#funny that age is cringe only when you're weird if you do go out clubbing and getting drunk and like football no one would care

[anauwhere]

It's a sad life if you think you're too old to enjoy things in your 20s, even sadder if you make someone else feel like that on your behalf.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Nance is successfully flirting rn, you'd be so proud Buster: If it was 'cause of me, yeah, but nah know-it-all strikes again, like Rio: 😒 Rio: We're a team, bitch Buster: I'm just playing Buster: Calm down Rio: Hmm Rio: You play too much Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: I'm just joking too, duh Rio: Entertain me 'fore I have to thirdwheel this Buster: I reckoned you'd easily entertain yourself Buster: Hence my lack of invite Rio: Babe Rio: You really wanted to come to the gay club? Buster: I really wanted to be with you Buster: You just happen to be there Rio: You know I always wanna be with you Rio: but this was booked in, you should do something fun too Buster: 😒 Rio: Don't be grumpy with me baby Rio: Who am I coming Home to? Buster: I know Buster: It's not your fault I have nothing to do Rio: Sure between us we can think of something Buster: Yeah? Rio: 'Course Rio: know-it-all, babe Rio: don't act like you forgot Rio: What do you wanna do, do you wanna go out do you wanna stay in, do you wanna be with people do you wanna be alone Rio: What's the vibe Buster: I wanna go out too Buster: It ain't right that my sister is but I ain't Rio: Yeah, got you trippin' Rio: are you thinking food or a bar or a club or something else altogether Buster: I don't care Rio: I'm looking Buster: You really must be not feeling that club Rio: I'm not here for me, like Rio: obviously I've been on the floor being gaybait but you know, I missed you Buster: Good to know Rio: Jealousy need not extend that far Rio: in fact, can be dropped altogether 'cos I've just thought of the place and I bet you ain't been Buster: I'm being everywhere worth going so don't get your hopes up, babe Rio: Stop being difficult and start getting ready, boy Rio: [Directions] Buster: Fine Buster: Do you wanna tell me what to wear as well as what to do or nah? Rio: Yeah, if you're offering Buster: Go on then Rio: So much harder to mentally dress you than undress Rio: Give me some options Buster: Where's the fun in that? Buster: You're supposed to know everything Rio: It's gonna be like that, is it? Rio: Alright, test me Rio: [Pic she has of him] This top Rio: [Other] but with these trousers Buster: You sure? Rio: You wanna look good or not? Yes I'm sure Buster: [Sends selfie after probably ages faffing because well he's him] Rio: There's my baby Rio: Perfect Buster: You're cute Rio: Nah all you Buster: I miss you even more now Buster: Stop being nice to me Rio: I can't help but be nice to you Rio: you're very likeable Buster: 😂 Buster: How drunk are you? Rio: Not at all Rio: don't worry, I won't spread your secret loveliness around Buster: Pick your audience like Buster: I know my sister ain't trying to hear that tonight Rio: I'll find a random gay to tell how good my boyfriend is Rio: won't be obnoxious at all Buster: 'Course not Rio: Baby Buster: Yeah? Rio: Never mind, it's stupid Rio: we can talk about it when you're a few more drinks in, like Buster: Tell me Buster: It's alright Rio: It's just Rio: do you think Edie will hate me forever Buster: Nah Buster: She don't hate you now, not really Buster: You're just the easy scapegoat, you know Buster: It's shit but it's what she needs Rio: Maybe Buster: Come on Buster: Nothing's as simple as just hating someone, yeah? Rio: I wish it was Buster: It's good that it ain't though Rio: Good for who? Rio: Not her Buster: For you Buster: But when she sorts her head out, her too Rio: If only THAT was simple Buster: Yeah Buster: It ain't gonna be like this forever though Buster: Not to be that cunt but look at us Buster: Look at where and how we are Rio: We're alright, aren't we? Buster: Better than that, babe Rio: We're not fuck ups? Buster: We've fucked up plenty of times but nah Rio: Okay Rio: I love you Buster: Trust me Buster: I love you Buster: And this ain't a mistake Rio: I do Buster: Have a drink, dance, and turn that knowing brain off, yeah? Buster: It's gonna be alright Rio: Promise Rio: You too, I wanted to make your night better Rio: not fuck it before you got going Buster: You always make my night better Buster: Like you said, who are you coming home to Rio: You baby Rio: Even if we have to be respectfully quiet Rio: boo Buster: We don't have to be anything close to quiet, babe Buster: You know what my sister is like when she gets going Buster: She'll get wasted and we'll do whatever we want Rio: Maybe she'll be preoccupied herself Rio: the night is young Buster: Don't Rio: What? Rio: You know why people come to the club, babe Buster: 😒 Buster: That's my sister, I don't wanna hear it Rio: You're adorable Rio: she's heard enough of your exploits in her time, she probably weren't buzzin' either, boy Buster: Not from me she ain't Rio: Please Rio: You loved a brag Buster: Fuck off Rio: Easy Buster: Whatever Rio: 😞 Buster: Stop sulking you're meant to be having fun Rio: Love me I want attention Buster: 😂 Rio: 😒 Rio: Rude Buster: Babe Buster: You're just funny Rio: I just know how to ask for what I want, you meant to say Rio: 😏 Buster: Alright Buster: Start over Rio: Hm? Buster: Ask me again and I'll react how you want Rio: Oh Rio: Love me Buster: [Sends a kissy face selfie because he's a nerd] Rio: 😋😍 Rio: that's better Rio: thank you baby Buster: I love you Rio: You're the cutest Rio: and I love you mostest Rio: they just played 4 ABBA songs in a row Rio: 4 Buster: Sorry I'm a moody cunt Buster: It's just weird having Nance here Buster: Well, I was gonna ask how shit was going but there's my answer, like Rio: I know it is Rio: It's reassuring to know she doesn't hate you though, yeah? Buster: No more than standard you mean Buster: But yeah Rio: You're doing good, baby Rio: I'm proud of you Rio: and I think she's having a pretty good time Buster: Good Buster: I'm gonna have a drink and calm down myself now Rio: Sounds like a plan Buster: I wish you were here though Rio: I know you don't like sharing Rio: hard when your wifey's the life and soul, babe Buster: Never call yourself that again Buster: You sound like Indie Rio: Awkward Buster: Exactly Rio: Now she might actually hate me Rio: that one Buster: I don't reckon she hates you either Rio: I'll bet you Buster: How much? Rio: Moneys boring Rio: think of something more fun Buster: Name a fantasy, I'll do it for you if I win Buster: You do mine if I win Rio: Interesting Rio: I like it Buster: Are we on or nah? Rio: 'Course Rio: I can't lose Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I always win Rio: Nah babe Rio: Sorry but you're going to look so good taking that L, hope that's consolation Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: I'm just th Rio: inking what I want you to do most Buster: Same Rio: Don't get too attached to the idea Buster: Says you Rio: 🥊 Rio: You'll see Buster: I know you will 🥇 Buster: I've got this Rio: 😡 Buster: Behave Buster: Don't be a sore loser already Rio: Doesn't take a know-it-all to work out your fantasy would leave me sore Buster: 😏 Rio: Pervert Buster: You love it Rio: Yeah Buster: Tell me about yours Rio: Not giving you spoilers Rio: you don't get time to prepare Buster: Fine Rio: Hey, it's my fantasy not yours Buster: I'm just trying to find out what we won't be doing Rio: I don't wanna turn you on in public Rio: I'm not that kind of girl Buster: 'Course not Rio: I am mad though Buster: Why? Rio: Because everyone's getting off with each other and I'm just sat here and you're there Rio: and it's stupid Buster: Is that your way of telling me that my sister is hooking up with someone right now? Rio: I didn't say anything Rio: You don't wanna know Buster: But she is Rio: Shh Rio: don't tell her I said Buster: If I can't take the piss there's no point her even being here, like Rio: 😩 Buster Buster: What? Rio: Ugh Rio: you didn't hear it from me okay Buster: Behave Buster: I'm not gonna sell you out, babe Rio: I think she's alright looking Rio: not sat here staring, like Rio: but from my sneaky peeks Buster: If she ain't in her 40s its an improvement, yeah? Rio: Behave Buster: Come on Buster: Don't act like you haven't