#for the record I'm not superstitious I just like to have fun

[gothhabiba]

najia I respect you so much cause just one person talking to me the way dozens do to you almost daily makes me practice murder with my mind. this cannot continue!

lol!!!! this blog does not give al 3ayn. but I know what you mean

[siilvan]

fortuna redux

characters (ocs): mylène "petra" scholten de ridder, freya "mini" mactavish

summary: the medic of the 141 suddenly becomes two.

genre: general, fluff, light angst?, fem!oc

warnings: semi-proofread, cursing, mentions of canon-typical violence, mild descriptions of blood/injuries, mildly superstitious stuff, they're so sister-coded...

word count: 3k

note: “but navi we want bloodsport” i know babygirls, it’s gonna be my next post 😔 i just need to be cringe with my oc first…

also big shoutout to @sofasoap for giving me the much-needed confidence to write this AND for trusting me with her beloved mini 😌 this is going to get zero notes, but idc, i wrote it for fun lol

you let out a soft breath as you sift through documents, analyzing dossiers and combat records until your eyes burn and beg for a break. it's the season of new recruits, which means late nights, early mornings, and headaches for yourself. why did you offer to train them when price asked?

probably because ghost has a track record of sending new faces running for the hills. as the one-four-one's only other commanding officer, you're the only one fit for the job. fantastic.

after a much needed break – that consisted of you laying back in your chair with a damp cloth over your eyes – you grab the next document off the pile on your desk and scan it like you did with every other. you stop short before you even finish reading the name at the top, though.

freya mactavish.

surely, it can't be...

you flip through the pages of the dossier, blinking at the information that only served to confirm your suspicions. scottish, twenty-two years old, combat medic, has an older brother in the special forces...

"no fucking way." you mumble, staring at the picture attached to the file. you recognize her from pictures that soap's shown you over the years – she is, without a doubt, the "mini" he's told you so much about. why haven't you heard about the transfer request until now?

when you come across the combat records, the reason is glaringly clear. she hardly passed on all fronts; if she was any other recruit, this file wouldn't have even made it to your desk. she can't match the rest of the team in the field, you'd all end up slowing down to accommodate her. it's nothing that can't be fixed with dedicated training, but with how precious the task force's time is, you simply don't have the time to bring new recruits up to speed.

with a quiet groan, you push back from your desk and gather up the files on her, heading out the door and padding down the hall towards price's office.

you round the corner and spot him unlocking the door, his back facing you.

"captain!" you call out from down the corridor, catching his attention. price turns to look at you, pausing with the door held open as you approach.

"you're up early, petra." he comments, reminding you to glance at the time. five am— shit, you spent the whole night pouring over those files. "got something for me?" he continues, pulling your focus back to him.

you nod, waving the document folder at him. "i've got some questions about one of these recruits."

his eyes flick between you and the folder, before a low chuckle escapes him. "think i might know who you're talking about." he mutters, motioning for you to follow him into his office.

he shuts the door behind you and clicks the lock shut before circling around his desk and settling in his chair. you sit across from him and lay the files out, starting when he nods for you to speak.

"i'm assuming you've connected the dots between the surnames?" you ask, earning an affirmative hum. "you've known soap longer than i have, so maybe this makes sense to you, but—" you flip through the pages of the dossier and slide it towards him, pointing out the large boxes of redacted information with two companies logos plastered at the top of the page. "—i can understand mi6's involvement with this, but what does the cia want with a low-ranking british soldier?"

price leans back in his chair and drags his eyes from the document to you. "it's a long story." he shrugs, pulling a frustrated huff from you.

"come on, price, don't give me that." you reply, shaking your head. "soap's never mentioned anything like this. is there something i need to be worried about if we recruit her?"

his tongue darts out and wets his lips as he lets out a noise, somewhere between a groan and a sigh. "even i don't have all the information, scholten. all i know is that she's damn good at what she does." he sits up straight and thumbs through the dossier, glancing over it like he's already familiar with the contents. he probably is.

