#fun fact tho! I recently had an intern with the same name as me and at that time it was confusing af cos she was always with

[kibblemode]

Give me some fun facts about tix please there was a point in time inwas kind of obsessed with him and had a folder in my phone of him

HELPPPP thats really good. right away micah🫡

tixs backstory (regarding how he came to be anyway) is intentionally left vague and untouched on bc 1. idfk. 2. its funny and 3. i want to leave it up to interpretation tbh. but at the same time it is canon that hes like at least a billion years old. much much older than his own mom which is silly but WHAT EVER.

this might not end up being final but i like to think the scar over his eye was from grem but probably by accident....idk tho...

speaking of when he shapeshifts into something/someone he keeps his freckles and the scar. bc i like it and i think getting rid of physical traits like that would be pretty hard. also the freckles are actually a recent change i drew eugene with freckles once and thought tix would look cute with them too and i was RIGHT

i dont think ive ever actually told anyone besides art what actually Happened to tixs wife...her name is risa basically they met pretty recently after tix broke up with grem and she died during complications after having tiabi ÷( so now anything having to do with that kind of stuff scares him...so u can imagine daffodil being born would make him lose his shit lol.

these pic is THE most on model pic of him ive drawn. he looks like this.

btw rare EARLY early gq art who the hell is this get him away from meholy fuck this pic is huge sorry

iirc hes one first of the post-gq reboot characters i made, meaning i actually made him in i think 8th or 9th grade just like lenarr + zach as opposed to 7th grade when i made the villains...this was back when gq was in rpg format he was supposed to be a tutorial character i think. also yes okay he was very heavily based on bill cipher bc i LOVED gravity falls at the time. it was that and some random pic on deviantart i couldbt find if i tried. also im gonna be real the concept of his little pocket dimension he uses as a substitute for internal organs is based on something i made up for something else fandom related thats so batshit insane im taking it to my grave

tix was supposed to die in the original cartoon version of gq....tbf he Did come back later but still. he no longer dies bc that plotpoint makes absolutely no sense now LOL

hes actually quite a good artist....see

personality wise hes literally just if dan from dan vs was an australian (oddly capable) single father with crazy powers. thats literally him. also hes not very emotionally mature in most situations BUT around tiabi hes literally a whole different person. to be a good role model i suppose

also this isnt lore related but its really really funny. one time a few years back someone on twitter gifted me voice acting for a pic of my ocs i drew (i dont have it anymore but trust me) and they gave tix a brooklyn accent. i STILL think that is fucking hilarious i drew this directly after. i can still hear him saying JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY ASS in the brooklyn accent and it makes me laugh whoever voiced that is my hero

btw did u know he cant taste things until After hes eaten them already. even then he can choose whether or not he even Wants to lol. also doesnt need to eat/drink/sleep but Can still feel ill effects of not doing those things sometimes just bc he was probably conditioned to

also he secretly is big into botany and collecting rare plants....probably bc his wife was a botanist...uu..

tix has most likely Met melody just bc of his status but doesnt actually like Know her as a person. this is a pretty big issue in the mothers day episode i have for s3/4ish

anddd jsyk his favorite band is ABBA. favorite song is voulez-vous

i cant think of much else but i like tix hes been the fan favorite for a really long time...also my first oc to have a kinnie iirc (i dont talk to them anymore BUT it did happen) hes literally my mary sue tumblr sexyman oc and its awesome

bomus pic from art. i could fill a book with all the fucked up tix pics hes drawn

[safetytank]

long-ass floral drama ahead

after the roaring successes of my Anders DragonAge Did Nothing Wrong & How To Dungeons And Dragons Good presentations, the host of the original had a follow-up DTL night and u KNOW a bitch is incapable of not doing Way Too Much while simultaneously leaving everything to the last minute

so here u go, customers i interacted with while working at one of the local florists between 2017-2018, organized and ranked for ur entertainment

commentary added bc most the slides were just a visual component to a textual joke & i won’t make u all sit through a 10-minute video rendition, u got shit to do

every single older guy cheating on his partner follows exactly the same script, it’s like they were made in a lab

some did manage to break away from the mold tho, usually younger guys asking sheepishly if we had “i’m sorry” balloons (we did) or the following 2 honorable mentions for bringing innovations to the field of cheating on ur wife

imagine using a BIBLE VERSE to try and convince your girl she should take u back bc something something FORGIVENESS

the audacity

the second honorable mention is the very first customer complaint my manager handled after he was hired on back in like 2012, which was a guy whose girlfriend had looked at his credit card statement the day after Valentine’s Day and saw he’d sent 13 other one-dozen rose arrangements so he tried to convince her it must have been a credit card glitch & that he’d call and get it sorted out and my manager was like “lmao fuck no you’re not getting a refund, u made ur bed now lie in it asshole”

number 4 is the time a customer wanted an order wired to chicago for a loved one’s birthday and have it be sent to their job and i was like “oh how nice where do they work” and they were like “the leather museum” and me, internally, thinking “wow like cowboy stuff :)”

it was not cowboy stuff

number three i don’t even give a shit about censoring the name on bc if you know Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life there’s no punishment u could enact upon me that would be greater than having to put up with Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life

this slide is an example of a normal message someone might write on a card that comes in a floral arrangement, like 4-ish lines of text on a little plastic fork that says “happy birthday, love NAME 1 and NAME 2″ or “sorry for your loss, love THE LASTNAME FAMILY”

Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald does not know how cards on floral arrangements work

like damn bitch just send a letter at that point jesus christ

fun fact this was also a wire order so the other florist called us on the phone to be like “uhhhhh is this....correct” and we had to be like “yeah” and they went “ok, cool, just checking, uh, so we had to staple 4 different message cards together to fit all of it” and we were like “yeah bet u did lol”

vickie fucking fitzgerald was a million billion years old and if u saw her name pop up on the caller ID you learned to fear it bc it meant you’d be trapped on the phone for between 10 and 20 minutes listening to her entire life story in between trying to take a gd floral order

one time she wanted a funeral basket sent out of state to FUCKING ALASKA and we’re on the east coast of the united states so we were like “ok well there’s a 4 hour timezone difference and it’s 8am here so they’re not even open yet, we’ll have to wait til 12pm when they open up at 8 and then we can wire it for you so we’ll take down your order and call u back when it’s time to wire it”

yall wanna guess how many times this bitch called back to waste our time before 12pm

VICKIE YOU WENT ON FOR CUMULATIVE HOURS ABOUT HOW YOUR HUSBAND WAS DIVORCING YOU AND I’M BEGINNING TO SEE WHY HE MIGHT WANT TO

#2 is of course the dumb horny bullshit, bc it turns out if u order online and the quality control manager isn’t paying A Lot of attention u can slip all kinds of shit into ur card messages (just don’t do the entire fuckin Iliad like VFF up there)

this one gets put in horny jail because of the sheer AUDACITY of contacting someone who has either 1. been broken up with/divorced recently, or worse, 2. THEIR PARTNER FUCKING DIED, and THEN TRYING TO THROW YOUR HAT IN THE RING WITH THAT “I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL, CATCH ME ON THE REBOUND BABY ;)” HORSESHIT

no comment

this one haunts me in the depths of night and will absolutely be the last thing i see when i close my eyes to slough off this mortal coil

this one yall get every single slide for bc the only reason it lives on in as much detail is due to me hopping on twitter immediately afterwards to preserve the memory while it was still fresh (the caller was not the ghost btw, she was a middle-aged acquaintance of the aforementioned Gay Nigerian Royalty Ghost)

shout out to every stock website i skimmed off for this presentation btw

we stan one gay ghost king (THIS JOKE WORKS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS)

