#forget goody proctor

[ballpitwitch]

Keanu Reeves Me and Will (1999)

[man--eater]

wip wednesday 10/16/24--monster!Alastor AU

time for some more monster!Alastor x Daphne shit from my upcoming Halloween oneshot It Will Come Back. Yes there's monsterfucking, yes it's set in the 1640s in Puritan Massachusetts, yes the dialogue is in Early Modern English, and yes, I regret all my life choices because I'm up at 2am writing dialogue in iambic pentameter, how have you been?

here's a rough little piece of the cover art I've been slowly working on. There is still a long ways to go. trying to go for a vintage illustration style despite my inability to draw straight lines also how dare he have such pretty eyes with those long doe eyelashes tagged by @sunsetofdoom and @copaline and @michaelasworlds-blog!! I will tag: @cynical-kitten @gbearyacorn and some people I don't know but would like to see more from 🥺👉👈 @redvexillum @frostbittendoe Time to share a piece of whatever you're working on, writing or art, for Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss! Feel free to use the banner.

[youngster-monster]

i was never really on forums because young me was under the impression that forums were for Adults (my definition of adults you ask? i do not know. older teenagers???? i don’t remember) so the closest i ever got was having extensive conversations with people on google+ and youtube comment sections but GOD that really is just what’s happening here isn’t it

i’m trying to think of the most inconspicuous way to tell my sister i’m interested in playing FFXIV now because if i even Imply the reason why i know that i will NEVER live it down it will be Terrible. BUT THE ELVES!!! THE !!! THE ELVES GAME < - - - - does not know anything about final fantasy except that there are elves

it does actually look pretty fun from what little i know about it, so i’m looking forward to trying it out!! who would’ve thought that tempting me with promise of elves in ffxiv was all it takes to get me to play the game…

my siblings won’t answer my wow lore questions because, and i quote, “i literally do not know either” and it is Heartbreaking what do you MEAN you played the whole expansion start to finish and still don’t know what happened????? they’ve been playing for YEARS and i still can’t get my siblings to answer my lore questions half the time!!! i have given up…. on asking them. so now i make them listen to me rattle off the Cool Lore Facts that i spent an embarrassing amount of time reading about as penance for their lore crimes in lieu of putting them in magic jail for 10,000 years

FRIENDSHIP AND ATTENTION!!! u and me BOTH everytime i see you’ve responded to today’s behemoth ask i lose my mind abt it

NOT THE ‘HARROW ME ANYTIME’ TAG rest in pieces oh my god. partially related but i forget that friends have access to my tumblr and one time my friend mentioned a post i reblogged nd i started sweating Bullets what do you mean you saw the posts i was reblogging and by extension the book length tags i attach to them. what do you mean

my internet connection? Nonexistent. My free time? In high demand. I am literally on vacation with friends. But with god as my witness I'm GONNA be answering The Ask

the children yearn for the pen pals system

listen. I'm gonna be real with you. People don't start playing xiv for normal reasons. I think if you told your sister you're doing it for the elves she'd get it like the Heavensward expac just has that effect on people

Putting a slice of cheese under a box propped up by a stick. Pspsps come look at the elves. Don't pay attention to the emotionally devastating story beats. Look! This one is embarking on a journey of revenge where he'll have to dig two graves AND turn into the very monster he's hunting! (Shoves all the Sadness behind a curtain)

Imagine playing wow and not becoming highly Normal about the lore. Couldn't be me

Every wow playing group has the Lore Master and if you cannot find them you must Become them

The mortifying ordeal of friends notificing your blogging... I'm lucky that mine are all freaks (affectionate) so what are they gonna say huh. "I saw you at the devil's sacrament" okay goody proctor 🤨

[lathalea]

Space

I hope you’ll enjoy my newest fic for the Armitage Summer Splash event :) Oh, and by the way, there’s angst…

WEEK 3 - PROMPT 17

Trope: Illness

Quote: “I need space away from you.”

Relationships: John Proctor x Elizabeth Proctor (The Crucible)

Rating: G

You can find this fic on AO3.

Space

“I need space away from you, John,” his wife says.

Elizabeth had given birth to their youngest less than a fortnight ago. A strong little boy with a dark tuft of hair on his head. Blue eyes, just like his. When he smiles, the whole world seems to smile with the babe.

But Elizabeth does not.

She is weak. She barely eats. She barely leaves the bed.

The midwife leaves herbs for her. They will make it better, Goody Smith says.

They don’t.

He tells his Beth about how her favorite meadow looks in the morning sun. How the flowers are blooming.

She sobs into a pillow when she thinks he does not see.

He buys softly carded wool, the best in the village. For that sweater she wanted to knit.

She blindly stares into a window. Without a word.

He brings her fresh milk every morning. She used to drink it every day with a dab of honey.

Now she never brings it to her lips.

He forgets how her touch feels on his skin.

***

“I need space away from you, John,” his wife says.

Elizabeth’s words are like a slap. John knows he deserves it.

The feeling burns through him like fire since the day Elizabeth found him with Abigail behind the shed.

Since the day he broke the vow of marriage.

Because he could not control the carnal hunger that raged through his body.

He is but a man. And he has needs.

Elizabeth barely acknowledges his existence now.

He sees that emotion etched in her features.

It is not disgust nor anger. He could handle those.

It is disappointment. Flames of pain consume his soul.

***

“I need space away from you, John,” his wife says.

And then she offers him an embrace.

A morsel of food given to a starving man.

He clings to her beloved, frail body as if she was a steady rock in a stormy sea.

“Take care of our sons,” she whispers.

“Do not do this, do not confess, Elizabeth,” he protests. “I will sign that damn paper.”

“It is already done, John. You are safer this way,” she speaks as if to a child.

These are her last words to him before they part forever.

“Forgive me, wife,” he manages to mutter into her hair before the guards drag her away from him.

Their eyes meet for the last time and then he finally understands.