"you've been tripling as this team's commander, medic, and medical intelligence expert since its formation. you've already got ghost and myself to handle most of the leadership, but you need someone to help with the rest." he asserts, unclipping the picture from the rest of the stack and holding it up to face you. "you need the assistance and she's reliable. trust me on this."

you blink at the photo, then at him. "she barely passed any of the physical tests – even her marksmanship scores were average at best. there's other medics with better scores, captain. i know we cherish family on this team, but i'm not willing to send someone unequipped onto the battlefield."

price sets the picture down and sighs, low and heavy in his chest. "did you see what she's called?" he asks.

you furrow your brows at him. "something like... what was it, 'lady fortuna?' what does that have to do with this?"

"lady luck, lieutenant. she doesn't look like much on paper, but whenever she's in the field, people always come back. the only person that serves to suffer when she's working is herself." he smiles as a noise of confusion tumbles from your lips.

"never pegged you as the superstitious type," you start, squeezing your eyes shut and pinching the bridge of your nose. "that isn't reassuring, anyway. i can't risk having a soldier, especially family, die under my watch, even if it means the rest of the team makes it home unscathed."

price places a firm hand on your shoulder, jostling you and forcing you to look at him again. "it's your refusal to let her die that'll keep her alive." he mutters, and the plan in his mind finally clicks with you.

she'll keep you from working yourself to death. you'll keep her from dying in her work.

a mutual safety net.

price, you clever bastard.

"you were never going to let me say 'no,' were you?" you cock your head to the side, slumping back in your chair.

he shrugs, mirroring your position and producing a cigar from one of his pockets. "i always respect your judgement." he lights it and places it between his lips. you move to gather the documents and stand, before he snaps his fingers, remembering something. "a transport just picked her up, by the way. she'll be here in a few hours."

you pause mid-action and glower at him. "guess i should get started on the training schedule, then."

⋆⋆⋆

"corporal freya mactavish, reporting for duty, ma'am."

you eye the younger woman curiously, noticing the way she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, shrinking a bit under your scrutiny.

bright blue eyes, just like her brother. she's a few inches shorter than yourself, about five-four according to her files, and you feel yourself soften a bit at the glimmer in her eyes – a soldier desperately wanting to be acknowledged. again, it reminds you of soap.

"so, you're the new recruit?" you regard her with a gentle smile in an attempt to ease her nerves. when she visibly relaxes from her stiff stance, you turn to price. "i'll take care of her, captain."

price uncrosses his arms and chuckles. "don't be so quick to write her off, petra. who knows, she might end up surprising you." he says, tapping your arm and giving mini an encouraging nod, before walking out of the room and leaving the two of you alone.

you turn back to her and rest your hands on your hips, silently studying her again. you don't miss the puff of her chest under her vest when she inhales deeply and opens her mouth to speak.

"you can call me mini, lieutenant," she utters, the stiffness from earlier returning, her shoulders locking up as she stands more straight. "i know i'm not much of a soldier, but..." she trails off, her gaze flitting from yours to the empty space between you.

your brows furrow as you tilt forward. "but?" you repeat, urging her to continue.

she drags her focus back to your face, but still avoids looking directly into your eyes. "my brother's told me a lot of stories about you, and... i swear, i won't disappoint you."

she's sheepish, hands flexing as she confirms her statement, and you almost let the pity you feel flash across your face. she's so similar, yet so different from her brother. every word is said like she has something to prove; to you or herself, you're not sure.

"we'll have to swap stories sometime," you start, stepping closer to place your hands on her shoulders. "soap's always going on about you, he's very proud." you assure her with a gentle squeeze. mini rolls her eyes at it, but smiles nonetheless.

"i hope he hasn't mentioned any embarrassing childhood stories..." she mutters.

you pull back, recalling the many stories the sergeant's told about his family since joining the squad. "just a few. we can share those later, we've got a busy day ahead of us."

⋆⋆⋆

you had hoped the combat records would be out of date, but to your chagrin, they reflected mini's performance well.

her shots are hitting the target... most of the time, at least. you've had to correct her stance and grip more than once, give her several basic tips— so now, you're standing behind her, eyeing the target over her shoulder, your fingers twitching at your sides as you watch her form slip again. before you can correct it, however, she pauses and shifts, fixing her posture and adjusting her grip on her rifle.

it's been three hours, but she's showing some improvement, you think to yourself, the edges of your lips twitching up.

mini lowers her gun after emptying another clip and lifts the headphones from her ears, turning to you. "what do you think?" she asks, searching your face for approval.

you take off your own headphones and step closer, squinting at the target. most of the bullet holes lie around the edges, near misses, or scattered around the torso of the silhouette. there's a handful of headshots, but for three hours of work, it isn't enough.

