#friend? foe? you just can't tell with these guys. (anonymous) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thebibliomancer · 1 month ago

Text

Essential Avengers: Avengers #326: WIND from the EAST

November, 1990

Earth's Mightiest Heroes have just fought their newest opponent. Now the Invincible Iron Man has to pick up the pieces. Good luck, Shellhead.

For some reason, the combination of the cover text and everyone being flat on their ass except one person who all hope now lies with against a fiendish foe gives this cover a retro feel.

I can't point to a specific example, it just has an older energy to it.

Anyway. Have you ever noticed that if you squint, the distribution of red versus gold on Iron Man's armor kinda sorta forms an I? With the Iron Panties and the chest piece forming the crossbars? A neat way to give him that superhero initial thing.

Last times in Avengers: Uh. There's been a lot of filler. John Byrne quit over editorial interference and there's been a couple writers since, all doing their own wheel spinning. So we get to the point where the most important last time in Avengers was Avengers Island getting sunk in Acts of Vengeance.

Remember how Michael O'Brien had spent a lot of money getting a new meeting room table for the Avengers, only to be told that Thor wanted to salvage something instead? Yeah, we open on the Avengers making a new meeting table.

It's kinda awesome.

Thor and Sersi forge the big A inlay, with Sersi heating up metal scavenged from girders of the mansion destroyed by the Masters of Evil and Thor Mjolniring the shit out of it.

The Avengers actually let Michael O'Brien help (probably to ease the sting of completely wasting his time before). O'Brien had a table top hand-carved from black basalt scavenged from the sunken Hydrobase.

So the new table is going to be a bit of the previous two bases. With the whole team chipping in to help assemble it. At least, everyone listed on the cover. Quasar has apparently dropped out between issues. Or Larry Hama doesn't want to write him.

But anyway, Thor and Sersi make the A sigil. She-Hulk gouges an A-shaped space in the basalt with her fingernails. Iron Man visits from the West Coast team just to put together all the communication and display systems for the table. And Cap supervises.

As far as throwaway downtime sequences go, I quite like this.

Since the Avengers are incorporating their history into the new table, Sersi decides to give Captain America a little gift. He had a scrapbook of Avengers adventures that was lost when Hydrobase sank. Sersi used a mysterious Eternal space-time bending process to recreate it.

That's nice of her.

While looking at a Daily Bugle photo of the Avengers fighting the Masters of Evil in issue #6, Iron Man almost says he was in that fight before doing a verbal backspace.

Iron Man: "Look at that front page photo from the 'Bugle'... the old Avengers battling the Masters of Evil! That was some fight we -- uh... I mean, you were in!" She-Hulk: "Sure, dude. That was the other guy in the tin suit, right?" Iron Man: "Absolutely. We are all well aware of the death of the original Iron Man..." She-Hulk: "... and you're just another anonymous employee of Stark Enterprises!"

I still have no idea why Tony is pretending he's not Iron Man to his Avengers friends. As a running subplot, it's not going anywhere. It's just repeating Iron Man saying that he's totally not the same guy they had three hundred adventures with and whichever Avenger he's talking to going 'riiiiiiight.'

Speaking of running subplots, there seems to be some conflicting writers on whether Jarvis suffered permanent damage to his vision after being beaten half to death by Mr Hyde.

Some writers still portray him wearing it. In this comic, Larry Hama has Jarvis call the eyepatch silly.

Anyway. Plot.

Big, buff black superhero Rage rings the doorbell of the Mansion construction site and says he's here to sign up to be an Avenger.

Jarvis tells him that one doesn't just show up and ask to be an Avenger. Factually incorrect, Jarvis. A lot of people do that. Like Hawkeye. But Jarvis also says that there's a lot of security checks and testing that one must go through.

Rage sees this as a runaround and just kinda walks in despite Jarvis.

Captain America comes to find out what the hubbub is and Rage asks the pretty legitimate question of why the Avengers don't have any African-American members.

Geez, this is a question that comes up somewhat frequently. You'd think that it would sink in or something.

In an in-universe sense, the Avengers just kinda form teams based on whoever is available. In an out-of-universe sense, it's a very legitimate criticism to lob. Why don't the Avengers have reflect the diversity of America better? Didn't the Avengers used to have a black chairwoman? What happened to her? Oh, an old white man manipulated her out of a job? That's a bad look.

Captain America responds, hey, what about Black Panther and Falcon! I have some black friends!

And Rage goes, they're not here, are they? And more specifically, he points out that Black Panther is a rich king. And that Falcon only joined the team because the government demanded they meet equal opportunity standards. (Wait, how do you know THAT?) Anyway, it sounds like Falcon is retired or something at the moment?

(Neither of them mention Monica. Who, y'know, led the team!)

Captain America: "You're beginning to tick me off, Rage... First off, nobody just walks in and gets to be an Avenger -- no matter if they're white, black, yellow, or green, for that matter!"

Again, factually incorrect. Starfox showed up from another planet and asked to join. And the only hurdle that required was for him to change his name because Reagan said so.

