled down to pick up the rest. You hated when people saw your drawings. This folder was like an open book full of instructions about your thoughts and imaginations and out of all the people he had to be the one to see it all. For exactly that reason you barely ever brought it with you to school and stuck with drawing at home. If only you would have stuck with that routine today…

"A sketchbook?" he asked in disbelief like you said most people didn't know about your secret hobby. "Let's have a look, shall we?" 

"Please don't," you whined and sprung up trying to get ahold of your belongings, but it was a useless attempt when he held it up high above his head since you were way shorter than him anyway. He enjoyed your reaction, feeling superior to you was all he wanted and you could have punched yourself for basically fueling his actions further by giving him exactly what he wanted.

"What kind of embarrassing secrets are in here?" he teased, taking his sweet time to unclasp the elastic that kept the folder closed. Maybe they wouldn't dig in too deep, you thought. 

He carelessly flipped through the pages to let fate decide which of your drawings would pop up first and of course, the odds were not at all in your favor. Out of all the things he could have seen it had to be the drawings of a certain someone, another student who was far from being unknown if not quite the opposite. And apparently, your drawings were decent enough that everyone instantly recognized the features of said persons handsome face. At least that was somewhat of a compliment.

"That's a creepy way of dealing with your crush on someone." one of his minions chuckled, you believed his name was Park Jimin, another member of the football team and as the others around him started to laugh at his stupid comment you could almost visualize his already huge ego growing a little further. "Does he know these exist? Or did you memorize his face first?" somebody else spat out. While they still thought they were being the funniest people on earth all you did was stand there completely embarrassed, waiting for their fucking show to be over. But what else was there to do?

"That was a question, (Y/N). Answer. Does he know?" Taehyung spoke up again, rapidly closing the folder with a snap as he stepped forward, intentionally crossing the invisible line that marked your personal space to make you feel even more uncomfortable. "Or do you want me to show him these?" he continued, smirking while putting the folder within your reach, but you didn't even try to grab it because you already knew he would snatch it right back.

"I don't have a crush on him." you mumbled, your voice nothing more than a faint whisper, yet you somehow still managed to look him right in the eyes while doing so. This was the closest you had ever gotten to standing up for yourself. He scoffed once again, raising an eyebrow at you. "Yeah sure that's why you have so many drawings of him, freak." 

You really wanted to say something, wanted to defend yourself at least once in your lifetime and not only you but scold him for everything he had ever done to anybody. The shy girl you naturally were, however, nothing came out. What were you supposed to say anyway? He wouldn't listen, heck he wouldn't care about any of your words. 

"It's enough Tae." Out of the blue, another voice interrupted the situation, stepping closer with each word until you could feel the sheer presence of that somebody without looking to your right. Taehyung snapped his head to the side where he was standing. He, the one who the whole thing was about now.

"Are you protecting your fangirls now, Jungkook?" Taehyung snapped and turned away from you completely, straightening his back as if he was ready to pick a fight at any given moment. For a split second, you wondered what happened this morning that he was so desperately trying to get into trouble again like he needed the attention he would not get otherwise. His life might have been the saddest one out of all your lives.

"I said it's enough, douchebag." Jungkook repeated, clearly annoyed that he had to deal with such things that early in the morning. Before another word was said, he pointed at you and wordlessly demanded him to give you your drawings back. Of course, he didn't listen the first time and just stared at his new opponent. You didn’t expect it would happen but as Jungkook repeatedly pointed his finger at you Taehyung suddenly gave in, reluctantly pressing the folder back into your hands. There was no reason for him to give up, at least none that you knew off, but weirdly you had seen the defeat written all over Taehyung’s face without Jungkook doing much at all.

"Screw you." he hissed and if looks could kill, both you and Jungkook would have died the exact same second. You heard the ring of the bell in the distance, signaling that school had officially started and yet you didn't move a muscle. With a trace of fear in your mind, you wondered if Jungkook had seen any of your drawings and jumped in to save you because of them? There really was no other explanation. Though he did not seem to care about this whole thing, or you, for a second longer, as he turned away without another word and started to walk off. He was known to skip classes on a regular basis while easily getting away with it, but as a matter of fact, you knew that normally he would not skip the first class this day of the week. You knew because it was the only class you had together, the class where you had found the time to draw him and his gorgeous profile the many times it caught your eye. What is he doing?  

"Thank you." you blurted out before your opportunity to say something was gone and at the sound of your words he quickly stopped, looked at you over his shoulder and replied with an unconcerned "Don't mention it." before walking on.

You were not one to be naturally curious, however, it had definitely sparked your interest why he would suddenly skip the one class he had never skipped before. Should you dare follow him? There was a very small timeframe for you to make a decision, nothing but a couple of seconds that would not allow weighing the options you had. This was about your gut and it told you to go.

After sprinting a little closer to him again you asked, "Where are you going?" unsure if he would answer you at all. His eyes landed on you again now that you were walking right next to him and by the look on his face, he was trying to figure out why you were still here with him. Then you realized that you didn't quite know why either. 

"I'll go anywhere that isn't this shithole of a school. You should get to class." he said, still not really paying attention to your presence and rather focused on making sure that you wouldn't stay by his side for much longer. But you wouldn't simply take his demands, it wasn’t like he was a friend you would listen to.

"Are you telling me what to do?" you shot back at him and continued to walk by his side, trying to act like you weren't intimidated by his bossy attitude when in reality you totally were. While he was clearly thrown off by your snappy response, even you yourself had been surprised to have words like these slip out of you, he also suddenly found interest in you. At least that was what it seemed like as he had a faint smile appearing on his face.

"You have never ditched an hour of school in your life, (Y/N)." he chuckled, now walking off the school ground and onto a small pathway that led right to the woods close by. His statement was correct, but what really threw you off was the fact that he knew your name… even when that could usually be expected from somebody you had a class with. How could one of the most beloved people in school know a no-name like you?

"Last chance. If you keep following me I won't let you run off for the rest of the day." he jokingly said and looked at you again. Somehow the offer was very tempting. Not only skipping school this one time in your life but skipping it with him. The thought was so surreal that you were on the brink of pinching yourself to check if all this was reality and not just a dream.  

"Everyone should experience this at least once, right?" you mumbled still unsure if you had made the right decision just then because if your parents would ever find out you sure were in big trouble…

"Don't you dare blaming me for it later." 

You tried to store away the stuff you were carrying in your arms into your already full backpack as best as you could while still trying to keep up with the relatively quick pace he set. The only thing you kept in your hand was the sketchbook because you wouldn’t take the risk of it crumbling.

Without talking a whole lot, the two of you followed the path. That said, you were rather following him than the path itself because no doubt if he were to abandon you now you would be kind of lost. Where is he even going? Afraid of annoying him with your questions you kept quiet and simply astonished this dreamlike moment for the tenth time. It was one of these moments where on one side you would love to step back, sit down and think deeply about just how lucky you were, on the other side however you knew that if you would, in fact, sit down and think about it, the thoughts would only ruin the magic of it all. It took at least another twenty minutes before you arrived at a small glade within the woods that you didn’t even know existed. And from the bewildered looks of it, you guessed that a lot of other people had forgotten that it was here as well. A small pond was in the middle of it all with just a tiny bit of sunlight making it through the treetops to create a slightly gloomy yet beautiful atmosphere. However, as much as you appreciated that he had shown you this gorgeous piece of nature you could not shake the feeling that it was wrong for you to be here. This place seemed to be a retreat for him. Why would he ever bring you here, a stranger? It made you feel like you were invading his private life, something you weren't meant to be a part of. 

He on the other side did not seem to care. You arrived at this place and he instantly went for the one bench that still looked stable enough to hold the weight of two people. When he realized that you weren’t moving, still convinced on the inside that it was best for you to leave right now, he looked you in the eyes from the distance and patted on the empty space next to him.

I guess he really meant that he wouldn’t let me run off…

While walking here you had already felt a little awkward to be around him, but at least back then you could keep yourself busy with the simple task of walking. Now, that you sat on this bench together with nothing to do and no other people around you, the awkwardness only got stronger, heavily sitting on your shoulders in order to press any kind of small talk out of you.

“How come the guys listened to you… aren’t you younger than them?” you shyly asked for the pure purpose of breaking the silence that had been driving you insane with every minute that passed, but also because you had asked yourself that question a few times ever since the whole scene in front of the school happened. He started bobbing one leg, whether it was out of nervousness or out of habit, you couldn’t tell.  

“Our parents are friends, I guess? His father works for my Dad and Tae knows that I would tell him if he does anything stupid.” He explained with a calm voice, sounding very different from the way he did before. By trying to start a lighthearted conversation you had apparently hit an open wound of his with your very first question. Inside you were shaking your head at yourself, only you could drop a brick like that. Despite feeling a little stupid you tried to play the situation as cool as you possibly could.

“And are you friends with him?” you kept asking because as inappropriate as it seemed, you could not deny that you were rather interested in hearing more about the boy you had been secretly admiring for some time now. Not admiring as in having a crush but just wondering what it was about him that got everybody so easily wrapped around his finger. Life seemed easy for him, like nothing but a game.

“We used to be.” He said and stared off into the distance. “But he changed.”

Even though he wasn’t looking at you, you nodded. It was obvious that Taehyung must have changed throughout the years since there was no way that a human would be this bitter his whole life. As a matter of fact, you yourself knew he wasn’t always like that.

Something or someone made him be that way.

“And why are you part of the equation?” He suddenly asked back and now had his eyes locked on yours like he had done before. It took you by surprise, him looking at you so directly was no longer uncomfortable but just strange. You never even expected him to notice you and yet you sat here on a school morning, skipping the first period.

