#for what would make the most sense when it comes to these years where gashu started to fear kai's survival /because/ of his inability to

[datastate]

oh, also. still exhausted, but i’ll try to comb through my small issues w kai’s ministory real quick:

- i feel as if sei’s existence wasn’t implied at all in the main yttd game, and i do wish there had been some hint that rio was indeed based upon a real person rather than an experiment in his own right born from [sentiment for kai, which was the only basis we were previously given]. however, that said, i do not necessarily have issue with sei’s existence - although i wish it ended differently.

- speaking of, the trial of the assassins from each house kill one another to find the one who would endure the most is interesting, sure, and resembles the hades incident well... but i do wonder why they’d bother with wasting all of that training. for once, i agree with gashu - ‘the more talented assets you have, the better’ ... it could become a problem were they to rebel, but. i’m sure they have other powerful people of their own who helped with overtaking ‘the underworld’ and thus, if issues did arise (despite being raised solely in the organization), then they would rely on these older assassins to remain loyal enough to snip out the ones who attempt to rebel.

- if not assassins, then still people who were skilled in weaponry and providing it to asunaro agents who did require it (ie. gashu, eventually)... they would have the ability to step up as they once did for those who disobeyed the hades incident - except for gokujo.

- what were the ten years of training afterward meant to be...? after endurance, whoever won was then sent to satisfy assassination orders, but with kai failing to do so... surely they had to replace him? or ‘retrain’ him? before he could meet the leader of asunaro, he would have to prove that he was indeed able to kill someone else on their behalf without faltering - as that would be fatal if the leader ever did come to harm...

- did kai ever meet the leader at all ? no, really, i’m truly caught on this point because it seem as if he hasn’t (under the assumption meister / mr. chidouin are one in the same and the orchestrator of the death game), but if they still require a ‘first-class assassin’ then how did they proceed from there...?! were there future trials with those raised in asunaro?

- with that in mind, what even initiated this group of kids to be part of the trial in the first place? were they beginning to test out obstructors during training? what qualifies these ones as candidates for determining who was going to be raised to defend the leader? what did that entail?

- in general, i’m just. very concerned for the reasoning behind why they needed something like this so early on and not after they’ve already achieved proof of their kills/etc. and had to duke it out with what skills they’ve learned while on the field. i genuinely can’t see kai as any older than kanna’s age, though i do favor the idea he’s around 8-10 at this point. they would’ve been indoctrinated into asunaro anyhow - why choose just one...?

please don’t misunderstand! i did enjoy it overall, but i do think there is a lot more regarding asunaro training that we just did not truly get to see/understand as much as i personally would’ve liked to, enough to justify what the ‘trial’ meant :’]

[sou-ver-2-0]

Writing Master List

I love writing analysis and fanfiction for Your Turn to Die. Here, you can find links to all my writing. Spoilers abound!

Meta I’m Proudest Of

Why Calling It “Logic Versus Emotion” Makes Sense

Sou Hiyori and Kanna’s Sister Parallels

I was wondering why Sou had a zero percent survival rate…

What is Sou proudest of?

What is Kanna proudest of?

What is Keiji proudest of?

Unpopular opinion about Keiji

What are your thoughts on Nao as a character?

Why pushing Fake Reko is logical and sparing her is emotional

Shin vs. Kanna choice: each “valid in its own way”

That was a real comedy of errors on your part, Shin

What “Things” did Shin learn at Sou’s House?

If I could kill Keiji to save both Kanna and Shin...

Thoughts on queer-coded villains and Shin

I make Shin say five nice things about Keiji (not meta, but important)

Some jumbled thoughts about Redemption, and Part 2

How different do you think the story would be if Shin were a girl?

Theories

“Midori is Meister’s son,” and other Sou theories <- my favorite theory!

