#for my fellow awkward people scared of talking: don't give up. one day this might be you

[timove]

If me from a year ago saw me now she wouldn't believe I'm actually her.

[nkogneatho]

ENEMIES TO LOVERS + KYOUTANI KENTAROU (f!reader)

Requests are open. Prompt list here.

Requested by @satisfactory-simp

A/n: Hello. I am really sorry this took so long. My tumblr was glitching so I am unable to answer and my drafts won't save. Anyways, here you go. I hope you like it.💕

Disclaimer: I do not own the character, the character in this 18+.

Warnings: Smut, Angsty.

Life basically sucked. You barely had any friends, not so comfortable with your family, and plus just took admission in a new school. Seijoh was known for elites. You thought it'd be nice to have decent people around you until your very first encounter was with this horrible person.

"Can't you walk properly? Don't you have eyes?", excuse me? Who is he yelling at? Isn't it his mistake you thought but you really didn't want to get caught in a mess on your very first day at school. You just apologized and left.

When the lecture started, you felt everyone staring at you and mumbling. You look up only to see they were glancing a bit backwards. You turned your head to find the very same guy you met in the corridor covered in bruises. What the hell?

"Got a problem with me? Is there anything on my face", shit. You stared at him for too long.

Yes there is. "Um no nothing, sorry" wait why am I apologizing? Did he get bullied. Judging from his posture and attitude doesn't look it. He seems like the one who bullies other. You really didn't like him or anything about him. He was the same. You were just classmates nothing more than that but still whenever you saw each other, there was this hatred. Maybe it was because you both always encounter each other on the wrong time.

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One day, after the lecture you went to explore the school and it's well known volleyball players. You found the practice hall empty and locked. Maybe it's there day off. You heard a continuous loud sound arithmetically. You saw Mad dog practicing his serves. Balls hitting the ground so hard that you were sure they were gonna bursts. A girl approaches him. They were arguing. Is she his girlfriend? Well sure it was none of your business but since you had nothing to do, you stayed to watch.

"Mad dog. I am trying so hard to make you go out with me"

"Didn't I tell you I am busy. I don't have time to go for dates", he clearly wanted to make her go but she seemed to hung up on him.

"But-"

"No buts. I told you. It's my decision. Now scram", he glared at her. She walked away with a frown.

Later when you arrived in your class you saw it was pretty crowdy.

"I am telling you, he purposely held my hand and slapped me", the girl cried. It was the same girl who was asking him out on the ground.

"Stop lying you bitch", Kyoutani's rage was clearly visible.

"Look at him using such words at her. I am pretty sure he did it.", people around started talking about him but they were wrong. You were there when that happened. You clearly saw the whole thing and none of this shit occurred.

"She is lying.", you spoke up. "I was there. I went to explore the volleyball club but then I saw her asking him out. Kyoutani didn't do anything. He just told her to fuck off.", Kyoutani's eyes widened at you. Never in his life anyone ever trusted him. It's that when he fell for you. He did ask you to date him later but you denied saying "I was just helping a fellow classmate. That's no reason for you to want to date me" . He was still not giving up.

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One evening, he saw you on a date with someone else. That's it. That was enough to break his heart. He couldn't take it so he approached you disturbing your dinner with the person.

"Hey. We still have to complete that project", his eyes hooked on your date, glancing them.

"Can't you see I am between a conversation and this is my private time?", you frowned.

"I don't care. We have to complete it. I don't want to fail because of you", you were sure he was just making an excuse.

"Fail? Since when do you care about studies so much?"

"Since I wanted to pass", a fake smile on his face.

You both started arguing and were so involved in each other that you forgot about your date. When you turned your head to glance at them but they had left.

Kyoutani noticed that and walked out of the diner with a 'plan successful' look on his face.

You paid the bill and followed him outside. You gripped his arms and swayed it to make him face you.

"What?", he asked.

"What the fuck do you mean what? Wasn't it you who just ruined my dinner with them?", rage flowed your mind.

"Who cares?"

"I don't get you Kyoutani. Why did you do that? Why do you always behave like this with me?"

"Because I am in love with you, you dumbass. And I know you think, I just wanted to date you as a return for your favor for saving my ass but no. I can't help but think about you. And it fucking hurts to see you with someone else when you don't even know how I genuinely feel", he tried so hard not to cry then and there.

To be honest, yes you were a bit of an ass to him. You weren't different from those people cause even you judged him the first time you saw him. The reason you have always avoided him is maybe you were scared he might be a violent person. But now? Now after watching him like this? After knowing that he is actually a soft person and people just test him? You couldn't help but shed tears knowing how bad he must've been hurt. Overthinking about it will only ruin the moment. Your mind was a mess at that time. All you knew that if you let this chance slip, you will surely regret it. Without a second thought you gripped his collar and placed a deep kiss on his lips. You swayed away, both standing in confusion. "I-I am really sorry. I-I didn't k-know what happ-", he interrupted your stuttering latching his lips on yours. You held the hem of his jacket like holding on your feelings for him. It wasn't clear what you guys were doing at this point. What was your relation? But none of you could deny the fact that it was surprisingly comfortable.

"Can we go at my place?", you pulled away to catch a breath as you asked him. Awed at your question but he still assured that you were okay. "Are you sure?"

"Yes", eyes closed as you placed a kiss on his cheek.

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You invited him in, keys jingling as you threw them on the counter. "You wanna eat something?", you asked searching for beverages in the fridge.

"Yeah, you.", your cheeks reddened at his words.

"Obviously I'm kidding", he approached you as he didn't wanna make things awkward but now you couldn't get the thought out of your head. The thought of how would Kyoutani look settled between your legs.

"I mean, you can if you want to.", honestly? Even you were kinda stunned at your own statement. His legs advanced towards you, arms practically caging your sides. Face rigorously close to yours. If you both kissed now, you knew things just won't stop there.

Eyes wandering on each others lips before grabbing them, the space between you to closing in as you inhaled and dwelled in his softness. Wodering despite how rough he looks, he is nothing but a delicate person.

His big arms picked you up and carried you to the couch in the hall.

"Are you sure the door's locked?", and that was the confirmation that you won't just end it on a kiss tonight.

"Yeah", he lifted up your skirt to find your thighs rubbing together in embarrassment but that was the heat between your legs. You slowly started spreading them, a part of you hesitating because of how wet he made you with just some kisses. Kyoutani's eyes perked up at the view in front of him. The wet spot on your panties were clearly visible and so some of your juices flowing from the hem of it through your inner thighs. I swear he gulped down his breath at just how sexy you looked like this. He gave you a glace for consent and you nodded. Without further ado, he licked the wetness on your inner thighs then following your sex. His first lick had you squirming because of the temperature difference. "You taste so good", tongue only left your pussy once just to compliment you.

"It's kind of-- embarrassing", you bit your finger that made him turn on even more. You peeked at the tent growing in his pants. "Kyoutani. I want you inside me", he legitimately slapped himself. "What are you doing?", you asked.

"Just making sure it's not a dream", you wrapped your hand around his neck pulling him in. "No, it's not a dream. This is for real. We are for real Kyoutani". "I love the way you call me Kyoutani unlike everyone else. Only you have the right"

"Oh you'll love it even more when I'll call you daddy", bitch don't you have shame? Is what you were screeching inside but who cares?

He didn't know he had that kink until you said it. "Where's the bedroom?", a question without a second thought.

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He placed you on the bed delicately. You both started stripping, making sure there's nothing bothersome between when your skins touch.

Your thighs rubbed against each other the second you saw his big and thick length.

You helped him put on a condomn and then lied back with your legs apart, perhaps an invitation to just put it in.

Kyoutani gently slid his dick in your sloppy wet cunt. You hissed at the thick length stretching you out. "Is it hurting? Should I stop?". "No. Please keep going.", it did hurt a little but you were so greedy for that feeling.

He made sure to move subtly. He doesn't want to cause his love pain. Once your pussy got adjusted to it, he started thrusting. Dick reaching places, no one ever did. "Call me daddy again", you were smiling internally learning how you got him this hard. "Please fuck me Daddy. I want you", these words were enough to make him go harder as he gripped your hips. "Ahh ahh-- Kyoutani Ahh", you couldn't hold your moans at this point. It took just one deep thrust for you to come undone. Walls clenching around his dick your hands did the same to the bedsheets. Seeing you like this, the girl he fell in love with was a very unknown feeling as he never fell for anyone before.

