#fucking popped his cherry too he got the tip in and couldn't hold it

[star--nymph]

Makes my Lavellan an insatiable whore for Cullen because he's fucked up like what you guys gonna do, put her in hot sex jail so she can have hot sex with her hot fucked up little ex-templar?

[cvnntagious]

𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦

☆ a fratboy!chris sturniolo blurb for @chrissexygf...

chris sat with his head leaned all the way back on the couch, glossy red eyes staring up at the white ceiling above him. Your hair was tugged at by the clawing of his fingers as he groaned, shifting in his seat ever so slightly. "fuck, mama, takin' me so good." then he took another drag of the prerolled pinched between his pointer and thumb.

your mouth engulfed his length, a muffled gag when his tip hit the back of your throat. The vibration forced the smoke he'd just inhaled out of his mouth and nose when he hissed, eyes wide as he finally looked down at you. the half-lidded look he gave you as you stared up at him through your lashes made a small smirk appear on your face. his stomach turned at the sight of your lips wrapped around his dick.

a noise chris hadn't known he could make came from his mouth at your painfully slow bobbing of your head. your movements gave him little to no satisfaction, and yet, he was close. so fucking close. se squirmed in your mouth, fighting the urge to just hold your head and fuck his cock into your face.

"come on pretty girl, give me more. please— fuck, i need it" chris whined, even surprising himself. the way he spoke to you was hot, and he could've swore he saw your brows raise at him because of it.

your pace picked up, making chris' head fall back onto the backrest of the couch. his jaw went slack at the way your tongue swirled on his salty, leaking tip, eyes practically rolling back. despite the pleasure overtaking his body, his blunt-free hand tried desperately to push you off of him.

surely he'd regret the way he whimpered like a bitch under your control in the morning, but right now he was too close and too high to care. he allowed any and all noises of pleasure to slip past his lips shamelessly, clearly trying to fight off his impending orgasm. just as he opened his mouth to tell you he couldn't hold back anymore, it was gone...

"so i don't know what drugs you took tonight, but i asked if you had an eigth for me and my friends," chris heard your voice again, making him look up from his lap, "i can pay?"

he clicked his tongue, shifting in his seat with a shiver when the tip of his cock that strained in his pants brushed against the denim. "i- yeah, i got it," chris breathed out, admittedly embarrassed by the way he'd had some sort of wet daydream in the middle of his dealings. god, you were cute though, wearing a flowy, floral dress that stood out in a house full of girls wearing their most revealing outfits.

you nodded your head, watching him as he picked up a jar off the table, then looking back up at you. He was very clearly faded beyond belief - maybe the highest at his party. He could tell you though, you'd never touched weed in your life. he was happy to pop your cherry. your weed cherry, that is: "hey, uh-" you heard him start as he reached to hand the jar to you, "what'd you say your name was again?"

○

"she fill my mind up with ideas / i'm the highest on the room." -travis scott

[donutloverxo]

First time

Kinktober day 15 - Virginity kink

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - So anon asked for step dad Steve and I can't do that to Steve. This started out as step dad ransom but then me being me couldn't go through with it🤦‍♀️ so he's supposed to be your stepmoms husband which still makes him your step dad, I think.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Warnings - 18+ONLY! smut(m/f), dub conish, painful sex, unprotected sex, implied age gap, loss of virginity, bloodplay.

Pairing - Step dad!Ransom Drysdale x reader

Word count - 2.3k

Masterlists are linked in the bio!

“Oh! Don’t act like you care. I can tell you wouldn’t give a shit if I left for an entire year. I’m not one of your barely legal bimbos you can manipulate however you like,” Karen ranted on and on to Ransom. You didn’t know what they were fighting about today - you didn’t care to find out either.

“God! Would you fucking give me a break? All you do is yap your trap all day long,” he snapped at her.

You looked at the main door, to leave your house you would have to go through the hallway where both of them were having their ‘lively' discussion, which you had no intentions to be a part of.

Karen gave him a deadly glare - which literally gave you chills even though you weren’t on the receiving end of it.

She walked closer to him, until she was only inches away from his face, “For your own good,” wrapping her palm around his chiselled jaw “don’t forget your place. You do not curse at me or yell at me.”

He didn’t say anything back, simply holding her unwavering glare.

She looked at the stairs, her face instantly lighting up into a faux smile upon seeing you. “Darling, what are you doing there? Come here,” she said extending an arm to you. You walked down to her, she engulfed you into a hug, soothing a hand over your head, “Mommy has to go away for a while, to Paris for fashion week. I know that’s not something you’d be interested in.”