The Hades Incident, the Present Death Game, and the Role of the Man from the Memorandum

Rambling about Meister Family Theory

A Quick Keiji Theory

I’m staking my pride on this one: Keiji won’t die in the coffin. Part 1 and Part 2

Implications of Kanna being Original Sou’s blood relative

The Mystery of Anzu’s High Survival Rate

Fanfiction

My username is Florencetheflowerfairy on Ao3! Any fanfiction I write will be tagged “my fanfiction” on here.

I haven’t yet posted this to Ao3.

My fanart

Soup Hiyori

Happy birthday Kanna!

All of my meta

How does Sou deal with pain?

When does Sou feel safest? What would others change about him?

What would the others change about Sara?

What do I wish to see happen with Sou?

Chapter 3 Prediction: Sara will lose Keiji

Sou & Keiji’s relationship thoughts; and Personal Headcanons

Opinion on Midori / Original Sou; and Opinion on YTTS

Thoughts on Kurumada’s Partnership with Sou and Kanna

What calms Sou when he’s upset?

What does Sou wish he could change about himself?

Who would be Sou’s favorite fictional character?

What would EVERYONE change about Sou?

How did both Sous do in school?

Who does Sou want to please the most?

How would Kanna spend her money?

What calms Kai when he’s upset? How does Kai deal with pain?

How does Kanna do in school? What’s something Original Sou lost that he would love to have back?

What’s something I wish had happened with Joe?

Unpopular opinion about Q-Taro

What’s something I wish had happened with the Yabusame siblings?

Unpopular opinion about Kai

Unpopular opinion about Original Sou

Who would I vote for in the Second Main Game?

Laughing at Q-Taro in Russian Roulette

Speaking of “I laugh at inappropriate moments in YTTD”

Math Saga (Collection of Theorizing Posts about the Percentage Papers)

Why Kanna can’t take the scarf

More Scarf Meta

I think Shin should fake amnesia in the zaniest way possible, please

Thoughts on Mr. Policeman is Joe’s Dad Theory, Parts 1 and 2 (Some of these thoughts are outdated because I don’t think Keiji knew Joe’s last name in the beginning.)

If I ever seem too harsh on Keiji, please keep in mind

We can hear Joe’s music theme in Midori’s music theme

Thoughts on the Floor Masters

Did Shin send the Sacrifice Card to Joe?

What if Joe had one month to live?

What is Original Sou proud of?

Reading Shin as Queer

Alice and Pain

What would other people change about Kai?

Could Shin and Keiji’s roles switch?

What was Keiji like before the shooting?

I encouraged Sister to vote for Kai in Practice Round

How does Original Sou/Midori sleep?

Who do you think Keiji would bond with the most?

Analysis of Sara’s vote in the Practice Vote

Massacre Ending Thoughts

Thoughts on Naosara?

Dummy Bullet Saga (How did Shin know about dummy bullets??)

Keiji is my Confront Character

What will the fallout with the dummies look like?

Keiji seeing the percentage papers is the simplest answer IMO

Thoughts on Keialice

Thoughts on Joesara

Shin Tsukimi could have DIED ON HIS BIRTHDAY?!

Shin is Poor! Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3

One more funny story, on a walk with Sister...

How would Shin have fared in the Death Game without the Sou persona?

Is Shin too good for this world? (Reaction to above meta)

How would Joe, Kai, and Mishima approach the Second Main Game vote?

What do you think would be Shin’s partnership ability?

Thoughts on AI personalities

Reaction to ‘Sara gets the Sage Card’ Theory

Have you considered the implications of 0.0% vs. 0%?

Foolish Sara AU

When does the Death Game take place, and how long are they there?

Shin’s relationships with Reko and Gin

“When you drink, you gotta be careful not to get swallowed up yourself.”

Judge Keiji by the fact that he’s acting like a cop

I���ve switched to calling him Shin! 

What was Shin like in the years after Original Sou died, but before the Death Game?

Headcanons and Shin, Kanna, and trading tokens

Analyzing Shin and Sara’s doll placements in Safalin’s lab

Shin’s reaction to Sara’s “Haven’t we always been the bestest of friends?”

