#fem!sena

[atebyflowers]

Abby with a size kink 😩

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎oh my god . . my fav ; cw size kink nsfw + mdni

she's so fucking cocky about it, she'll take any chance to remind you how easy it is for her to overpower you.. grabbing your waist, holding you in place on her lap in public, its impossible to move out of her grip.

definitely buys the biggest strap she can find and calls you dramatic for squirming so much when she's tryna put it inside you "s'not even half way baby . . relax" she instructs, n by the time it is all the way in shes pushing down on the outline poking through ur stomach.

loves when you ask to ride her because it always results in you getting tired and her having to physically bounce you up and down on her cock.

just her large fingers compared to your body is enough to make you cum, she doesn't even need a strap in all honesty.

always manhandling you. she loves being gentle with you at first, but overtime she learns how much you love when she's rough and uses it to her advantage. sometimes forgets just how much smaller you are compared to her, accidentally leaving more bruises than she intends.

she's obsessed with how easy it is to move you around. she'll fuck anywhere possible and pin you exactly where she needs you, moving you like a rag doll every which way. like, the shower, her car, the kitchen, it doesn't matter — she'll find a position to fuck you in.

she'll definitely eat you out for hours on end, your legs held in place around her thick arms — she loves watching you twitch under her body. "taste so fucking good . . i know its too much baby but you can give me another one right?" she'll ask, as if she's giving you a choice.

loves cock warming and watching you try to move anyway you can, knowing she's holding you down with her strong hands making it impossible for you to do anything.

makes you ride her thigh for sure .. she'll move you back and forth on her big leg for a little bit before making you do the work yourself — leaning back and watching as you desperately grind against her.

[senawashere]

Carolina?

Summary: Who is Carolina? Is she the other woman? And why Bradley is talking about her in his sleep?

A/n: I wrote this like 2 or 3 years ago for another character and i wanted to post again🤭

Warnings: tooth rutting fluff actually. Maybe a bit angst. And a bit smutt at the end. Hehehehe.

Bradley always talked in his sleep,most of life. So you were ok with it. But one night,everything chances.

You slowly wake up to a chill in the air, realizing that Bradley has closed most of the windows once again, as usual.

The room is dark, and the digital clock on your nightstand shows 4:28; you've only been asleep for four hours.

As you turn to the side, you see Bradley curled up in the blankets, lying on his side with his back turned to you. You approach him, pulling the blanket closer for warmth, and snuggle up to your husband, wrapping your arm around his abdomen. You drift back to sleep with you melting in his embrace, emitting a low, soft purr from his curled lips.

He feels so warm and resilient against you that you bury your face into his back, inhaling his scent, placing a few kisses on his shoulder blades before laying your head on the pillow. You hear Bradley's gentle murmurs as he returns to his dreams. When you open your eyes, you lift your head slightly, leaning towards him in hopes of understanding what he's saying, but his words are jumbled.

"Brad?" you whisper, wondering if he's about to wake up.

"Baby..." he murmurs, and then you hear something inconsistent.

"I'm here," you say softly, kissing his shoulder. He usually calls you "baby," so you assume he's talking to you.

"Baby... My baby..." he repeats, and as you smile at the thought of him dreaming about you, everything shatters with a single word.

"Carolina... Carolina, baby… my…girl"

Wait a second, who is Carolina?

It wakes you up faster than an alarm. As you sit up, looking at your still-sleeping husband, talking about someone named Carolina in his dreams, you're left puzzled. You don't know anyone by that name, so she must be someone Bradley knows, and that's concerning.

"Carolina... beautiful..." the words spill from his lips, almost inaudible but piercing your ears like a punch to the chest.

Lately, he's been so confused, but you haven't thought much about it, attributing it to all the work he put into his job and getting promoted. However, now you see it in a different light.

And yes you know his mother’s name is Carol but the problem is Carol and Carolina are not the same.

Or are they? No probably not.

Could Bradley be spending time with another woman? The thought of him cheating on you didn't cross your mind. Everything seemed so perfect; you were planning the moving somewhere else next summer, and he didn't seem regretful of his decision to marry you.

But then who is Carolina? And if she invaded his dreams, how important could she be? More important than you? It made your stomatch flip.

Afterward, you struggled to sleep, tossing and turning in bed for hours.

Bradley stops talking afterward, turning his face up, and while you lie awake next to him, going through every possible theory in your mind, he simply sleeps peacefully, unaware of your racing thoughts. As the sun begins to rise on the horizon, you're already out of bed, perched on a kitchen stool with your laptop, hoping to find a clue Bradley left behind as you delve into the history.

But what if he's really doing this? If he's cheating on you, he wouldn't be foolish enough to get caught like this. Right?

You make tea and reluctantly check his socials that he follows almost everyone he knows. You hate stalking your husband with the thought of him cheating on you but now you want to know if something strange is happening. Unfortunately, or fortunately, nothing suspicious comes up. Most of the accounts are from people who works with, either with people you know,his old friends, or his family members and some of his dads old friends.

No sign of another woman.

That’s good. Right?

Bradley wakes up to an empty bed. It's strange that you're not cuddling him or holding onto him like a koala bear. He blinks his swollen eyes a few times, adjusting to the low light, and straightens the other side of the bed where your body used to rest. Since the room isn't even that cold, he knows you've been up for a while.

Yawning and rubbing his eyes, he throws on a sweatshirt and slowly exits the room, sliding his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. He notices you immediately, curled up on the edge of the couch, looking out of the window. Your forehead is creased, indicating something is bothering you.

"Hey, honey, the bed was cold without you," he murmurs, walking towards you with slow steps, sitting beside you on the couch near the window.

You look at him, your jaw clenched,on verge of tears and even though you didn't want to start like this, the truth about the morning overwhelms you.

"Who is Carolina?"

Confusion is evident on his face. It's not the kind of thing that someone doesn't know what or who is being talked about. Carolina is a real person, and Bradley knows exactly who she is.

"What's this about now?" he asks, leaning back, putting some distance between you two, his arm dropping over the back of the couch,confusion is clearly visible all over his face.

"Do you know anyone named Carolina?" you push, narrowing your eyes.

"I do... well, I mean... it's not what you think honey really..."

"You talk in your sleep, Bradley."

"What?" his eyes widen.

"You often murmur incoherently, but last night, you kept repeating the name Carolina, and... you even called her baby. You called her baby! You only call me baby. "

The revelation dawns on him as you watch, and he takes a slow breath, exhaling gently. This is going to be more complicated than you anticipated.

"I'm telling you, but promise not to think I've lost my mind, okay?"

"You're scaring me, Bradley," you breathe out. "Tell me. Please."

"Okay, okay," he says, inhaling deeply and then nodding slightly. "Do you remember... the day when we thought you might be pregnant, about like five months ago?"

"Of course, I remember," you nod,biting your lip.

Your period was late, and you had vomited in the morning. Bradley had taken a test, and you both sat on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, waiting for the results. It came back negative.

You felt relieved, but a part of you wondered how it would have been if you were pregnant. Something in your head told you it wouldn't have been a big deal, but the timing wasn't right because you two were just about to get married and it would have been nice to get married first before having a baby.

"A few days after that... I had a dream."

"A dream?" You furrow your brows, unsure where this is going.

"Yeah. It was about you and me, and... we had a baby. A little girl. It wasn't something crazy; you were breastfeeding her in our bed, and I was watching you, and then I was holding her, rocking her to sleep and she was sleeping in my arms... It felt real, and when I woke up... I felt like something was missing."

You listen to him carefully, your lower lip tense, and your heart pounding in your chest.

"Since then, I've been having similar dreams. At least twice a week. Always the same baby, always with you inside, but we do different things. Sometimes we bathe her,sometimes we play tickling,sometimes we walk in the park, and sometimes she sleeps in a stroller... Once my mom and dad were in it and one time I saw Mav and Penny too, God, it felt so real," he confesses with a shaky breath. "The last few times, we didn't even have her with us. We gave her a name."

"Carolina? Her name is Carolina?" you softly ask, pushing yourself closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Yes. She looks a lot like you, but her eyes are like mine. A perfect mix of both of us, and... I couldn't shake it off. Sometimes I wake up after a dream, and I feel like something has been taken away from us, it feels so real,I miss her even though I don't know her."

"Why didn't you tell me about these dreams, Baby?" you whisper, placing a small kiss on his shoulder.

"It felt super foolish, and I didn't know how it would make you feel. I knew we talked about trying for a baby after the wedding, and I thought bringing it up would upset you," he shrugs, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.

As you sit on the couch, silence falls between you two, your head resting on his chest, his arms around you. This wasn't the outcome you expected. None of your theories came close to the truth Bradley just revealed.

"I was thinking about the same thing...for a while." you say.

"About what?"

"About having a baby. If the test had come back positive, how would it have been?"

"And...?" He leans back to look into your eyes.

"I wouldn't have aborted it," you admit honestly, and Bradley takes a slow breath, gently kissing your forehead. "Do you want to... start trying for a baby before we talk about,Bradley?"

"It can wait," he replies, looking as if he's afraid to say something that might upset you. "If we continue what we're doing, it's okay..."

"But I want to know what you want, Bradley. Tell me."

He takes a deep breath, running his tongue over his lips before speaking.

"I think I want it." The way your heart explodes at his words is undeniable. Realizing that he feels exactly the same way now brings tears to your eyes.

"It would probably mean a blow to the squad if we start now and succeed," you laugh, watching his eyes glimmer.

"That would be the best thing that ever happened," he chuckles, confessing, "just the thought of going on adventures while our baby grows under your heart... God, I could just cry just thinking about it."

"So," you grin, slyly teasing him as you hold his chin with one hand. "Carolina?"

"It could be something else if it's a boy."

"I like it," you murmur, nodding. "We can add it to the list. But before we start making lists, we should probably start trying for a baby, don't you think?"

He doesn't need more encouragement. As you both laugh and kiss, you find yourselves in your bedroom in an instant, clothes flying off as you fall onto the bed. Giving him a passionate kiss before he undresses you, you can't help but whisper, "I love you."

Ekkkk full of cuteness🥹🥹

I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsigns-haze @sailor-aviator @sorchathered @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @lyn-js @bradshawssugarbaby @torchflies @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @bradshawsbaby @hardballoonlove @perfectprettypisces @topguncortez @hangmanapologist @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @promisingyounglady

[yandere-writer-momo]

I just found out about your blog recently and I'm in loveee with your original fics, especially Predator and Prey & The Hands That Hold You, I love Char and Arielle 🥹 Big muscular women for life

Is it alright if I ask for some Sena Riko as a service top? 🥹

Yandere SSIR Short Stories:

Wait Till I’m Done

Yandere Sena Riko x Fem Reader

TW: Yandere, lesbian sex, oral (receiving for reader), overstimulation, jealousy, etc.

(Skin color) fingers tangled in blonde locks as a whimper escaped (your name)’s throat. Riko wriggled her pink muscle in and out of (your name)’s hole as her golden eyes peered up at her.

The poor young woman was dragged to the locker room the minute her girlfriend, Sena Riko, won her match. The muscular woman lifted (your name) up and pressed the smaller girl against the locker as she shoved her panties off to the side to feast. The skirts of (your name)’s dress hiked up to her waist while her legs rested on Riko’s bulky shoulders.

It’s been nearly twenty minutes since Riko began to eat her out like a starved animal, but poor (your name) was at her wit’s end. She felt so overstimulated from how many times Riko made her cum with that talented mouth. It wasn’t fair! Riko was always so mean…

“S-stop! You’re so mean!” (Your name) cried as her girlfriend continued to feast on her. Riko’s muscular hands held (your name)’s thighs firmly apart. There was no doubt in (your name)’s mind that Riko would leave finger shaped bruises all over her plus thighs after this… Riko was always so rough.

“Mean? Says the cute little princess who’s came four times and counting.” Riko gave a loud chuckle, her golden eyes never left (your name)’s once. Riko was like a lioness staring down a gazelle. A predator that kept its prey trapped beneath her jaw in an inescapable hold. Why did (your name) have to love such a powerful woman?

“P-please? I’m tired…”

“I don’t care, princess. Don’t I deserve a nice meal after my fight?” Riko chuckled between (your name)’s soaked folds. “You looked so fucking cute cheering for me… I tried to rush my fight just so I can put my head between your perfect legs. Seeing you shake and cry excited me more than anything. You’re so cute!”

(Your name) could only whimper when Riko teasingly ran her tongue down (your name)’s swollen clit once more. The salacious noises made (your name)’s head spin and her cheeks turn even pinker. The poor girl was already on the verge of another orgasmz

“W-what if someone walks in on us?” (Your name) meekly asked which earned her a chuckle from Riko.

“I hope they do. Then they’ll know exactly who fucks you. I can’t stand the way everyone looked at you like a piece of meat.. don’t they know you’re mine?!” Riko pulled away from (your name)’s damp entrance to show off the essence that coated her lips. “Now just wait until I’m done, princess. I’m still riding the high of my victory.”

(Your name) can only wrap her legs around Riko’s head as her fingers held onto Riko’s blonde locks for dear life. It seemed her girlfriend was jealous again… they were going to be here for a long while then.

[puddingcake300]

Enstars Pokemon AU - Knights

[lieran03]

Black Hole

Ensemble Stars x you

Feeling down is normal, but what if this kind of feeling never left you alone? And it only grows to the point where you can't see the light anymore. Where you think everything is better without you

Unit: Knights

Pairing/ships: all members of Knights (a bit romantic for Izumi, general for the rest)

Words: 4.6k++

Warning: contains self-loathing, self-doubt, talking bad about oneself, thoughts of suicide, and the kinds!