💚 Like it? Love it? Reblog it! 💚

📜 Searching for more stories to read and more art to look at? 📜

📜Here is the masterlist for Week 3 of the Armitage Summer Splash event. 📜

General taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed): @fizzyxcustard @shrimpsthings​ @dark-angel-is-back @sherala007 @amelia307 @anyaspidergirl-blog @jotink78 @rachel1959 @saltwater-in-the-afternoon @linasofia @legolasbadass @yourqueenunderthemountain @reblogunderthemountain @guardianofrivendell @elrawienthewhite @tschrist1 @nelleedraws @beenovel @vee-vee-writes @mcchiberry @dumbassunderthemountain @errruvande @laurfilijames @emrfangirl @s0ftd3m0n @lilith15000 @kami-chan1512 @ragsweas @enchantzz @aduialel @myselfandfantasy @thewhiteladyofrohan @elliepie1226 @middleearthpixie @i-did-not-mean-to @blairsanne @fckmini @clumsy-wonderland @wormsmith @mailinsblogofstuff @medusas-hairband @xxbyimm @guylty

[kaelio]

ok no my fav thing about the omegaverse flowchart is that they are trying to uncouple breeding from traditional gender roles but also the female version of each gender is so heavily defined around patriarchal ideas of women. like how the beta females but NOT the beta males are seen as the ideal "caretakers" of children like what is that!!! there's no reversing of gender roles here you ding-dong you're just adding extra layers onto them but it's the same shit under all that

It's an example of how people have been given an essentially bottomless vocabulary to assert any stance they want, and many people confuse being able to cobble together a coherent-sounding argument with being correct. You could use superficially forward-thinking terms to defend anything, and many people do so, forgetting that it's not actually a game--once these things affect real-world policies, they have the potential for real-world harm. It becomes more about "checkmate!" then evaluating whether the argument you constructed would have been suspect in the age of Goody Proctor.

[docholligay]

Discussion I don’t want rebloggable below the cut

Yeeeaaaahhhhhhhh like there’s a reason we say, “Among two jews, there are three opinions” and like I can speak to what my experience has been BROADLY but like, even my own opinions I find complicated and I disagree with my fucking self all the time. And there’s stuff that’s WIDELY accepted, but there’s always some Jew somewhere talking shit, I guarantee you! And also a lot of Jewish stuff doesn’t even really have “stance” as I would call it, it’s a religion of fucking nitpicky laws because Jews find a million ways to disagree with and fuck about with their own religious underpinnings. The idea of of having a black and white stance on anything is so appalling and weird to me. 

And also like, I see them say things like, “Arguing is a Jewish sport,” and super true! But they seem to forget that part of the translates not getting all “I saw Goody Proctor with the devil” over people having sometimes bad takes, I think like a solid 85% of people at my temple roll their eyes every time this one guy starts talking but like, at the end of the day we’re all in this together because we have to be in a lot of respects. I don’t know I feel like I’m not articulating this well, but there’s a nuance of Jewish conversation, even angry Jewish conversation, that’s very much lost when one is raised with a Puritanical Christian cultural base, and I don’t think many of them even know they’re doing it when they do it.

AHAHAH for example:

 Literally every exchange Verb and I have about Judaism is essentially, ‘I agree with you, and also you’re full of shit maybe” 

You are, of course, correct in this, it’s not the point* and usually I remind myself it’s not the point, but I have this very weird sense of shande fur die goyim where when I see it I’m like, “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS” and then I get pissy about it and on days like today sometimes it gets the better of me. One of the things I struggle with MOST IN LIFE is trying not to assume malice from people, it is the WORST habit, and I have to remind myself so often that people aren’t all self-aware in the same way I am, and so they might not even know that’s what attracts them, when it seems so transparent to me based on what they do and don’t say about the experience of being Jewish. Also, me, entering an endless cycle of frustration based on the behavior of others? The hell you say! 

*And at least in this case, I’m not even trying to be helpful, I’m just venting a huge frustration, where generally I am at least trying to be helpful just doing it in my very “Elisha commanding bears to maul small children” way. 

[yourdeepestfathoms]

tour howard being her usual motherly and protective self towards mary bc she feels for her and bessie getting scared shes going to be replaced. not even bc howard has done anything much, just bc she is used to people getting rid of her on small pretexts. so she tries to draw away from howard a bit, not telling her when she has bad dreams or is hurt or sick, just so that it'll hurt less when mary takes her place.

“Did you not know you mom well?”

Bessie’s head snapped up from where she was sitting alone in the dressing room when she heard the voice. Standing in the doorway with one hand resting on the frame, was that girl who always wore a bonnet and cowl- Mary Warren. There’s a small, ghost of a smile twitched on her lips, but Bessie can recognize the force of the action. Slowly, she steps inside and sits nearby the bassist.

“No, I did.” Bessie finally answered, “I just- We weren’t on good terms. She also sent me away when I was eleven. Lady Catalina was more of a mother to me than my real mum.”

“Mum,” Mary repeated softly to herself. “I forget that you say that here.”

“What...what about you?” Bessie asked shyly.

“Never knew my birth mom. I was abandoned and adopted by a different family. They gave me a home, but weren’t the parents a kid would want. But then they died.” Mary clasped her hands together, squeezing tightly, “I went into servant work and was hired by the Proctors. Worked there ‘till I died.”

“So...you never really had a parent?” Bessie’s voice is quiet and meek.

“Yeah,” Mary nodded with a soft sigh.

“I-” Bessie bit her tongue. She was already distancing herself from Howard, and really didn’t want to isolate herself further from her mother figure, but Mary probably needed Howard more. Bessie didn’t even really deserve the care.

“You’re not hanging around Goody Howard a lot anymore.” Mary spoke again, “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”

Bessie tensed. She looked up and Mary is meeting her gaze. Her eyes are so sad.