He couldn't hold it back in. He shoved it a few more times as he reached his own high. He dropped himself on top you, elbow digging deep in the mattress as his upper body balanced on it. Eyes making sure to never yours which were half-lided from the overwhelming heat after a long time.

"You know, it really ached when you ignored me before. But now here we are. Still can't believe this happened"

"I ignored you because I was scared that I might catch feelings and it won't go the way I want to", yes, you were honestly scared.

"So what changed your mind?", the curiosity stucked in his mind.

"The fact that someone was willing to give their heart to me was enough to make me fall for you at that confession. I love you Kyoutani", now that you discovered him, even your feelings became clear.

"I love you too", he cooed with a smile.

Turns out all of that wasn't the hatred but denial of the fact that deep down, you both were meant to be but just the circumstances weren't coping up with you two.

©All the wrting contents belongs to nkogneatho 2021, do not repost.

[theredsuzuran]

Douma x reader - Innocence

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Took me a long time to upload a new content am so sorry for the delay I was really busy with school assignments therefore I cannot manage the time to write. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors on my behalf, I hope you enjoy.

Warning : Dark themes like gore, blood and violence, degradation and swearing, mature content.

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The moon shone brightly above the sky as it's light leak through the branches illuminating the famous building of the eternal paradise cult. A new set of followers rushed into the dwelling in hopes of fulfilling their selfish desires, diminishing their agonies and enriching their possessions. However a particular human with her tattered kimono seem not to be interested to convey anything although the people around her would die to witness even a glimpse of the charismatic leader as for now she was busy running along the wide long corridors

The sound of thumping footsteps echoed throughout the building as a herd of followers attempted on catching the miscreant who disrupted the peaceful atmosphere prevailing over the supreme cult. The already annoyed and frustrated people were all worked up to catch the energetic human who on the other hand have thoughts of escaping this place they called paradise. If only she was careful enough to notice her mother's strange behavior soon as they entered the place but how can you possibly blame an innocent little girl like her, or so she thought. Afraid she might lose sight of her treacherous mother who abandoned her just moments ago she desparety stumbled her way out although that didn't concerned her simple thinking process but that's exactly how complicated the situation was.

Turning one last time to look behind if those weird people were still following her or not when suddenly she bumped into a Tall muscular figure standing infront of her soft delicate frame she must have missed him approaching while focusing on looking behind. "Please just leave me alone!" The girl fumed coherently still overwhelmed by the amount of people rushing towards her like waves something that she was not accustomed with as for eighteen years she lived indoors interacting rarely with anyone and playing with dolls most of the time.

"Watch your tongue brat" one of the men standing beside the tall man spoke with disgust hinted in his voice. "Crouch down you insolent woman, where's your gratitude it's because of lord Douma's benevolence that you are still here or you'd be rotting in the street thanks to your mother", the people around her started whispering and murmuring behind her back but she was not bother since her senses were filled with newfound wrath how dare they insult your angel like mother? No longer able to contain your anger you shouted with tears "Then take me to my mother, I don't want to stay here alone".

"Your mother abandoned you here so shut up and deal with it, now move your way for master" the man grunted irritatedly motioning the other followers to grab her and take her away.

"No don't touch me" she wiggled under their grip rushing towards douma blocking him from entering the room by grabbing his arm tightly "I am not going anywhere until I know where my mother is" she cried loudly making the demon flinch with surprise, how pitiful the creature looked in his polychromatic eyes. He have seen many humans crying before him for obvious reasons which honestly have become his monotonous routine but somehow this girl acted quite weird being her age, interesting him enough to investigate. As he was about to speak the man beside him pushed the girl hashly making her lose her balance and fall on the wooden floor.

"How dare you touch master with your filthy hands bitch" he lift his hand to slap her tight in the face but someone grabbed his wrist just in time to save the girl from further humiliation.

"Silence" all the questioning glances, judging looks and whispering stopped at once as douma spoke nonchalantly making the latter shiver in regret.

"I am sorry douma sama" the man uttered in pure horror having no intentions to displease his beloved lord. "I was-"

"I don't want to see that happen again, understood?" He replied coldly still maintaining his wide smile as the previous chaos shifted into complete hush. The man lowered his head down with shame nodding silently. Douma averted his attention and glanced at the figure underneath making the girl jolt a bit but his once frightening demeanor changed into a cheerful and optimistic one in matter of second upon seeing her.

"Please take her to my chamber and treat her wounds" the man clapped with a wide grin plastered on his face. A group of female servants came rushing to help picking her up. The girl being too bewildered did not protested and simply follow his tone as if she was hypnotized by his neatly decorated persona.

The girl was immediately taken away without delay and as per douma he needed to attend his cult duties. First of all she was washed and changed into a beautiful kimono as soon as she stepped inside, then she was escorted into a room filled with antiques and lavish items which she have never seen. Her face lit up with fascination as she began venturing those decorative pieces.

"Looks like you have ease down a bit, good good" A familiar tone struck in her ears startling her a bit only to turn back and view the handsome cult leader although it was a bit strange because she did not heard anyone approaching.

"Aww did I scared you?" He laughed covering his face with golden fans.

"No I was just- you came in without a warning, I was taken aback" she explained blushing trying her best not to act immature to which douma laughed uncontrollably as he found this human's expression adorable say entertaining in his words.

"D-dont laugh at me" she pouted crossing her arms in the attempt.

"I am sorry (y/n), you really amuse me" he replied still grinning. However there was a moment of awkward silence between them as he uttered her name abruptly.

"I didn't tell you my name.." after a long pause she replied to him with a confuse look in her face.

"I know everyone's name who are living under my supervision including yours besides what kind of cult leader I am if I don't have basic information about my fellow followers. Oh look I have been talking to you without giving the chance to let you talk my bad" he laughed again waving his fans creating another awkward situation. Causing you to sweatdrop on his remark.

"Say (y/n) how old are you?" to which she replied enthusiastically "I am 8 years old and will turn 9 soon"

"Ah you don't look like one" douma grinned closing his eyes in the process.

"Yeah I get that a lot" she remarked shyly.

"Your mother is one of my followers" he continued

"Really?" her eyes sparked with hope as she approached douma with anticipation grabbing his arms for the second time starling him, she really like holding hands eh? he have experiences like that but somehow this girl made him feel different so he allowed her but then she stopped halfway through her words "I really miss her it's been a week since she left me here" her voice dropped with sadness.

Douma felt no sympathy for humans or anything as such, he have learned to fake his emotions from a very tender age eversince he was born to the extent that even seeing his mother killing her husband mercilessly failed to evoke feelings within. He clearly did not understand what she was feeling he just stared at her with a blank expression only to replace it quickly with a grim look even faking few tears. "(Y/n) chan you know its okay you will still have me" he patted the girl in an attempt to comfort her.

"Friends?" (Y/n) replied between her tears.

"If that's how you want us to be" douma smiled at her gently shocking himself for a second because he didn't think of smiling?

Things escalated soon after that incident, (y/n) was a kind and compassionate person from inside and out and in not time the cult followers started loving her presence. As often douma would let her accompany him and most of the time she stayed by his side following him everywhere and he didn't mind that at all moreover he appreciated her company. (Y/n) was like a fresh bud to him who depicted innocence and purity he loved spoiling her with expensive gifts yet she never showed signs of greediness and genuinely appreciated his thoughtfulness slowly forgetting the past life she was in and cherishing her friendship with douma. At first she was reluctant and didn't like getting so much attention but in the course of time she bonded better with everyone and was quite content with the life she was leading. As for douma he began to depend on (y/n) to the point that not seeing her face for even one day would make him go insane and he didn't understand why not like he want to because all he cared about was how she made him feel so many varieties of pleasant emotions he wish he could feel. Eating her was out of context.

However all good things must come to an end for he is someone to not rest in peace after the sin he have committed for centuries. Seeing douma paying her more attention, spoiling her with a ravish lifestyle and even letting her stay by his side all the time made some of his cult members terribly envious they wanted to punish her for taking their chances of stealing the spotlight. There was this one room that he forbade his followers to enter for obvious reasons and specifically for (y/n) because he didn't want to repeat the same mistake. This was exactly what they wanted (y/n) to do break the rules and Douma's trust. Like that there would be no more favouritism on her with others.