WHY DID HE HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, YOU ASK

i cannot confirm literally any of this information please do not ask me to i was just paraphrasing what was told to me

here’s where we got into the really wild shit

if u ever worked retail u know this feeling

SO THE DELIVERY MANAGER COMES BACK IN THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL

and he’s like “so i walked in there to deliver the orders and the place was DECKED OUT in traditional fabrics, masks on the wall, everyone was dressed very traditionally, and i was like wow cool guess this guy was important” (he did not know about the International CIA Prosecutor stuff) and someone at the funeral home told him “oh yah we had to go all out bc the deceased’s family WERE A BRANCH OF THE NIGERIAN ROYAL FAMILY THAT HAD FLED TO THE UNITED STATES SOMETIME IN THE 80′S so obviously u can’t have a royal funeral and skimp on the decorations :)”

artist’s rendition

thank u for enjoying this little trip down memory lane also if u recognize urself or someone u know in any of these stories i blocked ur names out for a reason so don’t fuckin come at me ok

[bigbluebarns-blog]

ABLEISM REDUX

Well… There are so many different dimensions of disability that people can be ableist toward those with different disabilities than their own. …And it’s only in the last couple of generations (within my lifetime, at least) that Disability Rights groups have banded together in a common cause (Rather than, say: Rights groups for the blind working only for the blind, Rights groups for Cerebral Palsy working only for Cerebral Palsy, etc.).  Matter of fact, based on my own recollections, I think working together for universal access rights only really got any steam in the 1970s – when I was already a teenager.

Confession time: until relatively recently (like, the last 10 years, or so), as a physically disabled person, I was biased against those with intellectual disabilities, and would get quite insulted if anyone mistakenly thought I was “R

—–ed.”

@theborkplanet IDK HOW TO SEPARATE MY COMMENTS FROM YOURS AND COMMENTS FROM YOURS. HENCE THE CAPS. 

I WAS ALSO BIASED AND PROBABLY STILL AM SOMEWHAT, TOWARD PPL WITH INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES(ID). I TOO USED THE R WORD. GROWING UP MY EXP WITH PPL W/ ID WERE NEGATIVE OR GROSS, AND NO ONE EVER BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN SOMEONE’S ID TO ME, SO ALL I KNEW WAS NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS EG JO GRABS STUFF AND SCREAMS; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED HER AUTISM. MOE HAS DOWNS SYNDROME, IS OBSESSED WITH SAYING “BOOBIES” LOVES THE EFFING BEACH BOYS AND FARTS A LOT AND NEVER SHUTS UP; HOW ANNOYING; NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT PERSEVERATING, OR THAT DS CAN CAUSE GI PROBS SOMETIMES. AL MUTTERS, HE STINKS, AND HE KNOCKED OUT HIS AIDE SO I’M AFRAID THAT AL WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME AND KNOCK ME OUT; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINS HIS CONDITION, SO I GLEAN MY INFO FROM EAVESDROPPING and RUMORS. THE ABLE-BODIED ADULTS DIDN’T BOTHER TO PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING EVEN THO WE WERE ALL TRAPPED ON THE SAME SPECIAL ED BUS, SO THE PASSENGERS WITHOUT ID TALK SMACK ABOUT THE ONES WITH ID. THE ONE TIME I ASK, “WHAT’S AL HAVE?” ABLEBODIED ADULT SHAMES ME FOR ASKING AND BLATHERS ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY. NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY PREJUDICE; JUST RELATING EXP. I’M ALSO WORKING THRU IT BUT U R RIGHT; NEVER 100% DONE. 

I’m working through it, and like to think I’m getting better (and one huge part of that is learning just how deep and intertwined institutionalized ableism really is, in our societies). But as with being a White woman dealing with racism, I have to remember that it’s a case of continuing recovery, and not something I will ever be 100% over and done with.

Thanks for sharing, @aegipan-omnicorn. You’re lovely.

@bigbluebarns, I don’t personally know anything about suffering racism, being a white american myself. However, I do know a thing or two about suffering ableism, both at the hands of able-bodied people, and disabled people.

People are incredibly social animals and will band together in groups with other similar people. This is natural, and it is good. It can be healing and cathartic to hang out with people who “get it.” But this tendency can also have an extremely dark side, as we see with “isms.” This is going to get long, so I’m going to break it here in consideration of people’s dashboards. Again, I can only speak to ableism and sexism so please keep that in mind.

OMG, I LOVE THESE NAMES AND TRADEMARKS. DID U INVENT THEM?

Ableisms I have suffered at the hands of disabled people:

The Cripple Police™: These are the people who, in an overzealous bid for limited access available, arbitrarily decide who is disabled enough to use a mobility aid, bathroom stall, parking spot, and even sometimes the label of “disabled.” If you are not Crippled Enough, you can be subject to any form of social punishment they deem to be necessary.

I HATE THE CP AND I’M CONSTANTLY REMINDING PPL THAT U DO NOT HAVE TO APPEAR DISABLED IN ORDER TO USE HANDICAP PARKING. IT’S LIKE THEY WANT U TO WEAR A TAG STATING U R DISABLED SO THEN THEY CAN ASSESS IF U MEET THEIR RANDOM CRITERIA.

Example: I used to be able to walk longer distances with a service dog, but was still a high fall risk. My doctor (a licensed neurologist) prescribed me a parking placard so that none of us had to worry (as much) about me passing out in a parking lot where no one could see me, and getting run over. A lovely woman in a wheelchair, who just happened to park in the accessible spot next to me, proceeded to scream at me and my service dog all the way into the store. A manager rescued me by going along with my ruse of knowing him, and invited me into the back were I fucking hid away until they told me she had left the store. It. Was. Scary.

EGAD SOUNDS HORRIBLE. BUT YEAH THERE IS A DISABILITY HIERARCHY

The Born This Ways™ : The experience between people who were born disabled, and who acquired disability later in life, vary a great deal from one another. BTW ableist types actively minimize the experiences of other disabled people, simply because they hadn’t been baptized since birth by xyz. In other words, the suffering was not identical to their own, thus must be invalid.

Example: I became disabled after adulthood, and tried to find solace after being subjected to ableist responses from friends and family members who were unable to cope with the “broken me.” I found lots of great disabled people who helped me, but I also found people who routinely scoffed at my experiences, again informing me that I was not “disabled enough,” and suggested I was being deliberately weak, or histrionic. Sometimes it was almost eerily word for word what my ableist friends/family said. How strange…

I’VE SEEN THE ACQUIRED DISABILITY IS BETTER. TM ADIBS MIGHT IMPLY, “WELL I’M A QUAD, BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO EXP BEING ABLEBODIED; I’LL HAVE EXP U SADSACK LOSER BTWS WILL NEVER HAVE. I GOT TO BE NORMAL FOR A WHILE” MOST OFTEN I SAW IT COME FROM PARALYZED PPL WHO WISHED THEY COULD WALK AGAIN. I WAS BORN WITH CP AND AB PPL ACTUALLY ASKED ME “WOULD U RATHER BE BTW OR AD?” BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I SAID “BTW, CUZ THATS ALL I KNOW AND I’VE HAD IT FROM DAY1 FALSE EQUIVALENCY WHEREAS ADIBS HAVE TO ADJUST” NOW THO I KNOW THAT EVEN I AS BTW HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO CHANGING SYMPTOMS. DO U WANT 2 BE A TREE OR A MOUSE...UHHH...FALSE EQUIVALENCY ALERT, CAN’T COMPAPARE APPLE N ORANGE.

The Faker Police™: I think anyone with an invisible illness has experience with this one. This is when people who “look disabled” refuse to believe someone who “does not look disabled,” and proceed to treat them as hysterical attention seekers instead of…well, anyone else. These people often practice double ableisms–I have noticed that many also tend to judge Disabled Enough based on mobility aids. Then, they try to chase the “fakers” out of the community, because everyone knows “fakers” are why we have additional burdens added (like further hurdles to access, government aid, etc).