“I...never got the chance to have someone to cared about me. My mistress was the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had, but even that was a stretch. Things had to be kept professional. So when Goody Howard started to worry and care for me, I guess I got a little...wrapped up in a trance. I’m so desperate to be loved that I didn’t even realize I was taking her from you.”

“Mary-”

Mary cut Bessie off by shaking her head. She stands up and Bessie watches her.

“Don’t say anything. Being in a group has cost me a lot of things; I don’t want to risk repeating the past, no matter how slim it may be. And I don’t want to hurt you and your relationship with Goody Proctor because I’m too touch-starved to realize I’m pushing boundaries.”

“I don’t deserve Kitty’s care, though...” Bessie mumbled, “You probably-”

Mary stopped as she was walking out. As she sets a hand on the doorframe again, she paused to look back at Bessie. A sad smile was on her lips, this time not forced.

“At least you didn’t kill people.”

[pepperoniwhirlwind]

🌼~Honesty Hour~🌼 (pt. 2)

     I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do 150 questions in the honesty hour tag quite a while ago, and only did a third of it. But no longer will this be the case! Midterms are mostly over (the two biggest ones are done at least) so I can focus on more fun things, like answering these questions! Here’s my answers to questions 51-100:

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

     Yes. I have a lot of internalized shame about my body type (petite and curvy) that whenever I see someone super tall or toned I just want to be them. Even if it’s only for a day. I don’t have these wishes so much anymore though. Alex and I have been dating for 5 months (on the 21st of this month) and he loves my body type. Thanks to him, I’m learning to love myself, and learning that I don’t have to be a model to be loved~ 💕

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

     My depression. I feel like it makes me a burden on everyone, and although it’s shaped who I am, has it really changed me for the better? Maybe I’m more understanding and empathetic because of it, but it’s also caused me an inordinate amount of pain, and unnecessary pain for my loved ones.

53. Favorite make-up brand?

     I don’t wear make-up often enough for me to even have a clue.

54. Favorite store?

     What I’m buying changes which store I prefer. If it’s food, I generally hit up Fry’s. If it’s home decor (Which Alex and I needed quite a bit of in recency, given that we just moved into an apartment together a few months ago) I shop at Target. If I need to buy shampoo, face wipes, deodorant, shaving cream, etc. I typically go to Wal-Mart. Does anyone really have just 1 store that they shop at? I know if I bought non-food items at Fry’s I’d go bankrupt. 😂

55. Favorite blog?

     That’s a real tough one. I love all of my Tumblr friend’s blogs. @im-here-cause-im-not-all-there posts a lot of stuff I relate to, same for @theperksofneurodivergency, who always posts great content. Seriously, I could sit here for ages and list off all the people on Tumblr that I follow, but that would be ridiculous. Rest assured that if I follow you, it means I generally like what you post.

56. Favorite color?

     I love darker colors on the cooler end of the color spectrum; mainly green, blue & purple. I even like pastel colors occasionally. Though that’s more likely when I’m being influenced by some of my alters who like lighter colors. Like Honey, who loves pastel colors, and all things sweet really. That’s why sunflowers are her favorite flower. She appreciates all the sunny and cheerful things in life. ☀️ In our inner world, she even has a garden that she tends to regularly, and grows (you guessed it) sunflowers, among other things.

57. Favorite food?

     Oh look, another tough one. Hmm... It really depends what I’m in the mood for. But my boyfriend recently started taking me to Schlotzsky’s, which has a lot of really good sandwiches. Though, I’m always down for some Arby’s. I’m in a rut there, but I don’t care. Their roast beef classic and curly fries are to die for. 😋

58. Last thing you ate?

     Speaking of Arby’s... 😆 I ate there for dinner last night in celebration of passing my proctored exam for my math class. It was worth 75% of my grade, and I wasn’t allowed to have anything (they even confiscated my bottle of water). It took 2 hours and was suuuper stressful. So my BF rewarded me with Arby’s when I passed~ 😄 This is just one of the many reasons why I love him~ 💖

59. First thing you ate this morning?

     It’s the morning right now, and I haven’t eaten yet... 😅 Does the two sips of my boyfriend’s coffee count?... No?... Okay. *sighs* I should go eat now actually, so I can take my morning meds. Thanks for reminding me, Tumblr ask!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

     I got first place in a race once... then immediately quit the track team. 😂 Running just wasn’t for me. I’ve won blue ribbons for art (culinary and painting mostly) before at the 4-H Fair, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a proper competition that I won. I recently participated in a Drag Show at my college, and even signed my performance (I know ASL, and I hoped it would make me stand out a bit against the competition), but I didn’t win. It was actually a really close call between all the participants, and the host/judge couldn’t decide who the audience cheered louder for, so the lady who’d set up this event had to come up and make the decision. I was one of the first people she decided should leave the stage. So, needless to say, I felt a little embarrassed and defeated afterwards.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

     I never even had detention 😂 ; I was a goody two-shoes growing up. I was always the teacher’s pet, so no, I was never suspended or expelled.

62. Been arrested? For what?

     ⬆️ See the point I made above for your answer. ⬆️ I’d have to cease being a goody two-shoes first before being arrested is even a possibility, so no, my record is squeaky clean... we won’t speak of the songs I’ve illegally downloaded from YouTube though. >-> <-< Don’t tell the po-po about this, or else I’ll be forced to participate in court-ordered rehab for my music addiction. 😂

63. Ever been in love?

     Yes~ 💘 I’m in love right now, with the most supportive and understanding man I’ve ever known~ I shouldn’t have to say who at this point, but I will. It’s my BF, Alex~ ❤️

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss.

