#for context they were both minors and i'm an adult and NOT comfortable with dating a minor. but they kept insisting even after i said no?

[systemofmycelium]

if i had a nickel for everytime a person i'd just met/barely knew came onto me and started asking for a romantic relationship while blatantly ignoring my boundaries and discomfort with the agegap to the point of pulling the 'age is just a number' argument i'd have two nickels. which isn't alot but,

[kyliafanfiction]

Love that two of your all time favorite characters both happen to be named Amy! How do you think they'd get along if they met?!

Not only do they have the same first name, they also have deeply, deeply complicated issues with their mothers that are at the root of a large chunk of their issues, have powers that scare them at least at one point (or so is my hc for Amy Madison, which predates reading Worm by years) and are pretty problematic, albeit Amy Dallon has Amy Madison beat in that regard, to say the least.

Also, if you count Ward and the Season 8 comics, both Amys date villains and teamup with them to go after the heroes and outlive their villainous partners.

But yes, I have considered the... I don't know if it counts as irony, but it sure is something.

Anyway, as to your question, I think it depends on the context so much. Like, as much as I don't like Lisa, in another world, had Amy and Lisa met under very different circumstances, I could see them getting along (The Girls who Can't Unplug is a great fic exploring this, as is the mildly developed friendship of sorts between Amy and Lisa in Here Comes the New Boss. And while I'm hesitant to say it's really well done, there's also Amy/Lisa in Inheritance, which has it's merits as written too.)

So do Amy M. and Amy D. meet on the same side? Opposite sides? Amy M. is much older than Amy D. if we go by mere birthdates, so do we change that for the AU where they meet? are they meeting in the Buffyverse? (If so, is Amy Dallon a witch too?) Or Wormverse? if Wormverse, what are Amy M's powers exactly? (Catherin Madison, Amy Madison's mother is obviously some sort of body-stealing Stranger or something, but what is Amy Madison's power? Rat-based changer? :rofl:)

I think there's some things they could bond over, and if nothing else, Catherine Madison would put Carol Dallon into some perspective for Amy Dallon (This is a Carol Dallon Hate Blog, but she's at least got like, an excuse for the way she is and has some mildly almost redeeming features. Catherine Madison? She's just a terrible mother all the way down)

On the other hand, while I don't think Amy Madison in Season 7 or 8 is actually *happy*, I don't think she enjoys being evil/etc (maybe wishful thinking, but I do have a whole series of headcanons built out about this girl, though I haven't revisted them in years by this point), she's also much more comfortable about the idea of not being heroic. As a parahuman, she'd probably be perfectly fine being a rogue, or even a minor villain like the Undersiders were before the Fossberg Gallery.

Amy Dallon on the other hand, at least in canon, just wouldn't be happy being a villain, or doing evil. Not with her shame and guilt and all that shit. Girl nearly completely snaps and still doesn't go full hog on evil. Also, Amy Dallon is intensely judgy about other people's moral status (she's not projecting her own self-loathing and fears of becoming a villain, why would you say that!) so if Amy Madison wasn't being a hero or whatever, Amy Dallon would probably give her shit about that.

I think under some circumstances, they could get along. Amy Madison, if she's older, could maybe give Amy Dallon some advice about developing better coping mechanisms. Or, failing that, suggest that Amy Dallon get addicted to something (because honestly, an addiction to something - depending on the something - might actually help Amy out :rofl: /s). I don't know if Amy Dallon would actually take the advice though, lbr. If they met in like, a group for people with Mother issues, I could see them getting along, but an Amy that goes to some sort of 'Mother Issues Support Group' is presumably an adult and also like, already making strides to improve.

It's very contingent on the circumstances. Amy Madison is very defensive minded, but in a 'lash out at the threat before they hurt me' sort of way (which is arguably reminiscent of Taylor's whole schtick). Amy Dallon's problem (well, one of many) is that she's intensely passive about her problems until it's too late. Personality-wise, they don't necessarily have a ton in common, or common approaches to things. For instance, I have a deeply rooted hc that Amy Madison loves Cinderella and Disney Princess movies in general due to her childhood with Catherine. I don't think Amy Dallon likes Disney Princesses at all - probably unconsciously reminds her too much of her time with Marquis, when she probably did dress up as a princess and stuff.