ENJOY~!

She didn't really know what had happened. She even didn't realize how things going. It feels perfect as it is, but somehow at the same time, it didn't feel like one. She did her best in everything, she even just knew that everything went to the right place and moment. And yet, she still has a strange feeling inside her. The unsettling feelings tell her something is wrong. It's not as perfect as how she sees it. It's not as grand as she thinks it is. The achievement she currently feels? It is all only a fabricated truth she creates to console her own self.

She didn't want to believe it, she couldn't believe it. The numbness started to kick off. The void inside her brain. The blank mind keeps appearing once she hears the others talking. And just like that, her record has been flunked to the deepest end. The moment she can't even think about the next stage, the next costume, the moment she feels the blinding light burn her eyes. That's when she knows she has fallen. The feeling inside her grows and keeps growing, like telling her to just go away forever.

It was so sudden, it was too fast to even be called as the same one as the last. Isn't the problem her? She tries to find something, or maybe someone to blame for this darkness that starts to find a safe place inside her heart. But at the end of it, while she lies silently, she knows who to blame. It is her, after all. It was her fault in the end. The feeling was too overwhelming that at first, she thought it was only an illusion she made to run away from reality.

At last, even when she didn't know the core of the problem, she cries. She cries every night until her tears have dried off. And that's the moment where she believes, she didn't deserve to be happy.

"Practice has finished!" A loud shout startled the girl. She looks around, tries to recollect herself, and finds out where is she right now. "Don't forget we have a big live tomorrow! Especially you, Ou-sama."

"Sena is no fun! Live should be full of surprises, right?" The girl didn't notice it, but turns out the man called ou-sama-- or more well known as Leo--talk to her. "Is there something wrong?"

"Huh? What are you guys talking about?"

"Are you not getting enough sleep?" The blonde one asked, making the guy with red optics chuckle a bit.

"Then, I should do the job to cuddle you to sleep."

The girl chuckled a bit before she shook her head, the brightest smile was evidence, a smile that fool everyone inside the room. "There's nothing wrong, I'm getting enough sleep lately." Lies. How could she sleep when all she could think about was the mistake she did in the previous live? "I'm currently drafting the stage for Ryuseitai and Ra*bits next month. Tenshouin needs it this week, which means tomorrow since school will be off the day after."

"But, are you really okay, Onee-sama?" The red-headed asked with a frown on his forehead. Instead of showing weakness, the girl glared at the youngest in the group. "You have deep eye bags."

"If someone asked me that again I will be very mad, okay? This is my job, so that's fine. Everything has been going the way I want." Of course, that's just another lie. Up until that point of the day, she didn't know how much she has lied to the others. All she knows is that she has to.

The five of them look with doubtful stares, and yet the silver one decided to cut it. If she says she is okay, then it is just the way she says it. There's no point in playing detective or beating around the bush if the preparator didn't want to be caught red-handed. Still, with the biggest smile, the girl packed all of her belongings, the stage layout, the lyrics book, the costume book, and some of her school work too. The rest did the same, they didn't want to make the girl feel bad about going home first. At least, that's the only thing they could do to her for now.

Still with the same "stoic" smile, the girl bid her goodbye to the Knights' member. She bow quite deeply before she walk fast, not letting the others see her face nor her expression started to change. She can't keep it up, the more she stays with people, with humans, the more she wants to tell them all about what she was currently feeling. But, isn't that only burden them? She knows exactly that everyone has their own share of problems. And to tell at least one of them, to show weakness when she should be the pillar for them, does that even make sense?

There's no possible way she would tell Leo, the ou-sama of Knights. He has been through a lot, he has been to the deepest end and she did not want to bring him there once again. Once is enough, and she believes that the scar was still there. It's just that Leo has a knack for keeping secrets from others. Acting like everything is fine when in fact, he started to doubt his skill again. That's when she steps up as their temporary manager, their producer.

And then, there's Izumi. No one in their rightest mind would tell that guy. Not only he has a sharp tongue, but he indeed sometimes do not care about other if it did not involve him. He cares for Leo because Leo is his teammate. He cares for Anzu since she was the one who scheduled a lot of their lives and helps with their costumes sometimes. And so, does she even has meaning for that third year? Does she even have value in front of Izumi's eyes? She bet that she was nothing, especially when she did her job poorly.

People might think Ritsu and Arashi would be the best to tell about this problem. And yet, her tongue was tied whenever she wanted to tell the truth, to tell them that there was a pain inside her chest. Arashi always cares for others and she often forgets to take care of herself, how could she add the burden on her shoulder? While Ritsu, might be a genius like his brother, that doesn't mean he didn't have a lot of things going on inside his mind. His unit, his brother, his Mao, why would she add to the list? About her just feeling something is wrong?

Lastly, there's Tsukasa. He probably got no problem getting asked for help, but isn't that the problem? The fact that he doesn't mind being asked anytime, anywhere, and anyhow. It didn't scare her, it worries her. He has the burden of Knights since he was the only one in his right mind to keep Knights as a chivalrous unit. And so, that end of the reason why she did not tell anyone from the Knights even though she spend almost 24/7 with the Knights, either helping them study, practicing or even before live and after live.

While walking to her own home, where she knows no one will greet her, she could only wear her earphones, hoping that the music currently blasting loudly from there could swipe away the loneliness inside her. But the more she listens to the song, the more she realizes, she's alone. So suddenly she decided to stop, listening to the song intently. Why would the lyrics represent her feelings right now? Why does the song only grow the void inside her chest more? If there was a hole before, right now it was empty, there's nothing left inside her chest.

"Am I really going to be a good manager for Knights this week?" she mumbled while she put out the earphones. Stumbling a bit, the girl finally walked toward her room and put her bag just anywhere before she lies on the cold floor. At least she can still feel the cold, at least she feels something. "Why am I ... so pathetic?"

After mumbling the words, suddenly tears trickled down. She hates it. She hates when she's so weak, she hates it when she cries. Crying won't solve her problem, after crying she probably would have no energy anymore. And that can't happen, there's so much to do. With force, she finally rubbed her eyes, trying her best to stop the tears to continue trickling. The pain did make her think about the other thing, but still, something inside her push the button. And with that, the cries only got louder.

"Why are you even still alive? Why are you still here? No one needs you, and no one appreciates your hard work. You are working alone, why are you trying so hard to get praised? You are a failure ... all your work meant nothing. So, why?! Why are you trying so hard? Just why?!" The girl thumped on her chest, trying to feel something there instead of the pain and numbness. "No one loves you, so why are you still here ...? Knights are probably better off without me, they only need Anzu, right? Then it's alright for me to be gone ... right?"

After saying something like that, she cracked open her eyes, tears still evidence. After that, she looks around, trying to find something. It took a few minutes before her eyes fall on something on her desk. Crawling, and walking very hard, she tries to reach it. Once her hand touches the cold metal, her whole body shudder. This is it, right? She only needs to do this and everything will be fine. She can express her feeling. Or at least, she can get rid of the pain with it. Just once.

***

"Don't you think something is strange?" Arashi suddenly asked the Knights when they were changing. The live will be held in a few hours, so it's only right for them to get ready now.

"What is?" Izumi asked, his tone cold and agitated.

"Our manager," Arashi said once again, her tone stern, like scolding Izumi.

"Hm, now that you said it, I think there was something strange about her. Especially, her with that new wound every day."

Tsukasa nodded his head, agreeing with his sleepy senpai. "She rarely wants to put off her blazer too even though she's working outside and gets hit by the sun. I was worried and by accident asked her once."

Hearing what Tsukasa said made all of them silent, even Leo who was busy humming and composing some new song. All of their attention was on the youngest member, but he still didn't say anything, earning a whine from Leo who was already so curious about what will be the answer. Cautious about their surrounding, Tsukasa gathered them in one place and whispered the answer all of them needed.

"She said she's okay." There was silence for a long time, and after that, finally, Izumi snapped at the youngest.

"Do you think we are joking right now? Do you want to get slapped, huh? So annoying!" With his usual words, Izumi pinched Tsukasa's cheeks, earning a yell and whining from the youngest.

"Suo is annoying! We want the real answer!"

"But that's really what she said to me! The only difference was that she pull her clothes, like she want to hide something, and clenched her teeth when saying that."

Arashi sighs a bit, knowing very well where this will go. "Then there is really something wrong with her. Don't you think that we need to do something? After all, she's our manager."

"She didn't ask for our help, there's no use in helping someone who didn't need it," Izumi cut off Arashi's train of thought.

Ritsu stares at Izumi who has walked back to his place, now busy with his phone. "Secchan is really cold. If our manager tries something crazy, then I will blame it on Secchan. Don't you all agree?"

"That's right! I'm with you, Ritsu! It is Sena's fault!"

"Huh? Why is it on me so suddenly?"

But even when Izumi tries to complain and explain everything from his point of view, no one listens to him. With the fear of being pointed to be at fault, and with a hint of worry in him, Izumi thinks about sending a message to the girl. He sighs a bit, looking at his teammates who were getting their make-up done. Didn't know what to do, finally, Izumi decided to text her, saying that he want a drink right at this moment.

Panting, the girl that still uses her blazer even when she was sweating a lot finally knocked on the door. All of the Knights member, including Izumi, stares into the door when it creaks open, showing that their manager seems timid before entering the room. She didn't just bring drinks for Izumi, instead, she brings for all of them. First off, she went to Izumi and give him his drink before going around, earning a confused look from everyone.

"I'm so sorry that I forgot to bring you guys some drink."

"But we did not order it?" said Arashi, more like a question to herself.

"Uhm, yeah, yeah ... you guys didn't. But it's just what I should do, it's my work after all."

"Our manager is sure working so hard, I'm so glad to have our manager by our side," Ritsu cooed, hugging the sweaty manager.

"Ah, Kuma-san, please refrain from hugging me. I'm all sweaty from all the running and it will ruin your stage costumes." Ritsu only whined and hug tighter. But turns out, he slowly pulls off her blazer.

"It's hot here, you need to cool off. Here, let me help you."

"Kuma-san, don't ...!" But it was too late. Ritsu has succeeded in pulling her blazer. She was glad that she didn't decide to roll up her sleeves before so no scar will be seen. But even so, they can still see her fingers wrapped in bandages, almost all fingers. "T-this is from cooking! I know that Sena senpai strict with his diet, and Arashi-san need to look out for her body, that's why ...."

"Why are you working so hard when no one tells you to?" Izumi suddenly asked, his eyes full of menace, while his tone was like spatting hurtful truth. "We didn't ask you to cook, we didn't ask you to help us in every stage, we didn't even tell you to repair our costumes, so why did you do it?"

The girl flinched. Of course, she did all of that. Not because she was hoping for praise from them, but because she will feels like she was important that way. But can she even answer that? If she admits that, won't all of them say that she was just trying to get favored by them? That way, she was even more pathetic than she already was. No matter how hard she tries, no matter what she did, in the end, she's a failure.

Instead of answering with a real reply, she only mumbled a sorry. This was what make all of them question everything, but more importantly, everyone throw a glare at Izumi for saying such things to the girl when all of them knows that she was currently not in her right state of mind. Izumi couldn't care less, at least he can't show his own worry. Inside his mind, he has been cursing himself for acting so recklessly like that.

The words sorry didn't die only once, she repeated it a few more times before she stopped. Saying sorry too much will increase their suspicion and she did not want it. She has been okay, or at least she tries her best this past week to say she's okay. And yet, she had enough of her lies. She knows if she stays with Knights longer than that, she probably would start to cry. Especially, when Izumi's words rang inside her brain all this time. She could not hear anything and only Izumi's words.

So, after all, everything she did was futile, right? No one will like her, and no one will approve of her. She will still be a failure. As their manager, as their producer. How much she wishes that she could be like Anzu, isn't it better? Yumenosaki probably only needs one capable producer instead someone like her. A worthless one. And Izumi has approved her thoughts. She's nothing, she's nothing compared to Anzu. Even when they were the same age, she can't reach Anzu's level.

She often slacks off, not like Anzu. She often forgets things or schedule, unlike Anzu who remember them at the back of her mind. Anzu is always one step ahead of whatever the idol needs, not like her who easily forget to bring the drinks for the Knights member. She only need to take care of Knights, but Anzu need to take care of a lot other units. So why can't she do her job properly? Why can't she achieve Anzu's level?

Her face started to twist in agony. This has started again. The void. It feels like there was a black hole inside her chest, taking all of her and her rationality Everything that everyone said was true, so why would she get offended? She should have learned some self-control. She should have been braver and more selfless. No matter how hard she tries to do all of that, she only disappoints herself more. After all, she's only a failure, right? It's not her mind playing tricks. She is a failure.

Clenching her palm, drawing some blood from her palm, she decided that it was not a good time to show this side to the Knights, not before their stage. She did not want to show her monster to them. She's ugly already, why would she show the ugliest side of her now? Or maybe she could do that so Knights will let her go, isn't that a better thing to do? Shaking her head, she stops that thoughts. If she left the Knights now, she will give a lot of burdens not only on Anzu but the Knights' members. How can she do that?

All she could do only make trouble, how much pain would she bring to the other now?

