#frankenstein a new musical is Good

[perplexingly]

I took the text from Frankenstein: A New Musical

[ghoulgeists]

new tortured soul dropped

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I watched Creature Commandos and now I can't stop thinking abt the fuckin FRANKENSTEIN MUSICAL SNTNGKEMGMRNFNDMFNDNF

Yall should listen to the songs from that show btw theyre all bangers. Modern Prometheus especially.

[timetravellingkitty]

Hold the Girl is actually good, the choice of singles just wasn't the best

(No hate to Hurricanes and Phantom love them I just don't think they're exactly single material, I think Frankenstein should've been a single in the first place instead of after the album released, but either way I'm glad it is one now. I do think Your Age could've been a single? Idk)

This has been a PSA

[aro-screams-into-the-void]

So I just got done singing "These Hands" from Frankenstein on repeat and like-

I did not know Steve Blanchard was also in Newsies????

[artblocky]

I immediately am imagining Victor Frankenstein and his Creature on a walkies

auto suggest bewilders me

[wolfythewitch]

So I recently listened to Frankenstein - A New Musical, after I already read the book, so I was wondering what are your thoughts are on it as someone who hadn't read the book beforehand?

Also which song is your favorite?

For me, I kinda only really like 7 of the songs, and of those I think my favorite is "The Proposition" although "These Hands" does go really hard.

(Completely unrelated, but I want you to know I absolutely adore your JonTim art, and the last comic makes me want to chew on drywall.)

I liked all the songs haha, but I think my favorites would be Coming of the dawn, the chase, the duet from Happier day, and the part in The music of love where the creature sings with the family. The Proposition is also really good I just really like their voices hahaha

It is Really funny seeing how much more noble his reasons for creating life was in the musical vs the book. I'm sure his mother's death contributed some to his motivations but in the musical it's like front and center ish, and that's neat. I'm not too far into the book yet so I can't comment too much on the differences. I wish Walton got a song though he deserves one

[can-of-w0rmz]

The Frankenstein musical actually drives me mental, because so much of it is corny asf, but it’s JUST GOOD ENOUGH that I’m SO serious about the fact that with revisions, it could be really fucking good, I just don’t know what those revisions are and it makes me so mad 😭

Is this going to be my new obsession. “How to make the Frankenstein musical actually good”.

[solarmorrigan]

Movie Nights

For the @steddie-spooktober day 25 prompt: Frankenstein Friday Rated: T | Words: 1514 | CW: None | Tags: established relationship, outsider POV, I know the movie is over 90 years old but I didn't actually watch it myself until a month ago, so just in case there's anyone else out there who hasn't seen it, Frankenstein (1931) spoilers Divider credit: @steddiecameraroll-graphics

Part 3 of the Good Neighbors series

Gladys can appreciate new things. Books, television, music – the little joys to be found in new discoveries are what make life worth living. She isn’t as set in her ways as some people her age can be, but she does have her favorites.

She loves her mysteries and her thrillers above all else; the likes of Agatha Christie, Elizabeth Peters, and Arthur Conan Doyle line her shelves. She’s dipped into the genre of spies and intrigue, digging into Ian Fleming and John Le Carré. She’s even been known to appreciate a good horror film now and then.

Emphasis on “good.”

“So this is what passes for horror these days?” Gladys asks as a young man on the TV screen is sucked down into his bed, only to be spat back out as an absolute geyser of blood.

Eddie chuckles, glancing up from the screen. “Not your cup of tea?”

Gladys leans on the back of the couch, resting her arms there. She’d only come over to the boys’ apartment to see if they had a spare baking dish she could borrow; they certainly hadn’t invited her in to critique their choice of entertainment. But all the same–

“I just think they should try a little harder to really scare people. These days, it’s all shock and gore. All they have to do is shower people in blood and call it a day,” Gladys says. “I remember a time when they put real effort in.”

“Back in your day?” Eddie teases, grinning at her.

