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☣︎ Demons of The Darkened Mist ☣︎
☣︎ Pairing: Jeong Yunho x female reader ☣︎ Word count: 6 k ☣︎ Warnings ☣︎ - cursing, mentions of death, injury, mentions of blood
☣︎ Summary: When the world was consumed by dark mist you got separated by the love of your life, Yunho. The survivor camp they sent you to was harsh and unbearable, but Yunho came and rescued you, the two of you then join Hongjoong’s crew which turns out to be challenging. Despite the angelic person he used to be, the dark world changes Yunho into someone you don’t recognize anymore.
Your bond, however, remains strong in a world scarce of hope and fragile trust, but will your bond actually prevail?
☣︎ A/N: Well, hello. Soo, this happened. My first Yunho ff lmao. I want to mention a few things before reading. It is a story that is part of the same world that I wrote with Hongjoong, but it can be read separately because they are kinda different stories. But I recommend Hongjoong's part as well because they are still connected and we can figure some things out from a different perspective. I hope it is not too confusing tho, I tried to put together the pieces. I might write San's story as well and if I get inspired then the others too. One last thing. Listen to IU's Love Wins All with the lyrics, because it describes their story so perfectly and it plays a huge part in the story (you'll see). *sorry for the mistakes* That is all. Byeee!
☣︎ Whispers of The Darkened Mist ☣︎ (Hongjoong's part)
When it happened, I was sitting in the college cafeteria with the love of my life. It happened quickly and we barely had time even to process it. The low sound of the sirens was the first thing we noticed. Hadn't paid much attention to it. But when we heard the voice of our headmistress, saying we needed to go to the hall where the opening ceremonies were held, that was the moment we started to get, that something was very wrong.
They did not let us go home or anywhere. We were closed up in the hall with hundreds of other students and our teachers. They did not tell us anything, they only told us we were not allowed to go outside. The signal on our phones was dead, we couldn't contact our relatives. Not like I had anyone to contact. Jeong Yunho was the only one for me and he was sitting next to me, so I wasn't concerned about my loved ones, mine was already by my side.
All of us were confused and some of us started to panic, was the end of the world coming to hunt us down?
Exactly that happened. I was sitting on the floor against the cold wall of the hall, Yunho, sitting next to me, his heavy head on my shoulder as he was dozing in and out of the real world. His blonde hair spread on my shoulder like a glory. He looked so angelic sleeping, his cheeks a little blushed, his veiny hands interlaced with mine. We were waiting for some reassurance from outside, some positivity that everything was alright, we were hoping they were going to tell us it was just a test and we passed so we could go home. But it never came. And I started to be uncertain of things. Especially when I saw the teachers whisper around each other with concern on their faces. I assumed then something was wrong, and I was sure when some figures with scary gas masks came into the hall, with weapons in their hands. Yunho snapped his head up at that and looked at me with questioning eyes as he squeezed my hand. I squeezed his hand back as he pulled me close to his chest. At least we were together.
But not for long. Those people with the gas masks separated us. I found myself in a room full of girls, away from Yunho, who was solely the only person that was by my side, that I could count on. And now they took him from me. I didn't know if I could see him anymore.
The masked men told us what was happening outside. The world was doomed. It was slowly consumed by dark mist that simply killed people within a few minutes.
The air was unbreathable outside. The only thing that made people's system work, was now gone. The air that was a pillar point of human life, that made humans live, now turned into the toxic air, that killed humans. How ironic was this? Something that once made you alive, now gasping for air that once saved you simply finished you.
They gave us gas masks; it was warm and it was stinking of steel and something I couldn't recognize. But it saved me and I was thankful for that because I needed to survive to find Yunho. Yunho was the reason I wanted to survive.
We were on a school bus when they told us we were going to a survivor camp, away from the population and they were going to train us to defeat the smoke that was spreading unstoppably. I didn't know if that was even possible. To defeat something that was in the air. It wasn't even a disease that could be cured. It was something unreachable for us people, so how could they expect us to defeat something we couldn't reach?
But with time I figured out their purpose. It was training us to survive. Survive until perhaps the mist disappears which can occur in years or even decades. We couldn't know. We only knew that we had to fight and train so that someday the world would return to its normal cycle.
Hope was a cruel thing. It made you keep going, it did not let you choose to give up. It was always there in the back of your mind, laying low, whispering to you things that were slowly impossible to happen. It was like a demon that possessed you. It took over and started to control you. We called it the survivor instinct.
That was why I understood why Yunho slayed down those men and women with his bare hands. The demon took over, it was buried deep down in his soul. But it was always there. I knew it was there he just hid it so well that I almost forgot it existed. When he started to punch those people we met and attacked us, I did not recognize my love. He turned into a monster and it was unstoppable until all of them were lying numb on the floor, their faces covered in blood, their chests not moving, their mounts open as their last move was gasping for air, that never reached their lungs.
People's fate depended on the mist that had permission to lurk in our lungs if we let it, or on our kind that slayed each other mercilessly not even caring we should fight together, not against each other. But four years were long, people started to adjust to this new and dark world.
It was always dark, the black mist surrounded us everywhere. There were a few places where it couldn't reach, but those were already taken by powerful people. And if you don't find an ally that has a safe place to hide in. You were doomed. You had no chance.
Kim Hongjoong and his crew saved us with Yunho. We were running away from the smoke that chased us unstoppably. The smoke was spreading slowly at the beginning, it left us some time to escape from it, but after a while, there wasn’t any place to run. Then we needed masks, that we lost somewhere along the way as Yunho was pulling me by my hand, making me keep going, running away from the mysterious demon that chased us.
We escaped the survivor camp together after one year of training there. We were in two separate survivor camps when Yunho found out where I was. Yunho was restless to find me. So, I was. It was empty without him; I barely could keep up. The camp was tough and they made us work so hard there were times when we collapsed on the floor, our strength leaving us. It was like military training but with the masks on. And it was more difficult doing it with the thing that saved you but at the same time made it harder to breathe and move. They taught us how to survive with physical but also mental training. They prepared us for the world mentally so we wouldn’t give up on our lives. There were times when I wanted to give up. But the thoughts of Yunho being alive and the moments when he appeared in my dreams encouraged me to keep going and to survive for him. I was determined to do so.
Then Yunho found me on a cold night outside, a mask covering his handsome face only his eyes visible, that I missed so much, I almost forgot how he looked. I was the guard that night on the west side of the building. I didn't recognize him at first, one year could change you, not only physically but mentally. Yunho looked more buffed than the last time I saw him. And his hair was black now. It made him more intimidating. The angelic Yunho I knew was gone. He was working so hard and it was visible on his body. He was wearing the green uniform like the men were wearing with gas masks, brown military boots, and a gun hanging from his shoulder.
He leaned down as he held me by my shoulders to steady me, preventing me from hitting him in the face. "It's me, angel. Yunho." He whispered as he looked behind him a little stressed, afraid of being caught.
I gasped, my mouth hanging open invisible through the mask. My heart started to race. After one year, I gave up hoping to see Yunho again. The light that kept me going was fading away slowly. But Yunho came in time, just as always. Giving me back the light I craved, which always kept me alive, even before the world wrapped into darkness.
"Oh my God, I thought I was never going to see you again." Tears flowed down my cheeks against my will, as I hugged him strong, wrapping my hands around his neck as he circled my waist lifting me. I teared up but I just didn't want to seem weak. But seeing him again made me feel relieved and I felt like I could breathe again, even though my lungs hadn't felt fresh air for a year now.
"I was sure I was going to find you, my angel." He pulled away a little and brushed my cheek with his hand where the mask showed a little skin as he looked at me with so much caring in his eyes. I knew I was between the right arms. "I'm proud of you for not giving up, I know it was hard for you." He leaned close to me his mask meeting mine as he leaned against my forehead, our lips could not meet but it immediately made my freezing heart melt into water that instantly flowed down my cheeks.
I just took his hand that cupped my cheek and closed my eyes, taking in his presence. "I'm grateful, Yun. I was so scared without you, but you were always in my heart and made me keep going." I nuzzled my masked face into his warm palms, that I missed so much.
He smiled at me genuinely as he pecked my cheek through the mask. "Let's get out of here." He said as he grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the exit of the camp that was a great shelter for one year. But a new chapter started and it was now with the most important person in my life and it did not matter where our way led us until we were together. We knew it was going to be difficult fighting against the world but we were facing challenges together and that was what mattered. We held each other's hands and ran away into the misty world to find a safe place so we could survive.
Running was what we always did since that day. We ran hand in hand not letting the other go, encouraging the other if one of us wanted to give up. And we ran on the day as well when Hongjoong found us. They offered shelter for us. We were so grateful for them. We didn't understand why they took us in, they probably pitied us, or even saw the strong survivor instinct in us and took us in, as we slowly became part of the crew. For three years now.
They were some determined people. Everyone had their job, and they took it seriously. I did not want to stay there, but Yunho insisted on staying there as they were our only chance to survive.
Their leader was a scary person, it was hard to make him calm down. But a girl, whose name was Soohee, always succeeded in quieting the man down. She was a little rebellious as she did not always obey his commands. And it broke Hongjoong one day. It made him realize it was hard to lead this many people alone. He needed Soohee by his side and it made them powerful leaders. Just as the whole crew. We were feared by the survivors.
I was sitting in the single bed we shared with Yunho in the bunker that was made out of concrete, the walls cold and dusty. The room was dark, only a little lamp lighted it up. I was sketching in a black notebook that I found in an abandoned mall in the crashed city we were staying in for a while. I was so glad I found something that reminded me of my past life. Drawing was my savior back then. I was an arts major in college and it always set me free when I could draw something. I was good at reading people's expressions and emotions by only looking at them for seconds. Drawing the emotions of people made me forget the painful feelings that suffocated me all the time. My past was difficult and it made me grow weaker over the years. No one was there to save me. I was an orphan my whole life, I didn’t know my parents, let alone my relatives. But when Yunho came into my life, I saw the light at the end of the dark tunnel.
When Yunho came into our shared room with an angry expression on his face, I was drawing him, it was a portrait of him, his features sharp just as his gaze that stared into my eyes deadly. At least one side of his was like the devil, he even had a horn on the top of his right side, his eyes as dark as the mist that haunted us. The other side of him was like an angel. A half glory was shining above his head, his eyes illuminated, his pupils gone.
I illustrated the past and the present Yunho. Back then he was an angel who would never hurt anyone, he always made compromises, so it was good for everyone. But in the present where the dark mist was full of our demons, he changed. He was nothing like the old Yunho. He was capable of destroying the already destroyed world. He was capable of killing innocent people just because he needed something from them. He was capable of anything just to keep the people we met, that became slowly our family, to protect them no matter what. And I understood why was he like this. But sometimes I did not know if it was the same Yunho I fell in love with. This destroyed world made us do things we would've never done in our past life. And I guessed it was because survival was the most important thing in this empire and that made us do things that our past selves would be ashamed of.
Yunho sat next to me a little frustrated running his hand through his black hair. He was wearing a leather-like jacket teared up on the sleeves, with black pants and his black boots. He wasn't himself these days. He seemed lost and it made my heart break. I knew the people he killed that day, haunted him in his nightmares. There were times when he woke up in the middle of the night sweating and breathing heavily as he curled up to me for some comfort.
Five years ago, when the world was normal, he was the one who saved me from my demons. Now, it was my time to save him. I wanted to help, but he showed me his vulnerable side only when he woke up nearly crying in the middle of the night. The next day he pretended like nothing happened and it made me think he did not trust me anymore.
"What's wrong Yun? You don't seem like yourself these days." I said a little worried as he leaned his head on my shoulder leaving a chaste kiss on the crook of my neck.
He sighed. "What do you mean?" He snapped his head up to look at me a little triggered.
"You seem…lost." I averted my gaze from his sharp eyes.
"I'm okay." He scoffed as he pulled up his long legs to his chest, not caring about the sheets that he dirtied with his boots.
"Why are you lying? It's me, you can tell me." I looked next to me as he leaned his head against the concrete looking up at the ceiling.
He scoffed again. "I'm not fucking lying, Y/N. I'm okay. Why do you push this topic all the time?" His frustrated gaze met mine. Here it was that look again. The look of trying to seem like everything was alright. He tried to hide his demons from me, but he just couldn't. I knew him like the back of my palm, he could never lie to me. "I just came here to be with you a little, because you always hide here and you just always come up with this shit. I'm tired of this Y/N." He looked at me like I was a nobody. And it hurt.
"I'm just trying to talk to you because you are not yourself Yunho. Why can't you just let me help you?" My voice raised as I started to feel angry.
"I don't need your fucking help!" He said nearly shouting it at my face as he stood up walking from left to right. Those words went right into my soul, making it darken with venom that was eating me up from inside.
I looked up at him, my eyes following his triggered figure. "Why can't you just fucking look at me and talk to me like I'm a normal person?" I stood up from the bed. "I know you are not fucking okay. The nights when you wake up from your nightmares prove it, but you just pretend like nothing fucking happened."
He stood in front of me, his tall figure hovering over me as he shouted. "Because nothing fucking happened."
I scoffed. "Okay, you can't be helped. I'm sick of you pretending like everything is okay up there." I pointed at my temple. "I tried, I really tried to be next to you and support you, but if you don't let me in, I can't fucking do anything." My voice came out a little stumbled as I started to feel like I could cry at any moment.
"I don't see why the hell you are telling me these things. I am alright I just want us to survive, but you just can't get the fact I would do anything to protect you." He stepped closer to me his face beyond my personal space, as his voice raised more and more.
"I know, I fucking know. I saw it when you killed those people right in front of me." I shouted back to his face.
He seemed stunned for a second like the memories of him killing those people flashed in front of his eyes. "Those people would've killed us if I wouldn't have killed them."
"I don't recognize you anymore. Where is the old lovely Yunho?" Tears welled up in my eyes.
"The old Yunho is fucking dead. You have to love me like this or just don't. It's your choice." He was cruel. How could he say those things?
"Okay, well I can't be with someone who just can't let me in and trust me," I said feeling empty all of a sudden. I closed my emotions out; they had no place to be there at that moment.
He just looked back and forth between my eyes, contemplating if I was serious. When he realized I was, he just turned with a scoff saying "Fuck this, I'm out." And slammed the door shut, its noise breaking my heart into pieces. I just fell on my knees and stared at the dusty floor. I couldn't cry, my emotions went out with Yunho on the door hoping they were going to come back.
That day Yunho, San, Jongho, and Soohee went out to set up some traps for whom might attack us. Yunho didn't even look at me when Hongjoong told them to go out. He looked cold and numb to any feelings. So, I just let him be, he might get some "fresh air" outside and come back to his senses.
They came without any warnings. Yunho and the other were away for two hours now. Their staying out shouldn't have lasted that long, but we couldn't get in contact with them through the radio we always communicated with. The line was silent and we started to get worried.
But we had no time to think about what might have happened to them. Our base got attacked and there was chaos everywhere. All of us tried to defend the base that was our home for so long. We just couldn’t lose it. The guys that attacked us were all masked and well-armed. They were strong and we had just no chance at all. They were more in number than us. But we couldn't give up. I was fighting with my full power giving in all of the knowledge I learned throughout the years. A guy came and attacked me with a fucking sword. How could they even find something like that? I had two daggers that I could use quickly and hadn't left time for the other to even think. I quickly dodged the big sword that nearly sliced my throat. I bent down and quickly cut his calves. He fell on his knees in no time and I just quickly sliced his throat without any thoughts. Then there were more. They never seemed to run out of people. They just came and came and we fought with our hearts not letting them break through our defending line.
Some of us got hurt, and Hongjoong got stabbed in the back but he fought further like he wasn't even injured, like a real warrior. Then Seonghwa, Hongjoong's best friend revenged him by taking the sword in his hands, that was on the floor, and slicing the guy's head down who dared to stab his friend in the back.
It was chaos, Mingi was on the floor unconscious, and Yeosang tried to drag him out of the war that was in the big hall of our base. I looked around for a second and everyone seemed like losing the fight. All of us were on the floor covered in blood. Two guys came to attack me at the same time and I just had no chance at all. It was a bloodbath, it looked like a battlefield, the enemy close to victory, and we just couldn't do anything.
Just until these other guys came out of the blue. They started to slice down the enemy, they helped us. And we did not know why, but we fought alongside them and killed the enemy one by one. I couldn't breathe. I was lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling and thinking of my beloved Yunho. His face appeared before my eyes and suddenly I felt at ease knowing him by my side. I needed him. He was my oxygen but he wasn't by my side. How could someone breathe without any oxygen? There was no way. And then blackness swallowed me as I fell into a cold and dark hole.
When I tried to open my eyes, I saw white. It blinded me and I couldn't fully open my eyes. The ceiling was blurry and as I started to recognize the noises of our base, was the moment when I started to feel my body. It was screaming at me from pain. My head was aching so hard when I sat up, that I needed to hold my head in my hands and scream. The demons inside my mind have woken and wanted to escape. I breathed heavily when a particular noise hit my ears. It was the beeping sound of a machine, copying the unsure beats of a heart. I looked towards my right side and Yunho was lying on a bed the machine connected to his arms, a respirator on his mouth that helped him breathe—I didn't even know we had equipment like this—I understood now, why everyone wanted this base.
It was horrible and I gasped in shock when I saw him in a motionless position. I screamed his name out loud when I stood up immediately, but my legs went numb under me and I collapsed on the floor my hands reaching towards Yunho as tears rolled down my face. I started to crawl next to Yunho on the floor as my legs just couldn't work from the sudden shock that hit me like a train.
"Hey, hey, Y/N slow down!" I heard a soft voice coming from my side as two hands slowly lifted me from the dirty ground, holding me still like a strong pillar.
"Yunho," My voice cracked as I was crying my soul out. After all, my soulmate was lying unconscious and I did not know what happened to him. Because I wasn't by his side.
"Calm down, Y/N, he is going to be okay." The soft voice came again and I looked up to the face that belonged to the arms that held me strong. It was Seonghwa. He was nearly as tall as Yunho as I needed to look up at him. His sharp features now softened and his eyes were full of worry and empathy. His long black hair fell into his eyes, his plump lift curled down like he was trying not to cry, to show me he was strong.
"Wh-what happened with him?" I asked my voice getting weak.
"They…they found an airplane while they were outside. And they thought it was a good idea to drive it…they crashed into the ocean." Seonghwa's features were frustrated like he couldn’t believe they were so idiot to drive a fucking plane that they just found. It was stupid—I bet it was Yunho's idea.
"And how is he?" I buried my head into Seonghwa's chest not daring to look towards Yunho. It hurt seeing him like this. It made my already shattered heart break more.
"He's…he's in a coma. You two were out for two days already. It was like you were connected." I started to cry harder when I heard Seonghwa's trembling voice throughout his chest. "The nerves in his brain got injured severely and it put him into a coma. It's a defense mechanism of our body, it's better for him like this like suffering while he is conscious. He is going to wake up, we just need to wait for him, hm?" He pulled away from me and cupped my face leaning down. "You have to be by his side and help him through it. We are also here for you, okay?" He wiped my tears away as he looked at me softly.
I just nodded breathing in and out. I needed to put myself together for Yunho. I wanted to help him. "I'm going to get you some food, Yeosang made your favorite." He smiled at me, trying to breathe some life into me. He succeeded and I couldn't be thankful enough for him. I held his hands that cupped my face and closed my eyes.
"Thank you Seonghwa, seriously. I don't know what would we do without you." I looked up at him with a thankful smile.
"You guys would probably be dead by now. I could not count the occasions I saved yall's asses." He said as he walked towards the door. He was our crew’s medic; he was always there to take care of us. I smiled at him and watched as he left the room with one last encouraging smile.
From then on, I did not leave Yunho's side. I was sleeping beside him, whenever my thoughts were so overwhelming it knocked me out. Or I just sketched him into my notebook laying there in the bed not moving at all. The beeping sound of the machine slowly drove me crazy as sometimes I groaned at the noise and I wanted to crash it into pieces but then it would kill Yunho so I just started to doodle angrily into my notebook. There were occasions when I talked to him, letting him know my thoughts and telling him what was happening in the bunker while he was unconscious. Everyone missed him.