Immediately she ran, fast walking away after saying that she has something to do again. After their manager was nowhere to be seen, four pairs of eyes turn to Izumi, wanting him to fix this. Izumi knows very well that it was, after all, his fault. Yet, he didn't know how to fix it. Maybe he will think about it tomorrow, or maybe after his stage. Or maybe never. Izumi can't think straight, not after he sees that she has no problem making herself hurt. It feels like she likes to be hurt.

Hours passed and the Knights' performance ended. When they went back to their waiting room, there were cookies, some other heavy food and low-carb snacks, drinks, and a note. Ritsu instantly know it was from their manager, but his eyes squinted when he found the handwriting was rushed. He shows it to the others, earning a low sigh from everyone. Izumi can't take any more of this, so he walked away, wanting to find his manager.

"She's been gone ...? No one sees her?"

"I do ask Shinkai senpai too, in case she went to the fountain. Ah, lately she likes to be there and Shinkai senpai even said sometimes she sits inside. When he asked, she said that she just want to try Shinkai's 'puka puka', and turns out it was refreshing."

"Such a crazy girl! What if she catches a cold after?!"

"I think Senpai already knows? She was down with flu yesterday, and everyone has been saying that for today's live, she can leave everything to us. But suddenly, she shows up and says sorry for being late." Anzu's information feels like a truck just hit him. Izumi really can't take this. What is actually wrong with her? Does she get obsessed with saying sorry?

"Did you hear anything else? Or do you know something more?"

Anzu seems thinking for a few minutes before she claps her hand, indicating she just remember something. "It was that one night. Knights didn't have any practice but I found her inside your guys' practice room. There, she was watching her own reflection. I can't hear what she says but ... she suddenly slaps her own face once."

"This is really frustrating! Why is she so annoying?!"

"Senpai, I know I'm not the right person to say this. But I think ... she often harms herself. You know, the feeling when you get an injury like to show you have done a lot and great things? I think she wants to validate her own work."

At this point, Izumi really didn't know what to do. Feeling suffocated, he finally say thanks to Anzu before searching for his manager around the school ground. Unexpectedly, he found her in the Knights' practicing room, alone, in the dark. If he didn't see her reflection, he probably won't notice her. Izumi didn't know if he should say he was lucky or not when he notices the manager didn't know he was there. So, he decided to walk slowly before showing up behind her.

"S-Sena senpai!"

"What do you think you are doing here?! Alone, in the dark! Do you want some crappy student to find you here and do something to you?! Do you want them to mess you up or something?!" Izumi's harsh tone succeeds in making the girl flinch. That's when he knows he messed up, that's when he knows, she's in that phase, again.

"I'm sorry, Senpai," she muffled, "I'm sorry that I became like this again. Even though you have already taught me to conceal these feelings."

"What ...?"

"You said yourself, stop comparing myself to Anzu. At first, I didn't, I didn't even know what was wrong. Am I just delusional? Or am I overworking myself? Can it be that I'm really going crazy? But Senpai ... the pain didn't go away. It starts to eat me, it starts telling me all the flaws I have. I'm not you, Senpai. I'm not ... perfect like you."

Izumi knows. He has seen this side before. It was a one-time thing and he thought it won't ever repeat. But, how many times does this kind of thing happen to her? How long has she repressed all of those feelings so the others won't see them? Izumi admits it. It was all his fault. He said to her, those feeling are not valid, that they only play, toying with her mind. But he didn't realize. Those feelings are what she feels.

"I'm sorry that once again I'm venting this to you. I'm sorry that I'm so weak that I can't even fight my own mind. I'm sorry that I'm ... me." The girl finally broke into small sobs. She can't no longer stare into Izumi's bright eyes. It pained her, to tell others about her own feelings.

Bewildered by what he found, Izumi walked slowly toward her before he engulfed her in his arms. He tries his best to share his warmth, even though his body mostly is cold, with the girl who was shaking. Who is at fault here? Him? Or is it her to have these feelings? Izumi can't answer it, he can't find the answer.

But he knows, there will always be a black hole inside someone's heart, a hole that will take all the confidence, all the happiness. Even though nothing is wrong, even when everything went just like what they expected, the hole will always be there and took away everything. Anytime they like without any break. And it was all his fault for not noticing it from the start. It was his fault for waiting for her to tell him. He didn't need her to tell him first to show, the hole has come back.

"I'm sorry that I can't be a better manager for all of you." Izumi knows it too, even when he said she's been doing great, her mind would only play tricks and say it was only for consolation. There were a lot of questions, and a lot of other answers he could give. But Izumi could only settle with one.

"I'm sorry too for not noticing this. Let's blame the hole inside our hearts. Let's blame them for existing inside. So, instead of hating yourself, let's hate the black hole there."

"Everything was so well, Senpai. Everything! The preparations went well, the music plays well, the singing was so good, the dancing was so on point, but why do I still feel something missing?"

"Can I fill in that missing piece? Will you let me be the missing piece you needed? The hole inside, can I be the one who fixes it?"

"You will get tired of me whining every day," she mumbled on Izumi's clothes, burying her head deep and inhaling his scent.

"You will be tired of listening to my scolding every day too, so aren't we break-even?" Izumi chuckled even when he knows it was not the right time. "You can fill my hole too when it came. I know that I always want to show you my perfect side, but this time, I will let you see my imperfect side too."

"I'm not good at remembering things," the girl suddenly said, looking up at Izumi's pretty face. "I can't remember how to prevent this hole to come back."

"Then let me remind you every time it came back. No, on second thought, just let them. Show the hole to me, and I will fill you. How was that sound?"

"I will bother you all the time."

Izumi chuckled again, this time with an annoyance--not a real annoyance--tone. "You will always be in my head, making me worry all the time. So, this is the only thing that I could do. After all, two pieces of a puzzle can complete the whole series, right?"

"Senpai is so strange." The girl shook her head, smiling a bit.

Both of them know it was not a genuine smile. But at least, Izumi can once again see that smile. A smile that shows, I will do it again, I will try to stand up again even if it's hurt. She too knows it too, there was still a hole inside her chest, the pain, and the suffocating pressure still there. Except for this time, she will face the hole with Izumi. She will learn once again how to fight it off. And Izumi knows it too. He will be by her side when that black hole started to grow.

"So annoying, you should have told me earlier instead of hurting yourself like this!" Izumi sighs, grabbing both of her hands that have a lot of bandages. "And I know that your mind still playing tricks on you. But I want you to listen to me. You are enough, you did well. You did not need any validation of your hard work. Because after all, you know the best for all of your hard work. At least, I know how hard you work. For now, let yourself rest in my arms."

With Izumi's last word, he once again brings the girl into his arms, he will remind her as many times as he needed to, that she was worth it, and she's worth more than any scars on her body right now are. She's worth even when she's broken.

***

A/N: first time writing on tumblr! I hope all of you like this Knights - Izumi story, even though I think it was too long. Though I really wish it's not boring. Please do tell me your thoughts on this story! I always love any feedback about my writing ^^

Also, sorry for the crappy ending, I really didn't know what to do. I still want to show that, that hole will still be there, but even so, they will be all right. So I hope this makes sense

[klug]

Keep thinking of Izumi using feminine italian speech in Alta Moda.

[hitsuyou-fukaketsu]

So uhm yeah

[yasssketchdumps]

[creads]

⭐️ eu moro no seu pensamento. fem!reader x simón hempe

🪐 minha masterlist

» cw: smut! por favor só interaja se for +18; exes to lovers; simon!ciumentinho; menção ao consumo de álcool e maconha; masturbação masc e fem; dirty talk; phone sex; linguagem chula; menção a creampie e sexo oral; simon 50% aquariano nato 50% patético e leitora 100% loba (we ❤️ to see it)

» wn: como uma boa loba mineira reconhece a outra, eu adoro a marina sena, então fiz esse smut baseado na música “sonho bom” da diva (não deixem de ouvir a música, por favor! além de ser muito boa, ouvir ela pensando nesse cenário é babilônico, o link está no final da história!). a leitora é o CÃO nessa KKKKKK espero que gostem 🎀🐺⭐️

—————————————————————————

Sentado no sofá para assistir o jogo com os amigos, Simón não poderia estar prestando menos atenção na partida de futebol que passa na TV, nem os gritos dos colegas bêbados e afoitos com o time perdendo conseguem distrair o moreno do seu pensamento mais recorrente: você.

Procurando um jeito de te ver todo dia Quero olhar na sua cara, saber da sua vida Se cê tá de boa, como tá sua família?

Faz um mês e meio que você e Simón terminaram, por mais que nenhum dos dois sabe ao certo o que causou o fim da relação. Cortaram o contato completamente, apesar do garoto fazer questão de andar pelos caminhos mais longos da faculdade só para te olhar: quer ver se você parece estar bem, com quem você conversa, o que você está vestindo.

Quero saber se você pensa em mim Eu tô pensando em você

Se nos momentos de sobriedade você já não sai da cabeça de Simón, quem dirá depois de um dia inteiro de bebedeira em um churrasco na casa do amigo. Após muitas cervejas, ele pensa que há alguns meses atrás começava e terminava o dia ao seu lado: a manhã era repleta de chamegos antes de levantarem para a faculdade; a noite o quarto era preenchido pelos seus gemidos, pelo barulho da pele com a pele e sons molhados dele metendo em você. E agora, nada.

É minha sina, não precisa falar nada Só cruza o olhar no meu de vez em quando E eu sei do que se trata É uma vontade que não passa Eu penso em você, você pensa em mim Mas ninguém fala nada

Não é como se o problema fosse a falta de sexo, muito pelo contrário, dia sim e dia não Simón leva uma menina nova para a cama, mas não adianta, nenhuma é você. Ele insiste no erro porque ainda tem esperanças de encontrar outra que consiga te substituir, mas nada: se entregam completamente pra ele, só conseguem gemer ao ouvir as coisas que ele fala, perdem a postura. Simón sente falta do seu jeitinho provocante: você rebate as coisas que ele te diz, joga tão sujo quanto ele, se faz de difícil. Ele sente falta da conquista, da tensão, de você.

E nessa guerra fria, eu doida pra ficar pelada E eu chego, pouca roupa Muita pele, você não aguenta E dá um confere, eu sei que te agrada Tudo na calada, mas eu tô ligada

Cansado de pensar tanto, Simón se levanta do sofá e vai pro banheiro, nem fala nada com os amigos, os mesmos que não cansam de zoar quando ele fecha a cara ao te ver conversando com outro cara na faculdade. Ainda mais usando aquela saia que deixava suas coxas evidentes, as mesmas coxas que ele já tanto beijou, mordeu, apalpou, lambeu… Mas, agora, o que ele pode fazer é ir se aliviar no banheiro do único jeito que sabe.

Ele se sente muito sujo, sabe que deveria ter apagado esse áudio. Na verdade, ele nem se lembrava da existência dele, descobriu sem querer um dia que estava com saudade de você e foi ler as conversas antigas, até que se deparou com uma mina de ouro: uma mensagem de voz sua daquela vez que ele viajou com os pais, com a vozinha de sono ainda, dizia: "Amor, eu acabei de ter um sonho bom com você... Tava me chupando do jeito que só 'cê sabe, tão gostoso... Depois me botou pra sentar enquanto dava tapa na minha bunda... Olha só o estado que você me deixou, filho da puta." Seguido de um barulhinho molhado, que para ele era indistinguível: eram seus dedos passeando pela sua buceta, encharcada só de ter sonhado com ele. O áudio continua com você gemendo baixinho e falando tudo que falava no ouvido do moreno quando estavam juntos. Desde que encontrou essa mensagem antiga, nunca precisou mais ver nenhum pornô, prefere bater uma ouvindo sua voz doce falar coisas tão sujas.

É um ritual que se desenrola muito rápido, dá play no áudio e imediatamente está com o pau nas mãos, fazendo movimentos de vai e vem rápidos. O banheiro pequeno começa a ficar abafado, é torturante te ouvir falando aquelas coisas e não ser a sua mão em volta dele. Tonto de tesão, fica muito decepcionado quando o áudio é interrompido, e desesperado ao perceber que acidentalmente apertou na miniatura do telefone. Te ligou sem querer, merda. Desliga na velocidade da luz, torcendo para que você não tenha nem recebido a ligação.

Aquele dia você me ligou do nada Disse que foi sem querer Mas tava lendo as conversa antiga e achando graça Só me manda: Oi, que passa Só me manda: Oi, que passa

"NÃO MANDAR MENSAGEM está te ligando". Simón lê na tela brilhosa do telefone, não deu nem tempo de se recompor - nem broxar, que situação horrível. Esse é o nome que os amigos dele colocaram no seu contato, e ele deixou isso mesmo, era orgulhoso demais para ir atrás. Mas agora não tinha como não atender, era melhor responder e fingir que está tudo bem.

Atende e quase derrete quando ouve "Tava lendo conversa antiga, Simón?". Merda. A verdade é que você também não estava sóbria, tinha fumado um sozinha e a maconha bateu diretamente pra sua buceta: ficou com saudade dele. Mas ele não precisava saber disso. De qualquer forma, não ia perder a oportunidade de falar com o ex, afinal, ele que te procurou, né?

— 'Cê é bem metidinha, né? Tava procurando resumo de matéria e te liguei sem querer, só isso. — Tenta manter a marra, novamente: era orgulhoso. Mas a voz dele saiu em um tom você conhecia muito bem, era um tom que ele usava pra disfarçar o desespero e o tesão.

— Você? Querendo resumo de matéria? Num sábado à noite? — Você diz, convencida, sabia exatamente qual conversa antiga ele estava lendo, se lembra muito bem de ter gravado esse áudio, e conhecia Simón como a palma da sua mão: sabia exatamente o que ele ia fazer com aquela mensagem de voz. Nunca se preocupou dele mostrar para ninguém, ele era ciumento demais pra cogitar fazer isso.