"Ah (y/n), there you are" one of the female member approached her one fine morning.

"Yes how may I help you?" She asked cheerfully

"Lord douma have asked for your presence in the forbidden room tonight and he said its urgent"

"Aren't we all prohibited to go inside"

"Oh (y/n) it's true master have arrived today and he wants your presence"

Upon hearing that news her heart elated with happiness, it has been two weeks since he last saw douma around and she missed him but something felt off about the whole situation douma always sees (y/n) first before tending his followers then why did he not come meet her did he not miss her like she did?

She was lost in her thoughts until she found two hands waving and snapping infort of her face.

"Don't be late, okay?" With that said the female hurried back into other room leaving (y/n) behind even though the situation seem kinda odd maybe douma was busy afterall.

At night (y/n) went into the restricted area. She stood infront of the shoji door in absolute dilemma debating whether or not to enter the room or go back. There was her desire of meeting douma on one hand and not breaking his trust by entering the room on the other. In the end she decided not to but as she was turning back she heard someone grunting in pain behind the closed doors being a compassionate person, she decided to open the door and enter into the darkness adjusting her eyes in the process, a pungent smell hit her nostrils making her cover her mouth and to her absolute terror the scene infront of her made her puke in disgust.

A pile of Mutilated bodies, mostly women laid around lifelessly on the blood stained tatami mattress. Many having no limbs, some headless and organs missing from their body as if someone had ate all of that. The whole room was a mess full of unfortunate people. She felt sick and began crawling down her way back from the corpses. However she felt a tight grip on her left foot upon looking down she witness the sight of a woman her intestines oozing out of her stomach begging for help. (Y/n) stood there perplexed unable to say anything chocking through tears.

"I told you not to come here, why?" (Y/n) turned her head violently to see douma standing in a distance his countenance cold and sinister evident that he was highly displeased upon seeing his innocent flower disobeying his instructions.

"It's not... like... what you see" (y/n) cried fearfully but douma didn't seem to buy it well in a blink of an eye she found herself in Douma's arms as he aggressively dragged her out of the room.

"What's going on douma" no word came out from the usual lively douma.

"It's hurting me your grip" no reply again to which she forcefully tried to stand still with all her strength. This time douma stopped his features hidden under his bangs making her unable to figure the expression he was carrying.

"Is this why douma forbade us to enter the room" no reply

"Are you responsible for murdering those innocent people?" No reply

"DOUMA" she shouted

"Why you want to join them?" Douma finally looked at her his eyes glowing dangerously proving his existence to be something unnatural. (Y/n's) eyes widen at his remarks as tears rolled down her visage.

"I hate you.." she murmured

"What?" He tilted his head letting his guard down a bit at her hurtful comments.

"I HATE YOU" she pushed douma roughly and flew from the place running deep into the forest for she knew who he was and what he is capable of doing. Tearing down she constantly reminisce the moments she shared but she cannot allow herself to sympathize his heinous crimes. Why is it that the people I love are always taken away from me? She thought. Exhausted from running she halted in order to catch her breath while glancing back to see if he was following, there was no one indeed so a sudden feeling of relief gushed in her body. However turning her head back she saw him standing inches apart from her face which made her shiver and fall onto the knees.

"Why are you running away from me (y/n)" he said apatheticly his head lowered at her level. She did not reply and stayed quite.

"Is it true that you don't love me after all the things I did for you?" Covering his face with one hand his eyes glowing under the moonlight a look of dejection written on his face. There was complete silence in the forest except the sound of rustling trees.

"Answer me" holding her face now firmly he growled making her flinch under his breath. In one last desperate attempt (y/n) tried to stab douma with a tree branch she found laying on the ground but unfortunately douma was faster and easily dodged the attack and in a swift motion he hit her with immense strength causing her fragile little body to tremble in pain as she coughed mucus mixed with blood.

"How foolish of you" he crouched down her height staring intensely at the quivering figure of the miserable girl. As for (y/n) her body ached but more was the tightness in the chest that she was experiencing in the moment.

He pulled her by the hair roughly making her scream in pain although at this point all she could manage with her cracking voice were inaudible screams.

"Why did you disobey me? (Y/n)..." who knew beneath that friendly kind face was hiding a undeniably deadly and calculative demon and at this point it was clear for her that he was anything but human.

"Who are you?" these few words manage to escape from her shaky lips in between low grunts.

"I am the leader of the eternal paradise cult"

"Wrong" to which he tightened his grip making her shriek again.

"You humans are so dumb believing in the existence of primordial deities where in reality its just a myth, a fairytale, created for pleasuring the sufferings of mere human. Being superior than you mortals I wanted to make these pitiful existence happy and that's why I was born and what you saw there" his lips curved into a cheeky smile revealing his deadly fangs creeping the shit out of the already scared girl. "I eat them so that they can always be with me and attain salvation" a sinister laughter escape from his mouth as he covered it with his golden fans. (Y/n) unable to process the new sets of information knots formed in her stomach making her sick in the guts.

"I ate your mother too, oh she was ungrateful after all the things I did to her just like you" protruding her eyes with pure shock she felt her veins popping out and blood boiling in pure rage.

"You are a monster, you think your stupid morals would persuade people to think like you do, I despise you douma I thought we were friends and you took away the one I cherished the most?"

"You think your mother loved you?" Douma snapped. The duality of this was man was insane, all the things he does or says are plastic.

"She never cared for your life, you want to know why? I will tell you since you insist" douma dragged her out of forest holding a fistful of her hair tightly inflicting great discomfort to the girl while he continued with his harsh statements and deliberate insults.

"You were just a burden, behaving like a fucking child with the alluring body of yours"

"No my mother promised me..she would protect me.. you are lying"

"While you were crying everyday inside my shrine that lowly woman enjoyed her life indulging in adultery with various cult members leaving her sick husband and mentally retarded daughter in the dark" every word he uttered spread vemon into her ears.

"Still she wanted more and more and more, what a greedy whore" douma continued.

"Do you know how much difficult it was for me to control myself around you? While you sway your hips and act innocently making those hungry men lust over you, how much dumb can you be?"

"What do you mean I don't understand.. douma"

"I did everything I can for you yet you remain ungrateful, disrespectful? Well guess its runs in your blood and I thought you are innocent but it turns out that you are just like the rest of them, naive"

Her eyes widened with every hurtful remarks he made about her and she did not understand why she felt that way shouldn't she be resentful towards him for killing her beloved mother but here she is weeping constantly because douma was treating her like he never did before.

"But that's fine (y/n) I can not bring myself to hurt you I love you and we shall always be together whether you like it or not" nothing reached in her ears anymore as her body grew numb. Her eyes shut as she carried the unbearable pain in her heart slowly loosing consciousness and remaining sanity.

It would have been easier if she died but alas a mere human like her is doomed at his mercy.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Why? - F.W. (part one)

A/n: So I was on a marathon with my family and we got to that part in the last movie where Pansie was all "get him!" after Voldemort said to give Harry up and then ALL the Slytherins got punished so I started thinking about how it could have gone differently and this happened and y'all once I thought it out so perfectly I HAD to write it. For my fellow Green and Silvers.

Word Count: 5300+

MASTERLIST

I didn't like them from the get-go. The Weasley twins. My first day, when I was so excited I just about glowed, sitting on that sorting stool to get sorted. When I got the house I had crossed my fingers for because I had heard all about Hogwarts and had analyzed myself and predicted where I might go and had been RIGHT- and I loved to be right. When I was at my highest, having my golden moment, grinning like a child on Christmas and not noticing until later as the other first years were confused by the innocent, friendly, kind little girl they'd thought would be Hufflepuff being Slytherin. When I was still unaware of how Hogwarts worked and what it meant to be in Slytherin house, they made sure I knew.

As I made my way to the table at the end with the cheering kids in silver and green, I heard them. I heard them booing. I froze in my tracks, not down the first step yet, where everyone could see me. My face was wiped of my smile and my face had gone pale- I could feel it in the rushing feeling in my head. I slowly turned to look where it was coming from. The Gryffindor table. Two red-headed twins were grinning ear to ear as they screamed "BOOOOO!" on the top of their lungs, shaking their head and nudging each other like it was some grand joke. One of the twins - they MUST have been twins - caught my eye and his smile faded. He looked guilty. Good.

