#flamegriller

[skitter-smack]

it’s always ‘competitive battlers don’t care about Pokemon’ but like every competitive battler I know is like . This is my garchomp. She has sad wet eyes and so sometimes I have to put her in sweaters to calm her down. Also she has won several championships.

[the-most-humble-blog]

🔥 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙃𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝘾𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙈𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙁𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙡

“Celebrate the taste of opportunity!”

🍖 𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙖 𝙁𝙀𝙀𝙎𝙏! 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙘𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣? 🍖

Well, let’s just say there’s been a surplus of fresh protein recently! A mysterious and totally coincidental fire cleared out a few underhive sectors—and wouldn’t you know it, prime cuts of meat are now available for next to nothing! (Don’t ask too many questions, just eat.)

"𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮!"

🐷 𝙁𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙡 𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙨 🐷

Only for a limited time! (Or as long as the "supply" lasts!)

1. The "Mysterious Origins" Roast – 15 Throne Gelt

🔥 Slow-cooked over the same flames that birthed it! This tender, juicy meat is pulled straight from the still-smoldering ruins of Sector 13. The secret? Low heat, high body count.

2. Chef’s Choice Mystery Sausage – 8 Throne Gelt

🌭 “You’ve never had sausage like this before!” Stuffed with meat freshly "harvested" from the festival’s unexpected supply boom! Smooth, fatty, and with just a hint of familiarity. Don’t think too hard about it!

3. Arson-Roasted Ribs – 12 Throne Gelt

🍖 Our ribs practically fell off the bone on their own! (Screaming may have been involved!) Smoky, tender, and conveniently sourced from the sector fire’s “cleanup efforts.”

4. Deep-Fried Long Pork Strips – 10 Throne Gelt

🥓 A crispy, golden-brown delight dredged in industrial fryer oil and seasoned with a blend of proprietary hive spices. Popular among gangers and those who don’t ask too many questions.

5. Hive-Marrow Burgers – 9 Throne Gelt

🍔 Meat so fresh, you can almost hear it beg! Ground into thick patties and topped with drippings of our special "charcoal-black" marrow sauce. Served on burnt-toast brioche, in honor of the recent festival “events.”

6. Gut-Stuffed Offal Stew – 7 Throne Gelt

🍲 A hearty mix of boiled innards, intestines, and livers all torn from the freshest sources. Some pieces may contain tattoo ink or remnants of cybernetic implants (a fun little reminder of where they came from!).

7. The "Humble Citizen" Charcuterie Board – 18 Throne Gelt

🧀 A selection of premium meats from those who never thought they'd be served! Includes: ✔ Hollow-Faced Prosciutto – Aged to perfection in the depths of the hive. ✔ Scavver Salami – Coarse, chunky, and full of "character." ✔ Pickled Eyes & Fingers – A delicacy best eaten before they twitch. ✔ Toothpick Breadsticks – Garnished with teeth for extra crunch!

8. The "No Witnesses" Meat Pie – 10 Throne Gelt

🥧 Flaky crust filled with juicy, perfectly diced mystery meat. The best part? Every pie is handcrafted using freshly disappeared hive citizens! Some say the flavor changes based on their last emotions.

9. Servitor Shoulder Chops – 14 Throne Gelt

💀 Perfectly marbled with a slight hint of cybernetic residue! Slow-roasted and served with a side of brain-stim supplement gravy. (Eat fast, sometimes they still twitch!)

10. "Did They Have a Name?" T-Bone Steak – 17 Throne Gelt

🥩 A thick, juicy cut straight from the nameless masses who "volunteered" for this event! Well-seasoned, well-cooked, and comes with a side of denial.

🐖 BONUS: Emperor’s Mercy BBQ Platter 🐖

🚨 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙍𝙐𝙀 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙄𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 🚨 – 35 Throne Gelt 🍖 A massive platter of EVERY meat dish on the menu for the hungriest and most morally bankrupt guests. 💀 Comes with a free servitor bib that reads: "Don’t Ask, Just Chew."

🐽 𝗙𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟: "𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗗 & 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗" 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗦! 🐽

🔥 Select meats come pre-blackened from the fire, adding a deep, smoky richness! 🔥 All flame-kissed meats are half off! (Just like Sector 13's population!)

🔥 𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟!

👨‍🍳 "𝙈𝙀𝙀𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙁" 𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙇! 💀 One lucky diner will get to "meet" the meat's original owner!* (If there's enough of them left!)

⚠ 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗧 ⚠

All sales final. Meat is sourced from "varied" donors.

Health disclaimers: Side effects include nightmares, stomach cramps, and existential horror.

Consuming more than one meal per visit may result in recognizing someone from your old hab-block.

Please do not ask where the meat came from. You don’t want to know. We don’t want to tell you.

🔥 “𝘿𝙊𝙉’𝙏 𝙇𝙀𝙏 𝙂𝙊𝙊𝘿 𝙁𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙃 𝙂𝙊 𝙏𝙊 𝙒𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀!” 🔥

🐷 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙁𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙃 𝙈𝙊𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙁𝙐𝙇 𝙏𝙊𝘿𝘼𝙔!

(𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙣𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.) 🍽

🔥 TAG & SHARE WITH A FRIEND—YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY’LL BE ON THE MENU NEXT! 🔥

[pathoscleaved]

@ashenwinds has entered the web.