Gladys tsks, cuffing him upside the head – not hard, barely more than a tap, but he still falls sideways onto the couch with a gasp, clutching his head, and then rolls right off and onto the floor with a thump. Gladys rolls her eyes, but doesn’t bother to hide her smile at his antics.

“Hey, will this work for–” Steve exits the kitchen, a glass baking dish in his hands, and stops as his attention is almost immediately diverted to Eddie. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Gladys attacked me,” Eddie replies.

“Oh. Good for her,” Steve decides, holding up the dish again. “Will this work for you?”

“That would be fine,” Gladys says, accepting it as Steve passes it over.

“She also thinks my movie is trash,” Eddie says brightly as he levers himself back up onto the couch.

“I did not say it was trash,” Gladys says. “At worst, I said it was cheap.”

“Okay, but that’s not better,” Eddie says.

“I’m not a huge fan, either,” Steve leans in to stage whisper to Gladys, “but it makes him happy.”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic.” Eddie rolls his eyes, then leans back a bit so he can look up at Gladys. “What would you call a good horror movie, if not the genius of Wes Craven?”

Gladys purses her lips, thinking for a moment. “I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen the classics? Dracula, The Creature from the Black Lagoon?”

Eddie lets out a thoughtful little noise, shaking his head. “Can’t say I have.”

“Well, you ought to. You’ll see where it all began, then,” Gladys says.

“And I get the feeling you’d enjoy showing us,” Eddie says, wiggling his eyebrows up at Gladys.

“’Us’? Who’s ‘us’? When did I get roped into this?” Steve asks, and Eddie reaches out to take one of his hands.

“We’re a package deal, baby, everyone knows that,” Eddie says.

“No one around here but Gladys knows that,” Steve reminds him.

“Everyone important knows that,” Eddie amends. “Anyway, what do you say, Gladys? Feel like educating a couple of horror philistines such as ourselves?”

“Well,” Gladys says slowly, “I’m sure I could come up with something.”

This is how she ends up in her armchair the following Friday night, the boys both sitting on the loveseat, all watching as the audience is warned of the frightening nature of the upcoming film playing out on the television.

“Now, this wasn’t Universal’s first horror film, and it wasn’t even the first movie adaptation of Frankenstein,” Gladys says when the opening credits come on, “but it is a bit iconic. I thought you might get a kick out of it.”

“But is it scary?” Eddie teases.

“Well, I don’t know about scary, but maybe a bit shocking. Look at it this way:” Gladys says, “it was 1931. Graverobbing and murder might seem mundane to you, but we weren’t quite as desensitized to seeing it on the screen back then.”

Steve glances over at her. “Do you remember when this came out?”

“Oh, barely.” Gladys wiggles her hand back and forth in a so-so gesture. “I certainly didn’t go to see it in the theater, I was only six or seven at the time.”

“Still, that’s pretty cool,” Steve says, and Gladys favors him with a smile.

If they aren’t altogether horrified by the movie, the boys are at least engaged, keeping up a running commentary that has even Gladys laughing. (“He had that coming,” Steve says when the monster finally catches Frankenstein’s assistant. “Yep. Rest in pieces, Fritz,” Eddie adds.) However, as they reach the midway point, the father onscreen bidding his daughter to go play with her cat while he works, Steve shifts uneasily in his seat.

“Wait, they’re not going to do anything to the cat, are they?” he asks, cutting a worried glance at Gladys.

As if the thought hadn’t occurred to him until Steve voiced it, Eddie sits up straight in his own seat. “Gladys,” he says, pointing an accusing finger at the screen, “you’re not showing us a movie where they kill a cat, are you?”

One brow raised, Gladys regards the pair of them. “You’re worried about the cat, but not the child?”

Steve scoffs. “It’s 1931, they’re not gonna kill a kid,” he says, while Eddie nods in agreement.