Captain America: "And just what can you do that qualifies you to be a super hero in the first place?" Rage: "What can I do? I've got super-human strength... I'm virtually indestructible -- And I believe in truth, justice, and the dignity of man."

He raises a good point.

And I like his look. The leather jacket look would definitely make him look unique on the line-up beside all the more superhero-y outfits. But having RAGE on the back of the jacket does meet superhero branding guidelines. Also, luchador mask. Pretty cool.

I don't love the codename Rage though. Superhero codenames that are just Noun are my least favorite.

Anyway, Rage accuses Cap of judging him by his appearance and thinking that he'd be bad for the Avengers' image.

Sersi and the rest of the Avengers wander out to see what's going on and Sersi sees Rage gesturing dramatically at Captain America.

So just as Rage is accusing Cap "I bet you think that I'll resort to violence at any second!", Sersi goes oh no, I bet that guy is going to resort to violence and full force blasts Rage with eye lasers.

Everyone remember that this is all Sersi's fault.

Despite Cap yelling at Sersi to not do this thing, Thor and She-Hulk assume that they're in a fight scene now and rush forward to escalate things further.

She-Hulk: "C'mon and pick on somebody your own size!" Rage: "Is that a challenge?"

Rage didn't start this. But he's not about to de-escalate either.

Cap manages to get everyone to simmer down.

Captain America: "There's been a terrible misunderstanding! Rage wasn't attacking me, he was trying to make a point... in fact a very valid point about perceptions!"

Sersi defends herself saying that she felt a lot of hostility in the scene before she eye lasered and Cap has to explain to the millennia old woman that conversations can be angry sometimes.

Rage decides that Actually, he doesn't want to be part of this "stupid organization anymore", which is more than valid.

Rage: "All you ever do is bash cosmic menaces off in some alternate reality or battle bad guys who have nothing better to do than destroy your headquarters! Nobody cares if super-villains fight super heroes! That don't mean diddly-squat to some kid in the inner city... I just want to use my powers to make life better for mankind, and if you don't know it, most of mankind is the little guy who never gets the benefit of your heroics!"

Then he slams the door behind him and walks off.

Hm. This is also something that comes up with the Avengers a lot. The idea that stopping alien invasions isn't Real. It's an argument that makes more sense as an out-of-universe argument than an in-universe one.

It doesn't matter to the little guy that the Avengers stopped a giant metal space man from eating the Earth? That's what we're going with? That's a dumb thing to say.

Benefit of the doubt, maybe this is more a statement of intent from Larry Hama about what kind of Avengers run he wants to do. As opposed to the cheap shot it usually is when some random person says that Avengers don't deal with Real Problems.

I do have to say, I like what Larry Hama did here by starting the issue with the Avengers being all chummy and building a table together and then assuming the worst of an outsider.

Paints the Avengers as maybe being a little clique-ish. Like maybe they need a new person to join and shake things up a little.

Anyway, Iron Man missed all of the Rage stuff but he shows up to tell them that Plot is happening.

Interspersed with the Rage conversation, there's been other stuff going on with Raymond Sikorski, National Security Council guy and liaison to the Avengers, arranging for Lt. Ramskov, hero of Chernobyl, to get a bone marrow transplant from Dr Estivez at Metropolitan General Hospital to treat his leukemia.

The man very heroically braved Chernobyl to shut down a steam pipe that was blasting radioactive vapor into the atmosphere, despite knowing his radiation suit would not be sufficient to protect him.

Problem though. Nobody told Dr Estivez so she is positively alarmed when a crane drops a man in a big containment suit with a radiation symbol on it.

She is further alarmed to hear that Lt. Ramskov has received experimental treatments at Tyuratam. Which is a space center and not a hospital.

These are legitimate concerns. But before you go thinking Dr Estivez is a total voice of reason, when she's giving Lt. Ramskov a look-over, she notices the containment suit is pumping sedatives and muscle relaxants into his bloodstream, she decides to disconnect the pump without asking why.

Granted, her objection is that she can't operate on a dude with unknown drugs in his system but... c'mon. Don't just pull things loose from a containment suit!

Without the drugs, Lt. Ramskov wakes up and starts glowing.

And then he melts through the floor.

... I feel like everyone in the room should get tested for radiation exposure.

Anyway, Sikorski decides this boondoggle should be the Avengers' problem and calls them in. And that brings us back around to Iron Man telling the rest of the team about Plot.

And as the Avengers investigate the hole in the hospital floor, it turns out I was wrong. Ramskov didn't melt through the floor. There's no sign of melting. No increase in the background radiation level. Iron Man sciences that it was quark manipulation what done it.

I don't have enough of a science brain to figure out what that means.

Ramskov's handler/escort, Ms Zhukova tells the Avengers that they better not kill Lt. Ramskov, Hero of the Soviet Union, on American soil! That'd be most bad!

Captain America has to tell her that the Avengers don't really make a habit of killing.

At least in these times. Superhero comics have changed.