It was already two weeks since the accident. Yunho was still lying unconscious. It turned out a girl saved them, as she was right at the beach when they crashed and she pulled out some information from an unconscious San so she could call help for them. I knew the girl. It happened for us to be at the same survivor camp, she was a determined and unstoppable girl and I knew she was going to survive this cruel world. She was always distant from us in the camp, she did not let anyone close and I understood. She just didn’t want to see how her friends were going to die. So, she needed to keep up a wall that separated her from disappointments. She saved Yunho's and the other's lives and I was grateful for her.
Jongho and San made it out with smaller injuries just as well as Soohee. I wasn't angry at them for surviving but why Yunho needed to suffer the consequences? Why he couldn’t just wake up so I could hug him finally and ask for an apology for arguing with him about things that didn't even make sense? We were both tired and the glass was full it overflowed our boundaries and we both broke.
As I was looking at Yunho's soft features sitting beside his bed on a chair, while he was struggling inside his mind, fighting down his demons, his face in this state reminded me of the old Yunho I fell in love with. His lips slightly curled up even in his sleeping state his muscles relaxed, the worrying expression that always seemed to be on his face recently, now gone.
An old memory of ours popped up in my mind as I watched his soft features.
I was filming Yunho with my video camera as we were walking around the streets of Tokyo. We decided to go on a trip with the two of us so we could spend some time together. It was dreamlike. It was spring, and the weather was still chilly a little. The cherry blossoms just started to bloom, and the petals of the flowers that already withered fell on the ground making it look like a rain full of pink petals. Yunho was wearing a brown long coat with blue jeans and black Converse shoes. His hair was dyed blonde making his features look softer. He looked like he came straight out of a K-drama. He smiled at me through my camera as I filmed him, the rain pouring at us as he held an umbrella in his hands, coming towards me with a pouting face because I had no umbrella. He held it above me and stood beside me, the umbrella giving us both shelter from the rain as we stood in a walking street. He leaned down and kissed me happily. I felt like my heart would explode from how happy I felt at that moment.
Then Yunho saw a karaoke bar and of course, we needed to go in, because he loved to sing. His voice was soft and made me feel at ease like I was in the best place I could ever be. No matter where I was until I was by his side.
I smiled at him as he was standing in front of me with a microphone in his hands, smiling at me as I sat on the couch that was in the karaoke room.
"Dearest, darling, my universe. Would you take me along?" He started to sing sweetly, his eyes boring into mine, and I was blushing the whole time.
"Far away in the universe from Earth to Mars. Will you please go with me?" He reached his hands towards me as an invitation I smiled at him and took his hand.
"Run away from the world, run on. Go to the end with me, my lover." We sang together, as our voices melted into each other's. He held my hand, the microphone between us as we sang, his eyes looking at me with passion and with love.
"Give me a lovelier kiss, lover. Love is all, love is all. Love, lovе, love, love" Our voice got higher and higher as we sang, smiling into it when my voice cracked a bit. I felt like I might cry right there, because of how much he meant to me.
I found myself singing the song that made our love bloom into a mesmerizing cherry blossom, that never withered, as I looked down at Yunho’s unmoving figure.
"In the еnd, even though. How is it us? For us?" I started to sing quietly, my voice barely coming out. "Run away from the world, run on. Go to the end with me, my lover. Will it be a bad ending for us two, gone astray?" Tears fell down my cheeks like raindrops when the lyrics made so much sense. Was it the end of us? "Run away from necessity, run on. Go to the end with me, my lover." I held Yunho's hands as my sad tears fell on our hands. I closed my eyes.
"Give me a lovelier kiss, lover." A weak voice sang the song that wasn't mine. "Our love wins all, love wins all." I snapped my eyes open and I saw Yunho looking at me with a weak and soft feature. And I started to cry harder. I jumped to the bed and on Yunho who groaned from the sudden impact. I was lying on top of him as I buried my head into his chest.
"You are here," I whispered as I still couldn't believe he woke up.
"Of course, I'm here angel." His voice was weak from the lack of speaking. I felt his hands traced up and down my back to calm me down.
"I was so scared, Yun." I lifted my head to look into his eyes. He smiled at me sweetly.
"I know, I'm here now. Come here." I scooted up, close to him as he sat up against the headboard and I straddled his legs.
I traced my fingertip on his features that I did so many times while he was unconscious, but it was different, because he looked full of life, like sunshine. My sunshine. "I'm so sorry Yunho for pushing you all the time. It was obvious you wanted to handle your feelings your own and I just didn't let you. I'm—"
"Hey, angel," His finger traced my lips to make me quiet. "I was stupid, okay? It was selfish of me, for pushing you away. I do trust you and I do love you; I was just an idiot who seemed to slowly lose himself…Forgive me please." He whispered those last words as his fingers still brushed my lips and it gave him comfort.
"It's okay, we will fight through it together, okay? After all, love wins all nah?" I smiled at him sweetly as he giggled.
"Love wins all, my angel." He whispered as he leaned closer to my lips.
And when our lips met, I felt like the world just healed and we were free to go out without a mask to breathe fresh air. Because he was my oxygen, he gave me the strength to fight the demons that haunted us in the dark mist. His hands wandered down to my waist as he pulled me impossibly closer to him, I wrapped my hands around his neck and deepened the kiss. His lips brushed against mine passionately like we were separated for an eternity. It did seem like it was an eternity. I learned my lesson and I knew I couldn't be apart from Yunho for even a second.
So, we are going to keep running hand in hand, running away from the venomous mist, or stopping to fight with the demons inside it. It didn't matter until we were together and the world was back to its normal phase.
But will the world ever go back to how it was before?
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To Win a Princess (lion's pride)
- Summary: Once you come of age, the realm seeks to curry the King's favor once more by seeking a hand of his younger daughter. You.
- Pairing: targ!reader/Tyland Lannister
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Previous part: her choice
- Next part: the eclipse of the alliance
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround
The Red Keep bustles with the arrival of House Lannister, their crimson and gold banners vivid against the stone walls as they make their way through the courtyard. The air is filled with the sounds of their retinue—servants unloading carriages, horses stamping and whinnying, guards and courtiers murmuring among themselves. At the front of the procession stands Lord Jason Lannister, resplendent in his House’s colors, his face set with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as he scans the familiar halls of the Keep.
When he finally spots Tyland waiting near the entrance, Jason’s eyes narrow with something between amusement and disbelief. Striding forward, he clasps his twin’s arm, a wry smile pulling at his lips.
“Well, well, brother,” Jason says, his voice a mixture of humor and astonishment. “You can imagine my surprise when a raven arrived with the King’s sigil, announcing that my twin is soon to marry a Targaryen princess.” He pauses, studying Tyland’s face with a knowing look. “Quite the leap from your usual… discretion.”
Tyland allows himself a faint smile, inclining his head in greeting. “It appears I’ve given you a story worth telling, then,” he replies smoothly, though there’s a glint in his eyes that hints at his own amusement. “I suppose I owe you an explanation.”
“More than an explanation, Tyland,” Jason says, shaking his head in mock disbelief. “The entire family has been buzzing about it. You, silent as ever, suddenly engaged to the youngest Targaryen—without a single word of warning! Did you think we wouldn’t notice, or were you planning to keep it hidden until the wedding feast itself?”
Tyland chuckles softly, gesturing for Jason to follow as they step into a quieter alcove away from the throng of courtiers. “It was… an unexpected turn, even for me,” he admits, his tone more serious now. “But the choice was hers as much as mine. The King approved, and in time, the family will see the advantages of this union.”
Jason raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he regards Tyland with a mixture of intrigue and skepticism. “Advantages, indeed. Our House allied by marriage to the Crown, Tyland? A match like this would have been beyond any Lannister’s expectations, and yet you moved in silence.”
Tyland’s gaze remains steady, his voice calm. “Silence was necessary. The choice was not to be made in haste or under pressure from outside forces. The princess and I… we wished for the freedom to choose without the weight of expectation or interference.”
Jason watches him closely, his expression shifting from curiosity to something more thoughtful. “You care for her,” he says, the surprise in his tone now tempered with understanding. “This isn’t just a matter of alliance or ambition.”
Tyland inclines his head, his expression softening just slightly. “She is someone I respect deeply, Jason. Someone who values loyalty and trust as much as we do. I may not have spoken of it before, but the bond we share is… something that could not be ignored.”
Jason lets out a low chuckle, clapping Tyland on the shoulder. “Well, I’ll be damned. Tyland Lannister, swept off his feet by a Targaryen princess. I thought I’d seen it all.”
Tyland smirks, a hint of mischief in his gaze. “It seems I managed to surprise you, then. Perhaps that alone was worth keeping it a secret.”
Jason laughs, shaking his head. “I’ll admit, you’ve left me speechless. But Tyland, you must know—our family will expect a certain… presence, now that this match is public. Your bride is a Targaryen, after all. They’ll look to you to represent us in this union.”
Tyland nods, understanding the weight of his brother’s words. “I intend to honor that, Jason. But I also intend to honor her. Our union is not simply an opportunity for the family to push its interests. It’s a bond of respect, one I won’t allow to be diminished by those who only see the value in politics.”
Jason’s expression softens, a rare flicker of pride appearing in his gaze. “You’re doing well, Tyland. Better than any of us could have expected.” He pauses, his voice growing more serious. “But be wary. Not everyone at court will accept this match as eagerly as we do. Some see you as a rival, and this union may provoke resentment.”
Tyland’s eyes harden, his voice calm but resolute. “I am prepared for that, Jason. Those who oppose this match will find little support in House Lannister.” He pauses, meeting his brother’s gaze. “And I trust I have your support, brother.”
Jason smirks, a glint of pride mingling with his humor. “You have more than my support, Tyland. You have my admiration—for once, you’ve taken a bold step, and the family will see the strength in it soon enough.”
Tyland nods, a small, satisfied smile pulling at his lips. “Then let’s show them what it means to have a Lannister banner in the Red Keep. We’ve made our mark here, Jason, and this is only the beginning.”
With that, the two brothers share a look of understanding.
The grand dining hall of the Red Keep is resplendent with flickering candlelight, casting a amber glow over the feast laid out in honor of your upcoming marriage to Tyland. Silver goblets shimmer beside gilded plates, the tables adorned with the finest food and wine in a clear display of royal hospitality. Banners of House Targaryen and House Lannister hang proudly from the walls, intertwining the red dragon of your family with the golden lion of Tyland’s, a visual reminder of the powerful union soon to be sealed.
At the head of the table, King Viserys sits with a contented smile, watching his daughter—his youngest—sit proudly at Tyland’s side. He raises his goblet in a silent toast to the room, his gaze warm and proud as he looks at you, pleased to celebrate this new bond that will strengthen both House Targaryen and House Lannister.
Yet, even amid the merriment, not all expressions are so joyful. Queen Alicent, seated beside Viserys, wears a carefully composed smile, though her gaze flickers between you and Tyland with thinly veiled calculation. Her fingers twist absently around the stem of her goblet, her attention wavering as she observes the glances, touches, and quiet words exchanged between you and your betrothed.
At the other end of the table, Rhaenyra sits beside Laenor Velaryon, her expression one of amusement as she meets Alicent’s gaze, a subtle challenge gleaming in her eyes. She leans slightly toward Laenor, murmuring something that draws a faint chuckle from him, though her eyes never quite leave Alicent.
As Viserys raises his goblet for a formal toast, he clears his throat, his voice carrying easily over the din. “To House Targaryen and House Lannister,” he declares, his tone filled with pride and satisfaction. “This union strengthens our realm, binding fire and gold together in loyalty and alliance.”
The room raises their goblets in response, voices echoing the King’s words, though some toasts are more fervent than others. The lords of the Westerlands, seated prominently among the guests, lift their glasses with enthusiasm, their eyes shining with satisfaction. Jason’s bannermen clearly see this union as a triumph, their presence at the feast a testament to their pride in the alliance.
One of the Lannister bannermen, Lord Lefford, leans across the table, raising his goblet to Tyland with a hearty laugh. “To Lord Tyland! Soon to be son-in-law by marriage to the Dragon King himself! The Westerlands couldn’t be prouder!”
Another Westerlands lord chimes in, his voice carrying over the hall. “This alliance will bring great strength to both Houses! Soon enough, House Lannister’s influence will be felt throughout the realm.”
A flicker of discomfort crosses Viserys’s face as he listens to their boisterous praise. It’s a subtle reminder that, in their eyes, this union is as much a victory for House Lannister as it is for House Targaryen. Viserys glances at Alicent, whose gaze remains fixed on you and Tyland, her expression unreadable but her thoughts undoubtedly sharp and calculating.
Across the table, Otto Hightower’s gaze narrows as he listens to the Westerlands lords, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. Despite his daughter being Queen, he can sense the subtle shift in power, the way these bannermen now see themselves as elevated by their lord’s marriage into the royal family—a union they consider a mark of status that rivals even Alicent’s own position.
Alicent’s gaze sharpens as her eyes dart back to Tyland. Her voice is light but carries a note of tension as she speaks. “I imagine Lord Tyland must feel proud indeed, knowing he is about to become part of such a storied family. I trust the traditions of Casterly Rock will blend seamlessly with those of House Targaryen?”
Tyland inclines his head, his response calm and poised. “It is an honor beyond measure, Your Grace, to join House Targaryen. And yes, I believe that respect, loyalty, and tradition are values both Houses hold dear. I intend to uphold those values in this union.”
Alicent’s eyes flicker with something close to skepticism as she watches him. “How fortunate, then, that you found common ground so easily.” She casts a glance toward you, a faint smile on her lips, though there’s something calculating in her gaze. “I do hope this transition into a new role here at court will be… comfortable for you, stepdaughter.”
Rhaenyra, sensing the undertone in Alicent’s words, lifts her goblet with a faint smirk. “My sister will find her place wherever she wishes to be, I’m sure,” she says, her voice smooth but pointed. “And Tyland’s loyalty will be as steadfast as his House’s wealth, I’ve no doubt.”
A flicker of irritation crosses Alicent’s face, though she quickly masks it, her gaze settling back on Viserys. “Of course,” she murmurs, a note of acquiescence in her tone.
The Westerlands lords, still boisterous and exuberant, continue their toasts, each one louder than the last. Lord Farman, his face flushed with wine, leans over to address Tyland directly. “A Targaryen bride and a Lannister husband! Soon enough, Casterly Rock and the Iron Throne will be bound by blood. It’s a wonder we didn’t think of it sooner.”
Viserys, catching the implication, forces a thin smile, though there’s a subtle stiffness in his voice. “Yes, it seems fate has blessed us with this union. Though let us remember that House Targaryen stands as strong as it ever has.”
Tyland, sensing the unease growing around the table, speaks up, his tone respectful but clear. “Indeed, Your Grace. My loyalty is first and foremost to you and House Targaryen. Our Houses are bound in alliance, but my duty lies here at court.”
Jason Lannister, seated nearby, raises his goblet to his brother with a grin, clearly enjoying the attention being lavished on House Lannister. “Well spoken, Tyland. And rest assured, our bannermen are loyal, as they always have been. We stand by you and by the Crown.”
Otto’s eyes narrow slightly, his lips pressed into a thin line as he watches the exchange. It’s clear he feels the growing presence of the Lannisters keenly, and his gaze flicks to Alicent, whose expression has grown even more strained as the Westerlands lords continue to revel.
Rhaenyra leans over, whispering to you with a hint of a smirk, “It seems House Lannister has certainly seized this opportunity to remind everyone of their… importance.”
You stifle a laugh, casting her an amused glance. “Perhaps they needed little reminder. My betrothal has given them just the excuse they desired.”
Rhaenyra chuckles, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Just wait until they start insisting on golden lion tapestries for the wedding hall. I’m sure Father will be thrilled.”
The atmosphere in the Great Hall continues to be lively, filled with laughter and conversation, when the double doors swing open to admit Daemon Targaryen. He strides in casually, an air of cool confidence surrounding him, but his eyes are sharp, his gaze unwavering as it fixes on a single spot—the place where you sit with Tyland.
His presence draws murmurs from the surrounding tables, a mixture of curiosity and dread following him like a shadow. Daemon is dressed in his usual dark attire, his silver hair falling loosely over his shoulders, and his expression is unreadable, but there’s a glint in his eyes that sends a ripple of unease through the hall.
As he approaches your table, Tyland meets his gaze steadily, his expression courteous yet guarded, aware of the unspoken weight Daemon carries with him. Daemon comes to a stop directly in front of you and Tyland, his mouth twisting into a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Lord Tyland,” Daemon begins smoothly, his voice carrying a strange mixture of amusement and something darker. “I understand congratulations are in order.” He pauses, his gaze flicking briefly to you, then back to Tyland. “You’ve managed to claim something rather… precious.”
Tyland inclines his head, maintaining his composure despite the underlying edge in Daemon’s tone. “Thank you, Prince Daemon. It’s an honor to be welcomed into the family.”
Daemon’s smile widens, though there’s a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Yes, an honor indeed.” He leans forward just slightly, his voice lowering to something barely above a murmur. “But be mindful, Tyland. The weight of the dragon’s favor is not so easily borne. It can burn those who fail to respect its fire.”
You feel Tyland’s hand subtly tighten beneath the table, though his expression remains calm as he responds, his tone respectful yet unyielding. “I am well aware of the weight of my responsibilities, Prince Daemon. And I am prepared to uphold them with all due respect.”
Daemon chuckles softly, though there’s an unmistakable warning in his gaze. “Respect is a fine word, Lord Tyland. Let us hope your actions live up to it.” His gaze flickers to you, a hint of something unreadable in his eyes. “The blood of the dragon does not take kindly to betrayal.”
Before Tyland can respond, a stern voice cuts through the tension, drawing the attention of the entire table. “That’s enough, Daemon.”
King Viserys rises from his seat, his expression a mixture of weariness and quiet authority as he steps forward, fixing his brother with a steady gaze. “This is a celebration,” Viserys says, his voice calm but firm. “Not an opportunity for veiled threats.”
Daemon raises an eyebrow, his expression one of feigned innocence. “Threats, brother? Surely you mistake my intentions. I merely wished to ensure that Lord Tyland fully understands the… gravity of his new position.”
Viserys’s gaze hardens, his tone unyielding. “He understands well enough. And I expect you to respect his position as my daughter’s future husband, Daemon. This union is a matter of family, not rivalry.”
Daemon’s smile fades slightly, a hint of frustration flickering in his eyes as he regards his brother. “As you wish, Your Grace,” he says, inclining his head with a mockery of respect. “Far be it from me to disrupt the harmony of this joyous occasion.”
Viserys holds his gaze a moment longer before nodding, his voice softening as he gestures for Daemon to take a seat elsewhere. “Good. Now, join the celebration… or don’t. But remember that tonight is a time for unity.”
Daemon lingers for a moment, his gaze briefly returning to you and Tyland, his expression unreadable. Then, with a faint, humorless smile, he inclines his head and steps away, finding a seat at a distant corner of the hall. The tension slowly dissipates, though the murmurs of the court remain, curious glances flitting between you, Tyland, and Daemon as the feast resumes.
Tyland turns to you, his gaze softening slightly as he offers a reassuring smile. “It seems our family is as complex as ever.”
You nod, your hand brushing against his beneath the table. “Complex, but no less ours. I am glad to face it with you.”
Rhaenyra, watching the exchange with a knowing smile, leans over and raises her goblet in a quiet toast to you both. “Welcome to the family, Tyland. And to the fire that comes with it.”
Otto Hightower stands near a window of his private chamber, his hands clasped behind his back, his gaze thoughtful and cold as he stares out over the courtyard. Seated nearby, Alicent watches her father carefully, a faint crease of worry on her brow. Across from them sits Gwayne, his arms crossed, his expression sullen and brooding. The sting of watching Tyland take the seat beside you at the high table—your hand officially promised to a Lannister rather than to him—had left him simmering with disappointment and frustration.
Otto finally turns, his face set in a firm, calculating expression as he addresses them both. “This alliance,” he begins, his voice steady but laced with tension, “is no small inconvenience. With this union, the Lannisters will only grow bolder, their influence reaching further into the affairs of the Crown.”
Alicent nods, her expression grim as she considers her father’s words. “I noticed it tonight—how the lords from the Westerlands practically overran the hall, like they already considered themselves at the center of court.” She hesitates, glancing down. “It’s unnerving. House Hightower may have given the realm its Queen, but the Lannisters now believe themselves on equal footing.”