“Me? I’m nobody. Just an easy target when he needs it.” You mumbled, he kept his eyes on you for a little while longer and then turned away with a small nod, he had thought of something and you would have given everything to know what.

“Well… now that you are here, why don’t we play a little game?” he suggested, something about his voice signaled that he was desperate to change the subject and then sat sideways on the bench to directly face you. After overcoming the hesitation in the back of your mind, you mimicked his movements.

“Alright. What game?”

“Two truths and one lie. The name is self-explanatory, we need to guess which of the other’s statements are truths and which is the lie.”

“Got it. You start.” You said and waited for him to come up with something and after a few seconds of thinking he slightly tilted his head to the side and started talking. There was no way he had come up with three statements in such a short period of time which indicated that he had been thinking about them for a while now. Maybe on the way here. Either way, it meant that he clearly had specific intentions while playing this game with you.

“So, firstly, I’m really into working out and I do it almost every day of the week.” He started and kept on looking at you while you waited for any sign of his that would have indicated a lie. Either he knew very well how to play this game or he did tell the truth, since not a muscle flinched in his whole body as these words left his mouth. You supposed the latter and took the first statement as a truth.

“Second, I dislike dogs. Guess I’m just more of a cat person, you know? And finally, I was born in Busan and moved here only a few years ago at age 15 because of my father’s job. What is the lie, (Y/N)?” he finished off with a small smile on his face, satisfied with the round even though he had made it fairly easy or at least you thought so. You didn’t need to think too much about your answers.

“I’ve seen you with a sports bag after school so it’s likely that you went to work out. It’s the truth.” Was the first thing you said and he raised an eyebrow at you in surprise, giving you a small nod to express that you were right about this one. So, you went on:

“Then, the likelihood of you moving from Busan to Seoul is higher than you being one of the very few human beings on earth that do not like dogs and if you are, we might have a problem. I will say the dog one is a lie.”

He laughed at your words, nodding yet again before mumbling “Not bad, (Y/N), really not bad.”

What really gave it away is your adorable Busan dialect…

you thought, lost in his deep brown eyes that you had never seen this up close until now. Actually, all of him seemed to be even more mesmerizingly gorgeous while sitting right next to him.

“Your turn now.”

Seeing that he had been somewhat impressed by your detective work gave you a small boost of confidence, but that lasted only for so long. Under normal circumstances, it was easy for you to figure out if people could read another person’s body language the way you did from time to time. When you met someone with the same abilities it was quite the funny encounter since it seemed like you were communicating in another language, always one step ahead of each other. However, he was not as much of an open book as you thought he was. The way he looked at you it could very well be that he had you all figured out already, but then there also was the possibility of you interpreting too much. The conclusion was, you had no idea how to go about this.

Maybe thinking about your answers wasn’t even the right approach, even if it was the one you would normally go for, it would take far too long. So even if it was hard, you chose the things that had popped up first, adding more details here and there until you were at least halfway satisfied with what you got prepared for him.  

“Alright so, I was actually born in Korea but spend most of my life in another country before coming back here.” Was the first thing you said and it was the truth. Your parents had lived in Korea before and you were even born here, but at the age of two and without a lot of memories they decided to move to your father’s home country again, at least for a few years before you came back here when he had gotten another job offer he just could not reject. It had been hard for you, obviously, but you appreciated the fact that you were able to see so much more of the world than most people did.

“I can play guitar very well, been learning it since I was a young teenager.” Was the second thing you said which was the lie, even if not a complete one. You had started to learn this instrument when you were younger and abandoned the thought of playing guitar a few weeks later when you realized just how much your fingers hurt alongside the fact that you were absolutely and terribly unmusical.

“And lastly, I never answer calls from unknown callers because it creeps me out like nothing else does.”

An easy one to round off my statements

. He had gone easy on you too, so it was only fair.

He took a minute to think about your words, looking around or directly at you while doing so before he swiftly reached out and grabbed your hand. His hands were colder than yours yet still felt soft. You were unsure of how to react and decided to just let it be, whatever his intentions were.  

“You are so very different from what I’ve expected you to be.” He mumbled and traced his fingers along the palm of your hand, examining it closely before locking his eyes on yours again with a confident smile. “But these hands do not look like you play guitar at all.”

“Oh so you don’t think I can play?” you tried saving your lie and he chuckled, shaking his head with the same confidence rooting inside him.

“At first, I thought you were lying about the Korea thing, but then I remembered that your English is fluent and completely accent-free compared to your Korean, which really isn’t, no offense.” He said, laughing at your faked hurt impression. It was nothing new that your Korean was far from being fluent since you had not grown up learning it as a second language but only ever since you moved here again. “Also, nobody likes unknown callers so that was a weak thing to say. To sum it all up, your hands are too soft and without any callus which you will get if you play guitar frequently.”

“Well, well. Not too bad yourself, are you?” you said, slowly pulling back your hand as it was still placed inside of his. You enjoyed the softness and warmth of his hand, but leaving it like that when you had known him, as in actually talked to him, for roughly an hour was not something you were going to do.

“Why, thank you. That was a fun game.” He replied, smiling at you yet again before he turned around, no longer facing you but now staring off into the distance like he had done before.

“So, (Y/N)…”

Turning around to face a different direction as well would have been the most natural thing to do, you figured. But on the other side you had never had the opportunity to see his face and his profile from up close like this and who knew when you would ever have that opportunity again. It was almost tempting to pull out a piece of paper along with a pencil and proceed with what you could do best – draw him.

However, he cut you off by saying your name, obviously trying to pick up the conversation again.

“I don’t quite believe you when you say that you are nobody. Why does Taehyung care about you?”

he suddenly asked, which now answered your question from before. He could read body language. He knew that you had been lying before.

“And why don’t you believe me?” you asked with a smirk, seeing that he himself had sensed your surprise and had an equal grin forming as the corners of his mouth lifted. He did not answer your question, just shot you a quick glance to signal he was, in fact, waiting for your answer first. As there was no longer a point in lying to him and even though you did not like talking about this at all, you decided to say what he wanted to hear, the truth.

“Maybe Taehyung was interested in me a while ago and still cannot handle my rejection.”

By the look on his face, this was not what he expected to hear as the reason behind Taehyungs ignorant behavior towards you. He probably figured that you had some kind of dark backstory with him, something that would go a little deeper than a high school crush.

“If he had a crush on you, were you friends with him before?” he asked on and again it confirmed that he paid a lot of attention to small details in a conversation. When you talked about this with other people barely anybody else concluded that you had to have a platonic relationship with Taehyung first for him to even develop a crush on you. You found yourself loving the discovery of this side of Jungkook a lot more than you should have and at the same time, it hit you: the reason why everybody loves him was exactly this.

The ability to read people and understanding how important it was to pay attention had given him advantages and eased his way into being loved by everybody. It was something you could have done yourself, for sure, but you didn’t. But then again, he had also been blessed with his godlike appearance on top of it all.

“Good thinking, Jeon… he was my student guide when I first arrived here.” You explained to him and unwillingly your mind automatically brought up memories from those days. They weren’t bad, not at all. Taehyung had always been cocky, no doubt and god he was a flirt from the first second he had greeted you in front of the principal’s office but back then he had always respected your opinions. That was until you had dodged his attempted kiss.

“Never knew he was a student guide.” Jungkook murmured in surprise, no other questions regarding this subject followed as a few more minutes of silence had passed afterward. In your mind, you were busy soaking in the smallest details of his face so you could perfect the already existing sketches of him once you had the time. Things like the mole underneath his lips or the scar he had on his left cheek which you had only seen because the faint sunlight had shone directly upon it for a split second before, making you wonder how he had gotten the mark on his otherwise seemingly flawless face.

“I do have one last question, (Y/N).” he said and turned around to face you again, meeting your eyes since they had been locked on him for far too long anyway. Of course, he noticed but did not mention it any further, instead giving you a charming little smile. “Will you show me your drawings?”

You almost choked on your own saliva at the sound of his request. Catching you staring at him was one thing, something you could handle just fine. But that he knew you had drawn him before? That he had possibly seen a glimpse of said drawings earlier this morning? That was absolutely embarrassing. You could clearly feel the redness rising to your cheeks and the inside of your body quickly heating up so that soon all you could think about was jumping into the pond next to you. Even the slightest chance of it being deep enough to swallow you whole was better than sitting across of Jeon Jungkook with that stupidly endearing grin on his face as he enjoyed to see you dying on the inside.

“N-no way.” You stumbled, instinctively scooping to your end of the bench to be as far away from him as possible and taking your no longer secret sketchbook with you. He had no shame to follow you right away, scooping even closer than before as he tried to reach around you to get ahold of the folder you hopelessly tried to hide behind your back.

“I always knew you were drawing me.” He chuckled, his low voice so close to your ear was a whole new sensation and in fact distracting enough that you were not paying attention long enough to him to get what he wanted. When you snapped out of your trance with goosebumps creeping up underneath the layer of clothing that at least hid them from his sight, you slowly processed what he just said and your eyes widened in shock. “What?!”

“One of my best friends is sitting right behind you in class.”

Just when you thought that the option of jumping into the pond with even the slightest chance of being swallowed could not get any more attractive, he had managed to prove you wrong. The real question was what on earth even made you stay there for a second longer… and the answer was that you wanted to know what he would say. What if he disliked the drawings? What if they even insulted him? You didn’t dare to say another thing as he was skipping through the pages, searching what he really wanted to see but every now and then you saw him smiling down at other scribbles of yours. At least he seemed to like some of them.

The fact that he was still sitting so close to you that your shoulders were touching didn’t really improve your state of panic either, in fact making you go even more insane when you felt your own skin starting to tingle even with all those layers of clothes preventing any form of direct contact. Nothing but a few hours ago you could have sworn that you did not have a crush on this guy. He had been nothing but a beautiful motif you just happened to discover in the most boring class there was. And then he took you on this morning trip, had managed to get into your head and under your skin with so little effort that you were no longer sure of anything.