"you're getting better," you sigh, facing her once more. her face drops and you rub the side of her arm in a small attempt at comfort. "you just need more practice, is all. that's why i'm here."

she huffs and shakes her head, setting her rifle on the counter. "you're supposed to be leading me in the infirmary and the field, not holding my hand through the basics, lieutenant." she complains in a low grumble, crossing her arms tight over her chest. your eyes narrow as your hand drops back to your side; you know her frustration lies with her performance, not you.

mini trails close behind your right shoulder, listening intently as you rattle off the list of activities for the day. basic marksmanship, physical tests, close-quarters combat... things that the rookies even younger than her are working on.

"you aren't going to be seeing as much action as the boys or myself, but you still need to be capable enough to defend yourself if necessary." you say, stopping in front of the door to the shooting range.

she hums, standing in front of you. "i know i'm not as skilled as the rest of you, but i can hold my own." she replies, furrowing her brow.

"i'm not clearing you for duty until you show some major improvement." you assert. her eyes widen, pupils turning into small saucers, before the crease in her forehead returns.

"lieutenant, you can’t—"

"i can," you state, perhaps a bit too stern, as the rest of her rebuttal immediately dies on her tongue. "price put you under my watch for a reason. i can't in good conscience send you out underprepared." you continue, softening to a low murmur.

mini merely stares at you, the gears turning in her head. after several seconds of this, finally, she relents with a barely-audible exhale.

"let's do this, then."

the sound of an irritated groan brings you back to the moment. you look just in time to see mini lean back against a nearby wall, her head tilting back and knocking lightly against the surface. she shuts her eyes and breathes in deeply, prompting you to go quiet as she steadies herself.

once her eyelids flutter open again, you speak. "let's take a break, yeah?" you give her a tight-lipped smile. "we can worry about the physical and close-combat tests later. we have plenty of time."

mini eyes you for a few seconds, deep blue irises swimming with about a hundred different emotions, cascading across the surface like waves crashing against jagged rocks during a storm. you've never seen so much conflict in soap, even in his worst times – whatever she's feeling clearly goes deeper than irritation over slow progress.

"how about we hang out? get to know each other a bit?" you suggest, brushing past the observation.

she seems to ease up at your words, her fingers interlacing in front of herself as she silently considers a response. a short, yet eager, nod of her head brings a more genuine smile to your lips.

you find yourself comfortably settled in on one of the worn couches in the common room after cleaning up the range, leaning back against the arm of the couch to face mini as you talk to her, mug of steaming tea in-hand.

"johnny's never been pleased with me following in his footsteps," she confesses after taking a healthy sip of her tea, her legs crossed under the blanket you haphazardly slung across your laps.

you hum, lowering your mug to rest atop your knee. "can't blame him. once you're in this field, you stop wanting your family close." you chuckle, before adding, "i wasn't particularly happy when my brother joined the forces, so i get where he's coming from."

mini grumbles into the rim of her cup and sends you a half-hearted glare. "i'm perfectly capable, though." she mutters, earning another curt laugh from you.

"i'm not saying you're not – even though there's still a lot to improve on – but, think about his perspective." you lean forward, motioning with your hands as you continue. "his little sister, who sounds very prone to injury and bad luck, going into such a dangerous line of work? i'm surprised he doesn't have you attached to his keychain."

you both pause, waiting to see who concedes in the argument first, before another thought crosses your mind. "speaking of luck," you start, catching the raised brow she sends your way. "ever since i read your files, i keep hearing about this whole 'lady fortuna' thing. even the captain's pretty convinced you're lucky."

another beat of silence passes as you both sip on your tea. you eye mini curiously as her eyes dart anywhere but your face, avoidant, but not nervous by any means.

"i don't want to sound like i'm bragging, especially in front of you," she trails off, only perking up again once you dismiss her concerns with a wave of your hand. "i guess, uh... i've been told that i've got this knack for bringing soldiers home unscathed, even on dangerous operations that should end with casualties. it's become something of an urban legend." she says, eyes settling on the steam rising from her cup.