thought it Rio: I'm thinking if she's had kids she's looking well for it Buster: 😂 Rio: i'm getting another drink Buster: Good Buster: You gotta keep up Rio: Excuse you Rio: Miles ahead, boy Buster: You reckon? Rio: Are you kidding me Rio: I've lost track of all the free drinks I've been getting Buster: Nicely done Buster: Get the brag in Rio: 🤷 Rio: Everyone's fave Buster: You don't have to tell me Rio: Any excuse to talk to you Buster: Babe Buster: You know you don't need one Rio: Remember when we did though Rio: Remember, like it was ages ago Rio: feels it Buster: Yeah Buster: Lets never go back Rio: Sure? Rio: Now's your chance, like, already told me the engagements off Buster: When did I say that? Rio: You said I couldn't call myself wifey Rio: was joking on both, obviously Buster: Only 'cause it's cringe not 'cause I don't want you to be Rio: It's chill, babe, I know what's up Buster: What do you know? Rio: That you didn't really mean it Rio: it was just a heat of the moment deal, I get it Buster: Is that why you said yes? Rio: I don't know Buster: Yeah you do Buster: It either is or isn't the reason Rio: This is so humiliating Rio: I mean Rio: no, it obviously isn't the only reason is it but Buster: But what? Rio: Like I said, I get that it wasn't like binding Rio: I'm not holding you to it Buster: You don't get it, clearly Rio: What Buster: You never wanna hold me to anything I say if you don't wanna hear it Rio: Nah Rio: That's not what I'm saying Buster: That's what I'm saying Buster: When was the last time I said something I didn't mean? Rio: I just didn't want it to be a repeat of the 'I love you' situation Rio: but if it's not then, I'm sorry, like Buster: Forget it Rio: Obviously not Buster: Whatever then Rio: Don't be like that Rio: I feel really fucking stupid now Buster: You feel stupid? I'm the one that said it Rio: Yeah and I said that and now you think I don't mean what I said before Buster: Well you don't so Buster: Cheers for telling me, like Rio: Don't tell me what I do or don't mean Buster: You literally said that you didn't Rio: I did not Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I'm not drunk enough for this Rio: I said I thought you didn't mean it, that's not the same Buster: Like I said, forget it Rio: For God's sake Buster: Don't Rio: Well you know I'm not going to forget so stop saying it Rio: but if you don't want to talk right now I can't make you Buster: I can say whatever the fuck I want Buster: I don't want to talk right now 'cause you'll just reckon I don't mean any of it Rio: Mature Buster: Sorry I'm not 42 I'm sure it's not too late for Nance to give you some pointers on that score though so Rio: My point exactly Buster: If you're making a point, make a fucking point, like Buster: All your doing is giving me a headache Rio: My point is, you've not thought this through Buster: Fuck you Buster: You're not in my head even if you're trying to get under my skin right now Rio: I can't win Rio: Jesus Buster: It's not a fucking game, that's why Rio: I mean, if I'd just stuck with it, that'd probably be wrong Rio: I try to do the right thing and that's wrong too Buster: How is not believing what I say the right thing? Buster: You either know how much I love you or you don't Buster: And you either wanna marry me or you don't Rio: Well I wasn't exactly expecting it Rio: And it ain't that simple, ever, is it Buster: Yeah it is Rio: Just on this then? Rio: 'cos how do you expect me to keep track when you swap sides like this Buster: What is that meant to mean? Rio: You said that it ain't that simple, about Edie and Indie and all of that Rio: why is this different Buster: 'Cause its not like I was like we're going to Vegas right now, pack a bag Rio: Yeah well, good Rio: even so you probably want to give yourself more time than you have Buster: No I don't Buster: But you take it Rio: I'm just saying Rio: this is your first time, like Buster: Do you wanna be more patronizing? Buster: Go on, I reckon you can go harder at it Rio: This is just what everyone else would say Rio: I'd be shit if I didn't Buster: I already told you that I don't care Buster: You said you didn't either Buster: But whatever Rio: You can't not care at all Buster: Why can't I? Rio: Because it's impossible Buster: Try me Rio: Right Buster: Right Rio: Is there anything I can say or should I just go? Buster: Do what you want Rio: Doesn't answer my question but alright Buster: 'Cause I can't tell you what to say Buster: Or do Rio: I'm not asking you to, I'm asking if there's any point in me trying right now Buster: Well there's no point giving up ever, is there? Buster: Who are we? Rio: Okay Rio: Maybe you're right, should we just forget this ever happened Buster: I don't know Rio: Can you? Buster: I don't know Rio: I wasn't trying to be a dick, I was just trying to do the right thing for you Rio: but that's up to you, I know Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm really sorry Buster: Just come home, yeah? Buster: I will too Rio: Yeah Rio: I'll see if I can convince Nancy Buster: She's got enough hair to pull her by Rio: I really ain't out here tryna brawl Buster: How drunk is she? You might not have to Rio: Fairly but not like, call out the fam, stalk your ex levels Buster: Well, that's something Rio: I thought so Buster: If you need help my cab can swing by you and we can share it back Rio: That'd be good Rio: thanks Buster: No need to thank me Buster: Purely selfish 'cause the sooner we can make Nance leave the sooner we can Rio: Did you like the bar? Buster: Yeah Buster: We should go back Rio: I knew you would Rio: I'm down Buster: Just me and you though Rio: Of course Buster: I'm sorry that tonight's been a shitshow Rio: That ain't your fault Rio: nothing that can't be fixed, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm taking the blame though Rio: No you ain't Rio: Literally how can you, good luck Buster: 'Cause my shit mood started it Rio: Nah Rio: but I don't care if we can be friends again Buster: As long as you don't want to only be friends Buster: 'Cause that's going a bit far Rio: Don't be silly Buster: Not trying to have a sleepover with my sister, like Buster: That's all I'm saying Rio: Me either Rio: but I think your family would be a little put out to find me on the sofa so Rio: glad we're on the same page Buster: Babe, you know I'd take the sofa Buster: But yeah Rio: You can't be being a gentleman even when we're fighting Buster: It ain't even it's just not being a worse cunt Buster: And not having my mum fight me as well Rio: You've been raised too right for that clearly Rio: You're not even close to being that cunt, trust Buster: You're shamelessly biased Buster: But cheers Rio: Nah Rio: not to start pitting you against 'em but I've dated many actual so Rio: I know Buster: Yeah Buster: Fucked but true Rio: It is what it is Buster: I hate it though Rio: I know Rio: but that shit's well in the past Buster: I know Rio: I think Ryan's moved on, like Buster: Good Buster: I don't have to find the cunt on my doorstep Rio: I'd question if he was ever that devoted but don't need to jinx it Buster: Yeah, like speaking of forgetting something Rio: It's weird Rio: not having to think about that anymore Rio: or think about drew or think about hiding us Buster: The only way is up, literally Buster: Not to get a non-Abba song stuck in your head but Rio: You're funny Buster: I'm hilarious Buster: And I miss you Rio: You're on your way aren't you Buster: Never fast enough Rio: that's what she said Buster: Now who's funny Buster: Coming for my 👑 again, babe Rio: What can I say? Rio: I want you outta all of that Rio: 👑 included Buster: So that's why you picked all the clothes you picked, is it? Buster: It makes so much sense now Rio: 😏 Rio: and you looked good Rio: as if i need any incentive to want you Buster: Could've been wearing a corset but the girlfriend has spoken and she ain't got time for that Buster: You looked fucking hot, wasted on that club and anywhere I'm not Rio: Adding that to potential fantasy list now Buster: 😂😏 Rio: Only got yourself to blame for giving me ideas Buster: No blame or shame Buster: I'd look great Rio: I know 🤤 Rio: Stop distracting me Buster: Fine I'll save it for the cab ride home Buster: I can see Nance but I can't see you Buster: Tiny angel problems Rio: Have you forgotten you invited her along for the ride