Scenario: Keymaster Kanna takes Shin’s key necklace instead of his scarf

Artists should draw Kanna grieving Shin however they like

Nao and Shin’s friendship

“I happen to like people with nice personalities”

I’m just putting these here so I can find them if necessary: 1, 2, 3

What if Shin thinks Sara is an adult?

Shrodinger’s Lock Saga (Many theories came from speculating about Asu-Naro’s weird locks in Sara’s first trial!)

Shin emulating Sou, oh no

Some thoughts on Shin and Alice, and the darker side to their relationship

A Serious Analysis of the Collarbone Sprites (& other Shin sprites)

Midori and Joe Sprite Parallels

Do you think Ranmaru is more or less reliable than Keiji?

Ranmaru and Keiji Parallels and Thoughts on Keiji flirting

Ranmaru and Keiji reacting to Joe

Out of the cast, who do you think is most likely to be the mastermind?

Miley vs. Gashu thoughts

Megumi Sasahara theories and headcanons

I love that this game’s heart is so earnest

AU where Shin has the Sacrifice, and he can’t pick Kanna

Theory/Headcanon: Sou-Shin-Sara-Kanna three year age gaps

Scenery Paintings in the Gallery

Kanna and Original Sou Parallel - “creepy smiles”

Undertale Parallels, and making Original Sou sympathetic

Kai and Original Sou Parallels

Fic ideas: Green-haired characters, and Shin + Sara Friendship

I love Fake Reko so much!

What if the decision to push Fake Reko affects what happens with the dummies?

Follow-up to above meta about Fake Reko

What if Joe died in his First Trial?

Reaction to Keiji Discourse about flirting, Part 2

Reactions to Fem!Shin:

Kanna’s perspective, Bath Scene Shin, More Bath Scene, Keiji flirting with Shin, I DON’T CARE HOW SEXY HE IS, Am I a lesbian

Will the dummies want to fill in for their counterparts’ lives?

Q-Taro Pacman Sister Theory

Poison Stinger analysis and Rio Ranger’s characterization

Megumi returns as a doll theory

More thoughts on “Back Up Candidates” Theory

Thoughts on AIs representing younger personalities

What if the current Death Game is another simulation?

Shin and Q-Taro ages musings

Shin and Sara ages musings

Honorifics Analysis: Part 1 and Part 2

Everyone’s music preferences headcanons

Shin’s thoughts on Gin in Logic Route

What if Shin died and Kai survived in the Second Main Game?

Imagine Trans Kanna

Thoughts on the names Sara “suspects” when learning that there is a human from Asu-Naro among us

Why doesn’t Shin challenge Keiji for lying that he’s a detective at the start?

Shipping

Which death hurt you the most?

Who do you think is overrated? Who do you think is suspicious?

Shin-Sou roleswap AU

Did you ever notice how Shin is crying during the First Main Game?

How do you think the characters sleep?

What if Shin became Sara’s ally instead of Keiji?

Seven Deadly Sins in YTTD

Song Analyses

“Rat” by Penelope Scott

“Villainous Thing” by Shayfer James

“Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)” by Panic! at the Disco

“Butterflies and Hurricanes” by Muse

"House of memories" by Panic! at the Disco

More fun posts

Sister tag (All submissions by my sister)

Sometimes I get self-conscious for loving Sou Hiyori so much

Thinking about how our Sou Hiyori is a queer-coded villainous type

Picrew of the Greenblings

Fannish ramblings and Speculation about Voting for Keiji in 2nd Main Game

Sou has a halo in the manga

Sprite Parallels between Kanna, Sara, and Sou

Confession: Character development is more important than plot twists

Star Wars KOTOR musings

My Favorite Thing about Sou and Sara meeting

Another Greenblings Picrew

How to roast my fave

Are the greenblings next to each other??