Both brows raised now, Gladys only gives them a little “hm,” and turns back to the screen. With some suspicion, Eddie and Steve do the same, watching as the scene unfolds.

“Oh, shit,” Steve says, taken aback as the monster tosses the little girl into the lake.

“Damn. Guess we should’ve worried about the kid, after all,” Eddie says.

“You have to have some idea of how this movie ends,” Gladys says, shaking her head. “Did you really think they’d form an angry mob over a dead cat?”

“I would,” Eddie declares, then looks down at Steve, who at some point in the last half hour had ended up tucked into Eddie’s side (when, Gladys isn’t sure, but it’s sweet; it’s a pleasant feeling knowing how comfortable the two of them are here). “Steve, would you form an angry mob with me if someone killed our cat?”

“We don’t have a cat,” Steve says.

“That’s not the point,” Eddie insists, and Steve relents.

“I would come with you if only to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed,” he decides.

“I’ll take it,” Eddie says with a shrug.

The rest of the movie plays out on the screen – the forming of the mob, the confrontation with the monster, the burning windmill, and, at last, the peaceful conclusion.

“Wait,” Eddie says, brows furrowed as he watches the end credits play, “that’s it? That’s how it ends? A toast to the house of Frankenstein, the end?”

“Yes…” Gladys says slowly. “Why? How should it end?”

“Oh, I don’t know, how about a little restitution for the guy whose daughter got murdered?” Eddie demands, shooting up out of his seat so quickly that Steve has no time to brace himself and falls sideways onto the loveseat with a little ‘oof.’ “How about a little accountability? I mean, seriously, this is just typical; some rich, entitled asshole plays around with things he can’t control, creates a problem he refuses to solve, and the poor end up being the ones to pay the price!”

“Now you’ve got him started,” Steve mutters to Gladys as he sits himself back up.

“Is there any way to get him to stop?” Gladys asks, though she’s a little fascinated with the theatrical way Eddie throws himself around the living room as he rants.

“Uh.” Steve glances over at Eddie and back away again, and there actually seems to be a little color rising in his cheeks. “Not, um…”

“Take him home first, if you’re planning to do something like that,” Gladys says primly, only to lose the fight to her laughter when Steve looks over at her, aghast.

“I wouldn’t–!” he protests indignantly, his face going redder.

“Are you guys even listening to me?” Eddie demands, turning back to face the pair of them.

Gladys declines to answer, asking instead, “Eddie, dear, how did you like the movie?”

“Oh. Aside from the ending, it was great.” Eddie drops back onto the loveseat, reaching out absently to tug Steve back over to his side. “What else ya got?”

“Well,” Gladys says, picking through the stack of tapes she’d managed to dig up at the video store. “If you like entitled rich people, let’s see how you feel about Dracula.”

[the-gay-sailor]

@hypo-critic-al blinking at you seductively

Frankenstein a new musical headcanon

disclamer i own nothing everything belongs to the rightful owners please go and support them and be nice

sometimes i wonder if adam has markings from the rope or a phantom feeling of it or even having nightmares about it and grabing his neck

[astriiformes]

Some of this is an expansion of a thesis that I was prodding at in my speech and debate piece ten years ago in high school (which was an admittedly somewhat naïve exploration of the relationship between science fiction, optimism about the future, and scientific progress, though I stand by elements of it), but there really is something fascinating about the way Back to the Future, as a piece of science fiction media, engages with its own genre.

In the "better" timeline, George McFly, an avid sci-fi fan, goes on to become a science fiction writer. Doc Brown was inspired to become a scientist by the works of Jules Verne (and in the video game, has another Eureka moment when he sees the 1931 Frankenstein film for the first time); in the musical, he describes his time machine as "A car for the stars / Like Captain Kirk's." As a sickly girl, isolated from her peers, Clara Clayton fell in love with amateur astronomy and stories about traveling from the Earth to the Moon.