     Well, this was back when I lived in Indiana. I had a core group of friends, that all happened to be on the LGBT+ spectrum, so we were practically dripping in rainbow-y goodness. 🌈 Mich, essentially the leader of the group, is trans. While Levi is gay and Laci (she thought she was a lesbian originally, and identified as such for the time that I knew her; I don’t really have contact with any of them anymore) is bi. That just leaves Sasha, who is also bi, and she was my first kiss. Mich, Sasha, I, and others (Levi and Laci weren’t there though) all decided to play spin-the-bottle. Sasha was the first person I landed on, and I still remember her kiss. It was soft, like a cloud, and tasted like strawberries. 🍓 It was a wonderful first kiss, but I definitely prefer kissing Alex the most~ 😍

65. Are you hungry right now?

     Well, considering I just ate a mini donut with my pills... yes, yes I am. 😂 ...Don’t you judge me either! Alex and I bought a bunch of mini donuts for our last D&D gaming sesh at Tyler’s, and there was still a bunch left over, so someone has to eat them, and I didn’t feel like making a proper breakfast. Plus, the one I ate is strawberry flavored, so how could I not eat it? If anyone turns down a strawberry donut, suspect immediately that they are a lizard-person.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

     What a savage question. No, I do not. I like all of my friends, equally, whether they’re online or offline. I only care if my friends are good people or not; and if they care and respect me as much as I do them. Whether they live nearby or not is of little importance to me. I base my friendships off of their character, their morals; not their place of residence.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

     Well, I don’t have a Twitter, and only really check my Facebook once in a blue moon. So... neither?... What, is that not an option? Fine... I choose Facebook... I guess.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

     Tumblr.

69. Are you watching TV right now?

     No, I’m currently typing this... I am listening to music though, of course. 😆

70. Names of your best friends?

     Well, Tyler’s the only friend I have IRL that knows me, like, truly knows me. By that, I means she knows about my DID, among other diagnoses, as we’ve talked at length about both of our diagnoses before. Since she has Bipolar disorder, she gets what it’s like to have a “scary” mental illness; the ones that get characterized by media to always be violent and unhinged. She didn’t judge me or fear me, she only asked questions and tried to learn as much about my system as she could, which tells us that she truly cares and understands. I’ve told other people before, but they’re either no longer a part of my life, or were creeped out by my DID, and are choosing to forget that I ever told them in the first place. My Tumblr friends also know about my DID, given that I post about it and mention it in my blog bio, but there’s a certain level of anonymity on the internet that allows for me to be more open about it. Telling someone IRL? Now that’s terrifying. It takes a lot of trust, and given that I have had some bad reactions in the past, it makes it even more daunting.

71. Craving something? What?

     Honestly? A vacuum. And a mop, while I’m at it. I’ve been cleaning for most of the morning, and those are the only cleaning supplies that I need and don’t have. I keep trying to talk Alex into buying them, but he’s not as bothered by dirty floors as I am. He even walks around barefoot on these filthy floors! IDK how! Even if I’m wearing socks it bothers me. I don’t like stepping on anything, and the only way I don’t feel what’s on the ground is if I’m wearing shoes. So... I basically never take off my shoes except for when I’m in bed. 😂

72. What color are your towels?

     What a weird question. 😆 Before I moved in with Alex, I lived with my parents, and we didn’t have a standard color of towel. We had an assortment of colors from multiple old sets of towels, a lot of them raggedy, some of them bleached, most of them ancient. Then when I started living with Alex, we still have some towels of differing colors, but most of them are blue and soft~ ✨ The sheets and pillow cases are blue too, though a lighter shade.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

     Not anymore. I used to when I was younger though. When I was a kid my stuffed animals felt like my children. I would rotate which ones got to sleep with me each night, hug and kiss them all goodnight then tuck them in. If one of them fell out of my arms in the middle of the night, it would wake me up immediately. Not even a slow, groggy wake-up. It was like my motherly instinct was an alarm clock, so I would wake up instantly and be wide awake, frantically searching for the stuffed animal that fell out of my arms. I would then pick them up, dust them off and apologize, then snuggle them and drift off back to sleep. When I was a teenager, I mostly cuddled them when I was lonely and needed some companionship to fall asleep. Now that I snuggle and sleep with my boyfriend each night, I no longer sleep with my stuffed animals, but I still love them and keep them as decoration for my bed at my parent’s house, since I never really sleep there anymore. I nap there occasionally, but that’s about it.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

     Uhhh... I’ve never actually counted, but at least a tub full.

75. Favorite animal?

     Elephants and foxes, equally~ 💖

76. What color is your underwear?

     I’m wearing black panties at the moment. It’s satiny with lace, so it’s cute and comfy; the best of both worlds. 😉

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

     Definitely chocolate, 🍫 provided it’s not too rich.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

     I’m obsessed with matcha green tea ice cream right now, OMG, it’s sooo good~ 😋 Same goes for the matcha green tea frappuccino at Starbucks. It’s the only drink there that I actually get. I’ve tried other beverages they have, and generally don’t like them, but the matcha green tea frap is too delicious for it’s own good.

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

     I’m actually wearing a really comfy dress right now, that I slept in as a nightgown last night. 😆 It’s gray and has a lace band on each sleeve.

80. What color pants?

     ⬆️ Once again, reference my previous entry. ⬆️ I am pantless, given that I’m sporting a dress at the moment.

81. Favorite TV show?

     Oh geez... another hard one. Let’s see... I’ll just put the name of the show I’m watching the most right now. That would have to be “Crazy Ex Girlfriend” on Netflix. Before that I watched the newest seasons of “BoJack Horseman” as well as “Orange Is the New Black”, but I’ve already finished those.