ALSO IF U HAVE AN INVISIBLE DISABILITY LIKE YOURS AND ME ALSO, I SEE THE “WELL EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED/SAD/TIRED.” I END UP FEELING LIKE I HAVE JUSTIFY THE DISABLING NATURE OF MY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TO A WEG. 

Example: Before my condition had progressed to me needing a mobility aid, I was already facing discrimination in the workplace. I requested an accommodation to have the crappy fluorescent lights removed from above my desk, as they provoke bad neurological symptoms. You’d think it was a little thing, but when I asked for advice on dealing with skeptical and belligerent management, I met the same reactions in some disabled people, followed immediately by “Fakers like you are why we see knee-jerk reactions like the word ‘no!’ Come complain when you’re actually disabled and need to have a ramp installed! Until then suck it up!”

The Totally Qualified Disability Judges™: This one seems to arise from the natural tendency of people to compare their situations to the situations of others. If they arbitrarily judge another person’s situation to be better or more favorable, then that person is not As Disabled, or Disabled Enough, or Disabled At All. Then, based on that judgment, they try to socially punish the condemned, or to excommunicate them.

Example: Some conditions are really straightforward and don’t vary widely. People with the condition all seem to have similar limitations. My condition is the exact opposite of that. I have the chronic form of migraine disease. Lots of people get migraines, but not all of them have more than 15 a month, and migraines can last anywhere from a few hours to three days. To some people, pain is the most disabling feature of a migraine, to others, the accompanying neurological weirdness is. (Migraines are often proceeded by cortical spreading depression, a phenomenon also exhibited in epilepsy. Just for an example).

So, when people hear what my condition is, they remember that one lady they used to know who had to lay in the dark for a couple days each month, and wonder why the hell I’m in a wheelchair. It doesn’t make sense to them (who cares that migraines don’t make sense to the most brilliant neurologists in the world), so they decide that I just must not be disabled. Or, if I am, it’s hypochondria. 

 I’VE SEEN: YEAH HAVE U TRIED XYZ CURE? IT REALLY HELPED THAT 1 LADY. IF U DON’T TRY XYZ WELL THEN UR LAZY N ALSO PROBABLY FAKING THE EXTENT OF UR DISABILITY?

Fun fact: Internalizing ableism from medical doctors, and from some close friends and family, and THEN the disabled people I came into contact with later, and from whom I seeked guidance, prompted so much self doubt that I had a licensed psychologist work me up for hypochondria and other related psychological conditions. It…turns out that I am not a hypochondriac. I could not find relief from all of these experiences until I encountered a neurologist familiar with my condition, and fellow disabled people who have been around the block, and who are not so embittered by their experiences that they deigned to expose others to the same.

For that reason, I will always be vocally critical of ableism within our community. I will not sugar coat it, nor will I flatter ableist disableds by giving them another name. That goes for my own ableism, too. Now that I have worked through a lot of my own, I can use my aids with confidence and obtain a freedom that is at least emotionally similar to the one I had when I first formed my adult identity (which was as an abled person).

AH YES, IN MY CASE, INTERNALIZED ABLEISM=ANXIETY N DEPRESSION. STILL NOT SURE IF DISABLED PPL CAN BE TECHNICALLY DISABLED BUT THAT’S JUST LINGUISTIC SEMANTICS.

CLEAERLY WE BOTH KNOW DISABLED PPL ARE CAPABLE OF ASSHOLERY.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO BOLD TEXT IN POSTS? #TUMBLR NOOB

For an example of sexism from women, see my post Never Underestimate Old Women, in which an old lady cashier schools us for self-righteous activism.

Thanks for the discussion!

[incorrectmidc]

50 Questions! Yaayyy~

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @theempresskaizer and since I can’t sleep (and I really love tagging games), here I am. Thank you, Ythmir! :) I feel you about your favourite pens btw. The only store that sells my favourite pen closed down recently here and the other store that sells it is in Manila. ;^;

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? AMPALAYA (bitter gourd). It was a traumatic experience. D:

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? if my laptop would just stop malfunctioning every 2 weeks, it would be nice.

3. Have you got any useless talents? i play three different instruments, and it’s not useful now... i think. i really wanted to be either an astronaut or a musician when i was a kid. dad refused to let me enroll at a music school in favour of a “more prestigious” university (parents’ words) so i feel it’s kinda useless now.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? ha! i’m an awesome procrastinator. is there even a word? lol. but srsly, i could be a good musician. if i just put effort into it. XD

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - well, the concept of beauty is relative. my preferences are kuroba mario, cosplayers hikarin and syo seunghyo, kimura tatsunari, matt bomer

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? my sister and i used to sneak into our parents’ room and play with our mom’s beauty kit, like we would mix the lotions, alcohols, colognes, powders and stuff while pretending to be scientists and whatnots. we even tried to eat our concoction, to see what it tastes like. xD good thing someone saw us. lol.

7. What is something you’re proud of? i can learn anything if i just put my mind into it. i’m good at studying (my dad made sure of it lol).

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? nosy. i don’t like nosy people. i’m more of a keep-to-myself person so i really loathe these kind of people.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? both. tho i really don’t like to lead that much since it’s too much work. the laziest person i know is me btw. but i can be a leader when i absolutely have to.

10. What kind of student are/were you? high school, both the teacher’s pet and the kind they hate since i tend to speak my mind. college, i am the ordinary student who doesn’t have any clubs since it’s too troublesome.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? yepppp!

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion clowns. i don’t like clowns. i hate mcdonald’s mascot.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? yes. kei tsukishima of haikyuu!! especially. :P

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? i don’t like parties. i never go to parties if i don’t have to. i hate large celebrations (birthdays, family and school reunions). i prefer the company of my closest friends and immediate family over parties. i only have 4 friends irl that i still keep in touch with tbh. on the other hand, drinking. i have yet to get drunk. lol. but when i have enough alcohol in me, i tend to become the philosopher. like, why do we even exist? are our existence significant or are we just a mere speck in this vast universe? yeah, that kind. oh, my friends and i usually go to karaoke when we get buzzed.

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? i’m not even sure i have fallen in love yet. i get long-time crushes tho. in fact, i still like this certain guy since i was in 1st year college. XD

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? the former. please refer to question 14 for the explanation lol

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? my dad tells me i have a landfill for a room. lol. i don’t mind. it’s organised chaos. XD

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy my room, on a rainy day with no one else at home and i have unlimited internet connection and books and coffee. and did i just mention i’m alone?

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? i don’t have one. not seeing myself getting married or having a child. i’m having another baby sister/brother soon tho so i think it’s enough. :D

20. What was your favorite book as a child? the two-can first encyclopedia series. i love the one that features the solar system.

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES A FIDGET SPINNER DO

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated fanfiction writers. i have nothing against fanarts but i would appreciate it if the same attention is given to fanfiction writers.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? kimura tatsunari hehehe

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? have the time, and the money, to visit japan and prague. and then go to russia. oh, travel the world. alone. XD

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? depends on my mood. sometimes i just want to see the world burn.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? what’s a fad?