Gwayne scowls, his gaze fixed on a distant point on the wall. “It should have been me,” he mutters, bitterness seeping into his tone. “I could have strengthened the ties between our families. The match with a Lannister does nothing but stir the Westerlands into thinking they’re close to the throne.”
Otto nods, his gaze sharpening as he watches Gwayne. “Indeed, that was precisely what I intended to avoid,” he says, his tone firm. “Your union with the princess would have not only brought her closer to us but also kept Lannister ambitions firmly in the West, away from the Crown.” He pauses, glancing at Alicent. “Instead, we are faced with a growing threat that, if left unchecked, could one day challenge Aegon’s right.”
Alicent’s face tightens at her father’s words, and she clasps her hands tightly in her lap, her knuckles white. “What do we do?” she asks softly, her gaze flickering between her father and her brother. “How do we… contain this influence?”
Otto’s gaze hardens, and he steps forward, his tone cold and deliberate. “We do what we have always done, Alicent. We maintain our position with patience, precision, and careful alliances.” He turns to Gwayne, meeting his gaze firmly. “And Gwayne, you must stay close to the court. The Lannisters may have gained favor for now, but there will be… opportunities yet. You may not sit beside the princess, but your presence and loyalty are still assets.”
Gwayne lets out a low, frustrated sigh, but he nods, his voice laced with resignation. “I understand, Father. I will do my part, even if it is not the one I hoped for.”
Otto regards him with a stern look, his tone carrying a note of warning. “You must, Gwayne. The Lannisters are eager to consolidate their influence, but they underestimate us. They think they have won, but they’ve merely taken the first move. We will not be idle in our response.”
Alicent glances at her father, worry flashing in her eyes. “And what of the King? Viserys seems so… pleased with this match. I doubt he’ll listen if we voice any concerns about the Lannisters gaining too much influence.”
Otto’s mouth tightens, and he shakes his head. “We cannot rely on Viserys to see the long-term implications. His judgment is clouded by his love for his daughter. But in time, he will realize the threat. And by then, we must be ready to present an alternative.” He pauses, his gaze intent on Alicent. “Aegon must remain at the center of his father’s ambitions. He must be seen as the natural successor, the embodiment of the Targaryen legacy.”
Alicent nods slowly, her expression resolute. “I will ensure Aegon remains close to his father, that he stands out, even among the Lannisters and their new position.” She glances at Gwayne, offering a faint, encouraging smile. “And we will both work to counterbalance Tyland’s growing influence.”
Otto places a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Precisely. And remember, this game is won not by rash moves but by careful steps. Let Tyland and his kin bask in their newfound favor, for now. We will be watching, and we will act when the time is right.”
Gwayne, though still visibly frustrated, straightens, nodding in agreement. “Understood, Father. I will wait… but I won’t be idle.”
Otto’s gaze sharpens, a glint of satisfaction flickering in his eyes. “Good. Let the Lannisters think they have risen to power uncontested. In the end, the throne is far more than mere proximity. It is a game of loyalty, of influence—one we’ve been playing long before the lions ventured beyond their hills.”
The soft murmur of courtiers fills the grand halls of the Red Keep as you and Tyland walk hand in hand, the warmth of his touch grounding you as you move together through the crowd. No longer hidden, no longer veiled in secrecy—your union is now a celebrated bond, open for all to see. You feel a sense of freedom, the weight of past whispers and uncertainties lifted, replaced by a joy you never imagined would come from this alliance.
Tyland’s hand tightens slightly around yours, and he glances at you, his gaze softened by affection. “I still find it strange,” he murmurs, his voice low, meant just for you. “Walking through court like this, as if we belong here together, with the eyes of the realm upon us.”
You smile, leaning slightly closer to him as you savor the moment. “If anyone had told me a few years ago that this would be my future, that I’d be betrothed to a Lannister… I’d have laughed.” Your voice holds a note of amusement, but beneath it is a sense of wonder. “This life feels like a different path than the one I had imagined.”
Tyland chuckles, nodding in agreement. “I admit, even I would have thought it unlikely. But life has a way of surprising us.” He pauses, his gaze turning more serious as he watches you, his eyes warm with sincerity. “I never thought I’d find someone who understands me, someone I could truly trust, even in a place as tangled as the court. But here we are.”
You squeeze his hand, feeling a swell of gratitude and affection. “And I’m glad for it,” you reply softly. “Whatever paths brought us here, I wouldn’t change a single one.”
Just then, a familiar figure approaches—one of Tyland’s cousins, Lord Martyn Lannister, with a warm smile and a gleam of amusement in his eyes. He stops before you, giving a respectful bow, though there’s a playful glint in his gaze as he addresses you both.
“Lord Tyland, Princess Y/N,” Martyn greets, his voice carrying a note of good-natured humor. “I believe congratulations are in order… again. The Westerlands couldn’t be prouder to see one of our own tied to the Targaryens.” He chuckles, his gaze darting between you and Tyland. “And I daresay, it seems you two are already making quite the impression on court.”
Tyland inclines his head, a hint of amusement in his smile. “Thank you, Martyn. I’m glad to know we have the family’s support here in King’s Landing.”
Martyn’s smile widens, his tone light. “More than just support. Some of us plan to stay here at court, in fact, to ensure you have everything you need. After all, it wouldn’t do to leave you surrounded by dragons without a few lions nearby for balance.”
You laugh softly, a warmth spreading through you at the thought of Tyland’s family rallying around you both. “That’s very kind of you, Lord Martyn. I’m sure Tyland and I will be glad to have familiar faces close by.”
Martyn chuckles, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Well, it’s not just kindness. There’s quite a bit of curiosity, too. You must understand, Princess—many of us are already wondering what future Targaryen-Lannister offspring might look like.”
A faint blush rises in your cheeks, and you exchange a look with Tyland, who lets out a soft laugh, his gaze affectionate. “A fair question, though one I can’t yet answer,” he says, a hint of mischief in his voice. “Though I imagine they might have their mother’s fire—and perhaps a hint of Lannister gold, just to keep things interesting.”
Martyn grins, nodding approvingly. “A good combination, if you ask me. But I daresay the court would be equally curious to see such an addition to the realm.” He winks, then adds, “But I won’t press. You’ll have your own time to build your family, as you see fit.”
You smile, grateful for the gentle way he broaches the topic, and you give him a small nod. “Thank you, Martyn. For now, we’re just enjoying each moment as it comes. The future will unfold in its own time.”
Martyn nods, his tone turning sincere as he addresses you both. “Well, know that the family stands behind you, in whatever may come. This alliance means more to the Lannisters than simply a marriage—it’s a bond that strengthens us all. And you, cousin,” he adds, giving Tyland a proud smile, “have done the family proud.”
Tyland smiles back, his hand tightening on yours. “Thank you, Martyn. Your support—and that of our family—means a great deal to us both.”
Martyn offers a final bow before stepping back into the crowd, leaving you and Tyland to continue your walk. You glance up at him, the warmth of his hand in yours and the promise of the future filling you with a quiet joy.
He leans down, his voice soft as he speaks just for you. “It seems we have a whole host of well-wishers at our backs, my lady. I think we’ve managed to surprise even our own family.”
You smile, leaning your head slightly against his shoulder. “Then let us keep surprising them, Tyland. I have no doubt the future will hold more than a few twists for us both.”
Hand in hand, you continue through the halls, savoring the freedom, the acceptance, and the bond you now share openly—a union blessed by your Houses, strengthened by your love, and watched over by the eyes of those who support you.
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd x reader#hotd x you#hotd x y/n#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fire and blood#hotd tyland#tyland lannister#tyland x you#tyland x y/n#house lannister#house targaryen#to win a princess
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Listen. Only do this if you feel like it❤️
But can you do a hc or short ff (Anything is cool) with a reader that tells Ghost, price, Alejandro and Rudy that they see them as a father figure and that they feel save and protected around them?
Something wholesome because I thing we all could use some 🧎♂️❤️
✎ this is so adorable i love this idea omg
✎ tags: alejandro and rudy use feminine spanish nicknames for you but otherwise i think i kept it gender neutral reader?, military reader, pure fluff <3, not proofread im too cool for that
☆ simon "ghost" riley
♡ you're both in the kitchen of the compound's living area at the same time, you perched on a counter while you and simon are waiting for coffee to brew. your conversation had turned to the last mission you had all went on.
♡ your arm had been grazed by a bullet during a firefight, and as much as simon will deny it, he went kind of ballistic. the enemies were neutralized within minutes after that and through your protests of "it was my arm, dumbass, i can walk!" he still picked you up and took you to safety and stitched you up.
♡ the whole time he had lectured you about staying behind cover and checking all your surroundings and all the other things you knew how to do, but you knew he wasn't angry with you because his hands were more gentle than you thought they could be.
♡ so when you're both waiting for coffee to brew and you tell him that he made you feel safe and that he was protective of you in a good dad way, he short-circuits.
♡ you see him as a father figure? he can't really figure it out himself why you do, even when he gives you a weird look and you try to explain further. he watches you with the same weird look through his balaclava (his eyebrows do plenty of talking for him) until the coffee is done and he pours you both cups and walks off.
♡ you just shrug and go about your day, but simon thinks about it for weeks. he doesn't forget how you trust him and he makes a point of keeping an eye out for you from now on, even if he was already doing it subconsiously.
☆ john price
♡ it's you and the other four guys, price, soap, ghost, and gaz, all sitting at a table playing cards and drinking. you're all joking around and gaz brings up how price is like an old grandpa sometimes with the stories he tells, and you chime in with "yeah, he's totally like our dad!"
♡ gaz, soap, and ghost all just nod their agreement with laughs but price stops, looking at you questioningly. he asks you if you really think of him like a dad, and you smile and nod.
♡ you tell him about how he's always so on top of everything and he makes sure the team stays together and solid, and how he just has "dad energy", which he doesn't understand but he'll ask gaz about later. it makes him feel a little warm inside but he just looks away so you can't see the obvious smile threatening to push through onto his face.
♡ he thinks about it for awhile afterwards. he covers up the mushy feelings he gets with dad jokes and sarcastic comments, but he makes sure to encourage and look out for you from then on.
♡ you can be damn well sure that if this man sees you flirting with anyone, he'll march on over and just start grilling them. it chases the person away 100% of the time because come on, this is captain john price of the 141 task force, and it kind of pisses you off, but he definitely finds it hilarious.
☆ alejandro vargas
♡ alejandro and you are holed up in a safehouse for a few hours during a mission and need to kill time, so as per usual he's sitting calmly, cleaning his weapons, and you're bouncing off the walls. he loses count of how many times he tells you to just sit about 45 minutes in.
♡ "changuita, you need to sit, preserve your energy," he says, about one million and two times. you just throw him an annoyed look and a quick "i'm not a monkey!", to which he just watches you once again climb a piece of furniture out of pure boredom.
♡ you almost (definitely intentionally) fall off of the couch when you go to jump onto it next to him and he bursts out laughing, warning you not to break something. you're response to this is, "whatever dad, you're the old one here!"
♡ he's just like, did i hear that right? and quirks an eyebrow at you. you give him a look back, confused, and he asks you if you think of him as your father.
♡ "well, not like, my dad, but, like... my dad, ya' know?" is followed by, "no, chiquita, i don't know." he's chuckling though, and he just shakes his head and goes back to cleaning his gun.
(changuita = little monkey , chiquita = little one , i googled this pls lmk if it's wrong lol)
☆ rodolfo parra
♡ rudy is bent under the hood of your car, inspecting the different compartments and liquids, explaining them to you when you accidentally call him "dad". you had called him over because a light on your dashboard had lit up and didn't really know what to do about it, and he had said before that if you ever need help to call him.
♡ he figures out what's wrong pretty quick and let's you know, saying he can have it easily fixed within the hour, and you beam up at him excitedly with a "thanks, dad!" you scurry inside to get something to drink for you both without realizing, and he's left to stand in the driveway, dumbfounded.
♡ when you come back out, you ask him why he looks weird and he asks, "hermana, do you really see me as a father figure?" and you think about it for a bit before you nod with a smile. "yeah, you always help me out when i need it and, ya know, i feel safe with you!"
♡ his heart melts and he vows then and there to always make sure that never changes with you. he starts actually treating you like his child, making sure you know you can call him for help whenever, going out of his way to get you whatever you need when he goes shopping for anything, making sure you're hanging around good people, etc. etc.
♡ rudy won't admit it but he really does start seeing you as his own child, and he always does his absolute best to keep an eye out for you.
(hermana = sister , again i just googled platonic spanish nicknames)
#call of duty#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#task force 141#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#captain john price#john price#john price x reader#alejandro vargas#alejandro vargas x reader#rodolfo parra#rodolfo parra x reader#headcanons#fanfiction#— lilly writes! ♡
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Thoughts about FFXVI now that I’ve finally played it (was patiently waiting for that price to drop and my salt to dilute):
Pros:
- Pretty game. Big, pretty fights with attacks and cinema that made you feel like a god amongst men. Which you kind of were, at least by the end.
- The voice acting was top notch. Not a weak one to be found, imo, from major characters to minor. They all did a pretty phenomenal job.
- Music was also pretty darn good. Not my favorite soundtrack by any stretch, but it had some bangers, and the music contributed well to the overall mood of the world.
- There actually were brown people. Were any of them main characters? No, but they did exist, and some of them were even semi-important in side quests, which was a better state of the world than I thought. So a kudos there, I guess.
- The story on its own was decently satisfying, but the world-building was really where the game shined (along with the big, bombastic fights). You can tell they put a lot of time and care into developing the lore of Valisthea, from the monsters to the items to the politics of the involved nations. They had a couple characters that basically acted as encyclopedias for lore and in-depth details about characters, concepts, and events, and I genuinely enjoyed making use of them.
- I liked the older ages of the characters, pretty much everybody was in their 30s and older. Much as I love my FF teens and early twenty-something’s, it was very refreshing dealing with grown folks in a story about grown folks.
- From his hair to his face to his voice to his cleavage to his unnecessarily tight leather trousers to the cutscene of his bare naked ass literally chained to a jail cell wall, Clive was the eye candy of this game. He provided more smut material than the actual sex workers that existed in this world. Also his character was nice. He was a good FF protagonist. Also ridiculously gorgeous. God bless.
Cons:
- While there were brown characters, again none of them were main characters. At least give us our token darkie, Squeenix.
- The locations, while pretty cuz pretty graphics, were lackluster. There was one (1) notable exception, and that was (ironically) the place with all the brown folks lol. It was basically a desert oasis-turned-town, and it was legitimately beautiful to behold. But for the vast majority of traversable terrain, even for dark fantasy medieval Europe, it’s like there wasn’t even an attempt to try and create environs that were imaginative or particularly interesting to run/ride through (and it got worse when, about 75% into the story, literally everything became shrouded under dreary cloud cover). Like they could’ve given us a glowing forest or treetop town or something.
- Related to that point, exploration of said environs was equally uninspired. Not just because the locations quickly lost their hold on me, but because there were absolutely no worthwhile rewards for going out of my way to wander any given map area. Practically every chest or shiny bauble was a random assortment of a laughably low amount of gil or the same monster materials I absolutely did not need to go looking for as they were so abundant just throughout the course of the main story and a few side quests. And no secrets; there were no mysteries, no serendipitous little discoveries that would have added to the richness of the world. Halfway through the game, I’d already given up exploring any environment in full, and simply traversed from point A to B for the next cutscene (the only exceptions being populated towns and villages cuz at least there was ambient NPC dialogue), and that was so disappointing. I normally love exploration, even in non-open world games, but XVI simply didn’t incentivize me to pursue it, neither by way of rewards nor simple appreciation of the world.
- Not a big fan of the summon designs. Well, some of them. Phoenix was good, Garuda and Titan and Odin were good, and Ifrit was fine but also coulda been more than a burnt big-horned dog thing, but I was not a fan at all of Shiva and Bahamut. I talked about Shiva when the very first big trailer for XVI came out, and I stand by my statement then that she looks like a woman doing a pretty but boring cosplay. And Bahamut was just a big gray lizard with weird proportions. Not a fan.
- The main big bad was underwhelming and utterly unnecessary. We didn’t need to fight god (again). I’m tired of fighting god, I don’t care how classic a trope it is. All the political machinations the devs had going on (and clearly put so much time and effort into) were more than enough for a compelling, refreshingly grounded story. We didn’t need some random god creature to come in and pose a bigger, higher-than-the-sky threat. Also they were annoying.
- By god, why wasn’t there a fleshed-out party system. Not even necessarily for gameplay reasons, I was (mostly) fine with the action-based gameplay, I don’t necessarily need my FF’s to be strictly traditional turned-based RPGs. What had me wishing most for more RPG-“ness” was the lack of banter, the lack of character/relationship-building conversations out in the field. The only time you got those was at the homebase or during plot-heavy segments. Side quests and world exploration were the worst; even when another person was in your “party,” it was rare for Clive or even the game itself to acknowledge them or their presence (with the exception of Cid. And Torgal. You know, the dog). I missed banter, I missed commentary. I’m not saying I needed a 12-person ensemble cast, but wandering the pretty but repetitive wilderness would have been nicer if Clive had had someone to chat with. It would’ve made the journey a little less lonely, a little less monotonous, and a little less, frankly, immersion-breaking. And it also would’ve helped to flesh out the other, non-Clive main characters, given them the flavor text they needed to really come to life as believably human characters I could care about, rather than just vehicles for lore and story progression. For everyone except Clive and a couple others, that was sorely missing.
- Partially continuing from above: Jill was the greatest victim of this. She was criminally underutilized. She and Clive were cute (30+-year-old traumatized virgin battle couple locked in a decades-long slow burn, sign me up), but they - and, more importantly, she - could’ve been so much better. And one of the reasons they weren’t and she wasn’t was because they chose not to flesh Jill out despite all the ways they could’ve. The nuggets of gold were there; in the story, in the lore, and they did little to nothing with them, and essentially consigned her to the role of Clive’s favorite cheerleader (who gets left behind right before the climax and replaced with a character with less than half the screen time, sorry Dion). It’s especially frustrating seeing as she was the only female member of the main hero cast. Can you tell I’m mad about it. It might honestly be my biggest criticism of the game. She’s not the only victim, as I stated, but her treatment is the most egregious given that she should be, for all intents and purposes, the third most important character in the game. (Also, on a shallower note, her design could’ve been better, more striking. She seemed to literally kinda fade into the background, especially in direct comparison to other characters. I understand the ice theme they were going for, but she really could’ve benefited from some coloration outside of “pale” and “gray.” Lowkey bothered me to the point that I started redesigning (and just full-on reimagining) her as I played lol).
- Also related to the above points: despite XVI being categorized as an action RPG, the RPG elements were extremely barebones, so much they might as well not have bothered including them. And it’s even more glaring an issue because, in my humble opinion, the parts by which the game suffered most (lack of worthwhile exploration, lack of a stimulating party system, lack of quest variety, lack of significant supporting character development) wouldn’t have been issues if those RPG elements had been given more attention and care.
Idk it’s…frustrating, like Squeenix was so dead-set on making XVI so far removed from the traditional FF formula, that they forgot (or ignored) the roots that made their previous games so iconic. I’m all for innovation and experimentation, but it’s gotta be guided, and it’s gotta make sense. And XVI just felt aimless in that respect, like it didn’t know entirely what it wanted to be or what it wanted to do. Couldn’t fully commit to the bit of being a gameplay-focused action extravaganza, but lacked the development and depth to be a truly satisfying, story- and character-focused RPG. And, to me, it showed.
Overall, I’d rate the whole experience a 7/10. Passable, entertaining enough, but sorely lacking in too many other areas, and all areas that I’ve always personally loved in a Final Fantasy game or general RPG. It’s like using a ton of admittedly very pretty glitter to cover up a concrete slab. Fun and exciting at a glance (and again, very pretty), but ultimately little more than camouflage for a solid but shamefully underutilized foundation.
#long post#lex plays ffxvi#ffxvi critical#this might not be fully coherent idk#and it is way too long#i expected i’d like it#but not love it#but i could have loved it and that’s always lowkey maddening#honestly i could do an entire post about jill#and my disappointment with her handling#like she’s fucking SHIVA y’all#put some respect on her name!!