"and yet, you are always getting injured. guess the luck comes at a price, huh?" you comment off-handedly.

her mug lightly clacking against the table nearby catches your focus, drawing you back to her as she wrings her hands together.

"when one person's fortune rises, another falls," she utters, looking focused as ever as the words leave her lips. "bearing misfortune is the cost of giving good fortune to those around me."

for a second, you almost think she's joking. harmless superstitions exist everywhere in life, but this is a new for you – not only is mini convinced of it, but even the captain believes it to some extent.

when her eyes drag up to meet your gaze, you feel a pang in your chest.

the zero-sum game. one party's advantage is equal to another's disadvantage. mini's misfortune is equal in value to the good fortune of those around her. what could possibly match the value of saving lives, though?

death isn't the opposite reaction; to lose the fortune entirely is a worse fate. suffering is a fate worse than death for the benefactor— it's perpetual, iterative, something that would stick around for the rest of her life. save a life and have your own ruined, it's an equal trade. you set your cup aside and reach forward to wrap your hands around hers, holding them in a loose grip.

"let's split the cost." you murmur.

mini blinks at you, confused. "what?"

you squeeze her hands gently, warming when she mirrors it. "there's no sense in one person bearing the world's misfortune alone. i'll carry some of it and you'll save some of that luck for yourself."

she shakes her head and retracts her hands, sitting up straight and leaving you leaning forward. "i don't think that's how it works, lieutenant. it's not something you can just give or take." she stutters out, stifling a nervous chuckle.

"it works that way if we say it does. you can give out as much luck as you need and we'll bear the burden of it together." you take another sip of your tea and let out a low sigh. "i won't take 'no' for an answer, from you or from fate." you add a moment later.

mini giggles, finally giving in with an affirmative nod and a "yes ma'am" escaping her amidst the giggles.

you don't believe in superstitions about luck or fate. the choices a person makes is what defines them, not a third party pulling the strings. however, if it'll bring her some comfort, then you're happy to bear whatever misfortune you can. at the end of the day, keeping your team safe is more important than shallow beliefs.

as a bright grin crosses her face, you make a silent vow with yourself.

you won't let her suffer.

whatever it takes, you'll bring her home safe.

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Ghost's Parents Masterlist

Since someone asked about the both of them earlier in the week, I decided to give them an actual relationship masterlist.

As fun as this is to make, it's important to mention first and foremost that everything about these characters comes strictly from me. I am not referring to canon unless I want to make sure I am not actively working against anything. For the record, Peewee is imaginary, and Ghost Senior was implied to be Our Ghost's dad as a retcon to what was meant to be Ghost's canon perma-death. So if you want to use anything here, I'd be touched, just know it doesn't come directly from the source, it comes from me.

For the record, I have given Peewee his own non-nickname name-- it's Marion-- and I'm tempted to do the same for Ghost Sr. so he isn't just... Johnny Ghost Senior all the time... He's JGS now. Rolls right off the tongue.

This was supposed to post at a completely different time and is still a little half-baked. I’ll be sure to fix it up a bit later

History HCs

Unlike with Toast and Ghost, since this is entirely my own little thing, it means the story isn't as fluid. I'm able to discern actual points without feeling like I am actively trying to force a liquid to stand on its own.

High School

Neither Marion or JGS remembered their first meeting when they started dating, but before they were together, they were technically bitter rivals. (Only JGS would insist that)

When both Marion and JGS were in high school, they were incredibly active in their school's robotics team, both students much more persistent on winning than the others from their school.

They only had to compete against each other one year, but they were. Very open to the competition. To the point of lowkey annoying the other members of their team. Especially since they were past the point of adding things to their bots.

They only remembered this whole thing because one of them still had the ribbon from when they won that competition, and they realized it was the same one they both competed in as kids.

The Meetcute

While JGS wasn't born in North Carolina, he moved there before high school. He had no intentions of staying long after he turned 18, but after the sudden adoption of Ernest into the family, JGS got invested in helping his new brother and stuck around. The two became joined at the hip.

Additionally, Marion also wanted to break away from his family. He wound up going to a college in his own state for the pay benefits, but intentionally chose one farther from home. He came from a very superstitious family, so choosing a college that was well-known for being super haunted was probably a bad idea, but he dug it.