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? telenovelas. i wanna live like the heroine back then and now i try to forget all about it. XDD

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? kindness is something i admire and at the same time so foreign to me. sure, i can be nice but i’m never kind. i will never be kind. i know this person who’s so kind to everyone and i wonder what it’s like to be like that.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) i’m a hoarder of cute/pretty notebooks and pens so every year, during my birthday, my family and friends always have a new notebook/pen for me. i even got a fountain pen for my birthday last year which i haven’t used until now. XD

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? yep. filipino/tagalog, english. this native dialect called cebuano and a little bit of ilonggo. i’m currently studying japanese (self-study cos paying for lessons is expensive). i’m shit at kanji tho.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? in the city tho not at the center of it.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? HAIKYUU!! my online bff has been convincing me to watch haikyuu!! for 4 years now and i was adamant at refusing cos i’m sure i’d hate it. i don’t even like volleyball. but when i watched it last year, i got hooked. now my main fandom is haikyuu!! //facepalm

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? noooo. i don’t like being put on spotlight. lemme work quietly in the background.

34. Favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! i love seeing the decorations and the lights. i even go to malls just to stare at the decors and listen to christmas songs. i even have my own christmas tree in my room. it’s a small one tho. with christmas lights and all. hihihi. and also my birthday. i can do whatever i want on my birthday. nyahahaha

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? i only have a plan when i’m writing. i don’t even know what i’m going to do with my life. orz.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) yes, there is, but i’d rather not forget it and experience it all over again. i’m content with the fuzzy feeling i get whenever i remember it. ^^

37. What hobbies do you have? playing games, going to cons, sleeping a lot, reading, and writing. my only extreme hobby is going mountain climbing. we even went once without any gears. it was fun but i’d rather not do something that unsafe again. o3o

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? the ability to learn different languages easily. wait, how can this be mildly useful? or maybe change my hairstyle at will? lol

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you that i’m 26. srsly, when i go to transact with government offices in behalf of the company i’m working for, they always think i’m an intern. wth.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out this sounds silly, but putting back the chiller part of the fridge. i dislodged it once and i spent almost half an hour trying to put it back. XD

41. Worst injury you’ve had? i never had one. not a broken bone or anything. i only got hospitalized 2 times - when i was 2 and 9, respectively. and both because of dengue.

42. Any morbid fascinations? i like skulls and blowing zombies heads off. my most favourite game of all time is left 4 dead.

43. Describe your sense of humor corny and dry. sarcastic even.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? in the gundam universe, like Cosmic Era, where people can live on another planet. i would relocate to saturn in a heartbeat.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at being patient. patience is not my virtue.

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through an hour of jogging for a whole month to prepare myself (and increase the stamina) for a mountain climbing activity 2 years ago

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) the ugly one. i don’t really like markings on my face.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? for a pessimist, i’m pretty optimistic. (wait, is that a song? lol)

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? tbh, compliments about writing and work are the ones i’m usually flattered with. tho i suck at accepting compliments.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you this is a fact. i have a resting bitch face so people often feel i’m always irritated/annoyed by them. 

you don’t have to do it if you don’t want tbh, but i’m tagging @lustfullyleocrawford @kakihoden @passengersaraht @emigotchi @leorysxi @oh-my-otome @spyroeden @acrispyapple @devanofficial @astridapples

[unbeast]

Cute Tags

I was tagged by @cafedetude​, keep em comin, these are fun xx

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal; use just enough milk for the cereal to soak up

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually receipts, sometimes postcards/birthday cards in envelopes

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: only if I’m sick and just with honey coffee: I just like iced capps

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, if I overthink it. The left side around my mouth isn’t as mobile so it looks stiff and awkward, and also there are these two veins or something on either side of my face that move towards my eyes when I smile and it looks very disturbing

6: do you keep plants? oh shit I forgot I have one, haven’t watered that thing in about 3 weeks

7: do you name your plants? no, sorry “that thing”

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? drama

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I don’t like to sing because it hurts my ears when I do, but I like to dramatically deliver song lyrics. Humming usually leads to me getting too riled up so I often steer clear of that

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? The first one that comes to mind is “Sarahhhh” aka the reenactment of Max not knowing what to do when his kayak is sinking

12: what’s your favorite planet? venus, baby

13: what’s something that made you smile today? a scene in the final episode of Stranger Things 2 that I can’t mention now because it’s still too soon

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? semi-bohemian, cozy, clean

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “Saturn is the only planet in the solar system that would float on water”

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? homemade lasagna

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. the time I gifted tampons with christmas jokes attached to the strings 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes, there���s your classic recap, poems, dumb questions, favorites lists, to-read/watch lists, semi-collages

20: what’s your favorite eye color?  “The kind of green that doesn't make a big deal about itself” which has... ugh okay for years now, this description of Sam’s eyes from Perks, it just. You know what eyes he’s talking about 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my topshop bag. It’s the first thing I purchased from topshop, and it ignited my addiction to the brand

22: are you a morning person? yes, metaphysically(?) (lol) I like doing things in the morning because time seems slower and I feel more productive and energized. Waking up’s the challenge tho

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? swingset

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? is this a common thing people do??

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? ehhhh I’m not too fond of any one of my shoes right now but grade 10 through 11 I was overly attached to one pair of indoor soccer shoes that I used as everyday sneakers

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? sunrise

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? their laugh!! Makes me so happy, can’t help but laugh along

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? proximity to wasps, walking across a valley on a rusty pipe with low guardrails

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks!! I have to sleep with socks because I get cold at night and if my skin is exposed, I get sick. I like comfortable, just-below-ankle-length athletic socks, would like to invest in some that I could wear my vans with w/o the socks showing because otherwise, socks makes my calves look bulbous when I wear skirts/dresses/shorts

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we had a really deep talk and sappy declarations of friendship

33: what’s your fave pastry? AHH! STAHHP, I could’ve dropped my ______

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Lami! A sweet little lamb I got from the dollar store when I first moved to Canada, very precious and dear to me. Carried her to school until grade four because I was scared there’d be a fire at my house and she’d die. I still keep her, of course!!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes, love stationary n pens! But never buy because, money. :/

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? tame impala

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? it’s so, so messy. I hate it! I like things clean but I just never have time to sort through it and it piles up and :( I’m disgusting

38: tell us about your pet peeves! when, in the winter, you have a scarf wrapped around your neck and then the wind keeps blowing it behind your shoulder so it’s softly choking you 

39: what color do you wear the most? black 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a troy bolton necklace that I believe Joyce got me for my birthday in, I want to say grade four or five. It’s perfect

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Ender’s Game

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Tim Hortons near the mall, makes the best hashbrowns and the iced capps are perfect balance of coffee and milk and ice, just A+

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? my roommate, on our walk home

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? on the skytrain, moments before I looked through an open apartment window and saw a naked girl flopping down onto a mattress, followed by a nude man jumping ontop of her like a flying squirrel. The illusion was shattered (yes, this actually happened and it was a lot to process)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? no !!!! never ever ever

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I was wondering why the baseball kept coming closer and closer, and then it hit me!

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? This spinach dish my mum makes with an egg on top? It’s slimy, and it’s a no from me

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I was scared of fish up until age 5 I believe, my grandma used to cut out paper fishies and flush them down the toilet to try and help me get over that fear. Now its probably... oof I can’t think of any atm but there’s soooo many

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes, I most recently purchased an After Laughter cd and cassette, I’m stoked

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? journals that I never use

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate the twinkling at the beginning of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everywhere” with Shalla

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? homeboy can like... get it, me talking about myself vs me talking about ______, there’s LOTS but I just can’t remember :’(

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I’ve seen all! 