You shook your head. No, those events were a bit too stuffy for you. You dared to sneak a glance at Ransom, he was fuming. His jaw clenched hard, his face and neck flushed as he heaved. You weren’t sure if that rage was directed towards you or your stepmother.

“Fuck this shit,” he spit before leaving and slamming the door behind him. You cringed at the loud noise it made. You were relieved that he was gone, given what he had done in his impulsivity and rage, you didn’t want to be around him when he was that angry.

“Well?” Karen’s question snapped you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“You better not be going to meet that Jack or John or whatever.”

“His names Jeremy, Karen, and I really like him. If you got to know him - ”

“I don’t need to know him. He does not bring anything to the table. He doesn’t even deserve to breathe in the same air as you.”

“A rich guy can treat me badly too. I don’t know why you think I can’t be happy with a normal person.” you shook your head. She of all people should not be questioning your taste in men.

“His fathers a fucking high school teacher, honey,” she scoffed. “No, I won’t have you dating a nobody.”

“Well, Ransoms a friggin' murderer!” you screamed. “What kind of man conspires to kill his own grandfather?!”

She had married him just months after he was declared 'not guilty' of not one, but TWO murders. Although, everyone knew that he definitely did it.

You begged her not to marry him. But she seemed to be completely smitten with him, besides she had never really valued your opinion or seen you as an adult.

“Say what you will about Ransom. But he has the name - he’s a Thrombey, he comes from old money. As annoying as he can be - he’s not hideous to look at either, I suppose.”

That was the only thing you might be inclined to agree with. You hated that some part of you was attracted to him. Even though, he was a terrible person. He treated ‘the help', the people who raised you and cared for you as if they were beneath him.

He treated Karen like shit - which she may deserve, you knew of her affairs and the one French boyfriend she was visiting under the guise of business.

He was however, completely indifferent to you. He never got in your way, sometimes you could feel his eyes on you, following every move you made. Sometimes you wondered... if maybe... some part of him found you attractive as well.

You knew you weren’t much to look at, especially compared to your stepmother, but then why else would he be staring so much?

Was he plotting to OFF you as well? To get you out of his way. You’d be inheriting most of your late fathers estate.

***

You closed the door behind you, as quietly as you could so as not to wake anyone. You got home a little later than midnight. You weren’t used to staying out that long but it was one of your best friends birthday.

“What were you doing out so late?” You yelped as you heard his voice.

“Ransom! Oh my gosh, you scared me,” you tried to catch your breathe.

“It’s after twelve. Who were you out with?” he raised a brow. “And what the hell are you wearing?”

“Huh?” you looked down at your bodycon dress. You weren’t used to wearing clothes that tight but this one just seemed so pretty and perfect to capture Jeremy’s attention. “It’s Karen’s design,” you shrugged. It was provocative but classy and respectable which was your stepmothers brand.

“What kind of message do you think you’re sending dressing like that? If you want to be the talk of the town - ”

“Ransom, oh my god! It’s just a dress and I’m - I’m a virgin!” you confessed. It wasn’t something you were ashamed of - why would you be?

“What?” his eyes widened and his mouth gaped.

He had known you were a pretty little thing since the moment he met you. So shy and demure and pure. Of course you’d be a virgin. Like a perfect present waiting to be unwrapped.

You almost smiled at that. Stunning Ransom like that made you feel smug for some reason. “Yeah. I’m saving myself for the right guy.” you replied in a small voice, averting his gaze and looking at the carpet.

He took two long strides and walked over to you, before you knew it he had a firm grasp on your waist, pulling you against his hard chest. “And what’s the right guy like, sweetheart?”

“Someone - uh,” your brain blanked, having him that close to you, feeling his warm breath on your face almost made you black out.

He bent his neck till he was closer to your ear, “Well, don’t lose it to Jeremy or whatever. He won’t even know what to do with a sweet thing like you.”

You gasped, trying to push him away but his stance was unrelenting. “That is so inappropriate, Ransom! You’re married!”

He grabbed at your failing wrists, pinning them behind your back, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. Karen and I have an arrangement. You ever been kissed before?” he asked, his tongue peaking out to kick his plump lips.

“Wh - ” you swallowed a heavy lump of air, looking away from him, “No,” tears streaming down your face.

He chuckled, licking a firm stripe up your cheek, moaning at the taste of your tears. “We’ll fix that tonight, princess.”

You shuddered in his hold, it finally hit you. He intended to have his way with you. “Karen!” you screamed at the top of your lungs.