I'm just so enamored with the fact that, unlike some other media, Back to the Future loves being sci-fi so much. There's a consistent throughline in every piece of BttF media--even the newer ones--that science fiction is something good, and inspirational, that makes people feel less alone, and forges connections, and encourages people to learn and invent. And that throughline is absolutely in conversation with the fact that the 2015 segment of the second film presented a decidedly aspirational vision of the future, even though other contemporary portrayals on the new millennium were starting to skew bleaker and more cyberpunk. It would come across as a little self-aggrandizing if it didn't feel so genuine--and it also helps that some of the positive impacts shown are smaller, and more personal. George finds a fulfilling career. Doc and Clara fall in love. It's more like watching a work of fiction earnestly believe it has something to say than it is watching it be self-important.

"You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it," "Your future hasn't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one." Do you see. Do you see it.

[hapalopus]

The most absurd source material makes the best musicals. Death Note, Wicked, Frankenstein, none of those were begging to become musicals, and look how fucking good they are. That is why I propose a new musical for all the world to enjoy

[doubledeadstudio]

Hello, happy holidaysヾ(＾∇＾) I apologize for this being a long question but I've been thinking for a long time and I really have to ask if you would ask the RH crew (Mars, Abel and Fleur too if that's okay) for book and/or movie recommendations, what would they give ? If it's not a spoiler, what media inspired their depiction, if any? I want to practice English so I find new things I like, and I hope my words make meaning when I use translation. Have a happy holiday (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Happy Holidays! This is so sweet. Good luck on your language journey.

Recommendations:

Crux Hertz - The Ritual (2017) or Bones and All (2022) (movie), Siddharta by Hermann Hesse or No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai (books)

Black Lumaban - Mad Max: Fury Road (movie), The Conquest of Bread by Peter Kropotkin (book)

Vincenzo Fontana - Possession (1981) (movie), The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde or Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (book)

Florentin Blanchett - The Substance (2024) or Dead Ringers (1988) (movie), Stiff by Mary Roach (book)

Abel Valencia - American Psycho (2000) or Wolf of Wall Street (2013), no books because he's stupid but I will give a TV show... Desperate Housewives

Inspirations:

So, the thing about this is really complicated because I'm an avid art fan and I consume all sorts of media, from books to movies to tv shows and music. Generally, I get a concept then my brain starts piecing things together. (Crux is the hardest to explain because he originally started off as the child of two of me and my husband's oldest OCs... and he became a whole separate beast on his own.)

But I can give characters that really remind me of them!

Crux - Sans (Undertale), Gojo (JJK), Loki (Marvel), Shawn Spencer (Psych) (This is the worst list of all time), also Markus (Red Embrace:Hollywood), and Lee (Bones and All). Hozier and Will Wood remind me of his aesthetic.

Black - Guts (Berserk), Lio Fotia (Promare), Fenris (Dragon Age), Warren Peace (Sky High), Bigby (Wolf Among Us), Juri (Utena). For music, grandson has his vibes.

Vincenzo - Lestat (Interview with a Vampire), Orin (Baldur's Gate 3), Gilbert (Kaze to Ki no Uta), Mahito (JJK), Alois Trancy (Black Butler), Ryo Asuka (Devilman Crybaby). His storyline was largely inspired by HP Lovecraft's Dreams of Witch House. For music, near everything by Emilie Autumn and Mindless Self Indulgence.

Abel - Ashley (The Boys), Rhys (Tales from the Borderlands), Nathan (Life is Strange). (I won't lie, a huge part of him is directly inspired to parody Right Wing pundits lolol) For music, no lie, Laufey and Lana del Rey, LMAO.