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Clannibal AO3 FF ("Can't stop thinking about you")
{snippet - link to the full story below}
[...] Something about Dr Lecters appearance was still as remarkable and mesmerizing as ever. Even at first glance, it was obvious that he was wearing a tailored suit that emphasized his defined shoulders. In the meantime, a few light strands had mingled with his anthracite hair, but that didn't make him seem any less sublime. In contrary, Starling found herself thinking that he looked better than ever. Healthier, even. The colour of his face, which he had lacked hidden from daylight back then, now resembling ripe olives made his skin look firmer and younger.
"Hello, Clarice," he broke the silence before she could speak. His gaze pinned her to the spot, drilling into her marrow like poisoned arrows. To her own surprise, she did not back down. It was the first time they faced each other without protective armoured glass or bars, she noted, yet she had the secure feeling that she was not at the mercy of any danger.
„You shouldn’t be here“, Starling said shaking her head in disbelief. „They don't just monitor your tracks, Dr Lecter. Their lack of confidence in me certainly leads them to observing my neighbourhood to make sure I don't make a move that gets in their way. This is not exactly the safest place to stop by for a jailbreaker.”
„Are you worried about me?“, he asked and took a large step towards her. She did not move.
„No, I’m worried about us“, she hissed at him. „What are you doing here? Tell me. Tell me now.“
"Is it so hard to believe that I care about you and wanted to check on your well-being? Clarice, you must have learned a thing or two about me over the years. You wouldn't disappoint me with the simplexity of your colleagues, would you? Why, that’s beneath you, Clarice."
„Why is that, Dr Lecter?“ Starling felt her lips trembling with both fear and excitement. She kept eye contact. „Why do you like me? I need to know for good.“
„Quid pro quo?“, he said softly with the hint of a smile. It wasn't one of those calculating smirks from him that she was used to from earlier times and that had made her feel like a stupid schoolgirl who couldn't compete with him. In a strange way, it seemed honest and genuine. „Isn’t it quite obvious why we’re drawn together, hm? Don’t you feel things you can hardly allow yourself to feel when I am around? And don’t you think about us in situations – practices – that almost make you dizzy with desire? I know I do. In fact, I knew I did ever since you came back to me into the dungeon after our first interrogation. These stimuli are new to me, Clarice, I have to explore, investigate and question them. I can't compare what you bring out in me with empirical values.“
Starling felt the blush rise to her face. Her thoughts only revolved around one agonising question. How many dead bodies had he walked over to stand here now? What sins had he taken upon himself to confront her like this? Whose blood was on his hands? All the questions that piled up in her mind were a protective wall so that she didn't have to face what he actually wanted from her.
„Make an effort to answer now, Clarice. Quid pro Quo“, he whispered and took another step in her direction. She couldn't help noticing that he moved forward gracefully like a dancer. His gait was as light as a feather and deadly quiet like the slithering of a cobra. She had to bear in mind that a monster lurked beneath the gentleman’s disguise. [...]
#clannibal#clarice starling#hannibal lecter#silence of the lambs#anthony hopkins#hannibal x clarice#dr hannibal lecter#jodie foster#hannibal 2001#post silence of the lambs#hannibal fanfiction#clannibal fanfic#ao3 author#ao3#ao3 fanfic#writer#writeblr#writers on tumblr#thomas harris#dark romance#writing#writerscommunity
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I’m sorry Minnie, this is a long one but I need to discuss with someone my thoughts about Seb’s latest casting as Trump.
The only way I’m seeing this work out is if they lean heavily into the comedy aspect of a dramatic comedy. I don’t know if you’ve seen Taika W’s Jojo Rabbit, but they make Hitler seem completely ridiculous.
If they don’t, I think it’s a serious ( & potentially dangerous mistake). Because no matter how many bad things they show the character doing, he will still seem aspirational to some & sympathetic to most. Look at movies like The wolf of Wall Street where Leo DiCaprio played Jordan Belfort - a categorically awful person- but you come away from watching that movie thinking what a badass or feeling sympathy for him. Look at Pam&Tommy, Sebastian himself made a sexist, wife beater with anger issues seem likeable, yes he’s troubled & clearly has issues, but you don’t hate him. But at least Tommy & Jordan are currently out of the spotlight aren’t politicians.
Imagine if they announced that Ryan Gosling was playing young Putin, we’d all be rightly horrified. It’s the same thing, you shouldn’t be giving unnecessary attention to current political figures. Trumps running for president ffs
If this is anything but a straight satire then I really hope as a fandom we can put our love of Seb aside and not give this narcissistic man a spotlight . I can just see Trump at rallies bragging that he’s getting a movie made about him and they’ve hired a good looking young actor to play him. It makes me feel ill.
Hi there, anon. Thanks for your ask. I'll be honest: I share your concerns. I'm not thrilled about this casting news at all. I heard some rumours to this effect on Tuesday but I still hoped it might not be about Sebastian's project, but apparently it is.
Fortunately, all signs point to this movie being critical of Trump, and not at all in support of him, but even if that's the case, the concerns you raise are still valid. However sure I am that Sebastian would never have any part in any Trump propaganda, and that he sees this as an opportunity to work with people he admires and tell a good story, which additionally criticises Trump, I still wish he hadn't taken this part. I personally agree that the less attention given to that cretin the better. Trump does NOT need any more publicity, good or bad. And the timing of this project is worrying too, imo.
I personally have no desire to see a movie about Trump - I already know everything I need to know about him as well as how I feel about him - and I have no desire to see Sebastian play Trump and forever associate the two. Even though I'm sure they'll 'uglify' him for this part, Sebastian is still Sebastian (i.e. charming and likeable irl), which I think is an issue in this case.
So as things stand now, I don't think I'll be seeing this movie when it comes out. We'll have to wait and see if perhaps it might turn out to be heavily satirical or something, but I'm not sure it will be. Only time will tell, I guess. Let's hope Sebastian knows what he's doing with this one, for all of our sakes, but for his own as well.
#i'll answer some more asks about this after work i think#but this is by and large my own opinion#sebastian stan#the apprentice movie#minnie answers
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0127: Marvel Two-In-One #6
Cover Date: November 1974 On-Sale Date: August 13, 1974
With so many heroes living in New York City they are bound to run into each other every so often. Even one like Doc who's adventures are more esoteric than the average super-being. Doc hasn't bumped into the Fantastic Four for years, outside of the occasional wedding and this is his first outing with Benjy Grimm solo. With Doc involved, the story won't fit into a single issue. This is part one.
While waiting for their train, Doc, Clea and some others are enjoying the harmonica music of a strange (no pun intended) girl on the platform. Mr. Gerber gives us a collection of short biographies and reactions of the immediate members of the audience.
The strange woman finishes her performance. One member of the audience, who looks like a shirtless vampire, isn't happy and tries to "convince" her to play some more. Some fashion choices of the 70s were really questionable! Vampy snatches the harmonica and pushes the woman onto the tracks. The woman pleads to save the harmonica. Doc hesitates a moment and fulfils this request. Before he can attempt to save the woman, she is struck by an oncoming train. Instead of a splat, she bursts into lots of multicolored sparks. Well, Doc is involved. Things can't go the ordinary way.
The sparks cover the passengers on the platform, seeping into them and calming them. Once they recover their wits, everyone flees. Doc and Clea leave the platform and return to the Sanctum Sanctorum.
Meanwhile, back at the Baxter Building, the blue-eyed Benjamin J. Grimm, aka The Thing, receives an early morning telephone call. It's from Mrs. Coogan on Yancy Street and it turns out she's Vampy's grandmother. Vampy looks like he's going through some serious heroin withdrawal.
The Thing flies to Yancy Street in one of the FF's fancy vehicles and has a long awaited reunion with Mrs. Coogan. Benjy asks Vampy to spill his guts. While they get all tender, we change our view back to Doc's Sanctum. Doc is trying to discern where the sparkle woman and her harmonica originate from. Clea and Wong watch. Clea must have been watching Doctor Who because she tell's Wong she'll explain later.
Doc manages to contact the woman. It turns out she's not really an entity but a manifestation of the force called destiny. Everyone who interacted with her have, through some kind of gobbledygook, managed to change the course of their destiny. Doc asks about the harmonica but it seems she's not allowed to talk about that and bolts. Doc needs to find everyone on the platform and... do something. He flies off with instructions not to touch the harmonica. We know how well telling people not to do something goes.
Doc finds the young couple and as he arrives strange things happen. First, Sheldon, the husband of the couple has lost his face and second, Doc's ghost is coming the the wall of their bedroom. Doc isn't usually the peeping tom sort so we'll assume he's there to fix the dude's face.
The condition seems to be related to Sheldon's loss of individuality. Doc beams some sort of suggestion into Sheldon's head and he gets his face back. Doc's ghost returns to his body and Sheldon tells his wife that he want's to quit his job and write a book. Yeah, that should go well.
Back on Yancy Street, Benjy has heard Vampy's story and doesn't believe it. The man who grew rocky skin, visited other planets and dimensions, traveled through time and fought Galactus and other extremely powerful entities doesn't believe that a woman exploded into colorful sparkles. While digesting the story and thinking not-nice thoughts about Vampy, Benjy goes outside only to discover the Yancy Street Gang has vandalized his transport.
Doc arrives on the scene as the Thing is losing his ability to control his anger. Benjy asks what he's doing there and Doc says if he tells him, Benjy may think Doc is ready for a rubber room. As the two heroes walk off to discuss, a nearby rat grows to giant size, crawls the wall of the nearby brownstone and attacks Vampy who happens to be looking out the window. The event is significant enough for Mr. Tuska to give us a full page panel!
The Thing grabs the rat's tail and the rat grabs Vampy. Doc suspects there may be magic involved (duh!) and joins the fray. The rat releases Vampy. Benjy continues to pummel the giant rodent. The rodent fights back and Benjy isn't having a great time.
Realizing Vampy is at the center of this, he starts working on him and he isn't very kind.
Doc eventually convinces Vampy that life is worth living and he has some degree of control over things. Vampy's renewed confidence allows Benjy to dispatch his red-eyed foe.
The Thing is ready to go back to bed. Who can blame him. Doc explains there's one more dude we need to ferret out and then there's that darn Harmonica I haven't figured out yet. Benjy is like "Oh well, the night's ruined anyway. Let's go."
The pair return to the Sanctum and Doc asks Clea to get the harmonica. Clea tells him that Valkyrie showed up and said she would bring it to Doc. Looks like they all have another mystery to solve.
On the surface, the story is a bit bland, but looking at all the elements, this is a prototype of Defenders stories to be. It's got that touch of weirdness that will become a trademark of the series. The style Mr. Tuska uses appears to influence Don Perlin who will illustrate many of those weird tales.
Steve Gerber handles Doc quite well. He's more than a spell throwing, exposition machine here. A story like this doesn't allow for occasional intimate moments that provide character growth, but the interaction between Doc and Vampy is telling. Doc tends to be a nice guy, but here he shows he can see the bigger picture. He takes the necessary road to get the job done and save those who need saving.
It's a story without a true villain. Rather, the cast deals with the unintended consequences of an impulsive action. I haven't read the follow-up yet and don't know if Doc and Clea are similarly affected by the sparkle woman. After all, they were present when this all happened.
It's not an overwhelmingly great story, but it entertained and didn't drag so I liked it.
#doctor strange#doctor strange reviews#stephen strange#clea#wong#the thing#marvel two-in-one#steve gerber#george tuska
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Nights in Vegas | CH. 17 (JJK FF)
☆ summary: When Olivia flies to Las Vegas for her first ever BTS concert w/ her best friend, she was expecting to make lots of unforgettable memories... What she wasn't expecting was to end up with the lead singer, Jeon Jungkook, knocking on her hotel room door only to find her in nothing but a towel. What will happen when the golden maknae wants to see her again? Will it lead to heartbreak, or a promising future for them both?
☆ pairing(s): jungkook x olivia.
☆ ratings: (18+) for detailed sex scenes + harsh language.
☆ genre: smut, angst, fluff.
☆ word count: 3.82k.
☆☆☆☆☆☆
He didn't say anything, as if his words were stuck in his throat but nothing came out. I mentally face palmed myself for such carelessness on my part and started to feel a bit uncomfortable by his silence, so I stepped away from him.
His eyebrows furrowed as he reached for me but I pulled away, "I- I am so sorry Jungkook. I-I should go now."
Before he could say anything, I hopped out of the shower and grabbed a robe that was hanging on the wall. I quickly left the bathroom and as I stepped into the bedroom, I heard the shower shutting off. "I will just get my clothes back later", I thought to myself, knowing full well that I needed to leave before I break down in front of him.
While waiting for the elevator, I heard my name being yelled from down the hallway, "LIV! PLEASE- PLEASE WAIT!"
He was running after me in only a towel that was wrapped tightly around his slim waist. I hesitated for a second to wait but the moment the elevator arrived, I ran in and pushed my floor number. As he almost reached me, I felt the tears begin to prickle in my eyes because he looked heartbroken as he yelled once more, "LIV PLEASE!"
A second before he could step in, the door had closed leaving me broken and alone inside.
. . .
[Lacie's POV]
After our shower and messing around, Hobi and I decided to cuddle up and binge watch American Horror Story until he had to leave later with Jungkook and Tae. I was laying on his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair, playing with it as we watched TV.
Suddenly, I heard someone practically beating on our door and we looked at each other in confusion as the knocking became more vigorous, "Lacie please let me in! It's Olivia!"
My eyes went wide, "Oh shit, please let her in! She must have forgotten her key card!"
He immediately got up from the bed, going over to the door. Once he opened it, she nearly collapsed onto the floor her eyes flooding with tears as she threw herself into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
Not pushing her away, he stood there hugging her knowing she needed comfort. After a few minutes, she collected herself and pulled away wiping the tears off her face as she looked between Hobi and I, "I'm so sorry that I cried like that Hobi. I just needed to let it out and you were the first one I saw."
She hung her head, sitting in the middle of us on the bed as we both tried to comfort her, "I'm sure you're both wondering what happened.."
Hobi and I exchanged a look as I grabbed her hand, "Only if you want to tell us."
She took a deep breath and began to explain everything that had happened between her and Jungkook. "Then I ran out of the room and down to the elevator to come here. You should have seen his face as he yelled out to me, he was so upset but I couldn't let him see me break down in tears. I needed time to calm down before we spoke."
Right after she explained, our heads turned to Hobi as his phone started to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket slowly and showed us the screen, "It's him. I have to take it."
Olivia and I nodded our heads as he swiped the arrow to answer the call.
Phone Call (Hobi's side):
"Hello?" "Wait wait, calm down Kook I can't understand you." "Y-yes, I can come up right now." "Okay, I don't have my key card though so you'll have to let me in." "I'll see you in 5 minutes."
End of phone call
"Im sorry to leave like this ladies but he needs me."
We just looked at him waiting for an explanation.
"He is so heart broken and crying uncontrollably. He really needs me, but I will be back in just a bit I promise." He put his hand on top of Olivia's, "Listen, it will be okay between you two. I have never seen people click the way you and JK have, and I know that he feels very deeply for you. When you both have had time to cool down, you definitely need to talk this out. Just take time and he will wait for you to be ready, I promise."
They gave each other a sweet smile then he stood up from the bed, walking over to me. I stood up when he offered his hand, wrapping his arms around my waist. "And I'll see you later my dear." Then attached our lips together in a sweet kiss.
"Bye baby, text me when you can."
He nodded, "Always."
We pulled away from each other and he turned once more to Olivia, "I will talk to him okay and I'll tell him that you will send a text when you're ready to talk."
She smiled, "Thank you so much Hobi, for everything."
He nodded with a smile as he walked out the door leaving my best friend and I alone. "Want to get in your comfy clothes and watch American Horror Story with me?"
She smiled, "Of course. Lord knows I need best friend time, I've missed you.
. . .
[Hobi's POV]
I walked up to the door and knocked quietly, "Kook it's me. Let me in."
As if he was waiting by the door, it opened almost instantly and I walked in. The sight in front of me shattered my heart as he was covered in tears and his nose was snotty. As he looked up at me his eyes were red and puffy, he was sitting on the floor against the wall crying.
I sat down beside him, "Kook, I'm here for you. If you need to let it out for a bit longer I'll sit right here and wait for you to tell me what's going on."
He sniffled while dabbing his eyes with a tissue, "I'm ready to talk Hyung.. I just needed you here with me. Thank you for coming so quickly."
I smiled at him, "Of course. That's what we do for our brothers."
He half smiled back but it faded as quickly as it appeared. He told me the exact same story that I heard from Olivia only a few minutes ago.
"When the elevator shut... Hyung I swear my heart stopped beating. I just stood there staring at the doors while in my towel, tears pouring out of my eyes. I knew she needed a minute and that was not the time for me to bother her, but I wanted to go to her so badly."
I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him, "She went to her room while I was down there with Lacie. I heard the same thing from her as well. I just didn't know your side and wanted to hear it too, but now I'm truly curious... do you love her back Kook???"
He looked away and sighed before speaking, "Yes Hyung, I love her so fucking much."
He leaned his head back against the wall, shutting his eyes.
"Why didn't you just say it back to her then?"
He looked at me with a saddened expression, "It completely caught me off guard. I didn't think in a million years that she would feel the same way. To be honest, I thought it was too soon so I just kept my feelings and thoughts to myself. Never did I think she would be feeling the same way until the moment she told me. I fucking blew it though... I could have said it back and everything would be perfect right now, but no I had to ruin it and make her feel embarrassed for even saying it to me in the first place. I just want to hold her and tell her how much she means to me and explain all of this to her, but she probably doesn't even want to see me right now."
He put his head in his hands as he sighed heavily and I placed my hand on his back, "I told her to text you when she was ready to talk about this and she said that she would. The reason she ran away was because first off yes it did upset her that you didn't say anything back, but mostly she just didn't want to break down and cry in front of you. She wanted to hear you out and be understanding with whatever you had to say, so she got away to give you both time to think and breathe. She's just afraid she pushed you away."
He looked at me with hurt filled eyes. "I need to talk to her." He stated as he tried to stand up.
I grabbed him, making him sit back down as I shook my head, "No. You have to let her text you when she's ready. Just go out with me and Tae tonight like we originally planned and hopefully by the time you get home or even by tomorrow morning, you will have a text from her. Okay?"
He didn't like the idea and I could tell right away by his reaction that he wanted to take matters into his own hands, but he simply nodded and agreed with me anyways. When I finally was able to get him up off the floor, I made him lie down for a little bit and rest before we went out. Once I knew he was asleep, I texted Olivia so I could let her know what's going on.
Hobi: Hey Liv it's Hobi, I hope you don't mind but I got your number from the group chat. I just wanted to give you an update on JK if you wanted one.
.
A few moments went by, and my phone chimed back with a text message from her.
. Olivia 🌼: Hi Hobi. That's perfectly okay, I don't mind. Yes please, I've been worried about him since you left. It's killing me not to know if he's okay or not.
Hobi: Well, I won't lie to you... he's pretty bad. But, he has agreed to let you have your space until you text him that you're ready to talk. I heard his side, so please when you're ready just hear him out. He's a genuine guy and will tell you exactly how he feels, just please be patient with him. Jungkook has never done this before with anyone.... Our maknae may be very strong, but he also has a very sensitive heart. ♥️
.
It took a few minutes for her to text back, but right as I thought I crossed a line... another text chimed in.
.
Olivia 🌼: He's very lucky to have such an amazing friend like you. 😊 and I promise I will hear him out. You have my word. ♥️
Hobi: Ok, thank you.
Olivia 🌼: Well, thank you for texting and updating me. I will text him when I'm feeling okay enough to talk. I just want to rest for now and take myself a nap. You guys have fun when you go out later and I will talk to you soon. 😊
Hobi: Of course, you're very welcome. Have a good time with Lacie, she's been missing you. You guys chill for the remainder of the evening, he's not going anywhere and I promise he will be glancing at his phone constantly.
Olivia 🌼: Okay. Thank you! I appreciate you. 😊
End of conversation
. . .
[Jungkook's POV]
*Alarm going off*
I slowly opened my eyes as I looked around the room stretching. As I grabbed my phone to turn the alarm off I noticed it was 7:00 pm already, "Shit, I slept for 2 and a half hours." I thought to myself as I ran my fingers through my hair.
I then looked around the room, noticing that Hobi was still sleeping, "Hyung, wake up! We have to get ready."