You knew there were only a few more pages left until he would see what he wanted to see and so you quickly got up. There was no way you could handle to see the disappointment in his eyes right next to your own.

“You’ve got a lot of talent. Why aren’t you in the art class?” he mumbled, flipping the final page to discover the first drawing you had ever done of him. It was by far not your best, of course, it couldn’t be and deep down you always thought that you had actually done a pretty decent job with your latest attempt to draw him, which was the third one a few days ago. He took his time scanning the first page, his mouth agape although that could mean a lot of different things. And he did not say anything, making your body tense up further.

When he had flipped to the second page, another minute passing without him expressing a single damn thing you could no longer hold back all that built up tension, launching forward to rip the book out of his hands before he could see any more as you blurted out “Sorry! I should have asked before drawing you.” In one quick sentence that it probably wasn’t even understandable.

“Sorry?” he asked, clearly confused by your sudden reaction. His eyes were wide in surprise and his mouth formed the tiniest, most adorable pout you had ever seen. Whether you wanted to or not, it was like your mind had captured this moment with such detail that you would most definitely have to sit down later on and draw him just like this. Now he got up and walked towards you, luckily this time around he did not come as close as he had done before. “I meant what I said. You got a lot of talent.”

You vigorously shook your head, your bottom lip sucked into your mouth as you could not stop nibbling on it out of nervousness. “No, I’m really sorry. It wasn’t right.”

As your head was tilted down since you could not bear to meet his gaze after everything that had just been revealed, you did not see his exact facial expression when he said: “I am honored to be your muse.” He was joking, right?

“But who wouldn’t want a muse as attractive as me, I get it.” He was joking.

“Asshole.” You mumbled, picking up your backpack from beneath the bench you had sat on and wielded it over your shoulder. “You are not my muse.”

“No need to be ashamed, (Y/N)-ah. From now on you can even draw me like one of your French girls.” He joked on, that smug smile strongly showing at the corners of his lips even while he was talking and something told you that you would have to endure the sight of it a lot more often from this day on, a curse and a blessing at the same time. He nudged your shoulder and started walking towards the small pathway you had come from earlier that morning. “You know, the more time you spend with me the more you get to hear my, quote, adorable Busan dialect.”

It took a few seconds to sink in and when it did, you would have loved to facepalm yourself if not both of your hands were still clinging to your sketchbook. You did not seriously say that out loud by accident, did you? This had never happened to you before. Your self-control was better than this…

He kept on walking without looking back and with all the embarrassment piled up inside of you it was tempting to just let him stroll ahead so that you wouldn’t need to actually face him all the way back to your school. However, you then remembered just how terrible your sense of direction was and had absolutely no clue when to take a right or left turn on this pathway. You needed to walk back together with him.

Exactly like you had done that morning you quickly sprinted towards him to catch up, quietly walking beside Jungkook with a face as red as Rudolph’s nose must have been. You had wondered how he managed to wrap people around his fingers ever so easily and here you found yourself trapped like a fly in a spider web. And from all that you could tell, he was enjoying it with every fiber of his body.  

“So, are you going to the party this weekend?” he suddenly asked but you were happy that he had caught you off guard with such an unrelated question, exactly what you needed to become a little more relaxed again.

“What party?” The fact that you weren’t the typical nerd did not necessarily qualify you to be part of the cool kid's group at school either. Of course, you had not heard of a party, nobody would even notice if you attended or not.

“Nancy is throwing a party at her house this weekend.”

“Well, in that case, I don’t think I’m going.” You responded to his former question but only heard him chuckle at those words leaving your mouth. After taking a picture for himself of the piece of paper that seemed to be an invitation he slipped it into your jacket accompanied with a sly smile.

“Wrong answer, (Y/N).”

[evalocity]

Can you say something nice about mutuals you've interacted with who you think are closest to you? Can be as many as you wish, it's time to spread positivity😊😊

This is a wonderful idea boo, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to do this :) 

(it might be a bit long lmao here we go!)

@the-fierce-fangirl Ria, you were my first tumblr friend on here, in March 2018 we’ll have known each other for a year now ! I knew no one on here when we met, you reblogging my post was ?? a blessing ! someone noticed me ! and we started to talk, and you’ve been the purest and sweetest friend I could ask for. My birthday present ? That you freaking sent me ? I don’t deserve you. I just...there’s no words dear friend, to tell you how much you mean to me ;-; One day I’ll come to Poland and we’ll have tones of fun ! xoxo

@jasonblossomsghost Or, I remember when we first started talking. I was shy at first, but you seemed sweet, and honestly bless those swedish fish for starting our friendship. You’ve always been such a good friend, one that I don’t need to talk to 24/7 to know I can count on, and one that I’ve always wanted to defend because oh my god why are people in Kansas so annoying lmao. You’ve educated me on subjects that I knew nothing about and you’ve been there for me in dark moments, and I’m so so grateful. xoxo

@sapphic-spook Rose, you’re an amazing human. Idk if I could handle your aura irl, because just online you are such a ray of sunshine. You’re so nice and wise, your words can calm me down and make me feel better like no others can. Hell the apocalypse could me happening and you’d tell me to chill and I would :’) nah I think you’d know better than to tell me that x) but seriously, you’re amazing, and I just need to thank you for handling my panic attacks like the boss you are. I hope you’re happy, whenever I think of you I’m sending you tones of positive vibes because that’s what you deserve. xoxo

@addcolortomysky Em, it’s been a while since we’ve talked ! But that doesn’t mater, whenever I do an ask game I remember how much you love those and I tag you because making you happy makes me happy. Thank you for sharing my crazy interests, sharing them with you was hilarious ! I miss you, sorry for sucking at staying in contact :’) xoxo

@crazyreader1899 Hi Matata ! We’re mutuals and it’s been a freaking while since we’ve talked (I suck, I know). But nevertheless ! You know that meme where a guy is standing in an empty auditorium and waves and the text says something along the lines “me at that mutuals who likes all of my posts” well every time I see it on my dash, I think of you. Seeing you in my notifications always make me smile because you’ve kept up with my shit for so long now ?? You’re great, thank you, ily. xoxo

@izzyd03 Izzy !! You’re such a sweet human you know that ? I feel like I don’t do enough to let you know how much I appreciate you caring about me, like when you’d wish me good luck on my finals because you’d remember when they were ?? I’ve cherished those good lucks my dude, you’re such a good friend. Also your Instagram ? On point girl, you’re beautiful, you go. xoxo

@sugasugahanihani Bia ! Babe omg ;-; First of all, I want to apologize to you for being the worst™ and never keeping up with texting you I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me but please never doubt how much I care about you because you are !! the best !! I’m so dumb Idk how to express this friendship, you just mean so much ? You are so freaking sweet and I can rant to you and I can talk to you and you’re always there like omg I do not deserve you girl, you’re such a blessing. xoxo

@mr-bushido Hi boo ! We’ve been mutuals for hum a freaking while ?? I wanted to take a minute to thank you because you’ve actually helped me discover a bunch of k-pop groups and songs ! You’re a sweet mutual and I enjoy your blog very much. I hope you’ll have an amazing year 2018 :) xoxo

@yoonminfaketexts Hii ! I absolutely love your blog omg :’) I feel dumb rn because we don’t know each other but ! We’re mutuals and I really appreciate what you post so thank you for making me smile you’re not unnoticed xoxo 

@moonlightkth Bel !! Can we take a second to bless your fake texts because 1. They’re amazing 2. Without them I wouldn’t have known you ;-; Sharing BTS and Got7 with you ? An accomplishment™. I consider you like a little sister and I hope you know you can always count on me. xoxo

@nooowestayandgetcaught Hi Rie ! First, it’s been a while since we’ve talked I’m such a mess, but I wanted you to remember how great I always thought your writing was, as an author you’ve been an inspiration and I’m so proud of you ! Plus, you’ve educated me on some stuff, always being respectful and kind. Thank you so much. xoxo

@clap-your-hands-yo Kensley ! My fave NCT blog ;) and one of my fave blogs actually ! You’re hum so freaking talented ?? Like honestly when God made you he dropped all the damn Talent™ bottle Istg :’) When I think about you, I know it’s stupid but the first word that comes to mind if “perfection”. I’m proud of you for your grades, for the work you’re putting in learning my language, for being so sweet, for being you. xoxo

@lovingyoongi Hopi !! Babe ! I’m so glad everything is going well for you in Korea, oh my god. We’ve always simply shared our love for BTS together, but I really care about you and man, your happiness is mine ok ? Have a blast in Seoul, you deserve it all. xoxo

@emmcfrxst Pasc :) Idk if I should talk to you in French or English ? That’s kinda awkward :’) OH WELL. You are such a sweet human omg, always taking the time to make people feel better, always being so considerate, always trying to fight against problematic stuff to create a safe space for your followers. You’re awesome ! xoxo

@mintysugasweet Rae ! You’re a new friend, but you’re a friend I’ve liked immediately. You are so so nice ! Texting you has made my days better, would it be by sharing my theories with your (amazing, incredible, awesome, breathtaking) au, simply talking about our mutual interests or learning more about your experiences in Korea. I don’t remember how I’ve discovered your blog but the least I can say is that I’m so thankful I did. xoxo

@exoverdosed Chelsea !!! My fave blog on this hellsite omg ;-; Idk what to say without getting emo just thank you for being so great ? Your blog lets me keep up with our Kings, and your tags make it the funniest thing ever. I can always count on you for moral support and to help my clueless ass about what’s going on in the k-pop world. Ily, ot9 rule and yass you’re cool keep up being you. xoxo