— Não importa, o que você tá fazendo? — Ele mesmo reconhece que a desculpa foi muito esparramada, mas finge naturalidade, tenta mudar o assunto.

Respira fundo com o jeito do menino. — Tô vendo um filme. —

— Tá gostando?

— Não, tô entediada.

Silêncio.

— Saudade de ver filme com você. — A frase saiu da boca de Simon, não sabia se era por causa das cervejas ou do pau latejando na mão dele. Antes que pudesse se arrepender, pensou: já liguei mesmo, agora foda-se, “se tá no inferno, abraça o capeta”.

— É por isso que ‘cê me ligou, Simón? Pra falar que tá com saudade de mim?

— Não falei que tô com saudade de você, burrinha. Tô falando que tô com saudade de ver filme com você.

— Burrinho é você, eu sei muito bem o que eu tô falando. A gente fazia tudo menos ver filme.

— Não tenho culpa se essa buceta sua é tão gostosa. — Ele diz, e não liga pro fato de parecer um tarado quando fala isso, não se contenta de tanta saudade que estava da sua língua afiada; da sua língua no geral, a que lambia o pescoço dele enquanto se beijavam e responsável pela melhor mamada que ele já recebeu. Involuntariamente, aperta o membro que estava na mão dele, desesperado por qualquer tipo de estímulo.

Eu vou resolver essa tua cara amarrada Só me manda: Oi, que passa Só falar que quer, que passa

— ‘Cê acha que eu não sei disso, Simón? Eu te vejo me olhando na faculdade com cara de cachorrinho abandonado. E agora me ligando com esse papinho de que minha buceta é gostosa... Tá querendo me comer e não sabe pedir. — Você diz, sabendo muito bem o que seu tom causa nele.

— Porra... — O garoto diz com um suspiro e volta a se masturbar, com movimentos de vai e vem rápidos. Ele já entende que você entendeu, e não tem a intenção de se segurar.

— E assim, eu achei que ‘cê fosse mais espertinho e conseguisse perceber que eu também sinto saudade. Mas não… Fica de orgulhinho e aí tem que bater uma pensando em mim. É isso que você tá fazendo né? Eu te conheço muito bem.

Eu vou te falar exatamente o que te falta Tá faltando minha sentada Eu acabo com a sua marra

— E é uma pena, sabe? Vai desperdiçar essa porra toda quando podia guardar ela dentro de mim.

— Continua falando. — Ele diz, ofegante, sabe que não vai durar mais muito tempo, mas não quer correr o risco de ficar sem ouvir sua voz enquanto ele se alivia.

— Pede com jeitinho — Você dizia, provocante, adora infernizar a vida desse moleque. Não é de ferro, o que acontece do outro lado te excita, e muito, então desce com a mão até a sua buceta, tão necessitada do garoto que geme para você no telefone.

— Por favor, não para de falar… Por favor, não para… — Ele te responde, praticamente suplicando.

— É? E o que você quer que eu fale? Hm? Quer que eu fale que eu tô doida pra sentar em você? Que só isso vai resolver essa marra sua? Ou que eu queria que você jogasse tudinho dentro de mim? Mas, como ‘cê é orgulhoso demais, eu tô tendo que me dedar aqui no sofá… O mesmo sofá que você me colocava pra mamar a noite toda. É isso que você quer ouvir, Simón? — Coloca tudo pra fora, faz questão de falar devagarinho, pra combinar com o ritmo que faz círculos no seu clitóris e pra torturar o garoto, só mais um pouquinho. Não tem pressa nenhuma porque sabe exatamente como a noite vai terminar.

— Você é uma cachorra, meu Deus... — Ouve Simón te xingar, quase incoerente. Logo depois escuta um gemido misturado com grunhidos, depois, uma respiração pesada, ofegante. Sabe que ele terminou, o barulho da torneira sendo aberta pra ele limpar a mão só confirma sua teoria.

— Você gozou? — Ele te pergunta enquanto sobe a cueca e a calça com pressa.

— Ainda não…

— Então para o que você tá fazendo, tô indo pra aí agora.

— Então vem rápido, gatinho. Não vou te esperar a noite inteira não.

Parece que tudo indica pra essa direção Parece que eu gosto quando aparece No meu sonho bom Você tá na mesma situação Já acorda com o meu nome martelando na sua mente É uma maldição.

[atebyflowers]

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ professor!abby who punishes you for a bad grade by making you cum until it adds up your percentage. thinking youd never get before 95, you always agreed. but now, as you're tied to her bed with a vibrator propped up against your swollen cunt — you undoubtedly are starting to wonder if it was the right proposal.

she didnt care if it had to be two times or ten times, you were gonna to orgasm under her guidance until she had a reason to not completely ruin your status in her class.. and god was she brutal with it. making you get off by yourself the first few times — watching comfortably as you desperately grinded against the edge of her bed, taking what felt like forever to finally cum the first time — whining in her ear the moment she made you start over again. "pl-please abs.. s'too much work .. c-can't do it" you begged her to touch you some how, anyway that would give you a slight break.. but she wasn't having it. "should have studied like i told you baby, the more you cry the longer it'll take" she replies sternly. part of her enjoyed watching you struggle and fill the room with cries and plea's — but another part of her wanted you to over fuck yourself so she can have you in your most sensitive state. she loved the satisfaction of fucking you senseless, even more when she knows you're already overstimulated. "god look at you.. so fuckin' swollen.." she groans as she's pounding into you with her thick strap, always using the biggest one she can find. you're unable to speak properly — only mumbling out incoherent noises with every thrust, abby occasionally mocking you. "poor baby can't even speak huh? s'okay.. only a few more to go doll.."

[senawashere]

We're on this together...(Chapter VI)

Bradley Bradshaw x Fem!Wife!Reader

Summary: Stupid kids.

Little note: Carol and Nick is still alive.

Warnings: Infertility,mentions of miscarrige,mentions of hospital,mentions of getting pregnant,mentiones of ivf.Use of alcohol,arguing,use of bad languange. Not so angsty anymore🥹

July 22, 2022:

It was almost six weeks later that Bradley became suspicious.

They both hadn’t spent much time together since the last time, and he wanted to make up for lost time with his wife. So he decided to take a day off and make breakfast while you were still in bed.

He whistles as he makes the pancakes, turning around every now and then to check the coffee on the stove the way you like it. He puts the missing dishes on the tray, completing the breakfast you’ve been making for years; maple syrup, coffee, pancakes, hash browns, and toast.

He jots down the note, “I’ll always love you :).”

He hears you coming down the stairs and mentally prides himself on his perfect timing, quickly organizing everything and turning toward the door frame that separates the kitchen from the living room.

You enter the scene as he scratches his tangled nest of hair and tries to adjust the pj's that have been tossing and turning throughout the night, his face is imprinted with pillows and Bradley feels like he’s going to faint from how beautiful his wife is.

“Good morning, my love.”

“Hm.” You just smile, you don’t like talking to anyone when you’re barely awake and he knows that so he doesn’t force you.

You open your eyes and stop in your tracks when you see your breakfast, looking at your husband with a small smile and a blush on his face.

“Oh, Bradley!”

“It’s been a long time since we had breakfast together.” He mutters and you settle between his legs (you sat down so you could eat with him) and walk over to him to take his face in your hands, placing small kisses on his sparsely stubbled face and lips.

You sit down and the two of you start eating, chatting from time to time.

He looked proud of himself as he watched you eat pancakes with maple syrup, but you tasted the coffee and spit it back into the cup.

"Hey! Why did you do that?" He asks you with a hurt expression on his face.

"I'm sorry honey, but it tastes awful." 

You reply with a grimace as you pour yourself a glass of apple juice to drink it all down.

Bradley takes your coffee from you and takes a sip; it tastes perfectly normal, very good if he has to admit, but he decides to leave you alone and let you continue with a glass of apple juice.

You were happily continuing to eat, of course, until you popped a small piece of egg yolk into your mouth.

Bradley doesn’t have time to complain when you’re throwing up in the sink anyway.

He quickly drops his coffee and walks over to you, grabbing your hair and patting your back until you pull yourself together, wiping your face with the sleeve of his shirt as he looks at you.

“I don’t feel so good.” You mumbled with a pout that made Bradley’s heart ache.

“It’s okay, honey.” He pulls you into his chest. “Why don’t you lie down? I’ll put everything aside and join you as soon as I can.”

You nod and look into his eyes. “I’m sorry I messed this up.”

He smiles sadly as he brushes his sweaty hair from his forehead. “You didn’t mess anything up, to be honest, I was really looking forward to staying in bed with you.”

You leave and ten minutes pass while Bradley gets breakfast, maybe saving it for later. He’s washing the cups when he notices something while one of them drying in the sink.

He picks up his phone with his half-dried hands and opens the conversation he had with his mother a week ago.

"Everything is fine honey. Your cousin is pregnant and can't handle eggs and coffee so we're taking care of her now. Kisses, honey, I love you and Y/N!! 💕💞😘"

Eggs and coffee.

Eggs.

Coffee.

He grips the marble countertop as he tries to catch his breath.

Could it be..?

God, he's going to faint at the thought.

He couldn’t believe he had such a good memory to remember such a mundane message between his mother and him.

You run your hand over your face as you trie to come back to reality if she’s pregnant…or not..

Damn it, you can’t think straight, and if it wasn’t for Duke jumping on the counter and barking in your face, then you’d still be going crazy.

You turn off the faucet and run upstairs, ignoring Bradley's fuzzy nerves as he enters your shared bedroom, you stare at him in fear.

“Take a pregnancy test.” That’s all he says, and you get out of bed in confusion.

“What?” You ask, approaching him. “Are you okay? You look pale.” You cup his face.

“Yeah, yeah.” He responds excitedly, letting you examine his face.

“Just, please, you have to.”

“Okay, I’ll do it and you’ll calm down.” He looks into your eyes and nods. “Come on.”

Bradley can barely control himself as you pee on four sticks to make sure, wandering the bathroom and bedroom until you come out.

“We need to wait five minutes, do you want to explain what’s going on?”

You both sit on the bed and hold his hands to comfort him, which does the trick.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy, but do you remember when my mom told me Marienne was pregnant and couldn’t stand eggs nor coffee?”

“Yeah.” You answer, and your eyes widen in understanding. “Oh my god. What do you think..”

“I don’t know.” Bradley shakes his head, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “I don’t know.”

The minutes pass and the both of you gets crazier and crazier; You feel like you're going to tear your hair out in desperation, and Bradley wants to throw up again for the tenth time as he playes with his rings.

There has to be something else, he doesn’t even know how to take care of babies, was it his paternal instinct? no, this is stupid, maybe he’s not going to be a father and he’s just going crazy.

He’s an idiot, now your hopes are up and he doesn't want to have to see the look of disappointment on your perfect face again.

So lost in his thoughts that he doesn't notice you get up from behind him to re-enter the bathroom, slowly reappearing with four tests in your hands, unable to take your eyes off them as you mumble;

“Positive.”

Bradley raised his head as soon as he heard you, his eyes met your now teary ones and he stood up, approaching you, ypu are showing him all the positive lines that showed your baby growing inside you. His fucking wife is pregnant.

You put them down and throw yourself into your husband's arms, clinging to each other, making you both fall backwards onto the bed.

You cry into Bradley's chest while he cries into yours.

You feel like you're going to faint from the tears and sobs pouring out of both of your bodies, a tremendous happiness fills your entire body as millions of things go through your head. Same for him too.

Bradley talks to pregnant women's bellies, Bradley holds a small chubby baby, Bradley plays the piano with a small child, Bradley rocks a baby, Bradley and your babies will be like this.

Sooner or later, it would all come true.

Meanwhile, Bradley is still crying as if he's never cried in his life, you're sitting with him in your arms and he moves his hands between them to rest on your belly. "There's a baby inside," he says, his voice breaking.

You laugh and lean your forehead against his. "There's a baby inside."

Both of you look at each other, your eyes fill with tears and you both start laughing, you kiss, ignoring the salty taste of teardrops. You kiss, trying to convey everything that cannot be expressed in words to each other, but now there is someone who proves that their love is possible.

"A perfect blend of us,there it is." Bradley's and yours belly felt like there were fireworks inside. He can't wait to sing and play the piano to his love's growing belly, to hold that tiny hand.

He just can't wait.

"I love you." He sees the tears continue to flow down your cheeks as you part your lips. "I love you Bradley, we did it."

"We did it." He repeats, squeezing your waist between his hands. "We did it, we're having a baby, I told you."

"I can't believe you found out because I threw up your breakfast."

"Because you would never throw up something I make, I'm an incredible chef."

Both laugh again and Bradley flips both of you over, laying you between him and the bed, laughing at the kisses he spreads across your face, neck, and lifting the robe slightly to reveal the soft skin of your belly. 

It was keeping his baby warm in there.

Duke seems to notice the happiness that is coming from the room, he climbs into bed and cuddles up to his mother’s chest, who is happily caressing Bradley's hair and cheeck's.

Bradley kisses the area on your belly as you stroke Duke's scalp, and his tears continue to flow when he sees you talking to Duke about the baby.

He whispers something, but you and maybe someone else can hear him clearly.

“Welcome home, baby. You are already loved.”

“Yeah, I always wanted to have your stupid children.”