He didn't move so I threw my pillow at him.
"Damn it Kook! What was that for?" He instantly sat up, throwing the pillow back at me.
"I'm sorry but you have to get up, we slept for 2 and a half hours. We have to get ready to go to the fountain."
He stretched then stood up from the bed, "Okay. Let's make sure Tae is still going."
I texted him and he was obviously still down to go with us. After Hobi and I got ready, we all headed out to the fountain and it was literally so cool because the water was dancing to our songs. We took pictures together, watched the water show, and spoke with ARMYS that happened to be there as well. It was such a good time but also made us really hungry, so we stopped in and ate together at a fancy restaurant.
We ate, laughed, took pictures of one another, but right in the midst of everything my phone vibrates with a new text message. I pulled it out of my pocket and my eyes went wide when I saw who it was from... Olivia.
Beginning of conversation:
Liv. ♥️♥️: Hey. I know a lot happened earlier today and we still need to talk. Could we meet up at your room so we can talk about everything later? If you still need time I completely understand.
.
"No I don't need time! I need you!" I thought to myself as I texted back so quickly that I was praying to god auto correct saved my ass with all the mis-spellings.
.
Jungkook: Hey. No, we can for sure meet up and sit down together. We have a lot to talk about and I am more than ready for that if you are for certain that you are.
Liv. ♥️♥️: Yes, I'm sure I'm ready. Can we meet at 10:30?
.
I quickly looked at the time: 10:00 sharp. Shit, I am going to have to cut dinner short with the guys and hope that they'll understand...
.
Jungkook: Yes that's perfect. I'll meet you at 10:30.
End of conversation
"Jungkook-ah, did you hear what we said?" Taehyung asked as he and Hobi looked at me.
"Umm, n-no. I'm sorry, what did you say?"
He smirked, asking again, "Did you want to come back to my room with us tonight so we can drink and hang out for a bit?"
I looked down at my phone and saw my texts were still open to her messages, "Ummm... I'm really sorry Hyung, but I actually have to meet with Olivia tonight. She texted me just now and asked if I could meet her back at the hotel at 10:30, I was just about to let you both know that I needed to go."
They gave each other knowing looks and smiled.
"That's okay Kook, we have plenty of time to hang out. Go get your girl back." Hobi said as Tae nodded in agreement.
I thanked them both then called the driver immediately. Once we got back to the hotel, it was already 10:23. Shit only 7 minutes, screw the elevator I'm taking the stairs. I sprinted up all the stairs and when I finally made it to my floor, it was 10:28. I exited the stair case, starting to walk my way down the long hallway until I saw the one person I have been waiting to see since this morning. She was scrolling on her phone leaning beside my door and when she looked up, she saw me coming towards her and gave me that little smile that makes my heart beat a thousand miles a minute.
I walked straight up to her as she looked at the time on her phone, "Wow, 10:30 on the dot. What'd you do... run here?"
She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back as I looked down at the ground,"Actually yes. I hope you didn't wait for me too long."
She looked at me with those beautiful big brown eyes that I've come to love so much, "No, I was only here for 5 minutes."
We smiled, but stood in silence before she broke it, "Do you want to unlock the door and us go in and talk, or would you prefer us sit out here in the middle of the hallway?"
My eyes went wide as I realized that I was staring for too long. I began to frantically search my pockets for the key card while I replied, "Oh shit, yes let me get the door unlocked and we can go in. I'm sorry!"
She was giggling, "It's fine, Kookie."
I finally opened the door and we stepped inside. She took her jacket off and sat on the couch that was in the sitting room and I watched her closely as she looked at me. I then laid down the key card on the side table, slowly walking over to her as she wasted no time and went straight into it, "Look I want to say this before we start if that's okay?"
I nodded.
"Okay, so I know I told you I loved you this morning... but I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back to me just because I said it first. In that moment, I wasn't thinking and everything I was feeling just came out. I am not going to try and defend myself by saying I didn't mean to say it, because that would be a lie."
She paused for a moment and let out a big sigh before continuing, "I know we haven't known each other for more than a few days but every single day since I've been here, I have spent that time with you. Everyday I have fallen for you more and more, and now that we've started being intimate... How could I honestly not fall in love with you, Jungkook?"
Tears began to well up in my eyes as tears were running down her cheeks. I scooted closer and held her hands as she finished what she wanted to say, "I ran away because I was embarrassed that I said it in that way and when you didn't say anything back I panicked, wanting to break down and cry. I couldn't do that in front of you, so I ran to get myself some space. I ran to my room where I met Lacie and Hobi and they listened to me cry for a bit until I explained what had happened. They then made me realize that before I jumped the gun and started thinking that you didn't love me back, that I needed to at least hear you out and hear your side. So I'm asking you right here right now, how do you feel about me?"
I wiped the tears off her face and kissed her hands, "Liv, the moment I laid eyes on you that first time we met, right then I believed in love at first sight. You completely knocked me off my feet and I knew in that moment that I needed to keep seeing you and make you mine. I can't describe the feeling, but in short I feel like it was meant for me to go to your door that day instead of Namjoon's. It was fate for me to meet you and for us to be at the same place at the same time. You have very quickly become something for me that I never thought I'd have this early in my life. You were the first person to take time with me and make me feel like I wasn't crazy for never having sex before or doing anything with a girl in general. You are the most loving person and have always made me feel so safe, making me trust you immediately without hesitation."
I wiped her tears once more and took a deep breath, "I love you so fucking much. I know like you said that we have only known each other for barely a week, but I don't want to be without you any longer. You're everything I have ever wanted and everything that I have been needing in my life and I don't think I could bear being without you. This morning, I was so scared and so nervous because when you said it, it made it all so much more real and complicated for me in my brain. I thought about the company and thought about if I'd ever get to see you again after we leave here, but now I know that it's all going to be okay and everything will fall into place for us. No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you so much baby and you mean the world to me."
. . .
[Authors POV]
After they both shared their feelings with one another, they were sobbing into one another's arms.
"I love you so much, Liv."
"I love you too Kookie, so much."
With that, their lips connected as they got lost in a passion filled kiss. When they pulled away, Jungkook grabbed her face, "Will you please stay with me tonight? I don't think I can spend another second away from you after thinking I was going to lose you all day."
She smiled, "Of course, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."
He smiled back then attacked her lips with his once more. They were out of breath from their heavy make out session when she suddenly pulled away, "Can we get ready for bed? I could use all the Kookie lovins tonight. That is, if you want to?"
He wasted no time and picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist, "God of course I want to baby girl. Tonight is all about you."
#bts army#jeon jungguk#jk bts#jungkook hot#jungkook#tattoos#jeon jk#jungkook hair#jk x reader#bts fanfic#jung kook#bts jungkook#jungkook gif#jungkook bts#jeon jungkook#bts ffs#bts ff#bts fanfiction#bts series#bts x reader#jjk smut#jjk#jjk x reader#jjkedit#jungkook smut#smut#fluff#x reader#female reader#bts smut
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💌✨️Send this to ten other bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep the game going✨️💌
I so appreciate having you in the QAF fandom. Your stories about watching the show as it aired as well as your stories about your life are always so interesting. Thank you so much for being you!
I'm a bit behind on this, as sometimes I ignore Messages for my own sake.
But I definitely did watch QAF as it aired with such a good group. One of those people is still my BFF. She's doing her thing and we're still close. We met via having a cat allergy via a slumber party. However, someone that she and I were close to, outside of that group reached out to me randomly (at least to me) and it inspired me to reach out to one of those in the QAF watching group.
I had known him since elementary school and he got made fun of for being small and Chinese, a minority, and ultimately for being assumed gay. He was and is, and his coming out to me in a Chili's in suburban Atlanta was a moment - I guess I always knew. But I loved him so much for telling me. Not required.
He showed up when my mom was dying. Took me out to take me away from the misery of what I was dealing with, via another person we were friends with in highschool. I will remember that meal always, as it was so kind and I truly remember feeling so blank and anxious.
FF a bit, I got my own place via dead parents and inheritance and had to get a place I could afford. He went to a college at the time and kind of shifted around, and I would drive him places and then he broke away from his negative family, thankfully. He introduced me to his group he discovered, and those two gay men were invited to our decided Sunday thing to watch QAF. My place where was where we watched. I had a TiVO and ALL the fancy cable and the intro was SO LOUD and where I lived had brick walls, high ceilings, cement floors. It would resonate. We had so much fun watching QAF live.
He even grew up a little bit more, more confident, and we all went to a Showtime sponsored event at a club here when season 4 premiered. It was fun!
I'm rambling, but reconnecting - he and his BF have a kid. A boy. I reconnected because other stuff has happened along the way - but he replied that he had thought of me recently too (I started with an email about coffee at Ansley Mall in Atlanta - google it - it's very gay), and he told me he still has U2 on his playlist and thought of me recently (google it - that's me being a very white person in the 00's).
LOVE.
I'm going to pass this on, eventually, but I wanted to share this story.
ETA: Just for honesty and clarity. He became my roommate once with my BFF. He was dealing with a lot and moved out. He took my QAF Season 2-5 DVDs. I still have season 1. And I have season one in a perfect box. But perhaps he needed them more than me. Don't doubt that I had therapy moments about it though. We cleared things up after he went away and paid me back via loan I gave him for a car.
I truly have zero judgement now. I just like that on some level he's good. And perhaps didn't throw those DVDs away. Asking him about those DVDs might be wild now. I'm not there yet, but also who cares? Maybe he watched and still watches. I'm fine.
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Once Upon A Time - Still Kind of Beautiful - part 2
Not exactly a holiday story
There's a letter on the desktop that I dug out of a drawer The last truce we ever came to from our adolescent war And I start to feel the fever from the warm air through the screen You come regular like seasons shadowing my dreams
Indigo Girls
You can find of this story in its entirety on A03 and FF
Summary:
Holly has come home for the holidays to visit family, and maybe, just maybe, find some holiday magic.
Part 2
Holly is home for the holidays. Home. What a strange and wonderful thing, even though she hasn't lived in this city in a decade, Toronto still feels like home. She comes home about once or twice a year to spend a few weeks to a month visiting friends and relatives, living in the guestroom of what is now her sister's townhouse, although she still owns it. On longer visits, like this one, she combines pleasure with business, hanging out in the morgue, getting caught up with old colleagues, and now that she let her boss talk her into being on that stupid show, giving lectures and making a few official public appearances, God or somebody help her.
It used to be easier avoiding Gail. When Sophie and Leo were young, all that Traci needed to do was to get Gail to babysit the kids for an evening and they would meet up for drinks at The Black Penny. Now that the kids are both old enough to be in collage, it's harder, even though Holly knows Gail doesn't really go out much anymore. She knows she's taken the coward's way out. As Traci says, it's been ten years for Christ's sake, what is she still afraid of? They did part as friends. Right? And now, Traci tells her, laughing at her the whole time, Sophie is a big fan of the show and wants to meet her. It's like she's become the butt of some bad, sad cosmic joke. She sighs and drops her forehead into her arms that are resting on the bar. Seamus, the regular bartender at the Penny, pushes a Jack and Coke in front of her without being asked.
"It's good to see you Doc!" He says as he goes back to polishing the glassware, "This one's on me."
"Thanks Seamus!" She smiles, sitting back up to lift the glass to her mouth. The barely tainted liquor burns all the way down.
Just the way Gail likes it, or did, in any case.
It's been ten years, three months, and sixteen days since she kissed the blonde officer goodbye at the airport on her way to her new life, not that she would know. Ten years, three months, sixteen days, and nine and a half hours since she boarded that plane to be exact, if she kept track of those kinds of things. Ten years, three months, sixteen days, and four hours since she left a message on Gail's voicemail letting her know that her flight had landed in San Francisco, and began to wait for a reply that never came. She thought about reaching out to Gail when Traci told her that Sophie's adoption didn't go through, and then again a year and a half later, when it did. She had wanted to fly home and rush to Gail's side when she heard about the internal corruption investigation, and then the trial where Gail and Steve had been forced to testify against their parents, pitting them against each other as well. But the wall of silence had stopped her. She had seen Gail from a distance on several of her visits home, always managing to slip away before she was noticed, not wanting her presence to intrude on Gail's life. She had heard from several of their mutual friends about how retched Gail had been after she left, and how Gail finally managed to pull herself together when it became clear that Children's Services were considering her once again as a parental candidate for Sophie, after Sophie's placement with a more traditional family fell apart. Who is she kidding? It isn't just Gail that she is trying to protect.
"Hey Girl! You are looking good!" She can hear the smile in Traci's voice even before she spins around on her bar stool to be grabbed into a warm hug.
"Traci!" She grins into the shoulder of the wool coat that is pressing into her cheek.
Traci pulls back, holding her at arms length for a moment and then lets go. She waives at Seamus and holds up two fingers. He nods and places two shots of bourbon and two pints of beer on the bar in front of them.
They settle into a booth in the back, talking about Holly's reluctant celebrity, and Traci's recent promotion to Regional Special Operations Team Leader and her move from Division 15 to the Ontario Police Headquarters, and about how she and Steve reconnected about a year ago and are giving dating another try.
"So you and Steve…?" Holly tilts her head, raising her eyebrows at Traci, "How is that working?"
"It's good." Traci smiles back, "I think we are really going to make a go of it this time. He has done a lot of work on himself around communication, and control, and trust."
"That's great Traci, I am really happy for you." Holly replies.
"Thanks!" Traci says, "And even better, Leo loves Steve, so he couldn't be more thrilled!"
"I can't believe he is in his second year at the University of Toronto! All grown up, and a starting Left Wing on the hockey team!" Holly smiles and shakes her head.
"You want me to get us tickets for a game while you're here?" Traci glows with pride.
"Of course!" Holly grins and finishes her drink. "Here let me get us another round."
The Penny has filled up quickly in the time they have been sitting wrapped in conversation, with the usual crowd of cops getting off the day shift, people from the neighborhood, and the occasional college student or two. Holly has to push her way to the bar and squeeze in between a couple or large guys to place their drink order. She fidgets as she waits for the new bartender she doesn't know to stop flirting a couple of girls sitting at the end of the bar. Sooner or later people she knows will be filing in after work, and then she will be here all night. She sighs and looks up to find Seamus placing their drinks before her.
"Sorry about that." He shrugs, "Jimmy doesn't know you, and he thought you were just some hot cougar out hunting cops." He smirks.
"So I'm no longer a badge bunny." She laughs, "Well at least he thinks I'm still hot."
"Darlin', you were never a badge bunny!" The voice says behind her, "And Seamus, put that on my tab."
She whirls around to be caught in a great hug that warms her down to her very soul.
"It's so good to see you." She murmurs into Oliver's ear.
"Yup. Yup, I could say the same." Oliver releases her, "Celery told me you were in town. So I figured it was only a matter of time before I caught you sneaking around down here."
"I am not sneaking around!" She replies indignantly.
"Sure you're not…" He laughs at her
"I'm not! I'm here with Traci, if you must know…" She gives him a playful shove.
"Yeah, yeah, sittin' in the back, ignoring all of us little people…" He teases. "Well look Darlin', I gotta go but maybe I'll see you when I get home on Monday?"
"Celery and I are just going to hang around the house after lunch, so you know you will." She smiles as he kisses her cheek and walks off in the direction of the dartboard.
Holly smiles to herself. It is good to be home. She has picked up the drinks and is carefully turning to return to her seat when she literally bumps into someone that stops her cold. The black leather jacket is shockingly familiar, from the tiny scull charm dangling from the zipper on the breast pocket to the knot she put in the waist belt so long ago. Looking up into eyes, framed by gold wire rimmed glasses, as dark and brown as her own, in a face she has only seen in pictures, makes Holly gasp.
"Hey! Watch it lady!" The dark curls that tumble out from underneath a watch cap, and the flawless milk-chocolate brown skin are unfamiliar, but the tone and the accompanying gesture are all Gail.
"Sophie?" Holly asks in a hushed tone.
"Oh my God!" Is all Sophie can manage as she gapes wide eyed at her hero, a blush rising in her cheeks. "Doc..Dr. Stewart? You… you know who I am?" She finally sputters.
Holly regains her composure as she watches the girl struggle.
"Wha... what are you doing here?" Sophie stutters, still obviously in shock.
Holly laughs, "I'm having a drink with your Aunt Traci."
"Oh." Sophie says, still frozen to the spot.
"Why don't you come over and say hello." Holly continues, leading the way back to the booth.
"Oh. Ok." Sophie follows like a puppy, all awkward and shy.
"Look who I found." Holly says while sliding back into the booth.
"Oh good! You've met." Traci looks up with a smile. "Hey Sophie! How's school?"
Sophie is still standing somewhat dumbstruck in front of them.
"Uh… good Aunt Traci, really good…" She finally manages.
"Sophie wants to be a Forensic Pathologist too." Traci smiles at Holly.
"Really?" Holly tilts her head with a smile, "So you want to be an uber-science nerd like me?
"Oh I don't think you're a nerd, Dr. Stewart! Well not in a bad way, anyway. I think you're amazing! And all of the cases you help solve…" Sophie gushes.
"Please. Call me Holly." She interrupts, her smile growing wider. So this is Sophie. This amazing young woman is the reason Gail couldn't come with her to San Francisco. Sitting here listening to Sophie ramble on, bubbling about forensic science, in much the same way she does herself, is like a gift she didn't know she needed. Until now. Holly finds the weight of ten years of disappointment and resentment for a life without Gail lifting as she sees the young woman before her begin to glow with excitement as she answers each question about their chosen profession. Traci is grinning ear to ear with pride across the table at her too.
"I have to say, I'm impressed." Holly grins as Sophie finishes telling them about the molecular biology project on the breakdown of DNA and methods of its reconstruction for analysis in the field she has been working on all semester. "That's quite advanced stuff you are working on!"
She watches Sophie blush, lick her lips and scuff her boot on the wooden floor and then look back up at her with wide, trusting eyes in a way that is just so Gail. It catches Holly completely off guard; it makes her want to cry all of a sudden. She can feel Traci's eyes, soft and motherly, watching her. It's all starting to be too much.
"Hey! There you are. I thought we were meeting at the bar…" Gail's annoyed voice cuts in behind Sophie.
Holly closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and leans her head against the wooden back of the booth.
"Hey Mom! I was just talking to Aunt Traci and Dr. Stewart… erm… I mean Holly!" Sophie exclaims, excitement sparkling in her eyes as she turns to face Gail.
"Oh." Gail says as all of the blood drains from her body. She licks her lips, feeling as if she has been plunged into ice water.
Traci is frozen too, looking from Holly to Gail to Sophie with frantic, worried eyes. She finally snaps out of it, springing from her seat to take Sophie gently by the arm. "Why don't we go get another round at the bar." She says, leading a thoroughly confused Sophie away from the booth.
Brown eyes open to meet blue and nothing else matters. The Penny, the noise, and everyone else all seem to disappear.
"Hello Gail." Holly says softly.
That's all it takes. Suddenly Holly is on her feet. Gail takes two quick strides forward to catch her and hold on tight.
"I've missed you." Holly finally manages to gasp in a strangled whisper.
"Me too, Holly, me too." Gail sobs quietly into her ear. "More than I can ever say."
#rookie blue#rookie blue fan fiction#gail peck#dr.holly stewart#lesbian#useless lesbian#gail and holly
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pls help w this
so i wrote this thingy and i think its like a short story maybe? i just maybe wanted someone to give it more background cuz i kinda really like it. anyways its long as shit so um yeah:) (1412 words long i got tumblr bc when i read ffs the authors always say tumblr helps them so yeah!)
TW: homophobia (includes the f slur), mentions of blood and death. also swearing. a lot of swearing.
You know what’s a different experience that I have, that maybe, no one else does?
I walked onto that stage. Rolling my shoulders back, forcing my head to be a little higher. Eyes forward, because I knew that if I looked at her face, or even her name, printed out in big white letters on banners that would temporarily mark the walls of city hall; that I would ruin my makeup. Maybe, because I knew that they were going to be temporary, that no one really gave a shit about her, or maybe it’s because she’s dead. Maybe it’s because I have to do this speech instead of her parents and I can’t look at her knowing that, because in some way it’s like I’m telling her.