My sadness and discomfort and crushed happiness turned to anger, my face heating up. There was a hand on my back and I turned to see McGonagall. She gave me a pitying look before I turned away and finished my walk to my table, chin held high and back straight, my hands curled into fists at my side. I was angry.

When the sorting went through - my frozen moment of devastation was overshadowed and forgotten when Harry Potter of all people was sorted and went into Gryffindor - and the feast started, I turned to one of my table mates. "When I came down, there were these Gryffindors... booing me."

The girl, who had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes, was a bit older than me. Her expression darkened and she seemed to age far too many years. "One thing you have to get straight. In this school, we're not Hogwarts. Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors are Hogwarts." She glared at her food. "They think we're evil. All of us."

The word sent a wave of shock through my system. "Evil?" My voice was too light- I couldn't get any power behind my words. It was all air.

The girl placed a hand on my shoulder, her face sad and softer than before. "Don't worry, you'll have the rest of us, okay? And it's not so bad. Wait until you see the common room. Just ignore the other houses- it's better that way."

The rest of the meal I was fine. It was when I got tripped in the hallway on my way to the dorms that I finally lost it, only able to keep it together long enough to get into the rooms before I began crying. One of the other girls ran to get someone older and before long a brunette girl with green eyes came, pulling me into her chest and rubbing my back. "I'm not evil," I sobbed.

"I know," she soothes me. "They're all just arseholes, don't mind them."

So I didn't. Her words made me feel a lot better, but her actions were what soothed me. She was gentle and kind, considerate and soft. If she was a Slytherin then being a Slytherin wasn't bad and that was that. I made a vow after that night: I'd never let other kids' gossip and bull crap affect me. I would let it upset me again, let alone cry. I would NEVER cry over other peoples’ opinions. Not these peoples'. You know what, not anyone else's either.

I kept that vow, too.

My first potion's class was with Harry Potter himself. He was sitting next to a girl with bushy brown hair that I think made her look bigger- like a peacock uses its colorful feathers. I think it suited her. Professor Snape, the one teaching potions, was shooting question after question at Harry, ignoring the girl next to him as desperation crossed her face, her hand as high in the air as she could get it, wiggling.

It bugged me. Harry looked incredibly uncomfortable and the girl looked about ready to explode and Snape was being a dick. "Obviously he doesn't know." Snape looked at me sharply. Everyone did. It didn't scare me. "But SHE does. Why don't you ask a question where you want the answer, not just an opportunity to make a first year look like an idiot?"

The room was so silent that no one even dared breathe. Snape's eyes flickered to my tie, his features twisting with disgust when he noticed the green and silver. "Learn how to talk to teachers, or hold your tongue." I glared at him and that seemed to knock him silent for a second. He looked away, moving on, and I let out a soft breath I'd been holding in. I felt eyes on me and I looked over to see Harry and the girl both looking at me. The girl seemed bewildered, but Harry was smiling at me. I gave a small smile back.

Maybe not all Gryffindors were bad.

When I looked back over at my partner to whisper about how I was surprised I didn't get detention with how angry Snape had seemed, the words died on my tongue. My partner, a boy named Blaise, was glaring daggers at me. Even more viciously than Snape. "Who's side are you on?" He sneered at me.

I looked forward again and was quiet for the rest of the class. What did he mean 'who's side'? Weren't we all Hogwarts students? Was the girl who had told me it was Hogwarts versus Slytherins... serious? I was realizing I hadn't really believed her. I figured maybe a lot of people across houses didn't get along but there had to be more friendships than not. I saw twins get sorted into different houses. But I guess neither of them was in Slytherin. Harry didn't seem to hate me... though the girl next to him had seemed like she'd seen a ghost when I'd stood up for him...

I kept my mouth shut for a whole week and a half. Snape didn't much mess with Harry (though he did take opportunities that popped up) as much as he did another Gryffindor. Neville Longbottom. Harry was good at handling himself when Snape got on him. He was a tough kid and seemed generally unbothered, keeping his pride and gave little reaction passed a glare or an eye roll behind Snape's back. Neville, on the other hand, was awkward and sensitive, flinching at everything Snape said. Even if Snape was nearby or shot him a look from across the classroom. It hit every nerve in my body and was grating on every instinct I had.

Then Snape crossed a line. He threatened to hex Neville's road if the boy got the potion wrong. Neville made a pathetic sound that was halfway between a choked sob and a surprised gasp and the Slytherin next to me - Draco Malfoy this time - snickered under his breath.

"You can't do that."

Silence again, like after the first time when I'd stuck up for Harry. Draco leaned away from me as if I was diseased or had turned into a werewolf. "What," Snape asked, dragging the word out. "Did you just say to me?"

I turned around in my chair to meet his eyes, my expression determined and as controlled as his was. "I seriously doubt that Dumbledore would approve of your harming a student's familiar simply because they were confused on a spell. That's not proper punishment, Professor." I spat the last word like it was poison and his eyes narrowed.

"How would you have me handle his lack of talent then, Miss Black?" As he said my last name an emotion flickered across his face that I vaguely recognized. It was the same one that I hadn't taken much notice of my first day but was apparent to me now as I thought back on it. The same look in McGonagall's eyes as she called my name for me to be sorted. It made me nervous. They couldn’t know. Not yet.

"Maybe teach him. Then he'll know how to do it."

Someone gasped. Snape flared. "Well, since I'm so incapable of teaching him, obviously, then you will have to try for me." He took steps toward me and I genuinely felt terrified. "You and Mr. Longbottom will meet in here for detention every day for the next week and during class, you two will be paired up. If he fails, so do you." He leaned forward, flattening the palm of his hand on my desk and leaning down to get in my face. "Do I make myself clear?"

My angry gaze leveled with his and I didn't move back, which he seemed to have not been expecting as he leaned a millimeter back himself. "Crystal." I nearly growled the word. He slowly stood, moving back up the aisle to the front of the classroom. "Resume your potions," he snapped. The room returned to their potions.

After class I was finally free, only to have the back of my robes yanked on as I was dragged into a darker hallway. I choked on the pressure against my neck but was knocked breathless before I could scream once I got my air back as the same person slammed me into the nearest wall. I blinked rapidly to try and re-orient myself as unknowing students passed by. Just as the last one disappeared, the world stopped being confusing and I recognized the faces in front of me. Draco Malfoy and his two brutes- Crabb and Goyle. I hadn't much liked any of them but Draco had been generally friendly with me so they left me alone.

Now there wasn't a chance of friendship in their eyes. Or mercy. "Stop standing up for Gryffindors," Malfoy sneered. I shrunk back into the wall. "Aren't you a Slytherin? Don't you have any pride? Any self-respect? You're making the rest of us look bad."

Gathering my courage, I curled my hands into fists. "I think you're doing that fine on your own," I eased. "Looking bad. A kid is being picked on by a teacher and you're laughing as if it's funny." I scoffed. "You're a coward hiding behind bullies. And I won't stand by and let it happen- I don't care WHO you are."

Crabb was the one holding me against the wall but Draco was the one speaking, and I guess that made him just as powerful because he leaned in my face, unfazed by my words. "One day you're going to regret not keeping your mouth shut."

"And one day you'll regret not having said anything," I shot back. "It will be different, but we will both regret. The difference will be YOU will want to go back and change it. I will not."

"Why you-" Draco began.

He was interrupted. "Let. Her. Go." The four of us looked over to see an older Hufflepuff boy - a Prefect, by the badge on his robes - flanked by two tall, red-headed, identical Gryffindors. I recognized the twins from the sorting ceremony. They were the ones that had booed me. "I think you boys need to step away from the situation and calm down before this gets too ugly.

Draco hesitated before sneering a, "Come on Goyle, Crabb. This isn't worth our time." I felt the grip leave me as they left.

My eyes moved to the three boys who had rescued me. "Thank you," I said to the Hufflepuff. I ignored the twins.

"No problem. You're a first year?" I nodded. "I'm a fourth year. Cedric Diggory."