@sugahobiby Lune, it’s been a while since we remade, I remember our first interaction being me trying to send you positive vibes because you were stressing out about uni. Look at you now ! I hope you know you can count on me to help you in all the ways I humanly can, would it just be someone to talk to. Also I live for your snapchat stories lmao it’s a blessing :’) xoxo

@noona-clock Hi you two ! I wanted to thank you for all your great reactions and fics, I always enjoy reading them they’re soft and really great ! You seem so nice and I hope you both have an amazing year 2018 :) xoxo

@baekphia Sophia, I’ve been following you for a while and when we became mutuals I was SO freaking happy ! You’re nice, you’re so much fun and it reflects in your blog that I enjoy a LOT. Have an amazing year 2018 filled with your best friends (EXO), your mutuals and followers, your sister and Bakehyun with his possible new album !! xoxo

@minnie-rocker-xx Hi boo ! We haven’t spoken that much because idk if you’ve guessed but I’m a MESS at keeping up but you seem so nice already omg ! Why don’t you send me a message detailing all of your interests so we can talk about them ? I’d love to know you more :) xoxo

@softminmin Tila, mY GIRL. It all began when I was just a casual fan of your fake texts, and then you noticed me and I proudly became your cheerleader™ (I still am btw no one is taking that spot.) ! And now we’re friends and omg Ilysm. It’s like we don’t have to force any conversations we just naturally connect. I feel like a copycat lmao because your feelings and your thoughts are the same as mine ? It feels so great to be able to share with you, honestly everyone deserves someone like you babe. Good luck on your finals, I know you can do it ! xoxo 

IT TOOK ME A FREAKING WHILE, and I hope I didn’t forget anyone !! I love you so much, not just my mutuals but all my followers and all the ones that I follow ! THANK YOU ANON XOXO 

[tricksheart]

The iPersonic (Career) test!

DREAMY IDEALISTS Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honorable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal.

Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.

As a Dreamy Idealist you are one of the introverted personality types. Therefore you prefer a quiet work environment where you can intensively deal with your responsibilities and are not disturbed by too many people and repeated distractions. You need a lot of time to dwell on your thoughts, to put them into words, and let your ideas take shape.

You are grateful for a certain measure of order and structure because they secure the time to achieve this so you can deal with one task after the other and not have to juggle a number of responsibilities at once - you don’t like that because it is important to you to deal with things thoroughly. Your capability to concentrate is unusually great and very often you become engrossed in something and forget everything around you - even to eat and drink.

Nevertheless, because you are very adaptable, congenial and interested in harmony and cooperation, you enjoy working together with others. A neighborhood that requires the ability to assert yourself and where direct confrontations are the order of the day is not your optimal environment. In order to permit you to fully develop your ability you need an environment that is as stress free as possible. If you can’t get that you soon suffer, because you take critique and negative feedback very personally.

You enjoy the opportunity for exchanges with other people you value and whose capabilities you respect but in this case remember the motto: Better less than more; better a few “hand picked” colleagues who truly move on your wavelength. It is best when you share the same high ideals and important objectives and together can fight for the same good cause because then you are truly in your element. If that is not the case, you do better by largely working by yourself because you belong to the personality types who can do that very well and don’t necessarily have to depend on others in order to come up with good results.

Send “👨‍👩‍👧‍👦” for one of my muse’s memories with their parents ( anon asked cat!dad Katsuya )

Really? A memory about his real father that’s obsessed with cats? The majority of the people in Japan know him more as the famous Katsuya Suou that’s mentioned in the media from time to time. Akira’s not too familiar with him for the most part. Strained relationship but it’s because the noodle boy hadn’t really met the man until after the events of his year away in the city. There’s not a lot to tell besides the usual, ‘what do you mean you used the code-name of Joker? Don’t you know know how serious that is to be named that???’. And being part of the police. That too. But there’s a still fresh memory in Akira’s mind that brings both a smile and a little bit of regret. 

“So I went over to his apartment to spend some ‘quality time’ with my real father, as mom put it. Although, I wasn’t so sure that was a good idea though because I was so nervous. I mean I didn’t know this guy. He could had turned to be like Akechi or someone worse. I was still traumatized by the whole ‘there was a hit on me inside of a police station’ no matter how much of a brave face I put on in mementos. That shit fucked me up. There were times that I felt withdrawn after that. So, I had every right to be a little nervous and a little untrusting to whomever I had met.

Morgana decided to tag along because they were worried about me for some odd reason. Maybe the cat knew I was nervous or that Morgana wanted some fancy sushi from the corner restaurant but anyway. Meeting Mr. media cop himself was what you expect it to be. Glaring face, glasses that almost were a shade darker than Shido’s, folding arms. You know, the typical tough person who doesn’t smile at all. To say I was ready to makes jokes and be comfortable with a person like that would be when it snowed in hell. It just wasn’t going to happen.

But as soon as Morgana popped out of my school bag, the funniest thing happened. He just went and had a sneezing fit! Call my sense of humor odd but it was the most funniest thing ever! I never seen someone sneeze that many times in my life. Turns out that he was allergic to cats and had to take some allergy medicine. I feel a little bad but at least that broke the tension in the room. I mean, I trust him a little more than I used to. Also, he dresses up Morgana like his own persona Helios sometimes and it’s really hilarious. Now when Morgana tells me to go to bed, I tell them that I’ll just bring him over to dad’s apartment. That makes them keep quiet. Haha”.  

Send “👨‍👩‍👧‍👦” for one of my muse’s memories with their parents ( ryuji asked this )

Figures Ryuji would want to know about his childhood. It wasn’t much since Akira didn’t really want to talk about his past too much. There was just too many sad memories that hurt to be brought up. Plus, telling things that might be considered annoying or not worth anyone’s time was also weighing on his mind. Didn’t want to be a pain in the ass to others. Nope, don’t want that.

“A memory huh? ‘Kay. I think I have a happy one when I was a kid”. There’s a pause. A thing that made him nostalgic? Well, Akira could tell the time where him and his mom went to a pet shop. Simple yes, and not something one would normally share but it was the best thing he could come up with at such a short notice. The thing was that Akira liked to analyze the situation and think about the best answer. There were times that pressure made him cave in and did stupid things like kicking the desert palace mechanisms

“Back when I was three or so, I can’t remember for shit back then since you know, being three years old. Sometimes I think I made it up to compensate for the lack of happy memories but Maya, my mother, took me to the local pet shop in my hometown, Sumaru City”. He looks to Ryuji to see if the blonde was doing okay with the story so far but he’s surprise to see the other just listening very closely to his story. Wait, was that a piece of paper and pen? Was he writing this down? How embarrassing! It wasn’t notebook worthy that’s for sure. Maybe it was best to finish the story than focus on the questionable habits of a certain Ryuji Sakamoto for today.

“So she brings me to the back end of the store, or wanted me to go because that’s where all the dogs and cats were. Maybe she thought I was either of those type of people. You know, like those who choose the most popular choice. Most kids would choose a dog or a cat because it’s the norm. But I wasn’t the normal kid, not by any means. Just like I am now. I guess I haven’t changed from the person who marches on to his own beat huh? Hahahahahahaha”. Akira sheepishly looks over, wondering if Ryuji was freak out by his odd sense of humor or the fact that he hasn’t really changed that much since then. Time to quickly say the next part. Akira was already saying too much then he wanted to let on.

“So my mom couldn’t find me since I sneaked off and was at the middle of the store checking out the rabbits. I don’t know why they drew me in but they are were so fluffy and they kind of reminded me of myself, especially the ones with the black fur coat. It almost matched my hair! So how could I not choose them over the others? They can’t compare to be completely honest. Maybe I liked them because mom also liked them a lot??? She even had a key-chain shaped like a rabbit named Mr. BUN-BUN that she let me play with sometimes.

I didn’t get to have a bunny as a pet though. My ‘father’ thought it was too irresponsible for me to have a pet let alone a rabbit. How he found out that we went to the pet shop in the first place still strikes me as odd because both mom and I hadn’t seen him in days. I repeat, DAYS. Sometimes I wonder if he said no on purpose……Anyways, not to make that sad at the end but that day I felt a certain kindness to those animals that don’t get enough love because they get looked over for the more popular pet. I wish Morgana was a rabbit instead of a cat. Hahahahaha. Nah. I wouldn’t change what he was. Maybe we can put some bunny ears on him or something next time. You game? Heh”.  

BIRTHDAY SYMBOLS - (02/26/2000)

AMETHYST - THE GEM OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY.

Amethyst is a part of royal gem collections all over the world, from ancient Egypt to the British crown jewels. For some time, true amethyst was valued equally with the diamond. The name amethyst derives from the ancient Greek word amethustos, meaning sober. It was said that an amethyst could instill a sober and serious mind. Amethyst was known as a gem that would bring forth the highest, purest aspirations of human kind. Chastity, sobriety, and control over one’s thoughts were all attributes heightened by wearing the stone. Amethysts are recommended to those who deal with stress a lot, such as people with an excessive work ethic who are unable to enjoy relaxation.

VIOLET.

Violet is a delicate flower that appears at the end of February. It may come in shades of blue, mauve, or even yellow or cream. Violet denotes faithful love, humility and modesty. In the Victorian era, giving someone violets suggested “I’ll always be true”. Dreaming of violets means that luck is coming your way, and that your future spouse will be younger than you. Violet is known as the state flower of Illinois, Wisconsin, New Jersey, and Rhode Island, and the official flower of Greece. It is also given on the 50th wedding anniversary.

PISCES.

Pisces people are devoted, compassionate, imaginative, adaptable, sensitive, kind, selfless and sympathetic. You tend to keep a low profile compared to other zodiac signs. You have a quiet disposition, yet on the inside you experience extremes of emotions, both good and bad. You have the talent of understanding people’s motivations where they might not be obvious to other people. You also have incredible strength of character. You will always stand up and/ or work hard for what you believe in, especially if loved ones are involved. You are the most sensitive of all the zodiac signs.