or what Rio: and how dare you suggest I get lost in the crowd Buster: Come and kiss me if you can reach my beautiful face Rio: You're an idiot Rio: a tall, handsome idiot Buster: Fuck, you look so beautiful Rio: There we go, not too painful Rio: though she did smack her head on the way in Buster: 😂 Buster: She can blame tomorrow's headache on that, like Rio: Yeah, bet she was wishing she was short too now 😏 Buster: Then she'd look even more like mum Buster: I don't know if that's the goal or nah Rio: Probably not hers but I wouldn't be mad Buster: I would Rio: 😂 Rio: Unlikely you gotta worry about that Buster: Good Buster: Do I chat this much shit when I'm drunk or is it just her? Rio: Sure, when you're drunk 😉 Rio: Nah, you don't though Rio: she just saves up her words, like Buster: Literally Buster: Shut up, Nance Rio: You don't need to listen, the cabbie's feeling it Buster: Distract me Rio: You're meant to be distracting me, remember Buster: Am I? Rio: So you said Rio: but knew you was all chat, it's cool Buster: Shut up Buster: When have I ever been all chat? Rio: 😏 Rio: Just hoping you'll prove me wrong babe Buster: Come here Buster: You're so far from me, like Rio: How far can I really be Rio: but okay Buster: That's better Rio: Is it? Rio: What about that? Buster: I'm not mad about it Buster: So you can't be if I do this Rio: I wouldn't call it mad Rio: Frustrated, maybe Buster: Poor baby Buster: Does that help? Rio: mm Buster: Use your words Rio: I can't Rio: for two reasons now Buster: Some kind of sound is gonna come out, I know you, so what would you rather, babe? Rio: Please don't stop Buster: I won't Rio: I swear I'll be quiet Buster: We'll see Rio: I've needed this all night Buster: I know Buster: I'm here now, babe Rio: I don't like going out without you Buster: Me either Buster: Especially when you go out looking this good Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: You're so hot, don't you know that? Rio: I didn't even try tonight though Buster: Come on Buster: You don't have to Rio: I'm glad you think so Buster: Well now I can't stop until you agree with me Rio: Baby Buster: Tell me how hot you are Rio: 😶 Buster: If that's how you want it Buster: Guess I'll have to make you Buster: Like this Rio: Okay okay Rio: I'm hot Rio: but you're hotter Buster: I see through your shameless flattery but I like it Rio: It's true Buster: Nah Buster: You're fucking stunning, like Rio: Shh Buster: You're the one whose meant to be being quiet Buster: Not me Rio: I don't wanna talk right now Buster: I know exactly what you want Rio: Then stop teasing me Rio: I can't take much more Buster: Say please Rio: Buster Buster: Go on Rio: I swear I'm gonna make you pay when we get home Buster: Promises, promises, babe Buster: I still wanna hear it while you're still able, like Rio: Fuck Rio: I can't fight it, you know how you got me Rio: Please please please Buster: Good girl Buster: Okay Buster: Now you've earned this Rio: Oh God Rio: put your fingers in my mouth Rio: I'm gonna scream Buster: Jesus Rio: I can't help it Rio: just please don't stop whatever you do Buster: Kiss me Buster: You can moan as loud as you want then Rio: Can we Buster: If she hasn't noticed anything else we're doing I think we're fine Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just so fucking hard to stop kissing you once I've started Buster: Then don't Buster: I can fight with her about it tomorrow if needs be Rio: Fuck it Rio: I need you as close as I can get you Buster: Yeah Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too, Rio Rio: Don't forget Buster: Never gonna happen Rio: Good Buster: Fuck me Buster: How do you keep doing this to me Rio: 'Cos I know you Rio: I know exactly what makes you tick Buster: I want you so bad right now Buster: I can't handle it Rio: I know Rio: I can feel it Rio: Not far now Buster: Touch me Rio: Is that what you want, daddy? Buster: I need you to Rio: How do you want me to touch you Rio: Where Rio: You gotta be more specific Buster: [Takes her hand and puts it where he wants 'cause what are words, am I right? Lol these shameless hoes] Rio: Oh Rio: so you don't have to use your words Buster: Is that what you