RHPS: I’m “eh” towards the movie itself but the atmosphere of seeing it in a theatre is the best fucking experience!!! This weekend I went to a shadowcast for Halloween second year in a row, thinking of making it annual :)

Heathers: can quote it start to finish as though it were a favorite song, love this movie

beetlejuice: it’s good, Winona Ryder is such a gem, and the scene with the banana boat song is cinematic gold

pulp fiction: it’s good, not a favorite but I can appreciate it

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? can’t think of anyone rn

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? everything I do is dramatic, every point I’ve made has been made dramatically 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? genuine, genuine, genuine

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? made me feel loosey goosey, and yes 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? hi yes this is vodka aunt speaking, I like vodka. Wine mom is no one because wine tastes horrible 

59: what’s your favorite myth? I’ve never looked into myths, but Medusa just sounds like a riot

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes, poetry is nice, but it’s rare I find ones I really am a fan of

I like listening to T.S. Elliot read his four quartets and "Pins and Needles" by Dua Saleh

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? given: a tween magazine that I decorated with obscene language that ended up being secret-santaed to my theatre director. Received? Probably a shirt with a picture of a random blonde girl saying “nevermind” from my mom (sorry mom)

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? if I need refreshing wake up call, I’ll drink OJ

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? My bookshelf is organized by favorites, idc about my music

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? midnight blue at 10 pm

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? lotssss

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? any collection of flowers that are all white, or a collection of colors that are moody and vampy

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?  heavy, like I’m walking in water

68: what’s winter like where you live? hopefully no snow this year or ever

69: what are your favorite board games? Translated, it’s called “get angry, man” but essentially it’s Sorry

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? I haaaaate teaaaaa but chamomile if I HAVE to drink some when I’m sick

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes

73: what are some of your worst habits? ripping the skin off around my nails, biting my nails

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. genuine

75: tell us about your pets! I HAVE A BIRD NAMED CHARLIE AND HE IS TOO COOL FOR ME 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? a cog psy assignment 

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink, aesthetically; yellow flavourfully(?)

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? If I don’t ever see an unironic facebook minion meme ever again, I can tolerate them

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? can’t remember :( lots of cute things done by lots of cute people but I have a horrible memory

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? grey, no

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. you know the blue in Blue from Blue’s Clues’ fur, well that

82: are/were you good in school? I was, now I’m not 

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? ahhhh can’t think of any. I’m sure I will literally 2 seconds after I post this

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? no, I’m too indecicive and I can’t commit

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don’t, used to read archie digests though

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? yeah, as a concept (AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA)

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Bad Genius, Moonlight, Donnie Darko, The Matrix, What We Do In The Shadows

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? idk anything about art

89: are you close to your parents? not that close but i love em

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Vancouver, love everything

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? hopefully my family and I can vacation this year, it’s been a while

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drownnn

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? just down

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? @millport​

95: what are your plans for this weekend? this past HALLOWEEKEND I went to a frat party, saw a shadowcast of rocky horror, and spent time with good friends :) Next weekend sucks, I’m studying. 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? 

INFJ

Libra

Slytherin 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? would have been a long time ago, summer after grade 9. The hike was for five days and I was super sick, so I couldn’t realy heal properly. Plus, my period just started so everything felt shit. But overall I loved it lmao

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. semi charmed life! Not because my soul is like “ooh, meth” but it’s just a perfect song

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? past, so I could have the power to completely change my present

I tag @kabul1998 and anyone who is up for some tag-answering

[gemini-panic]

evens!

Ooh boy here we go. Bout to be a whole lotta info comin straight atcha.

Buckle up kids here we go.

2: last phone call.It was to my friend amelia today cause we were checking in on each other on our way to our service project for school. (It was an instrument petting zoo at a local elementary school. The kids were adorable. That’s all.)

4: last song you listened to. A cover of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun ( want to have fun) by a group called Love Canon. Trust me.

Have you ever…

6: dated someone twice?Nope.

8: kissed someone and regretted it?Nope.

10: been depressed?You better believe it buddy

This year have you…

12: had sex?Nope

14: fun fact there’s no 14… we’re moving on now

16: also can’t find a sixteen. Yiiikkkesssss

18: met someone who changed you?I mean not yet but whose to say it’s not gonna happen?

20: found out someone was talking about you?No and I really hope I don’t tbh.

22: literally this thing skips all the way to 26. What to h*ck

26: what did you do for your last birthday?I went to work getting the choir I intern with ready for choir tour. But like honestly, it was a bunch of fun so I’m not even mad. Plus my parents took me out to dinner so…

28: nope… no 28 either.

30: last time you saw all of your siblings at the same time?Sunday. I only have one sibling, my little sister. And I went home for dinner with the fam and she was there.

32: what are you listening to now?Tchaikovsky’s 6th symphony….. were studying it for music literature.

34: who’s getting on your nerves right now?OOOOHHH buddy let me tell you what. There’s this sweet freshman in my music program this year who shall remain nameless but however much I try not to dislike him I can’t help it. He has no concept of personal boundaries, he thinks he’s a way better musician than he actually is and the boy doesn’t hydrate I’ve never seen him drink anything other than soda and he wonders why he has so much trouble with his voice and I just… ughhhh. He’s also openly admitted to being too lazy to do all the work that comes with being a music education major but won’t consider changing even if it may be the best choice for him at the time being. Like that doesn’t mean he can’t come back to it later, but like I don’t think it’s the the right choice for him. Also he keeps touching me without permission even though I have explicitly told him not to. Okay that sounded hella bitchy… rant over… moving on.

36: favorite color?Purple :)

38: relationship status?Single.

40: male or female?Female.

42: secondary school. I went to two secondary school cause my school system was weird. Freedom intermediate and freedom middle school.

44: eye color?Hazel.

46: height?5'6"

48: what do you like about yourself?I answered this one in another ask you can find it there! :)

50: tattoos?No, but I have some that I want.

52: nope no 52. Sigh.

54: first best friend?Her name is Olivia and I’ve actually known her since the day she was born. She was born a little over a month after me and our moms were/still are really good friends and when her mom went into labor she called up my mom and told her to get tf to the hospital. Since I was still a smol squishy human I had to come with and since our moms were always hanging out so we’re we. And we’re still friends today and I love that.

56: see 54 I guess this thing is weird

58: aaaaannnnnd there’s no 58

Right now…

60: drinking Water

62: listening toMy roommate rant about boys on tinder. Whee.

Your future:

64: want kids?Eventually yeah. But not like soon. Not ready for that shit.

66: career?Choir director/ conductor

Which is better?

68: hugs or kisses?Aaaahhh I don’t know I like them both I can’t choose

70: older or younger?Older

72: nice stomach or nice arms?Idk arms?

74: hook up or relationship?Relationship. Definitely relationship.

Have you ever…

76: kissed a stranger?No. Nope. Have not done that. Probs will never do that.

78: lost classes or contacts?On time I locked my glasses in my dorm roomFor the entirety of winter break and didn’t know they were there till I came back….

80: broken someone’s heart?I don’t know. If I have they haven’t told me.

82: been arrested?Nope.

84: cried when someone died?Yes.

Do you believe in…

86: yourself?Yeah I think so… but also sometimes no. It depends.

88: love at first sight?I mean I’ve never experienced it but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Seems highly unlikely tho…

90: santa clause?No but I still love him.

92: angels?Yeah I think so. Even if the angels aren’t the way we usually think of themIf that makes sense.

94: someone you pray every day for. My dad. My family’s under a lot of stress financially right now and he’s feeling all the pressure of feeling like he has to single handedly keep the family afloat financially and it’s eating away at him. I’m just hoping things can get better and that he can see that we’re all willing to help out. (I work two sometimes three jobs I mean…. it’s possible)

96: from all of your exes who have you cared about the most?Probably my most recent (I’ve only dated two guys btw) and I mean if we’re being honest I still care about him and worry about him a little even if we aren’t talking (I kind of feel like he’s avoiding me so I’m gonna give him his space and let him decide if he ever wants to talk to me)

98: out of everything in the world what do you wish for?Peace. I want there to be peace, I want to feel peace. Just… peace.

100: do you like the way you look?I mean yeah. Sure there are areas that I want to improve but over all… yeah I guess I do like the way I look.