THEY MADE IT🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsign-fox @greenorangevioletgrass @roosterforme @teacupsandtopgun @floydsglasses @lyn-js @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @hardballoonlove @topguncortez @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @promisingyounglady @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @eternalsams @callsigns-haze @promisingyounglady @els-marvelvsp @cevansbaby-dove @atarmychick007 if you are not comfortable please tell me!!

[joshseoh]

All my CCs released on April! ✨

Download them now from my Patreon!

Leifang | Ridley | Adina | Laura | Lexie | Sena | Nash | Aki | Gracia

[myunghology]

— ✦ chose you for a reason!

featuring izumi sena x fem! reader (IMSORRY)

warnings reader feeling insecure :(. izumi literally sees reader shirtless but they're in a dressing room together anyway so like LMAO. tw ooc izumi i think.. deep kisses help

genre + context fluff, comfort. izumi reassures reader while they're out shopping and trying on clothes together <3

a/n harriet dis is 4 u. ily even tho ur such a big slut for izumi sena. @yoshinyaki1330

Today was Izumi's day off from his idol work, and because you've been so clingy and annoying begging for his attention, his words, not mine— he decided to take you out for a shopping spree.

Totally not because he feels bad for always been so busy to the point that he never spends time with you. Plus he misses going out with you.. Though he'll never really admit that in front of your face.

Partially also because you needed new clothes. You didn't think so, but your boyfriend definitely did. You already have so much clothes.. But naturally, he just loves spoiling you.

And so, you were here in the dressing room, currently— Izumi was finding clothes that he knows will suit you. You quietly stare at yourself at the mirror, not feeling satisfied, for some reason.

"Are you still there? Let me in." Your boyfriend's voice interrupts, before you unlock the door to let him come inside, whilst he locks the door again once he gets in.

Izumi furrows his eyebrows, "Why aren't you trying anything on yet?" He asks sternly, leaning against the door, but then his eyes immediately soften once he sees how blankly your staring at yourself.

He quietly approaches you from behind, one of his hands resting on your waist, his head resting on your shoulder, as he asks. "You alright? You know you can tell me anything, gorgeous."

You pout playfully, turning your head to look at him. "I don't feel confident enough to wear these clothes." You say in a whisper, noticing that he's given you clothes that were supposed to wrap around your body like it was nothing.

Your boyfriend frowns, "Nothing you can't pull off, yeah?" He whispers as he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear, planting a soft kiss on your temple.

"Still.." You try to reason, until he cuts you off with a kiss— his head craning down for his lips to meet yours as his hands travel to your waist, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he deepens the kiss.

You pull away from running out of breath, your sighs deep and so are his, a thin string of saliva in between the two of you. "I love you. You're so perfect to me, you have no idea," He breathes out with a smirk plastered onto his face.

"You always get what you want, don't you?" You giggle, ruffling his hair as he plants another kiss, but on your cheek this time. "I could say the same for you. You're spoiled and you know it."

"That's your fault! I didn't even ask for half the stuff I have now.."

myunghology: LET ME COOK NOW

[poetryandfluffycats]

Just one time~

A/N: I'm working on requests I swear I just found this in my drafts and felt the need to post🤍

Pairing: Izumi Sena x fem!reader

Warnings: very suggestive, dub-con, izumi is a bitch, mentions of makoto, yandere themes, biting, established friendship

Content: Izumi is your friend, a close friend, he'd never do anything to hurt you. You hardly even notice when he starts getting a bit too close for comfort.

Words: 1.5k

Oneshot under cut!

It started out slow. So slow you didn't realize what was happening.

You'd see Izumi in the halls. He'd greet you and you'd greet him. He'd ask how you were, you'd ask how he was.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then the texts came.

"How was your day?" "Are you busy" "Do you wanna hang out?"

Still normal, still friendly. You were always happy to talk to one of Yumenosakis top models, so you'd answer him.

"it was good" "nope, not busy" "yeah, sure:)"

You'd hang out together. He'd take you out to lunch, or shopping, or he'd invite you back to his dorm to watch a movie. It was always a good time, you'd always have fun.

Sometimes his hands would linger on you, or his hugs would last longer than needed, but you just wrote it off as him being affectionate. Maybe he was this touchy-feely with all his friends? You preferred over him being rude and unpleasant towards you, like he was to most people, so you never said anything.

Besides, what was the worst that could happen?

Soon, his texts started to become more frequent.

"i'm bored, wanna come over?" "did you see the photos from my shoot?" "are you awake? i cant sleep"

Still, you didn't mind.

He was charming, kind and fun to be around. He had such a way with words that could make any girl swoon. It was hard not to blush at how much attention he was giving you. And also hard not to notice how mind-blowingly atractive he was.

He was everything a guy should be and more.

And he seemed to like you alot.

So, you kept texting him. You'd always say yes to his invitations. You were happy to oblige, happy to ignore the lingering touchs and longing looks, and you quickly found Izumi becoming one of your best friends.

It wasn't until the texts started to become more forward that you started to notice something wrong.

"mao and kuro are out, come see me;)" "wish u were here" "are u alone right now?"

They were... odd, to say the least. But once again, you tried to write it off as Izumi just being Izumi. He was always flirtatious, but there was no way these texts meant anything right? After all, he was in love with Makoto Yuuki, right?

Right?

...

"can u come over? so lonely:("

You were about to reply when another text popped up.

"need u here"

Your heart fluttered at the message, you couldn't tell whether it was from excitement or uneasiness. He needed you. You were wanted, that was a good thing, right? You had gone over to his dorm at night many times before, even slept over before, surely this time wouldn't be any different.

Not giving yourself any more time to dwell on your doubts, you typed out a response.

"on my way"

...

The walk to Izumis dorm was a long one, since he lived on the top floor, but thankfully it gave you enough time to compose yourself and beat down that growing feeling of anxiety in your stomach. There was nothing weird about wanting to spend time with a friend, that's all he wanted to do. Hang out, watch a movie, talk late into the night then go to bed. Just an ordinary sleepover. He would never try and...

No, it was wrong to think that. You shook the thought out of your head, quickening your pace. He wouldn't do that, not to you.

Not to a friend.

The anxiety didn't stop however, even as you stood in front of Izumis door. Your hand trembled as you raised it to knock on the door, and you let out a surprised yelp when it opened almost immediately. Almost as if he had been waiting right by it.

Izumi stood leaning against the door frame, his usual smirk playing on his lips. "I was starting to think you wouldn't come," His eyes scanned up and down your body and his smile grew wider, "you look nice"

"Oh, uh, thank you..." You mumbled, feeling your cheeks flush red. It wasn't like you had gotten dressed up to see him or anything, just wearing a plain crop top and sweatpants set, but if he thought you looked nice then it must have been true. Izumi did have pretty high standards of woman after all.

"Are you going to come in? Mao and Kuru are out, so we have the whole dorm to ourselves... its quite romantic, don't you think?" He winked at you, the redness in your cheeks intensifying under his gaze.

You took a step into the dorm, forcing a smile and giving the silver haired male a playful nudge on the shoulder. "If you wanted romantic you should've invited Yukki-kun over, not me" You teased, trying to lighten the atmosphere as much as humanly possible.

"Well, I didn't" The playful tone in Izumis voice was suddenly replaced by a more serious one, his smirk falling and curling down into a frown. He stepped in front of you, effectively trapping you between himself and the wall and blocking you from going further into the dorm.

You swallowed. His perfume was strong and intoxicating, clouding your senses. He smelt so good...

"I invited you, so lets not talk about Yukki-kun, alright?" He rested his forehead against yours, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His voice dropped down to a whisper, hot breath fanning over your lips, "How about we just focus on each other, huh?"

You knew where this was headed, and you hated it.

"S-Sena, please" You whimpered, pressing your hands flat against his chest in a feeble attempt to push him off. However, he refused to move, his hands snaking down your body to firmly grasp your hips and pull you flush against him.

Izumi hummed, ignoring the discomfort in your voice and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply, "So annoying... god you smell good, its driving me crazy..."

Panic began to rise in your stomach again, the earlier feeling of unease from your walk here returning on full blast. He wasn't stopping. Why wasn't he stopping? You pushed at this chest again, harder this time, but he didn't even budge an inch. He simply chuckled, tightening his grip on your hips to the point where it was almost painful.

You needed to get out of there somehow. You couldn't let him take advantage of you. Not like this.

"Please Sena! You're scaring me-AuGH!-"

Your plead was cut short as a pair of teeth sunk deep into your neck, mere centimetres away from your pulse point. In fact, if he moved any closer he'd be ripping your throat out. The message was clear.

Shut up and stay still, or else.

"If you really care about me, you'll let me do this" He whispered, retracting his teeth from your neck and soothing the bruising mark with his tongue, "Don't you care about me? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I-I care about you, you're my best friend! Its just-"

"Just what? Are you really that selfish? I need this! Just let me have you goddammit! I need you!"

You gasped at the outburst, the panic that had been bubbling in your chest finally exploding as tears began to run down your cheeks. Izumi had never raised his voice at you before, he never shouted at you. And it terrified you.

Noticing the tears on your cheeks, his grip on you softened, his previous look of hunger and lust turning into one of guilt and shame. He took a step away, running his hands through his hair and sighing heavily.

"Shit, (name), I'm so sorry, please don't cry" He reached out to grab your hands, bringing them to his chest, "I shouldn't have yelled, I know you're scared but... please... I need this, I need you to trust me"

You stared down at your hands on his chest, a small part of you finding the gesture oddly comforting. Maybe this was how things were meant to be? Even after his outburst, he was so calm in his tone. So sure of himself, so sure of what he was saying even if it did sound obscene. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to help him out.

What type of best friend doesn't help her best friend out when he needed it?

You meet his gaze. He was so desperate, so vulnerable, so lustful. It was a look you'd only ever seen him direct at Makoto, the man he supposedly loved with all his heart, yet here he was using it towards you.

It confused you.

Why was he looking at you like that when he was meant to be in love with Makoto?

But that didn't matter in this moment, not to Izumi at least. All that mattered was him getting what he wanted, and what he wanted was you.

"Just one time right? That's all you need?" You mumbled, your voice barely audible.

He nodded eagerly, that oh so familiar smirk returning to his lips, "Of course, one time. I'll never ask again, I promise"

You bit your lip, thinking over the situation just one more time. It was just one time, one time then he'd go back to Makoto and then things would go back to normal, right? One time...

"O-okay, you can have me"

[badasgirlfriend]

i miss you, im sorry (smau)

synopsis: sena and mark were the couple everyone envied, their bond seen as the perfect puzzle pieces that fit each other, everyone believed they would last forever. however, their messy breakup left both with a sour taste in their mouths. now, a year later, they meet again in an unexpected situation - both having signed up for a theatrical play. although they've clearly 'moved on', sena wants to put the past behind her but mark is determined to win her back. is this a chance for a happy ending or for more heartbreak?

pairings: mark lee x choi sena (fem!oc)

genre: exes to lovers, college au, non idol au, whipped mark, angsttttt😟, crack, fluff

warnings: a lot of kys jokes, depression

status: ongoing

taglist open: @b1ackbunny , @italiekim , @1luvkarina

PROFILES I | PROFILES II

01. stalking mark

02. im fine

[akaademy]

izumi sena x fem!reader. happy bday. 💙

synopsis: despite it being years since his graduation, izumi couldn’t stop thinking about you. even as he was getting ready for his marriage.

18+, angst, canon divergence, no use of y/n, arranged marriage, cheating (technically), reader is 25, izumi 27.

9,572 words.

Izumi has long abandoned the idea of love.

It’s not like he doesn’t believe in it, he simply understands it’s not something he will ever get to experience.

As instilled from his parents, he knew relationships were never about love, but about who can provide a stable and reliable partnership. What could be more important than that?

Those childish crushes he got during his teenage years never bloomed into anything more, because as soon as his parents picked up a girl for him to date, he had already forgotten about them. There was someone, though, he couldn’t exactly get out of his mind even years after his graduation. You.

Izumi got to know you in his third year at Yumenosaki. When he first saw you, you were meekly clinging to Anzu like a leech. And it was always like that for every time he encountered the girl— you always hid behind her shadow, never daring to look into his eyes, or anyone’s— to be honest.

The first time he decided to bring you up, he did it right in front of you with such directness that made you feel like you were doing something wrong by being so closed off. He pointed a finger at you, raising his eyebrow as his voice laced with accusation.

”And who is that?”

The brunette producer just brushed him off with a nervous laugh, telling him to not worry about it. So for a while, Izumi ignored you, thinking you were just her friend and no one important. But it was hard to not stare at you as you hid behind her back like a shy child with their mother.

So of her own accord Anzu decided to tell him about you, simply because ‘he seemed curious’, which made him retort that no— he really wasn’t. But she still rambled, and that’s when she revealed to him you were from the produce course like her.

Izumi was a bit skeptical. You looked so shy, anxious and clumsy. He wondered how someone like you could even manage an idol group properly, assisting them, looking after their activities and taking care of their needs. He thought someone like you would just be a normal student in the regular course. You clearly weren’t made for working with people.

But his idea of you changed when one day he found you alone in the school’s quiet library, the only noise being your pencil scratching faintly on crisp paper— your head resting on your hand as you wrote.

He hesitated before approaching you— his steps echoing in the library. He got your attention by remarking sarcastically how this wasn’t the producer course’s library, and that you weren’t supposed to be there. Your eyes widened as you quickly took your gatherings while a little apology left your lips, but he cut you off you with a wave of his hand and an annoyed sigh, telling you that you won’t get in trouble but that you should just be a little more careful.