JGS and Ernest got jobs as mechanics instead of going to college, JGS not being sure what he wanted to do what his life yet, and Ernest not remembering any aspect of his life at all. Meanwhile, Marion found himself frequently visiting the shop in order to get new things for projects.

JGS is on perpetual cashier duty after blowing something up in his first week, and serves Marion almost every single time. Being a tech guy himself, he starts growing curious about what he could possibly be working on, and mentions it to Ernie.

While JGS doesn't pick up on it, Ernie realizes that he's beginning to fall in love with the idea of this guy, so he joins his brother at the register just long enough to ask Marion what he's working on. He listens for a little while, but leaves after JGS starts asking the right questions.

After a couple weeks of the two frequently chatting like this, they finally exchange numbers and begin having talks about meeting up together. Conversations turn from engineering, to other hobbies, to a broader understanding of the world.

When Ernest found out they started dating, the first thing he said was 'you weren't already?'

PIE

Unlike JGS, Peewee was raised very superstitiously, so while he had a healthy interest in the paranormal, it stopped right around where the sage ran out.

The two explored different ways to sense and collect data on the supernatural, putting their heads together to revolutionize paranormal technology as the world knew it. In the process, they caught the attention of T.Casket, an eccentric rich guy with a ambitious goal of making knowledge of the supernatural common international knowledge.

Peewee couldn't get himself to do it, but JGS saw this as nothing but a win, especially since Ernest already agreed to start working with the team ASAP.

Though JGS was often the one credited for the creation of a lot of the tools he used by T.Casket's show, Peewee was incredibly involved where he could be, and his involvement was always very obvious-- Peewee using steampunk imagery like a sign that something was made by him.

When Peewee was feeling brave, he might join the team on a mission or two, or help them do long-term research for solutions to conceptual problems. But most of the time he would prefer to stay home and maybe work the books if needed.

Because of the weird blur between the work-life balance, the two were able to turn long days at work into a date, though it also made some things more stressful than necessary.

PIE became a big part of the couple’s lives, the pair being very involved in making sure thing ran smoothly on a technical and personal level, especially after Gregory came into T.Casket’s life.

Any kind ghosts JGS met, he would introduce to Peewee to try to help his superstition. It wasn’t always helpful, but it helped expand his worldview.

Adopting Gregory

When T.Casket suddenly passed, Ernest was the first person to realize his son was likely missing for a paranormal reason, immediately taking it to his brother. Unlike JGS, he had settled down and started a family, and had a kid at home he needed to take care of, leaving JGS to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Widowed

It sucks to lose your spouse at such a young age, and Peewee didn’t really take it too well, turning away from the rest of the world.

He put more emphasis on his role of a father to ignore the loss of his role of husband. He wanted to make sure that Ghost would be better prepared than his father.

It does not help that not even a year after JGS went and got himself killed, Johnny got himself possessed that same year’s Halloween.

Peewee was the first person to know what happened, but his conflicted feelings about the supernatural made him feel forgiving, and he decided to turn the other cheek for this one since it didn’t seem to be hurting Johnny.

Then whatever it was killed Katrina, and Peewee spent the next week trying to pry Ghost and Casket apart.

Despite what Toast might think, Peewee likely knows more about Casket than any other living person on the planet. Especially since he had to learn where to hide the knife rack so he didn’t get murdered in his sleep.

Song HCs

Guys my music taste is too sad for this. Like. I struggled to find a song for a happy, loving relationship that ends in tragedy because my music taste is the painful ones.

From the bottom of my heart, oops.

[zephiraz]

Okay, I'm home, and I'm ready to infodump, and also my tumblr is glitching out because of privacybadger not interacting well with reblogging posts containing Spotify links. Time to add more spotify links!

But under a readmore, cause this might get long.

bumblebearcompany in another reblog suggested the Turisas cover of Rasputin. They are absolutely correct!

Wow that's big. Anyway....

But on the topic of Turisas!

The Varangian Way is just about one of the most epic albums there is. Powerful vocals. Powerful strings. Beautiful melodies. A story that sweeps you right up into the Dnieper Rapids and spits you out wondering what year it is.

Now, I didn't spend near enough time gushing about Finntroll. I'll link their most recognized song—Trollhammaren—and one of my absolute favorites—En Maktig Har—but I highly recommend every one of their albums in order. To whet the appetite of those just starting to explore, Nifelvind has a cover of Metallica's The God That Failed! Finntroll sounds like a party, and they're excellent gotta-go-fast music. Out for a run, trying to finish a row while knitting, just want to get that hype up, they're perfect. One of my dearest wishes is to see these guys in concert.

