#fun fact I think The Sound of Music is one of Alfred's favourite films

[rotten7rat]

A very quick Bruce

I take a lot of inspiration from a young Christopher Plummer for my Bruce. I always imagined he was a more old-fashioned kind of handsome. So he's like a jacked up Christopher Plummer

[thisislizheather]

May Misery 2020

How is it June? Imagine that this year is just a nightmare that we’re all simultaneously having? I should use this space to be uplifting, but hope is exhausting at the current moment. All I can tell you are the things that either brought me joy or displeasure from the last month. That’s all I can do at the moment. And that’s definitely a privilege right now, I understand. I feel helpless, hopeless and like nothing is going in the right direction. This is a terrible intro, so let’s just get into all the meaningless trash that I did last month.

My brother Gary made this great video on how to make KFC gravy and you might think I’m biased, but he’s just so fun to watch. Love it so much.

I rewatched two Alfred Hitchcock movies: Rope (still such a great motive, one of his best) and Rear Window (which is average as hell, the idea of the story is so much better than the execution of the movie). Also, it made me really laugh hearing Nathan say, “If you can’t kill your wife, whose wife CAN you kill?“

Are you aware that they’re still making new flavours of M&Ms? I tried the fudge brownie flavour and I gotta say, they just taste like regular ass M&Ms.

I had completely forgotten about this amazing ricotta toast (thank you, Marla) recipe that I loved from years ago. Everyone should make it. It sounds like such a boring recipe, but it’s incredible. Of course it’s from Ina.

A great article about apologizing.

We keep making these chickpea pitas and likely won’t stop.

Months ago I bought this white poncho on sale for basically nothing because I thought this was my year of travel. Yeah. Great purchase.

I watched the Michelle Obama documentary, Becoming, and it’s obviously inspiring and great. Love the woman.

I’ve mentioned before how walnuts in pesto are way tastier than pine nuts, right? Cheaper, too. In any case, I can’t stop making this walnut pesto.

I watched the first season of Awkwafina is Nora From Queens and it’s SUCH A GOOD SHOW. Every single character is great. Perfect show.

I made this banana cake again, mostly because of that damn frosting. Even if you’re just making a regular cake, you should do it with this coffee cream cheese frosting.

Every morning for the past few weeks, I’ve been making this iced coffee protein shake (below). It might be the only thing I look forward to at this point in time. (It tastes pretty similar to a Tim Horton’s Iced Capp, just less sugary.)

I only wear one perfume (Miracle by Lancome), but I’m almost completely out of it (and won’t repurchase anytime soon since these are not the times to be buying luxurious items) so I’ve been wearing Fresh Cream by Philosophy that I got as a gift last year and I kind of love it. It makes me smell like a cake.

I’m still making these halloumi hummus bowls for lunch, but I’ve amended the recipe slightly by adding chopped basil instead of oregano and slicing up the halloumi incredibly thin since I think it tastes better when it’s crispy and thin.

Some movies that I’ve rewatched: Dazed & Confused (a forever favourite, I love a movie where the plot happens over the course of one day), Crazy Rich Asians (still fantastic, although I truly hate the bride character or actress playing her, I can’t decide), I Know What You Did Last Summer (still holds up, solid movie), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (not a great sequel at ALL, but I do love the idea of a killer on vacation), and Back To The Future (this might be the perfect movie, the script is amazing, everything is so fun, the music is epic, I also love the fact that the writers Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale will never allow a remake or reboot during their lifetimes).

I got this cropped sweatshirt from Nordstrom that I wear approximately six days a week.

In love with this new Jackbox game that I’ve been playing with my family on Sundays: Mad Verse City.

I walked to Manhattan from Queens and wrote about it.

The peony blossom candle from Trader Joe’s smells beautiful.

The Body Shop gives you a free product worth $10 on your birthday month, so I got their tea tree body wash and I love it. What the hell did I do before tea tree?

Just learned: grating garlic is so much tastier than chopping garlic. Thank you, Bon Appetit!

I made this kung pao cauliflower and it was good as a side dish but definitely not as a main. Cauliflower as a main dish will always be offensive to me.

I watched Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift and absolutely hated it. Terrible movie. What kind of accent is that guy supposed to have???

I bought a cuticle cutter since the nail salons are still closed and I figured how hard could it be to use? Turns out: very hard. No idea how to use it on myself or anyone else for that matter.

I have been making these kale quesadillas for lunch and they’re so tasty. I just use whatever cheese I have, basil and white wine vinegar instead of champagne vinegar. Also, I omit the corn because frozen corn is always trash. Super simple recipe, too.

I watched two episodes of the Epstein documentary on Netflix and had assault nightmares that night so I thought maybe I don’t need to finish all the episodes. I’m not including the link here for it because I truly don’t think anyone needs to see it.

My friend Dusty made this great short film.

I argued with Nathan at least twice this month on camera. (And about 400 times in real life? Again, no link for that.)

My six year old nephew is beyond adorable in this video about the lockdown.

I bought these Steve Madden sandals for $22 when they were on sale the other day and I had a gift card, and I’m in love. 

Forgot how good these black bean muffins are. Such a nice little snack. Ignore the fact that they sound disgusting.

Excited to hear that Tuca & Bertie are coming back for another season! (Thank you Harmeet for turning me onto this great show!)

We’ve been eating the Beyond Meat hamburger patties and they’re phenomenal. We’ve been putting this McCormick gravy on top of them and and I’ll add these pickled red onions too and wow. Heavenly. Never would’ve thought I could be into a homemade pickled onion. Growth!

This is wild and slightly horrifying.

Super interesting piece about the NYPD.

You can see my favourite tweets from the month over here.