“She’s not home, sweetheart,” he smirked, pushing his knee between your legs, “I thought you wanted this? I heard you saying my name while touching yourself. I’ll do better than your little fingers ever could,” he grinded his knee against your core.

You whimpered, scared out of your mind for your life and ashamed. Ashamed of being caught, of being aroused and getting more and more wetter. Your hips rolling against his knee to seek more friction.

“That’s a good girl,” he praised, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth till it hurt and then releasing it with a pop. “If you keep being good and take what I give you - I’ll make you feel good too.” He held on to your forearm, dragging you up the stairs towards his room.

“No, no... not in your room. In mine, please,” you whimpered, his nails digging in the flesh of your arm. They might have an 'arrangement' but you doubted Karen would appreciate you doing the deed in her bed.

“Fine with me,” he dragged you along, locking your door behind him as he pushed you down on your mattress.

He pulled his t-shirt over his head, quickly discarding all his clothes. You couldn’t help but shamelessly ogle him. His broad shoulders, defined chest and abs. He was bigger than any boy you knew. Your jaw dropped at the size of his cock, slapping against his abdomen when he pulled down his boxers.

“Like what you see, princess?” he smirked.

Hovering over you, his hands tearing your dress apart, you feebly tried to stop him, “That was expensive, Ransom!”

“I can just buy you another one,” he winked, rolling your panties down your legs.

You rolled your eyes. Yeah, with my own money.

Your arms flew up to your naked chest and mound, to cover up and save your modesty.

He growled, pulling them away and pressing them on the mattress above you. “These better fucking stay here all night, understood?”

You were too afraid to do anything but nod.

“Never popped anyone’s cherry before... this should be interesting,” he snaked a hand between your bodies, pinching your clit causing you to jerk away from him.

He didn't bother fingering you or preparing you, he knew you'd be tighter without it - he had about enough of foreplay anyway.

“Please, be gentle,” you requested, looking up at him through your doe eyes, pleading him - you had never felt so utterly helpless.

He cruelly laughed at your misery, his lips curled up in a devilish smirk, “I don't do gentle, kitten. You'll take what I fucking give you - ” he growled positioning himself between your legs, brushing his leaking tip over your chaste, untouched folds “and then thank me for it. Like the slut you are.”

You couldn't even begin to grasp or point out the logical fallacy of a virgin slut as his cock plunged into your heat, piercing through your virginity, splitting you in half.

Your back arched off the bed, you slapped your hands over your mouth to keep from screaming. It was painful, that was all you felt - pain. As he held onto your waist, his fingers digging in your flesh, his hips pulling out and then driving into you with an unrelenting pace.

You could not stop crying, or twisting your head from side to side. Knowing it was all you could do - he wouldn’t stop - no matter how much you pleaded. You weren’t sure you wanted him to stop.

He pressed a few kisses and nips to the crook of your neck, sucking on a spot as you held back a moan.

He propped himself up on his elbows to look down at you, your eyes and nose swollen, your make up running down your face - you looked more beautiful than you ever had before.

“You look so pretty when you cry, kitten,” he cooed, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your lips.

He kept driving his cock into you, searching for that special spot as you kept mewling under him.

His heart swelled with pride, nobody’s ever fucked you before, he’s the first man that’s ever seen you naked or to be inside you.

“Do you want me to stop?” he stilled his hips, “Just say the word then.” He knew you wouldn’t.

You sniffled, shaking your head, “No, keep going, please.”

His lips curled up in a grin, taking some kind of twisted pleasure in your misery, “You’re something else, kitten.”

“Oh,” you closed your eyes, your toes curling, your legs holding onto his waist as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you.

Ransom leaned over you when he felt your heat convulsing around him, pulling your earlobe between his teeth, “This is the tightest little cunt I’ve ever fucked,” he grunted, driving each word home with a powerful thrust. “You like that, kitten?”

All you could do was nod, the pain was well as much more subdued now but you were still sore and exhausted. “Yes, I like it.”

“We’re going to do this every night from now on.”

He pulled out fisting his cock over you - he wasn’t going to impregnate his newest plaything - his white, hot spend painting your stomach and titts.

Your fingers swirled the sticky substance around on your skin, you were curious to see what it tasted like. You clenched your legs shut, your pussy still tingly. This was not how you planned your first time to go but you had no regrets.

You knew you were absolutely wrong to think so but being desired by Ransom gave you a strange kind of pride.

You gasped when you heard a click, sitting up on your elbows you looked at Ransom clicking pictures of your pussy with his phone.

“Wh - what’re you doing?” you tried to close your legs but he kept a firm hand on your knee.