Tl;dr - they probably would never be buddies. But they might get along under some circumstances. Under others, Amy Dallon would probably dislike Amy Madison quite a bit.

[poisonheart]

Now that I have had time to reread some older episodes and also look into a few characteristic of certain real life predators (like Epstein) I'm able to add a few thoughts to this already excellent post.

Just be warned, the subject matter is sensitive and will mention RL cases to put some of Yui and Gun's behavior into context.

I'll begin by admitting that the formal arc reminded me of the horrible case of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.

You can do a Google search to read up on the case, but one of the key things is that these predators chose vulnerable minors who often had financial hardship or strained family relationships.

[Alyssa and Shin Ae both fit these categories respectively.]

The first thing we must get out of the way is that the victims have no fault in what happened to them. I have read so many sickening things like "they asked for it" or "they agreed to it" when we are talking about children manipulated and/or coerced by very powerful adults.

There is NO EXCUSE for grooming and trafficking children.

There is NO EXCUSE for an adult engaging in sex with children.

Although ILY is a work of fiction, it is important to note that a lot of the behaviors shown in the comic happen in real life so we can read up on predators and behavior patterns of abusers to see if these fictional characters fit and what it can mean.

Yui manipulated Shin Ae into attending a high profile event where she was supposed to "act nice" in front of the many important people she would be introduced to while being forced to wear a revealing dress that Shin Ae had already expressed she wasn't comfortable with.

Yui had also tried to proposition Shin Ae to her adult son Kousuke by tricking her to coming to his house, wearing that same dress, and by claiming that the reason she chose it was because her son liked the back/ass of a woman. She was inappropriate in commentary and in her actions, down to finally dressing an underaged girl in her son's shirt to get a rise out of them both.

This is also the woman who "jokingly" said that Shin Ae's hypothetical relationship with Kousuke could be "kept under wraps" until she was of age to avoid the backlash of the public over her son dating a minor.

All of these things were outlandish—maybe even celebrated by some shippers as "oh the mom approves" back then—but they served to set up a picture that I think a lot of the fan base has ignored.

Yui was grooming Shin Ae.

Back then, we didn't know that the Kim's had a history of SA through their family. This is something we learned recently in the articles that Yujing has collected for her "big story."

We knew Sang Chul was a predator, that he is the guy Shin Ae meets at the masquerade whose friend/companion slipped the date rape drugs while he distracted her with his aggressive and unwanted advances.

At that point, Shin Ae had been there with Nol before he had to go to the restroom, so it is very likely that Sang Chul and his buddy were on the other side of the bar observing the exchange between them.

Sang Chul has been written to not only be "in the know" about the brothers (through his father and their family connections) but also by observation. He seems pretty obsessed with them.

[We don't know if he's been snooping around in the hopes of finding anything to bring Rand down since he was one of the witnesses who saw his grandfather—or so we assume that's who the older Kim was.]

Yui uses her charm and "mother status" to lower the guard of those she targets. She's just a harmless, middle aged woman. Mothers inspire comfort, lower your guard, and that's what she wants so that she can get the information she seeks.

She is prying—trying to find the weakness from which she can hook into and she eventually finds it...

Then she tries to establish a connection by saying she would have liked a daughter, so that they could go shopping, teach her about makeup, and talk about boys—all things she assumes a girl like her, who didn't have a mother growing up, might be drawn to.

With Alyssa, she targeted her low self-esteem by praising her. There was this powerful, charming woman Alyssa instantly admired telling her she was beautiful and talented—enough to become a star.

The bottom line is, she’s preying on both girls and using different manipulation tactics.

Then, when confronted, Yui pins the blame on the girls. We saw it with Shin Ae particularly. Yui says she didn’t force her to attend the formal, only suggested it.

This is gaslighting. Yui manipulated the entire situation to ensure the outcome she wanted. By using Shin Ae’s strong sense of justice and loyalty, she made her believe that the person who had “helped her” (Kousuke) would lose his job. Was it naive? Sure. But she was facing all those financial stressors and her father was in the hospital. She was tired and trying to hold it together and Yui exploited this.

She will say the same to Alyssa, if she’s confronted later.

Yui fits the typical abuser.