(Man I wish you could resize these things to not be so tall) Fun fact, Finntroll sings in Swedish rather than Finnish as the original singer was part of a Swedish-speaking minority in Finland and felt it fit the band's trollish image more. The band suffered many losses due to illness and accident, but continued the tradition of singing in Swedish.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I did not spend near enough time gushing about Ensiferum. I already linked a playlist containing most of my favorite albums, so instead I'll gush about two that weren't included because the playlist was already quite long.

Ensiferum starts every album with an instrumental track to set the mood. From Afar's By the Dividing Streams is utterly gorgeous, and does a wonderful job precursing an equally gorgeous album. This album ends with a cover of Vandraren, with the singer from Tyr doing the vocals. Second time in this post the singer from one of my favorite bands featured on a song by another of my favorite bands!

Lai Lai Hei is my favorite track on the album Iron. This song had me in its grip so hard that I declared I wanted it to be the song I hear when I die a century down the line, and that's also how I wound up with the superstitious belief that it saved my life. I had the Iron album playing while I drove to work one day. Lai Lai Hei played, the album ended, so I drove in silence for a couple minutes, just to get t-bone sandwiched by someone running a red light! I credit my surviving entirely unscathed to the silence!

I should have done those two the other way around, because it's Tyr time now. The first album of Tyr's I heard was The Lay of Thrym...on youtube, out of order. I got so used to that order that when I found Tyr on spotify and discovered the official order was different, I had to rearrange the album in a playlist to be Correct. Whether you mix up the order or not, though, The Lay of Thrym is a gorgeous journey with an epic titular track. By the Light of the Northern Star is an equally invigorating album, and funnily enough it gets me in the mood for spring cleaning. Buckle down and go fast! Out of all their tracks, I want to showcase what I find to be a beautiful love song:

Platonic, familial, romantic, what have you. It's about finding your home in the person dearest to you.

And as fate would have it, today is the first day of Tyr's Battle Ballads North American tour!

Speaking of tours, Korpiklaani is will shortly start touring in North America as well!

I mentioned above that Finntroll sounds like a party. Going hand in hand, Korpiklaani sounds like fun. Just look at those guys partying on the beach up there! Manala is an excellent album to start with, and my pick to showcase there....

Metal Ievan Polkka? There's nothing better.

To round it out as I'm once again running out of time (where'd the evening go???????), I'm going back to the Youtube guys. I'll link Jonathan Young's playlist of the shanty metal collabs below. He joined up with Colm McGuinness, RichaadEB, Bobby Bass, Caleb Hyles, Annapantsu, and Peyton Parrish for most of these. They're all insanely talented and each worth a look into their own works.

And that's all he wrote!

Hey pals please recommend me your favorite metal bands/songs

[headspace-hotel]

I've been struggling...so...hard...to maintain motivation with the biopunk WIP, which is approaching its 6th anniversary of Being In My Brain. I'm forever cycling back to "okay but what if your worldbuilding is boring and no one cares about the story you have to tell in this world and it sucks"

but right now i'm just...rereading it. and I wanted to share some of the worldbuilding concepts okay

tl;dr: the setting is The Future, post-apocalyptic, but the previous ("our") civilization and the immediate aftermath is an almost mythological past, an age of heroes and prophets, but people KNOW there was Real History, but everything that far back is kinda fuzzy and debatable.

this book is supposed to seriously fuck with your head in terms of the divide between sci-fi and fantasy and the divide between "science/knowledge" and "religion/myth."

The worldbuilding is DEEPLY steeped in spirituality, folklore, and religion, sacredness and the afterlife and other spiritual concepts like that are very REAL to the characters, and i'm trying to deal with it Very Respectfully and make it clear that these people are not superstitious or stupid.

(Everyone is also kind of a "mutt" spiritually/religiously which is super funny. The vibe is like, there are a lot of people who aren't super serious about religion but they are super serious about ghosts being real and if a priest is no help they'll go find a shaman.)