“Just need a souvenir,” he responded, taking some more of his cum on your body and then putting his phone in his pocket. He swirled a finger around the blood on your inner thigh, bringing it up to paint the crimson on your mouth, “Go clean yourself up. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

You smiled as he kissed you, “Okay, Ransom.”

Even with your pussy freshly fucked - you couldn’t wait for his next visit.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤

[dearlyjinie]

sniffles & needles (m)

Pairing: Mark Tuan x reader

plot: there isnt any, Mark is horny and finds out that best way to get rid of a cold is sex...

genre: smut, 18+, pwp

Word count: 2.1k

warnings: pwp, masterbating (F & M ish), oral(m), teasing, riding, mirror sex(slightly) daddy kink, Dom-Mark, dom-sub play, dick pics, slit shaming, spanking, horny mark, grinding, fingering (f), creampies, vaginal sex, no protection (remember wrap it before you tap it) thats it i think?

a/n: just a lil something bc today is my bday 🥳and i wanted to give you guys a present lmao, but this is my way to improve in my smut so i hope you guys enjoy this, pls lmk what you think about this as always feedback is always welcome. 

 “You don't feel hot, wait let me take your temperature,” you lift your hand off your boyfriend's forehead, leaving him the living room sofa as you run to get the thermometer.

“I found it” sang, coming to see your sick boyfriend pouting, his arms wrapped around his torso “what’s wron- if you’re pouting because i won’t have sex with you, then you should stop” you say sternly, poking his cheeks, you motion him to open his mouth and insert the thermometer. 

“But whyyy” he whines making you roll your eyes at his childish antics “because your sick baby and i don't wanna get sick”  the thermometer dings letting you know that the time is up, you take it out of mouth checking the number displayed on the small screen. 

“Your fever is down,” you smile. 

“See!!! I'm all better now common babe” Mark gets up from his spot on the couch, pulling you close to his body wrapping his muscular arms around your waist. He nuzzles into your neck inhaling your scent, “please” he whispers, slowly grinding on your ass, you start to feel his bulge. 

Taking a deep breath, you pull away from your horny lover. You look at him annoyed, ever since he woke up he’s been trying to get you to sleep with him. No matter how much you wanted him at the moment you had to restrain yourself, because right now you couldn't afford getting sick, no it was not happening. 

You left the horny man in the living alone suffering from his demise, groaning he plopped down on the sofa he rubbed his face in annoyance “why did i get sick” he whined, coughing. 

“Here take this” you handed him a cough drop “and take off your shirt,” smirking, he put the cherry flavored medicine in mouth sucking on it, humming as it started to make his sore throat feel much better. 

“Oh so did I finally seduce you?” he said, taking off his shirt trying his best to be sexy as his hands reach down to pull the hem of his sweatpants, you stop him showing him the container of vicks vaporub that you held.

“I knew it was too good to be true,” he sighed dramatically, letting you rub the ointment on his chest “you hate me,” you laughed as he dramatically turned away. 

Just when you were about to leave, he tugged your arm making you fall on the sofa landing on his lap “but i love you” he said placing soft kisses on your neck. 

“M-Mark” you accidentally let out a moan, embarrassed you moved his hands from your hips and got off his lap “you smell like vaporub,” you tease running way.  Mark smirks as he watches you leave to your shared bedroom. 

He knew you were close to braking, there was no way he was gonna give up now; especially after hearing that sweet moan of yours. 

Sighing you plop down on your bed “fuck that was close,” you rub your thighs together feeling a familiar wetness starting to form between your legs.

Fuck 

You tapped your fingers on your bare thigh, trying to distract yourself from your urges when you heard the familiar ding from your phone letting you know that someone messaged you, hoping it was the update about your online purchase you picked up your phone only to see it was from Mark. 

Curious to see what he had sent you unlocked your phone. Wide eyed you dropped your phone on the bed, mouth agape as you tried to process what you just saw. 

It was dick pic, more importantly it was Mark's dick. 

Picking up your phone again, you opened the picture. It was an old one, you knew it because well...you've seen it before. He had his pants off leaving enough room to free his hard cock, he posed grabbing it by the base, the tip red and leaking with pre-cum. You licked your lips, feeling yourself getting more aroused by the minute as you imagined yourself tasting the salty taste of his cum.

 Your hand slowly travels south as the reach the waistband of your shorts. Spreading your legs, you gasped as you rubbed your slit. You wondered if he was touching himself right now thinking of you as you thought of him, if his tip is just as red it is in the picture, leaking with cum. You let out a quiet moan as your fingers found your gaping hole barley penetration as you gathered your juices and rubbed on your neglected clit. 