"Ylva Black," I exchanged. "You can call me Liv."

Cedric smiles, nodding. One of the twins stepped forward, next to him instead of behind. "I'm Fred, this is George. We're Weasleys. Third years." He seemed to be rambling just a bit and sensed how awkward and inorganic it was because he winced, blushing almost as red as his hair. George shot his brother a weird look and Cedric rose an eyebrow, smiling. I was unamused.

"Thanks again." I turned around and walked away.

I didn't talk to them again for quite a while, though I did see Fred in the hall constantly. Don't ask me how I knew it was Fred and not George- I just knew. There was something about the twins that made sense to me. I couldn't name it or make sense of it but it took me one interaction and then I could tell them apart... mostly. Sometimes I noticed one of them and wondered which it was. Not that I was genuinely interested in the twins who were absolute jerks but more, I liked a challenge. No one could figure out the difference. I wanted to be the first.

For a while, it was just me and Neville. We spent every potions class together and as long as he listened to me, I could keep him calm and ignore Snape's antagonizations. The only incident for a while was when the Slytherins and Gryffindors first met to learn how to fly a broom. Draco picked up Neville's Remembrall. Neville had become someone I sought to protect so it had been my instinct to step up for him, and a lot of people looked at me, almost expecting it. But going up against a teacher was different than going against Draco Malfoy, a fellow Slytherin first year. My moment of hesitation allowed Harry an opening.

The rest was my smiling and laughing as Harry put Draco in his place- until McGonagall showed up. Harry tossed me the Remembrall and I nodded, tucking it into my pocket.

At first, I thought all the Slytherins hated me as much as Malfoy, but one morning a Slytherin boy sat next to me and started talking, looping two girls across from us into the conversation. One of the girls wasn't interested but the other was and the three of us held a conversation the whole meal. The boy's name was Samuel Wiseman and the girl was Bertha Grimm. For the most part, I didn't talk to them, but during mealtimes we found each other. Then we began to hang out regularly sometimes too. When I had no one else, I had Bertha (who's name we shortened to 'Beth') and Sam.

After a month of somewhat peace was over, I ran into Cedric again. Some not-so-nice Gryffindors slammed into my shoulder, knocking me, and I nearly face planted. Cedric seemed to appear out of thin air to steady me, his eyes full of concern. "You okay?”

"Yeah," I sighed, glaring back but unable to spot who might have caught my shoulder. I looked back and Cedric, my expression softening. "It's fine, I'm getting used to it."

That seemed to bother him even more. He studied me carefully. "What are you doing later?" I shrugged. "Wanna hang out? I can help you with homework and you can tell me how your first... almost two months now, yeah?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I'd love that. Wanna meet in the library?" He nodded enthusiastically and I grinned for the first time since the sorting ceremony. "Awesome. See you then."

"Watch your back," he called after me. "I really will track down some Gryffindors and skin them if I see they're being too rough with you." I laughed, even though it wasn't really a joke. He was being serious in a light manner because he knew that it was a problem and he was trying to make it clear he wasn't going to tolerate it, even if he didn't want to upset me.

That night I told him everything. I told him about Sam and Beth but also about Crabb, Goyle, Draco, and the two girls who had welcomed and comforted me the first day but who now ignored me, not being hateful but not being friendly either. I told him about my few run in's and shared glances or teeny tiny sort-of-interactions with Harry Potter and how they'd gotten me in trouble. I told him about the twins booing me my first day. How Snape hated me, but Professor Flitwick shot me comforting smiles every once and a while so I was sure he liked me. I told him about the looks McGonagall had been shooting me when she thought I wasn't looking- a lot of really unimportant things I hadn't really thought were bothering me. I told him about how much I was loving Hogwarts despite all the hiccups.

He told me about his life too. About classes and friends and how he wasn't really a Prefect because he was only a fourth year. He'd just been messing around with a friend's badge that another one of his friends - a Gryffindor - had swiped as a joke when George had run up to him and told him that he and Fred have stumbled across some Slytherins who seemed to be ganging up on another student. He told me about some kids he knew in the other houses when I told him that Gryffindors seemed to be everywhere, joking that Gryffindors were the loudest but Hufflepuffs were the most fun. Then he began to tell me about some spells he was learning, quietly teaching me little harmless things to make me laugh. Tripping curses and spells that made bubbles come out of your wand. How to make a small bubble around us that blocked out all sound, or how to put my new levitating spell I’d just learned to hilarious use. He was a lot more trouble than I'd realized- even if he was only doing it to make me laugh.

Eventually we got to homework, where we stayed quiet except when he walked me through things I got hung up on. Mostly we worked on our different projects in comfortable silence.

My other friendships were a lot more casual- more like acquaintanceships. There was never a time when if we stopped talking it didn't feel... awkward. And once we stopped, it was hard to get into it again. With Cedric, it felt like I'd just found my long lost older brother. And he seemed to think the same. "It's late," he told me as I yawned my longest yawn yet. "How about you get to bed?" I turned a mournful look towards him and he returned a gentle smile. "We can do this again if you wish. Maybe regularly? Every Friday or Saturday?” He tilted his head back and forth. I smiled. “But you need sleep."

I sighed, nodding. "Okay, mum."

Cedric rolled his eyes but his smile never faltered. "If I'm going to be in charge of you, I accept big brother only." We looked at each other for a few seconds and then I nodded. Yep, that would do. We parted ways for the night and I headed to sleep.

Life basically passed like that. Cedric and I had a homework-and-chill session every weekend, the day changing based on our week and if we were available. My meals, some classes I spent with Sam and Beth, or how I had detention and potions with Neville. Everyone else pretty much ignored me except Fred Weasley, who would wave at me every time we made eye contact no matter how much I ignored him, and Harry and Ron - Ron was a friend that stuck around Harry and seemed to be all around pretty friendly to those who weren't total dicks - who would shoot me looks. Usually Harry initiatives the distant contact and usually in potions when I scrambled to block Neville from Snape. Little nods, fleeting smiles. The good stuff- casual style. Life stabilized and I was happy with my lot.

Then Halloween happened.

The panic, the troll in the dungeon, me curling into a ball and pressing my forehead to the table and closing my eyes and covering my ears while everyone screamed and tried to run out. Dumbledore calming us down. Going back to the dorm where Beth found me and hugged me, glad I was okay, and Sam was pulled to the boys' dorm by an older brother of his. He'd told us about him once.

After that night, rumors passed around about Harry Potter and the troll, and how 'Ron and Harry' became 'Harry, Ron, and Hermione'. Hermione actually began talking to me, taking the time after class while we moved to our next to ask how the last weekend had been. I told her about my friendship with Cedric Diggory and she told me about her friendship with Harry Potter and we laughed because it sounded like a competition but it wasn't.

When I first talked to Harry, he told me about his upcoming Quidditch game. I promised him I'd come but didn't promise I'd cheer for him and he got me to promise that I would cheer for him if he would give me a reason to. I promised that if it happened then I would.

At the game, I didn't get the chance to cheer for him. My knuckles were white as I gripped a railing, eyes glued to the sky and lips parted in worry. Harry was fine and I was calm until his broom started to jerk, zigzagging through the sky and trying to buck him off. People around me gasped and I appreciated for a moment that they cared. People were wrong- it wasn't Hogwarts against Slytherin. You could see the proof if you looked close enough. Even if they pretended to hate people from other houses, when someone was in danger Slytherins worried too. Even if they wouldn’t admit it.

Thankfully the broom stopped jerking just as I got my wand out and tried to think of something if he fell off. I relaxed, sitting back but leaving my wand out. There wasn't further incident but I was starting to worry about Harry Potter and the luck he had. Or, more accurately, the luck he DIDN’T have.

Other than these little blips of drama, it was just school. After detention ended Neville and I only talked to each other during potions. I did most of the work as he handed me things and read instructions. It was still teamwork enough that Snape couldn't yell at us. Harry and his friends seemed to be getting distracted by something so we didn't talk to each other much and Sam's brother kept trying to separate him from me - I realized it was ME when I saw the two brothers joking with Beth but then the older one, Michael, pull him away when I approached... several times. So Beth and I didn't hang out as much while she hung out with Sam and left me to hang out with Cedric.

Christmas I spent alone.