One of the main characters is non-binary. The philosophy and spirituality of gender in this world is discussed and it's neat. This character is also an archetypal Trickster in every sense and I won't say much more yet but they're probably my favorite character I've ever written AAAAAAAAA

i'm working so, so hard to express characters' understanding of "sci-fi stuff" like technology and scientific concepts in language that culturally makes sense to them, and it is SO fun. especially when I get to express science fiction stuff in "mythological" terminology

e.g. genetic engineering: "They unwound and read the scrolls within living cells. Mortals learned the forbidden language of Life." Like DNA is described as an arcane/magical "language" (The Inmost Language or the language of Life) but nothing said about it is exactly wrong. at one point the main character meets a character with unnaturally golden hair created by genetic engineering and MC is thinking "the institute scribes did that. wrote gold gold shiny gold shiny bright gold in her cells to tell her hair to do that." this book is FULL of stuff like this

There's a major religion centered around a prophet that heard the voices of the dead and wrote down their teachings.

If you're not paying attention, you will get bitchslapped by the reveal that this is literally what happened: there was a vault, think "nuclear waste warning messages," where recordings containing important information for future humans were stored, and someone found it and shared the information with others. stuff like "wash your hands to stop disease from spreading" and "don't be racist" kinda got turned into religious teachings that occasionally seem weird, even backward.

There is another big one where it's like "there was a prophecy that civilization would perish in rising water..." and it's like okay, this myth is Noah's flood. NO BITCH IT'S CLIMATE CHANGE. But also yes.

Wolves have kinda migrated into being a mythological animal that symbolizes death. One character knows they really existed and can't stop themselves from correcting other people about it but everyone else just thinks it's funny that they think wolves are real

there's a people group in this story that is...I guess "indigenous-coded" is the right word? and a lot of the worldbuilding surrounding their culture will fuck with your head so good because you, as the reader, are a cultural outsider and your understanding of their culture changes but is never 100% accurate

e.g. this culture has a taboo surrounding personal names where in all but the most intimate relationships and interactions you call others by descriptive 'nicknames' based on what you observe about the person, what you want them to know that you notice, etc. There is a TON of cultural meaning in WHAT you decide to call someone and it can be a power play or something that gives the other person a lot of information about your intentions. But basically the full "meaning" of the taboo and when it's appropriate/normal to use a personal name is never exactly clarified. But for a while as a reader you're just taking the piss because there's a scene where a character dramatically "reveals" his "real" name and it's very serious and emotional at the time but as the story goes on and you know more, it becomes clear that he was just fucking lying

i'm putting so much effort into streamlining how characters word things, making slang roll off the tongue and SOUND and feel natural and intuitive, making the technologies feel as normal as any technology we have around us.

like. most lighting is bioluminescent. But I'm not gonna point out bioluminescent lighting because who walks into a room and notices that the lights are electric. what you would notice is old electric bulbs with spiderwebs on them vs. new LED lights, and that's richer and more detail-laden stuff.

and after SO much hard work the descriptions feel so lush and rich and crunchy. I'm making it sound all Complex. It's fun. It's REALLY fun. there are zombies.

I've worldbuilt the most random things. I've invented a bunch of bioengineered cat breeds for this book. I made up a sport where goats race up a wooden pyramid and try to stay on top for the longest period and wrote a kentucky derby style narration for it. I designed a bobbit worm themed dress. not to mention. all the elaborate names for female criminals such as Gory Gertrude.

[petalsbloomed-a]

🎒🐞🍒🌶💯🎸 // the red emoji asks I MEANT TO SEND THIS SOONER BUT I FORGOT I'M SORRY

( HEHEHE NO WORRIES FAM UWUWU )

red emoji asks. | accepting!

🎒 - what’s your favorite school subject? is it fair to say music? i know i’m majoring in it but like-- come on it’s great. if i have to choose from the major academic ones i’d go with writing (or language arts, depending on the area), obviously. writing is such a fun pastime for me.

🐞 - are you a superstitious person? not really? i think stories about the supernatural are interesting to hear about since i love horror, but when it comes to really believing in it, then not in particularly.

🍒 - what’s your favorite flower? i’m not so sure i have a favorite flower, but i like carnations, lilies, and roses. anything small and cute in a bouquet is sure to get my attention as well.