Some things that I’d like to do this month: I promise that I will finally review the last two monthly Ipsy bags, I really want to make these salted thyme chocolate chip cookies, I want to make this midnight pasta that I heard about from Mindy Kaling, I want to read at least two books this month, I’m dying to make this ricotta jam jar, and I don’t know, maybe June won’t be a complete shitshow. Also, don’t forget about Father’s Day on the 21st. Just a reminder. If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in April over here.

And it’d be weird not to mention this at all right now, but there are so many awful and horrendous things going on, you know this. I completely support Black Lives Matter and it’s insane that there’s any kind of divide about whether you do or you don’t. It makes me sick that saying something as simple as “black people are human beings” could ever be considered complicated or political, but I guess here we are. I have no magical words to offer and I wish I did. I have no quote that’ll make everything make sense because nothing right now makes any sense. People are not being treated like human beings and it’s disgusting, it’s that simple. I don’t know what’s ahead of us, but for fuck’s sake I hope it’s better than where we’re at right now.

[musingsofanangryginger]

31 Days of Horror 2017 Round up

Hello and welcome to the fruits of my labour. Below is a list and mini-reviews of each thing I watched during my 31 days of Horror. Some reviews are a bit beefier than others but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

Day 1: The Invisible Man:

So I decided to start my horror by going old school…very old school, like 50 years before I was born old school. Back the 30’s Universal had a chain of monster movies which by today’s standards might be considered a bit on the tame side but from what’ve seen of that era and this one, this film stands up. So unlike the big-budget remake Hollow Man (come on now it is a remake), there is no transformation scene but instead, we meet our character after the damage has been done and we join him through his journey and his descent into madness which is excellently portrayed by Claude Raines.

Day 2: Shaun of the Dead: 

After telling a few folks at work about watching this as part of my 31 days of Horror they immediately claimed it was horror. I respectfully disagreed, at least I think it was respective. Yes, of course, it falls way more into the comedy genre but it’s very clearly a horror comedy. I can’t imagine that there are folks that have yet to see this film but for the uninitiated, Shaun’s life is going nowhere fast, content to frequent the same pub over and over, stuck in a dead-end job (Pun count 2) his lady kicks him to curb. Turns out you need a good zombie outbreak to give you that motivational boost. Directed by Edgar Wright and penned by Simon Pegg & Wright and what’s delivered a genre comedy which wears its love of that genre on its sleeve. Hilarious, Gory with some emotionally powerful punches throughout. If for some reason you’ve been in a bunker with the Mole Women your excuses are limited as to why you’ve never seen this slice of fried gold.

 Day 3: Gerald’s Game:

 King’s back in a big way thanks to the success of IT and so it seems there appears to be some clambering to get his work adapted, this one such effort being a Netflix offering. Directed by Mike “Oculus” Flanagan we’re treated to minimalist horror which takes place for the most part in a single room with some passionate naughtyness goes tit’s up (Pun machine). This is bolstered by two great performances by Carla Gugino and Bruce Greenwood. Unsettling and just that little bit harrowing this was an enjoyable surprise. I don’t want to elaborate too much on this one as I feel that going in blind is the key. I will say that Mike Flanagan has the uncanny ability to creep me out with violence. What I mean by this, is that I’m so ridiculously desensitised to film gore and violence that media would probably label me and some kind of mental. In 2 of Mike’s films to date, I’ve shuddered and shivered one being this and the other the aforementioned Oculus which is also brilliant. I also completely recommend Hush as well.

Day 4: Red State:

Again another debateable horror. I firmly plant this in the horror genre as it completely uses so many of the tropes. There’s the young high school guys looking to get laid and it going badly. By badly I don’t mean “oops an std and a paternity test” no I mean kidnapped by fanatics and faced with their deaths. Where this is different is that it twists all over the place it hardly gives you time to catch your breath. I loved how Kevin Smith described writing this, he said that each time the plot got familiar he skewed off in a different direction to what would be expected and it shows. Fitting in with the “this is horror” claim by myself there is an extremely unsettling vibe in the first half of the film that is perpetrated by the late great Michael Parks. Good god, his sermon monologue is downright terrifying. Brrrrr. One of Smith’s best films and a genre I think he should revisit….well of course there is Tusk. Ha ha Tusk.

Day 5: Ash Vs The Evil Dead (Episodes 1-3): 

 I had seen the first 2 eps a while back so decided to get some of this watched again. This harkens back to the brilliance of Evil Dead 2 (more on that later). Here the idiotic but pretty capable Ash sets loose the deadites once more to the gratuitously gory delight of fans and newcomers alike.  It’s hard not to love Bruce Campbell, He’s a genuinely charismatic presence. This is a show I desperately need to catch up with and feel there’s no excuse that I haven’t. I’m sorry!

Day 6: The Autopsy of Jane Doe:

It may be creepy to say, it may be weird to say, but I’m in love this film. These days you’d be very hard pressed to come across decent horror films which is sad. It’s a genre that has been limping along since the 70’s. Every once in a while though you get that gem that one in a thousand film that comes along and says “Boo” and you squeal. This is not one of these films. “But Mark” I hear you say “You seem to have bigged this film up” Why you backtracking. Oh contraire readers of mine, this here is the finest examples of the genre in last several years. The point I’m making is that it relies very little on the “Jump scare” formula and instead treats you a murder mystery with Horror along for the ride.

In wake of a horrific crime a body is found with no Id and who has no real ties to the crime that can be ascertained. It’s up to the Coroner and his son uncover why she was there, I will say no more. I felt that going into Gerald’s Game completely blind was the way to go, Jane Doe, I'd recommend a sensory deprivation tank of ignorance before going near this. Don’t even read the back of the dvd/blu ray case or google it. No trailers nothing, just rest in the knowledge that this film is entirely worth it. Creepy and gripping throughout with scares and revelations coming in equal amounts. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll want to know how this wraps up.