[so-very-small]

for the latest ask meme, I hope you got some time to kill :P 2, 4, 6, 12, 14, 17, 20, 24, 25, 28, 47, 50, 54, 60, 61, 62, 67 (atm and all time), 74, 80, 92, 95, 105, 107, 113, 117, 125, 129, 143, 148, 167 ok have fun :D

Hell yeah I have time to kill thanks anon!

under a readmore bc this is long af

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I want a opossum? And a raccoon. And a chain chomp. Chain chomps are adorable I’d totally have one as a pet

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Super Paper Mario, it’s still my absolute fave!

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Doesn’t talk much, thinks way too much.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

TEA. I drink like 2-5 cups a day, currently have five boxes of tea in my room, and 20ish in the kitchen. I lov tea so much.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

Elf. I always liked elves.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

Jamie. My current name is Ash (short for Ashley which I hate), I’m p cool with Ash, but I like the name Jamie. There’s a ton of names I use as online handles or for rp’ing, but Jamie’s the most gender neutral one so

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

Holy shit I love both I love stars and black holes and empty soundless voids but I also love deep and dark an SQUIDS MAN I LOVE SQUIDS i lov them both i wanna explore them both

24: Favorite constellation?

I love them all this is like choosing between my children

25: Favorite star?

again it’s like chosing between kids i love them all equally

28: Do you think global warming is real?

i skipped like every science course i had so

47: What is a sound you really hate?

I cannot stand water being poured into a glass cup. I hate it. I hate it. even the word ‘pour’ grates my nerves

50: Can you do the splits?

nope I have the joints of a 50+ year old

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

I dyed mine blue recently so I’m happy with what I got!

60: Do you believe in evolution?

okay so like I was raised super super Christian so my entire life it’s been “EVOLUTION IS EVIL AND A LIE” and like I just got out of a ton of internalized shit like working past all the hateful stuff I grew up with as part of a super religious family, and so I’m still working on bettering myself and am gonna consider my thoughts on evolution/big bang/how life started another time

plus tbh to me it doesnt rlly matter like? i’m here. people i love are here. lifes here. its cool discovering our roots, but the rest of life lies before us, and i wanna focus on that!

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

any type  of lgbt-phobia, too much sexual content, or if they get into a fandom that has bad memories for me. im still like following blogs from 2012 tho lmao so i don’t unfollow ppl often

62: What makes you follow a blog?

i like their stuff and wanna see more of their stuff

67: Favorite meme:

at the moment it’s ‘i lik the bred’, all time it’s probably this https://vine.co/v/iZ9Ml6iB31q

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

I have been wearing the same hoodie to sleep every night for the past few years (i wash it like daily so it aint gross, i just love this hoodie). That’s the hoodie I always draw my tinysona in. Another fun fact, the hoodie says NYC but I have never been to New York City

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

Giants

92: A store you hate?

I don’t like places like Ross or TJMaxx or Marshalls bc they seem gross and I always have allergic reactions in them?

95: Do you like to wear camo?

hell naw

105: Do you drink milk?

sometimes yeah, not often tho. i used to drink it all the fucking time as a kid

107: Do you like spiders?

yes they’re my friends

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i love the sky being pink and blue and gold and black, it’s already so many pretty colors. red and sometimes green or purple or even little patches of white. the sky’s already beautiful i love her

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

all of em yeah, life’s too boring to think that nothing much is out there. i think there’s a lot, we just can’t see it

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

“Tea you later” as a reference to my love for tea and a foreboding reminder that i am coming back

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

its kinda hard to see but one of my eyes is a tad lighter than the other and its rad, like ones more green and the others more brown

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

nope! we’re here and the universe is big and great and that’s all that matters!

[mysticimaginations-blog]

Kpop1237: Hello! I saw you posted your first HC (loved it btw!!) and decided to request one. RFA + V and Saeran meeting MC at a coffee shop. Either they work there, MC works there, or just meeting there in general. How would they go about asking them out?

Aww! Thanks Kpop1237! We really appreciate it! And, thank you all for all your support recently, everyone! ~Admin Mazz

AWW SO CUTE! This is was so fun to write! Thanks so so much for the love! We both really appreciate it! ^///^ Really hope everyone enjoys these HC, including you Kpop1237! Hope it isn’t too long hehehe.. ~Admin Lily 

Jaehee

Jaehee doesn’t get many breaks poor angel

But, when she does, she loves to go to the café

Coffee runs in her veins anyways

Work was the last thing on her mind

All she wanted was to relax while drinking a nice warm cappuccino

As she pulled out her wallet, she walked up to the counter to see MC standing behind the register

She had such a big smile on her face, “Hello! How may I help you today?”

She seems really nice

While she’s making Jaehee’s cappuccino, she begins to easily make small talk

At one point, she brought up Zen’s latest movie

Fangirl mode activated

That was all Jaehee needed

She liked this MC and wouldn't mind talking to her again

And again, and again, and again

They became pretty close, you know?

MC was just so supportive and sweet and always there for Jaehee! She really was… cute!

Jaehee began to feel the butterflies

MC was really cute aww! <3

Maybe, Jaehee should try and ask MC out?

Wait, no way! They both have too much work to do and why would she be interested.

But… maybe it’d be worth a try?

One day, as they sat together and started talking, like they normally did, it just slipped out

“MC… you know I… like you a lot, right? And-And I appreciate you being my friend.”

MC is literally thinking “booyah”

“Did you know that I happen to like you a lot too,” MC would reply with a smile

“So, would that mean you'd like to come with me, not on a day out, but… as a date?”

“I'm pretty sure I'd love to.” GUYS THE FEELS RN SO SWEET

Yoosung

Okay, this boy works so hard (at LOLOL of course)

Sometimes he's gotta go out and get a latté because being the top guild is rough, okay?

But the coffee place isn't that big

And its packed

Yoosung had just snagged a table

Oops, but someone else had sat down at the other side too

Guess who lol

MC and Yoosung just looked at each other in surprise

Should I stand up…?

But MC just started giggling

Hey… she's kinda cute, isn't she?

“Hi!” MC would hold out her hand, “I'm MC, and you're trying to steal my table.”

Yoosung laughed nervously at her joke and shook her hand, “uh, sorry. I'm Yoosung Kim.”

She doesn't make him move, though, she just starts a conversation

And oml is that hard for him

Cute girl + nerd equals train wreck

Very stuttery and has rosy cheeks

He tells he's a college student and she immediately bombards him with questions

She seems so fascinated

But, he's really not a good student atm

He switches the convo and starts asking about MC

And, he starts to like her even more

Their convo seems to go on forever

But, her coffee is gone

“Oh, so you're leaving, huh?” Yoosung asks in disappointment

“Other people need tables, don't they?” She would smile

“Um, hey. Is there any way I could talk to you again?”

“well, you could ask for my number,” she would hint flirtatiously, “or you could ask me if I'd like to come back for more coffee sometime.”

Yoosung blushed but he was smiling, “I'll do both. How does that sound?”

Did Yoosung just get a girl’s number?? Yoosung got a girl's number! see even losers like have a chance

Then again he’s adorbs so

Zen

Okay, so Zen has been to many coffee shops, and let's just say it usually ends up in a pretty bad situation.

It’s not that the café itself that’s bad, it's just that…

Someone finds out who he is and his fans begin to swarm the café.

So, he rarely goes into them unless he’s in dire of need of coffee or something to eat.

Well, the day he meets MC is one of those days.

Zen had gotten off of work late, and was pretty much starving for some type of food.

Near the practice hall was a little café about a five minute walk from.

It was almost midnight, so he decided to take the chance and enter the café.

There only seemed to be one guy working the station at the moment,

which was a relief.

Just wait Zen it gets better

When he gave his order, the barista called out for someone in the back.