I’m in a royal blue suit, with a white button up and a matching tie. I didn’t have formal shoes, and I feared that if I wore my high heels I would shake so hard that I’d fall. So I’m wearing my Converse. With or without heels, I still fear falling because I don’t know when it will happen, if it’s inevitable or not. I’ve been shaking for the past forty minutes.
“Hi, baby, hi, look at me, baby.”
I’m not shaking as hard as I was two days ago, though.
I held up her head, you know? I felt so bad, I was getting blood all over her face. It was on my hands from when I was trying to stop the bleeding. We did everything right. She did everything right. Anisa did everything right.
She saved people, that’s just who she is. And I guess, it’s who I’m not. I called 9-1-1. I asked for an ambulance. I told them, “GSW to the stomach, bleeding, a lot, oh God, please, please, no,” I even took breaths to try to help them understand; the operators and God, begging to give her another chance at life. “Applying pressure, come on, Nisa, eyes open for me okay? Come on,”
I breathed.
“Come on! Please, please!”
I breathed.
“Baby,”
She called for me, and like always, I answered.
“I’m here, Nisa, I’m here,”
I looked at her. The most gorgeous woman in my life. I was going to marry her.
“Hey, angel, it’s okay, okay?”
I breathed again.
I nodded.
“Don’t cry, angel, it’s okay,”
Was I crying?
“I love you, I love you so much,” She said.
I nodded again.
“I love you too, and you’re gonna be okay,”
I rasped in the air, forced it into my lungs, but it was still breathing, right?
She shook her head in a silent ‘no’.
“But that’s okay, ‘cause I got you, so,”
She breathed in. It looked like it hurt.
I cried more.
“It’s okay. I love you.”
I heard the sirens. She did too. She shook her head again. ‘Not close enough.’
I shook mine. ‘It has to be.’
“It’s okay.” She said, again.
“Come here,” She weakly lifted her arms and grabbed my face, pulling me down so our foreheads could rest on each other.
“I love you,” She told me, she promised me.
“I love you too, always.” I replied, promising her back. I grabbed her hand and held it tight.
I breathed.
She didn’t.
“Nisa?” I called for her, unmoving.
She didn’t answer.
She always answered.
I cleared my throat. “I’m Mae Vincent,” I stood, a little straighter, swallowing and tucking my blonde, turning brunette, hair behind my ear. “And, today, our city lost a hero. Not just a hero that is called that because she looked straight out of a comic book,” I got a couple soft laughs at that. “But a hero by textbook definition,” I took a breath and blinked. “Anisa Cook, or ‘Star’, whoever you knew her as, but until yesterday, most people knew her as Star, so let’s go with that.”
I looked around, for reassuring eyes, and only found strangers, and flashing lights of the paparazzi’s cameras boring back into my brown ones. “Star protected this city for two years, and in those two years she has done more for its citizens than anyone has in decades. She has stopped bank robberies, muggings, sexual assaults, murders,” I stopped, and chuckled as I looked at the banners. I didn’t cry, not yet.
“A seventeen year old, bisexual, Black girl did more for this city than any billionaire’s non-profit has in years. She kept you all safe, all while keeping up with her Godddamn English homework and this is the fucking ‘thanks’ she gets? A couple of banners that won’t even stay up for the fucking week and nothing else? Are you joking?” I know that they might pull me off stage, but I don’t care anymore. I have nothing to lose.
“Fuck this,” I muttered. “Today I lost my girlfriend. Well, actually two days ago. You want to know why? Because she was protecting all of you! My,” I choked on a breath, my what? My everything? My light? My world? “My star died protecting one of you, all of you. And after she was shot for that, she went home to try and fix herself up, like she always did.” I breathed.
“You know what happened when she got there? You know why I’m on this fucking stage and her fucking parents aren’t?”
I sucked in air, hoping it would calm the anger in my bones, I felt it vibrate throughout my body. There was so much.
Too much.
“Because they saw my star in her bloodied costume and thought ‘This is a fucking grand time to kick her out for being a faggot.’ Because our school posted a photo of someone at a big school event and got us kissing in the background. Because her parents' love was conditional, and so they sent their dying daughter to have to use the last of her Goddamn power to get to me. Do you fuckers know what happens then? She can’t heal. My star can’t heal. Because, big fucking surprise, when you’re out almost everynight, not sleeping, and barley eating, your body can’t do much of anything, especially not heal. For the record she had advanced healing, but because of this city’s bullshit and her lack of– everything, she was forced to heal slow as fuck like the rest of us and fucking die.”
I breathed.
“My star fucking died, because you couldn’t pull your Goddamn fucking shit together!” I yelled, accused the crowd, the cameras and breathed again, pushing the anger under my skin. “You know, this was the summer we were going into grade twelve. We were gonna graduate together, go to university, get married, the whole thing,” I scoffed. “I mean we were going to different universities, she was going to do chemical engineering, Anisa was brilliant.” I choked.
No one had pulled me off stage yet. They all just stared. Why are they staring? Stop looking at me. Look at her, please. Please.
“My Anisa was brilliant, and beautiful, and kind, and resilient, and you took her away from me,” I sobbed. “You know, she picked up the name star because I always called her ‘my star’ because I’m really into astrology and she was the light of my life. She was everything I wished for, you know? She was my star.” I tried to make them understand, I tried to breathe.
“Anisa Cook was a hero, and she was a human. And you all took both of those things for granted,” I greedily sucked in air, this time, my throat opening more to let me.
“Never again will you get to. And never again will I get to love her, in the way I got to,” I looked down at my shoes, at my ring, and finally back up, into the nearest camera I could find that was recording. “Today, we celebrate the most beautiful woman to ever grace this planet, inside and out; today, and always,” I cleared my throat and breathed again.
“Thank you.” I said and walked off of the stage, away from her face, and back to a home that would never be filled with her again. No sneaking in my window, or coming through the front door, no more movie nights or dates. No more Anisa. No more Star.
The crowd applauded.
I had the experience of publicly mourning the death of the love of my life who also happened to be a superhero. I don’t recommend it.
Written by me! today:) got the idea while listening to "lucy~" by Corbon Amodio
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A Lion's Leap (peace is a Targaryen illusion)
- Summary: The king announces the betrothal of his youngest daughter, you, to Tyland Lannister. But even the Lannister Lord is taken off guard, as there has been some miscommunication regarding the proposal.
- Pairing: targ!reader/Tyland Lannister
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Previous part: family
- Next part: flight of fancy
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround @misspendragonsworld
- A/N: I've manged to post this before work. 🙂
Tyland Lannister was finally having a rare moment of peace and intimacy with you. After days of dragon-induced chaos, visiting family, and Daemon Targaryen stirring up the Lannisters with his stories, it seemed the gods had granted you both a quiet night. The castle was still, and Tyland was feeling genuinely relaxed, a rare occurrence since your arrival at Casterly Rock with dragons in tow.
Just as he leaned in, savoring the warmth of your touch, a loud thud rattled the walls, followed by what sounded disturbingly like... splattering. Tyland bolted upright, nearly falling off the bed as he pulled the sheets with him in his haste. “Seven hells! What was that?”
You, trying to suppress a laugh at his undignified scramble, gave him an amused look. “Probably nothing... although, with dragons around, who can say?”
Tyland shot you a look, his face half-frustrated, half-alarmed, as he wrapped himself in the sheets and stumbled over to the balcony. Pulling the doors open, he took a cautious step outside, peering down at the scene below.
And that’s when he saw it—a dead sheep, splattered rather horrifically across the stones below, looking as though it had been launched like a projectile. Tyland let out a strangled groan, rubbing his forehead. “Oh, for the love of...”
From somewhere above, he heard a distinct, high-pitched screech, followed by the heavy flap of wings. Squinting into the night sky, he spotted Viseron, diving down with a wriggling sheep in his claws, only to toss it in the air like a plaything. Caraxes swooped in from the other side, catching the unfortunate creature mid-air with his jaws before tossing it back in what could only be described as a deadly game of catch.
“Viseron!” Tyland yelled, waving his arms in a desperate attempt to gain the dragon’s attention. “Stop using my courtyard as a... a slaughterhouse!”
As if on cue, a third sheep plummeted past the balcony, landing with a sickening splat right next to the first. Tyland recoiled, his face turning a shade paler. “This... this is absurd. How did we end up here?”
You stifled a laugh behind him, joining him at the balcony with a playful smile. “Well, they are dragons, Tyland. They need to entertain themselves somehow.”
Tyland gave you an incredulous look. “By catapulting sheep at my walls? This isn’t a game!”
Just then, the doors to your chambers burst open, and young Daemon appeared, out of breath and clearly excited. “Father, Mother, have you seen Viseron? He’s been practicing ‘catch’ with Caraxes all night!”
Tyland’s eye twitched, and he forced himself to take a deep breath. “Yes, I’m aware, son. And it appears that ‘catch’ is claiming half the local flock as casualties.”
Alyssa appeared at the doorway behind her brother, looking equally entertained. “They’re just having fun, Father. You should see the shepherd’s face. He doesn’t know whether to bow or faint.”
Tyland groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I’m quite certain it’s the latter.” He turned to you, his face caught between exasperation and defeat. “This was supposed to be our time, our rare moment of quiet.”
You patted his shoulder soothingly. “Think of it this way—you’ll have quite the story to tell at the next council meeting.”
Tyland rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t entirely suppress the hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Yes, how my home was laid siege to... by my own dragons.”
Just as he said it, another sheep hurtled past, barely missing the edge of the balcony. Tyland flinched, muttering a quick prayer under his breath. “Enough!” he yelled, leaning over the railing to shout into the courtyard below. “Viseron! Caraxes! Find another game!”
But the dragons, thoroughly absorbed in their antics, paid him no mind. Viseron swooped down again, only to launch another sheep upward, which Caraxes caught with alarming precision. The sheep landed somewhere near the stables, prompting a startled yell from a stable hand who had been minding his own business.
Young Daemon was watching with a gleam of admiration in his eye. “See? They’re getting so good at it!”
“Good at... what, exactly?” Tyland muttered, slumping back against the doorframe, eyes wide with exasperation.
Alyssa nudged her father with a grin. “Well, at least they’re not burning the castle down.”
Tyland shot her a look, torn between laughing and sighing. “It’s a close second.”
You slipped your arm around his waist, giving him a reassuring smile. “This is life with dragons, Tyland. And besides... they’ll tire themselves out soon enough.”
As if on cue, the distant sound of a sheep landing somewhere far too close to the kitchens echoed through the night, followed by another startled shout from below. Tyland closed his eyes, muttering under his breath, “I’m moving to Pentos. Alone.”
But as he looked at his family, even in the chaos of flying sheep and dragon mischief, he couldn’t help but smile. It was absurd, loud, and completely unpredictable—just like life with Targaryens.
And, he supposed, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Morning at Casterly Rock was not the peaceful start to the day Jason Lannister had been hoping for. The courtyard was a scene of utter carnage, littered with what was left of the sheep flock from the night’s dragon-led game of “catch.” The shepherds had gathered nearby, their faces as pale as the blood-streaked stones that no amount of scrubbing seemed able to restore to their former glory.
Jason paced back and forth, practically pulling his hair out. “Blood... everywhere! Sheep parts strewn about the courtyard like some twisted banquet. And the stonemasons are saying it’ll take days—days—to get it all cleaned up!”
Standing nearby, Prince Daemon watched the frantic Lannister with an amused smirk. He crossed his arms, leaning casually against the wall as if the entire courtyard hadn’t become a scene straight out of a butcher’s worst nightmare.
“Jason,” Daemon said, his voice as smooth as silk, “you’re overthinking it. It’s just a little blood. Adds character to the place.”
“Character?” Jason shot back, his face a mix of horror and disbelief. “This is Casterly Rock, not some... back alley slaughterhouse!”
Daemon chuckled, clearly unfazed. “Consider it a touch of Targaryen decor. A reminder of power.” He gestured grandly to the blood-streaked courtyard. “Think of it this way—no one will ever mistake this place for a mere stronghold again.”
Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly regretting every decision that had brought him to this moment. “I... I don’t think that’s the image I was hoping for.”
Just then, Tyland appeared, his hair slightly disheveled and an unmistakable air of sulking about him. He gave Daemon a pointed look, clearly still bitter about last night’s “interruptions.” “Enjoyed yourself, I see?” he muttered, his tone laced with sarcasm.
Daemon raised an eyebrow, his smirk growing wider. “Ah, Tyland, I’d heard you were a man who knew how to let loose. Has the golden lion lost his edge?”
Tyland sighed heavily, clearly not in the mood for Daemon’s teasing. “I’ve simply been reminded that ‘alone time’ is a luxury not afforded to those with dragons... or Targaryen family members, it seems.”
Daemon laughed, clapping Tyland on the shoulder with enough force to almost make him stumble. “Consider it my gift to you, Lord Tyland—a little taste of excitement to keep things lively here at Casterly Rock. And if I recall, you seemed to enjoy our wedding’s ‘alternative’ festivities.”
Tyland’s mouth opened, but no words came out, his face somewhere between a groan and a resigned smile. “I’ll remember this, Daemon.”
Jason, still looking around in horror at the blood-streaked stones, muttered, “If you’re finished reminiscing about your escapades, can we discuss how to get this... mess... cleaned up?”
Daemon’s smirk turned into something more serious as he straightened. “Actually, I came to talk about something else entirely. Casterly Rock is lovely, blood-soaked or not, but I’ve got my sights set on something a little more... historic.”
Tyland raised an eyebrow, wary. “And what might that be?”
“Harrenhal,” Daemon declared, his eyes gleaming with the thrill of the plan. “I’m going to claim it. And once I do, I want your armies, Jason—Lannister troops to march on the Riverlands. With Harrenhal as our stronghold, we’ll press forward. It’s time to remind the Riverlords of their loyalties.”
Jason’s mouth dropped open. “Harrenhal? You mean the cursed castle where every lord dies within a fortnight?”
Daemon waved a hand dismissively. “Superstitions. Curses can’t touch a dragon, Jason.” He leaned in, his gaze sharp. “And with the Lannister armies behind me, the Hightowers won’t know what hit them. The Riverlands will be ours.”
Tyland’s eyes narrowed, glancing at Jason. “You realize he’s roping you into this chaos, don’t you?”
Jason ran a hand through his hair, visibly torn. “Do we... do we even have a choice? With three dragons in our midst and the Riverlands hanging in the balance?”
Daemon grinned, his tone persuasive. “You have a choice, Lord Jason, but let’s be honest—do you really want to miss the chance to show the Hightowers that the lions of Casterly Rock don’t cower?”
Jason glanced at Tyland, sighing heavily. “It seems I’m cursed either way. Either I face the Targaryen dragons... or the wrath of my own household.”
Tyland placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, half-reassuring, half-sympathetic. “Welcome to life with dragons, Jason. No matter what you choose, there’s always fire involved.”
Daemon, clearly pleased, clapped his hands together. “Then it’s settled. The Riverlands will soon know the strength of our combined houses. And when I claim Harrenhal, we’ll march with a force even the Hightowers won’t dare ignore.”
Jason gave the blood-streaked courtyard one last, defeated look, muttering under his breath. “Wonderful. A cursed castle, a blood-soaked courtyard, and a family of dragonlords. Exactly what I dreamed of when I took on Casterly Rock.”
Daemon, catching the muttered complaint, only laughed, throwing an arm around Jason’s shoulder. “Oh, come now, Jason. This is just the beginning of the excitement. Stick with us, and Casterly Rock will go down in history.”
Tyland groaned softly, already mentally preparing himself for the chaos to come. “Let’s just hope it’s for something more than sheep.”
Alyssa and young Daemon, feeling the thrill of adventure coursing through their veins, had been itching to test the speed of their dragons, Grey Ghost and Viseron. One sunny morning, after managing to slip away from the watchful eyes of their parents, the two teens found themselves perched on the cliffs overlooking Casterly Rock, their dragons poised and ready. Daemon grinned, his face alight with mischief as he turned to his sister.
“Alright, Alyssa,” he called over the rumbling of Grey Ghost and Viseron’s eager wings. “Let’s make this interesting—a race to Storm’s End. First one there wins.”
Alyssa’s eyes sparkled with the challenge. “And what does the winner get?”
Daemon thought for a moment, his grin widening. “Loser has to sneak into the kitchens and smuggle out the largest pie they can find—after explaining it to Father if they get caught.”
“Deal!” Alyssa laughed, patting Grey Ghost’s neck affectionately. “Prepare to lose, brother.”
With a nod, they launched into the sky, Grey Ghost and Viseron darting off over the Westerlands with an exhilarating speed that left dust clouds in their wake. They soared high above fields and forests, cutting across the continent with the wind whipping around them, racing past rivers and hills, their laughter ringing through the air.
By the time Storm’s End came into view, they were neck and neck, each urging their dragon forward with determined cries. But just as they neared the massive fortress, a shadow loomed above them—a larger, darker shadow. They looked up to see none other than Aemond and Vhagar, on their way to Storm’s End.
Alyssa and Daemon exchanged a look of pure, mischievous delight. “Half-uncle Aemond,” Daemon murmured, an amused grin spreading across his face. “Fancy meeting him here.”
Alyssa snickered, leaning forward to whisper to Grey Ghost. “What do you say? Let’s see if we can... distract him a bit.”
They veered toward Aemond, circling him with laughter as Viseron and Grey Ghost darted in and out of Vhagar’s path, causing the massive dragon to huff in irritation. Aemond shot them a glare that could have withered flowers, his single eye narrowing as he tried to keep control over Vhagar, who was clearly getting fed up with the antics of the younger dragons.
“Get out of my way!” Aemond shouted, his voice thunderous as he leaned forward in the saddle, trying to steer Vhagar back on course. But Alyssa and Daemon had no intention of making it easy for him.
Viseron swooped down beneath Vhagar, skimming dangerously close to the larger dragon’s wings. Grey Ghost took the opportunity to soar up and over, flipping in the air with a grace that made Vhagar growl in frustration. Alyssa and Daemon exchanged a delighted glance, enjoying every second of the chaos they were causing.
“Looks like Vhagar’s not as quick on her wings as we thought,” Daemon taunted, his voice carrying over the wind.
Aemond’s scowl deepened, and he jerked at Vhagar’s reins, trying to maneuver the dragon into position. But between the smaller, nimbler dragons, Vhagar was forced into a frenzy of awkward twists and turns, all while the two teenagers laughed from their respective dragons’ backs.
Alyssa leaned forward, her voice carrying a note of wicked delight. “Having trouble, Uncle?”
Aemond, red-faced with fury, tried to steer Vhagar into a dive to catch Grey Ghost, but Alyssa was faster, pulling up just in time to send Vhagar hurtling toward Storm’s End itself. With a horrified expression, Aemond pulled at the reins, but Vhagar’s momentum was too great. The massive dragon slammed into one of the towers, causing a shuddering crash that sent stones and dust cascading down into the courtyard below.
Alyssa and Daemon, now circling above, burst into laughter as they watched their half-uncle emerge from the dust, looking dazed and thoroughly disheveled. Vhagar, too, let out a disgruntled roar, clearly none too pleased with her rider’s poor navigation skills.
“Perhaps next time, watch where you’re going!” Daemon called out, waving cheekily as he and Alyssa veered away from Storm’s End.
Aemond, shaking his fist after them, was left seething as they soared back westward, still laughing. Alyssa glanced over at her brother, her grin as wide as ever. “Well, that was entertaining.”
Daemon nodded, patting Viseron’s neck. “And I think we won that little race, don’t you?”
“Oh, definitely.” Alyssa’s laughter rang out as they headed home. “I wonder how we’ll explain this to Father.”
Daemon shrugged, a wicked gleam in his eye. “We don’t. Let’s see if we can make it back before he even knows we’re gone.”
And with that, the two raced back toward the Westerlands, leaving a furious Aemond and a bruised tower at Storm’s End far behind.
Finally, with the children off on their adventures, Jason and Prince Daemon marching on Harrenhal, and the courtyard blessedly free of any sheep remains, you and Tyland had a rare moment of quiet solitude in your chambers at Casterly Rock. It had taken careful planning, but at last, all seemed blissfully peaceful.
Tyland had just poured two goblets of wine, his smile relaxed as he leaned back beside you. “It feels strange, doesn’t it?” he murmured, clearly savoring the quiet. “No dragons, no children, no unexpected intrusions…”
You grinned, watching him savor the silence. “It is rare,” you agreed. After a moment, you set your goblet down and reached for his hand, meeting his gaze with a mischievous glint in your eye. “Actually, there is one small piece of news I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Tyland arched an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? Something to add to our peaceful evening?”
