#for the doctors who repeat this sort of thing genuinely though I'm gonna have to say 'public academic peer reviewed papers be upon ye'

[rabbitindisguise]

I think I'm starting to make peace with the widespread misinformation known as [redacted] because as frustrating and limiting as it is, at the very least it got some parents to stop mistreating their kids for something that they couldn't help and that's pretty important? sometimes science alone can't get people to see sense. People need quips and truisms as the last enduring defense against bad ideas

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 44

What Is and What Should Never Be/The Impossible Planet

"What Is and What Should Never Be"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Considering we START with Sam and Dean? I'm gonna go with no, I just wouldn't survive doing their job

Not to get too into my own shit, but, honestly, that's the first thing I'd do, too...

These family photos are so poorly photo shopped but it's great

Is Carmen gonna get Jessica'd?? Was that Carmen he saw??

It's funny that Dean seems like the kind of guy who definitely mowed many a lawn (not a euphemism), but goddamn...no he hasn't (did a banger job though)

Oh...oh god, it's gonna suck to see this all fucking go away, for him to realize that he can't live here, to have to go back to reality.

Mmmmmmmmm...this. This...is EXCRUCIATING to have to watch. Just heartwrenching.

OH GODDDD. IT'S ALL THE PEOPLE HE AND SAM SAVED. THEY'RE ALL DEAD NOW. And he's being haunted by it.

This is like the first episode all over again. uggggghhhhhhh

OOOMMMGGG Sam got in the car with him...I'm sorry. This episode is nothing but feelings

Now you're getting it, Dean!!

So, to catch everyone up as I only screamed my feelings for forty minutes: Sam and Dean were hunting a djinn, Dean gets caught by it and entered a dream world where Mary never died. Dean's in a stable relationship, Sam and Jess are engaged, everything seems perfect til the cracks start showing (because of course they do). Sam and Dean aren't close, Dean's had some...problems (unspecified), and everyone (quite rightly) keeps looking at Dean like he's gone off the deep end because he has so little memory of this reality. And in the end, Dean has to choose to go back to REAL reality but he can only do that by trying to die within the dream......

"Been On My Mind...": I mean, it's at least implied that alternate universe Dean has slept with alternate universe Dean's girlfriend

"The Impossible Planet"

Omg, right off the bat, they're so cute. Ten and Rose LOVE getting into ALL the trouble together (which...good, they're gonna get all the trouble in this episode and the next)

I can't imagine how terrifying (but exciting) it must be for the Doctor to encounter something that predates the TIME lords

I forgot all the genuinely funny miscommunications between the Ood and our protagonists "We must feed. We must feed. We must feed." But they mean "we must feed our guests something yummy!!" The scariest rendition of Be Our Guest.

The thing about this one (two, really) is that usually it's the Doctor going "okay, but it's real" when people tell him whatever they're doing is impossible. Now, the Doctor is just repeating how impossible this is and the science officer's just "This lump of rock is suspended in perpetual geostationary orbit around that black hole without falling in. Discuss." It's....it's kinda hot.

Not saying that astronauts can't be hot (they are just by job title alone)...but just about everyone on this ship? station? is like...REALLY PRETTY. I'm just saying because there have been so many episodes with people who just look like people, not models.

UUUGGGGHHHHH the way Ten looks at Rose when she jokes that Toby is the station's Chief Dramatist. He knows it's not the right time to actually laugh because lore is being dropped but he wants to, he's really really proud of her.

Also the way the Doctor is so in love with humans because of our natural curiosity just like he has is heartwarming.

Why'd the guy the devil is trying to tempt have to be named Toby? There's little funnier than a disembodied, sinister voice whispering "Toby." You know what it's like? There's a bit that the McElroys did REALLY early on with the name Jeffrey...it's like that bit. Because this voice just keeps saying "Toby" before and/or after most sentences. Toby. Don't turn around, Toby. Toby, I'm right behind you. I'm reaching out, Toby.

Uh oh, you're fucked, now, TOBY

I love these moments when the crew is slowly realizing they're in a sort of horror movie. Sure they've been dealing with The Horrors, but not on THIS level.

I know I joked about this not being a particularly romantic set of episodes, but between the flirting at the beginning, the look the Doctor gave Rose, and talking about a future (which would apparently include a mortgage) together...it's not NOT romantic.

This poor acting captain.

For a being who's been all around time and space and who probably at one point met JRR Tolkien, the Doctor sure doesn't recognize what happens when you dig too deep. Do you want Balrogs? This is how you get Balrogs.

[naamahdarling]

Hey, friend.  I've been there.  And it's HARD.  It SUCKS.  It hurts.  It strikes right at the core of you, it gnaws at you, it makes you feel hopeless and ashamed.  I mean, it's basically just . . . having hope yanked away from you.  I get it.  I was there.  I wanted to die.

But like. . . .

The important shit in life does not depend on us not being fat.

Not happiness, not the love you receive from other people.

Shit, happiness isn't guaranteed to thin people.  A lot of thin people I know are fucking miserable, and a good chunk of that comes from worrying about their weight.

Like, I'm not gonna lie, there are things about being thin (or thinnISH) that are more convenient.  That are nice.  There are distinct and very real advantages, and being fat demands a lot of us in terms of self-advocacy.  That’s not our fault for being fat, that’s not us doing something wrong.  It’s society being stacked against us, hating us and trying to hate us into hating ourselves, and that kind of horseshit is not something any human being should ever have to knuckle under to, for any reason.