Day 7: The Scream Trilogy: 

20 years ago this series of films kicked off (technically 21 but who’s counting…oh wait I appear to be sorry!) 20 years since the immortal “What’s your favourite scary movie” line became engrained in popular culture. The premise was simple a killer who had seen waaaaay too many horror films went a bit of a slaughter. Their knowledge of movie trivia is used against unwilling victims…crap, this person sounds a bit like me. Don’t worry folks I use my trivia for good or at the very most to annoy folks slightly. So with the decline of the horror movie genre or more accurately during its current dip Scream was released in an attempt revitalise the industry and to be fair it did. It spawned 3 sequels (with 4th coming out way later) and a current TV series. Like the killer, this franchise stayed alive longer than it should’ve. While 2 was probably my favourite of the original trilogy, this was due to the fact that I owned it on VHS and watched it constantly and that, of course, Sarah Michelle Gellar was in it (What can I say I had a crush on Buffy), I also really like the first one. 3rd is a bit pants but has its moments, notably Parker Posey playing Gail Weathers is hilarious and Kennedy’s cameo is also great. It’s clear though that quite ironically that by the 3rd this franchise was pretty stale. Doesn’t seem to be able to stop it though!

Day 8: The Void: 

This film is absolutely MENTAL. A clear homage to the body horrors of the 80’s with the clearest being references to Hellraiser I felt, this starts off relatively sane and then skips down Insanity Drive, Crazy Avenue with a brief stop-over in Gross-ville. The films kicks off with a bloody bloke popping out the woods conveniently in front of a Sheriff’s car. The Sheriff takes him along to the local hospital where the weird begins. Cultists stop the folk from leaving and from there; well I won’t say too much more.  I will say right out of the gate that this is most certainly not for everyone, most notably my good lady Evonne. She hated it with the passion of a fiery star. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the unhinged nature, body horror creepy vibe. Give it a bash if you’re looking for some nostalgic originality.

Day 9: Slither: 

Before James Gunn was fanboying the crap out of Guardians of the Galaxy he made a horror comedy called Slither. This stars the always likable and charismatic Nathan Fillion as a small town sheriff having to deal with an alien invasion. Much like The Void, this seems to homage the body horror of old with truly Cronenbergian creatures, but unlike The Void this is flat out hilarious. All characters stretch their comedy legs keeping the laughs coming thick and fast but the stand out character for me is Mayor Jack McCready played by Gregg Henry. His intro as a crass a$$hole (there really is no better way of describing him) is comic gold and each time he’s on screen he kills it. I feel that this is a film that everyone should see once because it’s brilliant. Yes, there is a lack of articulation in that sentence so let me just say, It’s gross, a bit violent but extremely funny.

Day 10: Cannibal The Musical:

I want you to read that title again and know a few things. 1. It is not made up and 2 and one of my favourite things, of which there many, about this film, is that it is based on the True story of Alfred Packer. On their way to seek riches in a Colorado gold mine, a party lead by Packer end up being snacks for the would-be guide. Or so it would appear. I know what you’re thinking, this doesn’t sound funny. What if I was to tell you this was made by the guys responsible for South Park. I first caught this on Channel 4 back in the late 90’s as part of a Troma film season. It played late night and with good reason, within the first few moments, the blood and gore flowed in gratuitous and over the top fashion. Of course, that was nothing compared to when the songs began. Much of this can be considered a blueprint of the tropes that would end up furnishing the long-running and widely popular South Park. Poking fun at almost everything in the genre including but not limited Alfred Packer’s lost love Leighanne, it gleefully bashes all kind of clichés, notably of the musical numbers and horror variety. With musical earworms, you’ll find harder to get out of your head than human flesh out your teeth and many numerous comedic moments this is worth your time… or at the least is certainly worth mine, again!

Day 11: Dawn of the Dead (2004):

Oh man do I remember the uproar when this was announced: “Arrrrgh you can’t remake a classic, rah, rah rah etc.” Of course Hollywood was like “Shut it, ya pr!cks” but no doubt in a less Scottish vernacular. What we were presented with was a remake that paid homage to original but was in its own right also original. First off there is no shuffling but full pelt Zombies tanking it after folks, to the point where this out of shape chubby ginger bloke would be a Zombie entre, and while 28 Days Later may have had the same trope 6 years prior Danny Boyle is adamant the 28 Day’s Later is NOT a zombie film so Kudos to Zack. There is a larger group as opposed to original’s 4 which makes for a better character dynamic and there is care when likable characters go bye bye and catharsis when the bad characters join them. This is fairly relentless from the get-go, takes less than 10 minutes to get to speed and opening scene sets you up for a great movie. Potentially get some flak from DC folks over this but I maintain this is Zack Snyder’s best film. It’s Violent, Gory, Action packed as well as funny and emotional at all the right bits. Enjoy!

Day 12 Curve, Night of the Slasher, Blinky & Breathe: 

On the 12th day of Halloween, my true love gave to me 4 GOLDEN SHORTS. Yes I know I’m off on the song and the lyrics but I just can’t seem to care! So I’ll break these down Short by short without going too much into depth because too much means “why would you watch it?” 

Curve is the story of a girl who wakes up Clinging to a smooth, curved surface high above a sentient abyss. What more do I have to say about this that doesn’t have you intrigued; let’s just say that despite the simplicity, it’s very very tense. 

Night of the Slasher is shot in a single take and follows a young lady looking to violate the code of horror by committing all the sins in order to confront her would be killer. This wears its John Carpenter influences all over its blood-soaked sleeve. 

Blinky is the only Short I’d seen prior. The story a young boy and his robot who “just wants to be your friend”. Only he might be the most stable of friends, pretty sure we all have a fair share of those (if not you're obviously the mental one) I do love this short immensely. Emotional and a bit sad and pretty creepy.

Finally Breathe a very short piece in which a ghost who a young gentleman is enamored with, only appears when he holds his breath. Given how short this is I won’t say too much, but I will say it’s quite effective for the runtime.