A really cute girl comes out in an apron.

The previous barista switches place with her to make his order done

Here comes the small talk.

She introduced herself as MC, and Zen thought she was the sweetest girl he’s seen.

It’s past midnight already  and she had more energy than a normal person should have around the time.

“Oh it’s because I had like three cups of coffee! Gotta stay awake for late night people like yourself!”

Throughout the whole chat, never did once MC bring up that he was an actor.

She treated him like a normal person

He took his drink and gave a farewell to MC, promising to come back.

He’ll be back in a hour 4 u MC

After his first encounter, he came back after every practice.

MC was always there to welcome him, and each day their conversations changed.

He told him about his new role in the play, and she seemed enamored

“I didn’t know you had a new role! I knew you were an actor, but I didn’t want to seem like every other person and fan over you…”

That was one of the things that made him want to see  MC over and over again.

She treated him like a normal person.

He learned that she was just working these night time shifts for some extra cash

“How’d it go? Your practice?”

“I went alright… Say, MC? How’d you like to go to dinner with me a night instead of working here?” hides nervousness like a true actor

MC is overjoyed, “I’d love to!”

Jumin

Jumin rarely goes out like this due to the fact that reporters would usually swarm him

So he usually has Jaehee get him his coffee

However, even our little angel Jaehee can get sick sometimes and Jumin has to take matters into his own hands

He began to start searching for a café that delivers

Score, he found one

Guess who delivered

MC, lookin all nice and cute in her little uniform delivered the coffee

Jumin wanted to take it and go, but MC tried to start a small convo

“Hello, sir!”

“Um, good morning.”

“Wow this place is big. Is the intern out or something?”

“Um, yes, she is.”

“Hope she feels better. Have a good day, Mr. Han.”

“How do you know my name?”

Awkwardly points to name on coffee cup

“Oh. Yes, have a good day.” notorious Jumin throat clearing

She gave him such a bright smile

And that coffee was goood

He saw on the receipt the name of the creator and it was the same as the girl who delivered

Even though Jaehee came back, he wants more of that coffee so he ordered again but specifically asked for “MC”

MC came back and gave him another bright smile that morning, ‘so you liked my coffee huh? Here you are.”

“Thank you, MC.”

“Oh! Someone who used my name!” MC said, teasingly, but it kind of went over Jumin’s head

Oh my god, this coffee is so good

Jaehee never has to get Jumin coffee again cuz good ol’ MC is his new personal coffee girl

Convos became a little more than just small talk

MC’s always asking how his week went and he’d explain business statistics and crap

But, wait, she’d understand?

She went to business school for a while which is astounding to him.

She begins to help him with his ideas and promos, and he’s so thankful

This girl is so strange, he’s never met anyone like her

He actually becomes really interested in her

So much so that he wants to see her more often, so he offers her a job there

Happily, she takes it and quits her coffee job

For a while, they work together and she makes him his favorite coffee without him asking

He really starts to like MC

So much so that Jaehee recommends that he ask her on a date

And he takes it like what that actually worked

And, guess what she said: “Took you long enough!” thats a yes btw

Seven

This boy has a lot on his mind alright

Always workin and hackin so coffee is his life

And he thinks cafes are such cute little places with cute little human beings to swarm~

And cute girls too

This one day, as he was enjoying his third coffee while bein on his nice laptop, he noticed a girl walk into the café

She was really pretty like oml the kind of pretty that makes you widen your eyes and try to look away to not seem like a creep

And Seven wasn’t any different

But, since he was so close, he could hear what the girl was saying

“How may I help you?”

“Um, hi… Hey, your name’s Mario. Isn’t that Italian? I heard Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves~”

Omg Seven was ready to explode he spit up his coffee a little

“Har har…” Poor Mario where did he go wrong he just works there

Seven loved this girl already he had to get to know her name or something

“Name?”

“MC,” she giggled pretty girl giggle

Okay, okay, Seven think

He had a ton of great ideas, but they were lost… somewhere… in his brain

She had already grabbed her coffee so Seven gave up, thinking maybe it wasn’t meant to be anyways

Suddenly, Seven noticed the girl had placed her coffee down on his table

“I’m so sorry,” MC apologized, “just trying to get the keys out of my purse”

“No problem” Seven said with a smile don’t be stupid don’t be stupid

MC gave him a smile and a wave before grabbing her coffee and going to leave

This trainwreck grabbed his coffee and went to take a sip, but he realized “Seven” wasn’t written on his cup

He ran out to MC and called, “wait! Wrong coffee”

MC turned around and glanced at the name on her coffee before laughing nervously, “oops! Sorry!”

“You know…” be prepared here comes the pun “stealing someone’s coffee is called ‘mugging’, you know?”

She bursted out laughing nailed it

Seven was successfully able to ask her for her number and she happily gave it to him

V

Cafés are such quaint little spaces and V loves to take pictures of them even tho, ya know, he can’t really see

He usually goes to smaller cafes to limit his chances of being swarmed with fans and artists (he is famous)

One day, he got himself a nice cup of coffee while he began to observe his surroundings

Then, the magical camera was pulled out and he began to take pictures

Took pictures of the workers, the windows, the customers

At one point he pointed up to take a picture of the door, but a girl had walked in and looked at him in shock

She was beautiful prettier than that witch Rika that’s for sure

V immediately apologized, “excuse me! Just taking some pictures, don’t mind me.”

“Of me?” MC asked with a nervous giggle

“Hold that smile!” V said before finding the perfect angle and snapping a picture “very lovely.”

MC blushed, ‘aww, thank you, Mr…?”

“Call me V.” he smiled

“V… Um, alright.”

“Do you, uh… come here often?” smooth V real smooth I bet she’s never heard that one before

“Well, yeah. This is my favorite café.” she has, but she doesn’t mind it when it’s from this blue-haired cutie

“Ah… Well, I should be going. Thank you!”

“Bye, V.”

Guess which café V went to again?

He was obviously really hopeful in seeing MC again because MC is infinitely times better than Rika

Overjoyed, he sorta sees her in her cute little dress and he pulls out his camera to take a picture

Of course, at the perfect timing she looks up at the lens as he takes it it’s not creepy if it’s true love guys

She lets out a laugh and he looks embarrassed, “Sorry, I-uh…”

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” she smiles

“Well, I mean it’s a lovely little café. Perfect for pictures.”

“I see…” MC began to blush as she messed with her fingers, “Um, hey V? Would you say yes if I offered to buy you coffee?”

“I don’t see why I wouldn’t,” he’d smile, “as long as you’d help me take more pictures.”

“Sounds fair,” she smiled brightly.

Saeran

I can totally see Saeran working at a small coffee shop because it’s just so calming to make all these drinks and talking to a person only a few seconds at a time

Especially since this boy can be really intimidating

I bet you he likes all the nice plants that surround the building too

The people can get annoying though

Because some actually try to start a conversation

MC is one of those people

“Hello, how are you?” she would smile

“What can I get you?” trying so hard to ignore this human being and do his job

“Um, you pick.”

Really. “Me?”

“Yeah. You,” she smiled.

She had such a big smile

“Well, alright. What’s the name?”

“MC.”

Of course, as she leaves she says his name, “thank you, Saeran.” Which doesn’t happen often to him

“Uh, no problem?” He hands her the coffee and she pays him

The day goes smoothly and Saeran thinks nothing of it

The next day the girl comes back, “Hello, Saeran!”

“Hi…” Not her again, “What can I get you?”

“You pick.”