You smiled, squeezing his hand gently. “Yes. I’m with child, Tyland.”
For a moment, Tyland was speechless, his face a mix of surprise and joy that quickly morphed into… well, something closer to panic.
“Oh... another child,” he stammered, his eyes widening as realization dawned. “Another… dragon.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his immediate thought. “Perhaps another dragon, yes. Or perhaps not. But I can tell you’re delighted.”
Tyland’s hand went to his forehead, his face a perfect mixture of pride, terror, and exhaustion. “Delighted, yes! Just... imagining what new chaos will ensue. As if Daemon and Alyssa haven’t given us enough adventures.”
You laughed, pulling him close. “It’ll be a new adventure. And you’ve proven yourself quite adept at handling dragons and Targaryens alike.”
Tyland gave you a wry smile. “I was hoping we’d conquered all the Targaryen surprises for a while.”
Just as he finished speaking, a loud, startled screech echoed from outside. You both froze, exchanging a glance, and Tyland’s expression shifted to one of reluctant dread. “That... was Silverwing, wasn’t it?”
You nodded, trying not to laugh as another, louder thud shook the window, rattling the shutters. Moments later, Viseron’s massive bronze head and wide golden-green eye appeared right at the window, peering in with intense curiosity.
Tyland let out a very undignified yelp and leapt to his feet, scrambling backward so fast that he bumped into a nearby cabinet, knocking over the wine and sending it splashing across the floor. “Seven hells!” he gasped, clutching his chest. “Must he always appear like that?”
Viseron gave a low, amused rumble, almost as if he were answering the question. You placed a calming hand on Tyland’s arm, stifling your laughter. “Relax, love. The children have simply returned home.”
Tyland shook his head, muttering something about Targaryens and their penchant for grand entrances. “Of course, they have,” he said, attempting to straighten his tunic. “Because gods forbid we get one peaceful evening alone.”
Viseron, clearly pleased with himself, gave a final low snort before shifting to one side, revealing young Daemon perched on Viseron’s back, grinning down at you through the window.
“Mother! Father!” Daemon called cheerfully, giving a wave. “We’re back!”
Tyland cast you a look of pure exasperation, though you could see the reluctant fondness behind it. “Yes,” he muttered, “I had gathered that.”
Alyssa leaned over from Grey Ghost’s saddle in the background, waving. “Did you miss us?”
You smiled, calling up to them. “Of course, we did. You didn’t cause too much trouble, I hope?”
Tyland muttered under his breath, “I’m sure we’ll hear all about the trouble shortly.”
But as he watched you smile up at the children, his panic from earlier melted into a look of resignation mixed with warmth. He wrapped his arm around you, shaking his head. “Well, I suppose I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
And as Viseron’s golden-green eye continued to peer in at you from the window, Tyland sighed, already bracing himself for the new adventures that lay ahead—whether he was ready for them or not.
#house of the dragon#hotd x reader#hotd#hotd x you#hotd x y/n#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fire and blood#hotd tyland#tyland lannister#tyland x you#tyland x y/n#tyland x reader#house lannister#house targaryen#a lion's leap
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240126-27: house rave with chloe friday evening to support ralphie, who has an art booth there. supposed to be from 11pm-12pm the next day. i stay until 4am and decide to leave bc im supposed to be meeting up with lorenzo saturday noon. google maps AND chrono tell me the bus will be a few minutes late. i leave EARLY to get to the bus ON TIME in case its NOT late. i get to the bus stop one minute before the right bus time. there is no bus. i look at google maps. the bus departed EARLY FFS. i go back to the rave and decide to wait for the metro to restart bc there is no other optimal night bus routes. i take another pill of molly bc atp wtf am i supposed to do. however at some point, ralphie thinks they might’ve gotten roofied. we’re like ok we’ll stay with you. they start getting really sleepy, not sure if it’s just tiredness or actually roofing. chloe watches over ralphie’s booth while i go to the bed to watch over them while they sleep. i’m high af at that point and i’m sitting there shaking trying to make yzl’s departure necklace while surrounded by so much weed i can barely see lmfao. chloe comes to sleep too. i’m watching over both of them but they’re fucking SOUND asleep so i don’t dare wake them up to leave. moss comes around 8am to check on us. at this point people are clearing out, they’re making breakfast and the sun is up. i leave the bed but have to go watch over ralphie’s booth. a bit before 9am i’m like fuck i have to go + there’s barely anyone anymore so i go tell asleep ralphie and chloe that i’m leaving (moss is still there so).
i get home at around 9am. take care of cat. take a shower bc i’m probably covered in weed. try to listen to 4th wall while in bed and end up falling asleep probably like 30 min my supposed wake-up time.
i’m supposed to meet lorenzo at 12:30……. i wake up at 1:45pm. i want to kms. i srsly consider just never answering him and like ,,,, yeah. block him and let him believe im a catfish. but i’m shameless so. i apologize profusely. still want to kms. feels like the world is ending bc it’s so embarrassing and just SO terrible so so so bad and terrible. he’s the most understanding ever which makes me feel like even more shit. he tells me we can meet quickly at the metro to say hi. i consider not going bc that’s so embarrassing how can i even face him like he should be cutting me tf off. but i go bc i have to apologize in person. we say hi. i apologize profusely. i give him a pretty rock mel gave me (long story). he’s so sweet and forgiving and understanding it makes me feel even shittier. but somehow i lowkey almost feel more bonded?? if our friendship can survive this then !!
that’s it, the crazy ends here. i spend the evening with yzl for the last time before her exchange. she sheds a few tears at my letters (i cooked) which makes me feel so much love for her and so loved in return. friendship is beautiful! friendship is rewarding! there is nothing that has been quite as emotional gratifying as friendship! i am so so so emotionally fulfilled by my friendships <3
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~ Keeping Connected ~ ~ <3
Latest drabble now up! (i’ll finish my actual stories soon..)
See it on FF here
Based on FT: 100 Year Quest chapter 113 cover, you know what it is ;)
Keeping Connected
Juvia was paced around her room in her pyjama set, biting her lip as she glanced at the clock. One thing Juvia admitted was she wasn’t particularly great at being patient. Although she was sure the guild might argue differently.
‘I’d imagined he’d be finished by now, right?’ she thought to herself.
All day she had been waiting for the clock to turn to 7pm, perfectly timing her entire day so she’d be fed, showered and ready for that exact time. But currently it was 5 past, and she just couldn’t keep still.
She glanced at the lacrima phone lying on her bed and turned her head away, knowing however long she looked at the phone, it wasn’t going to make him call any sooner.
She sighed and wriggled her toes in her fluffy cream carpet she was pacing upon, thinking of the reasons why he was late calling, but her thoughts were interrupted by a jiggle going off and the lacrima screen lighting up.
She almost pounced on the thing, but managed to keep hold of her nerves and wait for the second jiggle before answering. She couldn’t make out that she had been waiting all day for the thing to ring, although that’s exactly what he would assume she’d been doing.
‘Hello?’ She said in a small voice. She’d never owned a personal lacrima before as she never thought of much use for it, but the last time Team Natsu had magically appeared once again in their guild, Gray had gotten her one before they had to leave again. Saying something about not knowing how long this mission will go on for, or when they next might be back for a break, and it’d be good for them to keep in touch for the time in between.
‘Hey’, a husky voice replied back.
Juvia screamed internally. She didn’t realise how much she missed his voice and why it had to sound so much sexier over lacrima.
‘Hi’ she breathed. It was actually working. Gray was mavis knows where across the world, but now he was basically right in Juvia’s ear, the thought almost making her giggle.
‘Is that all you’re going to say?’ Gray replied with a chuckle.
Juvia started to panic, ‘ummmmm…’. With her excitement taking all her attention, no words or conversational ideas were forming in her mind.
Gray laughed again at the usual whirlwind that lived in that girl’s head. ‘It’s all right, so how was your day?’
Her day? What did she do apart from prepare for this call? She couldn’t tell him that! ‘Ah it was fine thankyou Gray-sama, just a usual day at the guild really. How was yours?
‘Ah it was a busy one. We left the map with Natsu for a split second and somehow ended up in a small village in the complete opposite way, but for the most part it’s been fine.’
Juvia chuckled at the tale of her hectic friends, ‘So a typical day for you then as well.’ she said with a smile. ‘Do you know your plan for your next location?’
‘Hmmmm, I think Erza has managed to find us back onto the right path, then onto the next dragon location really. Sorry I can’t go into too much detail about the mission…’
Juvia responded with a hmmm. She sat back on her heels on her bed, cuddling her gray sama love pillow she always kept there.
‘Although you’d love it at this place we’ve ended up at, I think there’s some festival going on around the main castle walls. We’ll have to try and find this place again and join in next time.’
Juvia's heart swelled, she was still getting used to these odd moments for Gray when he planned their ‘not-date’ dates, whether he realised it or not. ‘I’d really like that Gray-sama’.
There were some bickering voices in the back, and Gray let out a slightly irritated sigh. ‘Looks like I better get back to the group, sorry we didn’t get to talk for long’.
‘No worries Gray-sama, it was nice to hear your voice’.
‘...yours too, and… I hope getting you the lacrima wasn’t too strange. I just thought that even when we’re apart…’
‘Our hearts will always be connected!’ Juvia finished triumphantly.
“Sure Juvia.’ Gray said with a low laugh. That wasn’t exactly what he was going to say, but it seemed to please her. ‘Talk soon, cya.’
‘Bye Gray-sama!’
The line disconnected to Juvia’s dismay, but she rolled onto her back and squealed again, legs wiggling in the air. She suddenly froze to make sure the line was fully disconnected, and seeing the screen blank she carried on her mini celebration.
Juvia was curious how often Gray would end up calling her, but knowing he had found them a way to communicate when they were apart filled her with joy and she was excited to see what else will change between them in the future.
~~ Hope you enjoyed uwu ~~
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There is so much speculation about the Snowsequel! We have the “doom” side and we have the “Jonsa can still win” side and it’s kind of entertaining to see both sides lol. I am a bit surprised by the antis reaction too, it’s incredible how much they still hate Sansa when by show canon the one who actually won the game of thrones and wears the crown that was supposed to be Dragon Barbie’s was Bran??
Funny how they don’t say anything about how Bran will die and how much Jon hates him? Hmmm.
Anyway, I was wondering something about the show. We could say that technically all the Starks had a happy ending except Jon. In spite of the awful writing we can see how Sansa has a purpose, Bran is ruling, and Arya is out there having fun and discovering stuff.
But Jon is...punished, or exiled, or something like that, leaving audiences confused. They refused to present Jon as the villain and yet, he didn’t end as a hero either.
I find it quite suspicious, because in the final montage they present all the Starks as happy, and let Jon keep his sword and Ghost and his wildling friends and that is not the ending of a failed leader, or a broken man, cursed by kinslaying. Either Jon is part of the pack and somehow ends on top like the rest of them, or...falls and ends like a villain. In which case his ending should have been even worse that it was.
So, to me, Jon’s ending is purposely obscured and there is something inexplicable about his not cursed ending (as there is for Tyrion, but I digress).
Do you think the show omitted essential info (idk, something about Brandon’s Gift or something) about how Jon ends in the North again?
I’m on the “doom” side but I’m cheering on the “Jonsa can still win” side!
It really doesn’t matter to me if the rest of the fandom likes Sansa or not, but the obsessive hatred of her in some corners is disturbing. I guess maybe D&D spared Bran some hate by ignoring him instead of subjecting him to their crap writing and the the fandom kinda follows their lead and ignores him too. Silver linings? 😬
“...and let Jon keep his sword and Ghost and his wildling friends and that is not the ending of a failed leader, or a broken man, cursed by kinslaying”
I like your evidence that Jon isn’t cursed/this isn’t meant to be a hopeless ending for him. It’s certainly possible that D&D, out of fear of backlash if they gave Dany’s assassin a good ending, chose to send him to the Wall again rather than give him an unambiguously good ending. The riding off with the FF thing could have even been them thinking, “well gee, he’s our second most popular character, maybe it’s too much to send him to the Wall. Let’s fuzzy this ending to allow people to imagine it anywhere on the scale of back in the Watch or fucking off forever to make snow angels with Tormund.” I did think a lot of s8 was written to manage the audience, not to tell a good/believable story, so I wouldn’t put it past them to have had such a though process. There’s also the possibility that the weirdness around Jon’s ending could simply be the product of their failure to communicate well. The actors have said things that contradict the director of any given episode and D&D contradict that, and each other, and themselves, so that may be the explanation. They were each telling a different story? I mean, reading the finale script was surreal because some of what was said wasn’t really the same as what we saw 😂
When I heard Martin was on board for the Jonsquel, I did think maybe it pointed to the endgame being Jon in exile before a Jonsa reunion when they’re older. I’m not sure who pointed this out after the finale, but it would be another parallel between Aragorn and Arwen if this was the case. Aragorn fell in love with Arwen but then went off as a ranger for some time before they were reunited. It’s possible Martin thought to the end the stories with a promise that a sequel could explore, but then again, it could just be him trying to prevent HBO from going further off the rails with Jon. I’m trying not to read too much into it because I’m not sure that he could put the kibosh on anything even if he really disliked the idea, so I don’t think it confirms anything.
Jon, Lord of the Gift, is a very popular theory in our circle and for good reason. I can’t remember who started it now, but I think of it as istumpysk and agentrouka-blog‘s baby, each of whom I consider more an ASOIAF expert than myself. However, I totally believed Martin that GoT’s ending would be his, and in spite of how I feel about the ending, I’ve never been able to let that belief go, no matter how much I want to. I’m not going to try to persuade people not to believe in alternative endings, I’d like to believe it myself! This one in particular has lots of quotes that make you go 👀👀👀
"Who holds this land?" Jojen asked Bran.
"The Night's Watch," he answered. "This is the Gift. The New Gift, and north of that Brandon's Gift." Maester Luwin had taught him the history. "Brandon the Builder gave all the land south of the Wall to the black brothers, to a distance of twenty-five leagues. For their . . . for their sustenance and support." He was proud that he still remembered that part. "Some maesters say it was some other Brandon, not the Builder, but it's still Brandon's Gift. Thousands of years later, Good Queen Alysanne visited the Wall on her dragon Silverwing, and she thought the Night's Watch was so brave that she had the Old King double the size of their lands, to fifty leagues. So that was the New Gift." He waved a hand. "Here. All this." (ASOS, Bran III)
(each time we get Brandon confusion sirens go off in my head!)
and
"What happened to them?"
"They died or went away." Brandon's Gift had been farmed for thousands of years, but as the Watch dwindled there were fewer hands to plow the fields, tend the bees, and plant the orchards, so the wild had reclaimed many a field and hall. In the New Gift there had been villages and holdfasts whose taxes, rendered in goods and labor, helped feed and clothe the black brothers. But those were largely gone as well.
and
After. The word was a spear thrust. After the war. After the conquest. After the wildlings break the Wall . . . His lord father had once talked about raising new lords and settling them in the abandoned holdfasts as a shield against wildlings. The plan would have required the Watch to yield back a large part of the Gift, but his uncle Benjen believed the Lord Commander could be won around, so long as the new lordlings paid taxes to Castle Black rather than Winterfell. "It is a dream for spring, though," Lord Eddard had said. "Even the promise of land will not lure men north with a winter coming on."
If winter had come and gone more quickly and spring had followed in its turn, I might have been chosen to hold one of these towers in my father's name. Lord Eddard was dead, however, his brother Benjen lost; the shield they dreamt together would never be forged. "This land belongs to the Watch," Jon said.
(ASOS, Jon V)
and
Jon ignored that. "I have given you fodder for your horses, and once the stair is done I will lend you builders to restore the Nightfort. I have even agreed to allow you to settle wildlings on the Gift, which was given to the Night's Watch in perpetuity." (ADWD, Jon I) it’s included in The World of Ice and Fire
and
Though in these days it is said that Lord Ellard Stark was glad to aid the Night's Watch with the Gift, and took little convincing, the truth is otherwise. Letters from Lord Stark's brother to the Citadel, asking the maesters to provide precedents against the forced donation of property, made it plain that the Starks were not eager to do as King Jaehaerys bid. It may be that the Starks feared that, under the control of the Castle Black, the New Gift would inevitably decline—for the Night's Watch would always look northward and never give much thought to their new tenants to the south. And as it happens, that soon came to pass, and the New Gift is now said to be largely unpopulated thanks to the decline of the Watch and the rising toll taken by raiders from beyond the Wall. (The World of Ice and Fire - The North: The Lords of Winterfell)
The fact that this is an old Stark grievance and Ned and Benjen had plans to deal with it is very promising. Rectifying that old wrong, making the land safe and purposeful again, that definitely seems like it would fit really well as part of the endgame. I always liked the idea that Jon could take the throne, but instead makes it possible for Bran to be king to right the aftermath of the conquest (if we assume independence for Dorne as well, not just the North?), so if the followup to that is Jon getting to live out an abandoned dream…that’s beautiful! And it makes sense that Jon would be the candidate who can best keep peace between FF (those who settle South of the Wall, any who don’t) and the Northerners. So, it certainly is an idea that we can look at the books and argue there is evidence Martin is heading there.
And I do believe that D&D were so determined people wouldn’t guess the ending that they could have chosen not to do the necessary set up and then sent Jon to the Wall because there didn’t have anything else to do. I’ve also seen spec that their ending is premature, that Jon is sentenced but then Sansa as QitN brings Jon home. After s8, it’s impossible to think D&D cared much about Jon/his ending, so I do always have that little bit of hope that theirs is a variation of the ending, not the real ending.
I have a big gripe with the ending as it stands for Jon reasons (obviously) but also, I don’t think the Watch should continue to exist? Forcing these kids to swear away wives/children/their lives is gross. But, I don’t have anything that I can point to as proof that the Watch will be disbanded. I find that possibly wishful thinking on my part. Although, I don’t know why we spend so much time witnessing the futility of making kids forswear family if there isn’t some change. And the one thing that does give me hope there (and this would indicate Jon’s ending is something else) is that I believe the Wall will fall, so something about how the Watch functions will change. One other thing that seems promising is the inclusion of the idea of being a shield/protector of the North in both the Watch’s vows and the Gift idea:
“the shield that guards the realms of men” which makes the quotes about the Gift very very interesting: “as a shield against wildlings” and “the shield they dreamt together would never be forged” (AGOT, Jon VI; ASOS, Jon V)
If the Others are completely gone, the main problem in the North would be reconciling the two cultures, finding a way for the FF to live without being a threat to or threatened by the Northern lords. Jon could be the means of progressing Ned and Benjen’s plan into the future/using his sympathy and understanding of the FF he’s developed through the series while continuing to shoulder this role he picked up in AGOT.
And yet, because of things Martin has said in general about the tone he wants for his ending, because of what he’s said about his favorite type of romances (I am a firm believer in Jonsa, just not the HEA kind anymore), and lines in Jon chapters that in hindsight are pretty upsetting, I accept that he always intended Jon to go back to the Wall or a self-imposed exile. I’m not happy about that, but there are some things I just can’t believe were D&D’s idea. It’s a little too tidy when s7-8 had so so so much sloppiness.
I was rereading AGOT, and I simply can’t accept that Martin wasn’t writing AGOT, Jon VIII without thinking of ways to further test Jon. I don’t think he wrote that convo with Aemon solely about Jon attempting to leave the Wall in AGOT, or about Jon trying to leave in ADWD. It feels like the grounding for Jon’s final test, the same way we’re clued into Bran’s role in defeating the others in AGOT, the same way we’re hammered over the head with Arya’s noncomfority and strong sense of justice, the same way Sansa is the voice against violence and the representation of innocents who suffer as a result...Jon’s fate seems clearly fixed in the author’s mind with the love/son/family issue mentioned before he joins the Watch, brought up again here, and so damn likely in the end. And, the sacrifice that it would entail makes the ending meaningful. If Jon were to betray and/or kill Dany onyl to escape any consequences, I think it wouldn’t tell the story Martin wanted to tell with him.
