#from how badly that affected me emotionally. I'd have been a nervous wreck for months | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cripplecryptid · 1 month ago

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Looking back to last year and seeing the progress I've made is almost surreal. I feel like i keep saying it but I'm proud of myself, in a way that I don't even know I can communicate to others just how much I've grown. I feel like it might not be obvious from the outside but I feel SO much more stable and calm and capable of regulating my emotions and my nervous system (whereas before I wasn't even AWARE of the state of my nervous system, let alone able to manage it. I just knew I felt terrible.)

Last year feels like an eternity ago. I hate the saying that you need to go through hard times to grow but... That's what happened

#I'm still amazed by the fact that I woke up last night from a dream that was so obviously my brain reminding me I needed to regulate #Bc i havent been this past week bc ive been sick w a cold #But... Then I woke up and i let my emotions out while wrapped tightly in a blanket doing butterfly hugs #Crying a bit w music on #AND BAM then I had peaceful sleep #Like jesus fucking christ it gets me emotional.#Last month some really hard shit happened w mom and I just know if this had happened in the past I'd be getting physically ill #from how badly that affected me emotionally. I'd have been a nervous wreck for months #And im still dealing w the emotions but... I'm functional (well. Except for that cold but hey whatever that doesn't count)#I just. AAAAAAA it feels surreal how clear life feels

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