That encounter helped him to get to know you a little better, though. You told him you dreamt of being a writer, and that you and Anzu were inseparable best friends that used to go to the same school— she was your only friend back then. That was why you followed her to Yumenosaki with no idea of how to manage idols, going against your parents’ wishes of attending a more prestigious academy that would prepare you properly for med school.

You were inexperienced but attentive despite being an airhead. You clearly tried to prove yourself by working hard and not causing any problems to anyone, being docile and never talking unless someone else initiated the conversation. He also caught you tutoring a few of your underclasses, meaning you were intelligent and very reliable.

Izumi, despite his initial judgment, found himself silently captivated by your inner strength— he��d never admit that to you though. But forcing yourself out of your comfort zone just so you could stay by the side of the person you loved the most was pretty heartwarming. Still, in his typical straightforward style, he warned you to do a good job, because Yumenosaki didn’t allow layabouts.

Since then, you two got closer, and you were overjoyed when he finally considered you his friend, after your numerous pouty faces and incessant begging. Sure, he could be a little strict, but it didn’t take much for you to get used to his personality and to the way his expression would always betray his words. He thought someone as sensitive as you wouldn’t work well with someone as stoic and blunt as him— yet you did.

You’d attend his concerts, surprise him at fan meetings, or even cheer on him when you were allowed backstage, and when you were comfortable enough, you’d show him your writing. He would praise you with some half-assed compliments, but you always saw how his eyes sparkled in admiration when they glanced over your stories in contradiction to his words. When you worked late he’d accompany you to your bus stop, ignoring your protests, holding the small of your back to make you feel more at ease in the crowded streets.

Izumi didn’t know if he loved you yet at that time, all he knew was that you were his safe place— if he really had to put his feelings towards you into words. He felt pulled by you, because you were quiet, talented, understanding, kind and always putting up with his tsundere, unbearable attitude. Your presence was a breath of fresh air after all the crap he had to put up with everyday.

But sometimes he wished he wasn’t so harsh with you, because you never deserved it.

No matter how much he loved it, he felt scared by your affectionate and nurturing personality. He didn’t want to get too attached to you, because he knew he was going to lose you soon, so he couldn’t help but push you away.

And with that, he also never knew how to thank you properly— how to show you how much he appreciated you for tolerating him. He didn’t know where to find his courage. It didn’t matter how often his actions spoke louder than words, he just wanted… to get over his stubbornness and tell you with his own words, be finally honest for once, so that he could see your face light up with a beaming smile, something he rarely got to see because you were ashamed of it.

Not even on the day of his graduation could he be honest with you, because he knew that if he did he would be spilling all of his feelings for you. And he couldn’t risk it. Not even as you hugged him with tears pricking your eyes, devastated from his parting, could he tell you everything.

You were unattainable, just a childish crush, he thought. His destiny was set since he was born, there was already someone arranged for him and he couldn’t allow himself to fall in love with you, so in a way, he was grateful for his graduation. As long as he didn’t see you… he’d be fine. Or so he thought.

He graduated, leaving Yumenosaki to pursue what his parents wanted him to do most. You two barely kept contact as you were still in school, and one year later after your graduation, you left the big city to attend college without saying anything. Izumi couldn’t blame you for your lack of notice— he’d always dismiss you and act pretty much like an asshole unprovokedly just to selfishly protect his heart.

He’d always push you away or scold you every time you called him, saying how he doesn’t have time for you because he was just so busy. He always picked up how disappointed and sad you sounded when he estranged you, and his heart would always swell in agony.

He was certain you’d see through this tougher exterior too, like you always did. Even if he was pushing you away, there was a part of him that wished for you to not give up on him. So when he got the news you left, he was rendered staggered. He felt regret washing over him so strongly that he freezed in his place. Since then, he never heard from you ever again.

Anzu told him you were going to study to become a nurse, and Izumi grimaced— he immediately knew you didn’t leave of your own accord. It was your parents, forcing you on a path you weren’t supposed to walk on. Your dream was to become a writer, you told him that.

He couldn’t help but ponder about how your situation was so similar to his.

Even years later, at the age of twenty seven, as he was getting ready for his loveless marriage, he couldn’t get you out of his head. Everything went so fast, the arrangement, the change of scenery, the co-living with who was basically a stranger to him despite being engaged for five years— his fianceé. All of it made him feel out of touch with reality, as if he was just on autopilot, letting his body do everything so that he wouldn’t end up emotionally numb from it.

He was back to Tokyo that day, back to his parents’, celebrating his upcoming wedding by taking his other fellow Knights suit shopping— how fun, he thought sarcastically.

That’s when he spotted you as he spaced out, a behavior his companions pointed out worriedly. But his eyes and mind were fixed on you, setting something up in the backyard of your house, and his heart sank. He stopped in his tracks to look at you: your hair was a bit longer, but your face remained the same as the last time he saw you. Nine years. And he could still recognise every detail on your visage— the natural pout of your lips, your unique nose shape… you were still you, and he found it strangely comforting yet cruel, like a warm hug he didn’t deserve.

Cruel, seeing you in front of him like this, while he was getting ready for a marriage he didn’t agree on. Cruel, because you seemed to have moved on so perfectly compared to him. Did you resent him for how he acted in the past? Was he never important to you? Why aren’t you miserable like him?

And so, Izumi couldn’t find the courage to walk up to you. How could he even explain it to his members, anyway? He brought them here to get ready for his wedding, not to let them assist to some sappy high school reunion and eventually get teased about it.

That evening though, as he rested in his childhood bed, he couldn’t get you out of his head. Your now mature form was engraved into his mind, and he kept wondering what was your life like— if you still wrote, if you came back to Tokyo because you dropped out of college to finally follow your dreams, if you had a lover… If he already couldn’t stop thinking about you in these past years, imagine now that you were literally under his eyes, just a few blocks away.

And so, after exhaling a deep sigh and running his hand on his face exasperatedly, he grasped his keys and left quietly, climbing onto his motorbike to drive to what he assumed was your place, a variety of anxious thoughts but also anticipation swirling inside of him.

When he parked out of your house, a deep, shaky sigh left his lips before he walked up to your front door, pushing his finger on the doorbell. When you opened it, his heart swelled up. You were beautiful up close like this, your eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.

“…Sena-senpai?” a breathy whisper— you were utterly incredulous. He almost wanted to laugh at your astonishment.

“…Hi.” he pursed his lips, murmuring your name softly, as if to remember how it sounded. “It’s been a while, huh?”

You nodded slowly, maintaining eye contact. Seeing your old high school friend who treated you like a stranger out of nowhere now standing on your porch must have felt like a joke to you.

He could see from your reaction that you didn’t expect him to remember you—and you, despite seeing his face on the big screen pretty often, couldn’t believe how beautiful he was in real life, more beautiful than you could remember. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, and he noticed it since you weren’t really subtle. He smirked, but didn’t want to ruin the moment by teasing you about it.

“I…” he started. “I just happened to be in the city today, and I saw you in your backyard earlier, over the fence. I didn’t have any time to say hello, so here I am.” he said nonchalantly, trying to cover up the real reason why he’s ringing at your doorbell at ten in the evening.

You nodded again, feeling so overwhelmed by his sudden appearance that you didn’t know how to act. “I… I see. Would you like to come in, senpai?”

Izumi’s eyes lit up, and he agreed. “…Sure, why not.” You invited him inside, meaning you didn’t hate him, and he smiled to himself as he felt relieved.

As you let him in, he immediately looked around the house, not expecting you to live in such a big place, supposedly, alone.

“Heh, your home is pretty well kept, it suits you.” he commented, trying to ease the tension. You shook your head. “This is my parents’. They are on vacation for a week, so I’m house sitting.”

He hums in acknowledgment, murmuring a little ‘That’s nice of you.’ He sat on the couch next to you and as he did, he noticed a leathered journal and pens sprawled on the coffee table in front of him— his eyes widened.

“…You still write?” He felt so happy and proud at that moment. You nodded with a shy little smile. “Yeah.”

Izumi mirrored your smile, crossing his arms. “Good. That’s great.” A bit of time passed before you spoke again.

“Um… senpai.” you fiddled with your pen, your heart thumping. “I know It’s a bit out of nowhere but… I heard you’re getting married.”

His heart dropped. Shit. Perfect. Of course, how could you not know when he’s constantly surrounded by paparazzi and weird fans stalking his every move and posting about the littlest things of his life online? The marriage was supposed to become public anyway eventually, but what baffled him the most was how you decided to break the ice by immediately bringing that up, as if you were just itching ever since the rumors started to know all the details.

He swallowed nervously, refusing to look at you, opting to stare at the coffee table instead to count the creases of your notebook’s cover. Why was he nervous in the first place? Because he lied to you? Because you didn’t know it was an arranged marriage? Or because of the slight disappointment in your voice when you asked that? You didn’t seem happy, at all.

“Yes. I’m getting married in two weeks.” He cleared his throat. “That’s why I’m back in Tokyo. I have to take the other Knights suit shopping. For the wedding.”

You nodded. “And your girlfriend, fiancée… She didn’t come with you?”

Izumi shook his head. “Nah, that woman loves her alone time.” He spoke, finally looking at you. “She was kind of looking forward to me being gone for a whole weekend, actually.” He laughed, an unconcealable sadness present in it.

“Is she pretty?” you scooted a little closer to him, a firm tone now in your voice. Izumi tensed up, not expecting you to take it so seriously or ask such a random question.

“Yeah, I guess she is? There are other reasons to choose a partner besides how attractive you find them, you know?” He chuckled bemusedly— if only you knew.

Then, he continued monotonously. “She’s… a very independent person. She hardly needs me around at all, actually. Mostly just when we have some kind of event to go to. She’s great with people, my parents really like her.”

You lean back a little, looking at him as if you were offended. “Do you… love her?” you uttered under your breath, but Izumi caught it.

He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t falter, keeping up the act. Why did you sound as if you already knew something was wrong? “Of course I love her, she’s my fiancée!” He sighed.

You pouted, but quickly got back to your scrutinising expression. “You don’t sound like you love her.”

“Haah? Didn’t I literally just tell you a bunch of great stuff about her?” he sighed, exasperated. He almost regretted visiting you right now, it was becoming physically painful to talk about all of this, and your weird behavior and questions just made everything more difficult. He couldn’t help but think that you hid something as you inquired him about his fianceé. “What’s up with you?” he raised an eyebrow.

“…Senpai, you seem so different.” you murmured, looking down at your lap. Izumi paused to take a look at you— your tone of voice, your droopy eyes, your weird fiddling… he confirmed something was actually wrong with you, but he was getting more frustrated with the fact that you dared to say he changed based only on your impression of him to care about your weird behaviour now.

“Different? I am not different. I mean, nine years passed, I suppose I am not the same person I was in high school, yeah? Geez…” his voice got more annoyed, and he rested his head on the back of the couch, running a hand through his hair.

But now, he was also getting frustrated with himself, and at how he was currently speaking to you so condescendingly after already treating you like shit the last time he talked to you. He couldn’t really hide his resentment towards his stupid situation, so he ended up taking it out on you. So many emotions swirled inside of him and he couldn’t keep them at bay anymore, and while he looked at you— the person who always listened to him without any prejudice — his heart just kept begging to break free from the ice he built around it.

He wished he could just… cry, because he knew you’d be there to comfort him immediately. Scream he is so sorry for taking you for granted and that he wants to make it up to you and never leave you alone to hurt ever again.

He didn’t ask for this, to live as some kind of pawn for his parents. He just wanted to do what he loved, and be loved. Be free. That’s all.

He finally raised his head, checking up on you. Your head was still hanging down like a scolded child, your hair hiding your expression. Your hands balled up into shaky fists on your lap— he went too far. He pursed his lips, trying to come up quickly with something to distract you.

“But you… you didn’t change at all.” He said more softly, inching closer to your vulnerable form. Your head was also raised now as you felt him move, your breath hitching when you saw him so close to you.

“Quiet, shy, overly emotional, stubborn… but also intelligent, compassionate, helpful, hardworking and strong. That’s the princess I know.” he chuckled, reaching up to caress your cheek softly, your hair getting brushed behind your ear. He pulled away immediately, not giving you any chance to react, his voice getting more serious.

“…The wedding, my new house, my fianceé… you are right. None of that is really me.” he confessed, and your eyes widened at the sudden revelation. “I hate everything about that… well, I don’t particularly hate my fianceé but…” he laughed bitterly, trailing off.

Then, he took a deep breath, resuming his rant. “There’s no affection. No warmth. I can’t talk to her, or laugh with her, or anything like that. But that’s not what marriages are about, right? They’re more like… business partnerships.”

You bit your lip at this revelation, empathizing immediately with him.“That’s not true, senpai. Marriages are about being with the person who loves you for you for the rest of your life… it’s about, um… being with someone who will always support you, protect you, love you no matter what… and much more.”

He exhaled softly, wanting to laugh at your naivety. “That stuff is not real, you know? That’s just what they put in movies.”

You frowned. “Movies, okay. But you must have thought about it at least once… right? Even if it’s just fictional to you… you must have thought what it would be like if it were real.”

Izumi paused for a bit. Yeah, I must have imagined it sometimes, he thought to himself. He thought lots of times what it would feel like to be with someone who truly loves him, instead of having girls picked out for him that never tried to look behind his looks. And it felt unreal to him how you, his friend, treated him the way his girlfriends should have done.