The ending of this Jaime chapter seems very significant when it is followed by the Jon chapter in which he is sent off to assassinate Mance:
Defeated in the Whispering Wood by the Young Wolf Robb Stark during the War of the Five Kings. Held captive at Riverrun and ransomed for a promise unfulfilled. Captured again by the Brave Companions, and maimed at the word of Vargo Hoat their captain, losing his sword hand to the blade of Zollo the Fat. Returned safely to King's Landing by Brienne, the Maid of Tarth.
When he was done, more than three-quarters of his page still remained to be filled between the gold lion on the crimson shield on top and the blank white shield at the bottom. Ser Gerold Hightower had begun his history, and Ser Barristan Selmy had continued it, but the rest Jaime Lannister would need to write for himself. He could write whatever he chose, henceforth.
Whatever he chose . . . (ASOS, Jaime IX)
The crimson and white is very Jon, there’s always a lot about those two colors and him, blood on snow, and there’s this very interesting quote in the following Jon chapter:
"Aye," Slynt said. "A blind man with a chain about his neck, who does he think he is?"
Aemon Targaryen, Jon thought, a king's son and a king's brother and a king who might have been. But he said nothing. (ASOS, Jon X)
I always thought there was a lot to mine in the Jon and Jaime parallels although I haven’t read all that much about them. I wrote this little thing after s8 though because again, some of this stuff folds together a little too well to be a coincidence. But anyway, this idea of determining who you want to be, accepting the consequences of those actions and what people may then think of you, choosing your fate...this will be a huge thing for Jon going forward, and the line “he said nothing” really gives me pause. I find the idea that Jon might choose to be Snow rather than Stark or Targ very compelling. The idea of him remaining Snow only has meaning if he makes that choice, creates himself, chooses his own path, so to me, having the chance at a Stark crown and then a Targ one, refusing both, that’s rewarding. It’s my preferred reading. And, it actually brings me back to your mention of Jon’s sword. It isn’t the Stark sword, and the Mormont bear was replaced with Ghost, so it fits well with Jon’s being his own person, shaped by Ned’s ideals but influenced by other mentor figures, given a weapon that Ned didn’t offer him the same way Jon’s additional mentors teach him things/encourage him to function in ways Ned wouldn’t have…lots of fun things to think about there. Also, Bran has a peculiar line that could eventually be a parallel line to Jon’s, wishing for Summer, rather than the Stark sigil, on his chest,
“He would sooner have had Summer than a silver wolf on his breast” (ACOK, Bran III)
By that I mean, Jon having Longclaw in the end of GoT and Bran a raven sigil isn’t necessarily out of nowhere. The idea that neither is an extension of House Stark but rather, the outgrowth of good things into far bigger, and also, far more personal things...well...that seems very likely although, not really what we would want if the endgame is Jon married to Sansa in Winterfell.
This ASOS chapter stresses me too. The combination of R+L=J, Jon having to assassinate someone, and all of it preceded by this--
A grim day. Jon Snow wrapped gloved hands around the bars and held tight as the wind hammered at the cage once more. When he looked straight down past his feet, the ground was lost in shadow, as if he were being lowered into some bottomless pit. Well, death is a bottomless pit of sorts, he reflected, and when this day's work is done my name will be shadowed forever. Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father that he could be as good and true a son as Robb. I made a botch of that. Robb had become a hero king; if Jon was remembered at all, it would be as a turncloak, an oathbreaker, and a murderer. He was glad that Lord Eddard was not alive to see his shame. (ASOS, Jon X)
Well, it looks like a bleak future for our boy. I’ve written alternative interpretations of this quote, and I suppose someone could argue that it is about Jon attempting to leave the Wall in ADWD, but the Aemon reference means this is also about what comes later imo. I’m dragged back to AGOT by this quote, where Jon leaves the Wall and thinks of Aemon and honor and betrayal there as well.
When Jon did not appear to fetch the Old Bear's breakfast from the kitchen, they'd look in his cell and find Longclaw on the bed. It had been hard to abandon it, but Jon was not so lost to honor as to take it with him. Even Jorah Mormont had not done that, when he fled in disgrace. Doubtless Lord Mormont would find someone more worthy of the blade. Jon felt bad when he thought of the old man. He knew his desertion would be salt in the still-raw wound of his son's disgrace. That seemed a poor way to repay him for his trust, but it couldn't be helped. No matter what he did, Jon felt as though he were betraying someone. Even now, he did not know if he was doing the honorable thing. The southron had it easier. They had their septons to talk to, someone to tell them the gods' will and help sort out right from wrong. But the Starks worshiped the old gods, the nameless gods, and if the heart trees heard, they did not speak. (AGOT, Jon IX)
and
But he had not left the Wall for that; he had left because he was after all his father's son, and Robb's brother. The gift of a sword, even a sword as fine as Longclaw, did not make him a Mormont. Nor was he Aemon Targaryen. Three times the old man had chosen, and three times he had chosen honor, but that was him. Even now, Jon could not decide whether the maester had stayed because he was weak and craven, or because he was strong and true. Yet he understood what the old man had meant, about the pain of choosing; he understood that all too well. Tyrion Lannister had claimed that most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it, but Jon was done with denials. He was who he was; Jon Snow, bastard and oathbreaker, motherless, friendless, and damned. For the rest of his life—however long that might be—he would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows who dares not speak his true name. Wherever he might go throughout the Seven Kingdoms, he would need to live a lie, lest every man's hand be raised against him. But it made no matter, so long as he lived long enough to take his place by his brother's side and help avenge his father.
(it is very similar to the ASOS quote)
and then we have this weirdness
He could not see the smile. Hard as he tried, he could not see it. He found himself thinking of the deserter his father had beheaded the day they'd found the direwolves. "You said the words," Lord Eddard had told him. "You took a vow, before your brothers, before the old gods and the new." Desmond and Fat Tom had dragged the man to the stump. Bran's eyes had been wide as saucers, and Jon had to remind him to keep his pony in hand. He remembered the look on Father's face when Theon Greyjoy brought forth Ice, the spray of blood on the snow, the way Theon had kicked the head when it came rolling at his feet. He wondered what Lord Eddard might have done if the deserter had been his brother Benjen instead of that ragged stranger. Would it have been any different? It must, surely, surely … and Robb would welcome him, for a certainty. He had to, or else … It did not bear thinking about. Pain throbbed, deep in his fingers, as he clutched the reins. Jon put his heels into his horse and broke into a gallop, racing down the kingsroad, as if to outrun his doubts. Jon was not afraid of death, but he did not want to die like that, trussed and bound and beheaded like a common brigand. If he must perish, let it be with a sword in his hand, fighting his father's killers. He was no true Stark, had never been one … but he could die like one. Let them say that Eddard Stark had fathered four sons, not three. (AGOT, Jon IX)
And here is where I give up! As always happens when I start looking at passages to help me come to a conclusion, I get less clarity the more I think about them! Not only do we have Jon wrestling with who he wants to be/who he is, what he can/can’t accept of how others view him, betrayal/honor/love/duty, we also have a lot of Stark and Targ stuff in these chapter, as expected. But what the heck is that last thing supposed to mean?
We can interpret all of these in a couple ways, say it’s about one instance and one instance alone, but to me the ASOS chapter means Jon will voluntarily kill Dany. Except, it makes no sense that he would be punished for killing her as she will have burned KL by that point, but that Ned and Benjen thing did make me wonder if, at least at one time, Bran was meant to judge Jon for deserting? Ned was very judgy about Jaime, but there could be no finding fault with Jon if he kills Dany after she’s burned KL to hell. All the same, it’s an odd quote, and it’s interesting that Ned and Benjen are also referenced in that dream for spring idea, so perhaps the idea shifted?
I enjoyed reading Martin talk about his process the other day and I do try to bear in mind he may start down one path towards his goal only to have to give up and forge a different path to reach it:
The judgment idea felt like something he planned to revisit, at least when writing AGOT, because I think Bran has to be contrasted with other leaders so that we have a sense of his justice, not sure how that could possibly work here though. Martin did have Arya kill a deserter which felt very ominous to me. As in, if Starks are killing people for deserting, it wouldn’t be just to show favoritism to a family member and let them go unpunished, but she isn’t Bran so maybe we can ignore that. Obviously no Starks will be killing each other, and the idea of Jon going back to the Wall is dumb as heck, but imo, there’s something Martin wanted to say there once, maybe not now?
Basically, there’s enough stuff in the books that worries me that I can’t convince myself D&D made up his ending entirely on their own. I’m not sure of the path Martin will take to get there, but to me, the biggest indicator that we’re moving somewhere that Martin always intended with Jon --and that it’s the Wall or exile, *cries*-- is the way he builds on Jon’s Aemon connection and what he chooses to include as he does:
It made him feel odd. "My lord, why have you told me this, about Maester Aemon?"
"Must I have a reason?" Mormont shifted in his seat, frowning. "Your brother Robb has been crowned King in the North. You and Aemon have that in common. A king for a brother."
"And this too," said Jon. "A vow." (ACOK, Jon I)
and then
"Aye," Slynt said. "A blind man with a chain about his neck, who does he think he is?"
Aemon Targaryen, Jon thought, a king's son and a king's brother and a king who might have been. But he said nothing. (ASOS, Jon X)
and then this
"His Grace is not an easy man. Few are, who wear a crown. Many good men have been bad kings, Maester Aemon used to say, and some bad men have been good kings."
"He would know." Aemon Targaryen had seen nine kings upon the Iron Throne. He had been a king's son, a king's brother, a king's uncle. "I looked at that book Maester Aemon left me. The Jade Compendium. The pages that told of Azor Ahai. Lightbringer was his sword. Tempered with his wife's blood if Votar can be believed. Thereafter Lightbringer was never cold to the touch, but warm as Nissa Nissa had been warm. In battle the blade burned fiery hot. Once Azor Ahai fought a monster. When he thrust the sword through the belly of the beast, its blood began to boil. Smoke and steam poured from its mouth, its eyes melted and dribbled down its cheeks, and its body burst into flame."
Clydas blinked. "A sword that makes its own heat …" (ADWD, Jon III)
It isn’t conclusive, but the Aemon quotes keep getting those additional “of a king” tidbits that may very well be true for Jon too in the future as they feel increasingly pointed. The fact that Jon’s all important honor/duty vs love conversation with Aemon kicks off all of this and seems to predict a lot about his entire arc and possibly his ending with his attempts to/breaking vows for the Starks, and then there’s the assassination/stabbity stab stuff in such close proximity to those references...well, I don’t think it’s nothing.
I suppose that means, yes, the show omitted essential steps in how Jon ends up where he is, likely, Jon refusing the crown which paves the way for King Bran, and if it is a fate of his own choosing, and in that choice he protects the Starks, his ending would be that of a hero (to us), but a subversion of the generic fantasy in which the secret prince becomes king or the hero is rewarded. If Jon’s actions give him a HEA, it undercuts what it cost him to make those choices, and I’m no longer thinking that’s something Martin will do. He seems pretty into making things painful.
Jon might be in the Watch, possibly even a Lord Commander (again) who makes good on all the promise of the Watch which would be an answer to that mess. He might oversee the settling of the FF in the Gift and see it used the way it was meant to be and keep the peace so maybe that’s how the Gift fits in to such an ending. Or, if his end is in real exile, that Jorah is at the Wall and Jon must stay beyond the Wall for some time, maybe D&D weren’t that wrong?
Another thing D&D (may have) cut that would make Jon’s ending a little more filled out is the fulfillment of this quote:
Benjen Stark stood up. "More's the pity." He put a hand on Jon's shoulder. "Come back to me after you've fathered a few bastards of your own, and we'll see how you feel."
Jon trembled. "I will never father a bastard," he said carefully. "Never!" He spat it out like venom. (AGOT, Jon I)
I’m not sure that the child would be a bastard as I’m a fan of the secret wedding idea, but it’s possible other characters think the child is because Jon can’t be with Sansa due to new hatred for the Targaryens post Dany funtimes. Perhaps, instead of getting that, instead of being King to Sansa’s Queen, it may be Sansa who rules and then her son after her, in which case, Jon would be “uncle” to a king, to callback to that last Aemon quote, and round out all the dad/uncle confusion that happens throughout the story, and circle all the way back to this moment.
@sepedarodatiga wrote about foreshadowing in the show for a Jonsa baby (link) and @istumpysk wrote about book foreshadowing (link), and I think that could be the missing sweet in Jon’s bitter. The idea of Jon not being able to publicly be his son’s father, it’s crappy, but I think it’s very possible that was Martin’s intention when writing AGOT because in the all significant Jon and Aemon convo, we have this:
My grandfather named me for Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, who was his uncle, or his father, depending on which tale you believe. Aemon, he called me …" (AGOT, Jon VIII)
We all seem to be on board with the Jon is Aemon idea, most Jonsas recognize Aemon the Dragonknight as being big Jonsa foreshadowing, so the whole “is it the father or the uncle?” idea...I suppose it could just be about parentage reveal and Ned/dad/uncle, but considering how the son stuff crops up with Jon, I think it’s likely talking about his future, not just his past.
I know this is really rambly and nothing conclusive, but part of my inability to decide on anything specific is that each path prohibits or secures certain endings. If Jon accepts legitimization as a Stark, even if the truth is later revealed to some or becomes public knowledge, I don’t think he could be with Sansa. I just think going from being Jon Snow to Jon Stark to a Targaryen is too much to make the people accept in such a short period of time. So, if he becomes KitN, it’s possible he feels that it is necessary to self-exile because he never should have been king (regardless of any assurance by Sansa to the contrary) and secures her reign by leaving. If on the other hand he refuses it all, defends Sansa as the true Stark heir, well, then when the truth is revealed, we have far less of a mess and it works with my preferred version in which he rejects both Stark and Targ crowns. The problem with that is that I do think Jon bending the knee makes sense as a statement about choosing peace (where Robb didn’t), so he’d need to be king for that. Which brings me to another beloved theory in which Jon becomes KitN, the truth is revealed, so he marries Sansa to keep the North unified, and if that’s the case, if he then bends the knee to another Targaryen, the North may be pissed. If he then somehow ends up entangled in the mess in KL, I’m not sure that he can emerge without being perceived (by non Starks) as yet another Targ in the worst sense. That could be a reason he leaves. He wouldn’t allow his chance at happiness prevent Bran and Sansa from peaceful reigns.
Of course, the one thing we know for sure came from Martin is King Bran, and if Jon or Northern armies are involved or present during the burning of KL (rather than, say coming to the city too late to stop Dany, too late to save Aegon?), then I don’t see how Bran is the peace candidate. Like, how will he distance himself from Jon so effectively that people will voluntarily choose him to rule after that? So, perhaps Jon will arrive too late, deal with the mess, and then get to go home and live in peace. Hope springs eternal no matter how hard I try to prevent it. :)
Anyway, if I had to pick one path, I’d say, it’s a variation of the Aemon stuff. That feels right to me, and then a similar ending at the Watch or exile for some, as yet to be determined, very believable reason. 😑
So, the answer to your question is yes? They stripped his ending of all agency and meaning, I think Jon will have experienced good things that make his sacrifice worth it to him, but also, no, I don’t think it will be that different.
And I really think the meaningful stuff would have transpired pre exile, so I’m not sure that the show will retroactively be able to make it make sense, and I fear, would just continue the course s7-8 set for show Jon. :(
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0011: Mini-sode bonus! Fantastic Four #27
Cover Date: June 1964 On-Sale Date: March 10, 1964
As promised in the final caption of the previous Doctor Strange story, our magician guest stars in this issue of Marvel's flagship series, Fantastic Four. This is Doc's first appearance outside his own series establishing him as a presence in the larger Marvel shared universe. Make no mistake, this is a Fantastic Four story in which the good Doctor has a small, but significant role. We get to see Jack Kirby's interpretation of the character. I don't particularly like it.
The story begins as a typical FF yarn. Reed has invented and is testing some new gadget. Ben tries it out and hilarity ensues. Reed's mental projector has shown an image of Sue. Ben and Johnny chide Reed for not having popped Sue the question yet to which Reed responds he's going ring shopping that very afternoon.
Coincidently, Namor is brooding about Sue in Atlantis. If he had Sue as his queen, he could deal with the fact that his terrible personality has driven away nearly all of his subjects. Damn, Namor! That's some serious shit!
While Reed is out ring shopping, Namor invades the Baxter Building. Apparently Reed hasn't upgraded the security yet. After easily overcoming Ben and Johnny, he kidnaps Sue. Reed returns shortly after and wonders why his buddies are moping at the table. You see, Ben and Johnny prefer to sulk in their depression rather than immediately tell their best friend that Namor broke in and took Sue. You'd think that Johnny, an incredibly powerful hero, would immediately go after her, but sitting at a table with his head in his hands is a better use of his time.
Reed does jump into action immediately (both literally and figuratively) attempting to locate Namor. He tells Johnny and Ben all the things he should have been telling Sue over the last two years. "Uh Oh! Namor's gonna pulverize Reed if he goes alone!" says Johnny. "We gotta get there first! How we gonna do that?" replies Ben. "I got an idea!" says Johnny who flies out the window and leaves a giant flaming message in the sky for Doc. At this point, the FF aren't even sure Doc actually exists. Johnny thinks it's a good idea that this ultra-important mission be left to someone who is possibly a legend.
Fortunately for everyone, Doc does exist. He's gets Johnny's message. By looking out his window? No! He's looking into a crystal ball on a table. He immediately sits in a funky chair (Kirby and Ditko appear to agree on this point, even if Kirby's Sanctum Santorum looks nothing like Ditko's. The chair is mostly obscured by captions and dialogue so I don't know if this is a new chair or one of Ditko's previous designs.) and emits his ectoplasmic self. Kirby breaks with Ditko's convention of not having an astral version of the cloak and ghost Doc flies away, giant ghostly collar and all!
Doc sees Reed leave in a helicopter. As Reed isn't who summoned him, he walks through the walls of the Baxter Building. Fortunately, he's chosen to enter the building in the same room that Johnny and Ben are in. What Luck!
After some long-winded exchanges, Doc is aware he must locate Reed and Atlantis. He does this by reading the minds of fish. You go Doc! Give Aquaman a run for his money! He finds Atlantis and locates Namor and Sue. Being a ghost there's nothing more he can do except see Reed arrive and go "Oh, damn! I need to hurry or it'll be too late!" As Doc speeds to the surface, Reed and Namor have a funky battle.
Doc returns to the Baxter Building. He tells Johnny and Ben, "Wait an minute! I need my body to do what I need to do!" and returns a few minutes later, All-Purpose Amulet, flowing cloak, orange gloves and all! (Ditko is much better at drawing the cloak. In fact, Doc's whole look is simplified by Kirby. I guess he wasn't a big fan of the character.) "Well, you need to get there quickly! I know, I'll zap you there!" Johnny and Ben vanish in a puff of smoke and pop up in Atlantis a moment later to see Reed doing his imitation of The Legion of Superheroes Bouncing Boy evading Namor's soldiers. Ben and Johnny join the fray.
As Reed and Namor continue their battle/frottage, Johnny frees Sue. Namor attempts to drown them by flooding their chamber, but Johnny and Sue combine their wits and powers to stop it. Sue has to give a backhanded compliment to her brother. The battle becomes really protracted at this point and Namor seems to have the upper hand, but Sue is protecting her teammates with her newly discovered invisible force-field.
Doc has been watching all this time. As Sue declares that she loves Reed, not Namor, Doc zaps them away from the situation and then whisks Namor's palace to an unknown area of the sea. On their way back to the surface, Sue says cagey things about her feelings for Reed and Reed is not entirely confident about them. In a thought bubble she admits she loves Reed, but where's the drama in admitting that out loud?
It's kind of a mess, but we're here for the Doctor Strange. I think Kirby's portrayal is more or less faithful to Ditko's. I suppose it helps that Lee is involved in both to a degree. He seems to have an even larger rod up his rear than usual here. Visually, Kirby should do his best to avoid portraying Doc. I don't know if it was the colorist's choice or Kirby's, but coloring Doc green on the color was a bad idea. The issue is mainly a historical artifact that brings Doc into sync with his fellow costumed New Yorkers. It's an amusing curiosity where Doc is more of plot device amidst the ridiculous melodrama that was the earliest Fantastic Four.
#doctor strange#doctor strange reviews#fantastic four#namor#sub-mariner#stephen strange#marvel#comics#stan lee#jack kirby
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