#fingers crossed i didn't butcher ayato's character

[sohyuki]

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FAULT LINES

TO: @hamayumis

gemstone. ayato + onyx

genre/warnings. angst, arguing, implied that reader is shorter than ayato, mentions of war.

PART OF TEYVAT GEMOLOGY.

Kamisato Ayato has always lived life the same way gamblers do: recklessly. But not without reason – Recklessness on its own is foolhardy. Calculated recklessness is a game.

Being the heir to a noble clan, Ayato has always been taught that certainty breeds victory. Having control over every piece on the chessboard guarantees his win, knowing the cards in his opponents hands is the most desired situation. This is the route he's been taught to take, the route that keeps him safe. Certainty breeds victory. Always predict the movement of your enemies, always know and hear everything.

(Always be right.)

But despite the best efforts of his parents and tutors and clan, Kamisato Ayato grew up to be a child who gambled with fate – Tipping the scales to his enjoyment, showing his hand while concealing his bluffs. Each dice roll across the board is a stroke of excitement, each pawn taken down is a wave of satisfaction.

The day you storm into his study, with your blood and grime and mud stained armour, Ayato realises that his meddling and gambling with the game of fate might become his undoing.

“How dare you! How dare you, Kamisato Ayato!”

“My, my, aren’t we spirited today.” he greets, fingers brushing against the flower arrangement by the windowsill.

“We were on the cusp of victory,” you snarl, “I was on the cusp of victory. How dare you pull me from my post!"

Ayato turns towards the window, “Victory is a variable, my dear. There was no guarantee that you were going to win that battle. Reinforcements from Fort Fujitou could have reached the plains a minute quicker or the fatigue could have spread within your own camp earlier than you anticipated.”

He hears your padded feet storm towards him. He wants to turn around, he wants to take you into his arms and just breathe but your laboured breaths echo in the silence of his study and Ayato can see the fault lines forming with each second that passes.

You heave in a breath. The air in the room shifts. He feels the dip, the ebb and flow of energy, power, divinity as your visions collide with each other. Ayato knows, if he were to turn around now, he would come face to face with Inazuma's Shikigami General.

"My duty lies with the people, with Inazuma and its sanctity. You have never been to the frontlines, you have not fought in this war or in any war. Wars are not won from the comfort of a study nor are they won in a gamble – War is won when the soldiers believe in their leader, when they are certain that their commander will bring them home to their husbands and wives and children."

You pause then. A beat passes. And then he hears you whisper. "I was their certainty. Kamisato Ayato, you have sent my men to their graves."

"I have done no such thing," he says, "General Kujou is at the frontlines as well and she is one of the most accomplished military officers currently in service."

"Kujou Sara is honorable but she will not be able to win that battle."

"And neither would you."

(Another shift. Another dip. The pendant between your shoulder blades flares.)

"You don't know that! You may think you know all the cards but you don't! I could have done it, I could have conquered Fort Fujitou!"

"Dearest."

"Don't call me that. Don't call me that when you have insulted and demeaned my position. I am a general of the imperial army before I am anything to you!"

A cord snaps. The axis of his vision shifts from the scenery outside the window to your surprised eyes, still brimming with hurt. He hears the gasp leave you, hears the thud of your body against the wall, the rustle of your clothes, the chatter of his servants outside the window, the quietness of his study. He feels the worn wood beneath his gloves, the rise and fall of your chest against his, the shiver that trails down his back when your breath hits his neck, the hate in your glare, the shift in the air, the ebbing and flowing.

“I am trying to protect you,” he growls, hands pinned on either side of your head, “I am trying… to make sure you come home. Alive.”

(Another dip. Another shift. His divinity calls out to you.)

When your fingers curl into his hair, slowly, cautiously, Ayato feels the cord in his chest weave itself again. When he lets his forehead fall to your shoulder, Ayato feels the ebb and flow recide. When you kiss the tip of his ear and then the curve of his neck, Ayato feels the air still. And then he confesses like the sinner he knows he is.

"I cannot lose another person. I cannot lose you. You are honorable and brave and the most stunning general Inazuma will ever see but I– can't. I have lived through too many deaths; my heart, do not make me live through yours. I'm sorry I hindered your victory, I'm sorry to the families who will never receive their husbands and sons and fathers because of my fears. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but please–"

(Please let me be selfish.)