Me feeling soft about Sou x Alice and Sou x Kai in spite of myself

I’m too much of a nerd for tumblr

Picrew of Green-haired characters and Sara

Cute Kurumada and Kanna headcanons

Do it for Nao

Happy birthday Keiji, from Sou

Danganronpa Thoughts as of 10/22/20

Top 3 emotional moments

Comparing Eye Sizes

I’m all caught up with 3-1A as of 10/24/20

Link to my “Shin attacking Inbox” edit

I am my PFP

“Disclosure” apparently means “Coming Out”

What did you name your Midori?

Do you think Shin was a gamer?

PMMM Thoughts: Logic vs Emotion

Why would you make Shin a tank?!

Dracula is Sou and Shin is Renfield

Among Us Headcanon

I just think Kanna having the Keymaster first is good drama

So long you fucking fascist (posted on 11/7/20)

Please don’t send me leaks!

Also how are we going to tag spoilers...? (11/12/20)

oh no I’m getting sentimental

Shin and Sara’s confrontation over the smartphone remains my favorite thing ever

Reactions to “I make Shin say five nice things about Keiji”: 1, 2, 3

A Rewarding part of my blog

My undying love for Britney Spears

“Ahaha, I’m glad you remembered my name.”

I love this picrew for the Greenblings

“Saw” and “Cage” on Google Translate

What if there were two Gonbee Yamadas?

Put them in meme boxes

Keiji’s emo eyeliner

Shin can smash something! and part 2

Acrostic Poem for Sou Hiyori

Midori’s canon voice

“Sou” puns

Time sensitive questions!! 1 and 2

All the characters’ ages

Do you think Shin swears?

Let’s not pit bears and twinks against each other!

Here’s how Shindemption can still win

tfw you draw fanart in time for Kanna’s birthday

Keiji accuses Shin of breaking Mishima’s monitor even though he KNOWS Shin is innocent

Q-Taro and Shin college AU

Kugie’s ghost haunting Keiji

Christmas 2020: Part 1 and Part 2

Picrew of Shin and Sou, High School Days~

I struggle to write villains

I play Villains Bingo with Shin

…

This list will be updated sporadically as I write more! You can always use the “mine” tag to find any worthwhile original post I make.

Please feel free to talk to me about YTTD anytime! I love hearing from you all! It keeps me motivated and makes me happy to meet people!

[datastate]

YES WHY AREN'T PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT MR CHIDOUIN MANIPULATING KAI

Bro literally fooled him into thinking that he was finally part of a family again and that he was loved. I'm so sure Kai projected the family he couldn't have into the Chidouins... loving present parents (father especially) and a sibling he can now successfully protect. his second chance. and mr Chidouin fueled all of this and no one talks about it 💔

IT'S... HEARTBREAKING! i personally interpret a lot of kai's resignation toward gashu as something that was present years before he met the chidouins. the wake of the assassin's trial wore on both of them, and i'm sure the frustration only grew between them with kai's refusal to fulfill his role as an assassin - the best outcome is asunaro would switch his field of expertise; the most likely outcome is that kai will be executed. in his desperation, he's always pushed kai to his limits; by the point he weans off of this is the point at which gashu is accepting kai's as good as dead (and, from that, ends up surrounding himself in theoreticals, those what-ifs: what if kai weren't so compassionate? what if kai had no choice but to act upon resentment? what if sei survived? so on, so forth... all present within the ranger project, drawing from both of them.)

gashu and mr. chidouin both have an issue where their cruelty stems from how much they love those they're abusing.

however, gashu - at least, by the end of it - is clinging to the idea of kai more than kai as a person. gashu evidently cares for his (biological?) family and places priority on kai over sei for this reason. the disconnect only grows once kai is essentially... as good as dead, to the organization. and that's why gashu begins on the ranger project... he wants confirmation, any at all, that there was a possible outcome for either of his possible successors that didn't result in death. but, he's only left with the awful truth that there was nothing he could've done. even ridding them of their compassion, making them ruthless without abandon, wouldn't grant them anything but ire from the organization. asunaro may be a yakuza, but it's much more involved in its technical side than brute force, and when that inevitably clashes with its ideals (regardless of its reasoning), they will be duly executed.

