#fuckkkkkkk i used to hate her and now I'm just like 'you know what

[singsofecho-misc]

when did maturing turn into begrudgingly liking Satine

[hersheythecure]

.

This man was really working overtime. Finding out how much he's done to me is hard af. I didn't know someone could place thoughts in your mind. Wow. I'm just like shocked. Feels like my memories are false. Fuckkk.

He has been hurting me when I'm dissociated and high. He has weapons zed my system against me. They feel terrible.

It was any of your faults. He's had so much practice before you. You still did your best. He made you think he was protecting you but he was not. He was tugging you around like a toy. All of you.

The implications. He never loved you. He never cared about you. There is no good inside if him. Do you see. Someone who rapes you in your sleep. Someone who beats you in your sleep.

How to did I survive that shit. He was making me have chronic pain. He was hitting me so I couldn't walk. He was drugging me and raping me and giving me utis. He's been putting me in the hospital. All of my falls he's bee. Setting them up. He's been trying to kill me for years. Fickkk.

But you survived. You didn't go down. You're one strong ass motherfucker I give it to you. He's going to pay. I promise you. Prison is the least of his worries. The absolute least. I dare him to come for me. I dare you. You hate yourself so much. I can see it. You hate who you are. You hate what you like. You just hate yourself. And I don't. I love myself. I do. Very much so. That's the difference between me and you. You have hurt me but I'm still fucking beautiful inside and out. You are deplorable. You freaking evil son of a bitch. May nature wipe you from it. Any everyone who helped you. Who stood by you. May nature run her coarse.

There is no rehabilitation for people like this.

My parts are in a bit of disarray learning from my therapist everything were piecing together. See I've been getting older memories back before Marcus. Now I'm getting the memories from my time with this man. Seeing what was hidden from my by ME not my parts. Well then by my brain. While I was there. Fuckkkkk it just gets worse innnitttttt.

Dissociation. Fuck my psychiatrist. Let me get this approval for emdr and they will see I'm dead ass a system and I need treatment. Fuckkkkkkk

Fuckkkkkkkk

Fuckkkkkkkkk

Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Oh fuckkkkkkkk

Fuck

Fuck

Wow

Wow

Wowwwwwww

Holy shit

Yea ain't no God up there. Ain't no motherfuxking wayyyyy no higher power want me to get raped over a d over again. To get beat in my sleep over and over again. Suck dick. Take your prayers and shove them up your assess.

Nah.

What.

Yall see why i ran. My brain knew bro. Knewwwww.

Fuckkkkkkk my kid.

Omg

Omg

What can I even do with this information now?

Nothing

Deal with it.

He hurt you bad. You loved a piece of him he showed you. But the rest was there when you were asleep or high. That was his way of manipulating your memories. While you're on MM or THC. Feeding it to you. He's the reason you needed it in the first place. He was hurting you since you lived in GA in 2020. He was hurting you and causing your unexplained body pain. Yes. He set up 99 percent of your falls.

I'm nit sure the extent his family was involved. Butyou can't trust any of them. Ever. You understand. You don't have to. That's dead okay. Finitoooooo.

We ain't looking backwards. Every man for them fucking selves. Any ties to anyone. Fuck outta here. I need yall to hear me. Anybody that was gonna be here is here. Don't feel bad for nobody cause nobody give a fuck about you. We good. We been handling this. We gon handle everything else. Baby girl. I'm so proud of you.

I wonder if our bone density helped us not have broken bones. 🤔 I learned bones are an organism. They will become harder if the environment calls for it. Did getting hit by a car make my bones get harder and denser which made me sink instead of float in boot camp? Hmmmm don't know lol. But I'm a strong ass bitch. And hot Girls the gang has arrived. I felt them come in this morning.

We are capable. We are strong. We are here. We matter. We are loved. By the best person ever. Our kiddo. And our uncle and aunt. And our mom. Our mark us being left wherever we go. Even when we don't even think. Even in places we care less to pay attention to.

My therapist said I'd have bruises. Wtf bro how come I don't remember??????

I will.

It'll take time.

Wow. This is a horror movie. Holy shit. Not a lifetime but a horror lifetime. Okay maybe it's still a lifetime movie. Yall remember the hand that rocks the cradle. Holy fuck. That shit tucked me up. But this on that.

Of course dexter is his favorite show. Of course Stephen King is his favorite author of course the signs were thereeeeeee. I just ain know to read them.