The acceptance people get from being thin is conditional, and I think you probably already understand how conditional things fucking suck.  They rely on your obedience.  You are being judged even if you are thin.  It’s just that, if you are thin, you’re passing that judgment.  Those people?  They are still being judgmental.  Those stores that don’t carry plus sizes?  Still fucking wrong not to do so.  Those doctors that make unreasonable demands and say awful things and give awful care?  Still appalling, still wrong, possibly wrong about other important things.

The privileges thin people get are conditional on being thin.  Those judgy pricks are still assholes.  They aren’t actually treating thin people well.  They are only refraining from treating them badly.

Frankly, I’d just as soon fucking know if someone is a fatphobic bigot so I don’t make the mistake of being friendly with them or trusting them.

Look, I don’t know the particulars of why you feel how you do.  What the hardest part is for you.  I don’t know what makes you feel sick to your stomach in the dead of night, what makes you cringe, what in particular makes you feel inadequate and makes you hate your body.

All I know is that I still wrestle with it some days, but overall?  Overall I am so much happier than I was when I was thinner.  I am treated just as well by people who actually matter.  My friends love me just the same.  I’m still cute.  I have an amazing girlfriend who loves my body . . . and she’s fat, and gosh I love hers.

I get it.  It does feel like a curse when you first realize the truth.  Not gonna lie, it hurts me sometimes still.  For me, the hard part is that the chunkier I get, the further I get from the body type that makes me feel slightly less dysphoric about my gender identity.  There’s intersecting capital-I-Issues at work for me.  It’s not simple.  It is probably not simple for you either.  This shit never is.

I respect that.  But @bigfatscience is right.  That’s no way to talk to yourself.

It takes time.  It takes time to dismantle all that shit and come to some sort of equilibrium.

And ultimately, it’s better for you.  Psychologically. Also physically.  Repeated dieting, disordered eating, it leads to real health problems down the line, and doesn’t actually stave off other health issues in the long run.  The best you can do, if you can manage it, is to eat healthy food and move around in a way that feels good to you and take care of your body (though even that is not actually required of you for you to be worthy of respect).

And it’s better for your relationships with other people.

So, like, mourn for what you can’t have?  That’s fine.  But understand, or try to, that this isn’t the end of all hope.  It’s the end of hope for a life you were never going to be able to maintain, and the beginning of hope for a life that is ultimately kinder, healthier, more genuine, and honestly more enjoyable.  

It took a year or so for me to get a grip.  Took a few more for it to really sort itself out and leave me be.  It was some of the hardest work I’ve ever had to do, because when I started I had an actual eating disorder and fighting past that was . . . wow.  That was rough.  But I did it because . . . well . . . I did the research, realized what I wanted wasn’t possible, and realized, here’s this awful truth that’s just ruined my life, and I can either:

A) keep trying and get even sicker, 

B) stop trying and just be angry and bitter about it forever and probably also remain judgy of other fat people too, or 

C) do this hard work now, work on getting better now, even if it’s the last thing I want to do, so that in the future I can be happy.  

I did B for a while, but that was tiring and frankly . . . frankly it made me a boring person, although not quite as boring as I was when literally all of my energy was going toward trying not to be fat.

So I did C.  I am still doing C.  Because it was the only choice that offered me a future in which I did not loathe myself with the fury of a thousand suns.  And that is worth it.

(I also realized I was doing the bullies’ work for them, and I have no interest in doing that, so.)

I want this for you.  I want a future for you in which you are able to live with your body the way it is, without wanting to punish it or change it.  I’m not even going to tell you to love your body.  I don’t really love mine.  I think neutrality is a completely acceptable goal.  I certainly hope you can learn to love it, but I’m not going to tell you it’s required, because that’s a really high hurdle to expect people to jump.  You can be happy without flat-out loving your body.  You can.

Right now you clearly have a lot of pain and frustration and sadness, and I don’t blame you for that.

And whether you try to be thin, or try to come to peace with your body the way it is, you honestly do have a lot of work ahead of you.

It’s just . . . one trail involves you running as hard and as fast as you can just to hold your ground.  You either do that for the rest of your life which is a miserable and hideous state of affairs way worse than being fat forever, or you eventually give up on it and try the other way instead.  

The other trail ends with you in a better place much sooner.  And I want that for you.

You don’t have to be unhappy with yourself forever.  It doesn’t have to hurt like it does now.

There’s another way.

It’ll take time, and work, but . . . you were going to be working anyway.  It’s better to try to learn to love yourself, even a little, than to show your own body the kind of conditional love I talked about up there.  That’s not love at all..

IDK, friend, I am just rambling and you are a stranger, but I care about you and I want better for you.  But I can’t give it to you.  Only you can give it to you.  I really think it’s worth trying to learn to do that.  And I’ve never seen someone who did try wind up unhappier than they were.

so basically im cursed to remain fat forever? jesus christ i did not need to hear that today.

There is no permanent and safe way to intentionally lose weight. This is true.  

And that means that if you want to truly live a fulfilling and meaningful life, you will need to let go of the fantasy of being thin. You will need to do the difficult self-work needed to unlearn your internalized fat phobia. You may also need to learn how to eat normally without restriction and shame. All of this is difficult. But a lifetime of self-hate, restriction, repeated cycles of weight gains and weight losses, and declining health from the damage caused by under-nourishing your body is far far worse. 

And I know you are in pain right now, so I am being gentle with you, but I need you to think about what you said in your ask, and think about who you said it to. I am fat and my life is not a cursed existence. It is never okay to say such hateful things about fat people, including yourself. Don’t do it anymore.