And what happens is, by making the victims feel like it truly was their choices that led them there, they sink them lower and control them longer.

The formal was horrible because it was hosted by the Kim's. This was an event that family organized. The older Kim has his assault scandal, Sang Chul's school had the assault scandals, and at the formal we learn that Gun has the reputation of liking any woman.

Shin Ae is even mistaken as his "new wife" which means he isn't past having girls that look that young by his side.

This puts Yui's vehemence in dressing Shin Ae up like a doll, telling her how she should act—with the excuse that it's to not embarass Kousuke, the person Shin Ae believes has risked his job/status to help out financially and with a job, because it's the effective way of getting compliance from someone as spirited as her.

[There are also theories related to the possibility of Kousuke being Gun's son and how propositioning Shin Ae to Kousuke was meant to test whether he inherited his father's depravity, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.]

When we meet Gun at the formal—and it's the only time we've seen him have more screen time—he's this social butterfly character who is "cool enough" to pressure a bartender to serve alcohol to two girls who aren't old enough to drink legally.

And it's precisely a method these type of men use to grow closer to young victims—he acts cool, facilitates things that a lot of kids that age want to try, and in doing so steps into this space of almost that "cool uncle that lets you do whatever you want."

Except he isn't.

And he’s not behaving like an uncle.

As Trashlie said, it's the fact that he recognizes Shin Ae immediately at the bar that sets off the alarms.

Why would Yui talk to him about her? Enough to describe her physically at the very least? Enough to have him be able to recognize her in a crowd?

What kind of relationship do those two have that these conversations would even take place?

Even if Yui had just been gossiping with Gun casually about this new girl that has left her son impressed—why would she describe her so that he can tell who she is at first glance? What’s the point?

I don't know about you guys, but I don't talk about people's looks to others when I'm telling a friend about someone new I've met.

And it's how he comments on her outfit and hair—two things that Yui was specifically responsible for—that make this worse.

It's the way Gun invades people's spaces, as if he is owed the privilege of it, just because "he's nice." It's how he encourages behaviors that aren't appropriate in a setting where it might be offensive to refuse the host (and Kousuke confirms as much by telling Nol it would be rude since Gun is his superior, senior, and the host.)

It's the fact that Gun was the one meant to "introduce Shin Ae to everyone" and that he must be in on whatever Yui is planning to comply with such wishes. And why would a teen girl from a poor background be introduced to high profile guests, like the board or shareholders, while on the arm of Gun Kim? They don’t know Shin Ae has just met this man? Was it Yui’s intent to make Shin Ae’s reputation tarnished by having her hang on a Kim’s arm?

I know that Alyssa was the one who suggested ordering the drinks (and we can talk about how alcohol is a coping device in her girl group now that we have the Christmas party and she's been seemingly pressured into it before) but I think that even if she hadn't, Gun would have walked in and had drinks served to them.

It's the timing, too.

How by then she had been drugged and alcohol would have only made those symptoms worse—how Yui might have been aware and planned it all to happen that way.

A lot of things that went down that night suddenly don't seem as coincidental... and the more you think about it, the darker it gets.

Especially since we've heard from Quim that the formal was supposed to be worse... and that we would have met other Kim's.

This was their formal. Their turf. Their party.

The staff was probably all hired by them.

It’s an event that would make it easy for the Kim’s to get away with their sexual crimes and then have their victims blackmailed or manipulated into NDA’s and some cash.

This kind of shit happens a lot when abusers have the money and power to ruin the lives of those who seek to expose them.

We could have believed at some point, in a bit of delusion, that Yui wanted to help these girls she "uplifts" in a twisted but genuine way, however that’s not practical. A woman who actually aimed to build up strong, independent women would not subject them to these horrors.

There is a sneak peek on Patreon that absolutely broke my heart for Alyssa and truly showed me the perversion of these Gun and Yui in power. I don't want to read a single word of hatred against Alyssa.

She doesn't "deserve" being preyed upon by people in positions of power who are exploiting her vulnerability to abuse her.

Darker ILY Theories: the Shinae + Gun Kim theory

The time has COME. I keep telling myself to write this post but I keep putting it off because honestly, this one makes me feel sick. I’ve been talking about it again with friends while rereading the Black and White Formal arc, and in light of the current FP episode (232) I think it’s time to bring this one back into the fray. 