THE DRAGON.

A symbol of Strength. You are lucky, passionate, flexible, eccentric, original, confident, imaginative, artistic, spiritual, and charismatic. You have a strong personality and will. You follow your own unique path in life and always speak your mind. You are honest and direct with everyone, romantic with your lovers, and confident in your abilities. You put all of your effort into anything you put your mind to, and you are a powerful force- never giving up on anything as you know there is always a solution to every problem. You are happiest when you have a good cause to focus on. You are full of energy and your charisma is inspiring. Famous Dragons: Nicolas Cage, Colin Farrell, Vanessa Hudgens, Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock.

WOLF.

You are compassionate, spiritual, intuitive, generous, mysterious, artistic, gentle, adaptable, sympathetic, and deeply emotional. Your path in life revolves around love- to receive it, and to give it. You hate the thought of others suffering or in pain, because of your deep compassion. You take on the responsibility of teaching others to be compassionate as well. As a teacher, you have the ability to know when to stand back and let others figure out their own paths of life. You are very self aware- you eliminate things that may cause harm to people.

PINE TREE.

The tree of peace. You are poised, active, natural, friendly, practical, compassionate, and trustworthy. You are a health conscious person, and do everything in moderation. You are always doing something to move towards progress and success. You are aware of what you need emotionally, physically, and spiritually, to be happy. You crave harmony and peace and as such, with your compassionate nature, you love to help other people too. You have an active imagination and you enjoy writing.

TOP THREE INTELLIGENCES FOR YOUR MUSE

MUSICAL: [5] You like the rhythm and sound of language. You like poems, songs, and jingles. You enjoy humming or singing along with music. You probably remember things well when they are associated with music or rhythm. Try to incorporate sounds into your lessons, such as using a familiar tune, song, or rap beat to teach spelling rules, or to remember words in a series for a test.

SELF: [4.43] You have a very good sense of self. You like to spend time by yourself and think things over. You will often take in information from another person, mull it over by yourself, and come back to that person later to discuss it. You like working on projects on your own. You often prefer to learn by trial and error. Effective techniques to enhance your learning include keeping a journal and giving yourself time to reflect on new ideas and information.

SPATIAL: [4.14] You remember things visually, including exact sizes and shapes of objects. You like posters, charts, and graphics. You like any kind of visual clues. You enjoy drawing. Effective techniques of enhancing your learning using your spatial intelligence include creating and/or using pictures, maps, diagrams, and graphs as you learn things.

[heresjeonny]

EXO 101: A Crash Course

Park Chanyeol 

Soft baby by day, sexy mofo by night. Can do everything?? Sing, rap, dance, cook, act, write and produce music, play the guitar (classical, spanish, lead, and rhythm omg) and the piano and the drums, has the body of an elf king. He’s also AMAZING with children as shown [here - skip to 12:17 and WATCH you won’t regret it] and dogs too! All animals really. He’s Korean Snow White. With abs. And if Snow White was extra. 

Also the kindest soul ever. He’s always smiling, even when he’s down. He literally said, and I quote; “No matter how difficult something is, I will always be positive and smile like an idiot.” His then-girlfriend nicknamed him “Happy Virus.” Constantly buys his members gifts, is very tall (well over six feet), and he’s the most extroverted and sociable person - actually friends with everyone. 10/10 amazing human.  

Byun Baekhyun

Don’t let him fool you!!! He looks soft but he will fuck you up with his cheeky lil smile and pelvic sorcery and unearthly vocals and uGH. His wit is unparalleled like omg, so sassy and hilarious and sharp. Also a huge nerd when it comes to anime, manga, and video games. Once gave a picture of himself to another member as a gift, the lil shit.  

He’s incredibly passionate about his career and his members, and I think it was Kyungsoo who said that it’s Baek who keeps them all together at times. In summary: Byun Baekhyun is what happens when a demon and an angel do the do. 

D.O./Do Kyungsoo:

Do Kyungsoo? More like Do Me, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I’m so thirsty Ksoo...I don’t even know where to begin with this one. First of all, he single-handedly saved the human race from extinction with his voice. He’s savage af, so much so that he’s affectionately nicknamed “Satansoo” and he will smack a bitch. He’s also so soft and squishy at the same time, you’ll get whiplash. And his acTING. Lord in heaven. And I believe he didn’t even have acting lessons?? The nerve of him. He, too, is sex on legs, and he might be quieter than the others, but y’all best listen when he talks cause boy bout to spill the tea. 

He’s also very paternal in that he takes care of the other members a lot, like when Kai, his roommate, isn’t feeling well, he’ll care for him or go out to get food for him. And he can cook really well. I’m gonna stop now before I end up writing an entire dissertation ;’)

Lay/Zhang Yixing

ALSO NOT PURE ABORT ABORT THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

Oh my god. Anyway. Zhang Yixing is the perfect contradiction. On the one hand, he’s an actual baby lamb - laugh and all. On the other hand, he’s the human embodiment of the NC-17 rating. Like, hide yo kids. Yixing is also one of the Chinese members of EXO, so he often leaves to promote his solo music which is in Chinese, and he works so incredibly hard and deserves all the success. He also writes the lyrics, and composes and arranges the music! 

And...his dancing. Proof that god exists. There is literally no part of his body that Yixing does not have absolute command over - and you can see it because he is so precise, confident, and sexy. :’) 

Suho/Kim Junmyeon

I actually had to cover his face while writing this because holy--

Yup. Moving on. 

Actually, back to his face (and the rest of him): Remember when Da Vinci was conceptualizing the Vitruvian Man (lol only 90′s kids will remember...1490′s kids, that is). You know that picture of the guy with another pair of arms and legs superimposed on him, inside a circle? The drawing theorizing the ideal proportions of the human body? Yup, true story: Junmyeon was Da Vinci’s muse. Suho’s face is so symmetrical, it inspired mathematicians to write the golden ratio. He is a genetic miracle, a statistical outlier, a national treasure--

Anyway *sweats*. ALSO. Let’s talk about his personality. Myeon is the mom of EXO, the leader, so he’s naturally very parental. He actually chose the stage name “Suho” because it means guardian. He always does his best to keep his kids the members together and doing what they need to be doing. Always pays for things ($Junmoney$), and is the person a lot of them confide in and go to for comfort or advice, especially Sehun. 

He’s such a dad too - like his dad joke ratings are off the charts. 10/10 would build you a tree house and tuck you in at night. 

Oh Sehun

Maknae. Icon. Legend. Used to have a lisp. 

People sometimes think he’s cold or reserved because of his face, but as you can see in the gif, he’s literal sunshine. He once cried on stage because he was knocked on the head by a camera - but he wasn’t crying because the injury hurt, he was crying because he wasn’t allowed to perform because of it, and he felt like he was disappointing his fans. He also cried during a radio show when asked about his other members - he said every night before he falls asleep, he prays for them and he prays that they all stay together and are successful and happy. And now I’m crying. 

Everyone is in love with him. 

His dancing resurrected me from the dead, put my children through college, and ended world hunger because damn we are fed when that boy moves. 

Sehun was once invited to Paris for a Louis Vuitton fashion show and became king of France. I’m not kidding. All he did was show up, and there was a huge crowd already there to greet him as if he were royalty, and he was voted best dressed at the show by Vogue. He went to the Louvre, and people were studying and appreciating him, the actual art.  

Chen/Kim Jongdae

Ah, little dino bby. He’s iconic for many reasons: 

1) His smile. It curls up at the corners like this :}

2) When he laughs, he literally goes HAHAHAHAHA like wow, amazing, I want this as my ringtone

3) He screams a lot. Nickelodeon once made a show about him called Jongdae: The Last Pterodactyl. 

4) HIS VOCALS. Un-freaking-believable. He’s the male version of Mariah Carey. 

5) Speaks really good Chinese! (He’s Korean) 

6) An amazing human?? He donates to charity so often and he doesn’t do it for publicity either. He takes good care of the other members too. 

Jongdae, let me put a ring on it. 

Xiumin/Kim Minseok

HERE WE GO. My precious boy :’)

Minseok. The eldest. Also known as the best person to ever exist. Like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t talk much because he’s a shy lil bean, but once he warms up to you, the things that come out of his mouth are so deep and cute and funny and wowow I want ten of him

Is the least likely to cry

Was chubby (and so adorable!!) as a little kid, and now he has a six pack. Because of his weight as a kid though, he has spoken many times about the issue of body shaming and how people’s perceptions of a person shift based on how they look. He once said these words that made my cold, dead heart beat again: “I don’t have an ideal type. If our hearts match well, then she will look pretty to me.” 

Has the strongest arms in EXO. They all arm wrestled and he won and it was the funniest thing ever. 

Is not only an idol, he’s also getting his Ph.D. Dr. Kim. I can’t believe....

Wants to open his own coffee shop, and I don’t drink coffee, but I would chug any dish-water-coffee-grinds-filth that he would serve me because damn I love him. 

Kai/Kim Jongin

R00D MOTHERF*CKER. 

The Bias Wrecker. Or just your bias, plain and simple 

Kim Jongin is one of nature’s greatest accomplishments. His gams are the eighth wonder of the world - and he puts them to use when he dances, like please kick me in the face with those omfg 

His laugh. Astounding. Also don’t stand too close when he laughs because he will hit you. It’s just what he does lmao

He’s basically a hip young old man - so hot but so sleepy. He’ll sleep at any given opportunity. 

