#freshly buttered toast drizzled with honey and dusted with chilli powder...

[mick-cooks]

Pussy Berry Cake Babies

Cake babies are entremets without mousse. What is an Entremet? An entremets is in modern French cuisine a small multi-layered mousse-based dish whose novelty comes from the variation of flavors and textures. It’s extremely hard to make which is why this is a fucked up version of it but it still tastes good.

Here’s the one I thought should’ve won Great British Bake Off in 2017:

When I first made this, I tried to do it as a tray bake bc I did not yet (1) own acetate collars or (b) know how to make mousse. Both are crucial for a mess-free entremets. Cake entremets include a layer of mousse that goes around the entire cake to preserve the layers. OR you can use acetate collars to make little individual baby cakes.

Entremets has a bunch of different parts that you make separately then put together at the end so keeping all the parts evenly shaped and chilled is important so they’re not leaking all over each other. This dessert has the following components: molasses cookie, buttercream, sponge cake, blackberry jam jello, vanilla mousse, and decoration including blackberry balsamic vinegar and edible flowers. 

Pussyberry Jello

2 cups blackberries

2 cups sugar

2 cups strong peach-ginger tea

1/3 cup lemon-infused honey

3 gelatin sheets (or use a packet of raspberry or blackberry Jell-o)

2 cups ice cold water

1 pinch of your favorite salt

What the shit is a pussyberry? Pussyberry is the flavor of all the things you like mixed together in a sweet but complex ecosystem of flavor. The first time I made this it was a big lumpy black-red mess that looked like the cake perioded everywhere and it’s a running joke between my boyfriend and me that I put period blood in his food to keep him in love with me. 

This cake’s pussyberry profile is a muddled blackberry base in raspberry jello using honeyed peach-ginger tea instead of water. To make your own pussyberry flavor, feel free to substitute your favorite flavor of tea or Jell-o or flavor infused honey. 

Crush blackberries either in a food processor or with a potato masher. Combine in a small-medium saucepan with the sugar, tea, and honey. Bring to a boil, stirring regularly. Add salt and gelatin sheets. Remove from heat while stirring for 2 minutes. Stir in ice water and divide mixture across 3 plastic tupperware containers*. This is to keep this layer from being too thick. Cover the containers and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. Overnight is better so you know it’s set.  

When you’re ready to assemble the entremets, cut circles with the cookie cutter the same size as the other components.

If you don’t wait long enough your jello will fall apart but you can still spread that on naked sponge and let it soak in. 

*If you have them, you can also use silicone molds the same size as the cookies. That’s what you should do if you’re on Great British Baking Show but I’m not and I have approximately 7,000 tupperware containers in my kitchen so I’m using what I have. Spray them with Pam or coconut oil before filling them!!!

Panna Cotta Is Just Vanilla Mousse

1 cup milk 2% or whole milk

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp bergamot extract

2 packets 1/2 oz total unflavored gelatin

1 cup + 2 Tbsp granulated sugar

16 oz sour cream

8 oz 1 cup heavy whipping cream

In a small sauce pan, combine 1 cup milk, 1 tsp vanilla, 2 packets gelatin and whisk together. Place over medium heat and continue whisking until steamy NOT BOILING then remove from heat and cool until just warm.

In a large mixing bowl, beat 1 cup heavy cream until fluffy. Use an electric mixer because I tried to do it by hand and it Did Not Work™,  In a second mixing bowl, whisk together 1 cup + 2 Tbsp sugar and 16 oz sour cream until well blended. Fold in whipped cream then while using the mixer on low speed, slowly add warm milk mixture, scraping down the bowl as needed.

Transfer to multiple GREASED tupperwares immediately because the gelatin will make it set quickly which is good. Put in the fridge for several hours while you make the other stuff. GREASE your containers or it’ll stick like this:

Cookie

2 1/2 cups flour

granulated white sugar

brown sugar

butter, softened

molasses

cinnamon, toasted

nutmeg, toasted

ginger powder, toasted

cloves, freshly ground and toasted

cardamom, shelled, freshly ground and toasted

allspice, shelled, freshly ground and toasted

Preheat oven to 350. Mix wet and dry ingredients until a thick dough is formed.

Using your hands or an ice cream scoop, roll out flattish lumps of dough. Coat in white granulated sugar before spacing evenly on the cookie sheet. These will be the base of the entremets. Dust with white sugar before putting on cookie sheet. Bake on a greased cookie sheet (or use parchment paper) for 9 minutes. 

Using parchment paper and a coffee can, flatten cookies. Use a cookie cutter to make them uniform. Pop in the freezer for 10 minutes to cool. 

Sponge

Do yourself a favor and just use a box of regular yellow cake mix. It tastes good. 

Preheat oven to 350 if you haven’t already. Bake in a large, shallow, rectangular pan. Grease the pan with a generous amount of shortening or butter then dust with flour so the cake will come out in one piece. When done, chill in the freezer for 20 minutes. Once chilled, pop the cake onto a cutting board. Use a round cookie cutter the same size as your finished cookies and cut twice as many cake circles as cookies since you will use the cake twice. 

Buttercream Frosting

butter

powdered sugar

OR just buy the stuff from the store that comes already in the piping bag. I’m not the cake police and I’m certainly not a cake narc. Do what you want. This shit’s hard so cut corners where you can. 

PUT IT ALL TOGETHER!

Combine all your chilly little circles by taping acetate collars around the cookies and layering from bottom to top:

Cookie

Buttercream

Sponge

Jello

Sponge

Panna Cotta

Decorate with a tuft of whipped cream drizzled with blackberry balsamic vinegar and butterfly pea flowers.

Okay the final one with the panna cotta on top fell apart and the one with the jelly then panna cotta then sponge ALSO fell apart so if I did this again I would use a lot more gelatin and do the panna cotta and jelly in silicone molds.