82. Favorite movie?

     Honestly, I’ve been really obsessed with “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” recently. When I re-watched it as an adult, I noticed how much more serious that movie is compared to Disney’s other films. They cover some pretty dark subject matter, and do it well... *sighs* if only they’d nixed the addition of the gargoyles. They ruin every emotional or tense scene that they’re placed in, and make the lighter scenes just plain cringey. I know they wanted to make it suitable for kids, but I think Disney underestimates what kids can handle, especially considering they reference the darker scenes subtly enough so as to keep the movie’s G rating intact. Like what about the goat, Djali, that belongs to Esmeralda? The goat could have been the comic relief, but instead they brought in the talking gargoyles. They couldn’t even do something cool with the gargoyles, like make them a part of Quasi’s imagination. He’s been alone in a bell tower for his entire life, so it would make sense that he would begin talking to the statues and giving them personalities... but no... it’s shown at the end that the gargoyles can interact with and impact the real world, making them a part of it as well.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

     Well, considering I’ve only ever seen the first one, and didn’t even know there was a second one, I’m gonna have to go with “Mean Girls”.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

     I’ve never seen “21 Jump Street”, so once again, “Mean Girls” takes the cake.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?

     Oh, that’s hard, especially when they’re all such fun characters. Janis is pretty cool, so she’s up there, but Karen is probably my favorite. She’s such a simple, naive soul, you can’t help but love her.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

     Dory, hands down. But I wanna give a special shout-out to Bubbles, the character from the fish tank that, (you guessed it) is obsessed with bubbles. 😆 He cracks me up every time.

87. First person you talked to today?

     Alex. Considering we both wake up in the same bed, it would be nearly impossible for him not to be the one I talk to first thing in the morning.

88. Last person you talked to today?

     Once again, Alex, given that it’s still early in the day and I haven’t seen anybody else yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

     All of my abusers. Every. Single. One. They made me feel small, worthless, and unloved. So I hope each one of them feels that way for the rest of their miserable existences.

90. Name a person you love?

     My boyfriend, Alex~ He’s my world, my hopes and dreams, and everything I aspire to be~ 💖

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

     No. I want to punch all of my abusers in the balls. With a baseball bat. Repeatedly, until they’re infertile.

92. In a fight with someone?

     No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

     Only one. I want to buy more, but that requires that I have money, which I don’t.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

     I have my Nirvana sweatshirt, my “Nightmare Before Christmas” sweatshirt, and two hoodies with my college logo on them. One’s gray and the other is red.

95. Last movie you watched?

     “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.

96. Favorite actress?

     I have no idea. So I’m gonna go find a list of the top 100 actresses and go from there. *some time passes* So, I found an actress I actually know, and that’s Krysten Ritter, who played Jessica Jones on Netflix’s hit series named (you guessed it again! Wow, you’re really good at this.) “Jessica Jones”.

97. Favorite actor?

     That’s a tie between Robin Williams (I really miss him... He was such a vibrant and energetic actor, who also knew how to portray more serious, and heart-felt scenes. He was a skilled actor and a good man. May he rest in peace.) and Tom Hanks. I like quite a few films starring those actors.

98. Do you tan a lot?

     Never.

99. Have any pets?

     No... 😭 RIP Batman and Robin (my previous pet hermit crabs).

100. How are you feeling?

     Productive! I practically cleaned the whole apartment in like 2 hours this morning, and just finished another third of this ask! I’m on a roll, and intend to do homework in a minute. For now though, I’d like to thank everyone who read through to the end, as well as thank @lovelynhiddenkittens for sending the ask in the first place! Sorry it’s taking so much time to finish it, but I’m over halfway done now! Whoo~! 🎉 *sets off a confetti popper and basks in the confetti shower* Anyways, take care everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day (or night, wherever you are, just have a wonderful time!) See ya ‘round the bend~! 👋

*grabs a broom and begins sweeping up the confetti, muttering to myself* Why do I do this? Every time, I know I’m gonna have to clean it, but I do it anyway...

[bai-xue]

You know, it's funny... You rarely ever see antis going after the *really* gross ships like, IDK, Joker X Barbara Gordon (take my word for it, this exists and it's every bit as awful as you'd imagine). It's always stuff with gray area, if not outright friend X friend ships that just aren't ~Progressive~ enough.

Yeah I think I’ve actually seen Joker x Barbara stuff, and yeah, it’s horrific, but at the same time I can understand the appeal. 

But yeah it generally tends to be really grey area stuff that antis get the most upset about. I think the ultra dark shit like Joker/Barb or even the stuff I write just isn’t interesting enough to them because it falls into a moral binary that they can understand. What they don’t understand is why people like the super dark shit, and they generally use it as “proof” for why someone is a bad person, yet you rarely see them dedicating entire blogs to it. I saw this personally with the anti backlash against my fic Such Things, which deals with Immortan Joe and sex slavery. The fact that I write about fictional sex slavery from the perspective of someone who’s been groomed into it is abhorrent to them, and this goes double for the fact that I dared to include mixed-race characters in my story.

And yet…while they use stuff like this to “prove” that I’m somehow into interracial slavery AU rape porn (somehow a fic about canonical sex slavery is also a slavery AU, idk), they don’t actually pay any attention to the Immortan Joe fandom as a whole…or even to some of the truly problematic ships we have. There was a brief spark of pearl-clutching and harassment right after they found out we exist (sometime in June 2015), and a few little blips since then, but mostly they seem to ignore us or forget about us. So as disgusting and problematic as we are, they just bypass us entirely to focus on, say, fans of Kylo Ren, who is as pure as the driven snow compared to ol’ Joe Moore. I’ve gotten far more hate for liking Kylo Ren than I have for liking Joe. Hell, even the brief campaign of harassment over Such Things (again, a Fury Road fic), was kicked off because I started shipping reylo, not because I’m a Joe fan. It’s ridiculous.

It comes right back to Puritanism in a Gay Hat. Those on the edge, in danger of falling into sin grey morality, receive most of the ire, while those who have already rejected the one true faith squeaky-clean coffee shop AUs are written off entirely as already lost (or, at most, we’re the demons leading all you currently-straying sheep closer to the gates of hell, and Goody Proctor’s darkfic is proof that she signed a contract with the devil, doncha know).