Florentin - Griffith (Berserk), Viktor Frankenstein, Dr Herbert West (Re-Animator).

~~~

For Mars:

Hello, Clovis here, creator of Mars! Thank you for the interest! Mars likes classic films with lots of sexuality and violence. Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Chicago (he loves a good musical if it isn't too sugary-sweet). He'll go for the stereotypical Dad Movies too as long as he thinks they're suave enough, like James Bond and Indiana Jones. For books, he reads a lot more than you'd think and enjoys being well-read, but let's say A Song of Ice and Fire, because there's political drama and everyone's suffering. (Their misfortune and crushed innocence amuses him.)

Mars is inspired heavily from the Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood depiction of Greed. While not a direct inspiration (I've had the character for years), Sukuna from Jujutsu Kaisen is hilariously similar to him. Vintage mafia movies are where a lot of his aesthetic comes from. If you like crime thrillers, I would highly recommend the television show Fargo for bastard men that you love to hate, are scary as hell, and are darkly comedic. — Clovis @VileFable

[overthegardenwirtt]

top ten books I read this year, ranked:

10. And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (pub 1939)

Honestly this wasn't the most mind-blowing or memorable book, but it was my first Christie and my introduction to this genre. It got me out of a slump too which was great. Christie's style is so very british but I thoroughly enjoyed this as my introduction to this kind of mystery, and I found the reveal to be surprising and well done! This book definitely made me want to pick up more Agatha Christie in the future, but I'm not in any particular hurry to do so.

9. Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood (pub 1939)

This was actually my most recent read. I picked up this book knowing that it was the inspiration behind the musical (and film) Cabaret. This book feels much more of a piece of creative nonfiction/memoir than a novel, but it tells different stories in vignettes of people in Berlin in the 1930s. Between dancers and artists like Sally Bowles, queer people in Berlin, and Jewish people living through the rise of the Nazi party, these true stories were incredibly touching and really made me think about the way we talk about fascism today. The modern way in which people spoke in Weimer Germany, and the extent to which they knew what was going on in Germany at this time and still just let the Nazi takeover happen, is terrifying and all too real, and I am glad this book exists to highlight that.

8. Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin (pub 1953)

My first Baldwin of the year and third Baldwin book overall. I really enjoyed this book, as it was an exploration of a Black family in Harlem, and each family members' relationship with one another and with God. I loved the way the story was told, through flashbacks and memories of each character as they sat to pray in a church. Each story was both incredibly humanizing and devastating, and the ending was surprisingly somewhat hopeful.

7. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice (pub 1976)

I read this after the second season of the amc show aired. Honestly, this book was so much better than I was expecting it to be, given what I know about where Anne Rice takes the series in the future. In this novel, the prose is so beautiful and breathtaking. Anne Rice also delves into such deep and thought-provoking discussions about God and religion, goodness and evil and monstrousness, through her characters and their philosophies, and how they deal with their vampirism. I fully feel that this book deserves to be called the modern Frankenstein.

6. Babel by RF Kuang (pub 2022)

The youngest book on here by far. I am often weary of the trendy new books and the 'booktok' books, especially those that seem to be fulfilling some kind of aesthetic. So, my expectations going into this weren't the highest, I was expecting, as is true with most 'dark academia' books, a rip-off of The Secret History. However, I was so pleasantly surprised by this book! This book is an anti-colonialist response to The Secret History and the like, and explores how academia always serves the institutions in power, and how specifically British academia has driven, and continues to drive, imperialism. This book was also very science-fictiony, and completely deserves its Nebula award. The magic system in this book is so interesting and novel to me, and i truly think Kuang is a genius. Also, I personally loved the footnotes. It's so clear how much work and research went into this book, and it adds so much to the quality of the book.