“I mean… sure, I’ve thought about what something like that might be like, but the only person I’ve ever felt that comfortable around is…”

He trailed off again, and you urged him to continue with an eager nod. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head dismissively.

“…Nevermind. I should go, anyway. I have to take Leo-kun suit shopping tomorrow too because he couldn’t make up his goddamn mind in choosing one. Then my mom wants me to go with her to see her dress, and—“ suddenly, you took his hand in yours, making him pause.

Your gaze looked so serious and out of character on your innocent features— you glowed with a maturity that left him breathless. Your adolescent image he was supposedly in love with was still engraved in his mind, and even if the adult you was right in front of him and looked much more beautiful, he couldn’t replace it easily, which symbolised his long lasting longing.

“Senpai…” you squeezed his hand, your expression immediately changing to the warm, caring one he grew to love. Your eyes spoke so much to him, and he couldn’t help but get lost in them.

He pursed his lips which now felt so dry. “…You were the one I wanted to spend… like, literally all of my time with, you know that?” he murmured after a long while, squeezing your hand back. He felt so vulnerable right now, it wasn’t the first time he had been like this in front of you and yet, now, it felt so different. He couldn’t hold his words back anymore as this intimate atmosphere called for it.

“Then… why did you distance yourself from me?” you murmured back, the soft tone of your voices turning the whole situation in something more special. Izumi sighed.

“… because I had to,” he said bluntly. “My parents wanted to get me more involved in the idol scene, and also make me focus on other much more important things.”

You pressed him, not feeling satisfied from his response. “I understand. But I want you to tell me what you want, senpai.”

“What I want doesn’t matter,” he scoffs. “Don’t worry.”

“I worry. I want to know what you felt while your parents made you do all this stuff you had no say in.” she caressed your hand with her thumb, trying to soothe you.

Izumi frowned. “…Fine, I’ll tell you what I want, but I don’t see how this is productive.” he sighs. “I wanted to focus more on modeling. Pose for the camera every day, be praised, loved and acclaimed. As for my private life… I wanted one of those little houses on the outskirts. A couple of bedrooms, a nice backyard like yours. I wanted my kids to grow up there, not here in the big city. I wanted them to live peacefully… away from the media’s attention.”

His lip trembled, but he successfully held back his tears as he kept talking. “I wanted a spouse who loves me. A spouse who wants me around, who I can have fun with. I want… I want someone like…”

He trailed off once more, his voice falling into a soft whisper filled with hopelessness and longing for what he couldn’t have. That’s when he realised he was in love with you when only you could fit those in those blank spaces present in his ideal life. When getting married only sounded right if it were with you.

“…it doesn’t matter what I want. Not now. It’s too late.” he grumbled.

You looked at him with compassion, the same compassion you’d shown to him years ago when he revealed to you how lonely he felt all the time. While everyone seemed so angry at him, you treated him so kindly and not any different from the others. Your kindness, something he came to love yet didn’t understand at the same time. “…Late? Why?” you asked, tilting your head.

Izumi let go of your hand, feeling his resolve crumbling. For some reason, something in him snapped, and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. His voice got progressively louder as he protested. He never meant to sound so choleric— but he did.

“Because I am getting married in two weeks? Because I am only in Tokyo for the weekend? Because I committed myself to someone, because her parents paid a ton of money for this wedding and we have guests flying in from all over the place?!” he barked.

“It’s too fucking late. This is my life now!”

You flinched, body stiffening, not expecting him to get so upset and loud. You avoided eye contact, trying to hide your already watering eyes. You felt mortified, and now that you thought it over, you were really being an asshole, interrogating him like this and indirectly rubbing to his face how he’ll never have the life he wants.

Izumi immediately took notice of how you reacted to his shouting. He bit his lip, mentally slapping himself for hurting you. He was used to you always putting up with his bullshit, and in that moment he didn’t think about how you’d feel if he started raising his voice at you, as if all of this was your fault. Treating you just like the last time you two spoke to each other.

Your overly emotionality could be endearing, yet so annoying— but… he couldn’t stay mad at you for so long, especially not when you were crying.

He sighs. “… you know,” he glanced at the coffee table. “That late afternoon back in high school where I found you still writing in the library, ‘cause I knew you would be there, there was a moment where you asked me to give you my opinion on a bit of your story— I praised you for your phrasing, something you weren’t confident in since you struggled a lot with kanji, and when I looked back at you, you were smiling so widely— you were so happy. You showed me your happiest smile for the first time, and that’s when I saw it.”

He looked up back at you, his hand reaching to wipe a tear that managed to escape your eyes. “I saw that life with you, in that little house with our kids running around in the backyard, that same smile on your face as you stared at our kids being happy without a care in the world. And I… I wanted it so bad. I wanted you so bad that it scared me, so I pushed you away. Do you understand that?”

Your eyes widened and your heart ran frantically. You couldn’t seem to process his words properly as you looked at him with so much stupor. You were so sure he had no interest in you, so hearing him pour his feelings for you out of nowhere made you unable to react properly without looking like an idiot.

Izumi chuckled softly at your reaction. “I wasn’t supposed to want it, wasn’t supposed to want… you. But I did. Want you, that is.”

“And… I still do.” He whispered, his thumb brushing on your bottom lip, making your lips part, unable to hold back anymore.

You felt like an idiot when all you could mutter was another rhetorical question. But you were just so… incredulous. “Y-You do?”

He nodded while a smug smile painted his lips, his face getting closer to yours. “Yeah. Sitting here with you, on this couch, with your papers and journals sprawled on the table… It's like that evening all over again. You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”

And finally, you two met in the soft, intimate kiss that you both have been craving for years. You couldn’t help but gasp, closing your eyes as you tried to kiss back at the best of your abilities while your head spun like crazy.

Meanwhile, Izumi groaned immediately at the contact with your lips, cradling your face in his hands to tilt it and kiss you deeper. You were clearly inexperienced, it was obvious from the way your lips clumsily moved against his. It didn’t feel real how hard he was kissing you right now, trying to convey all his love into it.

Is this what kissing someone you loved felt like? Was it supposed to feel so overwhelming it made your chest hurt? Was it supposed to feel so right and liberating?

Izumi parted from your lips, pushing you flatly on the couch, refusing to not take advantage of this perfect moment. You yelped in surprise as he did, but he immediately latched his lips on yours again to stifle any sound leaving your mouth, swallowing every whimper or moan.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as he climbed on top of you, pulling him closer to you. As he felt you not pushing him away or resisting, he took it as a sign to go further. The kiss went from soft to desperate quickly, a sudden confidence washing over you both as you took in everything: his lips, his breath, his confession, his body over yours… it was real, he wanted this as much as you did, and if you weren’t so busy kissing him, you’d sob in happiness.

Izumi pulled away, leaving you both breathless. He panted, brushing your cheek with his thumb lovingly as he smiled at you fondly. He didn’t dare speak, and so didn’t you. The moment was just so perfect and precious it didn’t need any words.

His hand trailed down your neck, to your shoulder, caressing your smooth skin gently, wanting to delve deeper and have you properly, show you how much he loved you. Ironic, since he still couldn’t manage to utter those three words even in the most intimate moment he could have with you.

You took his hand as he spaced out, impatient, guiding it towards your bosom before placing it on your right breast. Izumi gasped at your bold movement. You were always so shy, meek, you never dared to make the first move, and yet here you were— eyes glazed over with desire as you guided his hand to one of your most sensitive places. Maybe you actually changed a bit, Izumi thought. Or maybe your levels of desperation were so high you stopped holding back.

He swallowed, squeezing your breast gently to experiment. In response you tilted your head to the side, eyes squeezed shut as you breathed out a soft whimper.

He kept squeezing it, gently, still testing the waters. He could feel from the lack of firmness that you weren’t wearing a bra, and his jaw hung at the realisation. Sure, you were home alone and it was bedtime— you could dress however you wanted. But this to him meant that your tits were literally just a layer away from his bare hands. He could even feel the slight poking of your hardening nipple as he groped you.

He shook his head, deciding to not waste any more time and get what he wanted. He was impatient and tired of holding back, and you were too, it was obvious from your deliberate touches and loud whines. He pulled up your shirt until it was tucked under your chin, exposing your tits to him. You yelped, suddenly feeling shy and vulnerable in contrast to your earlier desperation.

He stayed still to admire them for a bit— your pretty nipples were already hard and perked up, both from the cold air and arousal. He swallowed and blinked a few times before squeezing both of your breasts. You moaned a little louder than before, hiding your face in the pillow.

He called out your name, making you move your head towards him so you could properly pay attention to him. “It’s okay,” he murmured, grazing your right nipple with his thumb, earning him a little whimper. “You’re so beautiful.”

Your eyes were all glazed over with lust, love and anticipation. Izumi leaned down, kissing the valley of your breasts before trailing soft kisses towards your right breast again, until he reached your nipple, engulfing it with his warm mouth. You mewled, your hips buckling up as an automatic reaction.

“Ah— senpai…” you moaned, the feeling of his warm mouth sucking your nipple making you lose all thoughts. He groaned as he kept suckling on your breast while pinching the other, his only free hand now reaching down your stomach, his gentle touch tickling you, then to the hem of your trousers, tugging the band playfully.

He pulled away from your nipple, tugging your trousers again while looking into your eyes as if asking for permission. You nodded shyly and he didn’t waste any time in removing them.

He immediately moved his attention to your slightly damp panties. As he pinched your now moist bud, he started massaging your cunt through them, feeling how wetter the thin cloth got as he did. He chuckled to himself.

“God, you are so wet. So perfect. My perfect princess.” he uttered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your clothed cunt.

You squealed, your hips buckling up again. You clenched around nothing as he kept praising you and making you feel good even through your underwear, suddenly getting reminded of how wrong all this actually is as you two went further. Izumi was getting married soon, you two couldn’t be doing this, and yet he seemed to move so confidently, without any care. You knew Izumi was one to always act with much self conviction, but you still had your doubts.

But he truly didn’t care. Didn’t care about his fianceé, his parents, his new life…he didn’t care if he was technically cheating, all he cared about was you now, his highschool love, and now you felt stupid; there was no use worrying about the morality of all this when even him, always so righteous, didn’t.

You needed a release, you needed him so much. Even if you were to regret this after you’ve finished, you didn’t care. You wanted to live in the moment with him right now.

“Senpai, p-please.” as he licked the mound of your pussy through your panties, you pathetically voiced your pleases, gripping onto the pillow behind you as if holding onto the last ounce of self-respect you had in you. “Please…”

Izumi wanted to tease you, to make you beg even harder for it, because he couldn’t get enough of your high pitched whimpers and pleading voice all for him. He wanted to relish on the power he had over you for a little more but… he discarded that idea as he looked at your drenched panties, teary eyes and pouty lips. Maybe next time, he told himself. But he knew there wouldn’t be a next time, this should never happen ever again, or be happening in the first place, anyway.

He cooed you. “I know. I know, princess. But first, I want you to call me by my name. I’ll make you feel good if you do.”

You nodded slowly, too embarrassed to say it, but you complied as your desperation overpowered your shame. “I… Izumi. Izumi, please… make me cum.”

He felt his erection pushing against his pants at your lewd words and suggestive voice calling his name. He had to look away for a bit to compose himself before leaning down to kiss your forehead gently, whispering a soft “Good girl.”

He finally pulled your panties to the side, exposing your bare glistening pussy, feeling its heat. He shivered slightly at the sensation, his own desire mirrored in your body language. He took in the sight of your cunt before leaning down to give it an experimental lick.

You squealed in response, unintentionally closing your shaky legs, but Izumi quickly pinned them down, spreading them again. He kept licking you slowly, gently and carefully to make you feel good. You gasped, trying to not squirm too much as you wanted to focus on how good his licks felt against your lips.

Izumi smiled to himself at the sound of your louder whimpers and moans, spreading your lips, licking them and moving up to suck your swollen clit after your instructions, which made you sob in pleasure, feeling your desperate need to release reaching limits you didn’t know existed.

Izumi pulled away, one finger already probing at your entrance as he coated it with your slick. He looked up at you, asking for permission. “Can I?”

You nodded relentlessly. You knew you weren’t ready for it yet, but you wished he’d just plunge into you and extirpate the orgasm you are seeking so desperately out of you.

He pushed the finger in, slowly, and you sucked in your breath before exhaling. You felt him, knuckle deep into you. It didn’t hurt, it just felt weird as he kept his finger still inside you, not moving. Then, he curled it up experimentally.

Your hips stuttered and you moaned loud, eyes widening, feeling him hitting a spot you didn’t know could be stimulated— it felt so good. It tickled you inside, making your lower tummy feel warm. You covered your mouth in embarrassment from your noises.

“How is it? Does it hurt?” he asked you softly, and you shook your head. He nodded, pumping his finger in and out of you a bit faster. You closed your eyes, focusing on the pleasure. He noticed your hips rocking against his finger, and smiled.

He murmured. “Do you want one more finger?” you nodded immediately. “Yes… p, please.” you mewled and looked away shyly, not being able to handle his intense and loving gaze.

Izumi hummed, probing a second finger to your entrance. He used his other hand to spread your hole wider, making it easier for him to insert a second digit inside along with the help of your wetness. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the size of two fingers starting to hurt you a bit.

Izumi noticed this and immediately stopped, panicking a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Yes… um, keep going...” you murmured.

He nodded, pushing again a little gentler, feeling the resistance of your tight cunt melt under his touch as he stretched you wider. He scissored his fingers inside of you, pumping them faster as he felt you slowly accommodating to them.