Day 13: The Babysitter: 

This dropped on Netflix on the same evening and I thought I’d give it a bash. The film follows your standard nerd, bullied, disliked, my childhood before I became the cool hip awesome bloke you all know and love etc etc. The only person who treats him with a modicum of respect is his hot too good to be true, nerd sympathising Orthodontist....pffft, of course, it’s his Babysitter. On a standard evening of Babysitting our Nerd-do-well spies some truly nefarious dealings which features his favourite babysitter and things go pear-shaped. Hijinks and some pretty gratuitous violence are unleashed. A film that doesn't take itself remotely seriously and quite fun. The only pitfall is the shite acting, but I’m not sure if this is a stylistic choice or laziness. All cards on the table I enjoyed this film, though a bit silly, it was a good laugh.

Day 14: Christine: 

How many folks reading this have films that make you smile, that warm you no matter the genre. The equivalent of a comfort blanket? This is one such blanket for me, This here is one of my favourite Carpenter movies and Stephen King adaptation. This is a childhood classic for me and yes I was no doubt way too young to watch it but I’m so glad I did. This just your age-old typical tale of Boy meets car, boy falls in love with car, car turns out to be sentient and evil. No of course on paper this sounds guff and not too dissimilar to King's disastrous foray into Directing “Maximum Overdrive”, though trust me when I say this isn't that. What sets them apart is the creepy vibe present in Christine which is achieved by the acting talent with particular note of the leads decent into madness. The special effects are awesome and practically done and despite being 34 years old have aged better than me. My favourite of these practically done effects is the Flaming car scene. This still rings out a chorus from me screaming “HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS DONE?” The neighbours are not as appreciative as you might think. The final thread that ties this gem together is John Carpenters score. A cherished childhood memory and a long-standing favourite of mine which is yet to get old.

Day 15: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension: 

Ahhhh the never-ending gravy train that is the Paranormal Activity franchise. By this point I assume Oren Peli is surprised that this franchise just wont rest, yet it endures. Its a very hit and miss series of films with none really capturing the originality of the first. So far I’ve not liked one of them, which was the third. The latest entry is by no means good, in fact its predictably flawed but there is an inherent difficulty keeping things fresh. This one attempts the whole 3D thing, but to be fair that is probably just an obvious attempt to squeeze that little bit of cash. Thankfully I watched it on Netflix and so I didn't have to deal with the 3D. I did however liked the explanation, in that the 3D was due to a modified camera designed to catch spectral energy. Bit flimsy I know, but better than just ignoring why a found footage series is now 3D. The story is one of those predictable flaws mentioned earlier and is on the generic side. The scares are decent but of course because the film is devoid of score builds up a background noise rumble (if you've seen any of the films, you'll know what I’m talking about) which is that cue that basically is telling you when to be scared. I hate this trope in horror films which is usually marked by the rising music. “Get ready to get scared people, woooooooh” Its false tension. If a horror film is well done it doesn't need to rely on this cheap trick. But I digress. The film was enjoyable, there’s something very gleeful in being able to see the spectral entity that the characters can't. Even if looks a tad mucus-y

Day 16: The Sixth Sense: 

A film, like the original Planet of the Apes, that everyone knows ending of. However if for some reason you’ve never managed to see this gem, I shall remain spoiler free here. So why would you watch this a second time despite knowing how it wraps? Well because it’s a very well put together creep fest and a hell of a debut from M Night Shyamalan. Yes that guy who ruined Avatar the Last Airbender. It's hard to imagine but there was a time that he was held in pretty high critical regard, his first two movies are masterworks and The Village is critically divisive but I believe its one of his most underrated films, that's right I said it, come at me, bro, and by bro I mean the internet! Also in recent years The Visit and the excellent Split has Shyamalan on a pretty clear comeback. But back to his feature debut. For those cave dwellers, the film centres on the relationship between Broken psychologist Malcolm Crowe played by Bruce Willis back when he gave a shit and Cole Sear a troubled child with the darkest of secrets. Malcolm see’s Cole as his redemption case and Cole just wants to be helped and to be rid of his curse. You see Cole is visited by some pretty darned scary spectres and he just wants to not be, which is fair enough. The two leads work very well off each other and feel for both but it the relationship between Cole and his mother that really sell this film, at it’s hear despite all the creepiness you have this Mother/son relationship which is not only believable but filled with emotional heft, I challenge you not get overwhelmed by the scene between the two in the car. Another re-watch point is absolutely fantastic score by James Newton Howard, The scares though generic these days are still quite unsettling but what makes this different from other horrors is the aforementioned emotional depth from all involved. This is a movie I’m happy to revisit.

Day 17: The Final Destination: 

This series is an extreme guilty pleasure for me. There is not much in the way of the story of depth and all follow the same generic formula, Big disaster happens or supposedly happens as standard character get the old bit premonition and stops him/her and bunch of other him’s and her’s from being part of the disaster. However given that they’ve gone and wound up Death and he’s like “NO, I’M NOT HAVING IT, THAT’S JUST NOT ON” the survivors are dispatched in creative, over the top and pretty darned gruesome fashion. This entry sees the main disaster set piece taking place at a Nascar race and after all the carnage takes place, shock, our would be protector warns a group of folks off. The deaths come thick and fast after which. This film is probably the worst of the bunch but was put on due to the relative “brain switch offedness” if afforded. There is a few highlight, the swimming pool scene, and my particular favourite Red neck + Tow Truck but this is very much a meh movie. Marred by the whole 3D inclusion the death scenes look a bit pats and very CG’d but it’s enough to switch off and enjoy.