5. Animal Farm by George Orwell (pub 1945)

This was technically a re-read, since I read Animal Farm with my mom in elementary school and didn't understand it at all. So, I finally got back around to reading this and it was great. Just so perfectly told, the story of revolt from one authoritarian regime and the decline into another, arguably worse regime. It was also incredibly heartbreaking, and made even more so by making the characters farm animals. It is truly a perfect book and I know it sounds cliche, but everyone should read it. George Orwell is well-known for a reason.

4. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (pub 1969)

This one was unexpected! I have owned Slaughterhouse-Five for years, I think it has been sitting on by bookshelf for over five years untouched. I finally got around to reading it a few months ago and it was incredible. Kurt Vonnegut has a witty and to-the-point writing style that was difficult to get used to at first, but I definitely believe it worked in this book's favor. The childlike, simple way of writing and speaking, combined with the grim topic of WWII and PTSD, really highlight the sadness of Kurt Vonnegut's situation and how young he, and Billy Pilgrim, and all these soldiers really were. I absolutely loved the sci-fi interludes as well. It worked both creatively, to provide an allegory for war and PTSD, and literally to show just how dissociative Billy Pilgrim would get after the war. This book left me feeling incredibly sad, and I know that was just the point.

3. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin (pub 1969)

And the book that beat Slaughterhouse-Five for both the Hugo and the Nebula! This book is not one that I would typically read, but I am so glad that I did. It is considered a seminal work of feminist science fiction, and tells the story of a human man named Genly who goes to a planet where all the people are genderless. It is a beautiful story of finding love and understanding with other people, and learning that there are strengths in our differences, and those differences can bring us together. This is a truly great novel, and left me feeling the way the protagonist felt, having gained a new empathy and love for human beings, no matter how different we may be.

2. Another Country by James Baldwin (pub 1962)

My fourth and final James Baldwin novel to date. I absolutely loved this book. The writing style, the beautiful vibes, and the beautiful and devastating story of a group of friends in Greenwich Village, New York was so compelling. This was one of those books that I could not just put away after I finished it. I had to read and reread the book, go over it in my mind for a while afterwards. This book explores Black masculinity and Black womanhood in America, it explores queerness, and specifically Black queerness during this time, and it explores the complicated dynamics between a multiracial group of friends in 1960s America. It feels so shockingly ahead of its time.

Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell (pub 1949)

yeah yeah, this is cliche, but it's so well-known, and so spoken about, for a good reason. This book, outside of its talk about authoritarianism, was actually just a thoroughly enjoyable and effective work of psychological horror. The way that language and history can shape our current really was so brilliantly done that it had me questioning whether O'Brien was telling the truth to Winston at times. I feel like this is a controversial opinion, but I felt that many of the characters, including Winston, Julia, Syme, and even O'Brien to a lesser extent, were humanized in a way that I felt terrible for these characters. This book had such incredible world-building that I would have been okay with reading 300 full pages of Winston's day-to-day life, that's how interested I was in this horrifying world Orwell created. However, the plot was equally as compelling! I truly felt like I was there with Winston through every step of his journey, and that made this novel feel so sickeningly horrific, and so effective.

[veryferaldistributions]

My Favorite Quotes from the “Bride of ReAnimator” Commentary (Not Included in the “Gay” Compilation):

Herbert: “Go. Home.”

