#findancial dependency

[sanctuaryroses]

Reasons abusers abuse

They like getting to make the decisions without having to consider someone elses opinion.

If their partner works they get access to her money as well. Double the income.

Gets to decide how the children are raised without ever directly dealing with them.

Free emotional caretaker that will always put him first no matter how she feels.

Access to sex whenever he feels like it because she will be to afraid to say no.

She will go do free household labour without daring to question why its divided that unfairly.

He gets to decide the narrative or what the truth is.

He likes playin god.

Theres tangible, touchable "benefits" abusers get from being abusive, abusers often dont think of their partner as an person, they see her as a pretty thing to use. Shes exchangeable. Anyone is exchangeable to an abuser. The one thing they suffer when a victim leaves is that the thing they thought they had full control over is suddenly human and he cant do anything about it, it threatens his ideal of always having control and being in charge, it shows he literally cant do what he does when she leaves, proving he doesnt have that ultimate control. Which is what then hurts abusers so much about someone theyve abused leaving.

The reason abusers often will not change is because to them .. they arent looking for love, or an relationship or smth seriously bonded, they want someone to use and exploit - and when it comes to this theyve done exactly what they need to do to achieve that. Their plan is working, their getting what they want.

Which is why an abuser wont change until what he wants out of relationships changes, and most abusers are so satisfied with their current way of being they will actually never change.