You moaned, covering your mouth as you locked eyes with him. They teared up from the pleasure, your chest and stomach heaving and spasming with every jolt as his fingers hit your sweet spots. As he fingered you, he leaned back down to suck on your clit, and you almost screamed. You gripped his hair, pushing him further on your clit, sobbing.

“Izumi, feels so good, I— ah, it feels so good, I wanna cum…!” you hiccuped, tears streaming down your face from the intense sensations. Izumi groaned in your cunt in response, speeding up his movements, his fingers relentlessly squelching inside you as you finally reached your high with a high pitched, shaky cry.

The usual exploding sensation in your tummy seemed so much stronger now than when you masturbated. You arched your back as you hid your face in the pillow, the world around you slowly becoming a little clearer as you came down from your high, more tears spilling from the cacophony of different feelings that overwhelmed you post-orgasm.

Izumi panted, his body moving to hover over you. “…Princess, hey.” he patted your cheek gently, wiping your tears. “Are you okay?” he frowned as he asked you. He would never forgive himself for hurting you.

But you nodded with a soft, tired smile, leaning up to kiss his lips tenderly as to reassure him.

“…I… I love you, Izumi. Thank you.” you murmured, and his eyes widened.

…It should have been obvious at this point that you had feelings for him, yet, hearing them coming out of your lips with so much tenderness and gentleness made his heart swell, tears pooling in his eyes as he bit his lip to hold himself back.

But your hand reached out, caressing his smooth cheek with care. You smiled at him again, your eyes never leaving his. “It’s okay…” you murmured, reassuring him with also a gentle look of your eyes that yes, it’s okay if he cried. It’s okay cause you were there to remind him that you’d never judge him or laugh at him for being vulnerable, for showing basic human emotions. For letting go.

It was always like this, you were so emotionally intelligent and wise. Every time you made him read your stories or poetry, something you didn’t allow even to Anzu, he’d be in awe of how beautifully you were able to put your emotions into words.

Izumi finally sobbed, letting go, his tears splattering on your cheeks, but it didn’t bother you. You just kept wiping and caressing his cheeks, an understanding smile gracing your lips. Izumi laid his forehead on yours, choking out pathetically his words of love.

“I love you. I love you so much. You… You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Nothing makes me happy like you do. Nothing. How could I even let you go like that? I’m so sorry,” he hiccuped, kissing you deeply again, sucking the breath out of you.

Your heart palpitated at his desperate and regretful tone of voice— it made you shake with emotions too as your eyes spilled more tears again.

He pulled away, wiping your tears and then his, leaning back to take a look at your disheveled form. Your face was sweaty, the only pieces of clothing present on your body being the shirt he pulled up to expose your whole torso and your panties pulled to the side, dripping with your juices. You were so cute and hot, and now you looked even better because of him.

You yelped when he suddenly grabbed your thighs, yanking you and pulling you against him until your wet cunt pressed against his clothed erection, feeling it pulsating. He leaned down, sucking on your neck until it left marks, making you squeal.

“You are all mine, okay? Mine, damn it.” he hiccuped, sniffling as he clumsily unbuckled his jeans with shaky hands, grumbling something under his breath. He immediately pulled them down his mid thighs together with his underwear, revealing his cock to you. His eyes were puffy from crying so hard, yet there was also something else that made them so much different compared to moments ago.

He didn’t leave you any time to even look at his cock properly before he probed it at your entrance, coating his already moist tip with your slick and juices. You yelped, looking up at him and then at his cock that soon would be buried inside of your cunt. Your legs shuddered as you could feel his desperation when he didn’t waste any time pushing his tip inside of you.

“Tell me you are ready for me, fuck, please, princess,” he whined, a breathy moan leaving his lips as he pressed himself further inside your hole, now tighter as a consequence of the muscles contracting from your last orgasm. You moaned in surprise, his cockhead stretching you much wider than his fingers.

You should be using a condom— but you doubted you could stop Izumi now as his tip was already pushed fully inside you, you didn’t have any anyway and you doubted Izumi did too. It just surprised you as you witnessed this different side of him— where he stopped being so composed and dismissive about risks, caring only about you. He was getting so unbearably desperate it scared you, and you wondered how much it hurt him to hold back this whole time.

“Fuck,” he gritted his teeth, hissing under his breath as his whole cock sheathed inside your pussy, stretching you your warm insides fully which made him sigh in pleasure. You moaned, feeling a few other tears slipping down your cheeks. When you felt his cockhead rest against your cervix, you sobbed, the new sensation overwhelming you. You didn’t know if it was normal to feel like this.

“I know, I know you are sensitive, you just came, damn it, I…” he gasped, leaning down to hug you, beginning to thrust into you with slow, hard strokes. “My princess. So tight. I bet she was waiting for me to just take her little virginity, didn’t—“ a grunt, “didn’t she?”

You nodded relentlessly, burying your head in the crook of his neck, hugging him back. You wrapped your legs around him, pushing him deeper into your cunt. “Y-Yes! You, just for you, senpai… I love you!” you hiccuped between loud moans.

Izumi groaned, feeling himself grow bigger at your words. “You don’t know how much I wanted to fuck you exactly like this years ago— pull you inside the staff room with me before my lives every time you hugged me and pressed those annoying little tits of yours against me as a ‘good luck charm’,” he quoted your words from back then mockingly and sped up, kissing your now swollen lips harshly and massaging your tongue with his, trailing his lips down your chin and then on your neck again, sucking on it and leaving more marks. “You can be such a tease when you want to, huh?”

You squealed, returning the favor by kissing him again. You decided to not comment on what he said— you were too busy being vocal about how good he felt and focusing on his cock ramming into you to say anything. It’s not like he was completely wrong anyway— you wanted his attention back then, but you didn’t expect your clingy hugs to stir something like that in him.

He pulled away, the rhythmic sound of skin slapping on skin stuttering before going back to the initial pace.

“You are doing such a good job— don’t worry, I…” another low, rough grunt. “I love you.” he sobbed out, your warm cunt sucking him in so perfectly he couldn’t speak— as if you were made just for him. “I want you to rely on me, always.” You had him in the palm of your hand at this point, he was yours no matter what.

Your cunt tightened around his cock as he confessed his love to you again, making him moan and laugh playfully. Your face was a mess of tears and sweat— flushing with a feverish red. Yet Izumi couldn’t help but think how beautiful you looked, all because of him. He felt himself getting closer to his release as he admired the lewd sight under him together with the warm, wet tightness of your cunt sucking his cock so well, which made him unable to hold it back anymore.

He sped up his movements again, chasing his orgasm. He moaned softly with every thrust, his hands leaving your hips to squeeze your tits. They didn’t last long on the supple flesh as they soon reached to intertwine his fingers with yours. He leaned down, kissing your ear softly before whispering with a soft moan, “I’m gonna cum, princess.”

You gasped, nodding. You hugged him close to you again, same with your legs wrapping around him to keep him inside you. “Cum inside me,” you begged. “Please. I wanna— I wanna give you the family you always dreamt of!”

Izumi bit his lip, eyes widening as he felt your legs locking around him to keep him inside you. Suddenly, he snapped back to reality, realizing the implications of your words. He wanted to still inside himself inside of you so, so bad, especially when you begged him so nicely. But he couldn’t allow it. It sounded like a dream, yet he knew it’d become an actual nightmare if he got you pregnant.

“No. You know we can’t.” he choked out, slipping out of you. This earned him a whine and a frustrated sob from you.

He started stroking himself with shaky movements. “I can’t cum inside you, princess,” he panted between strokes. “I���m gonna cum… here. It’s okay. Take it all for me, that’s it. I love you so much.” He shortly reached his orgasm, coming on your stomach with a loud moan of your name.

You whimpered when you felt the thick, warm spurts of his seed coating your stomach. You felt your insides getting wetter and wetter from the dirtiness of it all, which made you ache for more. But you came so hard earlier you doubted you could manage to reach your peak again soon.

He finally started catching his breath, running a hand through his hair. He looked down at you. “Are you okay? Did I…hurt you?” You shook your head and he smiled, placing another soft kiss on your forehead.

“Good, uh…” he trailed off as he saw you scooping up his cum from your stomach, licking it while keeping eye contact. He blinked in surprise, blushing.

“You didn’t have to do that…” he grumbled, rolling his eyes as you giggled at his bashfulness. He soon laid on the couch next to you, exhausted, your bodies tangling and overlapping as you both struggled to get comfortable on the limited space of the couch. You looked at each other with love, then you spoke, shyly nestling into his chest.

“Izumi… stay.”

He frowned— there you go, with your wishful thinking he was dreading to hear. He could feel his heart become heavier with guilt as he felt your warm, comforting presence against him contrasting the cold, hard reality of what was about to come. This is all he wanted, to have you in his arms. But he couldn’t enjoy it, not when it was happening in such an unconventional situation.

He caressed your hair slowly, trying to soothe you; because he knew that what he was about to say would hurt you deeply. It was all his fault— indulging in you when he knew another woman was waiting for him at home. He bit the inside of his cheek before speaking.

“…I can’t.” he murmured against your hair. “I can’t. I have a fianceé at home, a wedding coming, an apartment and— and if I don’t go back to my parents’ house tonight, they’re going to wonder where I am, and…”

Your loud sob cuts him off, and his eyes immediately widened in concern. He raised your head in a panic, and his heart immediately broke as he saw the distraught expression on your face. Fat tears streamed down your cheeks as you sobbed uncontrollably in your hands, your shoulders stuttering as you did.

He just laid there in shock, watching as you hysterically cried in front of him. It’s as if you already knew what he was about to say, you expected this— that’s why the dams broke so easily. And yet you still begged him to stay, clinging onto that last hope which made you think that maybe things would had magically been different after this heartfelt, romantic encounter. You always relied on him as your upperclassman, so you probably thought he had something prepared up his sleeve just for you. But this time he had to disappoint you by slapping the harsh truth in your face.

Izumi had never seen you this way before— wounded, broken, and utterly devastated. He had wanted so badly to comfort you, to hold you and tell you that everything would be alright, but he couldn't. Even if he tried to lie— he didn’t have any energy left to do it properly because the reality was much crueler than any falsehood.

“Not again, please, don’t leave me alone again…” you choked out, your fists gripping his shirt in protest.

Izumi’s throat tightened, tears pooling in his eyes again at the gut wrenching scene unfolding in front of him. The hopelessness in your voice felt like a punch in the stomach, a parasite eating him from the inside, and all he could do was stare at you as you bawled. The energy between you and him was now disturbed, strained.

“…I’m sorry, I…” Izumi stammered. He didn’t know what to say anymore. His apologies fell on deaf ears as you hugged him tight, your crying never stilling. There was nothing he could do to make you stop crying or reassure you— this was how things were. How could he do this to you again? How could he be so selfish?

He couldn’t help but lose himself in his fantasies just for a moment— If only he had been braver, if only he didn’t blindly follow his parents wishes and just fought for your love, for you both, if he had never started mistreating you and pushing you away... things could have been so different.

The smell of sex in the room now felt nauseating and violating. It constantly served him as a reminder that he took away your innocence without any shame— all to satisfy his selfish desires. He knew he ruined you beyond repair by doing this and for a moment, it felt exhilarating knowing you won’t have to deal with his egocentric self ever again from now on.

Because you didn’t deserve this, to be used and then left alone as if nothing happened. Leave you to cry yourself to sleep in here while he left to celebrate. His heart felt lighter at the thought that by leaving you, you’d be able to find someone better, move on, find someone that could help you forget about him, someone, anyone. As long as it wasn’t him. Even if it hurt and you’d cry for months, eventually you’d be able to start new— something he would have hated to see before coming in here. But now he realised that’s what is best for you.

He got off the couch as you cried, buckling his jeans. He then took a tissue he had with him and started cleaning you up, helping you get dressed as you still sobbed and hiccuped more softly, avoiding his gaze. He didn’t say anything as he helped you get into your jeans, deciding to only kiss your thigh a bit as a loving gesture, now lacking of any lust. He then shushed you, moving to kiss your wet cheek tenderly, his thumb brushing against the other one.

“…I love you.” he kissed your lips softly, your last kiss together— his last selfish wish. You didn’t reciprocate. He didn’t comment about it.

He straightened himself, wiping his tears quickly. Then, with heavy, dragged steps he walked to your front door. Despite promising himself he wouldn’t, he paused, looking back at you one last time, stupidly expecting you to run up to him and beg him to stay once again— beg him to run away together, date secretly, or whatever other forbidden love cliché trope he could remember at that moment. Even if he knew he could never change the situation to make you happy, even if he knew he didn’t deserve you, he wished you’d give him a reason to make him think otherwise in this last minute.

As he expected. He exhaled in defeat when he saw your back turned towards him— you were still crying, though a little more quietly, not daring to turn to look at him for one last time. You just accepted his departure, as if you had lost all faith you had in him again, just like nine years ago. That sight completely broke him, the anger and frustration he had towards himself resurfacing once again. You hated him, he quickly came to that conclusion. He was too self absorbed to think that maybe you were pushing all the blame and hate on yourself instead, that’s why you couldn’t look at him in the eyes anymore.

He gripped the doorknob and groaned, opening the door that revealed him the way back to his reality with a harsh pull, slamming it as he walked outside quickly.

The rumbling of his bike’s engine was the last thing you heard before you lulled yourself to sleep with old comforting memories, clutching the pillow that now clung to the faint smell of him.