You heard another ding from your grabbing it you opened your messaging app, only to find a selfie of Mark. This time it was new, he is smirking at the camera holding from a low angle allowing you to see everything from waist up. You bite your lip, finally inserting a finger in you, as your eyes traveled to the small patch of his pubic hair, pouting seeing that you could only see leaking tip, and barely at that.

“Why are you pouting princess,” You heard Mark’s voice, quickly taking out your hands from your shorts you sat up leaning on the headboard. Smirking Mark walked up to you, naked “you know the best way to get rid of a cold is sex.” 

His dick stood up, tip angry as pre-cum leaked from it begging you to put it between your lips. You averted your eyes noticing him smirking at you, you felt the bed move as he climbed on it. 

“Don't look away baby girl,” he kissed your jaw, “I saw what you were doing,” he said, nipping at your neck his hands on your breast, squeezing it. Blushing, you felt his fingers on your chin turning you towards him, attaching his lips with yours, you finally gave in. 

Lifting up your shirt up your arms throwing it, Mark smirked looking at your exposed breast “god you’re so fucking beautiful” he says holding the soft flesh as he took your nipple in his mouth, moaning as he twirls his tongue on your sensitive bud. 

Arching your back, you pull on his hair with one hand as the other one slips into your shorts inserting a finger into your core desperately wanting to relieve the tension you felt, just as you are going to insert the second one you feel Mark’s hand wrap around your wrist pulling it out your shorts. You whine feeling empty looking at your boyfriend, bringing your fingers to his plump lips, inserting them in his mouth, letting a groan at your sweet taste. 

“You taste so fucking good, baby girl,” he places two fingers on your lips, telling to lick them. You gladly take them in your mouth, sucking on them. “Good girl,” he says taking off your shorts with his other hand. 

“So wet,” his fingers find your clit, drawing small circles on it as he gives you small kisses on your neck. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders as he finally inserts two fingers in you, biting on his shoulder as his pumps start to get rougher. 

“O-Oh fuck Mark,” you moan ridding his fingers as he pumps harder bringing you to your climax. 

Mark takes his fingers out of you sucking them clean, letting you catch your breath. “You good, baby?” he asked, caressing your face, kissing your temple. Nodding you get off the headboard, “sit there,” you point to where you were sitting, compiling he scooted over.  

“What now?” he becomes quiet when you grab his length pumping it, “let me take care of you daddy” you say wrapping your lips around his tip circling your tongue. You moan tasting the saltines of the dried off cum from earlier, letting it go with a pop. You take in his length in bobbing your head up and down. You feel his hand wrap around your hair pulling it into a makeshift ponytail pulling you off his dick, a string of saliva leaving your lips attaching to his tip “do it properly, baby” he says whipping saliva from your chin “ you don’t wanna get punished don’t you baby girl?”. 

He pushes your head lower, making you wrap your lips on his cock taking it all in “that's right, take my cock” you feel his pubic hairs tickling your nose, you grab onto his thighs steadying yourself as he fucks your mouth. 

He watches as you from the mirror in front as you lift your ass up, hands in your soaked pussy playing with yourself while he fucks his length into your mouth. 

“You’re such a fucking slut” he lands a hard slap on your ass making you whimper into his dick, “playing with yourself while sucking daddy off” he spanks you again.

You could his thighs flex under your touch, he’s close you think, taking him deeper in your throat. 

“Ah fuck im close,” he whimpers “are you close y/n?” with your mouth full, you moan out a small yes. 

“Oh god, come with me” he says, giving you his last thrust as he shoots his hot cum into your mouth, you feel your legs tremble, you came.

Swallowing, you look at him, dazed from your second orgasm of the night. You smile watching him catch his breath, you grab his semi-hard cock as it twitches in your hand, slowly pumping it. 

“Oh fuck, baby” Mark leaned his head back, hitting the headboard. You got on his lap attaching your lips together as you grind on his length coating it with your juices. 

“M-mark” you moan as you feel his tip rub your clit, you hover over his length aligning it to your entrance.  

You moan Mark’s name, feeling enter “holy shit baby, you’re so fucking tight” Mark says wrapping his lips around your tit. 

You move slowly and start to rock your hips faster, getting used to his size. 

“F-fuck yeah, just like that baby” Mark moans into your ear as you bounce on his dick harder, matching your pace he thrust harder, hitting your cervix. 

The room is filled with the sounds of your moan and skin slapping.