Bruce: “Oh yeah, lot waiting for me there. How ‘bout that front room? Pet the dog! Find the finger eye puppet. Have some leftover spaghetti!”

Jeffrey: (about the Bride) “So she’s Meg. She’s Gloria-“

Bruce: “She’s the virgin-hooker with the twinkle toes.”

(Herbert and Francesca are barricading the lab door.)

Bruce: “Why is she helping you?”

Jeffrey: “Because she knows there are creatures out there (laughs) puking Cream of Wheat!”

Herbert: “You’re better off without her.”

Bruce: “Thanks for the advice, Dear Abby!”

(Herbert is talking about the feet of the ballet dancer.)

Bruce: “Y’know, Herbert’s parents made him take ballet for five years…”

(Over the course of the film commentary, they make several jokes about how Chapham is always seen with food.)

Herbert: (at Chapham) “What are you doing in here?”

Bruce: “Eating!”

(EDITED POST TO ADD MORE QUOTES/FIX ERRORS IN FIRST BATCH UPON REWATCH)

(Dan gets stabbed in Peru.)

Jeffrey: “Your kidney’s been lacerated, but you’ll be alright!”

Bruce: (sees his own name in the credits) “Who’s that?”

Bruce: “How did they get down there (Peru)?”

Jeffrey: (dryly) “By a plane, Bruce.”

Jeffrey: (singing to credits music) “Oh MEEEEG, my loooove, where did you goooo my deaaaar?”

(Movie cuts from Peru to Miskatonic.)

Bruce: “Oh yeah, like those two would be let back in the States!”

Bruce: “(Bride) is the ‘Frankenstein’ of the series. If the second is ‘Frankenstein,’ what’s the first?”

Jeffrey: “…Re-Animator.”

Bruce: “What is with my HAIR?”

Jeffrey: “Well, that was your choice!”

Dan: “Herbert, I have something to tell you.”

Bruce: “I’ve found a new hairdresser.”

Dr. Graves: “Who’d want to steal body parts?”

Jeffrey: “Ohhhhh, I think we knoooow.”

(Herbert is stealing Meg’s heart.)

Bruce: “Like Dan wouldn’t have enshrined that already.”

Herbert: (at Hill’s head in the morgue) “How did you get in here?”

Jeffrey: (mumbling) “…I hate this scene.”

(They both laugh at the puns anyway.)

Jeffrey: “Nice wheels, Dan.”

Bruce: “You bet. All in eight months. Got through customs. Now I’m driving a Dodge Swinger.”

Bruce: “I can’t get over my BeeGees haircut.”

Jeffrey: “Barry Gibb lives!”

(Later in the movie.)

Jeffrey: (singing) “Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin’ alive! Stayin’ alive!”

Bruce: “Of course this house has a basement.”

Jeffrey: “It was one of our requirements.”

Bruce: “One of your requirements.”

Jeffrey: “Well…”

Herbert: “Security.”

Dan: “From what?”

Herbert: …

Jeffrey: “From what?!”

Bruce: “Do I merit an answer?!”

(Herbert is showing Dan the reagent.)

Jeffrey: “DRINK IT! DRINK IT!”

Bruce: “Y’know, Herbert has this nasty habit of shoving things in Dan’s face. Iguanas, reagent, amniotic fluid-“

Jeffrey: “Dead cats.”

Dan: “I’m moving out!”

Jeffrey: “Why?”

Bruce: “Because, I like this heart patient in the hospital MUCH more than you!”

Jeffrey: (laughs) “What, you gonna move in with HER?”

Bruce: “No one will ever get rich overestimating Dan’s bad taste.”

(Herbert is trying to convince Dan to reanimate Chapham, next to the boiling pot.)

Bruce: “Sure…why not?”

Jeffrey: “Lemme have some tea first!”

(Cuts from the basement to Francesca, in Dan’s bed.)

Francesca: “Daniel?”

Bruce: “Why am I down there? WHY? What am I thinking about?”

Jeffrey: “You needed to get another prophylactic from the lab.”

Dan: “Herbert!”

Bruce: “I’d like to have a nickel for every time I’ve said ‘Herbert’ in these two movies.”

Dan: “It helps me to think of you as Meg.”

Bruce: “Betcha that makes her feel good. No wonder she dies!”

(Gloria flatlines.)

Jeffrey: “And that made her die.”

(Herbert and Dan are reanimating the Bride.)

Bruce: “Don’t try this at home.”

(Herbert puts on the gun holster.)

Bruce: “Wild, wild West. Herbie, get your gun.”

Herbert: “There is my creation!”

Jeffrey: “So put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!”

Bruce: (singing Rick Springfield) “I wish I was Herbie’s girl!”

(The Bride is trying to seduce Dan.)

Bruce: “Oh boy. I certainly wasn’t paid enough for this.”

Bride: (to Dan) “You made me?”

Herbert: “I made you!”

Jeffrey: “Yeah! Get that straight, babe!”

Dan: “You’re not Meg. Meg’s dead.”

Bruce: (flatly) “Wow. What a revelation. How edifying.”

Herbert: “Make a note of it, Dan! Tissue rejection!”

Bruce: “You write it down, ya little squirt! I’m tired of taking your notes!”

Dan: “You’re alive.”

(Falls to his knees.)

Jeffrey: “And I worship you!”

[coolfire333]