Most of the people I talked to left and the rest - Harry and Ron specifically - I didn't feel comfortable or close enough to rationalize crashing their Christmas. Cedric sent me a package of chocolates and a Christmas sweater that he'd said would be perfect for me. It totally was. I wondered briefly if he'd had someone make it for me...

I was out in the snow in my new sweater when he found me. Fred Weasley. "Hey."

I turned to face him. I frowned, turning away. "Hello."

He moved next to me. "You're less cool when you hate me."

"You're easy to hate," I replied evenly.

"How do you figure?"

I shot him a dark look. "Why are you here Fred? You obviously don't like Slytherins- you proved that when you BOOED me when I got sorted. So what do you want?"

He seemed to have a lot of emotions going through his head at once. "How did you know I was Fred?"

I looked away. "I don't know." I felt his eyes on me. "I actually don't," I repeated. "I just... I look at you and your brother and I DO."

He nodded, letting it go. "When we saw you in the hallway, with Draco and his dogs, George went and got Cedric but I stayed to watch because we were worried they'd hurt you before we could get someone." I looked over slowly. "What you said to them... it was cool." We didn't talk for a few beats. "I'd like to restart. I'm sorry about the sorting ceremony." I rose an eyebrow. "Seriously.” He shifted, righting his shirt for dramatic effect even though it was fine. “Hi, I'm Fred Weasley." He stuck out his hand to me.

Unable to help myself, I smiled. He was too easy going and positive. His smile was too contagious. So I took his hand, shaking. "Ylva Black." I hesitated then added, "You can call me Liv."

He grinned. "Cool."

The same comfortable quiet I felt with Cedric fell and I knew that despite how we'd started things, I had a new REAL friend and I was okay with that. I guess that was my real Christmas present.

The rest of the year passed without much drama for me until word spread around about Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. My worry for him increased and I wondered if being his friend was a good idea, considering how Hermione and Ron were involved. Quirrell was gone and rumors of a dark power hovering over them had first years shivering with fear.

At the end of the day, Fred and I became really good friends, which lead to me meeting George. It was like how my other acquaintanceships were- not often and loud, but fun. George was nice but it was Fred who joined my weekend study sessions with Cedric.

When Slytherin was lined up for the cup, I felt successful. I'd done my part for the glory of my house, though I did feel bad for the glum looks on a lot of my Gryffindor comrades. Cedric waved at me from across the room in congratulations and I grinned back.

I was tired of getting the carpet torn from under me. I was tired of being sure and set in something and then having it turned on it's head. Alas, Dumbledore had one last surprise. He awarded some last minute points, recognizing Ron and Hermione in their part in helping Harry as well as recognizing Neville for standing up to them. Neville's happy smile and wide eyes as people thumped him on the back sent my heart soaring and I didn't even fell bad when Harry got his extra points and the banners turned from green to red- Gryffindor had won. I was the only Slytherin that clapped and it was short lived. Other Slytherins glared at me and I sunk into my seat.

My house hated me.

The train ride was the highlight of my year, which is probably strange but no less true. I spent most of it writing a letter to my dad... even though I knew I'd never send it. I finished it, closing it up and then just staring at it. I'd written letters before but I knew that I wanted to write one at the end of every year, just to summarize what I'd gone through. I had no one else to talk to... Or so I thought.

"Who'd you write a letter to?"

I looked up, smiling as Cedric sat down across from me. "My dad." He nodded and the paused when my eyes fell to my letter again, my face growing sad. I noticed his curiosity and I cleared my throat. "Why are you sitting with me? Cool Hufflepuff fourth year like you? Don't you have any other friends?"

Cedric busted up laughing. "Okay, rude, first of all. Second of all, I CHOSE to come here because I wanted to say my last goodbye. Have one last conversation." He paused. "And threaten you to write me during the Summer to make sure you do." We both chuckled.

"Yeah, I'll write to you." I looked back to my letter.

"What's that about?" He asked gently, jutting his chin to my face. I suppose he was talking about my expression. "Aren't you going back home? Why send a letter?"

I swallowed. "My dad... isn't at home." He grew quiet, his smile faltering. "I don't think he even knows I exist."

He leaned forward, taking my hand. "I didn't know that I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I shook my head, smiling weakly. "You couldn't hurt a fly if you tried." We both smiled a little stronger. "Fun fact: I'm a loner." My eyes fell to the floor. "My mum sort of didn't want me so she gave me away. I mean... she wanted me at first. But my dad- he isn't a good man. She said I reminded her of him - in a latter, I was just a baby when she left me - so she gave me away. I'm... sort of in an orphanage." I shrugged, looking away. "I figured you should know. Friends know those things about each other right?"

Cedric's expression grew even sadder at my question. "Oh Liv..." he moved next to me, putting an arm around me and pulling me into his side. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I whispered, closing my eyes. He was warm. "I have the greatest big brother." I couldn't see him but I knew that he was smiling by the sound of his little gasp, a little choked up.

I don't remember falling asleep but since he had to wake me up, he must have. "We're almost there. You might want to change out of your robes." I nodded, moving away to do so before returning in my normal clothes. I sat down next to him, snagging my folded up letter to tuck it into my trunk where it wouldn't get ruined. "I'd have to ask my dad for sure, but if he's okay with it... do you want to spend some of your Summer at my house?" I looked up at him, eyes shooting a mile wide. "I don't have a mum either but we’d still have nice su-"

I cut him off when I attacked him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I would love to Ced."

He hugged me back. "I'll make sure it happens then." The rest of the time he told me about what he had planned this Summer and his plan on getting it worked out. When the train stopped I finally noticed that he didn't have his robes on anymore, which made me realized he must have changed when I was asleep. He walked me to his dad, explaining our friendship and asking if I could stay after introducing me. His dad was rather pleasant and seemed excited by the idea of having me over. Now all there was for us to convince the lady at the orphanage... which I promised wouldn't be hard. We moved toward platforms nine and ten where I told them she was waiting for me.

"LIV!" I turned to see Fred jogging up to me. I smiled, catching his ever-contagious grin. "Sorry I just wanted to catch you before you were gone. Write to me will you?"

A weird light filled me. I was THRILLED to have so many people genuinely concerned with keeping in touch. Who would miss me. "Definitely." I paused before holding out my hand. He looked down at it, taking it. But instead of shaking like I'd thought he pulled me closer, hugging me. I was tense at first but then I softened, allowing myself to enjoy the hug. We pulled away as someone called Fred's name, stepping apart. "See you."

"Until next year." Then he turned and walked away. I went back to Cedric and his dad, guiding them to the Muggle train station and to the Head Mistress of the orphanage. This was going to a great Summer, but I was even more excited for my second year of Hogwarts coming up. I had a feeling that some amazing things were about to happen and I couldn't wait.

-

Tag List: @reddie-steddie-go

[chittapornswife]

the way i respond like a week late T_T my asks r literally like packages being sent to u.. delivered in 5+ business days... but i found out my dorm room and roommate!! i haven't talked to her yet since i'm a bit shy but we got put into a good dorm so i'm happy! also i need to set up a placement test for spanish but they alr have me registered for spanish 1 and i might just keep it since it'll be an easier class.... ALSO this week i got my rook, helix, and flat pierced and the rook hurts sm... but it's cute so 😋

also i love our relationship being full of hyping hehe <3333 💓💫he's my prince charming.. i woulda read it <3333 all the corny romance titles were saved in my library because i absolutely LOVVVVEEE fluff!!!! also you were fortunate you didn't get to read the exo one.. even my young tween self was cringing at the plot and ofc in wattpad fics they try to add the most famous idols into the story so i rmbr jackson was like a part of the enemy pack or smthn 😅honestly he needs to get into acting because when super m did those short movie things he looked so good and his acting was so natural?!?!??!?! sm needs to let the wayv boys act bcos ik they would all kill it !!!!!

her 24/7 guard... GODDDDDDD!!! i'm alr waiting for it!! ykno what. sm take notes and make t's fic into a drama 😒literally look at this nctzen and her POWER... her SHEER TALENT FOR WRITING !!!