Very fond of fried chicken. And dogs. But not in terms of eating, for the latter

Learned ballet for ten years and it shows, and I just wANT TO SEE HIM IN A LEOTARD DAMMIT

He has darker skin than the other members which people used to make fun of him for and still do comment on, but he says he loves it and he is proud of his body :’) we are too bby!!

Other random facts: 

-  EXO originally had 12 members but 3 left and we’re not going to talk about it okay? okay

- Chen and Xiumin are married best friends. Xiumin actually said in an interview that Chen is “like my wife” 

- Sehun is now officially Lord Oh Sehun of Glencoe, Scotland because his fans are the most Extra and purchased the estate for his birthday :’) 

- Chanyeol once folded one hundred paper cranes for his girlfriend as a gift, but in the middle of doing this, she called him and broke up with him

- Baekhyun can’t cook for shit but at least he’s pretty 

- Kai dated F(X)’s Krystal 

- Kyungsoo once said to the camera that he is “not pure” 

- Yixing starred in a gay sci-fi movie where he and this other dude have a baby

- Suho is a health nut. Just like how girls always have pads and tampons on them, Suho has multivitamins 

For @the-porcelain-doll-xo because I’m the friend that wants to drag you into hell with me, and I can’t wait for you to get into EXO ahhhhh ily <33

[zingit-free-classified-ads]

15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees Midwinter is the season for fun activities, so plan some enjoyable entertainments for your office staff during the holidays. While you might not have the budget for some of the activity ideas on this list, that’s okay. Get creative with the budget you do have, because it won’t be any fun if you have to be miserly about it. RELATED ARTICLE: THE IDEAL BUSINESS OUTING: TAKE YOUR EMPLOYEES ON A HIKE 1. Invite Their Families During the holiday season, nothing spells good cheer like inviting the families and friends of your employees along to any event you’re holding. Even if your staff enjoys working with you, it’s a sad fact that nobody likes being at work during the holidays. That is, they dislike being away from their families during this family time of year. Inviting families along is a great morale booster. 2. Make Cookies No party or activity is complete without giant platters of cookies. Invite your workers to bring in a variety of cookies—or some unique candies—whether they’re homemade or store bought. Your company can supply soft drinks and punch. 3. Hold Contests Contests are the lifeblood of fun activities. And everyone has an ugly Christmas sweater. Why not hold a contest, inviting your workers to bring in those disastrous sweaters of Satan? Whoever has the ugliest sweater wins a prize. Think along the lines of a plasma TV, a board game, a laptop, or an equally ugly tie. 4. Karaoke Ever since I saw an episode of The Office where Kevin sang Alanis Morrissette’s “You Oughta Know,” I’ve been hoping for having karaoke night at an office holiday party. Karaoke is one of those fun activities in which people to reveal another side of themselves. And it’s always good for laughs around the water cooler the next day. 5. Switch Things Up No matter what you decide to do for this year’s parties, don’t make the mistake of doing the same boring thing you did last year. People want new and exciting fun activities, not the same old and tired tricks. That’s a sure-fire way to extinguish the fun. 6. Employee Potluck Lunch Everyone in my town loves potluck lunches and dinners. They are a fantastic way to try out everybody’s special cooking talents and give people a chance to let their culinary skills shine. Be sure to pick a theme and encourage people to create their specialty dishes. 7. Trim a Tree Together You know those ornaments and toys that let you record whatever you want for some amount of time? Make your employees feel like they’re a team by encouraging them to record a message together. Then hang that ornament on the office tree. Alternatively, if you’ve been taking pictures of funny things that happened over the year, place those in lightweight frames and place them on the tree. 8. Record It All A special way to make your clients and customers feel like you truly value them is to record a video or photograph an album. In it, feature various members of your staff thanking those clients and customers. All the while you’ll be having a blast of a party, complete with plenty of wish-you-were-here greetings and other fun activities. 9. Gift Baskets Encourage people to make holiday gift baskets for their colleagues using money from their own pockets. Set a reasonable and fairly inexpensive spending limit. Alternatively, buy some Christmas baskets for each of your employees on the sly and play Secret Santa. 10. Chair Race This activity is sure to be a hit. Clear out the biggest space in the office you possibly can. Next, create a finish line using paper taped together. Once it’s all set up, encourage your employees to have a race on rolling office chairs. Before the hilarity ensues, decide together what the first, second and third place prizes will be. 11. Video Game Challenges Most people enjoy playing video games. Consoles such as Wii, Wii U, PS4 and Xbox One all have 4-player games that you can turn into a challenge or tournament. Maybe the winner gets a paid day off work? 12. Best Decorated Department Contest Do you have a lot of departments in your company? Give each of them an hour to decorate their areas. Then have a company-wide vote on which is the best or funniest. 13. Donations of Clothes or Food The holidays are a time of giving, and it goes beyond presents for each other. If there is a clothing or food drive that’s happening in your town, encourage your employees to participate. 14. Go out for a Bite If you have the money, rent out a private room at a local restaurant and personally buy a dinner for your employees. This is a wonderful morale booster. While you’re at it, invite people who attend to bring a an inexpensive gift for a Secret Santa exchange. 15. Door-to-Door Driver Services Especially if you offer alcohol at your holiday party, hire personal door-to-door drivers for each of your employees. This will ensure they get home safely. Alternatively, hold the holiday activities during the lunch hour, and keep the alcohol consumption to a minimum—if you offer it at all. Last Call There is no reason you can’t make the most of your office days during the holidays. Just let your inner child out and encourage everyone to let their freak flags fly. The post 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees appeared first on Business Opportunities.  

[brisbanepainter1]

15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees Midwinter is the season for fun activities, so plan some enjoyable entertainments for your office staff during the holidays. While you might not have the budget for some of the activity ideas on this list, that’s okay. Get creative with the budget you do have, because it won’t be any fun if you have to be miserly about it. RELATED ARTICLE: THE IDEAL BUSINESS OUTING: TAKE YOUR EMPLOYEES ON A HIKE 1. Invite Their Families During the holiday season, nothing spells good cheer like inviting the families and friends of your employees along to any event you’re holding. Even if your staff enjoys working with you, it’s a sad fact that nobody likes being at work during the holidays. That is, they dislike being away from their families during this family time of year. Inviting families along is a great morale booster. 2. Make Cookies No party or activity is complete without giant platters of cookies. Invite your workers to bring in a variety of cookies—or some unique candies—whether they’re homemade or store bought. Your company can supply soft drinks and punch. 3. Hold Contests Contests are the lifeblood of fun activities. And everyone has an ugly Christmas sweater. Why not hold a contest, inviting your workers to bring in those disastrous sweaters of Satan? Whoever has the ugliest sweater wins a prize. Think along the lines of a plasma TV, a board game, a laptop, or an equally ugly tie. 4. Karaoke Ever since I saw an episode of The Office where Kevin sang Alanis Morrissette’s “You Oughta Know,” I’ve been hoping for having karaoke night at an office holiday party. Karaoke is one of those fun activities in which people to reveal another side of themselves. And it’s always good for laughs around the water cooler the next day. 5. Switch Things Up No matter what you decide to do for this year’s parties, don’t make the mistake of doing the same boring thing you did last year. People want new and exciting fun activities, not the same old and tired tricks. That’s a sure-fire way to extinguish the fun. 6. Employee Potluck Lunch Everyone in my town loves potluck lunches and dinners. They are a fantastic way to try out everybody’s special cooking talents and give people a chance to let their culinary skills shine. Be sure to pick a theme and encourage people to create their specialty dishes. 7. Trim a Tree Together You know those ornaments and toys that let you record whatever you want for some amount of time? Make your employees feel like they’re a team by encouraging them to record a message together. Then hang that ornament on the office tree. Alternatively, if you’ve been taking pictures of funny things that happened over the year, place those in lightweight frames and place them on the tree. 8. Record It All A special way to make your clients and customers feel like you truly value them is to record a video or photograph an album. In it, feature various members of your staff thanking those clients and customers. All the while you’ll be having a blast of a party, complete with plenty of wish-you-were-here greetings and other fun activities. 9. Gift Baskets Encourage people to make holiday gift baskets for their colleagues using money from their own pockets. Set a reasonable and fairly inexpensive spending limit. Alternatively, buy some Christmas baskets for each of your employees on the sly and play Secret Santa. 10. Chair Race This activity is sure to be a hit. Clear out the biggest space in the office you possibly can. Next, create a finish line using paper taped together. Once it’s all set up, encourage your employees to have a race on rolling office chairs. Before the hilarity ensues, decide together what the first, second and third place prizes will be. 11. Video Game Challenges Most people enjoy playing video games. Consoles such as Wii, Wii U, PS4 and Xbox One all have 4-player games that you can turn into a challenge or tournament. Maybe the winner gets a paid day off work? 12. Best Decorated Department Contest Do you have a lot of departments in your company? Give each of them an hour to decorate their areas. Then have a company-wide vote on which is the best or funniest. 13. Donations of Clothes or Food The holidays are a time of giving, and it goes beyond presents for each other. If there is a clothing or food drive that’s happening in your town, encourage your employees to participate. 14. Go out for a Bite If you have the money, rent out a private room at a local restaurant and personally buy a dinner for your employees. This is a wonderful morale booster. While you’re at it, invite people who attend to bring a an inexpensive gift for a Secret Santa exchange. 15. Door-to-Door Driver Services Especially if you offer alcohol at your holiday party, hire personal door-to-door drivers for each of your employees. This will ensure they get home safely. Alternatively, hold the holiday activities during the lunch hour, and keep the alcohol consumption to a minimum—if you offer it at all. Last Call There is no reason you can’t make the most of your office days during the holidays. Just let your inner child out and encourage everyone to let their freak flags fly. The post 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees appeared first on Business Opportunities.  