🌶 - can you handle spicy foods? it really depends. i think i have a fairly well tolerance to spicy foods, but depending on how much i eat and how spicy we’re talking, i can easily be overcome with a numb tongue and a stomachache. overall i like spicy foods, but not ones that burn my tongue right when it goes in my mouth (chikage i’m looking at u lmao)

💯 - what’s something you are extremely proud of right now? probably where i’m at in my life. i think the pandemic has made my ability to deal with anxiety/depression/ADHD pretty tough, but now that i’m back at school i’m starting to feel a whole lot better. having the ability to go to a nice school and study what i want is an incredible privilege and i feel so lucky about where i’m at in my studies at the moment.

🎸 - what kinds of music do you like? i’m down to listen to just about anything, but i’ve been super into k-pop as of late. i study classical music and i listen to movie soundtracks a lot (since one of my career aspirations is to be in a film orchestra that records for movies/shows/video games/etc), but in my free time i’m more or less sucked into pop, alternative, rock, hip-hop, dance/edm, basically any kind of mainstream genres that are in right now.

[themindofcassiopeia-blog]

OCD

Hello my Astrophiles✨

So I was in English yesterday and my teacher was asking a guy (ironically the guy I like) if he was "OCD or something" because he wanted his work neat or something. That same day a girl in my class was talking about her notes and how untidy they were and how she's so OCD ahout that.

So after ranting to @funkfashionjr about how it irritating me I decided I should write a blog post about it because it is an all too common misconception that OCD is neatness or being irratated at a picture being hung up crooked.

OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is a mental disorder, a real illness and is not something to wish to have. You also cannot be OCD. There's no such thing as "I'm so obsessive compulsive disorder about that painting". You can have OCD not be it.

OCD is excessive thoughts (obsessions) that lead to repetitive behaviours (compulsions). Even the most disorganized of people can have OCD. It has nothing to do with being a perfectionist but that doesn't mean it can't be something that bothers a person with OCD. Treatment for this includes anything from medication to therapy. It is associated greatly with anxiety as well.

For me it's having to count to 22 while I rinse my hands, 22 seconds to lather with soap, 22 seconds to dry my hands and then I repeat that once more.

It's waking up and blinking my eyes 11 times before I can even move and then getting out of bed with my right foot touching the floor first and then my left. Right slipper on, left slipper on. Grabbing my backpack, right arm then left.

Brushing my teeth, right side firat then left. Repeat again. Mouthwash for the right. Mouthwash for the left. Bleeding gums? Who cares as long as I don't break the orders.

It's looking 8 times before I cross the road, right left right left right left right left and counting my steps wheverer I go.

Click pens can't be left alone until they have clicked a certain amount of times and my need to tap whatever desk or table I am at 18 times leaves me focusing on the numbers in my head rather than the numbers sitting on my page in maths. It's thinking about a specific thing over and over even if it's insignificant and unrelated to anything. It's repeated thoughts running threough your head and having to say phrases that are caught in your mind over and over silently to yourself. You get a song stuck in your head? I get a random few words of who knows what playing over and over on repeat in my head.

These may not seem that bad but these are just a few and not things that everybody does so don't generalize please. OCD is like having a rational brain and an irrational brain all at once and they argue non stop.

OCD can come with being an extreme phobia of germs and feeling like should you not do things in a specific way you are contaminated.

It can leave you in fear or with very explicit thoughts that can often be violent and they just stay there and replay like a broken record.

Checking things over and over and over even though you checked it both 2 hours and 2 minutes ago.

Being superstitious about numbers, orders, colours etc. This is one situation where those OCD misconceptions can come into play.

Or even hoarding items because of the worry that you will need it and not have it.

It comes in cycles of an obsessive thought leacing you with crippling anxiety forcing you into compulsive behaviour and then eventually a temporary relief from caving into the compulsions. It's not fun ir quirky or cute or something to long for. It's painful and stressful and scary and it's like you are fighting with your mind on a daily basis.

Let's stop romanticizing and stereotyping OCD and let's see it for what it is. A mental illness that needs to be taken seriously.

So to any of you who are struggling with or think you might have OCD then help is available. It may not be curable but treatment can help. I'm here for all you guys and remember I'm always open for messages or comments if you need to talk. Make sure to like, repost, share my blog and let somebody know you love them no matter what today.

I love you to infinity and beyond💙

xx Cass xx