Day 18: 30 Days of Night: 

Imagine a town where once a year there is a month of no sunrise. Now that might be unsettling in its own right but imagine that vampires discover this place exists! Buffet time and humans are the snacks. The isolation and the threat at the heart of this are simultaneously brutal and subtle. Yeah, there are some pretty spectacular set pieces but the film decides to go down a route where the fight for survival is more central. The build-up is quite slow and creepy with strange occurrences happening before we're introduced the Vampires. Carnage ensues but We spend more time with the survivors to in their claustrophobic hideout feeling just as powerless as them. The vampires are dealt with is suitably terrifying fashion, totally selling the predatory habits and ancient lineage. Very few lines of English dialogue is uttered by them, instead opting for the use of an ancient sounding language. These days in the wake of Twilight, it's hard to think of Vampires as scary creatures, this film harkens back to a time where you know you’d sh!t yourself coming face to face with one these Scary b@stards. You should also check out the source material written by Stephen Niles and drawn by Ben Templesmith. Sorry, Niles but it’s Templesmith's artwork that always draws me back, which is not to say the writing isn't good, but pick it up and you'll know what I mean.

Day 19 Holidays: 

An anthology piece around certain yearly holidays Starting with Valentine's day and culminating in New years. There are some truly dark and fuckked up shorts in this film probably taking the cake for latter is St Patrick's day & Easter. The standouts for me were Fathers Day, Valentine's day and Christmas Day. As with most anthology films there are hits and misses and a couple fall short but all in a decent little bunch if segments, like an evil Chocolate Orange!

Day 20: Fist of Jesus: 

Tonight was Games night and so I introduced my friends to the wonder of Fist of Jesus. Now, this sounds like a very dodgy title but it's not that kind of sacrilegious, it's sacrilegious in a completely different. After Jesus performs the miracle to resurrect Lazarus, things go south in an undeady type of a way. It's then up to Jesus and his bestie Judas to dispatch these strolling corpses...with lots of fish. But don't take my word for it, here are quotes from watchers:

"Made me convert to Christianity"- Archie

“Too tired, for this pish Mark!”-Evonne

“I’m at Church every Sunday now”- Liam

This is definitely worth 15 Minutes of your time!

Day 21 The Blackcoats Daughter (February): 

The danger these days with horror is to make a relentless 90 minute to 2 hour Jump scare fest and therefore make the film ultimately forgettable at its conclusion. The horror films that stick with you are the subtle slow burners that will build atmosphere throughout and only employ the jump scare periodically. You see this with the likes of The Innkeepers and It Only comes at night and in this case with February (Aka The Blackoats Daughter). From the outset, there is already something not entirely quite right and the unsettling undercurrent continues to wash over you until the film's conclusion. Often showing very little and allowing you to imagine the scenario that’s unfolded just out of eyeshot. The premise see’s a couple of young girls left at their boarding school for a winter break due to the parent’s ��forgetfulness” to come and collect them in time. There is an age gap between the two ladies with youngest of the 2 going through some unsettling changes. I feel in terms of giving a synopsis that this should be enough. I suggest just going in and watching without much prior knowledge. If you prefer your horror atmospheric and slow-burning then this is the gem for you.

Day 22: The Love Witch: 

This film is stunningly shot and immediately gives you the impression you’re watching 70’s era hammer type film. While not your typical horror, it brings you in with a captivating lead and Rom-Com type of premise. Elaine (Played by Samantha Robinson) just can’t seem to make love stay. More accurately every man she falls for kind of ends up not alive, it’s pretty unlikely. Being a practicing Witch she uses her oh so considerable power and allure to reel in the unfortunate gentlemen until of course, she meets the “right” one. She then does everything she can to get him to love her back. This is a gloriously mental, at points funny kind of horror. There not full on gore for those violence hounds and there isn’t an awful lot to be scared about. It skirts the edge of “horror” very well giving you a unique experience that is likely to linger Not for all and I suspect some folks, particularly the horror aficionados may not rate this quite as highly as I do but I suggest giving it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Day 23: Evil Dead 2:

Oh man, this movie fills me with a genuine sense of giddy glee whenever I think about putting it on or previous viewings that have some pretty happy memories for me. Cheesy as it sounds Movies serve for a lot of my happiest memories, taking my mum to see Marvel films, my girlfriends and I’s first date and the source of many others and my collective entourage viewings where I drag a group of my friends to see the big releases or even the tiny ones. Evil Dead 2 has particular significance in my growing up and memories with my Aunt. A day many years ago, two young folks with horror in their hearts trawled the Jack Kane centre park where a car boot sale was taking place. Through the hubbub a young Mark spots Evil Dead 2 on VHS split seconds before his Aunt Claire does and before she knows it he’s bought it from a guy, who let's be honest, shoulda checked the young Marks Id. Claire's frown slowly fades as realises what our afternoon now entails of...we’re bloody gonna watch Evil Dead 2.

I watched these films in reverse order having been shown Army of Darkness first but this is my favourite given its history. That day, as Claire and I sat in front of her tiny TV and watched this splattering of genres was a day I fondly remember and as a result will get just slightly giddy when I hear the narrator say “Necronomicon Ex Mortis, roughly translated “book of the dead” or when Ash has his maniacal laughing fit, or Henrietta in the fruit cellar or the Iconic “Groovy” and punch the air moment. Each of these moments, as well as the rest of the film, will get me goosbumpy. For those who haven't seen this (and come on if you haven't, have a word with yourself) Ash played by the always brilliant Bruce Campbell takes his lady for a romantic getaway in an isolated cabin in the woods. Of course now one draws a line in the fucking sand and Ash reads the Latin, or the latin sounding words. Either way, it's a dead language (been a while since I punned, was getting the shakes). Anyhoo this awakens something dark in woods and what follows is a blending of some excellently brilliant slapstick comedy and genuine moments of terror. It's a mix that should never work, the serious dark tone of the horror and the outlandish ridiculous humour. But man does it work and work extremely well, there's gore, dismemberment, pratfall, hands with evil intentions and a laughing mounted deer head. It's hard to express praise any higher than I already have for this film. It has a special significance to me which will won't dissipate.