[kaykaydirectorsnotebook-blog]

The Characters In This Scene

Mary Warren

Mary Warren is a young seventeen year old girl, with brown hair. She is one of the girls that testify against witches of the town. She is quite naive, as she will listen to what Abigail tells her to do, without questioning. She convinces herself, at first, that there truly were spirits and the woman accused were witches. As a result, she thinks that the girls are doing god’s work by identifying the devil’s servants.  Mary Warren sees these trials as new found entertainment, she is excited to go to court, delighted that she is needed for the trials and proud to be one of the court officials. She is scared of Abigail and her threats, therefore does not disobey her. In addition, she is scared about people finding out about what happened in the forest with the girls. Most of all, she is scared of being accused of witchcraft.

Quote That speaks It all

“To Proctor: I only hope you’ll not be so sarcastical no more. Four judges and the King’s deputy sat to dinner with us but an hour ago. I - I would have you speak civilly to me, from this out.” (p 60)

Mary is standing up to Proctor as her rank in society, she believes, is more important and significant now that she is considered an ‘official of the court’. Mary and the girls were truly convinced- by Abigail mostly- that they are doing god’s work and therefore are justified to act bolder than usual.

Costumes

As Mary warren is a servant, she should wear a simple white apron. Under it, she wears a black long sleeved shirt that covers her arms and a long skirt ankle- length so that it covers her legs. With on her head a white cloth hat that covers most of her hair.

Delivery of lines

In this act, Mary Warren should have a newly confident voice, loud, defiant, and strong intonation, as in this scene she is trying to prove herself to Proctor. She should gesture a lot (eg.., stomp her foot), as she is passionate during the argument with Proctor. Her voice should be high as we still want to underline that she is still a little girl who is not very aware of her actions and we want her to sound whiny.

John Proctor

Proctor is a farmer in his middle thirties. He was  of powerful of body, even-tempered, and not easily led. He has brown medium length hair. At first he is introduced as the adulterous lover to Abigail. He is well respected and is said to be unforgiving to hypocrites, this is ironic because he criticizes others’ integrity even though he has himself sinned. Throughout the play, Proctor is concerned with keeping up his reputation. He is scared that people will find out about his sin, therefore when Elizabeth asks him to go to talk to Abigail, it angers him. On the other hand, proctor feels guilty about being betraying his wife and wishes to bring his marriage back to life, that is why he lies about being alone with Elizabeth. John is not against religion, but he does not agree with Paris and what he preaches.

Quote That speaks It all

“Proctor: Because it speaks deceit, and I am honest! But I’ll plead no more! I see now your spirit twists around the single error of my life, and I will never tear it free!” (p 61)

Proctor is an ‘honest’ man, yet he faulted Elizabeth and he feels guilty as it undermines his decency. He is trying to fix his marriage, but he feels like his mistake will always haunt him, as it now threatens Elizabeth’s life as well.

Costumes

Because Proctor is a farmer, his clothes should be simple, no expensive clothing, no extravagant structure or expensive fabric. He should wear long pants and high knees boots to be able to go in the dirt and mud. A long sleeved fleece shirt, nothing very heavy because he stays out in the sun laboring the land a lot and a jacket over them. He wears a hat to cover his head from the sun.

Delivery of lines

When talking to Marry Warren he should be tough and angry as he is her superior and she is disobeying him. He is unaware of the witch trials’ advancement, therefore he should be surprised when told how many and which women are accused. When talking to Elizabeth, he should feel guilty at first, then so as to gain back respect, he should be mad and loud when talking having the argument with her. When Hale enters, he should feel embarrassed at first, then as he is a very proud man indignant at the questioning of his religion. He should always portray a facade of confidence in what he believes in.  

Elizabeth Proctor

Elizabeth, also called Goody Proctor is the mother of two children and the wife of farmer John Proctor. She is introduced for the first time in Act 2. She is known as a very honest and irreproachable woman, this makes John guiltier about his affair, as he feels very judged by her. Her husband 8 months back took a lover, their old servant, Abigail. Since then, their marriage has been full of tension and she finds it hard to trust him, but is willing to always be loyal to him. She has not totally forgotten although she loves him In this Act, she has an argument with her husband after being informed by Mary Warren that her name came up in court for Witchcraft. She knows then that Abigail surely mentioned it and requests of her husband to appeal to his ex lover. She feels undermined by Proctor as though he does not understand that she is “the only wife he has” and resents what he did. She fears Abigail’s determination to take her down and replace her and worries about the growing power of the girls at court.

Quote that speaks it all

“Spoke or silent, a promise is surely made. And she may dote on it now - I am sure she does - and thinks to kill me, then to take my place. “ (p 62)

Elizabeth worries Abigail wishes to take her place. She is sure that her husband has not made it clear to Abigail that he does not care for her and that unless he does what she urges him to do, break this promise made in bed, Abigail has reason to hope for a future with John.

Costumes

As this takes place in 1692 Salem in a puritan village, Elizabeth conforms to the acceptable clothing of that time, which is very conservative. Like Proctor, she does not wear anything expensive or sophisticated, as even though she tries to be feminine, she is still a farmer’s wife. She wears a coif, a white cloth worn as a hat on her head, even at home. She should wear a high neck white shirt, to symbolize how pure she is alike a white dove. Over her shirt she wears a waistcoat alike the shirt it should be beige or white. Then she wears a pleated skirt that is ankle length to cover as much skin as possible.

Delivery of Lines

In the beginning of Act 2, Elizabeth speaks with a lot of emotion as she is very passionate and what she says matters to her. It is supposed to be to her like a secret that has finally come out; she finally voices her unhappiness and reproaches John. Her voice is firm, she is bold, standing up for what she has the right to think. On the other hand, when her husband shouts back she hesitates, as she does not want to disrespect him, but she wants to speak up. She is supposed to be emotional. She has learned that her husband’s ex lover is trying to get her hanged and she blames him for it, making her tone angry. Then, when Mr Hale arrives, she barely speaks, instantly lowers her voice, and tries her best to mask the fact that she is embarrassed that he heard parts of the argument. She offers him something to drink like a respectable hostess and wife, and only speaks again when Proctor forgets his last commandment. To that, she reminds him, masking her reprimanding tone in front of Hale.