yangyang's 'a postcard away' is giving angst vibes so i'm looking forward to it as well!! well tbh i'm always looking forward to your writing !! <3

ty!! and imo you did conceal it well!! some nctzens can always like narrow down cb dates and stuff so rly if they found out who's gna be the endgame couple it's just bcos they're detectives 🔍

and honestly i can see all the wayv boys you mentioned!! esp hendery!! i feel like in situations you would help ppl feel comfortable and able to be themselves! i'm also getting some haechan vibes from you!! omg we can be markhyuck <333 chenle for me tho? interesting! i used to see myself as like yuta to be a fellow badass scorpio but everyone is like .... girl no >< + meeting my friend was sooooo fun and it went by sooo quick but it was all natural btwn us and yeah :D i've meet bad online friends too or ppl i've stopped talking to so :( i was rly scared it was going to end up like that with her but i am soooo thankful that we were able to match each other's vibes and not be awkward! honestly worrying abt saying the wrong thing is something i relate to a lottttttttt.. esp w people my age bcos most of them are v black or white w their viewpoints/beliefs and i try to be as neutral as i can (unless it's something like racism where... what is there to discuss if it's good/bad/exists/doesn't????!)

ik i said in the prev ask that i was dense so i mean.. the clueless tip could work for me as well.. it's weird bcos ppl say i'm intimidating so i don't want to scare ppl... esp since i dyed my hair back to my natural dark brown/blackish color .. like when i had highlights i found ppl approached me more so it gave a friendlier look for first impressions T_T sidetrackedness is in our own dictionary 😚👍considering i've been sidetracked a countless amount of times while writing this...

lmk if you like andes!!! also BUBBLEGUM ICE CREAM!?!? woah... idk if you have it in canada but growing up i loooooovvvvveeeeeed blue moon ice cream sm!! also even tho i'm back home.. i'll figure out how to like doordash a milkshake to u in canada brb 🚚🏃🏽 ALSO LITERALLY ME I LOOOOOVVVVEEE CILANTRO AND THE NERVE OF SOME PPL'S TASTEBUDS TO MAKE IT TASTE LIKE SOAP.. i literally would cry if i ever got that tastebud.. cilantro goes good w any dish istg.. (i love garlic shrimp w some cilantro to top it off!)

tbh i think going to college is gna be a shift to how i approach my academics and i'm so worried abt the word limits/due dates/etc but i think i just have to keep a postive mindset !! :D and ofc work hard! i saw this one twt.. or was it a tumblr post.. abt how poc esp woc shouldn't feel imposter syndrome bcos the academic system, esp higher education, is still systematically racist and catering to the white male and since then <3 a lot of the pressure has been lifted off me bcos <333 so tru <3

honestly i think it's awesome how influential ppl can be with their work.. like even random days i would be like "i wonder if the author of dnyl club updated it?" and it gave me strength to reread it as i was stressing abt life.. i really appreciate your stories and your writing <3 and i think it's important that you know you do give entertainment and happiness to a lot of ppl! if i could i would give you like 1343546534 notes for every story/part posted <3

omg omg ok for chocolate recs.. lindt strawberry cheesecake chocolate bar,,,, you HAVE TO try it!!! it's sooooo good!! you can get it from walmart, target, etc!! rose flavored ice cream i have never had but i've seen ppl like mold(?) the icecream to look like a rose and i've always wanted to try it!! also ik you just thanked for the analogy and i'm hyping you up more up there but :D i just wish for my messages to make you happy and to talk to you so !! <333

omg forbidden relationship.. SO TRUUUUUU <3 speaking of relationships i've literally been talking to this cute guy who's also a first yr from my school and <333 kinda hoping he can be my first s/o cuz i swiped up on his story being corny and he had the same energy in his reply!!! but omg on wednesday at like 1am i was talking to my friend and i didn't know if i showed her his ig yet so i was like 'brb i'll send u a ss of his acc' and then as i did that I SENT THE SS TO HIM. i literally unsent so quickly and was like "omg sorry i accidentally sent so i unsent!" AND HE SAW IT LIKE WITHIN A MIN AND HEARTED THE MESSAGE. and i died bcos literally. that man is nvr on social media T_T but the time he is i screw up like that !?!?! luckily it wasn't 1am for him it was like 8pm his time but.. whew... also i hope u and mr glasses can have a relationship too ;)

jisung was born in feb so 8 months would be oct for me!! my birthday's actually halloween :DDD BUT THANK YOU FOR THE BELATED (in actuality early) HBD !!!! 🎂🎉i'm glad you went to bed that night!! omg closer was the inspo for a ten fic.. wow too much sexiness.. if that song was the inspo.. fiancé is one of my faves!!! and his song um... with blue d is my fave by him!! i've been obsessed w doja's album!!!!!! esp been like this and tonight! also pinkpantheress is sooooooo talented i want her to drop a full album alr!!! >< and did you kno victoria monet is bi <3 a win <3333333 but you're so rightttt she should produce some tracks for sm bcos i bet she could make them have more dreamy/mysterious tracks! i hope you enjoyed the recs! i enjoyed seeing how we have similar taste :DDDD

also kinda stalked ur blog and YOU HAVE AN UNPUBLISHED HORROR TARO FIC?!?!?!??! AHHHHHH.. i'm a bit of a sucker for him...... and pixie hollow taeil sounds soooo cute also MONTHLY GIRLS NOZAKI KUN.. KUN... GOSH .. that's literally like my no.3 (or is it 4th,,?) anime!!!!!!!

btw.. the mark fic.. i felt a pit in my stomach when i read "But you didn’t notice the look in his eyes when you began to clean up the in the spacious church room, your typical roles being reversed." i mean the whole fic HURT but that part esp.. wow.. i .. wow.. and the ending .. i whew... also say i'm sorry by afghan played as i read this fic.. and i must say it fits the mood p well!!

i hope you had a great day and that this upcoming week is kind to you!!! stay hydrated and eat regularly too!! stay healthy w this delta variant.. :( times r getting scary again.. sending good vibes and love your way and sorry for such a late response once again >< 💓🌸💐💫💝🍬🍓💞💘 - lofy <3

LOFY<333 it is a-ok if you respond late, I know we chat in essay form so it's hard to respond to all of it at once T_T thank u kindly for this package tho<333 and !!! that's so good!!! i'm very happy you're looking forward to adjusting in your new school/college!! i hope you're roommate is respectful, nice and you have a great time with her!!! also do you speak some spanish?? in my very very tiny brain, i was wondering about placement tests and realized they're for people who already have some knowledge in that subject. how many languages do you speak btw?!! :D also WHAT. ALL THREE AT ONE TIME?!?!??!! dude and here i was thinking doing a helix and a conch would be too much ._. it still sound super duper cute tho!!!! i can't imagine the process of cleaning them all constantly and caring for them at the same time but still it's smart of u bc then they will all be close to each other in healing time and what could be a couple of years of ears healing only turns into 1-2!! :D

speaking of earring stuff, i’m thinking of changing out my diamond stud helix earring to a huggie hoop! i’ve seen many cute ones and im contemplating on doing it before my cousins wedding at the end of this month or not...🤔🤔 FLUFF IS MY FAVOURITE TOO!!! there is something just so nostalgic but heartwarming about cheesy corny titles/stories that not much can compare. like i know ppl say “oh that’s so cheesy🤢 i can’t stand it” but genuinely it’s all filled with happiness?!?!?? that is the meaning of fluff?? how could you not love it and be happy?😭

not jackson being a part of the enemy pack 😭😭 god this exo fic just sounds better and better the more i hear it and i was hugely obsessed with werewolf stories on wattpad so call me a werewolf story connoisseur 😎🙏🏼 that must be one of the lamest things to be a connoisseur of 🧐 anyways... !!! he was so good in acting and genuinely he could become a heart throb actor!! he really needs to get into some acting deals🤔

YOU GAS ME UP TOO MUCH<33333🥺🥺🥺 sm pls let us fanfic writers create drama plots for yall, like we could give you great business in the drama industry 😭🙏🏼 !! i’m so happy you like “a postcard away”, the plot’s still being determined tbh i think i might write it in one go like my recent mark fic and just get it out of my system!