Day 24: Happy Death Day: 

Groundhog Day with stabbing. Oh, you want more than that, gosh needy lot are you not! Tree Gelbman wakes up on her Birthday in a strange blokes room and goes about her standard college (University) type of day. Goes to classes, get's off with folks she's generally not supposed to until, when on the way to a party, she’s brutally dispatched. Well maybe not brutally, as the violence is pretty gosh darned tame. She then wakes up in the same boy’s bedroom...at the start of her Birthday. TIME LOOP YAAAAAAS! This rinses and repeats until the film wraps. This film could've been standard plop if not for a charismatic lead played by Jessica Rothe. She is having an absolute blast and you're along for the ride! This is a lot of fun and made me smile. My only real criticism is the lack of gore being that it's a PG-13 in the states. Now neutered horror can be good, this is a prime example but I feel my bloodlust could've been pandered to  Just a little.

Day 25: Halloween: 

Remember what I said about Evil Dead 2? I mean how could you not, its the largest chunk in this. Well, Halloween is another of those memory makers but don't worry I won't gush...too much. So yeah Black Christmas may have come first but this film is almost predominantly responsible for the slasher Horror subset of the genre, it was in the wake of this that Freddy & Jason came along (more on them later). Michael Myers is the Grandaddy of horror villains and despite treatment in recent years, started his tenure as a bloody terrifying presence. John Carpenter uses his bogeyman sparingly first, building suspense before the inevitable slaughter-fest. He stalks the poor babysitters, with Jamie Lee Curtis center stage. It still stands up because of its subtle build up, creative dispatches of those horny teens and that score. Carpenter’s scores are all pretty much iconic and sound excellent live. If you haven’t, watch this film which I was obviously too young for when I first viewed!

Day 26: Jigsaw: 

Let's get this out the way, the first Saw film is an excellent isolation thriller with a gripping story and engaging characters and with the notable exception of the 2nd film the rest of the franchise is pure shite. The films central core is completely overshadowed in the previous entries by the increasingly elaborate gore creating traps and the convoluted ways the keep using to tie each entry into it's predecessor. None have been as clever as the first. The second comes close but it is ALL downhill from there.

So was Jigsaw any good? Well it's premise is suitably intriguing with Jigsaw murders kicking back off 10 years after the franchise villain John Kramer has gone to the trap creating factory in the sky, or perhaps more likely the ground. There are obvious clues pointing to Kramer's unlikely return but something is not quite right. That is   where the smartness ends as the film find it hard to decide what it's gonna do and therefore the big "reveal" is pretty much "saw it coming". Despite my misgivings, I did enjoy this film but more in an " awwww look it's trying so hard to be as good as the first". If you want to capture that previous macabre magic of the first, strip down the budget, the location and characters and tell what seems like a simple story. I suspect there's a Hollywood exec thinking of doing the complete opposite which is why this film and any subsequent entries will ever be as good as the original.

Day 27: Tucker and Dale Vs Evil:

You know the old horror genre trope of those backward Hillbillies being those to avoid horror films cause you'll be "doomed" if you cross them? Well, prepare to have your prejudices reversed. Tucker & Dale Played by Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine respectively are off to fix up their summer cabin when these pesky kids start dying all over their property. The film pokes all kinds fun at those standard genre cliches by flipping them on their head and keeps poking fun until the end. It's violent but only in over the top to prove it's commitment to its irreverence. Laugh out load throughout and quite heartwarming at others. This is a particular favourite of mine and I'm glad I included it.

Day 28 Stranger Things Season 2 (Episodes 1-5- at the time but. season complete now): 

So we paced this. I firmly believe that binge-watching is not a good habit to get into. It's so easy to sit for 8/9 hours, or higher, straight and tank a series thanks largely to Netflix's model. The problem is that once it's done in record time...you have nothing for a year. Ordinarily, I prefer to watch 2/3 eps at a time over several days or sometimes weeks. Restraint means better enjoyment, so despite having the whole the season at your fingertips pace yourself. So now my rant is over on to How good was Stranger Things S2...VERY! Before I start gushing I'd like to address the Demogorgon in the room by saying Episode 7 haters gee yerself peace! There was absolutely nothing wrong with the episode and it's placement, Jesus they establish the fact that this will be addressed in the very first episode. It gives some much-enjoyed character development to Eleven and despite claims that it kills the pace I think it gives a needed breather, especially if you are binger. Also, anyone else I've spoken to in person very much enjoyed the episode so there is that. So this season kicks off a year after the events of the first. Will is still having a rough time of it with it being claims of him struggling with PTSD but something more sinister is present. Joyce is dating Samwise Gamgee and Nancy and & Jonathan are pretending they don't love each other and so on. Look the story is great and I could outline plot thread by plot thread but lets put it this way if you want to sit through a compelling nostalgia trip with some of the best ensemble of talented child actors to grace the screen in many years then this is your cuppa tea. There are some pretty great stand out moments, Farrah Fawcett Hairspray anyone? I'm curious to see where the Spielbergian Steven King by a jaunt through Silent Hill goes next and will be like the rest of you. Eagerly anticipating Season 3, which just in case you were in speculative doubt has just been greenlit! Can't wait.

Day 29: Brain Damage:

 Saw this back at Dead by Dawn a few years back, it's certainly a film. I have quite the fondness for this schlocky tongue in cheek affair in which Brian awaken one morning not feeling the best. it turns out that this is because he has a new companion in a smooth-talking symbiotic parasite known as Aylmer. Aylmer's friendship is not free, in exchange for some mind-expanding chemicals that Aylmer excretes, Brian must hep his new friend acquire Brains...human brains to be exact. Not to Brian's credit, he remains fairly oblivious to this for the most part due being trashed out of his gourd.

