#fun fact: any writing that i don't plan on posting is always written on wattpad

[duffmckagans]

So, Kelsey.

I’ve been trying to keep up with tumblr a bit more lately, but I’m still pretty sporadic with it. So correct me if I’m wrong, but am I to understand you’re rewriting the Love Letters books from scratch? And if so, I cannot contain my excitement. Details, please. 😆👏🏼

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Tell me, please. Am I going to have to redownload Wattpad lol? 😂

I have missed Val and Jill TERRIBLY.

so, shells.

i totally understand. i think i ghosted tumblr, like 7 months of out of 12 of them last year. i'm really only back on it with regularity for the past week or two now that i've kinda gotten my spark back. i hope to see you here more often!

but i can also super easily clear up your question here and say yes! i really don't know why i'm doing this, considering i have another book to be working on and big plans for school, but here we are. 2025 is my year of writing for fun again after my very bad 2024. and, in this case, my writing for fun means melodramatic rpf that i take too close to heart. my other book is so heavy and close to my actual life anyway, so i'm letting that one cook in my head as i finish up some law school admissions stuff.

sooo details. essentially, yes, i'm starting from the beginning. while people will have read a version of this story already, i figured some people who weren't here in the beginning last time might have fun experiencing it from the top with me. also, like, i need time to catch up and write the other stuff. i'm working in advance as always and have 31.5/40 chapters of rocket queen re-written, so that should keep people entertained a while. i've said this a few other places, but the story is pretty identical to the original in most regards, except there's some pretty substantial growth given to characters/storylines, i've added a few scenes, taken away a few scenes (aka useless ones that got folded into others), and overall just approached it with the brain of a 22-year-old that's been through it instead of an 18-year-old who hasn't. i feel like the drama is even more heightened this time for some reason, except it's not exactly catty? and more just like cognizant of the fact that this book is just fucked up situation after fucked up situation. i'll probably jump off a bridge if people start taking sides or pull that #team[insert name] here again, but that's a bridge to cross when i get there. i've tried to put up some form of guardrails against petty inbox wars, etc, bc i do not want to put up with that! again.

later books, i should also say, will have a few more substantial differences, one comes to mind that i will not be saying, but in general, same schtick. valerie and axl in their own world, jill and izzy on and off every ten days, izzy and axl exerting psychological warfare on each other for hundreds of thousands of words, and general mischief, debauchery, and other behaviors likely listed in the dsm-5.

more details. i plan to start posting on the 22nd of january. it'll be once a week, every wednesday, as per usual. chapters may be a bit shorter than people remember, but i can assure you it is to the benefit of literally everybody. it means you're not reading the same point reiterated 10x. everything is cleaner, tighter, and better. i will happily be here every week to answer any questions, comments, or concerns (excited about this), and i'll be posting on both wattpad and ao3, so if you don't want to go through the hassle of redownloading wattpad (so real), you're more than welcome to read on ao3! i've found it's just a matter of reader preference. i've always been an ao3 girl, but wattpad is certainly a bit more interactive for people who like to comment, etc. also you get the fun perk of seeing the book cover.

but, anyway, yes, join me over here again!! i'm dragging everybody who will come with me down into this pit because that's apparently what we were all lacking from life: gnr fanfic 😌

[freezethebeez]

late night catalyst!ranboo ramblings

transcribed from his mind onto paper. takes place somewhere around ch 14/15 which doesn't make much sense now but will in a month or so <3

fully thingy below the break :]

-

I know you don't like me and I know you're afraid of me and my hands that hurt and my teeth that kill but can you just hold me?

Just for a bit. Just for tonight– just for right now. Maybe–

Wrap your arms around me and maybe–

Your hands tracing patterns on my back sounds lovely right now but playing with my hair works, too, I think– if that's what you want.

But–

-

Don't just– don't let me go to bed alone tonight. I can't– I won't make it another night without anyone beside me, I don't think–

You can just lay beside me.

That'll work, I think.

I can listen to your heartbeat from afar; I don't need my ear pressed against your ribcage; my head doesn't need to lay on your chest.

Maybe I could hold you instead.

Maybe that would be better. Maybe. Less selfish.

And me holding you is the same as you holding me kind of so maybe it'll fill the same holes in my heart.

Do you think it could beat with yours, too, one day?

Do you think I could hold your hand and keep it warm in the winter? Do you think we'll make it to winter at all? Do you think I'll ever be able to look at you and not your neck? Do you think I'll drain you of your blood before then? Do you think–

Do I think I even love you at all?

No. No, I do. I– I think I do.

I think there's a part of me that loves you, at least. I think that very same part wants you dead, but it– it loves you a little.

I want to love you, too.

A little.

Maybe if– maybe you could just...

Could you sleep in my bed tonight?

Could I sleep in yours? Would that make it easier?

Maybe it would be– if I slept here tonight. Just here– just with my forehead pressed against your back.

Maybe I can fall in love with you here. Maybe you could turn around and kiss me goodnight.

Can you kiss me goodnight?

Would you– would you want to?

I would, I think.

Only if you asked me to.

Because I think– I think if you asked me to kiss you, I would. And I think if you– I think I would want to. I think I would. I think– I think it'd be nice and you'd be... nice. And I think you'd– I'd love you then, maybe.

Is that what love feels like?

I don't know.

I don't– friends don't– are we friends? I don't think we... are. I'm not– I don't want to– if you don't–

You can't read my thoughts, I don't think.

At least I hope you can't.

Uh.

I'm sorry.

Goodnight.