Reverend Hale 

Reverend Hale is a pastor, an intellectual, expert of the supernatural, devil’s work, and witchcraft. Initially, Reverend Hale is called to Salem from Beverly to examine the unnatural events occurring in the town, notably Betty’s illness; later he stays and is bewildered by the advancement of the witch trials. He is a sincere man, who, at first, truly believes that witchcraft is very prominent in Salem and trusts his abilities to help. Then, after Rebecca Nurse is accused and he talks to the proctors, he starts to doubt of the intentions behind each of the accusations. Although he feels like a stranger in Salem, he does not hesitate to get involved and question the judges and the girls’ claims. He believes in justice and tries to get to the bottom of the accusations knocking from door to door to verify the claims. 

Quote that speaks all

“I am a stranger here, as you know. And in my ignorance I find it hard to draw a clear opinion of them that come accused before the court. And so this afternoon, and now tonight, I go from house to house - I come now from Rebecca Nurse’s house” (p 64)

Reverend Hale is investigating the accusations, not on authority of the court, but for his own inquiry. He takes a step back to be able to make an accurate and clear opinion of wether they are guilty or innocent.

Costume

Reverend Hale wears a hat made of felt with a creased crown to protect from all weather. He wears a clerical collar, a black shirt and a doublet jacket over it. He wears white cuffs and black shorts that end at his knees with stockings under them. Alike women, men hide most of their skin. He wears the typical fitted pastor clothing. Pastors wear sober clothing, so he wears mostly an all black outfit, signifying sobriety, aside from the white cuffs and the white collar.

Delivery of Lines

In this scene, Reverend Hale comes to question the Proctors on their religion and faith. His tone is somewhat suspicious and his questions interpreted as accusing. His voice is calm and collected. He is merely trying to gather information on the accusations and fairly investigate the trials’ legitimacy. When talking about god and his mission his voice is confident as he is very confident in his beliefs and very religious.

[velteris]

I've been following you for a really long time and this is the first time I've ever wanted to ask you a question. But why would you go camping alone without any light? That's just a really dumb thing to do...

(in ref to my tags here im pretty sure)

gather round, dear followers, for a series of anecdotes from Hell Camp, the source of my best and worst stories

when i was twelve my school sent all its year nine students class by class to a five-week camp, which will henceforth be called Hell Camp. here is the setup:

a four-hour drive out of the city into the outback, where there is a farm owned by the school for the express purpose of hosting Hell Camp

28 girls and 28 boys, each in their own dorm houses

no phones. no computers, no ipods, no TV. no internet (within our reach). we cooked our own food on fire stoves and wrote letters by hand to our parents and friends

no lollies, no soft drinks or juice, all our eggs and milk came off the farm

wake up at 5:30am every day to go for a 3km run and then chores on the farm, from milking the cows to chopping our firewood

Bible study every night because this was a Christian private school

“why???” u may ask. “why did your school subject tweens to a month of this???” supposedly to build character and teach u life skills but tbh idk how knowing how to crack a bullwhip is supposed to help me in life

but it wasnt just five weeks straight of same ol farm life there were other activities they had us do!! camp-like activities!! for example:

Pre-Survival

three days to prepare us because we were innocent younglings who barely knew how to start a fire

basically a campsite in the middle of fuckass nowhere? we rode horses there while the counselors (the Hell Camp resident teachers, but ones that deadlift 50kgs and kill spiders without batting an eye) drove with our bags and stuff and laughed as we got inevitably lost

have u ever used a dunny u have to empty urself

it is so gross. there is a field marked out explicitly for burying everyone’s shit, and u have to take turns. so gross. 

there was a shower which was a metal shed with a bucket of water hung up, which u heated over the fire before u went in and prayed it wasn’t too hot

this was like winter time and we slept in swags on the ground and when we woke up there was frost on our swags

i made an iron horseshoe??? the temptation to touch red hot metal is ridiculous tbh it looks so pretty

someone did touch theirs. it was not me. i heard them yell from across the field where i was helping feed horses.

in the middle of the second night the counselors took us to a giant rock in the middle of the bush where u could see the stars and it was amazing you could see the milky way and everything… but the thing was we had to spend the previous 20 minutes in the dark to get our eyes used to it so they had us hold onto each other’s sleeves and walk blindly into this rugged, rock-covered trail through pitch blackness, praying no one in front is going the wrong way

and then. the counselors played a trick on us by getting one of the kids to stay back in the forest and waited to see how long we’d notice. we didn’t notice until it was time to go back im so sorry Kimmy

Survival

ok this the real shit you went with the same group you were with in pre-survival and the counselors drove you out into the depths of the outback and dropped you and your group off with some tools, food, and tarpauline

and then u just lived out there for three days.

we couldn’t start a fire our first night because it’d been raining before??? our dinner was supposed to be rice, potatoes and carrots, and the carrots were the only edible thing bc u cant eat raw rice and raw potatoes.. u just cant.

there were wild dogs around. we never saw them, but we heard them awoo-ing a lot. so whenever someone split off from the main camp to go pee like two other girls would accompany them as an honor guard, singing Kumbaya to keep the hounds away

sometimes people would go alone and then there would be a Sound in the bush and then you’d just hear them screaming “MAMA’S MAKING KAN TONG”

on our last day the counselors set up targets with drawings of kangaroos on them, handed us a bow and 20 arrows, and said “if u can shoot the kangaroo we’ll give u sausages for your last meal”

never in my life will i ever see such ferocity from 12- to 13-year-old hungry girls again

when it was another group’s turn to be on survival, my group was on normal farm duty, and we were out clearing bush scrub when we heard the survival group girls talking and we realised we’d gotten too close.