[kristinastorey27]

15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees Midwinter is the season for fun activities, so plan some enjoyable entertainments for your office staff during the holidays. While you might not have the budget for some of the activity ideas on this list, that’s okay. Get creative with the budget you do have, because it won’t be any fun if you have to be miserly about it. RELATED ARTICLE: THE IDEAL BUSINESS OUTING: TAKE YOUR EMPLOYEES ON A HIKE 1. Invite Their Families During the holiday season, nothing spells good cheer like inviting the families and friends of your employees along to any event you’re holding. Even if your staff enjoys working with you, it’s a sad fact that nobody likes being at work during the holidays. That is, they dislike being away from their families during this family time of year. Inviting families along is a great morale booster. 2. Make Cookies No party or activity is complete without giant platters of cookies. Invite your workers to bring in a variety of cookies—or some unique candies—whether they’re homemade or store bought. Your company can supply soft drinks and punch. 3. Hold Contests Contests are the lifeblood of fun activities. And everyone has an ugly Christmas sweater. Why not hold a contest, inviting your workers to bring in those disastrous sweaters of Satan? Whoever has the ugliest sweater wins a prize. Think along the lines of a plasma TV, a board game, a laptop, or an equally ugly tie. 4. Karaoke Ever since I saw an episode of The Office where Kevin sang Alanis Morrissette’s “You Oughta Know,” I’ve been hoping for having karaoke night at an office holiday party. Karaoke is one of those fun activities in which people to reveal another side of themselves. And it’s always good for laughs around the water cooler the next day. 5. Switch Things Up No matter what you decide to do for this year’s parties, don’t make the mistake of doing the same boring thing you did last year. People want new and exciting fun activities, not the same old and tired tricks. That’s a sure-fire way to extinguish the fun. 6. Employee Potluck Lunch Everyone in my town loves potluck lunches and dinners. They are a fantastic way to try out everybody’s special cooking talents and give people a chance to let their culinary skills shine. Be sure to pick a theme and encourage people to create their specialty dishes. 7. Trim a Tree Together You know those ornaments and toys that let you record whatever you want for some amount of time? Make your employees feel like they’re a team by encouraging them to record a message together. Then hang that ornament on the office tree. Alternatively, if you’ve been taking pictures of funny things that happened over the year, place those in lightweight frames and place them on the tree. 8. Record It All A special way to make your clients and customers feel like you truly value them is to record a video or photograph an album. In it, feature various members of your staff thanking those clients and customers. All the while you’ll be having a blast of a party, complete with plenty of wish-you-were-here greetings and other fun activities. 9. Gift Baskets Encourage people to make holiday gift baskets for their colleagues using money from their own pockets. Set a reasonable and fairly inexpensive spending limit. Alternatively, buy some Christmas baskets for each of your employees on the sly and play Secret Santa. 10. Chair Race This activity is sure to be a hit. Clear out the biggest space in the office you possibly can. Next, create a finish line using paper taped together. Once it’s all set up, encourage your employees to have a race on rolling office chairs. Before the hilarity ensues, decide together what the first, second and third place prizes will be. 11. Video Game Challenges Most people enjoy playing video games. Consoles such as Wii, Wii U, PS4 and Xbox One all have 4-player games that you can turn into a challenge or tournament. Maybe the winner gets a paid day off work? 12. Best Decorated Department Contest Do you have a lot of departments in your company? Give each of them an hour to decorate their areas. Then have a company-wide vote on which is the best or funniest. 13. Donations of Clothes or Food The holidays are a time of giving, and it goes beyond presents for each other. If there is a clothing or food drive that’s happening in your town, encourage your employees to participate. 14. Go out for a Bite If you have the money, rent out a private room at a local restaurant and personally buy a dinner for your employees. This is a wonderful morale booster. While you’re at it, invite people who attend to bring a an inexpensive gift for a Secret Santa exchange. 15. Door-to-Door Driver Services Especially if you offer alcohol at your holiday party, hire personal door-to-door drivers for each of your employees. This will ensure they get home safely. Alternatively, hold the holiday activities during the lunch hour, and keep the alcohol consumption to a minimum—if you offer it at all. Last Call There is no reason you can’t make the most of your office days during the holidays. Just let your inner child out and encourage everyone to let their freak flags fly. The post 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees appeared first on Business Opportunities.  

[burlingtonwahomes]

15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees Midwinter is the season for fun activities, so plan some enjoyable entertainments for your office staff during the holidays. While you might not have the budget for some of the activity ideas on this list, that’s okay. Get creative with the budget you do have, because it won’t be any fun if you have to be miserly about it. RELATED ARTICLE: THE IDEAL BUSINESS OUTING: TAKE YOUR EMPLOYEES ON A HIKE 1. Invite Their Families During the holiday season, nothing spells good cheer like inviting the families and friends of your employees along to any event you’re holding. Even if your staff enjoys working with you, it’s a sad fact that nobody likes being at work during the holidays. That is, they dislike being away from their families during this family time of year. Inviting families along is a great morale booster. 2. Make Cookies No party or activity is complete without giant platters of cookies. Invite your workers to bring in a variety of cookies—or some unique candies—whether they’re homemade or store bought. Your company can supply soft drinks and punch. 3. Hold Contests Contests are the lifeblood of fun activities. And everyone has an ugly Christmas sweater. Why not hold a contest, inviting your workers to bring in those disastrous sweaters of Satan? Whoever has the ugliest sweater wins a prize. Think along the lines of a plasma TV, a board game, a laptop, or an equally ugly tie. 4. Karaoke Ever since I saw an episode of The Office where Kevin sang Alanis Morrissette’s “You Oughta Know,” I’ve been hoping for having karaoke night at an office holiday party. Karaoke is one of those fun activities in which people to reveal another side of themselves. And it’s always good for laughs around the water cooler the next day. 5. Switch Things Up No matter what you decide to do for this year’s parties, don’t make the mistake of doing the same boring thing you did last year. People want new and exciting fun activities, not the same old and tired tricks. That’s a sure-fire way to extinguish the fun. 6. Employee Potluck Lunch Everyone in my town loves potluck lunches and dinners. They are a fantastic way to try out everybody’s special cooking talents and give people a chance to let their culinary skills shine. Be sure to pick a theme and encourage people to create their specialty dishes. 7. Trim a Tree Together You know those ornaments and toys that let you record whatever you want for some amount of time? Make your employees feel like they’re a team by encouraging them to record a message together. Then hang that ornament on the office tree. Alternatively, if you’ve been taking pictures of funny things that happened over the year, place those in lightweight frames and place them on the tree. 8. Record It All A special way to make your clients and customers feel like you truly value them is to record a video or photograph an album. In it, feature various members of your staff thanking those clients and customers. All the while you’ll be having a blast of a party, complete with plenty of wish-you-were-here greetings and other fun activities. 9. Gift Baskets Encourage people to make holiday gift baskets for their colleagues using money from their own pockets. Set a reasonable and fairly inexpensive spending limit. Alternatively, buy some Christmas baskets for each of your employees on the sly and play Secret Santa. 10. Chair Race This activity is sure to be a hit. Clear out the biggest space in the office you possibly can. Next, create a finish line using paper taped together. Once it’s all set up, encourage your employees to have a race on rolling office chairs. Before the hilarity ensues, decide together what the first, second and third place prizes will be. 11. Video Game Challenges Most people enjoy playing video games. Consoles such as Wii, Wii U, PS4 and Xbox One all have 4-player games that you can turn into a challenge or tournament. Maybe the winner gets a paid day off work? 12. Best Decorated Department Contest Do you have a lot of departments in your company? Give each of them an hour to decorate their areas. Then have a company-wide vote on which is the best or funniest. 13. Donations of Clothes or Food The holidays are a time of giving, and it goes beyond presents for each other. If there is a clothing or food drive that’s happening in your town, encourage your employees to participate. 14. Go out for a Bite If you have the money, rent out a private room at a local restaurant and personally buy a dinner for your employees. This is a wonderful morale booster. While you’re at it, invite people who attend to bring a an inexpensive gift for a Secret Santa exchange. 15. Door-to-Door Driver Services Especially if you offer alcohol at your holiday party, hire personal door-to-door drivers for each of your employees. This will ensure they get home safely. Alternatively, hold the holiday activities during the lunch hour, and keep the alcohol consumption to a minimum—if you offer it at all. Last Call There is no reason you can’t make the most of your office days during the holidays. Just let your inner child out and encourage everyone to let their freak flags fly. The post 15 Fun Activities You Can Do with Your Employees appeared first on Business Opportunities.  

[surviveforbiddenforest]

Nick’s Responses

Answer to Ruthie:

Thanks Queen for taking the time to read my opening statement J I do believe that you embodied my strategy when you talked about how everybody either didn’t think I was a threat to their game or was on their good side. Being in this limbo like relationship with everyone was part of the reason I was able to win two social competitions. As well as why Ali couldn’t find another person to vote me out that round he tried to blindside me. It’s ironic how if you go back and look at the titles I received in touch subjects were “Thinks they are controlling the game”, “Is actually controlling the game”, “Best position”, “Most friends”, and “Most final 2 deals” yet nobody seemed to notice and/or care. To answer your question, I would probably be a bit bias and vote for Julia to win. Toph’s game was very erratic and haphazard, he didn’t always fully think things through and kinda just had a “go with the flow” strategy. Julia, although playing UTR was able to come back from redemption and have 0 votes cast against her, but she did have an opportunity for second chance in the game and had previously been eliminated.

Answer to Jenny:

I could best describe my gameplay in these three traits: Calculated, Sociable, and Aggressive.

My game was calculated because I was very strategic and analytical when it came to who I wanted to leave and when. I consider all options and would think about everybody else’s connections before determining who the biggest threat to my game moving forward was. Such as I said in my answer to Charlotte, the people I choose to target partially had to do with who they were aligned with. I wanted to make sure that people felt closest to me so I got rid of people who got in-between me and others i.e. Ali, Drew, and Nicholas.