As a big disclaimer this post deals with sexual assault noncon theories of underage girls. 

Keep reading

[flapperdame16]

The Queen by Matthew Dennison Book Review!

(image: Head of Zeus Publishing)

Anyone who knows even a little inkling about me will know how much of a supporter I am of The Queen and the British Royal family. Since my childhood, I've been fascinated with Queen Elizabeth, even telling my Mom as young as age three (in the late 90s) I wanted to, "visit a place with a Queen".

At that age I didn't know the Queen by name, but the image I had inside my head was definitely of Elizabeth. A woman with short white hair wearing a crown was what the image of a, "Queen" , was to me. Fast forward to late 2010, just before William and Kate's engagement, and I became a full blown Royal watcher. Since I have been 14, I collect magazines, make an effort to watch video appearances, see documentaries, and follow many Monarchy devoted blogs and social media accounts to keep up with what is happening within "the fold". I watch The Crown every season on its release date (or close to its release date), and know all the latest buzz, but bizarrely, I never have sat down to read a full life biography of Queen Elizabeth. I have magazines, and coffee table books about her, but never chose out a biography. It's so difficult to choose a good one in a sea full of books, and for that, I am so thrilled I got the opportunity to read distinguished royal author Matthew Dennison's (he has written three other royal biographies) newest book simply and elegantly titled: The Queen. What makes Dennison's book stand out against the rest is firstly it's one of the first books to be published about the Queen after the death of Prince Philip, The Duke of Edinburgh. It looks at their relationship throughout its entirety, giving a fresh examination on the longest royal marriage in history. It was comforting to be reassured how strong the bond between Philip and Elizabeth was. Sure they had their rough patches in their relationship, and nasty rumors along the way, (particularly in the late 50s), but I'd venture to say any marriage, and relationship that was established for 73 years does. It's not so much the bumps in the road they had, it was how they were able to navigate and work through them that counts. It's important to remember Philip and Elizabeth fought for their love, at the time of their marriage with anti-German sentiment, and they endured right up to Philip's death. Its inspiring, especially in the time we live in now. Secondly, I will mention this book does not deviate on tangents about others, its focus is always centered on Elizabeth. Throughout  her long reign, many players both personally and professionally have crossed paths with HM; prime ministers, daughters-in-law, members of staff, and a whole bunch of others. Rather than devoting entire paragraphs to other players such as Prime Minister Winston Churchill, Princess Diana, HM The Queen Mother, or Private Secretary Martin Charteris, Dennsion gives us info about them on a need to know basis in relation to their relation to Queen Elizabeth. This keeps the writing focused with a strong flow in regards to the star subject. At the same time, it allows you to have basis of facts of certain players you may not know much about. During my own reading, to have a background context of the Prime Ministers was certainly a highlight for me, as I personally don't know much about the British Parliament and the people in it! Moreover, I want to point out how fascinating it was to read an in depth analysis of HM's childhood and young adult life before becoming Queen, as it's really the "least" documented part of her life. As with Queen Victoria many people only see Elizabeth as, "The old lady Queen", and it's sad many  forget at one point she was a vibrant young women who reveled in being a 1950s military wife, and someone who grew up in a close knit household in a family unit of consisting of "we four" (herself, her parents, and sister, Margaret).

When she was born in 1926, Elizabeth was not in immediate line for the throne as her father Bertie (later George VI) was the second son of George V. David (later the abdicated, Edward VIII) was the oldest son and therefore, first in line. Elizabeth's childhood until the 1936 abdication (and the following Second World War) was spent as minor royalty, that only serious royal watchers in the 1920s/1930s would read about. Yet at the same time, she was the only "princess" at the time of her birth, and she was the only titled royal grandchild. Elizabeth had cousins who were daughter of her aunt, Princess Mary, Countess of Harewood, but those two sons were not HRHs. I learned just how fascinated people were with HM in her childhood, and it really drew parallels to how today people are fascinated with Princess Charlotte. From sparking name trends, to clothing trends, to making popular toys come en vogue, princess inspiration has always been in the public interest! Finally, I'd like to bring the to attention the fair criticism this book brings to Elizabeth's reign: it's no secret that no one is perfect. Elizabeth has had her fair share of political clashes, family problems and even scandals within her long reign. Its balanced in saying the longer one lives, the more events- both good and bad- you witness. The book is pretty nuanced when bringing up touchy topics such as the Princess Margaret and Group Captain Peter Townsend's romance, HM's parenting skills/ relationships with her children, the Aberfan disaster of 1966, and Princess Diana' death to name a few.

As in within the book, it's all about points of view and the facts. I'm delighted to say the book doesn't take sides when viewing these topics, rather gives enough info for the reader to form their own opinion. I must say, however, I particularly didn't care for the slightly snide remarks given towards Princess Diana- always calling her every move "revenge" towards the family. That rubbed me the wrong way, but as I said, it's all about perception.

Overall, this book was a really informative read that is not just a rehash of the same ol', same ol' you would read in any random biography of Queen Elizabeth. With the last chapter clocking in at page 506, it may seem like a long dung out read, but it goes by quickly once you start digging in. (Personally I spotted one error on page 403, it's William Arthur Philip Louis, not William Philip Arthur!)

What I personally took away from the read was The Queen is an enduring woman. She's witnessed hardships of war, family crisis, premature deaths, scandals, and even the covid-19 pandemic, yet she's always been there for her people, her family and her country. She's been able to navigate changing times and as The Crown actress Claire Foy has said in her 2017 Golden Globes acceptance speech, Elizabeth has been at "the center of the world" since 1953 when she ascended to the throne. I don't think I myself could do better if I were in her shoes, and all that's left to do now, I believe,  is to appreciate her hard work and dedication. God save the Queen!

Above: My Copy of The Queen with (some of!) my other Royal books! :)

I'd like thank Hailey and the whole team at Kaye Publicity for sending me a copy of the book to read and review. The Queen by Matthew Dennison will be available to own on September 1, 2021 in the USA and is available worldwide online and in participating stores. Links are as follows, and check out my YouTube Review video HERE)

AMAZON USA (Hardcover)

Barnes and Noble

AMAZON UK (Hardcover)

The Queen Goodreads' page

Matthew Dennison Author page

The Queen (Head of Zeus Publishing page)

[shinydixon]

Going to get a lot of hate for this I think but if I am completely honest my problem with HellC doesn’t lie in the age gap. Without sounding patronising I am probably older than the average person on tumblr (an older nerd, if you will) and frankly, nobody batted an eyelid at 17 year olds dating a 20 year olds when I was that age - I can only imagine in the 80s it was even less of a big deal. I dated people older than me at 17 and most of my friends did , too. Most of them were healthy relationships (albeit first loves so hard to get over heartbreak!) One of them started dating an 18 year old when she was 16 and they’ve been married for seven years now. In fact I only know one or two people who have dated someone the same age as them at some point. Most of my friends are with guys who are a couple years younger, actually 😂

An age gap like this needs to be put in context, too - the context is high school, where Eddie is a repeater (knew a couple of those myself). Objectively he and Chrissy are in the same environment and same life stage, so they can relate to each other in that sense. I am not arguing with anyone who does see it as problematic, as this is just my opinion. I suppose in a way I’m surprised people feel so strongly about a three year age gap, when both parties are above the age of consent. For example, where are boundaries drawn? Do people have to limit themselves to only people their exact age? What happens if someone who is 17 dates someone who is 18? Is a two-year age gap ok? Like each relationship is different and has to be looked at with an objective lens factoring in culture, pre-existing relationship between the two people and environment.

Then again I feel strongly on the matter of cheating, which is why Hellcheer is not for me.

I'm not one of those people that went on and on about their age, hellcheer is not for me for other reasons.

Anyway, I think the problem is that she's a minor and, It doesn't matter if there is a 3-4 age gap or it was considered ok in the 80's, it doesn't mean it's right.

Even 14 and 18 is "just a 4 years gap" but please don't tell me it makes you comfortable?

Then add that there is NSFW media showing a minor with an adult, it's normal that people feel uncomfortable.

Then again her age is not even stated clearly so🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway thank you for explain your reasons without insulting 🤍 I make sure that, if others wanna reply, they'll keep it civil