thank you 🥺🥺💗♥️💗 i love that i give off hendery vibes to you!! he’s someone i adore and would have a great time being friends with!! but also we are most definitely markhyuck 😎😎😎 i love that i give off haechan vibes to you too!! i think the reason why you give off such pure, happy energy to me and i relate you to ppl like that is because you are always so happy in these messages!! i know i don’t know what you look like but you give me the same happy feeling i get when i watch chenle vids from a couple years ago when he was all bright and sunshine :’) 💗 even if you do look badass yuta scorpio irl, you still are like a baby chenle to me especially since you’re ‘02 born!!!

i’m very happy for you that meeting with your friend was fun!!! :D ♥️ I know what you mean by bad online friends, i had one like that but i guess they’re all lessons to be learned! i’m still happy you’re having great things come your way! i may sound like a grandma saying this but do make sure to be careful who you share your good news with! some ppl may wish bad things for you and i only say this bc you seem to be so happy in your life rn, i only wish for you to stay this way :)♥️💗♥️💗♥️💗 i totally agree with worrying about what to say!! it’s always been a constant struggle and when they’re all new conversations, it’s hard to navigate and know what is okay and what is not!! ppl are very quick to cancel or ignore these days too which makes it feel so cutthroat :(

each time i imagine what you look like in my head i still can not see the intimidating part bc of how cute your msgs are!!! but i think your natural hair must be beautiful and ppl are always intimidated by #girlbosses #bossbabes 🙄🙏🏼 we are making new words, look at us go<3 merriam webster please contact us at chittashit@gmail.com <33 (not a real email)

i’ve never tried blue moon icecream!!!! it sounds so cool tho!!! :D bubble gum is a forever favourite like no matter how many times i try other flavours, it’s always bubblegum, cookies and cream or cotton candy for me😔 i would love a door dash of blue moon icecream thank you<3🥺♥️ DUDE THANK YOU FOR LIKING CILANTROO!!!! IT IS SUCH A GREAT HERB THING AND ELEVATES ALL DISHES!! amazing on pasta btw i don’t know if i mentioned it before but garlic shrimp sounds really good!!! i don’t seafood nor meat but it sounds like it would look really good! :D

do keep a positive mindset going into college!!! you’ll do amazing and trust me, you’ll do just fine and remember that you may feel not so smart sometimes or you might feel down but there are others will be feeling the same way and you can always bond over this😎 probably not the best advice i’ve ever given LOL and personally for me, word limits weren’t too bad and only get picky the higher the classes are! profs don’t usually check the limits unless it’s very precise!!

the world catering to men is probably the worst thing ever and i’m sorry if anything ever happens and i know there are differences being in a canadian and american university but in my 6 yrs being in uni, i haven’t had too awful of an experience with profs nor people!!! as long as you surround yourself with good ppl then you will do good!!! <3333 :))

dnyl club :(((( pls that makes me so happy and comments like this just make me want to finish it once and for all, i’m really trying to give it a good ending and justify it all!! i hope to have it out before the next semester pulls up!! but thank you so much lofy<333 your messages always mean so much to me and you have no idea how happy i am to know about your thoughts<333 and if it was up to me, i would give u 10000000000 notes on everything you post!! brb as i rb some of your beautiful content as well!!!

LINDT MAKES THOSE?!?!?!?!? WHAT. okay that sounds so freaking good im blown away rn and i hope i can find that flavour but idk if we have it here in my city! hopefully its somewhere else in canada or maybe amazon or something but thank u for this recommendation<33 you should try rose flavoured ice-cream!!! you can get it from usually from any indian/muslim restaurant!! idk how to describe it but it has this sweet flavour and a faint smell of roses so it’s always super duper delicious<333 i actually havent seen ice-cream shaped in a rose!! i’ve seen chocolate roses tho during valentines and we sell them at our store so i’d just buy them for myself and my close friends as a friend’s valentines<33

LOFFYYYYYYYY OMG PLEASEEE SPILL MORE DETAILS BETWEEN U AND CUTE GUY!!!!!! also this is horrible but nowadays (actually this has been forever so not a recent thing), i find writing inspo in ppl’s love lives and so now you are giving me a cute strangers to friends to lovers au moment<33 in all seriousness, i hope he’s a really nice guy and that you do become each other’s s/o’s <333 you deserve a great person lofy, specifically someone who’ll listen to you and make you laugh and extremely happy!!!! i’m rlly rlly happy for you :’)))) BUT THAT IS SO CUTE THAT HE LIKED THE SS EXCEPT i also feel you and would’ve died right there<3 

i will not try to talk abt mr. glasses too much but he’s so CUTTEEEEE!!!! omg okay so after the bridal shower so just two days after you sent this msg, i was showing him and my pharmacist abt the bridal shower setup (me and the pharmacist r good friends and i’d promised to show him) and mr. glasses was surprised that me and my cousins set up the surprise shower ourselves and i was secretly screaming inside!!! and that weekend we had a heat wave warning so i was telling them both to make sure to keep hydrated and he was all smiles!!! 

BUT DUDE THIS PAST WEEK OK OMG okay i was telling him i was going to bake banana choc chip muffins for everyone and i asked if he had allergies but he was like “oh no i don’t have any, i’ll eat anything you make” and i was like okay good!!! earlier he had his mask off when he was on his break and i walked by him and he smiled at me and i was like “look at that, you have such a great smile!” teasing him and he smiled wider laughing and when we passed i looked back at him and HE LOOKED BACK AT ME!!!! then when i brought the muffins in our next shift i was telling the pharmacy and he was like “oh i was waiting the whole day for them!” AND I WAS LIKE EEEEEEE bc lowkey pavlov conditioning him<333 #girlbossmoment <333 but he only took 2 when he was going to go home and he always asks me if im working the next day and he did it again except i told him i wasnt and he was like “okay ill give you a full report next week on these delicious looking muffins” and i was laughing but squealing inside and when he turned to go he said THE WORDS I DID THE OTHER WEEK: “it’s going to be hot this weekend so make sure to stay hydrated!!” and I ALMOST SCREAMED TO MYSELF but i play it off so cool in front of him i have no clue how because he’s so good-looking and his biceps were literally popping out of his shirt that i love and complimented him on. but i was like “yes you too!!!” and he gave me a big smile and walked away and i visited the next day to grab something for my grandma and he was there and happy to see me, calling me kind bc i brought food for the pharmacist and he asked me if i had any more muffins but i told him that sadly i did not </3333 BUT HE SAID THEY WERE SO GOOD AND HE LOVED THEM<3333 ok anyways that was unecessarily long 🤨🤨🤨

also i am very dumb<33 i for some reason thought it would be easier to count 8 months backwards so i dont know how i ended up so far off 😭 BUT THATS SO COOL THAT UR BDAY’S ON HALLOWEEN WTF!!!! victoria monet our bi queen<33 have you seen her daughter?? she’s so cute!!! pinkpantheress is addicting istg her new single “just for me” has been on repeat for a long time now<33 victoria for SM would be amazing genuinely and maybe it’s me but i feel like nct has been losing their slightly mysterious and unique touch lately :(( YES! HORRO TARO<33 it will be just in time for ur bday!!! but it’ll be a fun challenge to do since he’s such a baby and it’ll be hard to portray him as scary 🥺

pixie hollow taeil will maybe be a small fic!! it’ll be heavily inspired for my love of tinkerbell and specifically terrence the pixie dust fairy<33 when i was young i hardcore shipped terrence and tink together LOL (still do...🤔$

MONTHLY GIRLS’ NOZAKI KUN IS ONE OF MY ALLTIME FAV MANGA’S/ANIME’S!!!! I’m thinking of having Kun as one of the helpers that Nozaki takes upon himself like Hori, Chiyo, Mikoshiba, etc.!!! that’s one fic i’m excited to get started on!!! i shall listen to that song rec for the mark fic!!!! okay but genuinely that’s one of the quickest fics i’ve read and it still needs editing but im glad you enjoyed it!!!! i was feeling unecessarily sad that day and had YKWIM by Yot Club playing on repeat as i wrote!! that was also one of my fav parts!!! that and the ending i loved <33 ANYTHING FOR LOKI<3😭

thank you for this msg again lofy and wishing you the very best for the upcoming week too!!! stay hydrated as well and eat well too!!! sending all the love to you and all the best luck<33 and no need to apologize!!! you can send your asks in whenever and i’ll always respond<33 there is no pressure😎🙏🏼♥️💗♥️💗