My gameplay was to be sociable. I built up many connections with a lot of people and initiated alliance to further myself in the game. I created alliances such as: Nicholas/Julia/Me, Drew/Toph/Me, Ruthie/Nicholas/Charlotte/Me, Toph/Charlotte/Me. I reached out to multiple people in the game and had social ties with a lot, if not everybody sitting in jury… something the other two sitting next to me cannot say. Not to dig on Toph and Julia, but they both have told me time and time again that they had limited relationships with many people in the game, sometimes not even messaging them at all.

Lastly, my game was aggressive. I vied for immunity wins, not really because I needed them but to prove I was a competitor and strengthen my case for tonight. I made cut-throat game moves and got rid of close allies to ensure I would be sitting here tonight. I did not sit idle and wait for game moves to happen, I made the moves happen. I was an initiator.

I believe all three of these traits prove that my game was the most multi-faceted and well rounded. I was social and liked when I needed to be, part of the reason nobody really ever considered targeting me, even when I didn’t have immunity. I was strategic and calculated with my moves making sure to consider everything leading up to a game move and making sure that I was a favorable candidate to win next to the finalists. And I was aggressive with how I played the game, I made moves that needed to be made in order to further myself such as taking out other competitors, such as Drew, Nicholas, and Charlotte.

Adil: Justin Finch-Fletchley, involved in some of the plot yet sometimes easily forgotten as a character. However, still involved in the story and Dumbledore’s Army but very UTR.

Jenny: Hermione, super freaking smart and a strong independent women. Everybody loves you and your individualistic self. You are one of a kind

Jenna: Lavender Brown, you love telling everybody about your crackt relationship but honestly you are really a super sweet and funny girl.

J.D: Angelina Johnson, because let’s be real J.D. would totally be a Quidditch player and probably kick all our asses like she did on Redemption.

Ali: Seamus Finnigan, he is a very likable character but manages to make mistakes every once in a while like when he came for me in this game ;(

Drew: Harry Potter, if Drew was a wizard he’d probably be one of the most powerful ones to ever exist. Also Drew is a main character let’s be real.

Ruthie: Ginny, a bright wizard and very likable. She is secretly a badass and kicks ass on the Quidditch pitch. Super sweet to her friends and people she loves.

Nicholas: Dean Thomas, friends with a lot of people in the story and honestly just a straight up guy. A great wizard and Quidditch player, too.

Charlotte: McGonagall, one of the most powerful witches and a truly smart women. She seems scary until you get to know her (or at least that was my experience with her in the game). The best teacher in Hogwarts.

Daisy: Tonks, Daisy kind of camo through this game and Tonks is one of my favorite characters. Daisy is very likable and an overall stellar witch.

Julia: Luna, can be ditzy sometimes and not really know what is going on but is one of the best friends you could ask for. Not to mention she can teach you how to keep away the nargles.

Toph: Neville, an acquired taste, but probably one of the most genuine people to play this season. He is a good friend and loyal all the way. 10/10 knows his plants.

Me: Fluffy, the three-headed dog. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I’m adorable but scary at the same time. Also I like to sleep so.

Answer to Charlotte:

As you said, I wasn’t banking on jury management during the season. I played a very cut-throat and “back-stabby” game because I knew if I played any other way I wouldn’t be sitting here tonight. As I said in my opening statement I partially had a hand in almost everybody leaving during merge. I purposefully targeted castaways that would get between me and other people who I could work with… even if I was aligned with said castaway. Part of the reason I targeted Ali because he got between my alliance with Toph and Drew. Part of the reason I targeted Drew because he got between alliances I had with you, Toph, and Ruthie. Part of the reason I targeted Ruthie because she got between my trio with Nicholas and Julia. Lastly, part of the reason I targeted Nicholas because he got between my alliance with Julia. Especially with jury being constructed of J.D. (somebody who I have history with), Ali (one of the only people who actually tried to get me out and expose me), and one (now two) people who have me deleted as a contact, I did not feel like jury was going to be so keen on my gameplay. I feel it is better to own my ruthless game-play because if I didn’t get out certain people in the pecking order I wanted it would not be realistic for me to be sitting here, or if I was I would be labeled as relying too much on my idols and would probably lose that way. I am proud of the game I played and I don’t think I would really change anything. Thanks for the question.

Answer to J.D:

I can’t really sort everyone but I’ll try and sort the people I was on a tribe with. Most of these are probs wrong but I tried ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

L.A: Gryffindor

Adil: Ravenclaw

Jenny: Hufflepuff

Jenna: Gryffindor

J.D: Slytherin

Ali: Ravenclaw

Drew: Ravenclaw

Ruthie: Gryffindor

Nicholas: Slytherin

Charlotte: Ravenclaw

Daisy: Slytherin

Julia: Gryffindor

Toph: Hufflepuff

Nick: Ravenclaw

Answer to Daisy:

In my opinion Toph played a much for sporadic game. He was loyal, yes, but he sort of just went with the flow and followed people. He was used as a random vote in most of the game and never really came up with any game moves by himself during the merge. Julia had a second chance in this game and had already been eliminated. You could consider that as port of the game or as saved by a twist, but she did get voted out which you have to think about when casting your vote tonight. Julia also told me multiple times that there were tons of people she had not communicated with at all this game, even Toph told me last night that her and Julia haven’t exchanged words in over a month. Julia as well didn’t conceive any of her own “big game moves”.

For the reason I stated in Ruthie’s answer I would probably still be biased and vote for Julia because I worked with her since practically day one. I do think you played a good game, but you kind of slept UTR because you had Jenny’s super idol.

Adil: Even thought I was on a tribe with you for a very short time and didn’t talk to you that much, the few times we spoke I thought you were a very nice guy. Also you are from the U.K. so get shook America.

Jenny: I absolutely fucking love you. I came into this game instantly wanting to be aligned with you and was lucky I was placed on the same OG tribe as you. If you put time into this game you could have easily smoked us all because everyone thinks your rad. I was literally debating playing the opal necklace on you when you were going to self-vote but then I knew all hell would break lose and everybody would be pissed at me.

Jenna: I have honestly seen you “grow up” through ORGs. You are super fun to play with in these games and are such an interesting and crazy character. I wish we had the opportunity to work more closely this season, but you obviously were playing the game well because you made one of the most crackt votes in the season.

J.D: You are a fucking badass, even though I don’t think you really like me, but I respect you a lot and I think you played really strong, especially for being able to comeback from redemption twice.

Ali: You were one of the only people who tried to come for me this game and I give great kudos for that. I was gag’t when you played the wand and almost sent me home with an idol. You were super fun to play with and I wish we could have worked more closely at merge.

Drew: You are genuinely one of the smartest and funniest people I’ve met in this community. I was super excited to have a chance to play our first game together and I thoroughly enjoyed working with you. You were really running this game and had a lot of people who wanted you to stay. I know you have me deleted or whatever but I really do not hate you, I just knew if I wasn’t able to get you out I’d have a slim chance of making it to the end or winning.

Ruthie: Bitchhhhhh you knew I fucking love you. You are one of my favorite people in this community and I was so shook when my one vote sent you home. I enjoy playing with you every time and even if we weren’t number #1s this game it was so fun playing with you. You had a really under-rated game and I would have loved to see how you would have done if I wasn’t cast in this game. You were close to a lot of people and nobody really saw you as too big of a threat.

Nicholas: You were so fun to work with and you were truly my number one from the start. I knew you had really good connections with a lot of the jury and would probably beat me in the end. If Charlotte didn’t win immunity that round I think you would have easily made final 4.

Charlotte: I am so glad I had the opportunity to meet you and play with you before I go on hiatus. You were one of the sweetest and coolest people I’ve ever worked with in an org. I felt so bad about getting you out but I felt you were my biggest competition and was most likely going to be the reason I was voted out or lost at FTC. You played a really good game and you should be proud of that. Easily P.O.T.S.

Daisy: I was so happy I could play with you into the end game this time because other games we played it didn’t end up like that. You played a very fluctuating game and had a lot of ups and downs. I would have been really curious to see hwo you would have done if you had more OG Firenze at merge or if you had more time and energy to play the season out. Thanks for asking me a question J

The main reason I was telling you how I wanted out Drew was because I was testing the waters to find out who was really close with him and who was not and I wanted to confide in you that he was somebody we needed to keep our eyes on. It didn’t make sense to vote out Drew while redemption was in play because he would easily have come back and targeted my ass hard core. I was not very close with Jenna in this game and I had the Toph and Drew alliance on the side, which I really wanted to stick with because I knew after Drew left Toph would be loyal to me and stick with me for the long haul. If I could go back I would not change my vote, nobody knew how long Redemption was going to last and having Drew on my side was something I believed to benefit me especially since he was connected to a lot of people I hadn’t been on a tribe with leading up to merge. If there was anything I would change about my game… I don’t really think so. I got people out in the order I mostly wanted and was able to make FTC and have a strong case for the jury. I do not believe I relied on immunity wins, I had very strong social bonds with a lot of people not to mention multiple idols which would have saved me if I didn’t have immunity. The immunity basically served as a way to allow me to keep my idols as long as possible and to build my case at FTC. Even when I didn’t win immunity I was still able to stay in the game, such as during final 6 and final 5. There was a never a time I thought I would leave because I didn’t win the challenge because you have to remember I had the Thestral idol secretly in my pocket since round 2, I didn’t really think I was going anywhere if I didn’t manage to win an immunity.

I appreciate your after talk about how “not voting someone solely based of jury management…” because you being able to make it to final 4, makes you have, in my opinion, the most crucial and insightful information on how the jury should vote.