This film is more comedy than horror but there some pretty gratuitous moments of gore and the films core concept means that there is a whole of lot creative ways to dispatch the brain buffet's and I mean creative. For those who have seen this film, You'll know exactly what scene I'm referring to and those who haven't well go ahead and give it a bash. A great but insane 80's offering.

Day 30: Freddy Vs Jason: 

God this movie is stupid. I mean really stupid. But let's put some of the old bit perspective on this bad boy. Before the MCU, before WB was struggling with the DCEU we had a crossover that horror fanboys were geeking out over as much as I did watching the Avengers: Infinity War trailer. This was the showdown that was eagerly anticipated since Krugers Razor accessorised glove dragged Jason's Mask to depths of hell 10 years prior to the closing seconds of Jason goes to Hell. Was it worth the wait, well probably not but I was still excited to see it, to the point I nearly elbow dropped a boy for spoiling it while I was up a ladder adjusting a Finding Nemo banner. Reckon I'm going to leave that there with no hint of context. As stated the film is stupid but sets it's self up is sort of clever SORT OF. Freddy is in a bit of a funk as now he's all but forgotten due to a plot by local police to hide the truth about the previous murders (yup, that's not made up). The irked Kruger decides he'll dispatch a would be slaughterer for hire and goes about waking Jason up from his rest and sets him loose on the Elm st kids taking credits in a bit of a dick move. When Jason won't come to heel, well that's when the old "Vs" comes into play and the scraps take place in Freddy's dream realm as well as in the real world, and I have to say the set pieces are pretty cool. It's not the best film, hell it's not even a good film but it brainless as the "teenage" fodder in the film and pretty darned enjoyable.

31. Train to Busan: 

And finally, my horror films came to a close for the month with this South Korean cracker. A father escorts his young daughter to Busan by train to see her mum for her birthday. A journey the young girl insists she's capable of going alone, you'll be glad the Father decides not to listen to her as all hell breaks loose when some of those pesky living impaired board the train with a lack of tickets and etiquette of the biting of humans. The rest of the film thunders from one tense set piece to another ensuring the sphincter remains puckered throughout. There is some also very surprising emotional heft throughout and moments that make me test my manly non-crying limits. Director Sang-ho Yeon is definitely one I'll keep an eye out for.

So there you have it. Took me a month to write, next year if I do this I'll be sure to write the reviews as I'm going along. I would appreciate any feedback, comments or discussions you want to have as I require constant validation. This includes suggestions for 2018's 31 Days of Horror. If you have made it this far, thanks and I hope you enjoyed this Macabre Madness.

[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT - ...READY FOR IT? [5.79] After the last one, sure!

Katherine St Asaph: The old Taylor's not quite dead -- that pre-chorus is pure Nashville melody, from melody to bowdlerization ("you should see the things we do" is about as explicit as someone marveling over a particularly large pumpkin harvest.) Like her former/current/who knows anymore rival, "Ready For It" pumps up Swift's numbers by sounding like interstitial music for Big Sports -- premiered for the NFL, currently being stripped for instrumental parts by NBA promos -- but also like blood sports. The track's a bombed-out, post-apocalyptic version of 1989, the Yeezus to "LWYMTD"'s 808s. Or possibly approaching NIN: the pretty date machine of "Blank Space" gone rogue, locking onto someone arbitrary (the gossip algorithms still cross-referencing it against increasingly nonentity dudes) because "I see nothing better." It's romance only in the literal sense -- the jailer/thief scenario is even pulpier than "Bad Romance" managed -- and otherwise love reduced to plan and execution. The verses are alternatively tryhard, artificial and vaguely offensive, as if it isn't Taylor on the mic but Microsoft Tay. But the all-consuming, heat-seeking mania of a certain inadvisable sort of crush is palpable as adrenaline, and stokes the all-consuming, heat-seeking maximalism of Max Martin and team throwing every resource and songwriting trick into ensuring this is a hit. Petty points for Swift saying the word "island" this many times in a track with no trop-house whatsoever, and given that she's enough of an in-joker to come up with "Nils Sjoberg," I bet it's on purpose. [9]

Ramzi Awn: The most commendable thing about "...Ready For It?" is that it completely erases any memory of the single that preceded it. A confusing, feverish dash for relevance, the song makes Katy Perry's "Swish Swish" sound even more fun, an accomplishment not to be taken lightly. [3]

Alex Clifton: The rapping is an atrocity. The production is a slicker version of Sleigh Bells with half the heart. Taylor's enunciation is bizarre: "no one has to know" is such an awkward line delivery, second only to the nasally "he can be my jailor" and "let the games begin." Her vocals are a piss-poor imitation of Rihanna; at first listen, it's hard to find a shred of the Taylor I've known and loved. It's a travesty. And yet. It's 100% a Taylor production, overdramatic, narcissistic, full of easter egg references to old songs like "Haunted" and "Wildest Dreams". It's obsessive dark love writ large: "I keep him forever / like a vendetta" marries romance and vengeance perfectly. And the sheer force of that chorus makes me want to scream "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIIIIIGHT" in public. I love the idea of sexy, dirty Taylor, less concerned with perfection and more with ghosts and robbers and gritty feeling, but the haphazard execution of the verses is so frustrating. Par for the course with all Max Martin creations, though, that chorus is a melodic masterpiece. I've got this on repeat and I'm upset about it. [6]

Eleanor Graham: Who would have guessed that the legacy of Taylor Swift's fifth album "reputation" would be to have production so DIABOLICAL that it makes "Welcome To New York" sound like "Heroes"? No one on pop's A, B or C list should come within 100 feet of something that sounds like this. I've seen comparisons to Yeezus, which is fair because they are comparable in terms of sheer nerve, but on tracks like "New Slaves" or "I'm In It", Kanye's sleaze is a feasible sparring partner for electro-roar. Taylor's Pennsylvania-goth-Bratz-doll-masochism-adjacent-revenge-core is not. You'd think that would be obvious! To, you know, anyone! I don't even know what's happening anymore. The 2 points are mainly for the way she says "go", which does something to me; no, I don't want to talk about it. [2]

Stephen Eisermann: Taylor's thrown caution to the wind and no longer gives any fucks. The provocative chorus and the weird, rapid-fire, off-putting rap/sing hybrid verses are the most prominent examples of her willingness to toss out all consistencies previously found in her music. None of this feels like Taylor and that's fun, but I'm not sure everything works. The verses especially, though lyrically fun, are delivered so oddly that the parts that should be "cool," instead make me cringe - the "Burton" line, specifically. I mean, I'm not sure what I was expecting based on the first single, but it certainly wasn't this, for better or worse. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Taylor writes her tried-and-true narrative of love as tragedy into self-parody. The bare-bones beat and the anti-chorus structure of "...Ready For It?" laughs at the many hits of 1989. Her self-satisfaction is maddening, truly: the snicker to "the Burton to my Taylor" is designed to drive everyone nuts. But I should remind: the real target is not exactly you but, as always, her exes, who she destroys without lifting her voice: "every love I've known in comparison is a failure" doesn't so much rip apart the journal pages where they're enshrined than it sets her entire bookshelf into flames like some great purge. [6]

Claire Biddles: Speculating who the 'real' Taylor Swift is is reductive and boring, but my favourite Taylor Swift is the wide-eyed, extra, romantic, saying-too-much-too-soon Taylor Swift that we get a glimpse of in the bridge, swallowed up before she even gets started by that sub-Kanye womp-womp in place of a chorus. There's a mutated version of her in the verses ("We'll move to an island/and he can be my jailer" -- I'm imagining she's just met the guy for full effect) but the self-conscious, sub-Lana Del Rey delivery dampens it. Perhaps I'm just being selfish, wanting for the Taylor who most relates to (and thus excuses) my embarrassing romantic tendencies, but Cool Girl Taylor's attempts at aloofness are unconvincing. [5]

Alfred Soto: A bad single, an uninteresting bad single. Mouthing "are you ready for it?" over synth bass farts comes off like preparing listeners for the punch line: Taylor Swift rapping with as little regard for cadence as Lou Reed in 1986. At least "The Original Wrapper" had the performer's rage as its subject, affected or not; Swift is writing bad bumper music. [3]

Will Adams: It's standard practice now for Taylor Swift to drop an incendiary lead single that gets the discourse a-churnin', only to reel in the masses for the more palatable, less batshit follow-up (and she's not the only one to do this). But for "I Knew You Were Trouble" and "Blank Space," there was still a distortion of who we thought Taylor Swift was (dubstep; dissection of public image). The distortion in "...Ready For It?" is... distortion. But it's hard to care about whether Swift is stoking more controversy when the song is so bracing. There's nowhere to run as blocks of drums stack atop the opening pounds and warped roars, all culminating in, finally, an actual chorus. Where "Look What You Made Me Do" was a firebomb kindled by thinkpieces, the fire in "...Ready For It?" comes from the song itself. [8]

Iain Mew: Like "Wildest Dreams" with the wild dreams added in. [8]

Joshua Copperman: A couple of years ago, I actually co-wrote a song where we used that phantom/ransom rhyme. Until that song actually comes out, here's Taylor being the ransom phantom instead of someone else haunting her. I wish that the opening line was "Loki was a killer/first time that I saw him," because that would be hilarious for her to bypass the "tilted stage" subtweets altogether and talk about how Hiddleston's now pining over her. These lyrics are also as good as anything she's even written, so a "Loki" joke would work better than whatever she was on about last time. What bugs me, though, is the empty space in the chorus. Taylor's best melodies are stream-of-consciousness, but "in the middle of the night/in my dreams.................... you should see the things we do" feels like something got cut out last-minute. I do love the idea though, the way it flips the narrative of Wildest Dreams in a really interesting way - now, she's seeing him in her wildest dreams. That's the kind of self-referencing and subversion I'd rather see Taylor do. [6]

Edward Okulicz: So many of the ingredients of Good Taylor Pop Songs are in this one -- dreamy and melodic chorus, don't care attitude, groan-inducing but quotable lyrics -- but the production feels really dated (to around the time of Red, in fact), stalling the track when it tries to accelerate. [6]

Sonia Yang: On one hand, this is generic pop I would have brushed off had it been any other artist. On the other, it's refreshing to see Swift step out of the zone of what I've come to expect from her in particular. I love the ominous synths and how the entire track has a spy thriller vibe. The best part is that breathy prechorus, you can really feel the "island breeze" as Swift delivers that line. The chorus, unfortunately, is a wisp of a thing that doesn't have any impact. The melody neither compels nor is purposefully anticlimactic. The lyrics, while not quite Love Story levels of awkward, are not great; the Taylor-Burton reference is campy at best and cringe at worst. [5]

Jonathan Bradley: Taylor Swift has rolled out singles from Reputation like trailers for the next release from a blockbuster film franchise: not only songs, "Look What You Made Me Do" and now "...Ready For It" (next: "Gorgeous"?) have acted as teasers for a new product launch. Unveiled during a college football broadcast, "...Ready For It" sounds like sports, like a pre-game huddle, like a highlights reel from last season building excitement to see how the new line-up will perform. "Welcome to New York" did the same for 1989 and was fine, but "...Ready For It" is better because it crams more into its pop overload: a rap that traces the "Empire State of Mind" flow, K-pop synth blasts, a gleefully audacious pun on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and a chorus about "dreams" and doing things in the night that throws it all in for the romanticism Swift has always been so resolved to earnestly commit herself. If Reputation should turn out to be her New Jersey album, and if all the stage-setting should ultimately overshadow the show itself, I hope we'll one day rediscover how good the songs themselves were. [8]