𝐃𝐑. 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐌, 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄, 𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐑, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄-𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍. Orange pupils and elongated slits squint at such a sight: surely, this was a decoration, not the Killer he had been placed with for the new, intriguing challenges of tackling bigger (and more) sacrifices for the malevolent Entity that had given him everything he wished for.

Dressed in his S.T.A.R.S. uniform, Albert peers up at the skellie and waves his hand in front of them, taking in all of the pirate's features as he does so. The black hair thrust into a bun and orange eyes that almost gleam like embers - quite reflective of his own eyes - are the only indication that this might be his ally for the upcoming Trial. The being is decorated in all sorts of crystals, as well, and horns protrude from their brow...

What a curious thing.

Eyes flicker, then, to the surrounding area. Even stranger, as if stolen from a book he'd read as a teenager. Not the Raccoon City Police Department, then. He did love staining that old location of his memory in rivers of blood. No, instead, surrounding him - and that gigantic skeleton - is a dungeon. The decaying remains of corpses and skeletons litter the place.

He stares back at the Warden now, keeping his distance but also curious.

"Decoration or Killer?" he asks, and brandishes his knife as if to show his allegiance. The slight British cadence of his voice makes the question all the louder in the dungeon. Uroboros moves and wraps around his wrist, snaking up to lovingly flick a tendril along Wesker's S.T.A.R.S.'s patch. Even it is ready for a fight.

"What is your specialty? I bring forth pestilence."

That same tendril swirls, as if it is nodding.

[celestialdancer]

When i was a kid I thought being in your 20s was like. Having a job and shit

Turns out being in your 20s is watching Bamzooki at half 2 in the morning with your housemates and getting upset that the stickbug didn't get used

[skitter-smack]

Over here we have living proof of plenty of worshipped deities’ existences. The simple answer is ‘who do you worship, if any?’ I don’t. Worship any myself!! 👍 I used to worship The Crane and was technically blessed by it but I really don’t follow it anymore.

I’m only really critical of arcism otherwise,,

i have a question

[skitter-smack]

hey hey hey young trainer look at me. look at me. sometimes pokemon aren’t battling pokemon. it’s not because you’re a bad trainer it’s because some pokemon just aren’t fit for battling either because they don’t want to or other reasons. you don’t have to push your pokemon’s boundaries i promise you sometimes it’s neither of your faults. sometimes pokemon don’t or can’t battle. ok? ok.

[skitter-smack]

speaking as someone with experience with this: just because a pokemon evolves through having a strong bond with its owner / other pokemon and doesn’t evolve doesn’t mean you’re a bad trainer or owner. some pokemon just don’t want to evolve! sometimes you can’t have that Pokemon evolve because you can’t care for that evolved pokemon! one of my internet buddies has like 9 alolan meowth and none of them have evolved and they are the sweetest most loved things I’ve ever seen and do not care to evolve.

be easy on yourself! sometimes pokemon just don’t want to evolve!

[skitter-smack]

pro tip for scizor owners: get building blocks, especially the ones that are hollow and have holes in them so the scizor can slider their claws in. They love that shit. They love just picking things up. I am giving my brother’s Scizor building blocks and he’s just stacking them.

Literally just give your scizor anything to pick up, so long as it’s not easy to break (older scizors will understand how to hold things gently but like…giving them something that could pierce or get everywhere still isn’t a risk you should take) they will be so entertained. Bonus points if there’s something inside like a treat they have to find a way to get the treat out.

[skitter-smack]

Honestly I thought I was gonna do competitive for a very long time—I fucking kicked ass at it.

And then I just. Got tired ig. I went back, finished my last two years of high school, filed for emancipation and then I went to Kalos to deal with college! 👍 I don’t know if I’d ever want to adventure again lmao I’ve CONSIDERED. Exploring Kalos. But since I’m not associated with Professor Sycamore anymore I think I’m just gonna keep up with the astrophysics major. My joints are too shitty anyways.

Loved adventuring, never again though. Most trainers I know have that same sentiment. /silly

So, uh, what do those of you who do the whole... adventure thing actually intend to do once that, you know, stops? It's gonna eventually. So, like, you have thought about that at least a little bit, right?

[skitter-smack]

good morning to fat bitches, trans women, cyclizar racers, porygon, birdmon specialists, people with NPD, and not Harte. The rest of you….you’re on your own

[skitter-smack]

Any skilled trainer who says they’ve never been hurt by their own pokemon, even a minor injury, is just outright lying. You will get hurt, you will fuck up, you will fuck up with your pokemon too. That is par for the course, and you will grow from it.

[skitter-smack]

shoutout to all the girls who sneeze as soon as they arrive at the hotel

[skitter-smack]

You are my favorite old man mutual <3

Out of sheer curiosity... I can't help but wonder what others' opinions on myself and my business are. Be honest, please, your feedback is important.

[skitter-smack]

You’re only food for the bugs.

[skitter-smack]

can you all be more respectful towards johtoni people and our practices. yes this includes azalea town. can you all stop believing we’re backwater kantonians. can you do that. thanks.

[skitter-smack]

I think they should give the tapus 100 dollars for every golf course built on alola