You felt the coil in your stomach tighten as your orgasm approached, “M-Mark, I” you tried to talk, with each thrust you felt like you were gonna break. Mark felt the way you clenched around his cock, and the way you gripped onto his shoulders “are you gonna come, Y/n?” he asked, not trusting your voice anymore you simply nodded biting down on his shoulder as you let pleasure take over “I’m gonna cum too, cum on my cock babe,” he said rubbing your clit bring you to your orgasm. 

Stars erupted over your vision for a second as you came. Your back arched while your cunt squeezed down on the dick that was still carving its way through you. 

“f-Fuck yeah thats my good girl, coming on daddy’s cock like that” Mark said thrusting harder, chasing his high. You felt his thrust getting sloppier as he neared his orgasm, his dick twitch inside you as he pumped his cum into, his torso pressed against yours. 

He held you close, staying inside still his dick got too soft to stay inside, he pulled out giving you a kiss.  He laid you on the bed next to him, watching you catch your breath “Thank you for that, now you’ll see i'm gonna be better by tomorrow,” he said laughing as he got off the bed to get a wet towel to clean you and some water.

Smiling at him you waited for his return, ready to cuddle and go to sleep when all of a sudden you felt your throat start to tickle, you ignore the feeling thinking that your throat is most probably sore from the blowjob till you start to see the oh so familiar sensation of your nose being tickled and you let out a sneeze. 

“Fuck” 

* * *

“I'm sorry baby,” Mark cooed as he warps you around a blanket, you caught Mark’s cold because neither  you or your boyfriend couldn't control your hormones so now you are the one to suffer from the consequences. 

“Well you know” Mark starts off as you take a sip of your tea, “to get rid of a cold it's best to have se-” before he was able to finish the sentence you threw a cushion on his face, laughing he raised his hands up admitting defeat. 

“At least it worked the first time” he whispered, scrolling through Netflix in search of something to watch. 

[willow-salix]

Random bit of fun that popped into my head. Grandma Tracy + Selene + cooking sherry =

Selene checked the recipe again and nodded to Grandma. It couldn't be that hard could it, to be all domesticated and shit? She had many manly men that she had to cook for, not that she went in for all the "a woman's place is in the kitchen" stereotypes,  but she did think it was important that they came home to something better than their Grandmother's cooking attempts after a tough rescue, and this one looked like it would be a nightmare mission. 

She could cook most things, basic and homely she called it, having learnt baking from her Nan, although she did like to challenge herself now and then.

She had decided in her infinite wisdom that if she was capable of making simple dishes like lasagna, chilli's, soups, burgers, pizza's pancakes, breakfasts and the like, coupled with the fact that she was actually good at baking, she could manage to help Grandma in her mission. It shouldn't be that hard to make their boys some lovely fresh donuts, something they all loved.  Yep, that was a plan! 

Grandma Tracy had wandered back and forth while Selene was assembling the ingredients, flour, salt, yeast, eggs, milk and melted butter and insisted on helping, trying to add her own selections to the mix which Selene gently vetoed, hiding them in the microwave. It would be fine, with her overseeing the proceedings Grandma couldn't get into too much trouble, could she? 

Selene directed Grandma as they slowly added the wet ingredients into a big mixing bowl, one at a time until they made a relatively smooth mixture, then Grandma added that little by little to the flour, Selene mixing with her hands until they had a rough dough. 

She dribbled some oil onto the worktop, dumped out the bowl and began to knead the slop, gradually feeling it grow thicker and less gloopy, more springy. Damn this was hard work!

"Let me have a try, you youngsters don't know the meaning of hard work."

Selene stepped aside to let Grandma T take her turn, but within a minute the older lady was huffing as bad as Selene was. 

They tag teamed back and forth for a few minutes but her fingers were cramping and she was sure that she had inhaled so much flour she'd be sneezing bread rolls.  She went to wipe her forehead but her hands were so greasy with the oil she gave in. She didn't want to resort to cheating, but needs must. 

She whispered a little chant under her breath when Grandma made her excuses to go to the bathroom and watched as the dough kneaded itself, plumping up and down and flipping itself over as she washed her hands and settled down with a can of cherry coke. The dough flopped itself back into its bowl after a few more minutes and she covered it over and placed it on the windowsill to rise for an hour.  

And she promptly forgot about it, wandering off with Grandma to catch up on "The bold and the beautiful" a TV show that Grandma watched religiously and that had become Selene's guilty pleasure whenever she was on the island. 

Upon returning to the kitchen after learning that Chico was Marion's secret son and that Charlie's amnesia was fake, they found the bowl overflowing and the dough creeping its way towards the floor.