need, babe? Buster: There's plenty of things I can whisper to you if you want Rio: You know what your voice does to me but this is about you Buster: It can be about both of us Rio: Pleasing you is what gets me off Rio: You know that Rio: let me make you happy Buster: Oh fuck Rio: Better? Buster: As long as you don't stop Rio: When I've only just started? Rio: Who do you take me for Buster: There are a fair few other distractions in this cab Buster: I'm not saying it'd be your fault Rio: Rude Rio: There are nicer ways to tell me to try harder but understood Buster: Baby Buster: I'm saying you're doing so good that I might get us caught Buster: Especially if you're gonna go any harder Rio: Fine Rio: I'll be good Buster: I know you will Buster: You are Rio: Tell me Buster: Christ, Rio Buster: You're so fucking good Rio: Only for you baby Buster: We have to stop, I can't be quiet anymore Buster: I can't Rio: Okay Rio: Mean it this time, well Rio: I don't wanna but I will Buster: I don't want to either Buster: Tell me we don't have to Rio: We do Rio: 'cos I wanna hear you Buster: How far from home are we? Buster: I can barely think Buster: 'Cause I wanna be inside you Rio: Like five minutes, I think Rio: five too long now Buster: You mean Nance's running commentary ain't making the time fly for you, babe? 😂 Buster: What is she even chatting about now, like? Rio: 😏 Not quite Rio: Idk, but this is lowkey better than the flirting she was doing earlier so Rio: success or failure? not sure Buster: You make me laugh Buster: Someone must have liked it though Buster: Or maybe just her face? Rio: Awh babe, that's nice Buster: We share genetics, It's impossible for her to be ugly Buster: Simple as Rio: 🙄 Rio: So close Buster: You know it's true Buster: I'm not gonna have an ugly twin Rio: I'm not saying it isn't but you know, she's not reading this Rio: you can just be nice 😂 Buster: Well right now I only wanna be nice to you Buster: Sorry, like Rio: Not gonna complain Buster: Good Buster: Me either. I'm done being a moody cunt for the evening Buster: You'll be glad to know Rio: I'm still sorry Buster: Don't be Buster: I mean it Rio: But I do too Rio: you know that, yeah Buster: 'Course I do Buster: But like, I don't want it to be that way, I only said what I said 'cause of how much I wanna be with you Buster: Not to cause a rift or whatever Buster: And I only said it was simple 'cause for me it is, not I ain't a confused kid, you know Buster: Not like they are Rio: It won't Rio: cause a rift Rio: I know now Rio: I just had to make sure so then I can know where I stand Buster: And where's that? Rio: Well, I wanna stay with you too Rio: Obviously Buster: For forever though? Rio: Yes Buster: Then literally what were we fighting about? Rio: I did try to say Buster: I'm so sorry Rio: Shh Rio: It doesn't matter now Buster: I love you so much Buster: Seriously Rio: I know Rio: and I love you just as much Buster: Sorry Nance but I have to kiss you again Buster: Even if we are nearly home Rio: She can deal on this one Buster: Yeah 'cause I won't be able to deal if I don't Buster: So fuck it Rio: We kept it practically PG-13 back here Buster: And we kept it secret long enough Buster: [smooches and somehow that's the most dramatic PDA of all 'cause they highkey and Nance spies it 'cause typical] Rio: Oops Rio: 😳 Buster: I'm not sorry Buster: I ain't said anything about her club hook up Buster: Yet, like Rio: God at least give her 'til morning 😂 Buster: Obviously Buster: More fun that way Rio: I'm having nothing to do with it Rio: I just wanna get outta this cab without a fine Buster: Easy Buster: We're basically home anyway Rio: Easy if you watch your mouth, boy Buster: I'm gonna give her time to get properly mortified, hence waiting until the AM and sobriety Buster: Don't worry Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: I hope she's proud af just to fuck with you now Buster: 😂 Buster: You did say the girl was cute, yeah? So could be Rio: Not my type but yeah Rio: not like, pull her away sharpish at any rate Buster: One day I'm gonna make you tell me what your type of girl is Rio: 😏 Buster: But come on, let's finally get the fuck inside Rio: Thank God