Still thinking about the mercs as parents...I'm being really indulgent and assuming they're all good with kids in their own way, in the sense that they really would love a child of their own (even if they're terrible influences or let their kids do dangerous things) but anyway here's my thoughts on each of them as dads:

Scout: not used to being responsible for someone else since he's everyone's favorite youngest child of 8. He's a bit awkward with it and scared at first but he'll catch on eventually. He's not the best influence though and definitely teaches his kid things that shouldn't be taught to young children. Family means a lot to him considering his own dad left early in his life so he'll always try to be there for his own kid

Soldier: who let this man have a child. He loves his kid with all his heart but he is a terrible influence in the sense that he doesn't understand how fragile children can be until they get older. He tries his best and likes roughhousing and playing strategic games like capture the flag so at least he's fun to be around

Pyro: surprisingly good with kids! He's got a childish whimsy that translates very well into keeping children entertained. He'll probably play pretend with his kid for hours if you let him. He'll teach his kid all about the usefulness and beauty of fire (and probably commit a ton of arson in the process so he's not exactly an ideal role model)

Demoman: very loyal to his family (despite how messed up his backstory with his parents is) so he'd do anything for his child. Not the most attentive dad in the world but he tries his best and would never do anything to hurt his kid. He is very chill and goes with the flow when it comes to parenting. He's fun at parties and would love to pass the time having a drink with his kid on the porch in the evening

Heavy: he grew up with little sisters so he loves kids and pretty much knows exactly what to do. Most responsible merc when it comes to parenting by far. Loves his family so he'd really find it special to have a kid of his own, he'd probably worry a lot but once the initial fears subside he'd be a great dad. If he has flaws it's that he'd very much baby a kid past an age where that'd be appropriate or wanted so that may seem a bit condescending (he's only doing it because he's extremely protective though)

Engineer: he doesn't entirely know what to do at first but he's very genuine about it. Loves helping his kid make things and playing music together. Would totally kill it at a parent-child science fair making all sorts of weird gadgets that do new (and probably terrible) things. He's got a pretty big heart and is generally pretty tolerant of things that other parents would be annoyed with

Medic: who let this man have a child (part 2). Besides the obvious concerns of him using his own kid as a guinea pig for all kinds of weird experiments he'd actually be an ok dad. Very proud of his child and pays very close attention to stuff like growth milestones. Also would totally kill it at a parent-child science fair. Probably helps his kid make all kinds of weird Frankenstein-esque, cobbled-together toys and is very blunt about the whole "circle of life" thing

Sniper: oh man he has no idea how to do this properly, he's just gonna try to remember how his parents raised him and give it his best shot. He's a bit distant but always makes sure to spend quality time with his kid even if he doesn't say much. Probably takes his kid out for archery lessons, just in case his talent runs in the family. He felt awkward growing up (never knew he wasn't actually Australian by birth) so he makes sure to never treat his own child as less-than

Spy: oh boy. Assuming he actually sticks around to raise a child (this time), he'd actually be a decent dad. He definitely overthinks things, is very strict and overprotective, and is kinda a "no fun allowed" type compared to the other mercs in that he wants his kid to have the most normal and safe life possible. Spends time and effort on a good education, especially regarding the finer things in life. He prays that his kid doesn't "end up like him" despite not really elaborating on what he means by that. Overall he doesn't trust himself to raise a child properly but if forced to he's actually more than capable of it

Anyway these are just my thoughts. Again this is probably not the most realistic but I'm oddly optimistic about this kind of thing, plus I think it's interesting and kinda funny tbh imagining how the mercs might be as fathers :)