(ultimately, as of the second main game, the only one who accepts that role is michiru - who has witnessed the death of all of the satous who were accepted by asunaro, due to their devotion. in a sense, michiru falls victim to that same complex of being all too devoted to one thing (her ambitions) and that being what asunaro intends to prey upon, making her the perfect successor. but i digress...)

unlike gashu''s fruitless attempts, kai's given his "second chance" as you've said! one that's possible only by mr. chidouin's grace.

though kai's status has significantly fallen, and he's been outcast from the organization with no intention of returning for such a menial task of data gathering. as i see it, kai shares a similar mindset to many asunaro agents in that he's... restless. beyond the fact he stands as an omen for the chidouins, proof that asunaro's going to seize them when the time comes, the work he's assigned is mind-numbingly repetitive and meant to break his resolve down. he's newly isolated from asunaro (which, for better and worse, was his only source of stability; a constant he could rely upon) and must keep up a lie before people who deserve much better than himself.

kai's initial phrasing of being "disgusted" with mr. chidouin for treating him as if he was family has always stood out to me. it's very upsetting! i believe this feeling brings about the point where kai ends up confessing the homemaker work is a facade, and begins laying out asunaro's intentions in sending him here. it's been confirmed through the ministory that kai will at least tell mr. chidouin of his past in asunaro, and mr. chidouin has always been implied to hold him to a certain standard/distance from sara because of the danger kai embodies - i believe part of the reason kai revealed this, other than to help prepare the chidouins for what they're up against, is to let them cast free judgement. no longer putting up that front of the polite caretaker allows them to see him as he 'truly is' and decide whether or not he's still worthy of that affection. with all the cards laid out, all the blood on these supposedly kind hands, their judgement now has unclouded basis.

...& yet, they decide he is worthy of love. for all the harm he's committed, the very fact he confessed this truth before asunaro could go any further means compassion still lays within him. this was the start of kai being allowed to live, rather than survive.

however, kai satou was never meant to 'live'. i've mentioned this before, but i see kai's first trial as not taking place within the death game, but in the seven years before he was sent to the death game. this was mr. chidouin's way of making sure kai was of use to the organization in one of two ways:

1) kai has had asunaro's purpose ingrained enough such that he will remain a neutral, compliant party to sara's capture for the ultimatum. meaning compassion is not his driving force, as many had thought, and they may start anew in testing his loyalty in another field that did not require being the one to lay the final blow (as has that has always been where he falters, though he'll stand by to another's death). or 2) as it happens in-game, mr. chidouin manages to take advantage of a moment's vulnerability from kai and build that bond. kai is now loyal to the family, and indirectly: asunaro. though his execution is inevitable, there will be far less struggle: kai will become a willing sacrifice for its purposes. with this life granted by the chidouins, he will give it up for their sakes without protest because he's learned to love and trust them.

however, for either of these outcomes, mr. chidouin took a large risk in accepting kai as a guard for his family at all. building that trust was crucial. if kai were to discover mr. chidouin's connections to asunaro, the likelihood he would be hurt (if not be the push for kai to finally kill; he's still an assassin, after all) was extremely high. the fact he took this risk at all was likely out of respect for the satous' work & kai's own supposed victory of the assassin's trial - as well as some curiosity to see what such a valuable piece was worth, were he able to get him back on his side.

of course, kai is not stupid by any means. he was raised in an environment where deceit is commonplace, and would've immediately recognized any false front mr. chidouin put up if he were only ever looking to use kai. instead, mr. chidouin began with cautiously learning about kai as an equal (a possible enemy), and held genuine respect for him as an individual. unlike gashu, he was never looking for how to force kai into fitting asunaro's orders - but instead, how to clearly identify kai's motivations and connect those to what asunaro needed. this sort of deliberation requires empathy and understanding on a very personal level.