"Stupid magic kneading!" Selene dived at the dough, nudging Armstrong out for the way just as he tried to bat at it with his paw. "No! Bad cat. Leave it!" 

She cradled it in her arms like it was a baby, a big, messy, yeasty baby that was determined to get the fuck out of dodge. She balanced on one leg as she tried to hold it up with her knee, kneeing it like she was playing keepy uppy with a football. 

"Grandma, get a bowl! A big one!" She gave it a big push upwards as Grandma shoved a huge bowl under it, catching the evil, still growing blob. 

"What's wrong with it?" Grandma asked as she poked at it with her finger, diving back when it looked like it would consume her whole hand. 

"Nothings wrong with it, I'm sure it'll be fine."

Against her better judgement, and Selene wasn't known to be entirely sane at the best of times, she grabbed the biggest saucepan they had and filled it with oil, setting it on the stove to boil. Should only take a few minutes....  

She watched as the oil began to bubble and smoke,  knowing it was about as hot as it would get. Witches didn't like boiling oil, call her silly but that had always been something to avoid in the olden days, which was probably why she had taken the few minutes to kit herself out in a huge apron, Scott's spare bike helmet and a pair of Virgil's thick work gloves. Couldn't be too careful. 

She dug her hands into the dough, hitting it with her elbow when it looked like it might try to be the one to eat her before they cooked it. "No! Down! Bad dough!" 

She was sure it would be fine once it was cooked,  witches made everything a bit more lively, the boys could attest to that.

"Watch out Grandma, don't get too close." 

She scooped out a handful and rolled it into a ball then holding it at arm's length, dropped it in the oil like it was a hand grenade. Boom, the oil jumped up to meet her and she stepped back with a squeak of shock. Not good. Nope nope so much nope. Not doing that again. 

"Oh don't worry, it always does that when I cook too," Grandma shrugged as she crossed to the fridge to get herself a drink. "Keep going, it'll be fine."

After rolling another ball, which she caught before it rolled off the counter and across the floor yelling  'cry freedom', she sourced a pair of BBQ tongs to hold it with and dropped it carefully in the oil. 

"That seemed to work," Grandma encouraged. "Keep doing that."

Ball after ball followed and her roll, grab and drop operation was going so well she completely forgot that the oil was actually cooking the damn things. 

"Uh…little too brown maybe…" she fished them out and dumped them into a bowl lined with kitchen towel. She poked them, were they OK? 

"They'll be fine with some powdered sugar on them," Grandma proclaimed wisely, although Selene wasn't too sure. "Do the rest, that's nowhere near enough to feed my boys."

Grandma supervised as Selene slowly worked her way through the dough mass, which seemed to have lost its determination now she had effectively scooped half of it away, though it was still making a strange wheezing noise as it attempted to grow some more. She'd soon put a stop to that! She quickly rolled and tossed more balls into the oil, having perfected her drop and duck technique.  Paranoid that she'd burn the next lot she got them out earlier...Perhaps a little too early, as they stuck to her tongs as she slapped them into the bowl. 

"Damn it."

"Jelly will fix them, " Grandma nodded sagely, "Jelly fixes everything."

Selene threw the last of the balls, now looking slightly less ball like and more like lumps of dough that she was too fucked off with to fix, and began to search the cupboards for something to insert the jam inside the balls. 

She located a turkey baster that Parker had insisted they needed to cook a decent Christmas dinner, and that Alan had secretly been using to squirt the Gordon with. Selene had filled it with whisky that one time and used it to fire at Scott from opposite ends of the couch in an attempt to reach each others mouths. She grinned at the memory.

As if reading her mind- maybe she was a witch too- Grandma vanished and reappeared with half a bottle of cooking sherry. 

"Would you like a little taste? I find it helps me relax sometimes when I'm cooking, you're too tense."

Well, that might explain a few of Grandma's more adventurous dishes. 

Selene looked at the bottle, she could actually do with a little of that right now. She held out her coke can and Grandma poured a healthy splash into the remains of her coke.

"Don't tell John," Selene warned as she gulped down some of the drink for strength as she faced the fried dough balls she was supposed to fix. 

She grabbed a pot of smooth jam out of the cupboard and sucked some up into the baster -not that easy to do it turned out- and holding one of the cooked balls she stabbed it with the end of the rubber syringe. It went right through.  

"Shit!" 

She tried again, splitting another one. 

"Fuck!" 

"Language, Selene!" 

"Sorry, Grandma."

"Let me try," Sally managed to get the tip in one and squirted a generous amount into the donut. But didn't count on the force of her squeezing making the donut shoot off the end and fly across the room to smack Armie in the eye.

"Fuck!" 

"Grandma!" Selene was shocked, but had the terrible urge to giggle. 

Sorry," Grandma apologised, both to Selene and the cat, trying again.

                                    ***

The bowl was a jammy,  powdered sugar covered, slightly oily mess and Selene was on her third can of sherry and coke and honestly, she no longer really gave a shit. 

Who's stupid idea had this been? It was the thought that counted right? 

Grandma had given up over an hour ago and gone to bed, knowing the boys would be heading home soon and Selene desperately needed a shower. She had jam in her hair, sugar sticking to her hands and she'd lost the will to live. 

She plonked the bowl in the middle of the kitchen counter. 

"Sexy spaceman of mine," she texted, "sorry they look like shit…yeah, can't really explain what happened there…but I'll be naked in bed if that helps." She snapped a picture to go with it and called it good, promising to clean up in the morning. 

And she wound her way on slightly unsteady feet,  up the stairs and into the bathroom to shower off the remains of her one and only attempt to cook something you could buy easier,  promising herself a trip to Krispy Kreme in the very near future, and flopped on the bed wrapped in nothing but a towel. 

                                       ***

"John?" Gordon stared at the text that had popped up on all their comms less than 30 seconds ago. 

"I don't even know."

Their brother's long suffering, defeated tone just made the whole thing even funnier. 

"Think you had better get down here, bro," Virgil chuckled. "We'll be home in five."

"Yeah, that's probably wise," Scott added. 

Even EOS seemed to find the whole situation amusing, which in itself was a little bit worrying, as John rode the elevator down to the island. 

Alan and Gordon were staring at the bowl as if it might explode any minute. John spotted the empty sherry bottle in the sink and sighed. 

"Grandma got the sherry out." 

"That's not good," Scott agreed as he too entered the war zone, formerly known as the kitchen, his eyes taking in the precariously piled bowls, the flour that coated every surface, the oil patch that Alan almost slipped in and the grease splattered stove top, the pan of oil sitting abandoned. His bike helmet was on one of the stools and one of Virgil's gloves peeked out from the bottom bowl of the stack, though it was so covered in dough you could barely tell what it was. 

Virgil brought up the rear, his nose wrinkling at the slightly smokey, oily smell that hung in the air. 

"Dare you to eat one," Gordon nudged Alan. 

"Hell no! John should, it's his girlfriend that made them."

"Fiancée," John automatically corrected, poking gingerly at the contents of the bowl. "And no, I don't think so."

"Scott, you're the brave one, you like to take a risk now and then, you do it."

"Like the rescue wasn't risky enough? No way. Virg, you try, it's like modern art, appreciate it."

"Nope, I like my taste buds where they are, Gordo, you do it, it was your idea."

Gordon paled as he looked into the bowl. "All of us?" he asked hopefully. 

The boys exchanged glances and then one by one they all reached into the bowl, their competitive streak unable to resist, selecting the least offensive looking offerings. 

"On three?" Scott confirmed. "One…two…three!"

As one they all tossed their donuts into their mouths, chewing madly, their faces contorting into identical grimaces of horror and disgust. 

Alan raced to the trash can, opening his mouth to let the offending evil drop out of his mouth. 

"Urghh, it was raw inside," he shuddered. 

Gordon followed suit, spitting his out. "Mines burnt."

Virgil managed to swallow his. "Mine was all sugar which pretty much hid everything."

Scott had a dribble of jelly running down his chin to drip onto his uniform, his mouth hanging open as if he didn't dare close it again. Virgil handed him a paper towel and he grateful spat out the offensive food.

"My God, that was foul."

They all looked at John, who was still chewing his dough ball, now matter how much he worked it, it never got any smaller. In the end he too gave up and spat it into the trash. "It was like trying to eat a rubber ball."

Virgil tossed the remains into the trash to spare Kayo and Brains the same horror. "At least they tried."

Too tired to actually be bothered with real food, Scott handed round some bowls and Virgil grabbed a box of cereal and some milk.

They all ate quickly, eating in companionable silence, standing up, leaning against various cupboards and furniture, knowing if they sat down they would likely never get up again.

"Damn!" John moved suddenly, breaking the silence of the room, dumping his half eaten cereal in the sink.

"What's wrong?" Scott frowned, instantly worried.

"I just remembered the rest of her message," he was already running towards the stairs, "I've got a naked woman waiting for me."

Alan shuddered, gagging on his mouthful of cereal. "I did not need to know that."