“hello?? hello??? is anyone out there?” “oh my god someone’s out there oh my god we’re gonna die” “COME OUT, WE HAVE WEAPONS”

THIS WAS A LIE. WE KNEW DAMN WELL THEY HAD THE SAME THINGS AS US AND THOSE THINGS WERE TWO SHOVELS AND A HEAVY DUTY CLIPPER.

and our fucking counselor just went “shhh!!” to us and herded us back like he just straight up left those nine girls thinking there were bush serial killers out for them

also apparently a tree fell on someone’s head at some point in their survival

at night we slept in a row like snuggling each other cause it was So Fracking Cold and lemme tell u it’s an experience being spooned by the girl who used to sigh whenever you raised your hand in class

Four Day Hike

what it says on the label

55km in four days, carrying all your food, sleeping bags, tents, clothes, toilet paper etc. and minimum 2L of water bottles you could refill at big barrels set out at designated stop points

this is, without a doubt, the single worst experience of my life

nothing good happens when u hand a group of kids a map and a compass and tell them “we’ll look for you if you’re not at the campsite by sundown but apart from that you’re on your own”

i was with an athletic group of kids?? they were Walking So Fast and i was just staggering along with my unfit friend like this is how i die on a godforsaken hill on our way to god knows where

actually i had an asthma attack and they left me behind for a bit fun times

the hike went through some willing farmers’ land and one boy who stupidly climbed a fence got chased by a bull

they sent us off group by group so we’d all make our own way, so whenever u bumped into another group you were like. okay one of us was going the wrong way and it better fucking well be you

there weren’t any showers or anything so we basically all wore the same clothes for four disgustingly sweaty days of hiking

someone used an anthill as a toilet bc it had a nice big hole to drop ur toilet paper down

the ants did not appreciate this

when you run out of toilet paper and it’s only 11am

Solo

this was it. the culmination of the camp. the ultimate character building experience.

which was just 24 hours of alternating boredom and sudden visceral terror now that i think about it

u got dropped off (again in the middle of nowhere see a theme yet) with tarp, a lil trowel, and a clipper, and u just set up camp and did whatever u wanted for 24 hours

they let u bring a bible.

i got really into Leviticus and Deutoronomy before it went dark

listen it was really really boring ok

AND HERE IT IS THE BIT WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE LIGHT WHILE CAMPING ALONE

listen when the sun goes down at 5pm, u go down too. there’s nothing else u can do?? u just gotta sleep???

or, like me, lie awake in mortal terror listening to the bush Come Alive

when the wallaby goes THUMP-THUMP-THUMP and you’re like holy shit this is it the abominable loch ness chupycabra has manifested in the australian outback and it’s going to eat me alive jesus christ protect me with the power of this bible

hence the sheer relief when the sun finally comes out and u can walk around without living in fear of accidentally walking face first into a spiderweb or scratchy lantana bushes

also a mini survey went around afterwards and i’m pretty sure a solid 60% of the girls took a shit on solo like… at long last u can take as long in the toilet as u want… without the other 27 girls banging on the door……

other miscellaneous stories that dont fit anywhere else:

one of the boys went missing?? he wandered off and couldn’t remember anything when they found him in the middle of the bush. cryptic

there was this one homesick girl who was REALLY homesick like she cried every day of the five weeks. by the end of the camp she’d approached everyone to talk about her Feelings and you’d just kind of groan softly when u saw her coming towards your bunk bc u knew u were in for a hopeless comforting session

on sundays sometimes we went to the nearby town’s elderly home to talk to the old folks and some of us could play music so we did little performances for them which was rly sweet!

there were lambs on the farm!! we named them Uggboot and i think Fleece Jacket or smth like that

there were cows too!! meat cows!! they were Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

my first time on cow milking duty i tried to herd the bull towards the milking pens bc i did not realise he was not a cow. i quickly realised when he took very fast steps towards me and i Got The Dodge Out Of There

we spit roasted an entire pig for the final feast before we left and i will never forget it. the first time in my life i had crackling. half the group was weak in the knees cause we saw the pig get slaughtered and the other half was just “sweet, more for me”

whenever the new fruit delivery came in and the hunger games commenced in the kitchen… tween girls are actually ravenous wolves u heard it here first folks

when u going to the bathroom in the bush and u feel something touch your butt… is it a stray hair? is it a piece of grass? is it a bug??? who knows but nothing makes your bowels loosen faster

the unholy horror of finding spiders wherever you least expect it

ANTS IN THE SUGAR

“I saw Goody Proctor with the devil leaving the cupboard open for the ants!!!”

honestly so many things happened at Hell Camp that i can’t remember most of them anymore and it Rankles Me bc i know there were so many wild stories but here you go. some of the wildest ones.

11/10 went back to Hell Camp voluntarily once, would go back again again.

[tirsden]

Ashe is burning bridges again

Want to take out the Brotherhood of Steel the easy way on survival mode? Well... having four pieces of chameleon armor may be required, sooo not-so-easy. Spoilers beyond the cut.

With the chameleon armor, it all comes down to positioning. The best place to take on the command deck (or run to once someone has died) is on the highest floor and up the side of the hull, as shown above. While Ashe wanted to wipe out the BoS as much as possible a little bit earlier than he actually had to, Maxson needed to stay alive to drop all his goodies at the endgame battle later. So there’s Maxson, hiding on the left. Everyone else on the bridge, dead? Check.

The other tough spot is the main ship area, which is made hella easier by hiding behind the bed in Proctor Quinlan’s room, as per the second screenshot. The soon-to-be-dead can’t get close enough to you for [CAUTION] to be come [DANGER]. Pew-pew, 20+ people dead in the room and the hallway beyond.

Don’t forget to steal the fusion core out of one of the owned sets of power armor in the power armor bay before doing this (or bring your own suit and hide it in Danse’s room or that little snipe-deck place where nobody ever is). That way you can take the power armor once everything you want is dead/looted, and jump off the blimp to safety. And more angry BOS. XD

Meanwhile, a few hours later... just a normal day at Nordhagen Beach: