#followed directly by the knowledge that i had missed a doctor's appointment and that im out of meds
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realized I'm in a constant state of "Overwhelmed" because today I left my room and immediately got asked to do more than 1 thing for others and it sent me into legitimate fight or flight
have you ever been so burnt out that the thought of doing anything causes your ashes to light on fire all over again
#shea muses aloud#more of a vent but not really a vent#im just so tired but i hardly do anything anymore#i havent seen friends in ages#i just work and then get too exhausted from the toll on my body and hibernate#thats not a way to live goddamn#i feel like a reanimated corpse instead#i got asked what im doing today and was like 'i gotta work on job apps' and the response was 'ok good that means we can go shopping today'#followed directly by a different ask of 'hey i need you to make some boxes for me'#followed directly by the knowledge that i had missed a doctor's appointment and that im out of meds#and that i have work tomorrow and am not prepared#everything feels like smog in my lungs that i cant cough up#i used to be able to do so much#but then again#health problems and chronic pain will do that to a mfer
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