Dr Estivez tells She-Hulk that the containment suit and the way Ramskov was kept drugged into a catatonic state leads her to believe that the Soviets were aware of Ramskov's abilities and were trying to keep America from finding out about them.

Ms Zhukova is shocked. Offended even.

And then there's an earthquake and the floor collapses, sending Dr Estivez, Ms Zhukova, and She-Hulk down into the pit beneath the hospital.

Well, She-Hulk is obviously fine. She fell through an entire building once, on purpose. The other two women might get hurt, though.

Iron Man and Thor leap into the pit and save the two normal women. She-Hulk declines being caught because "I could fall twice this distance and not muss my hair!"

And she falls to the lowest subbasement. Which looks like a sewer but She-Hulk calls it a conduit tunnel. She spots some footprints on the floor and goes looking for Lt Ramskov.

Thor and Iron Man want to deposit the two normal women back up in the hospital but both insist on joining the search for Ramskov. Zhukova because she is responsible for him and Dr Estivez because Ramskov is under her care and this is a medical problem!

So the two heroes land in the conduit tunnel and, like She-Hulk, start following the footprints.

Meanwhile, Ramskov. He is still hallucinating his backstory, miming turning a valve as he remembers trying to shut down the steam pipe back in Chernobyl.

But the flashback thickens! In his memory, he sees two mysterious figures in lead suits, dismantling a device attached to the reactor. Ramskov chases them because messing with the reactor could lead to a total meltdown!

... I thought Chernobyl had already melted down. But even still, it was not a situation that would benefit from being made worse.

Ramskov is still hallucinating backstory when Thor and She-Hulk find him. And since She-Hulk happens to be carrying a half-melted pipe she found, Ramskov sees the two heroes as the two lead-suited figures from his memory, who assaulted him with a crowbar and a wrench when he cornered them.

Ramskov punches She-Hulk in the head so Thor retaliates and Mjolnirs the Hero of Chernobyl in the helmet.

Meanwhile, Iron Man is walking with Ms Zhukova and Dr Estivez. The doctor repeats what she heard about Ramskov receiving treatments at the Tyuratam Space Center and now Iron Man is suspicious about this whole thing too.

He begins to ask if Ramskov is part of a special weapons program but then there's another earthquake. Iron Man tells the two women to stay put and goes to check on Thor and She-Hulk.

Where he finds them flat on their asses, as on the cover.

Ms Zhukova and Dr Estivez both refuse to listen to Iron Man, though, chasing after him.

Zhukova: "I cannot let them endanger the integrity of Ramskov's containment suit!" Dr Estivez: "He's still my patient, too!"

You could at least hang back a safe distance but no. They chase right up to where Iron Man is and where Ramskov is glowing and just making physics weep.

Iron Man: "Ramskov is emitting energy in wavelengths that don't exist on any scale! He's dismantling vector bosons and doing things to gluons that should never be done!"

That sounds bad!

Still reliving his memories, Ramskov tears open his containment suit as he tore off his radiation suit after it was ripped by the two men in the past times. Which just intensifies the energy he's putting out in the present.

I hope Thor and She-Hulk's gluons are okay.

Meanwhile, Rage is still in this book.

I figured he'd wind up joining the A-plot but it seems he's got his own subplot going on right now.

Rage walks up to a building that a drug dealer called L.D. 50 operates out of and tells some prospective customers to beat it because business is closing its doors.

Some of L.D. 50's men come out and try to shoot Rage with bullets from their guns for scaring off the customers and not gtfo-ing when they told him to.

Rage does his best Luke Cage, just walking through the gunfire.

I sorta wonder whether Rage exists because Luke Cage wasn't available to use. There's some overlap in powerset and the names rhyme. But Larry Hama is clear on what his inspirations for the character were and Luke Cage was not mentioned.

The muscle run upstairs to warn their vocabulary rich boss that some bulletproof dude is causing trouble. To his credit, L.D. 50 actually thinks of a possible way to deal with a bulletproof dude. Just throw him out a window.

But Rage didn't need to go upstairs to shut down L.D. 50. He pulled a Cage and now he's pulling a Sampson.

Rage: "This tenement was condemned by the city, but drug money bribed the inspectors and the misery of the people furnished it in luxury... It's about time it all came tumbling down!"

Then he shoves the load-bearing columns and the building starts to collapses. I can see why it was condemned.

I guess that's Rage dealing with the Real Problems tm that the Avengers don't have time for.

Next time in Avengers, the dimension of badly-drawn rocks, apparently. But actually next time, hopping back over to West Coast Avengers for some Great Lakes Avengers! Woo.

Follow @essential-avengers for more excitement noises. Like and reblog and comment and leave money for me under rocks. Any rock will do. It doesn't have to be badly-drawn.

#avengers #essential avengers #Lt Ramskov #Captain America #Iron Man #Sersi #where did you go?#She Hulk #Thor #the Vision #Edwin Jarvis #Rage #Raymond Sikorski #L.D. 50 #start of the Larry Hama run

5 notes · View notes