Again, he picks and thinks nothing of it

But she keeps coming again and again and asks the same thing

He sees it as almost an attack or something he just doesn’t get it

“Is there something you want from me?” he’d snap

MC would be so calm “I don’t want anything from you. You just seem nice”

Her smile is just... so bright and her eyes are so sparkly

Saeran didn’t know what to do then

Nice? Nice?? Huh… She thinks he’s nice

“Okay,” he sighed, “well, I’ll get you your coffee”

This poor guy finds it so hard to say this “Have a good day”

MC just gives him her stupid bright smile with her eyes lighting up, “thank you! You too, Saeran”

After that, he starts to adjust to her

“Hey MC.” She’s such a nice girl she always asks him how his day is going

One day, he’s having a rough day and MC noticing so she buys a coffee for him too because he mentioned that it was his favorite

“Hope that makes your day better, Saeran”

Of course it does, he loves the gesture but he doesn’t show it

Finally one day he asks, “Uh, hey MC. Why do you come here so often to see me?”

“I told you I like you.”

“Alright, well, maybe we should actually hang out sometime?”

“As in a date?” happiness levels at max

Immediate blush, “no, just… a hangout.” yeah, a date don’t lie

“Of course I’d love to.”

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[ds4design]

Tesla’s P100D: I got 99 problems but not being able to go really fast ain’t one

reader comments 0

The P100D at rest.

Jonathan Gitlin

You wouldn't think wood trim would work in an electric vehicle, but it does.

Jonathan Gitlin

Tesla's new Washington DC store is jolly nice.

Jonathan Gitlin

For maximum fun, keep your finger on the Ludicrous button for 10 seconds.

One of the new optical sensors that come with HW2.

Jonathan Gitlin

This is the B-pillar optical sensor.

Jonathan Gitlin

I really like the way the Model S's sensors constantly inform you of how close you are to obstacles.

Jonathan Gitlin

To coincide with the opening of its newest store in Washington, DC, Tesla asked us if we'd like to spend a few days with one of its latest Model S P100Ds. However, there was just one catch; we'd have to do all the driving ourselves. As one of the newest cars off the production line, this Model S was equipped with Tesla's own self-driving sensors (known in Tesla-world as HW2), but the company is still in the process of pushing out the software necessary to enable Autopilot in these cars. Scratch that plan of road-tripping up to New York—a proper test of the new Autopilot will have to wait.

Autopilot may have been absent, but this P100D did have a rather special trick up it's sleeve: an easter egg that makes Ludicrous Mode even more, well, ludicrous. So, rather than try out the P100D's humongous (for an electric vehicle) range—315 miles according to the EPA—we spent our days finding out just how fast it really is. The answer? Ludicrously fast.

That powertrain tho

As the name suggests, the P100D is built around a 100kWh lithium-ion battery that's the same size, and uses the same cells, as the P90D but with a new architecture to enhance cooling. "People often don’t understand—they think of battery and battery pack as the same thing—but really overwhelmingly the technical complexity, once you get to a large number of cells densely packed, the engineering complexity is very much on the module and pack level, not on the cell level," explained Elon Musk. "You can think of the cell level as being a chemical engineering problem, and the module and pack level as being a mechanical, electrical and software problem, and with thermal propagation being the most difficult thing to deal with."

Each axle gets its own motor/generator. That's 259hp (193kW) at the front, 503hp (375kW) at the rear—although the maximum combined power output is 680hp (507kW). To get the most out of the car, you need to engage the easter egg, which involves going into the powertrain settings page and pressing the Ludicrous button for 10 seconds. The display will change to a warping star field—think the view out the front of the Millennium Falcon as it goes into hyperdrive—at which point you can either tell the car "No, I want my mommy!" (in which case it cancels) or "Yes, bring it on!" This begins preheating the battery to a toasty 50°C (122°F), the optimum temperature for the lithium-ion chemistry to work best.

However, depending upon the ambient temperature, this might not happen very quickly; on a couple of occasions the P100D needed around an hour to get sufficiently warm for us to have all the fun.

Please sir, I’d like to relocate my kidneys

Once sufficiently hot, there is no getting around the fact that the P100D is extremely, ridiculously fast in a straight line. Motor Trend timed a P100D reaching 60mph (97km/h) in 2.27 seconds. Although we didn't have a chance to take this Tesla to the drag strip, we have little reason to doubt such times are possible. Once in the easter egg mode, the main instrument display shows you some performance data from the car, including peak acceleration (measured in m/sec2). Our best? A pretty impressive 11.2m/sec2.

Enlarge /

This graph needs a better Y axis. I want to see just how high the Wh/miles peaked!

Jonathan Gitlin

From behind the wheel, it's the way the car helps rearrange your internal organs that really does it for us. Give it all the beans (on a straight, empty road with good visibility, obviously), and you feel the sensation most acutely in your lower back as your kidneys attempt to relocate themselves to the rear seats. Combined with an almost total absence of noise and the default result is somewhere between a fit of the giggles and howls of laughter.

From a standing start, you can feel all four tires fight for grip for the first few instants, with a little lateral yawing, although nothing as pronounced as you'd experience in Ferrari's all-wheel drive (and 600+hp) FF. It even manages to torque-steer less than a Ford Focus RS, which puts down almost exactly half as much power and torque.

Flooring the P100D once already moving—at 30mph, say—and it's not quite as breathtakingly rapid. Although I should note here that my "butt dyno" rapidly normalizes itself to the level of available thrust, in much the same way a heroin addict builds up tolerance to opioids.

There is of course a downside in attempting to go everywhere as fast as you can in a P100D, and that's the matter of range. In fact, we averaged 952Wh/mile over the course of about 30 miles—enough to consume roughly 80 percent of the car's battery and more than three times the EPA rated 300Wh/mile. Note that this wasn't 30 miles of neck-snapping standing starts, but there's an energy hit associated with warming up that battery. But who cares? You don't need to go to the pump to refill the car, and 952Wh/mile doesn't have the same emotional impact as 6mpg, although if we lived in a particularly coal-dependent area, we'd probably feel a little more sheepish about our achievement.

Constantly iterating

Unlike the rest of the auto industry, Tesla doesn't really believe in model years, preferring instead to constantly iterate its cars as new improvements pass muster. You can tell one of the latest Model Ss by the extra optical sensors embedded along the car's flanks (one on each side behind the front wheels and another one in each B-pillar), and our car also sported a much better interior than the last Model S I drove. The center console is now similar to that of the Model X with storage options other than just a cavernous bin, and the little cubby underneath the huge infotainment screen now has a small lip on its leading edge to help prevent its contents trying to race your kidneys to the back seats when you're having fun. The front seats are sport a new design; they are both comfortable and supportive, as well as looking quite fetching when covered in black leather.

The infotainment UI is constantly being worked on and despite a lack of physical buttons, it won me over by being responsive and legible. You'd think those things wouldn't be hard to pull off, but so few traditional OEMs have gotten that stuff right. Another neat design detail was the automatic headlights; yes, plenty of cars have these, but the P100D's calibration was among the best we've noticed, coming on almost instantly when driving into a tunnel. Other cars we've tested recently were so lackadaisical in this regard that the entire length of DC's 3rd Street Tunnel was behind us before they responded.

Gripes? We have but a few. Although the P100D is stupendous in a straight line, it's still not the most exciting car to hustle down a twisty road, something we elaborated on during our test of a P90D recently. The ride can be a little firm—if Tesla is still on the lookout for talent, we'd suggest poaching whomever it is that tunes BMW's dampers. The paint on the hood had more orange peel than we'd expect for a car with a six-figure price tag. And the infotainment system would only play content from my iPhone via Bluetooth even though it was happy charging from one of the USB ports.

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Five magic characters.

Jonathan Gitlin

Most of those complaints really are quite minor things though, outweighed in the grand scheme of things by the car's ability to cause driver and passengers fits of the giggles thanks to supercar-levels of speed without the fossil fuel-associated guilt.

Listing image by Jonathan Gitlin