which... is where i disagree with the idea that mr. chidouin was only ever leading kai on with false ideas/promises. kai didn't catch onto any ulterior motives because there were no ulterior motives to find - though he's been prepared for years to be hypervigilant of such things. kai is smarter than that, and mr. chidouin wouldn't take the risk of himself/his family being killed if he didn't respect kai in some regard. he could've let kai die as is, but remained confident he could connect with & lead kai to a more satisfactory execution - one he felt kai deserved.

mr. chidouin invited him to the chidouin home because he wanted to examine what future kai should follow - none of that is a lie. he wanted to know kai's perspectives on the orders asunaro has given him in the past, on how kai sees the world after having been raised by asunaro, or even - kai's feelings toward the chidouins... and there's no way to falsify his hesitance when he tries asking if kai intends to give them up to asunaro. the anger, as a father, if kai would still put sara in harm's way (as far as kai knows of asunaro's intentions, it'd reflect poorly upon kai himself to do so). none of this is falsified and seems fitting of a normal civilian who's been forced to balance this target on their back. beyond asunaro, too, he manages to slip into kai's life in small ways - remind him that he's here in messages, calls, or with physical touch. he'll encourage kai and praise him for improving upon his homemaker work or cooking, and he'll share in any joy kai offers. if kai asks about him, he'll say what he can... and kai rarely questions the few times he leaves anything out, because of how he's been raised & reminded to not impose due to his position in darkness.

over time, mr. chidouin preys upon that subtle fear and inferiority kai feels: believing himself to be less deserving (or... human) than civilians are. kai's been stained by darkness, cursed to be no more than a shadow such that he'll never destroy sara's light, so on, so forth... and it only reinforces how strong and forgiving mr. chidouin is by contrast. despite what mr. chidouin says, kai's left with the feeling that anyone else would rightfully condemn him or be afraid of him. mr. chidouin's hope that kai can improve and find something for himself is something that's... so important to kai, because he emphasizes the idea that kai can eventually forge his own path - something asunaro repeatedly denied, so intent on bending him until he broke.

anyway, just. with all of this, and mr. chidouin's personal balance of light/darkness & understanding of what social situations ask of him -- kai was blinded by it. mr. chidouin's scary because he's all too genuine, most of the time. he genuinely wanted to give kai another chance to prove himself to asunaro before he died because he was such a strong contender - and from that, he eventually wanted kai to have a life he felt fulfilled in. seeing how much kai learned and how much more. open he became as time went on was something that made him feel... proud. and i'm of the belief that there were some moments he wouldn't document for asunaro because he felt they were too personal. things he felt special for being able to learn about kai, where even his father couldn't pry any of that from him.

mr. chidouin learned what kai wanted, and, as you said, fueled that desire to have the chance to protect people this time. gashu was long-gone. sei was sacrificed. kai wasn't going to allow the chidouin parents to be ill-prepared for asunaro's manipulation, nor let sara be sacrificed to the ultimatum to bolster whichever victor rose upon the ashes. mr. chidouin listened close and agreed to kai's plans to save them, only to relay every part of that to asunaro. that preparation is exactly why they were so prepared when kai's betrayal finally came and were able to organize it so quickly.

kai's attempted betrayal of the organization that raised him was met with betrayal of his own family. mr. chidouin fostered their bond to the point that... i honestly don't think kai could stop caring about him, even if he finally broke that trust. the love he granted was genuine, and it's difficult to discard that when it's the very reason for him doing... everything to prove kai wasn't yet useless (to asunaro).

i've gone on far too long, but. gestures. i'm shaking your hand so much... i really like talking abt kai's different feelings toward gashu v. mr. chidouin's treatment and how each paternal figure had envisualized kai's future. gashu was stalwart in the idea kai couldn't die (and leave him alone; he even made up that absence with ranger...), whereas mr. chidouin accepted that as necessary and wanted to have kai thrive & reach his potential until that inevitable point in fate. it's very interesting seeing how that slight change of acceptance can affect their treatment of those around them and affect their perceptions so heavily.